Full Time CryBaby

Summary

Podcast Summary: What We Spend – Episode: Full Time CryBaby

Introduction

In the "Full Time CryBaby" episode of What We Spend, host Courtney Harrell delves into the financial and personal journey of Juhas, a 35-year-old makeup artist and aspiring full-time drag performer based in New York City. This episode offers an intimate look into the costs, challenges, and emotional investments associated with transitioning into a creative career in the vibrant world of drag.

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Meet CryBaby (Juhas)

Courtney introduces the guest:

• Courtney Harrell [02:12]: "This is Cry Baby, a spooky or horror-themed drag queen."

• CryBaby [02:17]: "When I'm in drag, I go by Crybaby. Out of drag, I go by Juhas."

Juhas shares their age and residence:

• Courtney Harrell [02:21]: "Juhas is 35 years old and they live in New York City."

Artistic Beginnings and Move to New York

Juhas reflects on their early romanticization of the artist's struggle and the reality they faced upon moving to NYC:

• CryBaby [02:43]: "You know, it's not as romantic as I thought it was going to be."

Their professional background includes working as a makeup artist for high-profile acts like the Blue Man Group:

• Courtney Harrell [02:58]: "Their last job was with the Blue Man Group. I mean, talk about makeup forward."

• CryBaby [02:58]: "Yeah, well, you know what, I'm not going to lie. I'll just say it's kind of like icing a cake..."

Transitioning to Full-Time Drag

After being laid off from the Blue Man Group, Juhas decides to pursue drag full-time, a move fraught with financial risks:

• Courtney Harrell [03:06]: "Crybaby is ... at the apex of everything that's scary, sexy and stupid."

• Courtney Harrell [03:57]: "How did you get into it originally?"

• CryBaby [03:57]: "So that's. It's really interesting because when I was a child..."

Juhas recounts their first drag performance and the inspiration behind the CryBaby persona:

• CryBaby [05:20]: "Like the doors on my closet were blown open. And, like, within a year, I was buying makeup..."

• CryBaby [05:48]: "Do you remember the first time you went out in Drag?"

• CryBaby [06:17]: "My concept was I was a slutty houseplant..."

Financial Breakdown

Juhas provides a detailed account of their income sources and expenses, highlighting the precarious nature of freelance artistic work:

• CryBaby [08:08]: "I have two. Two things about that. I think one of them is to realize you're not going to make money right away..."

• CryBaby [09:48]: "To make it full time, Juhas would love to be doing three to five shows a week..."

Breakdown of monthly expenses:

• Rent: $16.50
• Utilities (Gas & Wi-Fi): $150-$200
• Phone Bill: $25
• Transportation (Subway): $290 monthly
• Groceries: $200-$300
• Debt Payments: $400/month towards $20,000 credit card debt

Personal Struggles and Motivations

Discussing the emotional aspects of shifting careers, Juhas opens up about past hardships and the drive to pursue their passion:

• CryBaby [13:09]: "Why did you decide in this moment of losing this last job to pursue your artistic interests full time?"

• CryBaby [13:17]: "I have been hungry for the space to be able to explore more with drag and makeup..."

Juhas reflects on their upbringing and internalized beliefs about financial stability:

• CryBaby [26:13]: "I grew up quite poor, you know, I grew up in a trailer park..."

• CryBaby [28:35]: "This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime."

Audio Diary: A Week in Juhas's Life

The episode features a day-by-day audio diary from Juhas, detailing their daily expenditures and activities as they prepare for their first full-time drag performance.

• Day One [16:12]: Spends $24.27 on cold brew, a croissant, and equipment for their show.

• Day Two [21:02]: Sacrifices $19.50 for ice cream and chips; invests $40 in a two-week yoga pass to maintain physical well-being essential for drag performances.

• Day Three [29:02]: Attempts to fix styling tools to avoid unnecessary purchases; spends $43.18 on wig supplies and groceries.

• Day Four [32:11]: Details the extensive and costly nature of maintaining a drag wardrobe, estimating total drag-related expenses between $5,000 and $10,000 due to donated and altered materials.

• Day Five [35:30]: Despite feeling unwell, Juhas spends $87.48 on Wi-Fi and continues to create wigs using recycled materials.

• Day Six [36:37]: Invests $92.42 on makeup and a hot pink bodysuit, emphasizing DIY approaches to save costs.

• Day Seven [39:49]: Allocates $64.75 for contact lenses, hair extensions, and hairspray; performs their show, spending a total of $50-$70 on the performance. Receives $20 in tips but views the investment as valuable for personal and artistic growth.

Reflections and Conclusions

Post-performance, Juhas assesses the financial and personal outcomes:

• CryBaby [41:23]: "I made about 20 bucks."

