Retired and On Edge

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Retired and On Edge" – What We Spend

Episode Release Date: April 23, 2025
Host: Courtney Harrell
Guest: Cherry's Mom, a 57-year-old retiree from Boston, Massachusetts

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Introduction

In the "Retired and On Edge" episode of What We Spend, host Courtney Harrell delves into the financial and emotional challenges faced by Cherry's Mom, a retired social worker navigating unexpected financial strains and caregiving responsibilities. This detailed exploration provides listeners with an intimate look into the realities of early retirement and the complexities of managing personal finances under pressure.

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Cherry's Retirement Background

Cherry's Mom retired at 57, six months prior to the podcast, from a fulfilling 38-year career as a social worker for the Department of Children and Families. Prior to retirement, she earned approximately $110,000 annually, supplemented by additional gigs and a pension. Expecting a smooth transition into retirement, Cherry envisioned a life filled with personal projects and more time with friends. However, unforeseen circumstances quickly altered her plans.

Key Points:

• Early Retirement: Retired three years after becoming eligible, ahead of the US average retirement age of 62.
• Career Satisfaction: Loved her role as a social worker but dreamed of expanding her side business, Cherry Bomb Catering, post-retirement.
• Caregiving Responsibilities: Cherry took on significant caregiving duties for her ailing mother, limiting her ability to pursue personal goals.

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Financial Challenges Faced

Upon retiring, Cherry's Mom discovered that her pension barely covered half of her previous income, leading to immediate financial anxiety. The situation worsened when Cherry's partner suffered a car accident, forcing him into early retirement and further halving their combined income.

Notable Quote:

"I thought that before retirement I would have more money flow. Now, I'm embarrassed because I realize I wasn't financially ready."
— Cherry's Mom [03:24]

Financial Breakdown:

• Combined Income Post-Retirement: Approximately $5,900/month.
• Major Expenses:
  • Housing: $1,800/month
  • Utilities: Gas ($125), Electric ($150-$175), Cable & WiFi ($159)
  • Phone Bills: $236/month combined
  • Credit Card Payments: $600/month
  • Groceries: $300/month

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Daily Financial Logging: A Week in Retired Life

Cherry documents her daily expenses and emotional state throughout the week, highlighting the stark contrast between her expectations and reality.

Day 1: Initial Struggles

Cherry grapples with not receiving her first retirement check and begins feeling the strain of a limited budget.

Notable Quote:

"I just feel like I haven't been prepared to retire. Maybe I live beyond my means."
— Cherry [05:45]

Expenses: $73.50
Key Activities: Managing medical appointments, grocery shopping.

Day 2: A Glimmer of Hope

Cherry's Mom receives good news about her mother's health, providing temporary relief. Cherry remains vigilant about her budgeting.

Notable Quote:

"I just have to figure out a way to live more comfortably with my current finances."
— Cherry [10:14]

Expenses: $7.52
Key Activities: Handling medical news, maintaining budget discipline.

Day 3: Organizing Finances

Feeling low, Cherry focuses on organizing bills and making necessary payments, including phone bills and contributions to her daughter's expenses.

Expenses: $208
Key Activities: Cleaning, bill management, planning social activities.

Day 4: Mixed Emotions

Cherry receives her retirement check but is disappointed by the tax deductions. She begins repaying borrowed money to friends.

Expenses: $159
Key Activities: Assessing retirement funds, managing debts.

Day 5: Financial Relief

Cherry caters an event, earning $600, which alleviates some financial pressure. She reflects on the loss of her work community.

Notable Quote:

"I'm sad that I had a great connection with my clients and my work community."
— Cherry's Mom [29:38]

Expenses: $2,532 (with an income of $600)
Key Activities: Catering services, emotional processing.

Day 6: Social Engagement

Cherry attends a friend's birthday brunch, successfully clearing the bill through contributions from attendees. She also explores additional income opportunities.

Expenses: $125
Key Activities: Socializing, networking for supervised visit positions.

Day 7: Taking Control

Cherry decides to apply for a position conducting supervised visits for the court system, aiming to secure independent income. She successfully pays off a significant debt, marking a step towards financial stability.

