🎙️ Where Do Gays Retire Podcast

Transgender in Mexico: Living Authentically Abroad

Guest: Stephanie Byers |Host: Mark Goldstein

What does it actually feel like to walk down the street as a trans woman in a small Mexican lakeside town, and have nobody give you a second glance? That's the reality Stephanie Byers describes in this deeply moving and eye-opening episode. Stephanie, a former Kansas state legislator, GLSEN National Educator of the Year, and the first transgender Native American ever elected to a U.S. state legislature, and her wife Lori now call Ajijic, Mexico, home. And she says it's the freest she has ever felt.

Whether you're trans, LGBTQ+, or simply curious about what life looks like on the shores of Lake Chapala, this episode is for you. Stephanie holds nothing back, from the paperwork to the pharmacies to the cost of a knee replacement to the neighbor who shows up with a walker before you even get home from the hospital.

🌟 About Stephanie Byers

Stephanie Byers is a 63-year-old trans woman, Native American, educator, activist, and trailblazer. Here are a few highlights from her remarkable life:

Spent 32 years teaching band and orchestra, including 29 years in Wichita, Kansas, and 28 of those at a single high school.
Began living authentically in 2014, describing it not as a transition but as simply allowing the world to finally see who she had always been.
Named the GLSEN National Educator of the Year in 2018. Her students celebrated by replacing toilet paper in 100-year-old oak trees with rainbow streamers.
Spoke on the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court during the landmark Bostock v. Clayton County hearings, the case that redefined "on the basis of sex" to include sexual orientation and gender identity.
In 2020, became the first transgender Native American ever elected to a U.S. state legislature, serving in the Kansas House of Representatives.
After her legislative term, she and her wife, Lori, moved to San Antonio, Texas, to care for Lori's aging parents.
In March 2025, Stephanie and Lori moved to Riberas del Pilar on the shores of Lake Chapala, just outside Ajijic, Mexico.

🌈 LGBTQ+ Life in Ajijic

Stephanie describes the Ajijic expat community as overwhelmingly liberal and affirming, with a thriving LGBTQ+ presence:

The transgender expat community is actively growing. Stephanie knows multiple trans women, trans men, and non-binary people living in the area.
The local attitude is best described as live and let live. Walking down the street, Stephanie is simply "a woman" to the people she passes.
Occasional misgendering happens, but Stephanie attributes it almost entirely to language translation rather than intention. Spanish uses "su" for he, she, and it, so nuance can get lost.
The expat community is notably protective of its LGBTQ+ members. When uncomfortable moments arise, people show up.
A Queer Women of Lake Chapala group and a Queer Men of Lake Chapala group both meet weekly.
Westboro Baptist Church has protested Stephanie three times in her life. None of that energy exists here.
Stephanie wears her beaded trans pride earrings made in the style of Southeast Native American nations, and no one notices. "They just match my shirt."

🏥 Healthcare for Trans Women

One of the most practical topics in this episode, and one of the most reassuring:

Gender-affirming medications are available over the counter at local pharmacies, no prescription required. Stephanie walked in, asked for estradiol 2mg tablets, and walked out with them.
Progesterone is available through a mail-order pharmacy with no prescription.
Costs are lower than paying out of pocket in the U.S., and significantly less than what many U.S. insurance plans now charge, if they cover transgender medications at all.
Stephanie has not yet needed to see a physician for trans-related care, but trans women she knows locally report no issues accessing care.
Specialist physicians in Guadalajara focus specifically on transgender healthcare.
Most doctors speak English. Staff may not, but translation apps fill the gap.
Lori's total knee replacement at a private hospital in Guadalajara, including the physician, hospital, and everything else, cost $12,000. The same procedure in the U.S. would easily exceed $100,000.