• CryBaby [42:34]: "If I can be honest with you, right now, making money from the shows isn't the most important thing."

Juhas emphasizes that the true value lies in artistic fulfillment and personal achievement rather than immediate financial returns:

• Crybaby [42:47]: "I just want to have fun with it. I want to do what I want to do. I want to explore what I want to explore..."

Despite the high costs and low immediate earnings, Juhas remains committed to their artistic path, viewing expenditures as investments in their future career and self-expression.

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Final Numbers

• Total Weekly Spending: $418.56
• Performance Costs: $50-$70
• Earnings from Tips and Ticket Sales: Approximately $70-$90

Closing Thoughts

Juhas's journey as CryBaby underscores the financial risks and personal rewards of pursuing a passion in the arts. While immediate financial gains are modest, the investment in creative expression and personal growth holds significant value for Juhas. This episode of What We Spend highlights the delicate balance between financial stability and artistic ambition, offering listeners a nuanced perspective on the costs associated with following one's passion.

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Notable Quotes

• CryBaby [02:17]: "Crybaby is a bombastic, in-your-face, flirty, horrifying clown."

• CryBaby [05:20]: "Like the doors on my closet were blown open."

• CryBaby [08:08]: "Drag is expensive, and you are probably, as a starting queen, not going to get a return on investment right away..."

• CryBaby [13:17]: "I was tired of spending so much time and energy making money for other people..."

• CryBaby [42:47]: "I just want to have fun with it. I want to do what I want to do..."

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About the Podcast

What We Spend is an Odyssey original podcast by Audacy, where individuals from diverse financial backgrounds share detailed accounts of their weekly spending habits. Hosted by Courtney Harrell and featuring producers Margot Gray and Kristin Torres, the podcast aims to provide listeners with authentic insights into personal finance through real-life stories.

For those interested in sharing their financial journeys, Audacy invites submissions at [e-mail].

Transcript

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[Juhas]

A.

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[Courtney Harrell]

Who is Crybaby?

[Crybaby]

Cry Baby. She's a skank. No, I love Crybaby so much. Crybaby is a bombastic, in your face, flirty, horrifying clown. Like I always tell people that Crybaby is at the apex of everything that's scary, sexy and stupid. Like there's always an element of horror, but there's also, I don't take it too seriously. There's always like a wink to it. You know, there's some irony. There's something to it. So that's who she is. I love her. I love the slut. She's fun.

[Courtney Harrell]

This is Cry Baby, a spooky or horror themed drag queen.

[Crybaby]

When I'm in drag, I go by Crybaby. Out of drag I go by Juhas.

[Courtney Harrell]

Juhas is 35 years old and they live in New York City.

[Crybaby]

After I made the decision to move out here, I would not stop talking about the fact that I was moving to New York and that 27 year old version of myself really romanticized the artist struggle.

[Courtney Harrell]

How are you feeling about the artist's struggle now?

[Crybaby]

You know, it's not as romantic as I thought it was going to be.

[Courtney Harrell]

Juhas has always been an artist and a performer, and they've been making money that way for a long time, most recently by working as a makeup artist for theater productions and film shoots in the city. Their last job was with the Blue Man Group. I mean, talk about makeup forward.

[Crybaby]

Yeah, well, you know what, I'm not going to lie. I'll just say it's kind of like icing a cake. If you've iced a cake, you can get a Blue man ready.

[Courtney Harrell]

Juhas will always love doing makeup. But when the show closed and Juhas got laid off, they decided to use this time to lean into their love of drag. After years of working various survival jobs at tech stores and in the service industry, they are ready to try to make it work as a full time drag performer. But that's a risk because doing drag is expensive and making money with it isn't always straightforward. This week we'll follow along as Juhas pushes past their fears and prepares for their very first performance as a full time drag queen. I'm Courtney Harrell and this is what we spend. How did you get into it originally?

[Crybaby]

So that's. It's really interesting because when I was a child, like four or five, I loved girls clothes, I loved Barbies, I loved shiny things, I loved hair. And I remember I was always so jealous of girls because they got to wear the fun stuff. I thought it was so fun. But I was very early on taught, like, you are a man, you do not do that. This is how you need to behave. So I very quickly learned to kind of tuck that away because to be 100% open and vulnerable. Like I did kind of. Not kind of. I did grow up in an abusive household. So there was a lot of myself that I had to tuck away and in order to, like, survive and get through that. And a huge part of that was my queer identity and my interest in. At the time, I didn't know it was drag. I just thought it was like really pretty cool stuff and I wanted to do it. So, yeah, I kind of tucked that all away and I never addressed it again until my late 20s.