Notable Quote:

"My goal is to get my priorities in place and make my retired life more livable."
— Cherry [38:09]

Expenses: $4,097.02 (Total for the week)
Key Activities: Debt repayment, career restructuring.

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Emotional and Social Impact of Retirement

The transition into retirement has not only strained Cherry's Mom financially but also emotionally. The lack of a structured schedule and the loss of daily professional interactions have led to feelings of isolation and sadness.

Notable Quotes:

"I feel stuck and haven't had the chance to truly enjoy retirement." [00:46]
"Sometimes my daughter teases me about being a 'loser' because I'm retired." [22:39]

Key Insights:

• Loss of Routine: Difficulty adjusting to an unstructured day without the demands of a full-time job.
• Social Disconnect: Missing the camaraderie and connections built over years of work.
• Emotional Strain: Increased anxiety and occasional depressive feelings due to financial uncertainty and lack of purpose.

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Steps Towards Solutions

Determined to regain financial independence and emotional well-being, Cherry takes proactive steps:

1. Supplemental Income: Starting her catering business and exploring roles like supervised visitations to generate additional revenue.
2. Debt Management: Prioritizing bill payments and reducing outstanding debts to alleviate financial pressure.
3. Social Engagement: Organizing craft nights and maintaining a supportive friend group to enhance social interactions.
4. Budgeting Discipline: Strictly monitoring daily expenses and distinguishing between needs and wants to manage limited funds effectively.

Final Notable Quote:

"Retirement means retirement. I'm figuring that my new endeavors and my goals are to work for myself and make my own money."
— Cherry [32:59]

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Conclusion

"Retired and On Edge" offers a candid portrayal of the unexpected hurdles that can arise in early retirement. Cherry's Mom's journey underscores the importance of financial preparedness, the emotional challenges of leaving a long-term career, and the resilience required to navigate unanticipated life changes. Through meticulous budgeting, seeking additional income streams, and fostering social connections, she endeavors to transform her retirement from a period of anxiety to one of empowerment and fulfillment.

Listeners are left with a profound understanding of the multifaceted nature of retirement, highlighting that financial stability and emotional well-being often require continuous effort and adaptability.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "I thought that I was going to retire and get myself a food truck and start my food business and travel with my food truck." — Courtney Harrell [05:40]
• "I have such bad sleep anxiety because I'm constantly thinking about it." — Cherry's Mom [10:06]
• "I'm trying to follow what my mom said. Focus on the things you need and not the things you just want." — Cherry's Mom [17:19]
• "I feel like I'm important again. People need me and that my help is needed." — Cherry's Mom [38:27]

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This episode is produced by What We Spend, an Odyssey original podcast by Audacy. For more insights into personal finances and real-life spending stories, subscribe to What We Spend on your preferred podcast platform.

Transcript

[Courtney Harrell]

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[Cherry]

Of six collectibles and your choice of.

[Courtney Harrell]

A Big Mac or 10 piece McNuggets.

[Cherry]

With spicy nether Flame Sauce.

[Courtney Harrell]

Now available with a Minecraft movie meal.

[Cherry's Mom]

And participating McDonald's for a limited time. A Minecraft movie only in theaters.

[Cherry]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying Big Wireless Way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Courtney Harrell]

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[Cherry's Mom]

You listen this podcast is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. We are not financial advisors. You should always do your own research and consult your own financial advisor before spending or investing your money. Please note that all income, financial information and expenses in what we spend are self reported. I'm kind of feeling stuck and I'm not super excited about being retired like I thought I would be. And my mom keeps saying to me, you really are going to be okay. She's like, you've done your time with like working, now enjoy retirement. But I just feel like I haven't really had a chance to like say I'm really enjoying retirement because I've just been on edge.

[Courtney Harrell]

This is Cherry. She lives in Boston, Massachusetts and I.

[Cherry's Mom]

Am gracefully 57 years old.

[Courtney Harrell]

And how long have you been retired?

[Cherry's Mom]

Six months.

