Bill Hader

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes)" Featuring Bill Hader

Podcast Information:

• Title: Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes)
• Host/Author: Team Coco, Ted Danson, Woody Harrelson
• Episode Guest: Bill Hader
• Description: Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson reconnect with long-time friend Bill Hader to delve into his career, personal life, and the intricacies of his journey from "Saturday Night Live" (SNL) to creating the acclaimed HBO series "Barry."

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1. Introduction

In this engaging episode, Ted Danson welcomes Bill Hader, beloved comedian and actor known for his tenure on SNL and the creation of the dark comedy "Barry" on HBO. The conversation navigates through Hader's experiences on SNL, his transition to post-SNL projects, the creation and impact of "Barry," and his approach to handling fame and personal well-being.

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2. Bill Hader's SNL Journey

Bill Hader reflects on his eight-year stint on SNL, highlighting the supportive and talented environment fostered by senior members like Seth Meyers, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Maya Rudolph. Hader shares how the atmosphere was competitive yet non-toxic, allowing creativity to flourish without unnecessary rivalry.

Bill Hader [23:05]: "I was very lucky because of Seth Meyers... Tina Fey was the head writer when I showed up."

The camaraderie among cast members, including Will Forte, Chris Parnell, Rachel Dratch, and Daryl Hammond, is emphasized as a cornerstone of his positive SNL experience.

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3. Challenges and Anecdotes on SNL

Hader delves into the high-pressure environment of live television and the anxiety it induced. He explains how he often concealed his nervousness through over-the-top laughter, developing what he calls the "death laugh" to mask his internal stress.

Bill Hader [04:17]: "It's the death laugh. Where I'm like, if I'm on a talk show from a huge audience and I feel like it's bombing... I'm like, this isn't going well at all."

One notable anecdote involves the infamous "Fart Face" sketch, which initially bombed during dress rehearsals but later gained acclaim after adjustments and support from Lorne Michaels.

Ted Danson [04:34]: "I have to bring up Will Forte."

Bill Hader [07:59]: "We did it at dress rehearsal. And this happened to be the show that Sarah Palin came to, and it was the highest rated SNL episode in the history of the show."

Hader also discusses his interactions with Will Forte, whose unwavering confidence in their sketches provided valuable lessons in resilience and self-assurance.

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4. Transitioning from SNL

After leaving SNL, Hader navigated through various projects including writing for South Park, acting in films like "Trainwreck" and "Skeleton Twins", and co-creating "Documentary Now". Despite initial challenges in securing his next steps, support from industry peers like Megan Mullally and introductions to Lorne Michaels paved the way for his continued success.

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5. Creation of "Barry"

The genesis of "Barry" is a highlight of the conversation. Hader recounts his collaboration with Alec Berg, the initial brainstorming session that birthed the concept of a hitman attending acting classes to reconcile his violent profession with his desire for personal growth.

Bill Hader [52:02]: "What if he takes an acting class? Hitman takes acting class. That's funny."

Through iterative development and feedback from HBO, Hader and Berg refined the show's tone to balance dark drama with subtle humor, emphasizing character depth and realistic storytelling.

Bill Hader [55:49]: "We decided early on the first scene should not be funny. So you immediately say, like, oh, it's this. And then let the comedy kind of come in through situations and the people instead of something like that."

Hader's dual role as writer and director on "Barry" allowed him to seamlessly integrate his comedic instincts with cinematic storytelling, resulting in a critically acclaimed series that resonated with both audiences and critics.

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6. Handling Fame and Personal Life

Navigating fame has been a complex journey for Hader. He shares humorous yet candid experiences of being mistaken for characters like Dwight Schrute from "The Office" and the challenges of maintaining privacy amidst public recognition.

Bill Hader [86:07]: "I have a peanut allergy... So we had to work it out where she got stuff with nuts, whatever."

Hader discusses the impact of fame on his family, highlighting the difficulty his children have in connecting his on-screen persona with his real-life identity. He emphasizes the importance of grounding himself through meditation, routine, and genuine interactions with loved ones to maintain his mental well-being.

Bill Hader [72:08]: "I meditate... It takes me a while. I mean, I'm like, this dude's so lame."

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7. Personal Well-being and Grounding Techniques

To counteract the stresses of his career, Hader employs meditation, regular exercise, reading, and maintaining a balanced routine. Disconnecting from digital distractions and prioritizing quality time with family are pivotal in his strategy to stay present and emotionally healthy.

Bill Hader [71:58]: "It takes me a while. I mean... Meditation has really helped me, but just getting into some sort of a routine and also being curious again... listening."

Hader acknowledges the ongoing challenge of balancing creative pursuits with personal life, striving to remain present for his family while continuing to innovate in his professional endeavors.

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8. Conclusion

The episode concludes with Ted Danson commending Bill Hader for his multifaceted talents as an actor, writer, and director. Hader expresses gratitude for the supportive relationships and experiences that have shaped his career, while also looking forward to future projects, including writing a horror movie.

Ted Danson [94:05]: "You really are. I mean, a talented, amazing actor, writer, director. You really are."

Bill Hader reciprocates the praise, highlighting the meaningful connections and creative satisfaction derived from his work.

Bill Hader [94:17]: "That was the best experience I've had in my career doing that show... one of those great experiences."

The conversation encapsulates Hader's journey through the highs and lows of his career, his resilience in the face of challenges, and his commitment to personal growth and meaningful storytelling.

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Notable Quotes

• Bill Hader [00:49]: "Welcome back to where everybody knows your name..."
• Bill Hader [04:17]: "It's the death laugh."
• Ted Danson [13:47]: "You're one of my favorite kind of performers..."
• Bill Hader [23:05]: "I was very lucky because of Seth Meyers..."
• Bill Hader [55:49]: "We decided early on the first scene should not be funny..."
• Bill Hader [71:58]: "It takes me a while. I mean..."

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Final Thoughts

This episode offers an intimate glimpse into Bill Hader's professional journey and personal life, highlighting his ability to navigate the demanding world of entertainment with humor, resilience, and introspection. Listeners gain valuable insights into the creative process behind "Barry," the challenges of live performance, and the importance of maintaining personal well-being amidst fame.

Transcript

[Bill Hader]

The kind of burgers you get today tells you a lot about yourself. You're either someone who settles for sad, same old, same old burgers, or you're Edit Carl's Jr. Obsessed with a tangy OG Western bacon cheeseburger, demanding a house made guacamole, loaded guac bacon fired up for the insanely hot El Diablo, or craving a classic Charbold famous star. Give in to your flavored cravings. Do your mouth to Carl's junior Big burger, good burger. You'd walk by and someone go, hey, they're not using you. Yeah. Hey, they're not using you. Yeah. You're not. You're not doing it. Yeah. You're not really working on the show.

[Ted Danson]

Welcome back to where everybody knows your name. I just spent an amazing hour, hour and a half with Bill Hader and my cheeks, it's embarrassing. My cheeks are aching. I have been laughing so hard. He was a cast member on SNL for eight years where he became beloved among fans for his fantastic character work, especially the hilarious Stefan. I can't believe we didn't actually talk about him, as you'll see coming up. But that made me laugh so hard. My wife and I, huge fans. More recently, he's taken a dramatic turn as the creator, writer, and star of the dark comedy Barry on hbo, which, if you haven't seen, you must. Ladies and gentlemen, the amazing, talented Bill Hader. Obviously, you know, preparing to talk with you. I was youtubing like crazy all of your, like a lot of your interviews and podcasts with really funny people. And it was like, you know, a gunfight at OK Corral with funny bullets. It was whizzing. You guys were so fast. I thought, fuck, how am I going to keep up? Then I did a podcast where you were. Listened to a podcast where you were talking about anxiety attacks. And I went a kindred speaker. Yes, yes, we can talk.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God. He knows what it's like. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. No, that's been around. I mean, but now, yeah, I've talked about that. Where initially it's funny. I've talked about that on different podcasts and things. And yeah, there would be moments where I'm like, oh, man, am I going to be known as the anxiety guy? And whatever. But I just know, I don't know how you were, but I just remember Saturday Night Live feeling that way. And then I would Google stuff and I could never find a thing that I related to, you know, where I was like, that's not, you know, it was either, like, not enough, or it was, like, really intense. And I was like, well, it's not that bad, but, yeah, and there's something to relate to. So I have, like, a mixed feeling sometimes. I'm like, yeah, I don't want to be known. You know, I've talked about a lot. But then someone will come up to me. Especially when it's someone who's like, oh, my kid, you know, heard your thing and that was really helpful and they really appreciate it and. But then it's funny because there's the people I'm around. I don't know about you, but I hide it with, like, laughing and being silly sometimes. It's not, you know, where people are like, you know, you're just, like, nervous wreck and sweating and stuff.

[Ted Danson]

That's inside.

[Bill Hader]

That's inside. But outside, I'm actually being overly. I will say, most of the time, you see me, like, laughing really hard and giggling on something. It's like nerves. It's like, just make. It's like trying. It's like opening a. You know, shaking a Pepsi bottle and going. It's like getting all that out of your system and being like, you know. And people go, you have such a great laugh. And I'm like, oh, I'm. I'm dying inside. I wanna be home so bad.

[Ted Danson]

It's the death laugh.

[Bill Hader]

It's the death laugh. Yeah. Where I'm like, if I'm on a talk show from a huge audience and I feel like it's bombing or you're not connecting with the host or something. Yeah. If you see me going like, ha, ha. Like, laughing really hard inside, I'm like, this isn't going well at all. Oh, my God, I'm bored.

[Ted Danson]

You know, I leap around a lot, so forgive me. But when you say people aren't laughing or something, I have to bring up Will Forte.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, my God.

[Ted Danson]

Will. And my wife Mary did Last man on Earth. You know that he created Drag, wrote all of that. So we called him on our walk today saying, hey, give me something, Bill. And he said, yeah, ask him about.

[Bill Hader]

The fart face sketch.

[Ted Danson]

You're starting to laugh now.