[Courtney Harrell]

Juhas says that even though they came out when they were 16, it was still really important to them to be street passing and masculine for a long time. But then they moved to New York in their 20s, got some distance from home and started to peel away some of the protective layers. And then a friend introduced them to drag.

[Crybaby]

Like the doors on my closet Were blown open. And, like, within a year, I was buying makeup, and, like, I was thinking of all of these cool ideas that I wanted to do, and it just, like, completely shifted and transformed my relationship with not only, like, my own gender identity, but also my relationship with myself as an artist. And, like, all the things I never let myself do because I thought that I wasn't allowed to do it.

[Courtney Harrell]

Do you remember the first time you went out in Drac?

[Crybaby]

I do, yes. It was Pride Weekend 2021. It was actually at a plant shop.

[Courtney Harrell]

Juhas had gone into the plant shop to ask for advice about how to make a new garment made completely out of plants, which can't be a question that they get all the time. But the plant shop found the whole experience so inspiring that they decided to throw a botanical ball for pride and they asked Juhas to perform.

[Crybaby]

My concept was I was a slutty houseplant. I had a corset and a bra that I used macrame with, and I had, like, these hip bones that I had with, like, vines going on them. And it was a lot of fun. Everybody went crazy. That's when I knew, like, okay, I meant to do this because at the end of the number, like, the climax of the number, I dropped to my knees and I had a watering can and I poured water all over myself, and everybody lost their mind. Like, the place exploded. And it was so much fun. Everybody loved it. They were so enthusiastic about it. And, yeah, it was just. It was so liberating to do. For the first time. I made a lot of money, which was also great. And I made 300 bucks that night. I've never made that much from a single gig before. So I'm like, was that really the best idea? Like, is this the right impression to give me right off of the bat? But no, it was great.

[Courtney Harrell]

Juhas eventually picked their drag name, and they realized that Crybaby could be a place where they could blend their love of drag and their love of horror. So Crybaby loves dramatic, almost clown like makeup with brightly colored wigs and punk grungy outfits. And she tends to do kind of over the top stunts. Like, one time she stapled dollar bills to herself. Anyway, that first performance at the plant shop led to another at another venue, which led to another and another until they were performing a few times a month, and they thought, maybe this could be a job. Walk me through the logistics of how a queen can make money. When you're imagining, like, I'm gonna move into this space. Here's the ways that I could pull money. What are the options for you?

[Crybaby]

Good question. I have two. Two things about that. I think one of them is to realize you're not going to make money right away because drag is expensive and, like, you are probably, as a starting queen, not going to get a return on investment right away on the things that you buy. So you have to be okay with that and understand, like, if I'm spending money on this wig, on this garment, I'm going to wear it a few times for it to pay for itself, so to speak. The other thing is, when it comes to the gigs, and I have to say that the gigs that I'm doing right now as a drag performer are all ticketed shows. So people are paying to come to these shows, which is great because that means that no matter what, I'm getting a guaranteed cut versus something called a tip gig, where, like, you go to a bar and it's either an open night, an amateur night, or you're invited to perform, but they're not paying you anything. You're just making whatever the audience tips you. That is. So hit or miss. I've had tip gigs where I've made $300 in one night. I've had tip gigs where I've made $5 in one night. So it really just depends on the crowd, the venue, the evening, you know. So right now, the ones that I'm doing are ticketed, so I generally make about. In ticket sales about anywhere from 50 to 100 a show from ticket sales and then a little bit here and there from tips. Like, I think I made like 20 bucks in tips the last show that I did, which is great.

[Courtney Harrell]

To make it full time, Juhas would love to be doing three to five shows a week with a mix of maybe one or two ticketed shows a month and then tip gigs. Crybaby also has a video podcast that Juhas hopes will eventually bring in money alongside the drag performances. But they're not trying to get rich. They just want to be able to do their art and help other queer artists. And they think $60,000 a year would be a comfortable place for them to do that. For now, though, they're just trying to pay the bills. Let's get into Juhas numbers. As they're starting out, Juhas expects to make $600 to $800 a month on a mix of ticketed and tip gigs, and they'll supplement that with freelance makeup work and odd jobs like pet sitting. They also filed for UNEM, which would give them $1,500 a month for up to about six months or until they start earning more than $500 a week. They did have some savings before they got laid off, but they've already used it to cover their expenses, especially rent, which is $16.50 a month for one half of a three bedroom apartment.

[Crybaby]

It's a beautiful apartment. I love it. It is not made for three people. So what my roommate and I do is we, we each have a bedroom and then we split that third room as like an office space.

[Courtney Harrell]

Oh, so nice.

[Crybaby]

So that's where like half of my dry closet is. All of my makeup, stuff like that. It's, it's so good.