[Courtney Harrell]

Before she retired, Cherry was a social worker for the Department of Children and families for 38 years. She loved her job, but she also had dreams of a new life in retirement where she could spend more time with her friends and set her own schedule. In the US the average retirement age is 62, so at 57, Cherry is a bit ahead of the curve. But retirement hasn't turned out the way she expected. She's needed to give a lot of her time to caregiving for her mom, and even though she has a pension, she's come to realize that she wasn't financially ready. This week we'll follow Cherry as she figures out what it's going to take to make retirement work for her. I'm Courtney Harrell and this is what we spend. Generally speaking, how would you describe your relationship with money?

[Cherry's Mom]

I will say that I am not the greatest with Saving. And it's, like, embarrassing to kind of talk about because I feel like I'm 57 years old. I should have been saving better. I had lots of time to prepare for retirement, and I've never been good with saving.

[Courtney Harrell]

Is that how you would have described your relationship before retirement?

[Cherry's Mom]

I think that before retirement I would describe it that same way, except that I had more money then, more money flow. You know how I just said, like, I'm embarrassed to talk about it now, but, like, then I wasn't embarrassed because I knew, oh, well, I'll get paid again next week.

[Courtney Harrell]

So what is your income now?

[Cherry's Mom]

So My income is $4,928.18. That is a month.

[Courtney Harrell]

How does that compare to what you made before you retire?

[Cherry's Mom]

It's half.

[Courtney Harrell]

Before she retired, Cherry was making about $110,000 a year, which is on the upper end of what social workers usually make. Cherry often took on additional gigs with the Commonwealth, like working crisis hot. But she also just worked her way up the ladder over her 38 years on the job, adding to her salary and her pension. It's like a relatively early retirement, I think, like in your 50s. When did you become eligible to retire?

[Cherry's Mom]

Three years ago.

[Courtney Harrell]

So was that kind of earliest retirement part of the plan? Always part of the plan, yeah, because.

[Cherry's Mom]

I worked there for so long that I was eligible for it. Pretty much everybody who had gotten to the 30 year mark was like, I'm out.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yeah.

[Cherry's Mom]

But I. When I got to the 35 year mark, I said, I think I'm gonna be out in like, three years. Three to five years. So I was gonna at least stay until I was either 57 or stay to 60. And so everyone kept saying, like, when are you retiring? When are you gonna start your food truck? Because I had started catering.

[Courtney Harrell]

Cherry has always loved to cook, and she has a side business called Cherry Bomb Catering. Part of her dream for retirement is to do more with that business.

[Cherry's Mom]

So everyone was expecting it to happen. And so it just so happened that my mom got sick.

[Courtney Harrell]

After seeing her mom struggle with a whole range of health issues for several years, Cherry learned that her mom had kidney failure that needed immediate attention. That meant someone would need to be available to take care of her and take her to appointments. Plus, there were some other things about Cherry's job that made Cherry feel like it might be the right time to go. So she decided to retire earlier than she'd planned.

[Cherry's Mom]

I was foolish about it. I didn't really, like, I didn't do the retirement counseling or any of that stuff, which I should have done. I should have found out how much money I was going to be receiving before I actually, like, did it. I never really imagined, like, that I would have anxiety about money because I made such good money when I did work that I thought that I would be okay.

[Courtney Harrell]

Cherry was already feeling anxious when things got even harder. Her partner got in a car accident and ultimately was forced to retire, too. When that led to a disability, did you know he was going to retire when you decided to retire?

[Cherry's Mom]

No.

[Courtney Harrell]

Wow.

[Cherry's Mom]

So that just kind of, like, stinks too, because both of our incomes were, like, cut in half. And so I was like, I mean, I'm sorry he had to retire, but I was, like, kind of bummed because I wanted to be retired by myself for just a little bit and just enjoy it.

[Courtney Harrell]

Let's get into Cherry's numbers. Her partner's income from Social Security is about $980 a month. So between the two of them, they bring in about 5,900amonth. What is your housing cost?

[Cherry's Mom]

$1,800. We live in a three family house that's owned by my partner's brother, which is like a big help because it saves us a whole lot of money compared to where we used to live. For the most part, our gas is like 125, and our electric has been about 150, 175.

[Courtney Harrell]

Cable and Wi Fi, 159amonth. Cherry's phone is $111 a month, and her partner's is $125.

[Cherry's Mom]

And sometimes I pay my daughter's, which is $88 a month when I can, if I can have a little extra, because we're all on like, the same bill. So it's my mom's main account, so she doesn't play around. So when the bill's due, the bill's due.

