JB Smoove

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (sometimes)"

Episode Title: JB Smoove
Release Date: December 11, 2024

---

Introduction

In this engaging episode of "Where Everybody Knows Your Name," hosts Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson reconnect with the charismatic JB Smoove. Known for his standout role as Leon Black on the acclaimed series "Curb Your Enthusiasm," JB brings a wealth of comedic experience and personal anecdotes that delve deep into his life beyond the screen.

---

Reconnecting with JB Smoove

The conversation kicks off with Ted reminiscing about his collaboration with JB on "Curb Your Enthusiasm":

Ted Danson [03:05]: "Of course, you know him as Leon Black, one of the most hilarious TV characters of all time. He's an amazing comic. He's an amazing actor and pitch man."

JB reciprocates with heartfelt appreciation and shares insights into his relationship with Larry David:

JB Smoove [04:10]: "Larry's very amazing. He's an amazing, smart guy. But I can tell he's always thinking... he listens very intently."

---

Navigating Fame and Public Recognition

A significant portion of the episode explores the challenges and nuances of fame. JB opens up about his experiences in New York, dealing with fan interactions, and the balance between maintaining privacy and embracing public recognition.

JB Smoove [09:06]: "People do that to you all the time. But I do that."

Ted reflects on his own approach to fame and interactions with fans:

Ted Danson [12:54]: "People come up to you and smile. People think it's all the time because you made them laugh."

They discuss strategies for handling fan requests and the importance of genuine connections:

JB Smoove [12:09]: "People tell me some stories, and I say, oh, my God, that's great to hear, man. The show got me through this. It got me through that."

---

JB Smoove’s Comedy Journey and Influences

JB shares his rich background in comedy, emphasizing the significance of versatility and persistence in the entertainment industry. He recounts his early days in New York, his first jobs, and pivotal moments that shaped his career.

JB Smoove [24:07]: "Always been the life of the party... I just always been the guy that makes people laugh."

He highlights the influence of his family and mentors, underscoring how personal experiences fuel his comedic style:

JB Smoove [25:39]: "My whole family's funny. You go to my family reunion, you wouldn't get a word in because everybody wants to."

---

Meeting Legends: Personal Anecdotes

A delightful segment features JB recounting memorable encounters with legendary figures in entertainment. From meeting Sidney Poitier and Gregory Peck to interacting with comedians like Don Rickles and Richard Pryor, JB illustrates the profound impact these moments had on him.

JB Smoove [64:41]: "He took me to the table with... Don Rickles, John Mayer, and Bob Saget... I gave him a little shit."

Ted shares his own experiences meeting icons like Dick Van Dyke and Mel Brooks, fostering a mutual respect and admiration between the hosts and their guest.

Ted Danson [73:42]: "I got to meet Mel Brooks... and Carl Reiner, all those people."

---

A Pivotal Moment: The Basketball Injury Story

One of the episode's most gripping moments is JB’s candid narration of a severe injury sustained during a celebrity basketball game. He details the events leading up to the injury, the immediate aftermath, and the harrowing experience in the hospital.

JB Smoove [46:02]: "He caught me right there with that shoulder, my whole lung was full of blood."

Ted interjects with concern, highlighting the intensity of JB’s experience:

Ted Danson [54:37]: "Wow."

The story serves as a testament to JB's resilience and the unpredictable nature of life, emphasizing the importance of perseverance:

JB Smoove [93:03]: "If you can keep your mind and keep your senses and don't panic, you can figure your way out of anything."

---

Reflections on Career Paths and Personal Growth

The dialogue transitions into deep reflections on career choices, personal growth, and the balance between ambition and contentment. JB advises young comedians on the importance of versatility and believing in oneself:

JB Smoove [42:48]: "You gotta trust the process and trust what you do and what you bring to something in order for you to get there."

Ted resonates with this philosophy, sharing his journey of embracing friendships with younger, dynamic individuals and learning to admire rather than compete:

Ted Danson [81:22]: "I decided to enjoy my younger, brighter, funnier friends as opposed to feel like, oh, I have to compete."

---

The Power of Comedy and Human Connection

Central to the episode is the belief in comedy's transformative power. Both JB and Ted emphasize how humor serves as a bridge, fostering connections and bringing joy to people's lives.

JB Smoove [12:38]: "Laughter changes the world. It really does."

They discuss the essence of being an icon versus a legend, focusing on the impact and memories created through genuine interactions and comedic excellence.

JB Smoove [37:52]: "Icon means it's someone that touched you in a way that made you remember who they were in that moment."

---

Conclusion: Celebrating Friendship and Legacy

As the episode wraps up, Ted and JB celebrate their friendship, mutual respect, and shared commitment to comedy. They reflect on their journeys, the importance of staying true to oneself, and the joy of creating laughter together.

Ted Danson [94:13]: "I can't tell you how much I enjoy you. I can't tell you it makes sense. Because before I knew anything about you, all I wanted to do was hug you."

JB echoes this sentiment, highlighting the deep bond formed through their shared experiences and laughter.

JB Smoove [94:49]: "We so deep. And you said it earlier. This is the first time we really, like, dove into life."

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ted Danson [03:05]: "He's an amazing comic. He's an amazing actor and pitch man."

• JB Smoove [09:06]: "People do that to you all the time. But I do that."

• JB Smoove [24:07]: "Always been the life of the party... I just always been the guy that makes people laugh."

• JB Smoove [46:02]: "He caught me right there with that shoulder, my whole lung was full of blood."

• JB Smoove [93:03]: "If you can keep your mind and keep your senses and don't panic, you can figure your way out of anything."

• JB Smoove [12:38]: "Laughter changes the world. It really does."

• Ted Danson [94:13]: "I can't tell you how much I enjoy you... all I really wanted to do every time I saw you was hug you."

---

Takeaways

This episode offers a profound exploration of the life and career of JB Smoove, intertwined with heartfelt conversations about friendship, resilience, and the unifying power of comedy. Listeners are treated to personal stories, industry insights, and the warm camaraderie between seasoned actors and a beloved comedian, making it a must-listen for fans of humor and genuine human connection.

Transcript

[Ted Danson]

You don't want to compromise on your vacation. In fact, you deserve more on vacation. Experience more with Norwegian Cruise Line. Find more amazing places to explore, more unique and longer itineraries, more time in port, and more entertainment and restaurant options on board NCL ships. Enjoy perks like unlimited open bars, specialty dining, free airfare for second guest, and excursion credits too. There's more to a vacation with Norwegian. More to see, more to do, more to enjoy. Visit ncl.com call your travel advisor or 1888 ncl Cruise restrictions apply because I listened to some of your episodes before this episode. Oh yeah, today. Yeah, I thought, what if he's just pure that way? You were on Conan sometimes. What do I do? How do I try to fit that in? Welcome back to where everybody knows your name. Today I'm talking to a guy, one of the sweetest, funniest people in the business, who is known for keeping everyone around him in stitches. And he does it all with incomparable style and grace. JB Smoove. I've had the privilege of working with JB on Curb youb Enthusiasm for several years. Of course, you know him as Leon Black, one of the most hilarious TV characters of all time. He's an amazing comic. He's an amazing actor and pitch man. Can't wait for you to meet him. Here is JB Smoove. I was in New York. Mary and I were in New York the other day and we walked over the grates, you know, from the, in the subway and the heat coming up. And that smell, it made me so nostalgic. I actually love that smell. Horrible. Yeah, but it's.

[JB Smoove]

But have you ever been cold and thought about laying your ass down on one of them warm ass grits when that Steve is coming up? Have you ever done that?

[Ted Danson]

Like, no, I haven't.

[JB Smoove]

What did you say? You gotta think about it once in a while. I mean, you've been out there when it's bitter cold and you got somewhere to go and you can't get a cab. You're walking like, fuck, my hands are cold. And you see that steam rising up, homeless guys laying on it, you like, shit, I would spoon that guy right now for some heat. You know what I'm saying?

[Ted Danson]

Did you spend New York years?

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, I'm a New Yorker.

[Ted Danson]

Base. Saturday Night Live.

[JB Smoove]

I'm a New Yorker. I'm a New Yorker. I'm a real New Yorker. I'm from North Carolina originally. Went to New York when I was like six. And then I'd been in New York my Whole life until I came to la.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, wow. Let me back up. How are you doing post curb? And you do so much. Curb was probably just a small part of your life, but Kirby is a.

[JB Smoove]

Small part of my life. Sometimes I gotta set Larry straight, let him know that, you know, I got a shit to do, Right? Yeah. You know, he get a little cocky once in a while.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. The more famous the show.

[JB Smoove]

Did he tell you the same thing? You're never gonna have more fun than this show in your career. Has he told you that?

[Ted Danson]

No. Cause he didn't really talk to me on the set that much.

[JB Smoove]

You guys got to. Okay.

[Ted Danson]

We had the strangest relationship.

[JB Smoove]

Larry's.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, do me, Larry.

[JB Smoove]

What's the word? I'm trying to. Larry's very amazing. He's amazing. Smart guy.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

But I can tell he's always thinking.