[Courtney Harrell]

UHAS covers gas and WI fi for the apartment, which is a total of 150 to 200amonth depending on their gas use.

[Crybaby]

And then phone bill is, it's $25. Why? Because I have a lovely little discount. All I'm going to say is I just, I have a very excellent deal with my phone bill. Thank you to the powers that be.

[Courtney Harrell]

They don't have a car so they just spend 290 a ride on the subway. And they try to do that as little as possible walking everywhere that they can.

[Crybaby]

Groceries per month. That is also variable. I hate to say it, but I do think that if there's like a hierarchy of priorities with like one of these has to go, it's going to be groceries like if I don't have enough money it's just like, okay, well then I'm just going to ration my food out a little bit better this week. So it is roughly 200 to $300 a month. I would like it to be more, to be able to like nourish myself more and like enjoy little treats.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yeah, I mean that is just to say like $200 or $300 on groceries in New York goes so fast.

[Crybaby]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Juhas]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Courtney Harrell]

They're on Medicaid so no health insurance costs and they pay $6 a month for PrEP and HIV prevention medication. They also have a few subscriptions, Dropout TV Shutter and a streaming bundle that has their music and icloud storage lumped together. All of that together is a total of $75 a month regular debt payments.

[Crybaby]

Okay, so here's the thing. I was very reckless with credit cards as I'm sure so many people are. You know, being a young, hot single person moving to New York, like everything goes on the credit card. So I did unfortunately acquire a lot of credit card debt. I have about $20,000 in credit card debt that I'm paying $400 a month towards when I can.

[Courtney Harrell]

Why did you decide in this moment of losing this last job to pursue your artistic interests full time?

[Crybaby]

I'm going to sound. I'm going to sound so crazy when I say I don't want to know. I'm not going to sound crazy because I know a lot of people think this way. It's very woo woo. I have been hungry for the space to be able to explore more with drag and makeup. I've been bitching and moaning about it for about a year, if I'm being honest. I was tired of spending so much time and energy making money for other people and just constantly losing myself in these survival jobs that I didn't really care about. With the exception of Blue Man Group. I did love that job. But when I found out that I was getting laid off, I felt like it was me receiving what I was asking for rather than stressing out about what I was going to do next or, you know, trying to find any job I can get my hands on. I was just like, no, this is the time for me to actually allow myself to invest in my art in a way that I've never really allowed myself to before.

[Courtney Harrell]

Have you ever tried to do this full time before?

[Crybaby]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I once upon a time, never would have thought that I could make a living as an artist. I always felt like I had to be attached to another side job, something more stable, so to speak. So, yeah, this is the first time I've ever actually taken that leap. And it's terrifying, I'm not gonna lie. But I'm happy to be here because it's. If I didn't do it now, I know for a fact I would have absolutely regretted it if I. If I didn't take this shot.

[Courtney Harrell]

After the break, we'll dive in to Juhas's.

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[Crybaby]

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[Juhas]

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[Crybaby]

Uber on our way.

[Juhas]

Alrighty. Audio diary, day one. We are kicking things off, baby. And I just got back to my apartment because I was spending the day out and about being a menace to society. Not really. I, I was just kidding.

[Crybaby]

I had a lot to do today.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yuha started their day at a coffee shop where they spent 1718 on cold brew and a croissant that they enjoyed while getting some work done.

[Juhas]

And I also created and edited the track that I'm going to be using for my drag show next week. And with that, I did spend a dollar and 29 cents on a song. But that's, I mean, that's an investment. You know, it's, it's worth it for a good quality audio recording to be able to work with and manipulate and edit. So it's fine. So 1.29 on that. And I finished the track. It sounds great. I'm happy with it. I'm excited to move forward and continue planning my number. You know, part of my strategy for getting ready for this show is going to be rather than buying items, I'm going to be constructing them from raw materials and from scratch for a lot of things. And of course it's going to save money. But the trade off is that it is going to take a lot of time, which, honestly, right now we trade our time for money. So, you know, that's what I'm going to be doing, styling some wigs and getting things ready for the show. I did hit a little bit of a snag when I was trying to work on my wigs because with my number I'm planning on having a wig reveal because, I mean, Crybaby is kind of a stunt queen. So I have to style two wigs and in order to do that, there's some tools that I need and I got really frustrated because I realize I have no idea where the hell some of my tools are.

[Courtney Harrell]

Juhas was looking for hair clips, combs and spray that they needed for the wig styling.