[Courtney Harrell]

Cheri had some recent car troubles, so she's using a friend's car until she buys a new one. So only gas expenses for now, which is about $60 a month. She also doesn't have any insurance costs for the moment because her health insurance was recently canceled. Once she's able to re enroll, that will be $210 a month.

[Cherry's Mom]

I have a couple of credit card payments, about 600amonth. We spend about $300 a month on groceries.

[Courtney Harrell]

Oh, that's hard to do 300amonth in groceries.

[Cherry's Mom]

My partner had gastric bypass surgery, and so I'm not a big eater myself, so. So we eat very small.

[Courtney Harrell]

Do you help your mom Financially, too?

[Cherry's Mom]

No, I don't have to help my mom financially. Thank God she helps me.

[Courtney Harrell]

Cherry and her mom are close. Cherry's mom had her when she was 18. She was a single mom, but she always had good jobs, and they lived with Cherry's grandparents for much of Cherry's childhood. To her, they always had more than enough.

[Cherry's Mom]

We had the best Christmas. We always had tons of food because my mom had 14 brothers and sisters. Well, 13 brothers and sisters. All of her siblings had tons of friends. And so everyone ate over our house, even one of my aunts. Her husband was my oldest uncle's best friend, and he can remember, like, eating dinner over our house, like, every day because his mom struggled financially. And so my grandmother would always say, like, when it's dinner time, it's dinner time. And whatever we had, we made do with it. But I'm telling you, she fed the community. And I don't ever remember my mom or my grandparents saying, I'm sorry, we can't afford that. If there was a struggle, we didn't know about it.

[Courtney Harrell]

Do you remember what the. When you started worrying about money for.

[Cherry's Mom]

The first time in September of 2024?

[Courtney Harrell]

Oh, you didn't worry about it until you retired?

[Cherry's Mom]

Yes.

[Courtney Harrell]

Oh, wow.

[Cherry's Mom]

I've never worried about money. I've worked since 14 years old. I didn't have to work, but I just wanted to work. And some of my friends who had to work, I thought it was nice that they would get their own money and go shopping or whatever, and so I kind of wanted to do that.

[Courtney Harrell]

How are you dealing with worrying for the first time? That's a totally new experience for you.

[Cherry's Mom]

I cannot sleep. I have such bad sleep anxiety because I'm constantly, like, thinking about it.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yeah.

[Cherry's Mom]

Wanting to make sure that I can get through the month. And I know that, you know, if I need to or if I need something, I can always ask my mom. But I'm 57 years old, and I don't want her to know that I'm struggling in any way financially. So holding on to faith, did you.

[Courtney Harrell]

Have an image of what you thought retirement was going to be like?

[Cherry's Mom]

I thought that I was going to retire and get myself a food truck and start my food business and travel with my food truck, like, go to different, like, food truck fairs and, like, different states. That's what I thought I was going to be doing. But I can't leave for long periods of time because. Because of my mom. Even though I have my sister, she's a single mom, and so my sister has to work and I don't have to work and so she can't just take days off to take my mom to all of these medical appointments. So I'm just kind of. I'm kind of feeling stuck.

[Courtney Harrell]

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[Cherry's Mom]

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[Courtney Harrell]

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[Cherry's Mom]

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[Courtney Harrell]

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[Cherry's Mom]

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[Cherry]

Day 1 at 12:45pm I had a very long day today and we're just beyond noon. Time started out with me leaving this morning to take my partner for a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. Mind you, I've been sick for the past three days and in bed. So while I was waiting for him, I took some meds and I just slept in the car and then I woke up and I tried to handle some things that I needed to handle. Like I'm supposed to be receiving my first retirement check and I have not received it yet, which is kind of stressful because my finances are pretty much depleted. However, on the way back home, I had to stop at CVS and pick up some things that I needed. I picked up some Vicks Vapor shower tabs and some Kleenex that I needed for my nose, some ginger ales and a few snacks. I tried to cut down on the snacks because now that I've retired, I feel like I'm on a budget and so I'm trying to focus on buying the things that I need first instead of the things that I just want. And then after I left there, I had to go to the grocery store. I was shocked to see that the loaf of bread that I got was $4.49. So I'm really becoming more conscious and mindful of prices these days. Now I'm here just sitting in my bed, kind of dozing, But I still need to try and reach out to the retirement board, which is the Commonwealth of Massachusetts retirement board, to. To inquire about my retirement check. I am feeling nervous right now. I looked at my bank account statement and my numbers are going down, and it's making me so nervous that I almost feel like I want to get a part time job because I don't know if I was totally prepared to retire. And maybe I live beyond my means and I probably should try to figure that out as well. But it seems to be that there's a lot of things that's kind of making me anxious about my finances. I wouldn't say that I'm gonna fall because I have all the faith in the world that I'm gonna succeed. I just have to figure out a way so that I live more comfortably with my current finances. Stay tuned for tomorrow.