[Ted Danson]

Yes. Even when he's in.

[JB Smoove]

Not racing mind, but very. What's the word I'm trying to think of here? Like some people, their brains race all the time. It always. Like they always try to think of things, but he's very, you know, centered. But he's always, like, seeming like he's not protecting himself, but almost like he has this thing where he's very. He makes himself smaller. You know, it's like someone do that, they make themselves smaller.

[Ted Danson]

That's interesting.

[JB Smoove]

And they listen very intently. Yeah, you know, he listens very intently. And when you say something to him, he's thinking about what you just said.

[Ted Danson]

And whether or not he can use it in the show.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, yeah, sometimes.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah. Yeah. I always wonder what it would be like this. Me and Larry hang. Just me and Larry. Hey, Larry, man, this means you go out and smoke a cigar at a little cigar lounge or somewhere.

[Ted Danson]

Did you hang with Larry other than show ever or much?

[JB Smoove]

Not much. Just run into him a lot.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, yeah.

[JB Smoove]

But when we're, like, down and we're in a. Or we're in a car, I would just tell him crazy stories.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, things that he's. He wouldn't be privy to. I always love that word, privy.

[Ted Danson]

Now, isn't that also an outhouse?

[JB Smoove]

You ain't privy to that stuff, is it? Yeah, privy's an outhouse. I don't know the same. We learning a lot. Right now our house is called a privy.

[Ted Danson]

How to stay wild saying that every phone booth is a privy.

[JB Smoove]

Every phone booth is a privy. A privy. I never knew that.

[Ted Danson]

See, I'm afraid that I'm not going to see Larry anymore because we don't have the excuse of work. I invited him onto the show. I texted him, said, woody Harrelson and I are doing this podcast. We'd love to have you on. And he went, you and Woody. God, that sounds great. Period. Then, nah. See, and he just.

[JB Smoove]

Nah.

[Ted Danson]

With the period.

[JB Smoove]

He's. He thinks.

[Ted Danson]

Are we saying selfish, self absorbed.

[JB Smoove]

No, he just thinks. He just thinks in a certain pace. See how he went from oh, that sounds great to nah. Because he was thinking in this, you know, not. Not a fast think. Because he would have said, fuck no quick. He said, oh, that's bullshit. He would have said that quick. But he said he took a little time, he said, till he waited for you to ask him, see? But he's sitting there hoping your ass don't ask him, see.

[Ted Danson]

Yes, yes. No, that's true.

[JB Smoove]

So you had a little break there. Got a little quiet, right? And then you had. You gave him space. You gave him too much space.

[Ted Danson]

I don't know why.

[JB Smoove]

You gave him thinking. So you gave him thinking space.

[Ted Danson]

I should have said, what time can you come?

[JB Smoove]

You gotta drive the.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Some people gotta drop the conversation.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And you gotta drop that conversation and.

[Ted Danson]

Give him not any out.

[JB Smoove]

I can't wait till you do it.

[Ted Danson]

Yes. God. See, you are good at selling things.

[JB Smoove]

You gotta sell. Yeah, you gotta sell. And don't forget. See, a lot of people do this kind of shit and they forget who the fuck they are. You almost forgot that I'm fucking fucking Ted Dancer. That's where you messed up at right there. Yes. You forgot who you were. You humbled yourself. You crumbled down to Larry.

[Ted Danson]

You know what? We're joking. But you nailed me. You nailed me. Right on. I am such a pain in the ass. I'm so self deprecating. Which is another way to go, because that makes the other people go, no, no, Ted, you're wonderful.

[JB Smoove]

Should never doubt themselves.

[Ted Danson]

God, I wish people, you are handsome as devil. People can see you with your hat right now. You are so fucking cool.

[JB Smoove]

Should be smooth. That's why. See, that's what I just did. Yeah, I can fix you. I can fix your ass, Teddy. I mean, fix your ass.

[Ted Danson]

I will hire you.

[JB Smoove]

I have. You have everybody. I have you. You have dead motherfuckers on this show. I'll have you getting anybody you fucking want. You'll be sitting here fucking in a skeleton just sitting here while you interview their asses. Anybody you fucking want. Name them. Anybody in history you have sitting in this fucking chair.

[Ted Danson]

Well, you know what?

[JB Smoove]

You gotta.

[Ted Danson]

Larry blew it so we don't need Larry.

[JB Smoove]

You. No, you didn't. You got it. You gotta say that Larry.

[Ted Danson]

Get Larry on the show and then come beyond it with me and we'll interview his ass.

[JB Smoove]

This is crazy. This is a whole different topic, but watermelon with some coffee.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, it's a great combo.

[JB Smoove]

Three shots.

[Ted Danson]

But once again, be careful.

[JB Smoove]

No, no, no, no. It's horrible.

[Ted Danson]

Oh.

[JB Smoove]

I'm chilly and warm at the same time. It's weird.

[Ted Danson]

Okay, let me.

[JB Smoove]

So, so, so let's get back to you. Just for three seconds on you.

[Ted Danson]

Just three. Have you ever done anything? Some people forget three seconds, but gone. Sorry.

[JB Smoove]

Some people are, you know, and I think even when I was on Howard Stern show one time, and Howard was talking about his old neighborhood, he always talks about his old neighborhood, how you can't go back. I said, no, you can go back. You just gotta go back a certain way. I said, you going back like you worried about everybody fucking with you and wanting to. I said, you gotta go with it like a regular person. I said, you go shopping, what people do? You go shopping. You get a shopping cart, you know what I mean? And grab one that someone didn't return. Grab one of those. Grab one. Just grab one out of the parking lot. Just go in there and shop like a regular ass person. Pick up things. Look at this. You know, read the ingredients on stuff, put it in your cart, do regular ass, and people will leave you the alone.

[Ted Danson]

You know, that's a joke.

[JB Smoove]

When you start acting like you're going to be recognized every second, people look at that and say, hey, man, I hate to be that guy. People always do that. People do that to you all the time. But I do that.

[Ted Danson]

I go shopping. I love it.

[JB Smoove]

I hate to be that guy, but can I get a selfie? I hate that. When they lead in with that, when they say, I hate to be that guy, it's nothing but that. There's nothing else. I can't say, oh, I hate to be that guy, but do you mind if I put $1,000 in your pocket?

[Ted Danson]

They usually don't do this. One of those preferences.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, they do that. Oh, yeah, yeah. This between those two. Those are the number. I think one is number one only. Number two.

[Ted Danson]

I learned early on, though, don't you always say yes? Because saying no takes way longer to explain why you don't want to have a selfie or why you don't want.

[JB Smoove]

To sign an autograph, man, people. No, it's.

[Ted Danson]

I actually do.

[JB Smoove]

Like, nobody minds doing it. I think People just. Someone has to create a new in. You got to get a new in.

[Ted Danson]

What do you mean?

[JB Smoove]

Hate to be that guy is not a great in.

[Ted Danson]

Do me again. No, I'm not following you.

[JB Smoove]

When people say, I hate to be that guy.

[Ted Danson]

Oh.

[JB Smoove]

And do it anyway.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[JB Smoove]

It's. It's a weird turn.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know what I mean? It's like you hate to be that guy, but you still. You're still doing it.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. You know, I know you. Here's another one. I know you're trying not to be recognized, but I. Oh, I know. I do know you are.

[JB Smoove]

I like. I like. You know, I like. I like someone to walk up to me and say, hey, man, I know you're living your life, man, but I love what you do, man. Keep doing what you do, man. And that makes me humbled. And I say, you know what, man? And say, my dad's a big fan of yours, or, my sister loves you. And then what I do, here's how I control it. I say, you know what? If she's a big fan, call her on FaceTime. Really? Yeah. Call her on FaceTime. I'm going to say hi to her. And that just makes it easier, because now you're driving a vehicle. You're driving a car.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You're not subject to, oh, shit, I don't feel well today. And somebody's already doing it. Or the dude who walks up to you with the camera already like this, hey, I'm hanging out. Look at this. JB Smooth. I'm like, man, come on, man. How you come up to me with the camera already rolling?

[Ted Danson]

You're a prop.

[JB Smoove]

How do you know? Yeah, but if I'm driving. If I'm driving the car, I feel better. I'm in control. I could do it. Three seconds.

[Ted Danson]

That's the best part.

[JB Smoove]

Thank you for your love.

[Ted Danson]

Fans in New York. Fans in New York are just so direct. Hey, Ted, get over here. Get the fuck over here. Here, give me a hug. Boom. You know, and that actually is fun and nice.

[JB Smoove]

It's fun. It's fun. But you know what we are. We have to give that to people because they are our supporters. They are people who love what we do. And believe it or not, it's good. And what we do. Laughter changes the world. It really does. People tell me some stories, and I say, oh, my God, that's great to hear, man. The show got me through this. It got me through that. And you gotta show people love. Yes. Because that's the purpose of what we Do.

[Ted Danson]

Yes. And it feels good. People come up to you and smile. People think it's all the time because you made them laugh.