[Bill Hader]

No, this is actually genuine laughter. No fart face. So Forte and I would do these characters called Jerry and Carl. And it was based on Forte doing a voice at an after party where he thought he was going to get fired over the summer. He didn't think he was going to come back to the show because he didn't have a good year. And he came up to me and go, I can't get fired this summer, Bill. I can't get fired this summer, Bill. You know, and. And then that became these two kind of grizzled businessmen. And so we were writing one of them. And when you wrote with Will, you kind of. I mean, I wasn't really much of a sketch writer. I kind of would sit back and someone else would be writing, and I would kind of, like, chime in every once in a while. But Will was his own kind of, you know, amazing mind that I just don't know. He's just one of those people. It's so original, and it's like he doesn't even know where it comes from, but.

[Ted Danson]

And he's very OCD about it.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Very OCD specific. Yes, yes. You know, he would do a thing before, you know, about to go on air, and it's five, four, or three, and he would, you know, touch people. And, you know, so he. So most times when you would write a sketch, you would go, oh, maybe. You know, and you just talk it out. And you would do bullet points in him. But with him, you go very linear. So is it a office? Or maybe it's an outer office? Or maybe. What if it's. We're in a car and then we go into the office? Well, that's two sets, so we can't do that. So what if it's. The desk is here, and I'd be like, I don't fucking care. You know, two in the morning. Two in the morning. Get me jet paid. You know, I get really impatient. So. But Fart Face was those two guys, and it was Josh Brolin hosting. And it was about those two guys calling Josh Brolin's character, who. I think his name was Jim Deaver, saying, we think you're a fart face and Jim Deaver in a very serious. And it's played almost like it's very straight. It's like, you know, Arthur Miller or something. But he would go, I'm not a fart face. I'm a. I'm a very happy face. I'm a happy man. And I. And he starts crying. And then we say, we're gonna tell everybody you cried in our office. I was like. And so we did it at dress rehearsal. And this happened to be the show that Sarah Palin came to, and it was at that time the highest rated SNL episode in the history of the show. And we did a thing called Fart Face. We did it at dress. It played absolute silence.

[Ted Danson]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

I could hear my footfalls. It was one of Those things where. That awful feeling where you go and you can hear it. It's like you could hear yourself breathing on the stage. Cause it's just bombing so bad. And so we left, and we were like, well, that's never happening, you know? And Lorne Michaels, I don't know why, took a real shine to it. And we went into the meeting, and he had somehow moved it up. And the order was right after Update. And he had the note, which we all remember, which he goes, there's. I had a boom shadow in fart phase when he's giving notes to Boom shadow when fart phase. And so then we went out to do it. And the Weekend Update was Sarah Palin rapping with Amy Poehler. And the audience was so hot, they were going out of their minds. And me and Brawl and Amber dressed as these characters, knowing this is gonna bomb horribly. Like, we're about every. The whole show up to this point has been just fireworks.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And we know we're gonna blow it. And I remember we went there and we were sitting there looking at the audience before we went up. And Josh. It was like the end of the Wild Bunch, you know, like, we're gonna die. And then Josh Brolin just turned to us and goes, well, fellas, let's shut these fuckers up.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, that's great. I love it.

[Bill Hader]

And we went out there and it died.

[Ted Danson]

This is your friend Will Forte.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Will Fort tell this story.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, Will. Because I think he's very proud of it. That's why I love Will. Because I would go, oh, that didn't get a laugh. Whatever. But for Will, it was like, did I like it that I appreciate it. He did a sketch that we talk about constantly called Potato Chip. If you look it up, it's Blake Lively, him and Jason Sudeikis about a guy trying to be an astronaut. And it's called Potato Chip. And it's a sketch that we still talk about. I don't know where it came from. I don't know where the character came from. I don't know where the idea came from. And the audience was, like, befuddled. And Will just. He didn't care. He just would come off stage and go, I thought that went great. You know, And I would be like, well, no, I didn't get a laugh. And, you know, my anxieties. And he was like, no, that went. You know, for him, it went great. And that was a great lesson, you know.

[Ted Danson]

Did you go to Seth Meyer's wedding?

[Bill Hader]

I did. Where he stood up and did What.

[Ted Danson]

What is that character? But he's like this evil.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, he looks like Paul Williams. I think his name is Hamilton or somebody. But he looks like Paul Williams the singer. And he's very right wing. Yeah, yeah, Like a neo Nazi, basically. And he holds the microphone like this. And he. And he gave. And in this. In the sketches, he was always giving a speech. And so he stood up at Fred's. At Seth's wedding and wedding speech.

[Ted Danson]

The bride side of the family was not amused.

[Bill Hader]

Not at all. Because he described her as. He goes, I met Alexi. Beautiful face, coltish legs, perfect tits. And everybody was like, Jesus. But we all were like this. Well, you can hear on the audio, I'm dying laughing.

[Ted Danson]

Right, right.

[Bill Hader]

Because I'm like, this dude does not care. But you can feel everybody going like, oh, my God. But the thing I remember he said. He said, you guys will. He ended his speech by saying, you will. I will. I will be there when Alexei gives birth to what will most undoubtedly be a homosexual baby. And he goes, and I will be in the corner brimming with I told you so. And the audience was just this very nice wedding in brother's vineyard. And he stood up and did it. And I was just. I mean, it was kind of the laugh where I was terrified, so I was like. But it was. Yeah, just ballsy. You know, it really is just. You just feel with him is to please himself. And I have to also mention John Solomon, his co writer. John is. Who now works on. I think you should leave and, you know, does MacGruber and all those things, and just brilliant. Brilliant guy.

[Ted Danson]

Brilliant guy. I agree.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. But. But ballsy. You know, it's.

[Ted Danson]

It's.

[Bill Hader]

You watch it now. Read the room or. Yeah, or.

[Ted Danson]

He doesn't care about.

[Bill Hader]

There is no room. He's doing it for himself. Yeah. And I. I really admired it, but it is a thing. I'm sure if you watched it now, you go, oh, my God, I can't believe you fucking said that. You know, but, yeah, I mean, he would. He was. Yeah, it was very bold.

[Ted Danson]

Let me get over my sycophantish part of the podcast. I have to just say, you are. You're one of my favorite kind of performers or artists or whatever you are. You're sketch comedy. I've never seen anything like it. And Will Forte said the same thing about you. There's not a glimmer of. Of I'm being funny or. I know. This is really good. There's nothing. You are so embedded in that character that is Outrageously funny and amazing. And then you turn around and you do Barry. I think I saw it at Trainwreck first. It was like, oh, fuck, you're a really good actor.

[Bill Hader]

Thank you very much.

[Ted Danson]

Really, really good actor. Then you discover. Wait a minute, he's an amazing director. And that's such different parts of a creative brain. I'm in awe of you. Take a moment and compliment me so I can relax. Anyway, anything, doesn't matter.

[Bill Hader]

The Onion field, first film, 40 years ago. That'll do.

[Ted Danson]

That'll do.

[Bill Hader]

No, man, that's huge. I can't believe, though. Thank you very much.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, you are.

[Bill Hader]

It means a lot coming from you.

[Ted Danson]

So can I. Let's back up. So, school not exactly your thing?

[Bill Hader]

No, I was not very.

[Ted Danson]

You're not an academic, but you were a reader?

[Bill Hader]

I did, yeah. I do read a lot. Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

And then you became several things. But you were also a PA for a while, right? That was your entree into the business.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ted Danson]

But you were trying to be an actor at that point as well.

[Bill Hader]

Not really, no. I had. I came out in LA to be a filmmaker. That was always the direct. I mean, that was always the thing. So my idols were always filmmakers. And then.

[Ted Danson]

Wait, is this. Sorry, forgive me. This is before snl.

[Bill Hader]

Before snl, yeah. And then what happened?

[Ted Danson]

Ben wanted to be. You always knew you wanted to be a director.

[Bill Hader]

Always wanted to be a director. And then, you know what happens when you come out here? I was doing, you know, set jobs and I worked an assistant editor and a post production PA and driving around film elements all over town and, you know, all these things. And I'm so jealous of these people now that you can just email cuts or you can email links of cuts. I would be like, back in my day, I had to take a VHS tape and drive to some, you know, farm out in the middle of nowhere and give it to some, you know, hermit director. But back in my day.

[Ted Danson]

Pharmacy. What is that again?

[Bill Hader]

You have to come to the screening room. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, but so then, yeah, what happened was I had a friend named Eric Filipkowski who was a PA with. And he goes, hey, come to Second City LA and watch my. My Level 5 show. Which was his final, final show, you know, if you go through the conservatory program. And I went, and I saw these people my age doing kind of like improv and sketch comedy. And I went, well, I haven't done anything really creative the whole six years I've been here so far, so I should do. I should just do something so I started taking those classes. And that's a thing.

[Ted Danson]

Not aiming to be an actor, still.

[Bill Hader]

Wanting to be a filmmaker. Yeah. I was like, oh, this will help me as a filmmaker. Maybe talk to actors and work with actors. And then it was a thing that's really important was I did a. I auditioned to get in the conservatory program, and it was this awful thing where right next to the improv on Melrose, there's that. That's where the Second City Theater was. I don't know what it is now, but there's that parking lot there, and right next to where Fred Siegel used to be now. And we all had to come out, out after we auditioned, and then the director would. Standing on the other side of the parking lot, and you had to each come over there. And he, in front of everybody, would tell you whether you got it or not. Oh, wow. If you got in or not. And so we all sat there nervously. You know, at the time I smoked, and we were like, smoking, going, jesus Christ. And you'd see someone go over and come back a little happy, and you see someone slump away, and you're like, oh, God, this is awful. And he called me over and he just went, you're really good at this. And that was the first time anybody had told me I was good at something.

[Ted Danson]

Wow.

[Bill Hader]

And maybe ever. And I went, oh. And after that, just that, him saying that, I was just kind of walking on air for a bit. And so that kind of changed it for a bit, where I just became really focused on improv and sketch comedy and was like, okay. And then in that, I can. We can make short films. And I could still make, you know, direct stuff and.

[Ted Danson]

Did you make short films?