[Courtney Harrell]

Total for day one, $73.50.

[Cherry's Mom]

And my mom keeps saying to me, you really are going to be okay. You just have to figure out how to survive on a different salary and sometimes focus more on the things you need and not the things you want. And, I mean, I've talked to her a little bit about my finances, and she. She would say, I've always told you, spend wisely and save more. And you did not listen. And she's right. I shopped a lot.

[Courtney Harrell]

What do you like to shop for?

[Cherry's Mom]

Boots. Shoes. I'm like a fanatic.

[Courtney Harrell]

How many boots do you have?

[Cherry]

Oh, God.

[Cherry's Mom]

I want to say I have at least 50 pairs of boots or more.

[Courtney Harrell]

Oh, wow.

[Cherry]

Yeah.

[Cherry's Mom]

I'm like, boot crazy. I have my favorite boots. I have two of my favorite pair. I have a black pair of thigh high boots, and they're like, studded with, like, diamonds. Fake diamonds. All the way around the toe. The whole foot part of it. I love those. And then every year, my daughter buys me a pair of boots. But last year she brought me the chaps, the boots with the fringes on the side. And so they're thigh high and they come with a belt, and I just attach them to my jeans, and I freaking feel like a superstar when I put those on.

[Courtney Harrell]

Where do you wear those boots?

[Cherry's Mom]

So remember two, three years ago when Mary J. Blige performed at the super bowl?

[Courtney Harrell]

Yes.

[Cherry's Mom]

Every quarter I did, like, an outfit changed, and I did like, boots and sunglasses and whatever. And so now my friends are like, oh, my God, the Super Bowl. I know Mary J's not singing, but like, are you gonna do a boot change? Or, like, a lot of people will say, I'm dying to see what your boot collection's gonna be like this year. I just love boots. I just love them.

[Courtney Harrell]

Wow.

[Cherry's Mom]

But I'm trying to follow what my mom said. Focus on the things you need and not the things you just want, because you just want them. Because you can wait for some of the things that you want.

[Courtney Harrell]

What falls into the category of what you need, and what falls into the category of what you want?

[Cherry's Mom]

So what I need is a car. What I want so badly. And I could have done it, but I didn't. Is Mary J. Blige is my favorite singer in the whole wide world, and her concert is coming up. And so what I wanted was to buy myself VIP tickets and a pair of boots from her boot collection to wear to her concert in April.

[Courtney Harrell]

How much were the tickets?

[Cherry's Mom]

The tickets are about $600.

[Courtney Harrell]

And how much are the boots?

[Cherry's Mom]

The boots were, like, $2,000.

[Courtney Harrell]

Ooh.

[Cherry's Mom]

They were gold, and they come up to your thigh, and they were just the best.

[Courtney Harrell]

Did you tell your mom that you didn't buy those?

[Cherry's Mom]

I showed them to her, and she looked at me, and she was like, how much are those? And I told her, and she was like, you better not.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yeah.

[Cherry's Mom]

And so I texted my daughter, and I'm like, nana's such a hater.

[Courtney Harrell]

On day two, Cherry took her mom to see a doctor. Her mom had been having trouble moving her neck, and they didn't know why until this appointment.