[JB Smoove]

You gotta like doing it. Regardless of your check. You gotta like doing it. It really is. It's just part of what we do. We didn't choose this thing to be hermits. We chose to give people because we have a way of connecting to people. And you gotta have that lane in your life. People remember you more.

[Ted Danson]

Do you remember when all of a sudden you went from being able to walk the street and no one knew who you were, to when all of a sudden you were getting a lot of attention? When was that? New York stand up? Or when did you. When did. All of a sudden it's pockets.

[JB Smoove]

Because, you know, we do so many things that you get different pockets of things that, you know, depending on what's visible. You know, if I have a commercial campaign, people stop me for the commercial. Oh, I saw your billboard, you know, or if Curb is on. Hey, man. Yeah, episode was crazy. Had an amazing episode. You know, what's he really like to get that.

[Ted Danson]

Oh.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, man. How's Larry Owens? How's Larry off camera? How's Larry on camera? And I always sit there like, you know, he's Larry. You know, he's Larry. I always say, there's two Larry's. Yes, there's TV Larry and there's real Larry. TV Larry gotta polish it, and real Larry gotta polish it. Just different shit.

[Ted Danson]

But hey, man, hey, I owe him a lot. You know what? He's a friend. Has been for many, many, many years. He's a friend who you invite to dinner. And he says yes, and he won't show up, but he's still a friend. And he reinvigorated my desire to be funny. Cause I had done several sitcoms after Cheers in Becker, and I started to feel less and less funny. And a couple of them didn't work. And I went, oh, I'm through. Other people are funny, and I'm just not that. So I'm gonna not do that anymore. And then Curb came along and we showed up, Mary and I, because he said, come, just play yourselves. Come. And all of a sudden, funny became something so much fun for me again. So I do credit him a big part of my life, you know, I.

[JB Smoove]

Think it's genius to tap into the little things about life. You know, it's. Scripted work is amazing. I love writers, you know, I'm a writer. But there's something about being in the moment with people tapping into these little things. About life, about people, human nature, all these things that's very connected to people. You know what I mean? It's different. It's different. And when people know that you are, you know, you're scripted and you read and you're actually just saying what someone wrote for you, it's different.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, it is.

[JB Smoove]

And that's why I think I'm speaking from the comedian side. You know, we have to connect to people immediately. You know, we gotta sell ourselves. You know, anybody could tell a joke, anybody could tell a joke, you know, but how do you take that joke and make it connected to someone? You know, you gotta read energies. You gotta listen very intently to what people are laughing at. You know, some people like gestures that people laugh at. Gestures. If you recognize every little thing that people love about you, it's your golf swing. It's a golf swing that you have mastered to the point where you don't even have to look where the ball landed anymore. You swing, you hit, you turn around, you put the club away. The ball hasn't hit the ground yet sometimes, but you mastered that. And I think that's what, that's another learning lane that I think Curb has given a lot of us. It makes what we do originally did better. Cause now we're in the moment. And also don't think people also give you more leeway because of Curb. And they give comedians more leeway. Stand up comedians, because they know that they have a certain rhythm and timing that comes across very well and natural. You know, people can get very robotic when they're reading, memorizing a script, like exactly, exactly what I wrote. Not take it and make it your own. Which is a better way for anybody to work. Make it your own. If you like someone, you hire them because you like them and you love their rhythm, you love what they do, and you apply whatever that's written right there, you make it fit them, not vice versa. Cause it doesn't work that you gotta get your timing, how you speak. Everything has to match. That's why you work with people who write for, who know how to write for you in your rhythm. You know, how many times we've been, you know, you know, waiting to find out what Larry's gonna do if he's coming back. All those seasons, you know, I would see Larry at an event or something like that, and he would tell me, I got some good stuff for you this season. And I would say, really? Yeah. You don't like it. Cause he knows everyone. So when he says he has some great stuff for you, man. That means he's really been thinking of, how can I make this person shine as much as possible? You know? And that is a. You know, you missed a lot of us. There's a lot of us on the show. You gotta juggle all these different personalities and fit what their character would do in this situation. Yeah, that's a lot of people to think about. Unscripted.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know what I mean?

[Ted Danson]

They did work their asses off for, like months coming up with the plot lines and the everything.

[JB Smoove]

It's great. No, it's unbelievable. You know, if you laugh. Look, we laugh at the premise. If you laugh at the premise before the punchlines, you got gold all the time. That's the aim. The aim is for the premise to be funny. When I'm on stage, if I'm performing, no matter what I do, the premise is what I get a smirk out of, or someone leans forward in their chair. You know what I mean? That is what. That's the goal to me. You get a laugh on the premise. You got somebody, you say, hey, you smiling. You laughing already at the premise. Wait until I get to the punchline. I think that's what is golden, and I think that's what we get. We got put into an amazing position that on Curve. Because you read that outline, you say, oh, man. Sometimes I didn't wanna read them because I didn't. I hate to read. I didn't start. I might have read last season, but the rest of them, I would just get there and say, okay, what's popping? Just tell me what the overall episode is about and what I'm doing. Cause I don't wanna overthink it.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, I spent a whole season once not looking at any of the outlines. And I was doing a show, an episode where I get out of the car and I walk to this laundry dry cleaner and Larry. And I'm blanking on her name was a famous actress. We're standing on the curb and I got to my mark early. I was too soon. And as I'm passing by, because I just supposed to go, hey. And keep going, I hear, oh, yeah, Ted Danson. He is such an asshole. And they both are talking about what an asshole I am. And I. And I heard this for the first time, and I'm going, well, I mean, what. You know. And then I talked to Jeff Garland and he went, you didn't know? You are the asshole of the season. And I was like, oh, maybe I should read these. You don't want to compromise on your vacation in fact, you deserve more on vacation. Experience more with Norwegian Cruise Line Find more amazing places to explore, more unique and longer itineraries, more time in port and more entertainment and restaurant options on board NCL ships. Enjoy perks like unlimited open bars, specialty dining, free airfare for second guest and excursion credits too. There's more to a vacation with Norwegian more to see, more to do, more to enjoy. Visit ncl.com call your travel advisor or 1888 NCL cruise restrictions apply. If your Thanksgiving doesn't include a Birdzilla or regularly end with a food fight like in the Cheers Thanksgiving Orphans episode, consider it a success. The image of that giant bird replays again and again in my mind. That scene was actually fun to shoot. We had to do it in one take because it would have taken two hours to clean up after us. See your favorite movies and shows for what feels like the first time with Samsung oled. Samsung OLED immerses you in brighter details and more vivid colors. The AI powered processor upscales even lower res older content to brilliant 4K resolution so clear that you might be able to spot Norm's wife. If you look close enough, you see what I'm doing here, right? With all the Cheers references, experience colors as they're meant to be seen. Samsung OLED is the only OLED TV validated by the industry. Leading color experts at Pantone really makes that Thanksgiving scene look a lot more appetizing. Say big on Samsung OLED TVs for the holidays. Learn more at samsung.com OLED upscaling utilizes AI based algorithms. Viewing experience may vary based on types of content and format. When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof like Aloe or Allbirds or Skims or, oh, I don't know, old DVDs of Cheers. You think about a great product, a cool brand and brilliant marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business. That business is Shopify. All right, I'm going to make this sound like I know exactly what I'm saying, even though I may not know exactly what I'm saying. It is the home of the number one checkout on the planet with shop pay that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whenever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Businesses that want to grow grow with Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout we use with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial [e-mail] TedAndWoody all lowercase go to shopify.com TedAndWoody to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com Ted and Woody.

[JB Smoove]

Dude, let me.

[Ted Danson]

Go back to the beginning of you and stand up. How did that. Where before. How did that start. Did you start writing jokes before?

[JB Smoove]

Always been, always been. I just always been the life of the party. I was always life of the party. I think I could. If I had known in high school that I could really do this, oh, man, I would have prepared myself. But I do think there's something to preparing yourself without structurally knowing. Preparing yourself and knowing anything. I think you become the life of the party. You become that dude. You become the guy that makes people laugh. The first one to dance at every party, you're that dude. You know, you're the loudest guy in the room. You know, you're either gonna be a lawyer, you're gonna be something. But I didn't. I mean, although I was a big fan of comedians, comedic actors and all that stuff, I had no idea.

[Ted Danson]

What age are you talking right now when you're talking?

[JB Smoove]

I'm talking about high school. High school age. But here's the thing people forget about, you know, there's a saying that people use, but people don't know what it really means. You are what you eat. You ever hear that before? You are what you eat. People relate that to food, and it's not about food. It's about what you are consuming through your life that makes you. That has given you strength, has given you insight, has given you all these things. So you are what you eat is everything that's around you, things that you have accepted into your life. That's what you're consuming. So me, I got really, really, you know, I grew up in the projects of Mount Vernon, New York, you know, Boys and Girls Club, kid, all that stuff, seeing everything.

[Ted Danson]

Meaning.

[JB Smoove]

Huh?