[Juhas]

I know they're here because I'VE seen them, and I have used them recently. I just don't know where I could not find them for the life of me. And I got pretty frustrated. I think there was that impulse that I had to, like, just say it and go buy some new ones real quick just so I can get to work. But, like, I really don't want to have to do that. I really don't want to have to do that because I already have these tools. And just it seems so wasteful to buy another pair right now when, like, money is tight. And I just. I know they're here. So my game plan is tomorrow to go through and clean up my. My drag space and everything and. And figure it out, you know? But I ended up pivoting from styling wigs to finishing up a set of nails that I'm making for this number. And they look so fierce. It's exactly the kind of detail that I love to add to. To Crybaby's looks. Like they are stiletto. They're rhinestones. They're UV reactive. They look just so good, and I'm so excited to wear them. And thankfully for, like, the materials to make those, the rhinestones I already had in my. My crafting kit, so that was set and ready to go. I got those a while back. Super cheap. But, yeah, the nail kit, though, that was a gift from one of my best friends back home in Las Vegas. I told her that I wanted to start making my own nails for drag because commissioning them was just so freaking expensive. Like, my first set of nails, I think, was, like, 50 bucks. Yeah, I just put those to work, and I made these super awesome nails. They look great. It's good that I have that and the track for my number done, so I can spend the rest of the week just really focusing on, like, the hair, finishing the garment, and working out my choreography, because we're. We're getting to the. The. The. The wire. We're less than a week away from the. The show, and, you know, it's a lot of work for, like, 20 seconds of. Of cheer, but, you know, it's impactful, and the audience will remember me, and I'm here to entertain at the end of the day. And it's worth it after paying to.

[Courtney Harrell]

Take the train to meet someone in the city. Juhas's total for day one was $24.27.

[Juhas]

Okie dokie audio diary. Day two. I do have to come clean about something. I have to be honest. After I sent my recording last night, I ended up, you know, I ended up taking an edible. I'm an edible girly. It's something that I like to, you know, have at the end of some particularly rough days or, you know, I'm a. I'm just a very anxious person, especially right now with this huge career change that's happening and all of the financial uncertainties. It's just, you know, I just. I felt called to melt into my. My bed for a bit and melt I did. However, the Munchie gods hungar demanded service, so I ended up going to get some snacks for me and my roommate last night.

[Courtney Harrell]

But Juha sacrificed 1950 to the Munchie Gods for ice cream and chips that they shared with their roommate. On day two, Juhas also went to yoga. They decided to take advantage of a deal where they could get two weeks of unlimited classes for $40.

[Juhas]

Thinking about my drag career, like, yoga has become a very important part of my process and my prep and my art and my craft because, you know, I'm. I mean, some people know probably, but I don't know if people really understand how physically demanding drag can be. I mean, it's. You know, we're strutting around, moving very dynamically in, like, these high heels, and we're cinched and corseted and, you know, I. Most of the numbers I do, I'm wearing a breastplate that weighs, like, 25 pounds. So it's, you know, it's.

[Crybaby]

That's a lot of extra weight to.

[Juhas]

Be moving around on stage and while I'm dancing and stunting and kicking and all that stuff. So I do yoga as a way to kind of tune my instrument and maintain my physical wellness and make sure that I'm able to perform the way that I want to perform without injuring myself.

[Courtney Harrell]

After yoga, Juhas went to the coffee shop and the grocery store and also got charged for their streaming bundle, bringing their total for the day to $106.46 before they went home to keep working on their number.

[Juhas]

The second half of today did not go any way that I had planned. It didn't go in any direction, really. I ended up kind of falling into this kind of paralysis that I fall into from time to time, and it generally happens when I'm feeling, like, overwhelmed with stuff, and I just kind of shut down. And, you know, it has nothing to do with my drag. It has nothing to do with getting ready for this show and nothing to do with prepping or getting back on stage. That's all stuff that I'm so excited for. Like, I'm eager to get back on stage and to start doing drag again. It's. It's so fun. But I think where the overwhelm is, is in the fact that I am now acutely aware of how difficult this is going to be financially. And I think it's. It's something that I kind of expected. Like, when I heard that I was going to be getting laid off, I knew that it wasn't going to be super duper easy. But I was very optimistic about using this time in this space to transition into a more freelance, creative drag career. But I think now that. How old am I? I'm 35. I've been working since I was 15, so 20 years. I've spent 20 years of my life, of my working life in this pattern of regular streams of income. I have not had any point in the past 20 years where I have not had a steady flow of income from work. And it's a very difficult transition to make going from that to not having a steady flow of income. So, yeah, that's. That's the. The space that I'm in. I'm in today.

[Courtney Harrell]

For Juhas. A lot of the anxiety about trying to make things work without that steady income comes from knowing what it's like to live on very little.