[Cherry]

Wonderful news. We finally got some answers today, and I am just, like, overjoyed. I'm not, like, a super, super, super religious person, but I do have a lot of faith in God, and I just feel like the things that led up to the good news that we got today from the doctor was, like, not a coincidence. And I have been praying and praying and praying for some solution for my mom. So I just wanted to share that, because that really takes a load off of me, off of my family, and a sitter that used to take care of me, and my sister is agreeing to live with my mom and help us take care of her. So once again, God is really answering some prayers. I wanted to add that I only spent $7.52 today. I think I'm really doing well with budgeting, and that was buying two hot teas at Dunkin Donuts. Nothing else. I was so tired, tempted to go to the casino just because I was feeling a little lucky. But I decided that I was not going to throw away Money that I truly do not have. So I drove by, blew the horn, and kept it moving. And after this, I'm just going to blast my music like I'm in a a Caribbean parade, because that's how overjoyed I am feeling right now.

[Courtney Harrell]

Total for day two, $7.52. Day three.

[Cherry]

Today was not very eventful for me. I was not feeling the greatest. So I spent a lot of time just in bed. But it almost made me feel like I was falling into some slight depression. So I forced myself to get up. I started cleaning my house and I started going through some of the bills that I have sitting on the table that I have been sort of ignoring, but not ignoring them. I didn't pay any. I just started like piling the up to get them organized. My goal is to go through everything this weekend and start just paying bills. One thing that I did pay was $120 for my phone bill. And I also helped my daughter pay the $88 for her phone bill. So that would be all of the money that went went out. I have a little friend group that we have and we have been talking about doing a craft night. So four of the girls sent me their $25, which would be a hundred dollars sitting in my cash app, requesting me to pick up the supplies for them. I'm excited about this because I need a little night out with the girls just so that I could relax. Just another day. I feel like since I've retired also too. My days are going by so slow and then I feel like I'm this like, old lady now. I'm in bed at 8 o'clock, but I can't go to sleep. But I'm in bed until tomorrow.

[Courtney Harrell]

What do you think has been the biggest adjustment for you in retirement?

[Cherry's Mom]

Not having something scheduled like every morning, like just getting up and looking at my appointment book and like, oh, I know at 2 o'clock I have to do this so I can, you know, relax for a little while or whatever. Just not having anything to do. Sometimes my daughter will tease me and she's like, oh, what are you doing today, loser? And I'm like, don't call me that. Like you, you don't understand how much that impacts me. But of course she's like, ma, I'm just teasing with you. You should look at how long you've worked. You're retired, you should be happy, you should be excited. She's like, I'm really jealous of you. I can't wait to get to the point where you can call me a loser.

[Courtney Harrell]

As a social worker, Cherry's days were packed. She had constant appointments to find and then interview anyone involved in an investigation. And then she'd come home and type up those notes and finish paperwork.

[Cherry's Mom]

So, I mean, it's sometimes if I didn't have to go out and see anybody, I could be typing from like 8 in the morning until 2:30, 3:00 the next morning, and, oh, the next.

[Courtney Harrell]

Morning till 2:30am just trying to get.

[Cherry's Mom]

Cases in on time, talking to collaterals, emailing people, you know, making sure that kids were safe and that get my job done.

[Courtney Harrell]

It sounds like it was like a really huge part of your life.

[Cherry's Mom]

Oh, yeah.

[Courtney Harrell]

Well, also, I mean, I get the impression that you like to be busy.

[Cherry's Mom]

I do, I do. I. I feel like I like it even more now because struggle with a little bit of anxiety and when I'm not busy, it's the times when I'm thinking about, oh, my God, I gotta figure out something to make a little more money. We haven't gotten to the point where we're like, struggling or can't pay anything.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yeah.

[Cherry's Mom]

But I'm still like, oh, God, I feel like it's gonna come soon.

[Courtney Harrell]

Day three's expenses were just those two phone bills, bringing the total for the day to $208.