[Ted Danson]

When you say. When you bring that up, do you mean it was tough or.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, man, yeah, yeah. You hear the word projects? It's related to tough. It's related to, you know, being with. Living in a building with a lot of people, you know, but good times and hard times. This is New York City, right? You know, so you have to have a balance, I think, of things. Not that you have to live a certain way, but you have to know things exist. You have to know the context of things that you pull into your life, you know, so for me, it was.

[Ted Danson]

Let me interrupt, though. Who, Who. Cause that's a talent. That's a. Not everyone has that point of view at an early age or knows that in an early age. Did your mother, did your father, did your. Where did that ability to go, oh, I need to pay attention to what I'm absorbing come from, do you think?

[JB Smoove]

You just have to. It's a survival mode. You're in survival mode right now. New York is a fast, fast place, man. You know, you, I mean, you just, you see everything as a. As a young person. You see everything, you know, I don't know where you grew up at, what you grew up at.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, Arizona, you know, my best friends were helping Navajo, riding horses, ranchers, that kind of thing.

[JB Smoove]

Different. Beautiful, beautiful.

[Ted Danson]

Different.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, but it's a part. It's ingrained in you. It's a part of you in there that has gotten you to where you are right now. It has to. You know, but I think there's. There's a different. There's. Now. If we switched up, I would do better than you would do.

[Ted Danson]

I'm sure of that. I'm 100% sure.

[JB Smoove]

I'm just saying that's what some people always say this too, man. Look, some people have to know a little bit about everything.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And some people don't happen to know everything. Like, you know, I use this all the time. I always say, you know, black people can walk into, like back then in blockbuster. Black people can walk in blockbuster and rent anything and watch it and fucking enjoy it. It could be a movie about submarines. It could be any damn damn war movie. It could be anything fucking, you know, it don't matter what it is. We can watch anything and get it right. You can't walk in there and grab any fucking movie off the shelf and understand what the fuck is going on. You say you watch the movie Friday and you would not, you wouldn't be able to last five minutes. Cause you wouldn't know what is happening. You wouldn't understand. You wouldn't understand anything with that movie. Cause it's. Cause I say you have to consume everything in order to be well balanced in your life. Right? You gotta be well balanced. So for me as a kid growing up loving stand up, growing up in projects, I got a chance to. And New York has. New York has a certain pace to it. When you get a chance to hone your skills as a person, you know, I totally believe you gotta sell yourself. Before you sell anything, you gotta sell yourself.

[Ted Danson]

That's how you say that?

[JB Smoove]

Yeah. You gotta sell yourself if you can sell yourself. People like you, you get a return call, you get, hey there's, my guy. What's up, man? You get that from people. That's what you want. And that lasts you forever. Ever. Forever. Now I feel bad you got labeled an asshole on that season. I feel bad. I feel fucking bad.

[Ted Danson]

You know, I thought you were just saying in life. No, for a minute, when you started that sentence, I went, wait a minute. Am I labeled an asshole in life?

[JB Smoove]

No, not in life. I'm saying I'm using that as a overall. I'm painting the overall picture of how we are all part of our upbringing and what we consume through our life. So for me, I always wanted to make people happy.

[Ted Danson]

Me too.

[JB Smoove]

Cause it wasn't always great times growing up in New York, in the projects. It just wasn't. I lost a lot of friends. I lost a lot of friends, man. It's rough, man. And some people don't understand that, that it really is a certain journey you gotta have. But all these things make you who you end up being. Like, at some point, you gotta land somewhere and you gotta be that person you are meant to be for the rest of your life. For the rest of your life. Not that you can't learn other things and you wouldn't pull other things into your life, but you have to have a base. You gotta have a base somewhere. So for me, comedy was that comedy. Really? My mom was funny. My mom is hilarious. My mom is funny. My brother's a comedian, also Pink Floyd. My brother Terrence is funny. We just got a funny family. My whole family's funny. You go to my family reunion, you wouldn't get a word in because everybody wants to. I think I was the only one at that time who was able to get on stage with it. And my brother's been doing it 10 years now. But before that, I've been doing it 30 something years. So as funny as my family is, I mean, hilarious. I mean, I get lost in the shuffle because they so damn funny. But they would never get on stage. These North Carolina people would never get on stage with it. But they are freaking characters, funny characters, man. So all these pieces right here become a part of, you know, how you move and how you. How you construct your. Your. Your. Your person. You know what I mean? And also, you gotta pull. There's so many things you gotta do, man. It's like, you know, and you have to build character. I think you build character and it's, you know, I mean, I had regular jobs. I used to sell fire extinguishers. You know what? My first job ever as 15. 15 year old kid, after school job was in a perfumery. I learned how to make perfume with this freaking 75 year old, maybe 4 foot 5 Italian guy. That was my first job I ever.

[Ted Danson]

Were you mixing?

[JB Smoove]

I was doing everything.

[Ted Danson]

Wow.

[JB Smoove]

I was a perfumer. I was a little. A high school kid who knew how to make perfume. Knew how to box it, knew how to fill bottles, knew how to ship it. I knew I did everything. Small company, 15 year old kid responsible for all the responsibilities. Wow. And I loved it. And when that little dude, Ray Murata was his name. Little. When that little guy, he's like you pick up little things from people like that. He would pull a handkerchief out of his pocket and just pat his forehead. He'd just say, you know what? I always carry a handkerchief. You never know, you're gonna sweat or you're gonna cut your finger or a lady might need something.

[Ted Danson]

That is so true.

[JB Smoove]

He always said that always carry a handkerchief in your pocket.

[Ted Danson]

That is so true.

[JB Smoove]

18 year old kid. I said I'll never forget that. Isn't that crazy?

[Ted Danson]

To this day, if I happen to have a handkerchief and Mary ask for one, she's so grateful.

[JB Smoove]

Isn't that something? Yeah. It's little things like that, man, that somehow you listen. And the world moved a little slower back then. Now the world is fast. So our old asses can't keep up with the speed of the world. Even though we have careers that we do, we still can't keep up. Really. We'll lose a young person sometimes in our dialogue, you know what I mean? In our description of something. We'll lose their ass and we'll get lost by their fast ass. We'll say what? What do you say? What do you.

[Ted Danson]

I sometimes thank God that I came up in a time where the body of work was enough. That I have name recognition. What good, bad or indifferent? I have name recognition. Kids coming up now have to be social media, have to be to cut through. And I'm not on social media. My brain doesn't go there or work there. I'm fine. That other people do. I don't have that desire or knack or whatever.

[JB Smoove]

That's your question? That's your question. Seeing the world, right?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And knowing the world that you started in, would you trade places based on everything you've ever done right where you are now, would you trade places right now? If you switch places with a younger person, not just because they're younger and you could be on this planet longer, the journey that you've been on based on this, you know, everything being. It's like making a fucking cake by hand, you know what I mean? You gotta put all the ingredients in that shit right now they make cakes with everything already in it. Just add water. Would you trade the eggs, the milk, the oil, you know, the flour, all the things that go into a real cake. With a cake, you put water in.

[Ted Danson]

No, no.

[JB Smoove]

But they should never eat it.

[Ted Danson]

I'm so grateful for every part of my life, the fuck ups, the cringing moments that I have many of. I would not be with my wife Mary, if anything had changed along the way. I am so blessed. So blessed.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, isn't that something? Yeah, you gotta think about that. Because it's different now, you know, Everything's different. Money's different. The time you have to do it is different. They've come. Everything can be done quick. You know what I mean? Yep. Would a young Ted dancing thrive. You know what? It would be really cool if you had two of yourself. One that lived already and another one. Like a little photo, a little copy of yourself, you know what I mean? A copy of yourself. Just started over right now. And you could watch that little motherfucker move, see how. See if he's. Just watch him and see how different it would be to watch this dude right here in this time period. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's different.

[Ted Danson]

There's something about you for me. You have kindness just radiating out of you. I see you and I want to hug you. I just love you without knowing that much about you because of what you emanate and you emanate. Yeah, whatever put out into the world. And that's also an amazing thing, to be able to be funny and kind. Is it not always a combination that.

[JB Smoove]

Everyone can't get it, but you try to. You try to like, reel people in sometimes. You know what? I think that certain people have a higher tolerance for pain, which is crazy. But people. Some people just have a higher tolerance for pain. And they know how to soothe you. They know how. They know how to tell you that they understand what you're going through. Yeah, some people don't have that. Some people don't have that shit. They make you feel worse. You'll say, man, if you don't get the fuck out my face. Yeah, because you're making me feel horrible right now.

[Ted Danson]

Yep.

[JB Smoove]

But some people know how to.

[Ted Danson]

Some people know how joy vampires.

[JB Smoove]

Some people know how to make you feel better. It's something. It's just something about it, you know?

[Ted Danson]

And I think that's what we're supposed to be doing nowadays.

[JB Smoove]

We're supposed to do this. And you know, I think in what we do, you want people to remember you because you can't. I mean, you gotta say this. You got people to remember you as someone that inspired, someone that made them laugh, someone that made them do everything that they needed for themselves at that time. You know, people. No, you want people to have great stories about you. Good gracious, man. You want people to have good stories because, you know, I do. I do think in some way, everybody. I think the word icon is misused a lot because I think people take the word icon and they attach it to people who are legendary for some reason. You know what I mean? But it's not. Icon means you locked yourself in as something that people can remember.