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, they weren't very good, but I tried to. But I was in a group with the Matt Offerman, who, you know, his brother's Nick Offerman. And so we were in this group together, and Megan Mullally, because she's married to Nick.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Came and saw us and afterwards said, I'm going to tell Lorne Michaels about you. And, you know, okay, sure, right. And then, yeah, I was working at Iron Chef America as an assistant editor and got a phone call from Lindsey Schuchas, who's now the head of the talent department. And she was just an assistant. She went, hi, my name is Lindsay, I work for Lorne Michaels. And he liked to meet you.

[Ted Danson]

You're in la, he's in New York.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. And I had no manager, agent, nothing. And I went, what? And flew out there and met him, and I Was terrified. And Molly Shannon was super nice because Megan Mullally had Molly Shannon call me. And Molly Shannon, she goes, I know you don't know me, but I just wanted to say good luck. And don't try to be funny. Just like, he hates that. Don't try to be funny. Don't go in there and start doing your audition. Just go in and talk to him. And that was a lifesaver, because I didn't know what to do. And, you know, managers, and you talk to people and they're like, well, you got to go in there and you got to sell yourself, you know, so go in big, you know? But I just. Yeah, just talk to him and. And it was wild. I just. You can see me. I think it's Topher Grace hosting snl. And you can see me in the background. I cut to the audience, you know, during the monologue, and you can see me leaning against, you know, with Mike Shoemaker. That was when I was visiting before.

[Ted Danson]

Or.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, before I'm on the show, just kind of, like, looking at it all going like, whoa, this is snl. This is so crazy. You know? And. Yeah, and then. And then I auditioned a bunch, and then I did my final audition. I've told this story before, but I got in the elevator at 30 Rock for my final audition, and I was, like, really nervous. And the guy I got in the elevator with, he had a bunch of props. And I was like, oh, shit. I didn't bring props to the audition. I didn't know. That's so smart. I should have brought props. And that was Andy Samberg. And Andy said that he was looking at me going, dude, that guy doesn't need props. I'm so lame that I brought all these props. And so we both were just silently sizing each other up. And that was how we met. Yeah. And he was like. He looked like he was running away, like the. You know, the stag, you know, with the little. Like, he just had all these things on his back, and he was just staring at me, staring at him, going, like, all right, this is the competition, you know? And so, yeah, it was cool.

[Ted Danson]

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[Bill Hader]

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[Ted Danson]

I, I've known a few, few people fairly well from Saturday Night Live. Some of them, the experience beat them up. I mean, valuable so appreciated being there. But the competitive nature of getting your material on. Some people thrived, some people didn't necessarily.

[Bill Hader]

That's true. I, I feel like I was very lucky because of Seth Meyers. I always give and Tina Fey was the head writer when I showed up. And then Seth Meyers took over and both of them and people like Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph and these were like the seniors when I showed up.

[Ted Danson]

Amazing.

[Bill Hader]

Chris Parnell, Rachel Dratch, Daryl Hammond. I mean all these amazing people. And he, I remember the attitude was, was the DNA of the places, you know, this place is competitive but we don't have to be competitive, you know, so it's just a given that your thing's going to get on this week or not get on this week and everybody goes through it. So I would sit and see someone like Amy Poehler, who I really admired.

[Ted Danson]

Me too.

[Bill Hader]

Not get her thing on. Like her sketch would get cut and see her a little depressed, you know, and, and oh, okay. So that's just the name of the game here, you know, it's, I don't know, playing sports or something. You have good days and bad days, you know. And I went, oh, okay. And I learned really quick that everybody. I was very lucky, like, I said that there was no, like, political laughter as a table read on Wednesday. Meaning, like, certain people pulling for someone else and all this. It was. If it was funny, everybody laughed and you would also feel it. I remember I had a period where I wasn't getting anything on. And I wonder if people notice. I don't think anybody notices. And then Seth Meyers helped me out and goes, you got that Italian talk show host character. Why don't you come in and let's write it together. We're going to make it a talk show. Let me help you. Cause I came in, I'm like, I'm gonna, you know, I wanna do something like you've never seen on the show before. And it was like nothing was working. So we did this Vinny Vedetchi show. And I did it at the table. I got a ton of laughs. And then after it ended, people applauded and I felt like, ah, everybody noticed that. They're applauding. Cause it's like, Bill needs this. You know what I mean? And I felt so. Yeah, I was very kind and I was so grateful for that. Applause. I remember Paul Appel especially patting me on the back afterwards. And that meant a lot.

[Ted Danson]

So you don't perform unless the material you wrote got on or would you sometimes had you acted on other people's.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, you would always act in other people's stuff. It would just be. If I write, you know, the law of ab, you know, you would. If I brought up the only thing you can control at SNL was, you know, I can write at least two great, you know, two pieces that I think are funny every week. And then. And then whatever pieces I'm put into as an actor, whether it's a bigger character or the second, you know, cop coming through the door or whatever, I just, you know, commit to those the best they can. And that's it. That's all you can really control. Everything else is completely out of your control. And so once you kind of give that up, then the show became fun. It was just the live aspect TV thing for me. I never got used to that was always very hard for me. I don't know.

[Ted Danson]

I hosted once in the 80s, and I mean, Cheers was the front of a live audience and there was adrenaline and it was exciting and you had some nerves and everything, but there's nothing like Saturday Night Live nerves. It is because you're slightly under rehearsed.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Did you feel that way? Did you feel Confident. When it was that before air energy of like, all right, here we go. We're going on. It's 11:30.

[Ted Danson]

Everything except the monologue. Because the monologue. Unless you. I think that's changed over the years. I think people who have their own voice, comedians or stand up or actors or whatever, who have their own voice and participate in the monologue. I didn't see my monologue until Friday.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Maybe Saturday morning. Actually, I think it was Saturday morning. And mine happened to be Mike Myers. It was his first time on camera.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, wow.

[Ted Danson]

And the bit was. For my monologue was there were two worlds, simultaneous worlds going on. There was a French comedian standing up and doing what I was doing for a French snl. And there was me standing up and Mike was hysterical. We'd go back and forth, and at the end, in a very kind of French over the top comedy, he wet his pants.

[Bill Hader]

Hugely.

[Ted Danson]

So that was my standup, basically. Playing second fiddle. Rightfully so, but nevertheless, second fiddle to Mike Myers and wetting my pants. But at one of the skits, there were Nora Jones. I think it was Nora Jones. Anyway, we're an everyday couple coming home from work, having everyday conversation, except the room is literally filled with 25 pigs on the stage, of which, you know, not what's gonna happen.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. And there were actual pigs that they brought in.

[Ted Danson]

Actual pigs that were not there for rehearsal. They came in.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ted Danson]

Somebody asked me at the end of the show, how did you like it? And it was like, I lived.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

It was the most accurate way I could make. I lived.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. I got through it, you know, you always. Yeah. Last time I hosted, they were putting me in makeup for the last sketch. And I'm trying to run down what I'm supposed to do because I am a bit dyslexic or I'm not very good at cold reading. You know, I'm a slow reader. And so reading the cards was always something that was very. I would read my script over and over, and then if there was any rewrites before air, I would hound the writer going, I need those rewrites right now. I need them right now.

[Ted Danson]

And there are. All the time.

[Bill Hader]

Constantly. Constantly. And then sometimes they wouldn't get him to you till. Or they wouldn't get them to you at all. I remember one time I was in a sketch and I was a game. I was. It was a game show. And at dress rehearsal, I was a guy from Boston, you know, and I was like, I think that was. And I was a guy from Boston. And then on air, we're getting into my quick change and they give me a cowboy outfit and I go, what is this? And they go, oh, they changed it to your guy from Texas. I go, okay. So I get out there, I go, how y'all doing? And they go, but they hadn't rewritten the script. So I go, where are you from? I'm from Boston, Massachusetts.

[Ted Danson]

Which is kind of funny.

[Bill Hader]

Confused. Confused. I was like, okay. And I was. Thankfully, I only had like three lines in the thing, but I was like, you know, what happened? And then the writer came up and I'm so sorry, I forgot to put the changes in. And I fucked up. And you know, but. But yeah, yeah, I survived. But anyway, they were putting me in quick changes for that, and I was getting ready and stuff, right? And last time I hosted, and they came up and they went, oh, we don't have time for this sketch. We're going to just do a pre tape. And that's the end of the show. And I remember Jody Mancuso was doing my hair, who works in the hair department. Amazing, legendary Jody Mancuso. And she turned to me and she went, hey, you're done. Like that. And it was like, I could have cried. I was like, oh, thank God you're done. Yeah, done for the. Like, I'm. We're. The show's done. Like hosting the show. I had come back to host and it was like, hey, the show's done.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And so all that worry, all that, like, what's my blocking? What are my lines? Everything was like, hey, you're done. And I was like, I just kind of melted. And I just remember just like doing good nights, being like, thank you, everybody. Thanks, Jon Hamm for coming. You know, but all the energy. I survived. It was the exact feeling.

[Ted Danson]

It is amazing about amount of nerves that flow through your body when you step out to do something live.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. When the red light comes on, I still, like, anytime I'm at some live event and they go, we're going live. And 10, nine. I just. My whole body tenses up when I hear.

[Ted Danson]

Because the. On video, it's always 5, 4, 3. They don't do two 1. Because I did a soap opera in which I was horrible for like nine months in New York. And it was always 5, 4, 3, 2. And it was. I never got past in the nine months I was on Panic.

[Bill Hader]

And that was live.

[Ted Danson]

It was all but live. Meaning if you had a half hour show, you had 35 minutes of that huge computer at NBC back then 70s that you could have your, you know, soap opera stored so you couldn't have a set fell down, maybe you would start again, right? So there it was in all.

[Bill Hader]

But you had to know all your. There was no cue cards or anything.

[Ted Danson]

There were cue cards.

[Bill Hader]

There were cue cards.