[Crybaby]

I grew up quite poor, you know, I grew up in a trailer park, and my mother and father did a lot for us, you know, we were not. Not taken care of, you know, but also I was acutely aware of the fact that we were poor. The only time money came up is. The only time money came up is when my parents were like, you are going to grow up, go to college, and make a lot of money. But we never really talked about our money as it was at that point. It was almost like I was the aspiration of their financial goals.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yeah.

[Crybaby]

Versus sitting with what we had and actually looking at it.

[Courtney Harrell]

Was that ever a vision that you had for yourself?

[Crybaby]

It was for a minute. I think it's just kind of how I grew up. I was raised as, like, the smart kid, no shade to my sister. My sister is very smart. She's very clever, very creative. But for some reason, my parents latched onto me to be the one to, like, be the first one to graduate college, and you're going to be a doctor and you're going to make lots of money, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it was always just like, you would never be able to survive as an artist, no matter what I wanted to do, no matter what. And I love my mother. I love her so much. And I totally understand where she's coming from. I get it. But every time I told her like, hey, I'm, I think I'm gonna go try to be a singer or hey, I'm going to special effects school and I'm gonna try working in film, her response would always be something akin to like, oh, that's nice. But did you know that JetBlue was hiring? That's nice. You should be an X ray tech. Like, it was always like, that's cute. However, this is how you should make money. And I think I internalized that without realizing it. And it wasn't until maybe like two or three years ago that I realized that I was never fully allowing myself to actually work as an artist because I didn't believe that I could.

[Juhas]

This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime.

[Courtney Harrell]

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[Juhas]

So whether you're a fan of true crime or prefer a nail biting novel from time to time, with services like.

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[Juhas]

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[Courtney Harrell]

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[Crybaby]

Visit Amazon.comprime to learn more.

[Emma Greed]

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[Sponsor Voice]

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[Emma Greed]

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[Crybaby]

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[Juhas]

So do like I did and have.

[Emma Greed]

One of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail].

[Courtney Harrell]

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[Courtney Harrell]

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[Juhas]

Okie dokie audio diary, day three. Now an update with the wig situation. I, I'm probably going to have to get a couple of tools. I, I just can't find them. And it's frustrating because I know as soon as I buy what I need, it's gonna show up, it's gonna piss me off, but it's, I don't know, we'll see. I, it'll probably run me like no more than $20 to get a couple of the tools that I need. But, and that's, you know, in the grand scheme of things, it's, it's not a lot of money. But like for me right now I'm just trying not to spend anything. So I don't know, I might sit and I might reevaluate my Plan for styling these wigs and see if I could just, like, lean into my scrappy, resourceful, creative side to make it work without having to buy anything else. I think for now, I'm just gonna. I'm gonna play. I'm gonna play. I'm gonna see what I can do, and we'll go from there.

[Courtney Harrell]

Juhas did end up going to the store to get some more supplies. They got some alligator clips, a wide tooth comb, and spray to keep the synthetic wig from tangling. That, plus a quick stop for groceries cost them $43.18.

[Juhas]

I did get a package today, a delivery from my mom. She helped me out. She got me this robe that I had my eye on for this number, and it's so, so glamorous. I love it. It's this blush pink with feathers on the. The bottom and on these on the sleeves. And the sleeves are just big and billowy. Ugh. It's everything. It's gonna make. It's gonna look so, so good. It's gonna be something that I will use a lot, which is going to make the cost totally worth it because my mom did send it to me. But I am going to pay her back. That's the thing. It's. This robe was about 80 bucks, and I don't want that to fall on her. So I told her I was going to pay her back once I have the. The funds to do so. And it's fine. I don't mind. Once again, it is a gorgeous piece. I'm so glad to have it in my drag closet. I'm gonna use the fuck out of it.

[Courtney Harrell]

Day four.

[Juhas]

Let's go ahead and talk through my. My drag closet. So when I talk about my drag closet, I'm talking about. I mean, I'm talking about everything. Wigs, I have about 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 wigs right now of varying colors and sizes. With drag, of course, there's shoes. I'm a size 13 in women's shoes, so sometimes it can be challenging to find shoes in my size. I have, I think, six or seven pairs of shoes onto, like, the garments. A whole bunch of stuff. Shiny, glitzy, glamoury feathers, structured jackets. Some really cool pieces. We also have body, how we pad or cinch. I don't always pad. I am a thicker girl. I have thick thighs, and I have a juicy behind. I do have a breastplate. This mama is huge. That cost about $300. I got that a while back when I first started doing drag, back when I had money.

[Courtney Harrell]

You walked us through your drag closet.

[Crybaby]

Mm.

[Courtney Harrell]

If you had to guess how much your entire drag closet is worth, what would you guess?