[Ted Danson]

That's interesting.

[JB Smoove]

That's the better definition for it. Not someone who's so big that they are untouchable. An icon means it's someone that touched you in a way that made you remember who they were in that moment and they become that person for the rest of their life. That's an icon. Someone who gave a fundraiser, someone who made sure they planted seeds all the time with people. That's an icon because they are remembered for what they did and how they were able to be someone that legendary and remembered here and gone. So that's what humor is. I think that's what comedy is. I think that's what shit. We were on a legendary show. Yeah, I'm talking about, you know, how many people I ran into and they say, oh, let my kid watch it. I'm like, what? This little guy right here? It'll be like a six year old kid. I love your character on Curb. I'm like, really?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

But that's, that's what, you know, that's what that journey, man. You know? You know, I took an improv class and shit. It might have been 88, 89 maybe because I wanted to be a comedian. I said, I'm gonna take an improv class and see what this is. This improv thing that I was this New York. Yeah. 44th street and Ninth Avenue. The old improv comedy club.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, wow.

[JB Smoove]

I took a improv class. And literally after that improv class that summer, the club closed down. And I said, oh, shit, I was supposed to get that in. I could have took that class anytime. Or I could have fucked around and thought about taking an improv class. After the club closed, I would had a different teacher. I couldn't even imagine having a different Teacher. What was his name? From sctv? Forgot his fucking name. But that class was great. And literally after my class was done that.

[Ted Danson]

Is this before you'd gotten on stage or were you getting out?

[JB Smoove]

That's the first thing I ever did, was take an improv class.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, that's amazing.

[JB Smoove]

I said, I'm gonna take one just to see how it feels. And have to take the train from Mount Vernon all the way downtown every Saturday. He took that class, man. And I said, I want to see how what this is that I'm doing. That make people laugh in the hallways. That's making my friends laugh. I'm just making up shit with them. But I didn't know the improv rules. I just knew I was just doing crazy stuff and surprising people with stuff. And I think once I realized that I took that class, everything else was clear to me what I wanted to do. But, yeah, and I've done. I did so much stuff, man. A lot of firsts, man, you know, especially in the standup world, you know, short attention span theater on Comedy Central. You talking about one of the first shows they ever had. Apartment. I think I did Apartment 2F. I did Scar Brothers pilot. I did on MTV, one of their first pilots ever on MTV. I. I did so much stuff, man. Chris Rock's show and Chris Rock. Chris Rock's TV show, you guys. Oh, I did that. It's just like, you do all the stuff you can do, and I think being versatile is the number one thing. I used to tell all my friends. I used to tell them, I said, man, don't get stuck just doing clubs.

[Ted Danson]

Thinking there's a way. There isn't a way.

[JB Smoove]

No. Yeah, you gotta. I always told him, I said, do a lot of different stuff. Cause you don't know what's gonna be the one that's gonna. Big one. And also you become more versatile. And I always bounced around and did a bunch of different things, man. I did background work. Shit, man, Me too. I did background work when I first.

[Ted Danson]

Started, and I was thrilled. Get me in front of a camera, even hurting the background, I, man, couldn't care less.

[JB Smoove]

I used to fight. I used to sit there and talk to the directors. I used to try to get a. Get a line. I just want to get a line, man. I just want to get a fucking line. I want to say something, you know? And I was just. And I think all that. All that you had to do.

[Ted Danson]

Curb really did change my life because it reinvigorated my desire to be funny. But I did it I've told this story before, but we watched the pilot of Curb, Mary and I, and we thought. Mary thought it was great. I thought it sucked. I thought it absolutely sucked. And I felt sorry for my new friend, Larry David. So in trying to be encouraging kind of thing, I said, you know, if you ever need us to play ourselves, we'd be happy to. And in that sort of idiocy, you know, I ended up being part of something that changed my life.

[JB Smoove]

Isn't that something?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Yep.

[Ted Danson]

Anyway, come on, do athlete for me. Just for a minute. Cause one of the times we were working, you came hobbling in because Ray Allen had ducked his shoulder and slammed you or something and really fucked you up. But you were an athlete growing up, right?

[JB Smoove]

I mean, I played football, wide receiver in high school, but I didn't take it seriously enough. I was just. I was still in.

[Ted Danson]

But you were good. You had the chops, maybe not the discipline.

[JB Smoove]

I'm good. You know what? Here's what I think happens, too. I'm a better. You would think it would be the other way around, but I'm a smarter athlete now. I wasn't. I was just going on energy, just doing stuff as a wide receiver in high school to the point where I never started because I was playing around too much. I didn't take it serious in the weight room. I was joking around with people having too much fun. The loud dude, you know, or I would skip a workout or whatever it was, man. I got, man, I got. Oh, man, I used to have to. Me and my buddy Todd, rest in peace, man. We lost him over the holidays, man. Me and that dude, we were late every practice, man. We had to stay, like, the team would be released and we would be doing freaking crabbing backwards up hills, man. Cause we were late every day. It was like the craziest thing, man. And he was horrible at freaking being on time. And I would still wait for him because he's my friend. And literally I would wait for him to come out of his building and we would go to practice. And every day we were late going to practice, man. It was unbelievable. But somehow. I don't know. I don't know what that was for. But sticking by that dude, man, and being late every day and not. I don't know what would happen. But if I do my. If I did projections right, my projection would have been. I would have been a New York Jet wide receiver. But that would mean I would have to. I probably would have to have met a different best friend, which is crazy to Think about, right, which is a best friend who was coming downstairs on time, who always said, hey, man, stop joking around so much, man. Let's work out. Let's run the track. Let's do five laps instead of one. And you know what I mean? I think that would have been different.

[Ted Danson]

If you were gone that path. You'd probably now be sitting there with three replacements, you know, so you're here.

[JB Smoove]

With that being said, I think I'm smarter athlete now because I understand the game more. I wasn't just going on, nor the plays. I think I'm smarter now. But if I had this brain, let me say we can go back. If I had this mindset as an athlete back then, oh, man, I would have took the world over. I've been that dude.

[Ted Danson]

Do me basketball.

[JB Smoove]

Basketball. Let me tell you, that game, you know, I've done the All Star game, celebrity game a few times. But you're good.

[Ted Danson]

You can.

[JB Smoove]

Cause I'm good. I talk trash. I know how to get in your.

[Ted Danson]

Head, but physically, you're a good player.

[JB Smoove]

Ray might not admit this, but I got in his head a little bit, I think. I think I got in that man's head a little bit, man. I did get a steal, you know, And I play tough defense. Yeah, and me. Now, look, he's not a huge guy, you know, I'm not a huge guy, but we're the same range as far as weight. No, I ain't a lot of that dude's got muscles. Muscles was crazy. Oh, my God. Like hard. Like hard, not muscular. Just fit. Yeah, fit ass muscles. I said, God damn, this motherfucker's hard. And I would, I would. I started cheating a little bit. Hey, I'm not gonna lie. He's a Hall of Famer. I gotta cheat a little bit. I did grab him a few times.

[Ted Danson]

Was this full court, put a body on him.

[JB Smoove]

Huh? Was this a celebrity basketball game? Damn. I'm chasing this dude all over the goddamn court. And we were winning. We had a good team and they had a great team, but we were winning the game. With a minute something left in the game, you would figure I could have survived the Last minute and 30 seconds. How do you play a game and get hurt the Last minute and 30 seconds, chasing Ray Allen around a freaking hall of Famer. Chasing around the goddamn court. We were up by 14 points. All of a sudden, Ray got hot. Whap, whap. He just started hitting on threes, man. I said, somebody stop him. So I sat on the bench, I said, man, I Gotta get back in the game. He needs somebody to get in his goddamn head and make him fuck his confidence up a little bit. I got back in that game, man. I started chasing that dude all over the place, man. I didn't give a damn. I had to hold his shorts. I was cheating. I didn't give a fuck, man. You know, I'm wrapping my arm around his arm like I'm putting a body on him and everything, man. Woo. That's where the football came in. That's where the football. That's where the football history came in. I started putting the body on him a little bit. He started running around. Then they cut it down to four points. That was a four point lead with a few, like a minute left. I said, come on, man, we win this game. We got this game, man. So I said, let me get on Ray. Let me cause some trouble, man. I chased Ray all over the place and he ran into the corner and you know that's his favorite shot from the corner from this, man. I chased that dude full speed. He got away from me. I got picked off and I ran around the dude and I chased him and I said, man, sometimes if you can't block the shot, you gotta put your hand in their face. And I jumped in the air like this to try to make him miss. And man, when I was going up and I started coming down, he was going up to shoot and his whole shoulder caught me right here. Boom.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, my God.

[JB Smoove]

Knocked the air out of me, man. Have you ever had the air knocked out of you?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, I have.