[Ted Danson]

There were cute. Well, the one I was on had a. They had scrolls, handheld scrolls that some guy. There'd be three union guys in the perimeter and you see, you'd be doing fine. And you didn't really want to look at the scroll because I have trouble reading too. I become pedantic if I'm trying to read a cue card or something. So you'd be fine. And then you'd see one of the guys in your peripheral vision pick up their little scroll machine and shake it and look at it and you go, I'm Fox. Oh, my God. Please, please, please. I was hired for this show to be the kind of the town Coxman, coming on to every person and smooth and all of these things. And the night before, I had my first full fledged panic attack. And I called this therapist that we were all. We had all left Carnegie Tech and went to New York and lived kind of communally almost. And we had all the same therapists, and it was like crazy. Anyway, I called him and he said. And I said, I'm not. I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. You know, this is too much. And he said, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't cut off your nose. You want to do this, you know, take a Valium. So I took a Valium. And I didn't realize Valiums in me do not get along. And I, you know, barely slept, but I had the Valium and it was still in my system. And I go down to 30 Rock or wherever it is, and I'm in the bowels of the building looking for where I'm supposed to go. And somebody recognizes me from something, I don't know, a commercial, and goes, hey, hey, aren't you. And I started to run. Made no sense, no sense whatsoever. And I got lost in the bowels of NBC. The person didn't chase me. I was just running. Then I get up and I'm doing this scene where I'm in a restaurant coming on to this woman.

[Bill Hader]

And you're supposed to be smooth, very smooth.

[Ted Danson]

This is my first day. She's been on the show for like two years.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, no.

[Ted Danson]

And it was effortless for her. And I was Broadway news sweat. I was sheets of sweat. And the Producer looked at her and went, nah, nah, we'll make him the town sleaze. He'll turn in all his friends to the mafia. That's who he is.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, let's get this guy. Oh, so five, four, three, two, Anytime you. I. They were nice to me. I did one thing. Whereas Elliot Spitzer in the cold open, and it was just me by myself. Kristen Wiig stood behind me, but she had no lines. And it was Elliot Spitzer when he got in a lot of trouble.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And I read that maybe a hundred times, tried to figure out. And Jim Downey had written it. And Jim Downey was famous writer, snl, been there forever. And very specific how he wanted things. You know, you go up on this and down on this, and this is to yourself. And this is it, you know, oh, wow. And this comes out commanding. And this. Now you're kind of hedging. Now you're, you know, creative impulse. And you're going. So I'm trying to remember. And then Chris Kelly, who was our stage manager when it was for that live. This isn't even talking about. Makes me anxious. But the live show, and you start it. So Jenna, the stage manager. All right, Bill, please come to the. We're about two minutes, one minute to air. Bill, please come out, Bill. And you go out and you stand there, and I'm always in the audience kind of politely applaud. The show's about to start, and I'm, like, just about to die. And Chris Kelly would always go, you know, 10 seconds, five seconds. And then he would go. And he would, as a joke, go, two seconds, like, scared, you know, and then it began. So then I go, hello, I'm Elliot Spitzer. And I start the thing. Well, Jim Downey was so keyed up about it. He was pacing right underneath the cue card.

[Ted Danson]

Oh. Oh, God.

[Bill Hader]

He's pacing, looking at the cue card, looking at me, and he's pacing back and forth. So I'm trying to stay in character, but I'm going, what? What's going on? And then everything. If it got a laugh, he would go, I know that. But if it didn't work, you go, and I'm trying to stay in character, but I'm like, get him out of my eye line. Because it's just like this thing. And then just seeing him go. And then afterwards, he was like, that was good. I like that. That was very good, Very good. And I got the flu after that. I was so keyed up, couldn't sleep for three days beforehand. And then Steve Higgins after that went, we'll put you out there with somebody else for a cold open. If we do another one, it'll be a two hander or three hander, so it won't be all on you because. Yeah, I just was like, I can't. I can't do that again.

[Ted Danson]

My horror on stage came at the Atlantic Theater, you know, in New York.

[Bill Hader]

Atlantic.

[Ted Danson]

And we have a great friend, Neil Pepe, who is the artistic director, and his wife, Mary McCann. We're great buddies. Pardon me. And he asked me to come be part of the 25th celebration of, you know, the creation of the Atlantic Theater. And they had 25 playwrights and they said, Write anything you want. Twenty minutes long can be an opera, it can be anything. Monologue, doesn't matter. And then shifts of five little one acts or whatever you call them, would be one week and then the next would be another bunch of playwrights with another five. So I showed up and you couldn't. You had one or two rehearsals with Neil, and I had a 20 minute monologue.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, my God.

[Ted Danson]

And I worked on it from.

[Bill Hader]

What kind of.

[Ted Danson]

What kind of material was it? Amazing. It wasn't from a play. He sits in front of the audience and tries to. He's kind of middle management guy, uptight, trying to piece together why he's so horrified and he wants to work it out with the audience. And he describes his day. And at the end of the day, it turns out that he is. When he gets home, his basement is literal hell. So when he goes down to feed the dog, there, you know, stalactites and mites and hell. It's hell. And then he comes back up, and by the time he's through walking the dog and jarred, he forgets. So it's over and over again, this, you know, revisiting this. So I sit down now, first off, it's that thing behind the curtain. And the lights go down. And I literally have to say to myself, my car was out back. I could get in. It would be embarrassing. I would be the joke, the brunt of jokes for a long time. But I could run.

[Bill Hader]

I can't get out of this.

[Ted Danson]

I can get out of this. And then, boom, you sit down, you're there. And I had psyched myself out backstage trying to run the lines. You can't run a 20 minute monologue. And. Oh, sorry. And the week before, I saw an actor do this same kind of thing and go up on a line. And I thought somebody would whisper from the stage. No, it was from the back in the lighting booth over the microphone, your line is, you know. So I thought, fuck, I better come up with some classic way of asking for line if that happens. So I was just setting myself up. I sit down and 20 seconds in froze. My brain froze. And in my. That. It was like sticking your finger in a light socket.

[Bill Hader]

It was like, yeah, fuck, what am.

[Ted Danson]

I going to do? God damn it. I can't believe it. My daughter is in. Should I run? Should I cry? Don't cry. You know, it's all this just.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ted Danson]

And I thought, okay, Darcy, who was the name of the stage manager, what happens next? I thought that'd be a classic way of saying line plays. Darcy, 20 seconds in, is just sitting down with her coffee, hasn't even opened the script and goes, you know, scrambles and gives me the line that I had just finished before I forgot my next line. So, you know, so I had to go back and go, actually, it's the next one. Darcy. I was so fried with adrenaline that my poor daughter, who was in the audience had to walk me around in New York City block for over an hour drinking gallons of water.

[Bill Hader]

I was man fucked and adrenaline dump. Just like, yeah, no, I, I. That. You're just telling me that just. Well, guys, my problem is like, yeah, that's my. I still have nightmares about this stuff. I still. Well, anytime I talk to Samberg or any of those guys will be like, I had an SNL nightmare the other day, and he's like, oh, what was yours? You know, it's like, it's always that I'm going up not knowing what's happening or, you know, what the scene is or any of those things. And then. And then I know Melissa. But then, you know, it's kind of the anticipation of a thing is hard. But then when it happens, I weirdly will kind of. Yeah, it's like being hands on deck. You're like a car accident or something where you're like, oh, okay, shit, this is happening. Melissa McCarthy and I, we just. I just saw her a couple months ago, and anytime I see. We always talk about that we were in a sketch together, and somehow I. And it's me interviewing her. She's this basketball coach and I'm interviewing her, and the cue cards got messed up and I. There was a big rewrite between dress and Air, and I had the dress rehearsal cue cards, and she had the Air cue cards.

[Ted Danson]

Oh.

[Bill Hader]

So I'm having. I'm talking to her and I can see on her face, she's like, that's not what I'm looking at. And I see Wally, our cue car guy, going, like, freaking out. So. To your thing. I had to find a way to turn around and look. It's like, so tell me what. You tell me what you were doing into the. You know, trying to make this move look natural. And the guy was going through it. And then you see a guy run up with the right cue cards, and he's like. And that guy's going flying. He goes. And then pointing to the word, you're here, you're here, you're here. You know? And I was like, oh, my God. And that was one where in the moment, you're kind of calm. And then it was like, you know, I got home and was like, oh, my God. That was terrifying. So, yeah, anytime we see each other, she's like, you remember when we were on the show, when that happened?

[Ted Danson]

It is some of the most intensely focused energy that you will ever spend in your life when you're on a stage.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. And Cheers was different. Start, stop.

[Ted Danson]

And they loved it when we fucked up the audience. So there wasn't the fear.

[Bill Hader]

How hard was that for? So I was curious, watching that show and being like, how would you know. How often would you guys get rewrites on the day? Would it be during the shoot where they come up and go. That didn't work.

[Ted Danson]

We would get. Do this and minor, because you had. We had a writing process every day. You'd come in and you'd read, and they'd say, the story isn't right, and you'd get a whole new script the next day, but you were rehearsing, and then a funny person would come in and spruce. You got rewrites every night. But then you would. On shoot day, you would either get them right before dinner and before you show, but it would. They'd be minor by then.

[Bill Hader]

Right.

[Ted Danson]

And then when the audience left, anything that didn't work, they thought they could improve, but it was. It was much more relaxed.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. That's wild, though, that you would have to. Yeah. Just to memorize those things, too. It's, like, pretty. Yeah, I would. It is funny. I became more of a crutch with the cue cards, even though I wasn't. I did a thing on Brooklyn Nine Nine, and I asked for cue cards. And Andy was like, what happened to you, loser? Are you Marlon Brando all of a sudden? And it's like. I was like, well, I thought that was funny. He's like, nobody asked for cue cards. You're the first guy in the history of the show. It's like, oh, Jesus. Oh, man. Oh, God, I feel so bad.

[Ted Danson]

It's a slippery slope, cue cards.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it is. It is a slippery slope. But, you know, Dan Aykroyd was the one. My third show, he saw. He came and he saw that I was acting to the cue card and then turning. And so I would read the cue card and then look at the person. And he was like, no, you gotta, like, act right at the cue card. Just don't look at the people. And then.

[Ted Danson]

Cause the camera's right there as if the cue card is your eye line.

[Bill Hader]

So it seems like you're doing it, that you're acting to somebody, but we're actually looking past each other.

[Ted Danson]

That's hard. That in itself is hard.