[Cherry]

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[Cherry's Mom]

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[Cherry]

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[Cherry's Mom]

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[Cherry]

Day 4 Thursday, 8:31am I'm just waking up and I realized that I needed to pay my cable bill, which includes the Internet and the telephone, which we don't use. I'm trying to figure out a way to deduct that from it. Because if it's something that we don't use, then why do we need it? I'm gonna try to get out and get some fresh air today. It's been raining. It's been really, really cold and frigid all of a sudden. But I feel like in order for us to sort of break this cold up and get rid of some of these germs that's floating around in the house, that we're gonna have to do some cleaning and open up the windows and get out. I am so excited to talk about some good things that happened to me today. An update on my retirement check. My retirement check did come. I am slightly disappointed in the amount, which was like $4,098 with a message attached, that when they paid me out my vacation and sick time, they didn't take the proper amount of taxes out. And so I need to fill out some kind of document and pay the right amount of taxes. So once again, like, they're taking more money from me. I just feel like I can't get a break financially. But you know what? I'm just gonna maintain like I've been doing. And just a side note, so when I was waiting for my checks to come, I had borrowed some money from two of my friends, and I had promised that I would pay them back this month. However, financially, I don't feel like I'm able to pay them both back. But what I am going to do is tomorrow I will be cashapping both friends half of the money that I borrowed for them. I borrowed $2,500 each. And so I'm going to send them half of that back with a message and a promise to pay them the rest of the money next month. And then life goes on.

[Courtney Harrell]

Cherry's total after paying bills on day four was $159. But she knows she'll be spending more tomorrow when she pays her friends back. Day five.

[Cherry]

Today was quite a busy day for me. I had to cater an event for a beauty salon that was opening today. And so they requested that I make two charcuterie boards and some chicken wings, some excellent salmon egg rolls. And So I made $600 today, and then I filled up my gas tank for $32. And then I sent out money to the two people that I owe money to. So that was quite the relief offer me. And I really don't know how I'm feeling about retirement anymore. I was a little excited to get here, but now I'm kind of sad being here.

[Courtney Harrell]

What is the sadness.

[Cherry's Mom]

I'm sad that I had a great connection with my clients and my work community.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yeah.

[Cherry's Mom]

So the sadness is like, I don't see these people anymore. I'm not making these connections. I felt like I made so many connections, like, every year, like, just with, like, resources. And so I don't get to see people like I used to. And that's the sad thing for me.

[Courtney Harrell]

Total for day five, $2,532 with an extra income of 600. Day six.

[Cherry]

So despite being sick, I pulled it together enough yesterday to go out for brunch to celebrate a friend's birthday. We had the greatest time, and it was 16 of us, and we just parted our hearts out. And it wasn't super costly. Everyone got to order what we wanted to order, and each one paid $125 each, and that cleared our bill. And it also paid the tip with the waitress. Funny little quick story. So my friend who organized this was talking to me about, like, other ways to make money, and she had shared with me that I should apply to do the supervised visits with the court. And because I have my license, I can charge up to $150 an hour for visits to be supervised.

[Courtney Harrell]

Cherry is talking about working as a third party observer for the state. So, for example, if parents are in a custody battle or have been accused of some kind of abuse, Cherry would be the supervisor who helps make sure everything is safe for the kid. If she did that, she'd get to set her own rates.

[Cherry]

So I'm hopping on that today. And anyways, we were, like, dancing and we were engaging back and forth with the dj. Little did I know the DJ posted on Instagram, you gotta love the older ladies. And a picture of us dancing. My daughter actually saw the picture on Instagram because she's friends with the dj and he sent her a message that I was the whole, entire vibe of the whole place and that he loves me and he looks forward to me bringing the vibe back to the brunch. Kudos.

[Courtney Harrell]

First of all, you sound very fun.

[Cherry's Mom]

I get it in when I can. And like my friend, my little friend group, I'm a little bit older than them. I'm actually like, me and my partner are the oldest ones in our little friend group, and they're like, I swear to you, like, you fucking party, like, way harder than we do. And they're like, we feel old. We're going home. And I'm like, all right, see you guys later.

[Courtney Harrell]

You know, you said. You said something about feeling like an Old lady.

[Cherry's Mom]

Yeah.

[Courtney Harrell]

And I wondered if it changed your relationship with aging.

[Cherry's Mom]

Yeah. Because I don't really have any retired friends.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yeah.

[Cherry's Mom]

And so now it's making me feel like I don't have nothing to do. It's about to be my birthday. I'm gonna be 58. I'm like, I don't want to feel like an old lady. I want to, you know, want to still party and feel a little bit youthful or whatever. But my friends don't really have time for that because they work.

[Courtney Harrell]

Has retirement changed how you talk about money with people?