[Crybaby]

Everything included. We're definitely in the thousands. Like, many, many thousands. And I think that's because I'm including my makeup kit in that. My makeup kit is worth thousands of dollars because I have my makeup that I use for drag, but I also have the makeup that I use when I'm on set, which is a lot of stuff we're in. Like, we're probably between 5 and 10,000, and that's with me getting half of the stuff that's in my closet for free. A lot of my dry closet was donated to me by friends who work in costume warehouses and stuff. A lot of it doesn't fit. I have to alter it, but it's still there. It's still a material that I can work with. I also have so much fabric that was donated to me that I can build with. So, yeah, I know if I had to pay for everything in my drag closet, it would probably be double what I'm saying right now.

[Courtney Harrell]

Double. Like, up to $20,000, probably.

[Juhas]

Wow.

[Courtney Harrell]

I think it's going to surprise a lot of people how much money drag costs.

[Crybaby]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Courtney Harrell]

And was there a moment for you that you realized, like, oh, shit, like.

[Crybaby]

This is going to cost me kind of. I always knew that it was an event. I'm not. I'm not dumb. Like, I. When I see a drag queen, I see the work that goes into it. There's a lot of people out there that don't. There's a lot of people out there with, like, a skinny twink body and an Amazon account that think that they can do it. Not to be, but, like, when I see a drag artist, like, I see all of the different elements, and I understand that it's going to be one of two things. You either spent a lot of money for that, or you spend a lot of time on that, which are kind of the same thing.

[Juhas]

Yeah.

[Crybaby]

So I knew going into it that it was going to be one or the other for me. I anticipated spending more time than money, and that's kind of where I'm at right now. It's just taking more time than I thought that it would.

[Juhas]

All right, audio diary, day five. I've just been. I've been feeling kind of under the weather, but today was pretty productive, despite the fact that I'm not feeling 100%. You know, I got a lot done with these wigs. I'm almost done. And it's really cool. I was able to sculpt some horns into one of them, and I didn't have to buy anything for it. I was able to just use some tin foil and some medicine cups that I use for disposables for my kit, and just a ton of glue and a dream, you know, I'm pretty proud of being able to sculpt something fun and different on a very limited budget. Pretty proud of it. So, yeah, that was good. I did pay my wi fi bill today was $87.48, and that's the only thing that was spent today. But, yeah, again, just very productive. Busy day. I've been in the zone pretty much all day. So, yeah.

[Courtney Harrell]

Day six started with a whirlwind of errands. They spent $14.97 on breakfast, grabbed some teeth paint that will turn their mouth pink for $10.45, and a hot pink body stocking for 42. Lunch on the way home was $8, and then they got back to work.

[Juhas]

I spent most of my day just continuing to sculpt and do something fun with these wigs. I was worried for a second because one of them. It was, like. It looked kind of cute from far away, like, if you squinted your eyes, but up close, it just. It looked like shit. Oh, my God, it looked so messy. And it just. I wasn't happy with it. So I spent a good chunk of time today fixing it, and I dug through my craft drawer, and I just pulled a bunch of random that I got for other gigs in the past, like, some pink ribbon and some. Some stones and stuff, and I. I glued them into the wig. And, yeah, you know, it looks. It looks pretty cute. It looks pretty cute. And it's honestly gonna feel. It's gonna feel a lot better going on stage knowing that, like, I made my nails, I made my hair, I did my makeup, and, like, the clothes I bought, but everything else, all the styling, the way I pieced it together, that was all me. I just think I'm gonna be really proud of it tomorrow.

[Courtney Harrell]

After buying one more meal, their total for day six was $92.42.

[Juhas]

All right, audio diary. Day seven. We're at day seven. Wow. Holy hell. This week flew by. It flew by like crazy. And today is the day. Today's the day of the show, and I'm really, really excited. Also, I'm currently sitting at my makeup station getting my skin ready for my mug. So forgive me if I sound weird as I'm talking, but it's because I'm massaging stuff into my face, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So today's the day I did go to the beauty store, and I got.

[Courtney Harrell]

At the beauty store, Juhas got contact lenses, some extra hair extension pieces, and hairspray for 64.75.

[Juhas]

And I feel great about it. You know, I know I'm. I'm putting a lot more money into this than I guess I initially thought, but at the end of the day, I really just. I want to show up and show out. So it's really important to me that it comes together the way I envisioned it. And, yeah, that's where we're at. I'm about to get my contact lenses in and I'm gonna get this mug together. And I look forward to updating you post show. Oh, I'm so excited. Oh, this is gonna be so great. It's gonna be so freaking great. I can't wait.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yuha sent a video of the performance, and it's amazing. They start in that pink feathered robe from their mom with their black wig twisted into horns with ribbons. They're lip syncing very sweetly to dream a little dream of me.