[Bill Hader]

And then you do a movie and you're looking at the person and you're trying to connect to them, and it's a different feeling. And Martin Short came in with this character that was very, you know, why, hello. You know, and he knew. And there was. Because I break very easily because I'm very. I get very stressed. And so I'm like about to lose it at any moment. And I'm just a very easy laugh. So I'm sitting there and I'm like, I could just look at these cards and I'll be fine. And the camera guys are putting money on it. Like, we, you know, they're coming up like, hey, I got money on you that you don't break. So you better. You better have my back, man, because I just put a lot of money on you that you're not going to break. And so I'm like, fine. I'm fine at dress. I got this air fine. And fucking Marty Short knows that I'm acting right to the cards. So when the camera was on me, he would just creep into my eyeline and go right back to normal. And it would cut back to me.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Did your friend lose a lot of money?

[Bill Hader]

Well, it was. I paused and I went, well. So it became kind of a thing. Like, he didn't laugh, but he paused. Fred Armisen would get me all the time. Fred Armisen. We did a sketch that was set that he wrote called Short Term Memory Theater, where I was a professor that was like, I'm a doctor. I've worked. Not a doctor that works with people with short term memory. And I'm like, I've worked with them. They're in this play and they will not. I guarantee they will not forget a single line I've worked With their short term memory, they will not forget a single line. I'll be playing the patriarch in the play. And it was kind of a, you know, kitchen sink drama thing. So it's me. It was a newspaper and it's set in the 40s. And then Aidy Bryant's the mom and immediately she. I'm like, good morning, dear, how are you? Good morning, dear, how are you? Like, I'm cueing everybody because they all don't know. Immediately they all forget their lines. And Fred wrote this. So as I'm expecting, even the top of the sketch where I'm explaining the premise of it, I hear Fred laughing. He's in the sketch, but I hear him laughing behind one of the flats because he just finds his thing so funny. And then immediately. So I'm cueing everybody. And then. So before I went on, John Solomon was like, hey, man, you have to tell Fred what to say. Maybe we'll come up with something that wasn't planned, you know, so you have to. He has to say whatever, you know. And I was really excited. I was like, oh, I'm going to get him to laugh.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And he had like a sixth sense or someone told him. So he came on out and you can find this. He comes out in a present day New York Giants jacket. And he comes out and looks at me, which he had never worn in rehearsal. And so I look at him and I'm like. And I go, give me the jacket like this. And he goes, what? What, What? I go, give me the jacket. And he takes the jacket off and he gives it to me and he goes, is the playover. And I completely break. I don't know the play. And he just like. He was like going like this, like just looking at me and. Oh, God, that he really. That one got me really hard. That was. I was so proud of myself. I was like, oh, man, we're going to get him. And when he came out in that jacket, I was like, what is happening?

[C]

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[Ted Danson]

So tell me Jumping ahead because I want to get to Barry. But how. What was the, what was the oh, I'm leaving SNL moment? What was that like?

[Bill Hader]

Well, I was married at the time and had two kids and living in New York. And I was like, you know what? I think it's time to go. And the people I had come out, Andy and Kristen, had left the year before and Fred and I had talked a little bit and he's like, I think I'm going to leave. And so I told Lauren in February of my last season, I finally was like, I like, I'm gonna move to California and.

[Ted Danson]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

And you should wear it for a while, you know, like, you don't. You might not want to leave and. But yeah, so then I left and that was basically it. Yeah. Just having kids and it was just moved out here.

[Ted Danson]

Moved out here with a job waiting or.

[Bill Hader]

I worked at South Park. I was a writer at south park for a little bit. And I did a show called Documentary now with Fred and Seth. And then Trainwreck, I got Trainwreck, went and did that movie. And then I had done another movie called Skeleton Twins. It was a low budget movie and with Kristen and HBO during that time said it was one of those things where I came back to town and they were like, hey, you got announced, you're back in town, so we're setting up meetings with you, with everybody and doing something. HBO was never on my radar. And I was great, meeting with Casey Bloys and the guy Mike Lombardo who was there at the time. And they said, we really. And they were the only people that said, we really liked what you did in this movie. Skeleton Twins, we like to see something like that because a lot of the places I was going, they were like, we want a Stefan thing. We want something more funny sketch and stuff. And I go, we like that. It was funny, but it was also very emotional. And so I told my agents that and they go, we're gonna get you together with this guy, Alec Berg, who we also represent. He's on a show right now that hasn't. I don't even think it's even started shooting yet. It's called Silicon Valley and he's running that, but you guys should meet. And so I met with him.

[Ted Danson]

You didn't know him.

[Bill Hader]

We had met each other, like, in passing, but we didn't really know each other that well. And then we sat at this diner in Culver City and just like talked out ideas. And we had this one idea that we were going to do and then kind of realized, like, oh, this doesn't really work. And then out of almost like, kind of frustration, I said, what if it's a. What if I was a hitman? And he was like, I hate hitman. You know, it's like, because it was John Wick or Reservoir Dogs thing. And he's like, I just. He goes. I remember he said, it's like dog catcher. It's like a thing that doesn't exist, you know? And I'm like, no, there's hitmen that. People do hire hitmen. And we were kind of going back and forth, and then I don't know how, but we're like, what if he takes an acting class? I remember writing that down. Hitman takes acting class. And then had like, four other ideas, and maybe it's this. And then. And I remember very well him going, hitman takes an acting class. That's funny. He goes, that's interesting. Oh, that's interesting. I remember he really caught that, you know, and then. And then we worked on it and we wrote. We wrote that pilot, you know, that's the thing. And I'm sure you relate to these things. It takes so long to get these things to make sense, you know? And so we had the pilot and we wrote it, and we felt really good about it, and we sent it to hbo and they said, half of this works. The acting half works. The hitman part is, like, from movies, you know, it's not set in any reality. We had a scene, I remember that Amy Grav at HBO loves to remind me of that, where there was a barbecue with a bunch of hitmen at a barbecue, which she was like, what the fuck is this? This does not exist. I don't know what this is. And we were like, okay. And then. And again then I was like, well, what if he's a Marine? And then they went, yeah, that. Like, kind of now we're in the real world, you know, so it was just those tent pole moments. But to get from Hitman Takes an Acting Class to Marine was like a year, you know, and then you went, oh, okay, now this works. So now, you know, and then we just kind of built it from there.

[Ted Danson]

Did you know what the tone was going to be?

[Bill Hader]

Not really. I mean, tone is a weird. You know, it was kind of that conversation with HBO kind of got us to the tone, you know, make the hitman real. Real. Okay, he's a Marine. Okay, that's interesting. And then. So then you look into Marines and that world, and I talked to some Marines. And read up on that. And then Alec and I just started building the story. And then I don't think anybody really understood what they had or HBO understood what it was until they saw the pilot and then they went, oh, okay, this is kind of dark and cinematic, but it's like dark kind of drama first that happens to be funny, that has comedy in it. And that was the trick was we decided early on the first scene should not be funny. So you immediately say, like, oh, it's this. And then let the comedy kind of come in through situations and the people instead of something like that. So it was a thing that we always got. The whole show is like, is this really a comedy? And you would go, I don't. I mean, it's just a story. I mean, to us, it was always in the writer's room. I would say, what if there was a Vanity Fair article about this? And let's treat it like that, like it's one of those true crime Vanity Fair articles. Like, it's too crazy, you know, Strangers in Fiction type thing. And let's just treat it like that and see what happens.

[Ted Danson]

Did you. Who directed the pilot?

[Bill Hader]

I did.

[Ted Danson]

And you directed all of the last seasons?

[Bill Hader]

They did, yeah.

[Ted Danson]

How did you know you could do that? Had you proven something to yourself earlier on?

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, I give. You know, I knew I could do it. It was the thing that my dad likes to remind me. I told him once when I was a kid, the only thing I'm good at is I'm funny and I think I could direct a movie. And he said, you told me that when you were like 12.

[Ted Danson]

Wow.

[Bill Hader]

He goes, I'm bad at everything else. But what?

[Ted Danson]

But that's kind of true. It's a different brain, though. I mean, for me. I mean, I am. I will. People ask me, do you want to direct? Nope. Do you want to write? Nope. I don't have that gene. You know, whatever.

[Bill Hader]

I have friends who have those opportunities and then go, I just. I don't think I could do it. And it is true. You have to have a lot of patience. You have to really love it, you.

[Ted Danson]

Know, and you're a storyteller. I'm not. Yeah, you do tell stories, even in little bits. You're telling a story that earlier on, when you're doing Saturday Night Live or something, you are telling little stories in a way.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, to me, it's just. It was. How do you make a thing cinematic? You know, I'm really excited by that. You know, it's not just talking Heads and things. It was like, how do we get this across in, like, kind of an interesting cinematic way? And they were very lucky that we were at HBO that they were into that and were into that tone. And we're like, yeah, try it. Because I. I had tried other things at different places with that similar tone. And they went, this will never be funny. People won't find this funny. And then, you know, Alec Berg likes to always say, it's like he and I are next to a piano and we're just hitting the keys and just trying to find the right key and, oh, this is good. This one's good. But, yeah, you know, and then, you know, casting it is such a big deal, like casting Henry and Sarah Goldberg, who's amazing, and Anthony Kerrigan and Steven Root is one of my favorite actors.

[Ted Danson]

He's good. Nope. It doesn't matter where he is. What he's.

[Bill Hader]

You worked with Stephen.

[Ted Danson]

No, but I've admired him forever.

[Bill Hader]

He's just one of those guys where you just go. You give him a little note.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And it's like, wow. And then you don't know where it comes from because he's a very sweet guy, but you just go, I don't know where that came from. It's really amazing.

[Ted Danson]

Well, all of you guys were. What I love watching is when I'm totally surprised. That's what makes you giggle and laugh when you're watching anything dramatic. Whatever, for me is, wow. Did not see that coming.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, well, that. I mean, those. It was a. It was the best experience I've had in my career doing that show. I mean, it was, you know, it was just one of those things where everybody behind the scenes and in front of the camp, we all, like, just clicked. And, you know, it was just one of those great experiences.