[JB Smoove]

That's not a good feeling. No, people use that as a metaphor too. People always say, knock the air, Ray out of me. People say that all the time. But have you ever felt the air knocked out of your. I didn't know if I was going to survive. Wow. The life came out of me, man. I saw myself, a version of myself standing next to me. Said, he fucked you up. No, my life came out of me. Not my life came out of me. Yo, your lung is something, man.

[Ted Danson]

You need him.

[JB Smoove]

He caught me right there with that shoulder, man. That little hard ass he had. Fucking like his shoulders were like two bocce balls on his shoulders.

[Ted Danson]

Now, do you think he knew what he was doing or was it an accident? I think he was being competitive, man.

[JB Smoove]

Look, he's competitive. It's gotta be a little competitive. The man's retired. He, you know, he was killing us. He was killing us. Now, we still won the game. Listen, you win the game, you lose the war. And Believe me, my ribs lost that war.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, you were out for a while. From Curb, if I remember.

[JB Smoove]

Man, I'll tell you what I did. This is crazy how we don't think we hurt enough. We just think, you know what everybody says when they get hurt? Oh, that's gonna hurt in the morning.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And believe me, that hurt in the morning. I couldn't get out of bed, man. You. Yo, I thought a truck hit my ass, man. I didn't know I was hurt. I just thought I pulled a little something.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, So I went to the hotel gift shop, got some Motrin. Loaded up on those Motrin, man. Took a few Motrins. Yo, you were a thought. Nothing happened to me, yo, it's amazing what that.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, it worked.

[JB Smoove]

What? It worked like I didn't get hurt at all. Isn't that weird medicine? But wait a minute. Mask the pain.

[Ted Danson]

But weren't you out for a while?

[JB Smoove]

No, I'm getting through that part. So this is me. I'm still at All Star Weekend. Oh.

[Ted Danson]

Oh.

[JB Smoove]

I got hurt. I took some motions, and I was already scheduled for several things. Cause I was there. I did. I had a private party, my own party for All Star Weekend. Then I had I do the Legends Brunch, the monologue for the Legends brunch. And I was a little pain. So it was a sports doctor there. I said, hey, man, you know, I got this. I hurt myself the other day. But, you know, who told. Man, we was on a bus going back to the hotel, and one of the. One of my teammates told me it was. It's probably just a contusion. A contusion? He said, contusion. Probably just a contusion.

[Ted Danson]

Those don't hurt. Contusions.

[JB Smoove]

Contusions, man. I ended up doing the party. I ended up doing the. So at the Legends Brunch, they had a sports doctor. I said. I told him what happened to me. Oh. He said, oh. He said, well, you know, a lot of guys, you know, all these legends in the room, they all got knee problems and back problems. So he had a little bag. He said, I'll give you some Motrin. Six or more. 600 milligrams. Good gracious, man. 600 milligrams, man. I said, what? I said, I got the ones in the hotel. It was like. Like 100. He said, no. He said, that ain't. That ain't. This right here, you won't feel for a week. I said, what? He gave me a few of those. He said, here, take a few Take a few with you. You gotta travel. You gotta travel and stuff. He said, when you get back to the States to see a doctor is, you know, man, I did that. I took that 600 milligrams, man. I felt like 100 million bucks, man. Did not know I was. How hurt I was. Ended up doing the whole weekend, did the party, did everything. Got on the plane to go back. All right. And dozed off on the plane. Dozed off on the plane, you know. Didn't take the. Didn't take the 600 milligrams. I went to sleep, man. I woke up, I couldn't move. I said, oh, I moved a little bit. I said, oh, fuck. I had to use the bathroom, you know.

[Ted Danson]

You know, I do. I know. You had to pee.

[JB Smoove]

I had to pee, man. And I was looking around, I was like, fuck, how do I get up and not look like I'm fucked up? Cause I didn't wanna look like that. No. But I knew by sitting there. I couldn't. It was hurting so bad. So I said, I just, like. I grabbed the back of the chair in front of me. I just got up and I just walked real slow to the bathroom and played it off. I was in. I mean, the pain was unbearable. I got in the bathroom, closed the door, locked it, looked in the mirror and said, fuck, fuck, not right now, God damn it.

[Ted Danson]

I couldn't, man, take a breath.

[JB Smoove]

I took 1, 600. I said, man, maybe it'll kick in before I land. I slowly made it back to my chair, sat there, landed, landed. And I said, I'm gonna call my doctor right away. Called my doctor and said, hey, man, I got injured playing basketball. But the doctor gave me a 600 milligrams. He said, you know what? Go get an X ray. I go to go get an X ray, and the dude comes out from giving me an X ray, and he sent it to the doctor. Doctor calls me right around my phone. He said, go immediately to the emergency room. Your lung is full to capacity with fluid. So internally, my fucking lung was full of fucking blood and fucking wow.

[Ted Danson]

Blood.

[JB Smoove]

My whole. He said, your lung is full.

[Ted Danson]

Wow.

[JB Smoove]

Said, your left lung is full. Go immediately to the emergency room. I go there. I said, oh. So I go to the emergency. My wife takes me to the emergency room. And the guy says, hey, your doctor already called me. I need you to sit on this. Sit on this. This gurney. He said, turn your back. He said, grab the edge of that. That little table. He said, grab that and don't turn around. I said, oh, he said, I got to drain your. Your. Your. Your lung. Big old needle, this needle? Yeah, that's what the fuck this is. Yeah, right here. That's how fucking big the needle was. The needle was damn near big as a coke straw. Hear me? He said, turn around, man. He said, you don't want to see this. I said, then he had a. He had a. A beaker, like sitting here, a tube in the beaker, but it was a big one. Big ass beaker like this. And he took that fucking needle. I saw the holes attached to the needle. And he said. He wiped it with some, you know, prepped it. He said, all right, man, hold on. Cause this is gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt. Took that needle, put that needle straight through my back into my lung. Wow. And hit that little button and that shit started pulling the liquid out of my lung. And this thing, this beaker started filling up with freaking blood. It was fucking crazy.

[Ted Danson]

And you saw the beaker. This wasn't.

[JB Smoove]

He shouldn't have left that there. He should have not. That should not be in your view. Like I was making a milkshake or some shit. Like a strawberry milkshake in this motherfucker. I said, why don't you leave that shit right there? Wait, wait. I said, wait a minute, man. I was joking around a little bit. I said, wait a minute. So you don't want me to see the fucking needle, but you wanted me to see what the fuck is coming out of my lung. Why is this better than this? It's like it's just filling up with fucking red liquid. Like, really? So it fills up. He said, man, we're gonna have to keep you from the hospital for a few days. So I ended up being.

[Ted Danson]

To make sure it didn't fill up again.

[JB Smoove]

No, no, it has to. I have to. They have to see what's going to happen. Yeah. So ended up staying in the hospital for a few days, three days. They had to keep draining my draining mind. So I had a tube in my back, in my lung that could drain it because they were trying to talk me into opening me up for surgery. I said, nah, man, you are not cutting me open. So you got to find another way to fix this shit. So find another way to fix it, man. So I got out. They gave me some medications, they slowed down. I get out the hospital, another three days, go to. I don't know what the fuck I was doing. See, this is a cockiness of people. I get out the hospital, I go to a friend's wedding a day or two after I got out the hospital. And I get to that, then I get to the wedding, you know, doing regular shit, sitting down there, chilling, relaxing, having drinks, toasting my friend. And all of a sudden I couldn't breathe. I was sitting there like, what the fuck is going on? I got a little dizzy, couldn't breathe. Then I went, I said, let me call the doctor. Call the doctor. He said, man, go back to the emergency room again. I go back, he did another X ray. He said, you have twice as much fluid in your lung as you did the first time.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, my God.

[JB Smoove]

Motherfucker said, sit down, man. I'm sorry. That fucking beaker down that goddamn needle again. I said, I don't believe this shit, man. He said, I did it again, Bow. Filled one up, took it away, put another empty one up there and filled that shit up again. I love the sound effects, but here's the crazy part. Did not tell me that as it gets lower and lower, you're going to feel excruciating pain. Didn't tell me that shit, yo. It's like. It's like someone took my freaking lung and crumbled it up.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, jeez.

[JB Smoove]

Like a fucking piece of paper. It felt, yo, I almost passed out. I said, yo. I said, yo, it's painful. He said, oh, I should have told you that the second beaker is going to be painful. Yo, man, I thought I was. No, I said, yo. I said, yo, I'm going to black out. I can't fucking hold it. That's how painful it was. He said, okay, okay, I'm going to stop. Then he stops it. And I was in the hospital for 11 days. Wow. With a freaking b. A valve on my back to keep draining my freaking lung. So this is.

[Ted Danson]

Like four or five years ago maybe or something.

[JB Smoove]

I can't remember. Yeah, maybe pre pandemic. So probably about Ray Allen.

[Ted Danson]

I hope he's listening to this. The pain he caused you.

[JB Smoove]

I called him, told him what happened, but that's the death. Come on, man. I mean, I'm only 185. What am I, 185? 180. That's probably 180, man.