🛂 Visas and Residency

Stephanie applied for her temporary residency visa at the Mexican consulate in Houston (appointments in San Antonio were unavailable for months). She brought bank statements, pension letters, and proof of income.
Once approved at the consulate, you complete the process in Mexico at an immigration office through a process called a canje (C-A-N-J-E), often with help from a local facilitator.
Stephanie and Lori are now in the third year of their three-year temporary residency (residente temporal), having completed their first year.
After a total of five years, permanent residency (permanente) becomes available.
For trans women: Stephanie's U.S. passport already reflects her female identity, which made the process smooth. She notes that the situation may be more complex for someone whose documentation was recently changed back.
U.S.-plated vehicles can be driven in Mexico under a temporary import permit. For permanent residency, the vehicle must be imported and plated in Mexico, so many expats sell their U.S. vehicles before that point.
Residency financial requirements changed after Stephanie applied. Working with a consulate or immigration attorney is strongly recommended.
Appointment availability varies widely by consulate. Stephanie applied at multiple consulates simultaneously, including Houston, New Orleans, and Oklahoma City.

🚶 Daily Life and Walkability

Stephanie and Lori live in Riberas del Pilar, an unincorporated lakeside community between San Antonio Tlaquepaque and Chapala Centro, about 150 yards from Lake Chapala.
The area is within walking distance of a pharmacy, grocery stores (including Poncho's, an American-style market), restaurants, and an optometrist.
Streets are cobblestone and can be uneven. Sidewalks exist but vary in height. Caution is advised, especially on hills.
East-west travel is fairly flat. Everything slopes toward the lake.
Public buses run throughout the area. Bicycles are common.
Ajijic is a Pueblo Mágico, the Mexican government's designation for towns of significant cultural and historical value.
The Lake Chapala area stretches from Jocotepec in the west to Chapala Centro in the east, with Ajijic and several smaller communities in between.
Roughly 30,000 expats from approximately 40 countries live in the area. The majority are American or Canadian.

💰 Cost of Living

Stephanie estimates their overall cost of living is about one-third of what it was in San Antonio, Texas.
Their three-bedroom, one-story home with a small yard and gated parking for two cars rents for $1,200 per month.
Annual water bill: approximately 15,000 pesos, or roughly $750 for the year.
Monthly propane (used for cooking and hot water): approximately $30.
Electric bill during peak summer with air conditioning: approximately $175 per month.
American brand groceries cost more. Local and Mexican-made products are significantly cheaper.
Fresh tortillas are inexpensive and everywhere. Local produce is abundant.
Exchange rate at time of recording: approximately 17.4 pesos to 1 U.S. dollar.
Some places are cash only. Tap-to-pay exists, but connectivity can be inconsistent.
Gas is sold by the liter and is attendant-pumped. Tipping the attendant is customary.
No Mexican income tax if your income is sourced outside Mexico. U.S. filers continue to file only U.S. taxes.

🎭 Arts, Culture, and Community

The arts community is extraordinary. Stephanie served as assistant music director and played trombone in the pit for a community theater production of Something Rotten.
There is a symphony orchestra, multiple choral programs (auditioned but inclusive), and several theater groups.
Lori is an active member of Artists of Lake Chapala, which holds markets, shows, and studio visits.
The community includes retired photographers from the New York fashion industry, as well as composers, choreographers, and musicians with major-label experience.
A chain of locally owned French bakeries operates in the area, with a master chef from France.
There is a Walmart and a Soriana (a Mexican grocery chain similar to Walmart) for everyday shopping.
The community spirit is remarkable. When Lori came home from knee replacement surgery, a walker had been dropped off, and food was waiting.
Stephanie describes it as the illusion of a 1950s small town, except it's real and it's inclusive.

🌤 What to Know Before You Go

If your U.S. documentation reflects your correct identity, the immigration process should be straightforward.
The adjective "trans" tends to drop away in daily life. Most local Mexicans simply address Stephanie as a woman.
Tap water is not safe to drink. Most residents use filtered water delivery (a 20-liter garafon costs about 28 pesos, roughly $1.60).
Ice at restaurants is generally made from filtered water and has been fine in Stephanie's experience.
Fountain drinks, fast food, and certain American grocery staples are either unavailable local...