[Ted Danson]

Where'd you shoot? All around la.

[Bill Hader]

And then we shot a bunch of stuff in Big Bear. Henry Winkler's character has a cabin in Big Bear. So we'd have to go shoot up there. And that was one of those things I could tell Aida Rogers, our producer. I would go in and I'd be like, hey, we're. I would walk out of the riders room, like, hey, we just wrote a scene that's at the cabin in Big Bear. And she'd be like, you're killing me. Can we build it on stage? And I was like, no, no. But this guy, Gavin Kleintop and Wade Allen and Carl Hersey and Pauloid Dobro, they were our two DPs. And then Alec Berg and my ex Wife, Maggie Carey is a great director. She directed an episode and did she.

[Ted Danson]

Direct someone with Will Forte?

[Bill Hader]

I think she did.

[Ted Danson]

Mary knows her.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. And then, you know, you worked with my old nanny, Darcy Cardin.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Hader]

Used to be my nanny.

[Ted Danson]

I think she told me that. Oh, God, I love her.

[Bill Hader]

Darcy was. And she was also married, so she was our nanny, and she was. When we lived in New York, and our oldest daughter, Hannah was a baby. And I remember Maggie coming in and going, hey, I met this really cool girl at a ucb, and she's gonna be the nanny. And her husband's really nice, Jason. And they came in and they were like, practically, you know, lived with us. I mean, it was so great. And then I just watched her. I remember her doing, like, these bus. Funny bus tours in New York where she would be like, all right, everybody, we're going to. You know, she was doing every job she did.

[Ted Danson]

Good Place at the same time as Barry. And something else, too, I think. Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

League of Their Own. Yeah, she kind of blew up. It was one of those things that was great and awful for me because I was so proud of her and so happy for her. But then on the other end, we're like, shit. We're having to base the whole schedule around Darcy's availability because everybody wants to work with her right now. And it was. But we were just. I'm still just so thrilled. And just what you guys did on that show was amazing. And I just was like, I can't believe there she is. And my kids getting to see that, that was the coolest thing, was she would come to one of my daughter's dance performances, and people. That's Janice. And they would. All these kids would run over to her to get pictures. And, you know, my daughter's very like, you know, yeah, that's my nanny. That's my nanny. My nanny's Janice. And I was like, how about your dad's Barry? It's like, no one watches that here. Dad, we're in elementary school. Come on. That's not a comedy.

[Ted Danson]

Our kids would never come watch us work unless somebody, you know, somebody cool was on.

[Bill Hader]

Really?

[Ted Danson]

Oh, yeah, we'll come. We'll come.

[Bill Hader]

Will they watch any. Do they get embarrassed, your kids, when they see you show up in something, or do they go, my kids have done that where they didn't know I was in something. And then I especially like an animated movie. I remember taking my daughter to see Finding Dory, and she heard my voice at the beginning, and she stood up and just Walked out.

[Ted Danson]

You just broke the fourth wall for me.

[Bill Hader]

I had to walk after. I go, what's wrong? What's wrong? And she goes, are you in the. She had a little lateral lift. Are you in the whole thing? No, that's the only scene I'm in. He's like, you swear you're not in the rhythm thing? I was like. She's like, all right. And she came back in super pissed off with little cat ear things on. And then we watch the rest of the movie. But I get it. If my dad showed up in the Millennium Falcon, I'd be petrified. Like, hey, guys. Bill Senior. Hi, Chewie. Bill Senior. That'd be terrible. That sucks.

[Ted Danson]

I don't know if you know mary's son, Charlie McDowell.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, I know Charlie.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, he's amazing.

[Bill Hader]

Very sweet guy.

[Ted Danson]

In high school, he and his buddies were in his room watching tv, definitely channel surfing, trying to find something probably they weren't supposed to watch or whatever. And Charlie leaves the room, and his friend discovers. I don't know where. What movie channel. It was a film that Mary made that she won the Academy Award for. Melvin Howard.

[Bill Hader]

Great movie.

[Ted Danson]

And she does this tap dance, and she gets mad at the place where this died that she's working in, and she rips off all of her clothes, throws them, and walks off the stage. And that scene came on just in my. In Charlie's friend's defense, he had just gotten to that scene flipping channels. Charlie walks in, and as far as he's concerned, you know, his friend is misbehaving to his naked mother and is like, you son of a bitch.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, you're disgusting. Yeah, I don't. Yeah. Yeah, That's. That's. That's the nightmare, you know, is, you know, you make all this stuff, and the only thing my kids have ever been interested in seeing is I was in it, too. I was in the it movie. And they've been to different sleepovers, and that's like a movie kids put on at sleepovers. And so my kid did go, I saw you in it. I was like, oh, what'd you think? She's like, first movie was better. I was like, okay, thanks. You know. But, yeah, it's always, you know, it's really. I like it that they don't, you know, I'm their dad. You know, that's the best. Is just like. They don't really give a shit about it.

[Ted Danson]

No.

[Bill Hader]

My favorite. My daughter acts, you know, at school, and she was in. She played Gertrude and Hamlet at her school and.

[Ted Danson]

Holy moly.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. And I was like. And this was very funny. We were walking down the street and this guy saw me and was coming.

[Ted Danson]

He's like, hey, hey, You're.

[Bill Hader]

You're. You're. And my daughter went, gertrude from Hamlet. Yes. Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

That's great.

[Bill Hader]

That was very funny. But that's what I usually get. You're. You're. I always get you. I told my girlfriend, I'm like, everybody thinks I'm Dwight from the office. And she goes, no, they don't. I go, everybody thinks I'm Dwight from the office. And we were just in London. And they'd be like, oh, my God, Dwight. No way. Oh, my God. Can I get a picture with you? And I'm like, I'm not Dwight from the office, but thank you. And the worst was we were in Seattle and we were hiking and these kids walked by and this guy went.

[Ted Danson]

Dwight, we love you.

[Bill Hader]

And he was wearing a superbad T shirt with me on it.

[Ted Danson]

Oh.

[Bill Hader]

And I was like, I'm on your shirt.

[Ted Danson]

He's like, dwight, we love you.

[Bill Hader]

And she was like, wow, this is crazy. People really think you're. I had so Rainn Wilson. He's done a great. Yeah, people love him.

[Ted Danson]

I had Tony Danza for some reason. Seriously, there's no similarity except the T and the D. But you guys and I. The first time I encountered it was in New York. And I was walking by these construction guys and I'm halfway past them and, hey, Tony. And I naturally. Keep walking. Hey, Tony, what the fuck? You too good for us now? And I got it.

[Bill Hader]

Where's Angel?

[Ted Danson]

For a handful of years, it was so strange. Get me to present. What was the decision to not make any more. Had you told your story with Baron? Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. It felt like the story we had written season. We were in the middle of writing season three when the pandemic happened. And so during lockdown, we asked hbo, can we just write season four? We'll finish three and then we'll write season four over zoom. And we did that. And while we were writing season four, it just kind of felt like. We all felt like it kind of ends. Like, I don't know how you keep this going. I have so much respect for that, you know?

[Ted Danson]

You know that you don't just keep going because it's popular and you're making money. You tell your story and get out.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it was done. And those are my favorite things, you know, so it felt like, oh, this should end, you know? So we did that. And it was sweet, you know, but I Remember shooting, like, you know, Final Week or whatever, and people are like, are you bummed out or you sad? And it was kind of like snl. It's like, oh, no, you move on. You move on. But I'll miss these people. I miss the people working.

[Ted Danson]

Sure.

[Bill Hader]

You're working with. I miss that. But it is like, nah, you gotta, you know, this ends, you know, move on.

[Ted Danson]

Can I ask what you're doing right now?

[Bill Hader]

I'm writing a movie. I'm writing a. I'm trying to write. Writing a horror movie that I would direct, but we'll see what happens, you know.

[Ted Danson]

You're writing it on your own?

[Bill Hader]

No, I write with this guy, Duffy Boudreau, who. Who I grew up with, and then he wrote On Barry and Documentary Now. So. Yeah. So, I mean, that's kind of like. And then other things just. You know how it is. You work on certain things and it feels like, oh, this might happen, and then it won't. And, you know, it's like, I'm. I'm superstitious in that way. But, yeah, just writing. But really, I went to London and Paris last week on a vacation with my girlfriend. It was the first real, real vacation I've taken.

[Ted Danson]

Brilliant actor. Oh, my God.

[Bill Hader]

Ally. Yeah, she's amazing. Yeah, she's amazing. And just like an amazing person. But we had a great time and then. But, yeah, it was.

[Ted Danson]

Was this for the Olympics? Did you go?

[Bill Hader]

No, we missed the Olympics. But while we were there, probably good. Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, that was a zoo.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. But, yes. And. But when we're done, it was like, oh, I haven't done this since 2008. Maybe gone on, like, a vacation that didn't have kids, you know, and it was just. Just. And you weren't working. It wasn't like you weren't doing press. You're not doing press. You're not like, oh, well, this weekend maybe we can hop out and go to that museum or whatever. It was like, oh, no, this is all. And so that's been really great, you know, and seeing my kids, you know, like that doing Barry was, you know, it was 24 7. You know, I was. It's hard. And I'm. And that's hard on the people that love you and care about you is. You're not fully present, you know, so that's.

[Ted Danson]

And it is a distraction from who you are.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

The interior. For real. Who you are. I don't care how philosophically bright, wise, enlightened you are. I think everybody falls into the trap of working just that you're busy and consumed with something creative, which is wonderful, but the celebrity, everything about it is distracting. I find Mary accused me of whenever I don't work for, as she says, four or five days, you know, oh, you've been out of work a week.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, poor Ted.

[Ted Danson]

That. I get kind of lightheaded and disoriented, and who the fuck am I? And it's true.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, I do.

[Ted Danson]

I do identify as Ted who works.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. And it's hard. It's good to. Yeah. I mean, that's a thing I've been working on is like, not just my kids and. And everybody in my life. It was just since 2000. Geez. When we started Barry 2017, it's just been, you know, I mean, that's all I can think about, you know, so.

[Ted Danson]

Which is.