[Ted Danson]

You realize these top notch athletes, how competitive they are, they don't lose. They do not.

[JB Smoove]

But it was a great experience. But that's, that's part of being, you know, I'm a little. I'm a little cocky too, when it comes to sports. I'm a little. I'm a little aggressive. I'm a little cocky because I like to. I like to play.

[Ted Danson]

If your Thanksgiving doesn't include a Birdzilla or regularly end with a food fight like in the Cheers Thanksgiving Orphans episode, consider it a success. The image of that giant bird replays again and again. In my mind. That scene was actually fun to shoot. We had to do it in one take because it would have taken two hours to clean up after us. See your favorite movies and shows for what feels like the first time with Samsung oled. Samsung OLED immerses you in brighter details and more vivid colors. The AI powered processor upscales even lower res older content to brilliant 4K resolution so clear that you might be able to spot Norm's wife if you look close enough. You see what I'm doing here, right? With all the Cheers references, experience colors as they're meant to be seen. Samsung OLED is the only OLED TV validated by the industry. Leading color experts at Pantone really makes that Thanksgiving scene look a lot more appetizing. Say big on Samsung OLED TVs for the holidays? Learn more at samsung.com OLED upscaling utilizes AI based algorithms. Viewing experience may vary based on types of content and format. Okay, I'm starting to take a look at who I need to buy gifts for for the family. So this is kind of perfect. Quince they have winter stuff coming up now and I have experienced how good they are because I got a Mongolian cashmere zip up sweater that is actually stunning and ridiculously inexpensive. I mean, almost hard to believe. Quince it lets you treat your loved ones and yourself to everyday luxury at an affordable price. That's true. They're super soft fleece sweatpants. I have not tried them, but I'm going to after reading this. Are a major upgrade to whatever you're lounging in right now. And they're packable puffer jackets. You live in la, you're going to New York and you don't have that much room in your suitcase. It's a packable winter jacket perfect for anyone who's traveling for the holidays. Gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag. Go to quince.com tedandwoody for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q U I n c e.com TedAndWoody to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com TedAndWoody I wish Woody were here. Woody is one of the most competitive human beings I've ever met in my life.

[JB Smoove]

Tell you something. I love that dude. Yeah, I love that. I love that dude, shout out. Oh, shout out to Woody, man. I love that dude, man. Oh, he has to invited me to his. That bar. His bar? You went to the bar?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, yeah, the woods. The woods. Let's give it a shout out. Amazing Dispensary. And bar.

[JB Smoove]

And bar. And don't fucking tree houses. Yeah, yeah, tree houses inside the restaurant. How do you do that?

[Ted Danson]

I don't know, but that's where I met Paul McCartney, was there. The woods. So, yeah. Forever fond of the woods.

[JB Smoove]

See, now who's one of your. Who's one of your idols? Like someone you would look at and say, was he like on the list? Like, oh my God, this is.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, yes. No, of course, of course. Yeah, of course. Oh my God. And Mary, my wife Mary became a, you know, a 14 year old teenager. Oh, man, she couldn't barely contain herself.

[JB Smoove]

We went to SNL 40 and we just, you know, we ran into so many cool people. My wife loves Prince.

[Ted Danson]

God, I watched that. That was an amazing show.

[JB Smoove]

Oh, man, to be there.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

I'm talking about legendary people sitting there, man. It's like unbelievable. Who's in that room?

[Ted Danson]

The best part about whatever success we've both had is the ability to be able to meet some of those people, you know, it's amazing who you've got to meet.

[JB Smoove]

I told you the story. One time I was in Craig's restaurant and was sitting there having dinner with friends. And several times I've ran into people there and there's always legendary people. One time I was sitting there and the maitre d, he's really cool. He loves the shit out of me. Every time someone famous comes in, he brings them over to my table and makes me say hi to them. Cindy Poitier walked in there and went, oh, God.

[Ted Danson]

One of the most elegant human beings on the planet.

[JB Smoove]

How do you get that? Elegant? How do you get that? I mean, he's elegant. I mean, he was like elegant. Like really. You feel him on your skin before you even see him. He said, somebody came in here, somebody came in the restaurant. You turn around, fucking Sydney. Porch your head, you almost hear his voice.

[Ted Danson]

That was one of my great thrills.

[JB Smoove]

Hey, jb, you know, you know Sydney, I said, oh, I fucking love you, man. Yes, I know. Jb, how are you, jb, I love your work. I said, holy shit. Fucking Sydney Poitier. Then he took me to the one time he took me to the table with. It was a crazy mixture of people. It was like Don Rickles, John Mayer and Bob sagging at the same Fucking table. And he took me over there. He said. He said, you know Rickles? I said, I never fucking met Rickles. I would love to meet Don Rickles. So I went over there, man. He said, hey, hey, Don. Is it JB Smooth comedian. I said, hello, sir. And I gave him a little. I gave him a little shit. I don't know what I said to.

[Ted Danson]

Him, but, man, did he open the gates.

[JB Smoove]

That man proceeded to rip me a.

[Ted Danson]

New asshole and make you laugh at the same time.

[JB Smoove]

I'm sitting there like, holy shit. First thing I said was, let me ask you a question, man. I don't mean no disrespect, but what the fuck are you three guys doing together?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Like, what the fuck is John Mayer doing here?

[Ted Danson]

That's a good question.

[JB Smoove]

John Mayer, fucking Bob Saget and fucking Don Rickles. What the fuck are you three. It's like three age groups here. Like, what the fuck are you three guys doing together? I couldn't believe it. But it was. It was like. He just ripped me, man. It was so fun. And then, man, Bob, man, let me tell you. I already knew John. Cause I did something with him on Funny or Die. Yeah, but Bob Saget, man, it's like, you ever met somebody that you was supposed to meet a long time ago?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[JB Smoove]

You know, I was supposed to meet this dude a long time ago, man. Like, we started kicking it and talking, man. It was so. It was so like. I don't know how it works, man, but I do know sometimes you're supposed to meet people earlier than you met them. And then I was in Detroit doing a fundraiser. And in my hotel were, like, the Golden State Warriors. They were playing Detroit. All the Golden State warriors were there. I ran into, like, Steph Curry, and everybody was there. Yeah, Even Legend. And they were honoring the legendary Detroit Piston guys, You know, Wallace and. Yeah, man, it was ripped. And all those guys were there in the same hotel. And then Bob Saget was there doing a. Doing a show that weekend. I'm in the lobby kicking it, and he walks up to me and say, hey, man. I said, oh, we hugged. We hugged each other. We took selfies with each other, man. It was almost like. It's crazy, man. We stood there for, like, 30 minutes talking, like, laughing our asses off, talking about silliest shit ever. Like, nothing we talked about was gonna change the world.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

But in that moment, it felt like we were, like, doing something for each other. And you supposed to have that.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You supposed to have that moment. I don't know how it works, but, man, I was so happy that I met him that day at Craig's. So happy. We ran into each other again. And, man, it was nuts though, man. I was like, yo, he said, man, we gotta take the wives out to dinner one night. I said, man, we gotta do that, man. Oh my God, we'll have a blast. And we're laughing our asses off at shit just like. Just at us, at each other, not like anything else going on around us. But man, that's so genuine. And look, you got something in common, but the shit that you don't count, that you got in common is not important in that moment. We didn't even talk about stand up one time. We talked about life kindred. We just talk about life and us, we talked about who we like, what makes us tick for 30 minutes. Is that crazy? We didn't stand up one time. All we said was why we were in town. Oh, we mentioned the. Yeah, I'm doing a. I'm doing a gig over here. See, I'm doing this fundraiser over here. And after that was just a cool ass combo.

[Ted Danson]

That's so wonderful.

[JB Smoove]

Regular ass, regular shit, husband shit, kids shit. Regular stuff that we really go through that defines who we are, that really matters more than anything.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

So if anybody out there thinks that, you know, this is a job we do that doesn't require work like this lottery, or we just fucking just do something for nothing. We are regular ass people. Me and that man proceeded to be friends and he would send me. I could pull his messages up right now and I save everything. So what I do on my phone is every time I lose somebody next to their name, I write rip. So when I'm scrolling for somebody's number, I always stop and go, oh, shit, that must have hurt, Rip, man, that must have hurt. I got a lot of rips in my phone, so I just try to keep them, their memory in my brain while I'm scrolling through. Yeah, I put rip, man, you know, with a heart or whatever. But that keeps me thinking about what was unique about them. You know what I mean?

[Ted Danson]

It's a great idea.

[JB Smoove]

So, yeah, so, man, we went back and forth so many times trying to plan this damn dinner with the wives. And I felt horrible that we never got it done because it was supposed to happen. You know what I mean? Now you know, more. More than likely our wives would have got mad at us because we'd have been fucking talking like crazy. You go out with a friend of yours and you're having a dinner with all four of you, and you end up talking and the ladies end up having their own combo.

[Ted Danson]

Yes.

[JB Smoove]

But, man, that's what would have happened.