[Cherry's Mom]

Absolutely. Absolutely. Before, when people would mention, like, you know, hey, we want to go on this cruise, or we want to go here, or we're going to go to this fancy restaurant or whatever, like. Like, out. Let me, you know, think about it, and I'll let you know if I'm gonna go. But, like, sometimes my friends can be a little bougie and, like, going to some really bougie restaurants. And so I'm just like, yeah, I'm not gonna. I'll pass this time because I don't want to go and spend, like, $300 per person on dinner.

[Courtney Harrell]

Have you said why to them when you decline those things?

[Cherry's Mom]

I joke with them and say, remember, I'm balling on a retirement budget now.

[Courtney Harrell]

Yeah.

[Cherry's Mom]

So I'm just letting you know that some things I will not be going on. And then a lot of my friends are like, oh, come on. You've paid for us so many times. We'll pay for you. And I'm like, I don't need charity. I don't need anybody to pay for me. I want to be able to go and have a good time and pay for myself and not feel like the third wheel or the one who couldn't pay for themselves. And one of my friends is like, But I'm usually always the person who can't pay for myself, and you've always paid for me, so, like, we'll pay for you. And I'm like, no, again, I'm balling on a budget, and I'm sticking to it.

[Courtney Harrell]

Total for day six. $125 on that birthday brunch. Day seven.

[Cherry]

Today is officially my. My last recording. I am trying to get some things in order, and I have officially decided that I am applying for the position to do supervised visits for the court system, because I just need to make some money, and I want to be independent, and I want to work for myself. I decided that I don't want to work for anyone else anymore. Retirement means Retirement. I'm figuring that my new endeavors and my goals are to work for myself, to have my own business, to make my own money, to set my own fees, and to not have to answer to anyone else. And so that is my goal. I paid off a debt of $1,000 today. Gosh, that really put a dent in my budget, but it was helpful to get it off my shoulder. I had a lingering national grid bill that I literally hated opening up the envelope, but I decided that I was just going to keep paying and keep paying and keep paying until I got it down to an amount where I could just pay it off. During the pandemic, I let some things slide because I knew that certain bills or certain things couldn't be turned off. And my bill just kind of got out of hand, and I didn't share it with my partner because that's the part of the finances that I handle. And. And I didn't want him to see me as irresponsible. But I also didn't want to take a risk of having the services disconnected when I assured him that I was on top of the bills. It's one thing that I also feel like I have to get better with being honest and staying on top of the bills and not just being halfway there. I. I want to be able to pay my bills and say that they're paid and out of the way, as opposed to slightly bending the truth and saying that they're paid when I've only paid, like, half of it. And then I use the rest of the money to go out and do something foolish like go drinking with some girls or go to the casino, when these things are literally not priorities in my life. And so I guess what I'm trying to say is my goal is to get my priorities in place. And maybe once I'm able to do that, my budget of a retired woman would be much more livable. And I know they always say it gets greater later. I'm looking forward to that.

[Courtney Harrell]

Cherry's total spending for the week was $4,097.02. You ended your week deciding that you were going to start working again?

[Cherry's Mom]

Yes.

[Courtney Harrell]

How has deciding to do that changed your anxiety level?

[Cherry's Mom]

Oh, my gosh, big time. I just. I can't wait because I can set my own prices. And again, I'm not working for anybody. I'd be working for myself. And so it's making me kind of feel like I'm important again. People need me and that my help is needed.

[Courtney Harrell]

What We Spend is an Odyssey original podcast. It's written and hosted by me, Courtney Harrell. Our producers are Margo Gray and Kristin Torres. Our editor is Jonathan Menhivar. Our executive producers are Maris Brunkhyser and Leah Rhys Dennis. Theme song and original music by Matt McGinley. Additional music from APM music mixing by Pedro Alvira. Special thanks to Melissa Akiko, Slowly Slaughter, Joel Lovell, Jenna Y. Sperman, J.D. crowley, Maura Curran, Josephina Francis, Kurt Courtney, Hilary Sheff, Sean Cherry, Laura Berman, and Hilary Van Ornam. If you want to be on what We Spend, we'd love to hear from you. Write us at whatwe spend podcastmail.com.

[Cherry's Mom]

Sa.