[Bill Hader]

You're there, you're at the place, you're at, like, the swim meet, you're at the volleyball game, but your brain's going, like, what if that. I don't think that works anymore. And then I'm texting a writer going like, hey, I think the thing we worked on yesterday doesn't work. You know? And, you know, I feel bad for Alec and the people in the writers room because my brain just. I just couldn't let it go, you know, I was just, like, constantly thinking about it. So it was this interesting thing. When the final episode aired, I just didn't know what to do with myself. And I had a Hiro Murai who's brilliant. He directs Atlanta and Mr. And Mrs. Smith and stuff. And he said after Atlanta, he's like, yeah, it's going to be. It's weird. You know, he's like, be ready. It's weird.

[Ted Danson]

How do you ground yourself? How do you get back to zero or look at yourself?

[Bill Hader]

It takes me a while. I mean. I mean, oh, man. I'm like, if I was in my 20s and met me, I'd be like, this dude's so lame. You know, because it's like.

[Ted Danson]

What do you mean?

[Bill Hader]

Oh, because I meditate. I, you know, eat. Like, trying to, like, exercise.

[Ted Danson]

You're not from the east coast of the west coast.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah. You have to feel like, okay, you meditate. You know, just saying, oh, how. How's grounding yourself over there, Bill? You know, it's like, but, yeah, vegans eat again. Oh, okay. No, you only fish now. All right. But it's. But yeah. I mean, yeah, meditation has really helped me, but just getting into some sort of a routine and also being curious again, you know? That was a thing of reading and having a. And it's okay to kind of have a schedule for the day that. Where you set aside time to. That's been the biggest thing for me, is putting my phone away. That was a huge thing, you know, putting all these things away and focusing with the people I'm with. And I think when I was on the show, I lost a real curiosity. I was so focused on the show. But then it's like you ask people questions, you meet people, you know, and my kids and, you know, Allie and Maggie, my ex wife. Like, all these people have been really great in that way of showing me that. So it's really just hanging out with people and. And like listening.

[Ted Danson]

Hate that.

[Bill Hader]

Hate that. Yeah. Oh, my God. No, but it is. It is. But yeah, I think, you know, all that meditation, exercise, eating well. But also just. Yeah, I like. I like reading, you know, or you find a filmmaker that you've never heard of, or you watch a film. Like, I watched this film, I've always liked this Japanese movie called Cure. It's a horror movie. And so I find that director and I'm gonna, like, check out his other movies. And then I just. And that's so invigorating and really, you know, makes you excited about what you do for a living.

[Ted Danson]

Not that you have to choose, but if you had to choose, would you direct overact, or act over direct? Or does it.

[Bill Hader]

I don't know. It's all kind of one weird. I know it sounds like a play.

[Ted Danson]

In this movie you're writing.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah. But it's all like one weird job to me. It's all kind of writing. You're writing a thing so you can act in direct.

[Ted Danson]

But I think you're kind of extraordinary because I don't think that works for a lot of people to switch hats back and forth. I mean, when I watch you act, you seem so connected to that reality. The depth of truth feels so amazing to watch. But you also are thinking about, you know, what the shot looks like, or you're also having written that scene, perhaps. You know, I find the idea of switching back and forth pretty rare. Cause some people do it, but you, you're not getting.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it's. Well, I mean, you're seeing the parts that we edited into the thing. Cause there are times when. Yes, Henry and Stephen especially said that I would be in scenes with them. And I'm going especially off camera. Yeah, Henry. Bill, can you please stop mouthing my lines?

[Ted Danson]

You're the guy. You're the guy. That sat inside live going, yes, yes. No.

[Bill Hader]

No. But he. But yeah, I definitely. Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, you. Because you write the thing, you kind of know what the emotion is and you're relating to it, and then you set up the shots and you kind of have everything. I like to pre plan a lot. So then when you're in it and we're in it, then you can really be in it, you know, and because you've planned it so much and you know what you're doing, you know. But then there's also been times. I mean, there's. Every season we do reshoots because I've had some idea that I think is great. And then we get in the edit and the editors are like, what is this? And I go, I don't know, I thought it was good. And then you asked the actors, hey, we cut that. And they're like, oh, thank God, we did not get that at all. And I was like, okay, yeah, you're right. So it's always. It's a process. And you do have to, like, set your ego aside, you know, if you're going to make the story work for that. That's true.

[Ted Danson]

I think about the business in general. Check your ego at the door. It looks like it's full of ego, but, man, do you get ego crushed all the time.

[Bill Hader]

And then you think like, oh, I've got my ego in check. And then people outside of the go, yeah, man. You realize we only been talking about you for the. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, I've been told. I got, you know, someone goes, bill, have you heard the term emotional dumping? And I go, what's that? And it's like. It's when you just kind of like, dump all your problems onto people and you're not. You're talking at them. You're not really. Oh, and I went to my editor, Allie Greer's amazing editor. I go, hey, do I emotional dump? And she's from Minnesota. And she goes, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You go off about this and that, and you're always upset about this, and then it doesn't really matter what I say. So then, yeah, you talk to a therapist about that and go, why do I do that? What is that? What is up with that?

[Ted Danson]

I've become the older guy that walks through a door talking. I don't even see who's in it. I just start talking and adapt. It's like, oh, it's terrible.

[Bill Hader]

Wait, what does that look like? What is that? What Are you just saying I have.

[Ted Danson]

Something on my mind? And I start talking and then I notice that Joe is actually there. So. All right, I'll include Joe in what I'm talking about. But it has nothing to do with other people. It's all. It's my monologue. Sorry.

[Bill Hader]

I see. Yeah. Yeah, that's. I love that. I should. I should do that. I always. You know, we have Larry. Larry David and I have become good friends.

[Ted Danson]

Motherfucker.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, he's a motherfucker.

[Ted Danson]

First off, I owe him so much in my life. So I. And I do love him, but I love picking on him as well because he's so pickable.

[Bill Hader]

Honorable well, he laughs at himself too, which is fun. Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

I mean, social graces are non existent. I mean, in real life, non existent.

[Bill Hader]

What is that?

[Ted Danson]

He doesn't like going to people. He doesn't like accepting invitations to people's homes for dinner because I can't get up and leave whenever I want. And he wants to leave a lot. And Woody and I. Actually, it was Woody and I and somebody else were meeting him for dinner. And he got there early. It was his idea. And we came in and said to the mayor, d. We're here with Larry David. And he said, oh, yes, he's right over there. And Larry was finishing his last bite of his entree. He had ordered, eaten early. And because he wanted. He had a better idea, probably involving some young lady or something. I was like, whatever. He's terrible. You know, I have a memory with you and Larry all in the same moment, which was you were nominated for best actor in a comedy. And so was Larry, and so was I. Curb and the Good Place. And Barry and Larry turns to me, we're sitting behind each other, you know, in our tuxedos and everything. And he goes, we're gonna lose. And I said, don't say that. We're not gonna lose. Don't say that. I was kind of pissed. Cause I had in the back of my mind, I might win. Yeah, and you won. And my reaction was to haul off and slug his arm like it was his fault. If he hadn't said it, maybe I would have won.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, I saw him after that and he was like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Congratulations. Yeah, we both are like, old movie, you know, we love watching tcm. So he'll send me, like, you know, he'll send me, oh, this is on right now. And he likes very kind of sweet movies, which is funny, you know, like, you know, I don't know, like Ghost and, you know, Miss, you know.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, my God, this is great.

[Bill Hader]

It was like a sweet movie.

[Ted Danson]

He's a marshmallow, really.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, he likes very. And he doesn't like things are too violent or anything. Like, he's like, ah, that's not for me. I don't like the violence.

[Ted Danson]

Or mean spirited.

[Bill Hader]

Mean spirited. No, he doesn't like that.

[Ted Danson]

He'll be. He'll make fun of himself. He'll put himself through the Grinder as a character, but not. He doesn't like mean humor.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, he doesn't. Yeah, he's like, I'm not really into that. He actually does good impressions because he always. He's a. I would do impressions for him and he would laugh incredibly. He's got the best. He's a good laugher, you know, like, you know, but he. He can do Rod. Have him do Rod Steiger and the Harder They Fall with. Wow, that's so specific. Humphrey Bogart. Humphrey Bogart's last movie. How do they fall? And he could do Rod Steiger in there. And he was doing that when I did an episode of Curb and I was crying, laughing. It was so funny. But if you see him having to.

[Ted Danson]

Go, the people, the people.

[Bill Hader]

He does Rod Steiger and he does it really good. It's really good.

[Ted Danson]

Do you find yourself something like, mary and I will be talking, and it'll be just a word, you know, stop fiddling with that. You're a fiddler. Yeah, I'm a fiddler. You're a fiddler. You're a fiddler. That's what you do. You're a fiddler. And you start doing.

[Bill Hader]

You start doing riffs. Yeah. It's hard to not. It's very, very contagious. His voice. And he loves asking. He has. Because I have a peanut allergy. And I told him a story. I go, yeah. He was so fascinated. He's like, tell me more about this peanut allergy. What happened? You know, And I tell him, oh, you know, I. One time we were at this huge dinner for snl and I won't name this actress was hosting, and they came to the table and they go, do we have any allergies? And I go, I actually have a very, very bad nut allergy. And they go, okay. So we. And it was one of those things where you share food. Oh. So they said. And I kind of went, is it okay if we just don't have any nuts in the food because I could die. And everybody always. That's like my joke, but I'm being serious. And everybody's like, oh, yeah, sure, no problem. But the actress went, I actually want nuts. You know.

[Ted Danson]

Wow.

[Bill Hader]

So we had to work it out where she got stuff with nuts, whatever. And that is something. Larry loved that story. He asked me about it 20 times. Like, tell me again about the nuts. He also, I have a very bad story about a terrible trial balloon that I laid out where I made a faux pas. And then I tried to, you know. Trial balloon where you go over and try to see if everything's okay. And I had said something again, I won't name him, but I said something about. To a guy, a scene that was good in a movie. And anyway, it's hard to explain, but basically, I kind of inadvertently upset this actor. I didn't realize that I upset him. And he called me on it and goes, you know, I was in that. And I went, oh. Oh, sorry. You know, I was kind of being disparaging about a film.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And I. Oh, man. We were at a barbecue, and Larry's already, like, laughing.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. So what'd you do? What'd you say?

