What We Spend
Episode: Single Dad Comes Back to Shore (Part 2)
Host: Audacy
Release Date: June 25, 2025
Introduction
In the second part of the heartfelt series, "Single Dad Comes Back to Shore," hosted by Courtney Harrell, we delve deeper into Michael's life as he navigates the complexities of single parenthood, financial struggles, and supporting his transgender child. This episode provides an intimate look into the daily challenges and emotional toll that financial instability can have on family dynamics.
Michael’s Financial Struggles
Michael opens up about the stark reality he faces upon returning from a family cruise. The financial strain becomes immediately apparent as he details his expenses:
-
High Daily Expenses: After returning from the cruise, Michael incurred costs such as a $116.70 Uber ride and a $150 missed therapy appointment fee, bringing his day's total to $3,100.32—“And that is more than I make a month as a teacher” (09:27).
-
Weekly Financial Burden: By the end of the week, Michael reports spending $5,600.38, significantly exceeding his monthly income from teaching. He expresses deep frustration and embarrassment over his inability to manage finances effectively: “I am so organized in everything else in my life when it comes to keeping track of money. I can't do it” (11:23).
Family Dynamics and Grandparents' Influence
Michael reflects on his upbringing and the legacy of his grandparents, who epitomized the American Dream:
-
Grandparents’ Legacy: His grandfather, an Italian immigrant, built a successful furniture business from scratch, embodying hard work and humility. “They lived in a one-story ranch... They were not flashy at all” (03:32).
-
Inheritance Issues: The passing of his grandfather revealed a lack of clear financial planning, leading to a family feud and the family being written out of the will. “It was extremely painful and we didn't get any of that money” (05:42).
Challenges of Raising a Transgender Child
A significant portion of the episode focuses on Michael's journey as a parent to a transgender daughter, highlighting societal and financial challenges:
-
Supporting Transition: Michael discusses the financial uncertainty surrounding his daughter's transition, including future costs for puberty blockers, hormone treatments, and potential surgeries. “I worry about college for them. How am I going to pay for college?” (25:15).
-
Navigating Social Obstacles: The episode recounts a distressing incident at the airport where Michael and his daughter faced scrutiny over her identification. “This is a trans child who can no longer have a passport that says X..." (20:18).
-
Family Struggles: While his mother is loving and supportive, her political views as a Trump supporter create tension and misunderstandings regarding his daughter's transition. “She was really scarring and difficult for...” (22:54).
Daily Expenses and Financial Breakdown
Michael provides a detailed account of his daily expenditures, painting a clear picture of his financial predicament:
-
Day 3: $3,100.32 total expenses, including Uber, therapy fees, car repair bill, mortgage, food, and medicine.
-
Day 4: $60.18 on Amazon purchases, $330 chiropractor bill, $24.46 on food, totaling $414.64.
-
Day 5: $205.59 on groceries and $35.99 on protein powder, totaling $241.58.
-
Day 6: $24.58 for hardware, $39.80 on groceries, $280 for tax preparation, totaling $344.38.
-
Day 7: $670 on back pain treatment and $20.91 on melatonin, totaling $690.91.
Michael likens his financial state to "treading water, holding my head up, trying not to drown" (38:16), emphasizing his struggle to keep afloat amidst mounting debts.
Emotional and Mental Health Impact
The financial stress profoundly affects Michael's mental well-being:
-
Anxiety and Despair: Michael describes feeling "physically, emotionally, financially... just pretty beaten up" (08:18) and admits that tracking finances leads to "panic and anxiety" (34:45).
-
Coping Mechanisms: Despite the overwhelming stress, Michael strives to maintain a positive outlook, reminding himself, “you are loved and you are safe, and you can be whoever you want to be” (24:38).
Work-Life Balance and Future Aspirations
Michael expresses a longing for retirement and a more balanced life:
-
Teaching Passion vs. Financial Reality: Although passionate about teaching Spanish, Michael remains entrenched in his current job to afford his children's education. “I just gotta suck it up, and I'm doing this for them” (34:30).
-
Dreams of a Simpler Life: At 56, Michael dreams of retiring to focus on personal interests and spending more time with his children: “I cannot imagine being bored if I did not have to work” (38:07).
Conclusion and Reflections
Courtney Harrell empathizes with Michael's plight, offering support and attempting to reframe his overwhelming situation with a positive metaphor:
- Reimagining Peace: In a therapeutic moment, Courtney encourages Michael to visualize floating calmly on water instead of treading water, leading Michael to describe his ideal peaceful scenario: “I would like to be floating on top of the water with a good aperol spritz in my hand” (39:31).
Michael's journey encapsulates the intricate interplay between financial hardship, familial responsibilities, and the profound challenges of supporting a transgender child in a society grappling with acceptance and understanding. His story is a poignant reminder of the resilience required to navigate such multifaceted struggles.
Notable Quotes:
-
“I just want to retire. I have been working since I was 13 years old. I've been teaching for over 30 years.” — Michael (34:45)
-
“I am organized in everything else in my life when it comes to keeping track of money. I can't do it.” — Michael (11:23)
-
“You are loved and you are safe, and you can be whoever you want to be. Just be kind.” — Michael (24:38)
Timecodes:
- [09:27] Michael discusses daily expenses post-cruise.
- [03:32] Michael reflects on his grandparents' humble lifestyle.
- [05:42] Michael talks about inheritance issues.
- [25:15] Michael addresses financial concerns related to his daughter’s transition.
- [20:18] Michael recounts the airport incident.
- [22:54] Discussion on family dynamics with his mother.
- [08:18] Michael describes feeling overwhelmed on day three.
- [34:30] Michael expresses the desire to retire.
- [38:07] Michael talks about retirement aspirations.
- [39:31] Michael envisions a peaceful life floating on water.
Final Thoughts: "Single Dad Comes Back to Shore (Part 2)" is a compelling episode that sheds light on the real-life struggles of balancing financial obligations with the emotional responsibility of raising children, especially a transgender child in a challenging socio-political climate. Michael's candid narration offers listeners a glimpse into the resilience and determination required to persevere through such adversities.