[Emma Greed]

Stars shining.

[Courtney Harrell]

And then gradually, it's like some sort of demon takes over them. Their song keeps getting interrupted by these genuinely scary outbursts until a new song hits.

[Emma Greed]

You're all going to die tonight.

[Courtney Harrell]

And suddenly they're dancing in the crowd in just a bodysuit. And then the horns come off to reveal that second pink wig. It's very smooth and the crowd loves it. Juhas is clearly having a great time.

[Juhas]

All right, audio diary, day seven, final entry. Oh, I feel so good. I feel so good. Everything came together, I think, really nicely, although my nails kept popping off. But it's fine. It's fine. We made it a whole scavenger hunt after the show. It was great, but everybody loved my number. Everybody was living for it. But, yeah, it was great. I made some money on tips. I don't know how much it's in my bag, but, you know, it was great. I feel so accomplished. It was so great to be back on stage. I got so many positive compliments on this performance. Yeah, I'm feeling great.

[Courtney Harrell]

How much did you earn in tips that night?

[Crybaby]

I made about 20 bucks.

[Courtney Harrell]

Okay, and you spent somewhere between 150 and 200 bucks on the performance. Is that frustrating?

[Crybaby]

No, no. The thing is, I'm still waiting on the ticket sales, and I know that's going to be about like 50 to 70 bucks. So in reality, like, I spent like 50 to $70 on this performance. And there's a couple reasons why it's not frustrating.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yeah.

[Crybaby]

One, everybody loved it, and I learned a lot of shit. I sculpted my own wig, and it looks great. I'm definitely gonna wear that again. I love that robe. I'm definitely gonna wear that again. Like, I still have those nails. I'm definitely gonna wear those again. So, like I said earlier, even if it's not paying for itself from this one performance, I have it in my arsenal if I need to do another show or if I want to go to a bar and, like, I can pull this number out and, like, alter it a little bit, depending on the space and the time constraints. But, you know, I've done it now I can sit on it, and if I need it again, I can bring it back out.

[Courtney Harrell]

And also, like, it sounds like a totally practical investment, but also, it sounds like it's doing something for, like, you, like, deep inner view.

[Crybaby]

Yeah. If I can be honest with you, right now, making money from the shows isn't the most important thing. I know I am transitioning into a career with this, but I think right now I understand. It's going to take me a minute to start making an income off of this. I just want to have fun with it. I want to do what I want to do. I want to explore what I want to explore, find my voice as an artist, get people excited for whenever they see my name on a poster. Like, that's what I'm trying to do right now. Money is secondary to that, and the money will come. Even if it's not going to fully cover the cost of the performance. If it covers half of it, that's fine. That's fine. I've spent more on worse. You know, it's. I don't think at this point with starting my career, I'm not mad at not making all of the money back in one show.

[Courtney Harrell]

Juhas total spending for the week was $418.56.

[Juhas]

Sense.

[Courtney Harrell]

If you want to hear more of Crybaby, check out their podcast, horroricon. That's W H o r R o r what we spend is an Odyssey original podcast. It's written and hosted by me, Courtney Harrell. Our producers are Margot Gray and Kristin Torres. Our editor is Jonathan Menhivar. Our executive producers are Marty Sprung Keyser and Leah Rhys Dennis. Theme song and original music by Matt McGinley. Additional music from APM music mixing by Pedro Alvira. Special thanks to Zach Clark, Joel Lovell, Jenna Y. Sperman, J.D. crowley, Maura Curran, Josefina Francis, Kurt Courtney, Hilary Scheff, Sean Cherry, Laura Berman, and Hilary Van Ornam. If you want to be on what We Spend, we'd love to hear from you. Write us at whatwe spend podcastmail.com foreign.

[Emma Greed]

I'm Emma Greed and I've spent the last 20 years building, running and investing in some incredible businesses. I've co founded a multi billion dollar unicorn and had my hand in several other companies that have generated hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars. The more success I've had, the more people started coming to me with questions. How do you start a business? How do you raise money? How do I bounce back from failure? So it got me thinking. Why not just ask the people I aspire to the most? How did they actually do what they do? I'm so incredibly lucky to know some of the smartest minds out there, and now I'm bringing their insights along with mine, unfiltered, directly to you. On my new podcast, Aspire with Emma Greed, I'll dive into the big questions everyone wants to know about success in business and in life. Through weekly conversations. You'll get the tangible tools, the real no BS stories, and undeniable little hacks that actually help you level up, listen to and follow Aspire with Emma Greed and Odyssey Podcast available now. Wherever you get your podcasts.