[Bill Hader]

How long did you wait? I waited, like, an hour. And then I walked over and I said, hey, they're grilling chicken over there. And Larry laughed because that is the worst trial in the history of trial points. So he will always go, yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, they're cooking chicken.

[Bill Hader]

That is the worst thing. That's not a conversation. That's just a fact. You're just pointing at things. It was true. I did.

[Ted Danson]

Did it work?

[Bill Hader]

No, the guy just walked away. It was like, get the fuck away from me. I was like, shit. I was like, God damn it. Yeah, I messed up.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, wow. How's your family? Did they like your fame? Is everybody okay with.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, everybody's okay.

[Ted Danson]

It's an adjustment.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it is an adjustment. I think everybody's all right. They just don't take me very seriously, which is good.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. How are you with fame? Are you okay walking around and being reckoned?

[Bill Hader]

As long as they think I'm Rainn Wilson, I'm great, you know, sometimes.

[Ted Danson]

All right.

[Bill Hader]

Sometimes a little weird, you know, I'm. You know, I'm kind of a homebody. And I'm also. I could be pretty paranoid and stuff. So. Yeah, I don't. Sometimes I don't. Like, if I feel like someone's following me. I don't really believe it or not. I don't. I don't like that. I do not like it when you're walking and I'm like, hey, I just saw you.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

At this other place. What are you doing? Oh, this person's following me. You know, I don't like.

[Ted Danson]

Mary's okay with people coming up going, hey, I love your work. Hey, Direct in your eyes. Cannot stand people surreptitiously taking photographs.

[Bill Hader]

It's like, that's the new thing that. It's not new, but it's a thing that everybody has a camera. Yeah, just. I mean, just, you know, you're on a plane and you're sitting there, and the people. The person in front of you.

[Ted Danson]

Yes.

[Bill Hader]

The thing I don't like is when they have the camera and they put their arm around you and then just try to take the picture. And I'm like, oh, we're not doing that. Please, please ask me. You know, but I kind of. I don't really like taking pictures with people. I'm sure it bums people out. I'm always like, oh, no, I don't do that. But I'll meet you. What's your name?

[Ted Danson]

And then the disappointment on their face like, who the fuck wants to meet you? I just want the picture.

[Bill Hader]

I don't even know who you are. Cause what happens is you say yes. This sounds like such a champagne problem. I know, but you say yes to somebody, and then other people start coming over, and then most of them are like, I have no idea who you are, but everybody's asking for your picture. And. And so I kind of just say no. And also, you just don't know where those pictures will end up. You know, you see someone's Facebook, and it's like, neo Nazi. And it's like, this is when I met Bill. It's like, f. You know, why did I. You know? I don't know. So I kind of just, as a rule, just. I always say, oh, no, I don't do that, but what's your name? You know, and just try to meet him. And sometimes it's great. And then sometimes, yeah, it's this. Yeah. In London, I said, oh, I'll meet you. And the guy went, oh, fuck off. Just walked away. And I was like, well, there you go. There's the answer.

[Ted Danson]

I love New York. For the. They're so direct. It's like, hey, Ted, come over here.

[Bill Hader]

Get.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, I'm actually okay with that.

[Bill Hader]

I like that.

[Ted Danson]

It's not covert. It's, you know.

[Bill Hader]

Well, being at. On snl, it was like being in the Yankees. It's like home team. So if you walk by. I remember you'd walk by, and someone would go, hey, they're not using you. Hey, they're not using you. Yeah, you're not doing it. You're not really working on the show. I remember one time, a cab driver was walking with my ex mother in law and we were walking up the street in New York and this cab driver pulled up me and went, hey, snl, you and your show fucking suck soccer. But yeah, calling me SNL is always. I'm sure everybody has that. So I was like, hey, yes.

[Ted Danson]

And L. You know, it's funny how you remember the insults.

[Bill Hader]

Nice things. 90, 95% of the time is. But when it's mean, I. Yeah, you always remember someone being mean.

[Ted Danson]

My two favorite reviews, I couldn't tell you a positive one was too tepid. Ted. Or the other one. This, this was after Becker came out and Mary and I had gone back to do. I had done a lot of press and she came with me. And then we had to fly back to the opening night of it premiere here in la. But as we were heading to the airport after doing, you know, a week of press in New York, I see Mary and there's a pile, which doesn't always happen when you hire a car. There was a pile of newspapers in the backseat, and I saw Mary kind of open one up and I'm. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm not really paying attention. Then I see her out of the corner of my eye, slowly start to push all the newspapers onto the floor. And she read. I finally insisted. And Mr. Thinks he's so wonderful. Danson was one of them. And the other one was too tepid. Ted. Yeah, you'll never forget merit, you know.

[Bill Hader]

But nevertheless, you'll never forget those. Yeah, any sort of bad review. I think someone my first season said I would love it if Bill Hader, Will Forte and Jason Sudeikis would just walk their asses into traffic. It was really mean. You used to, we used to cut ourselves because you would go to the, because you would just go online and you would go to the comment section and all this stuff, and it was so brutal. And then I remember Emily Spivey, my friend, who's a great writer, great writer, genius. And she was like, why do you care about what some dude in his, you know, who's probably in his basement in Mobile, Alabama, has to say about you? And I was like, right, you're right. You know, And I had an experience one time with a guy who went after me pretty hard on snl and he would do this. He wrote for, like a big website and he would do these Kind of awards. And he said, you know, best character, worst character, best sketch, worst sketch. And he was like, worst thing of the year was Bill Hader as Herb Sewell is this old reporter character I used to play. It's not funny, it's racist, it's misogynistic. I hate this thing. No one likes it. And I was like, oh. And then months later, I'm at press for an animated movie I did. And I'm at a table at Comic Con. And it's one of those things where they just bring people over to you. They go, okay, next is. And it's that guy. Oh, okay. So he sits down. I don't mention it. I just. And he's super nice to me. And we talk about the movie. It ends. And then as he gets up, he goes, hey, I just want to say, you know what my favorite thing you do is? I love Herb Sewell, that character. And I went, okay, I wasn't going to say anything, but it's a little weird because you wrote that it was the worst thing ever on a big website. And he went, oh, well, yeah, I wrote that. And a couple of friends said, no, it's funny. So I went back and watched. I was like, no, it's funny.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And that was kind of a gift to me because I went, oh, social media got it. Or reviews, whatever. You just go, yeah. They might change their mind. You know, today they don't like it tomorrow. But it was kind of a thing of like, okay, I'm going to let this go.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm just going to let this go. But I will say, last season of Barry, I was like, because we ended it. And I wanted to know, God, did we land it or not? And we took some big swings and stuff. And so that I was a little like reading reviews and going, ooh, ah. You know, And I learned my lesson. My publicist was like, don't. You don't have to read this. And I was like, yeah, you're right.

[Ted Danson]

You know, I'm not on social media for that. I'm too thin skinned. I don't want to. I don't want to live in that world, you know?

[Bill Hader]

No, I. I know I would be addicted to it.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

You know, I would just be addicted to it. I'm just. I'm already addicted to just like texting people. It's not good when people go, man, you get back to me, like, right away.

[Ted Danson]

I know, I know. Emails you can ignore.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Texting you have to answer.

[Bill Hader]

I'm like, oh, this is it. You know? And it's like, aren't you driving? And I'm like, oh, yeah, don't worry about it. You know.

[Ted Danson]

But is that cup coffee, by the way?

[Bill Hader]

Yes. Do you guys like coffee?

[Ted Danson]

Oh, I. I'm down to. I heard. I heard an interview or something I had. I'm down to 2 in the morning.

[Bill Hader]

That's good.

[Ted Danson]

And let me not be a full on liar. And one in the afternoon.

[Bill Hader]

It's hard, man. It's like, it's, you know, Alyssa, my assistant was like, do you want a coffee? And I was driving here and I was like, I've already had two, but I'm jet lagged. I've been up since 1am so, like, have you? Yeah, I'm just like up at 1am and I texted Allie. I was like, I'm up at 1am she's like, so am I. We're just turned around.

[Ted Danson]

Hey, thank you so much.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, man, thanks for having me.

[Ted Danson]

This is a conversation stopper, but we're kind of at the end anyway. You really are. I mean, a talented, amazing actor, writer, director. You really are.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, thanks, man. That's a really nice view. That means the world coming from you, man. And yeah, my kid. I was like, I'm gonna go do a podcast. And they were like, you never do podcasts. And I was like, well, it's Ted Dance. And he's like the greatest. He's one of the greatest. And they're like, oh my God. Oh, God. You know, because they're. Yeah, good place. And you know, they're like, what? You know, and. And I will also say Three Men and a Baby is getting a renaissance.

[Ted Danson]

Cool.

[Bill Hader]

It's getting a renaissance.

[Ted Danson]

I didn't know that.

[Bill Hader]

Kids now know that. I was talking to my. One of my kids and I. What you guys watch? We watched Three Men and a Baby. I was like, really? Oh, cool. Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Leonard Nimoy directed Wild. Isn't that wild?

[Bill Hader]

I want you to talk to the baby, make the baby laugh.

[Ted Danson]

Hey, give yourself a treat. Watch Barry on HBO if it's the last thing you. No, it won't be the last thing you do. It is my favorite kind of dark, funny, human comedy. It's my favorite kind of comedy. That's it for this week's episode. Special thanks to Woody and special thanks to our friends at Team Coco. If you like these episodes, please tell a friend and subscribe on your favorite podcast app. If you have some time. A great rating and review on Apple Podcasts helps a lot. So please thank you. Well, see you next time. Where everybody knows your name.

[Bill Hader]

You've been listening to where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Leo. Executive producers are Adam Sacks, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross and myself. Sarah Fedorovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaca. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grohl, talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Bautista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Antony Gennady, Mary Steenburgen and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willie Navarret. We'll have more for you next time. Where everybody knows your name.

[C]

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