[Ted Danson]

Two of my. Sidney Poitier was just. I got to meet him twice. Married, worked with his daughter Sydney. His daughter Sidney. And oh, my God, it was like he was sitting. I got down on my knees and I just sat there talking to him for about 20 minutes. And it was like a blessing to my life. And the other person was Gregory Peck. I got to hug Gregory Peck. And this all came through my wife, Mary. But it was just. They're two of the most elegant gentlemen in our business.

[JB Smoove]

And some people you meet that are not elegant, but somehow they touch the hell out of you.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, yeah. The elegant part is not necessary, but. But their elegance was their spirit. It wasn't like how they dressed or talked.

[JB Smoove]

That's what I'm saying. It was something about. It's something that. Man, I ran into Lee Majors, man, the Six Million Dollar Man. I thought I was going to lose my shit, man. I've never seen Lee Majors. $6 million, man. In person. I said, oh, shit, That's Lee Major. $6 million, man. All I'm thinking about is $6 million, man. Like, yo, it's Lee Majors, man. Cause he's a part of my. You know. Same thing with Bob Einstein. Look, man. Super Dave. Come on, man.

[Ted Danson]

Unbelievable.

[JB Smoove]

Unbelievable.

[Ted Danson]

My hero. Growing up in. Once I wanted to start acting was Dick Van Dyke. And I got to hang around him and get to know him a little bit. And it was one of the great joys of my life. I grew up without a TV. The first time I turned on a TV, that was mine, and it was age 20 at college. And I turned it on at 11 in the morning, and there was a. Literally, there was Dick Van Dyke tripping over the ottoman. And I went, oh, see, I. I want some of that.

[JB Smoove]

People. Well, those who see my standup know that I'm a tremendous physical standup, you know, guy. I love physicality because I like to present something. It's kind of like the reversal of, you know, show and tell. I tell and show.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

So that's my order of things. So for me, I love the physical. I love Dick Pitts.

[Ted Danson]

And it's the athlete in know who.

[JB Smoove]

Was a really good physical guy, but I don't think he got remembered for it was Larry Hagman.

[Ted Danson]

That's interesting.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah. Let me tell you something. When he would be in a scene and Jeannie would blink her ass in his Pocket.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

And he would see Jeannie and her pocket. Yo, man, in his pocket. I would holler. I thought it was the funniest ever, man. You watch those old Genie episodes and how brilliant this dude was, man. Like, he was. Yo. His physicality, he's. Of course, he's. He's remembered for Dallas more than anything. But, man, that dude on Genie was hilarious. And. And I love Peter Sellers. Wow. Peter Sellers.

[Ted Danson]

I mean, the Panther series and before that. I mean, he's always been.

[JB Smoove]

I got a wide range of what inspires me. People understand that comedians, we are inspired by more than just other comedians, you know? Of course, I love Pryor. I love Fox. You know, George Carlin was one that really turned it. I mean, I love Bill Cosby. I love everybody.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

You know, but these are people who I actually couldn't believe in. I was in awe of these people because I found them. And Andy Griffith show was one of my favorite shows.

[Ted Danson]

He was astounding. He was.

[JB Smoove]

You think I would have been. Let me ask you a question. You think I would have been a good Barney Fife?

[Ted Danson]

I think you could do anything you set your mind to, to be honest.

[JB Smoove]

Great Barney Fife. I'd have been a great Barney. Barney Fife. You know what I mean?

[Ted Danson]

Talk about funny.

[JB Smoove]

Talk about. I ran into him one day.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, you did?

[JB Smoove]

Holy, man. See, sometimes. I'm telling you, man, you. You see. No, I'm talking about. I was a. I'm a huge Andy Griffith show fan. I mean, I watch it now. I watch it now. Oh, it holds 10 in a row. And I sit there and watch it like a school girl, laughing my ass off. I'm from North Carolina, you know. You know, this show is supposed to be based in. In North Carolina. Anyway, I'm a North Carolina kid, you know, I grew up, you know, I know. I know everything they're doing. I know everything. Those characters, those people. I know everything about that show, and I'm not even on the show, but I knew everything about that life. Being a country guy, man, that show. Brilliant, man. I'm talking about you. And I was in the Comedy Store one night, and somebody said, hey, man, you know, Don Knotts is over there. I said, get the fuck out of here. I said, get the fuck out of here. Yeah, he's sitting back there, and he was sitting there. He was older, of course, but he was sitting in a booth. He had a lady with him, probably like an aide or something like that or, you know, whatever assistant with him. He's sitting there watching the show, and I Said I had to do it. I said, if I don't meet this dude, I'll forgive myself. I walked over to his table, I said, hey, man, Mr. Knotts, I'm a fucking huge fan. I just want to show you your love, man. Because, man, you fucking incredible. I love everything you did. That's all I want to say, man. He said, oh, he said, thank you so much. You know, you soft spoken, man. You know, definitely old, older and you know what I mean? But appreciative. He smiled like, you know, and I was the only guy that walked up to him and sit there. I said, I gotta, I gotta. I said, I'm sorry, man. I just gotta tell you how amazing you are, you know?

[Ted Danson]

Don't you love being part of the lineage of funny people? I. Nothing makes me feel more. No matter where I am in that lineage, I am so grateful to be part of those funny people.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

You know, I got to meet Mel Brooks, you know.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Carl Reiner, all those people, you know, Mary Tyler Moore.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Just such an amazing lineage of people.

[JB Smoove]

Now, is it different for you when. Because they have amazing people, amazing comics and actors who are, you know, brilliant, but they're too close in age to you. You know what I mean? Is it a different level of. You know what I mean?

[Ted Danson]

Do you put them down?

[JB Smoove]

Do you put them on Mount Rushmore or if they're too close to your age? No.

[Ted Danson]

I mean, I've cut myself out of so many relationships because I'm such a dink. Because, like, John Krasinski, who's one of my great. John and Emily, great friends. But I refuse to watch the Office for the longest time because I just knew it was fucking great. And I wasn't quite willing to let great into my life. It was after Cheers and all of that, and it's insane. I did the same thing with Everybody Loves Raymond. Brilliant fucking show. And I didn't let it in because it was competitive in my brain. Something.

[JB Smoove]

How do you. How do you gauge that? It's hard because, you know, me and Chris Rock, we're like, what, the same age? Almost. But this dude is so freaking good. All his specials were freaking. I just sit there like this when he used to do the Machine Gun style, walking back and forth, tapping the microphone in his hand. Yo, man, I'm sitting there like, oh, he's killing this shit. He's killing this shit.

[Ted Danson]

Boom, boom, boom.

[JB Smoove]

And you walk back and forth, man, that Chris Rock, you couldn't. Yo, man, you couldn't. You were like blown out your seat. Because the rhythm and the pace of it forced your laughter. It forced you to keep up. And, man, that dude was killer. Now it's hard because I got amazing friends who are fucking amazing, but because they're so close in age to me and we're still doing it, you can't help but compare. You can't help but say, oh, do I mix them in with my legends that I love? Do I take out who do I take off this freaking Mount Rushmore? Do I take off Pryor? You know what I mean? What do I do here? These are. I think we are. We judge things by how they affected us in our upbringing and inspired us to do what we do. Yeah, but do you put people who are killing it?

[Ted Danson]

I do that with athletes because I do that with athletes. When Magic Johnson retired, I refused to let anyone else in after that. I just love that man and watching him play so much that I just.

[JB Smoove]

Have a hard time with the Chappelles. The Chris rocks. All these amazing people who I love, but I can't say they inspired me. I can only say that I respect them because they are fucking dope. But, man, the people who really like. Oh, man, when I saw Don Knottson, when I saw Richard Pryor one time, I was like, this Richard Pryor right there, man.

[Ted Danson]

I think you go back to the little boy in you. You do that, you know, and it's hard to do that with your contemporaries, you know, you can't. Can't do that kind of perspective.

[JB Smoove]

You can't do it, man. Cause they're too close in age to you. Holy shit. We're the same for you, like a year or two apart. It's like, how do you put your contemporaries in the same sentence as these people who inspired you on your way up? It's like, you can't. As amazing as they are. Something like you said, what you said earlier. You said that I couldn't watch the fucking. I couldn't fucking accept it because I got a show, too. And I'm like, why would I watch this bullshit? No disrespect, but why would I watch that shit? It's competition. As amazing as it is, it competes with what I do. And I can be supportive, but I don't gotta be consumed by this shit to the point where I'm like, God damn it, what's that people say? What about subliminal shit? Cause you are still in the race. You're still in the fucking race.

[Ted Danson]

No, differently, though. I have to say, there was a. I'm 76. When I was in my late 60s, there was part of me that would feel like, oh, I'm still a player. I can compete. And then I started realizing when I'd hang out with really funny, younger, fast, fast, bright people, I could. And there'd be a conversation around, just zinging around the jokes. I could go. I go, here's the joke. I don't know what it is, but I know where the joke is supposed to be. Right, But I don't quite know what it is, but.

[JB Smoove]

Right. Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

That's when I kind of decided to enjoy my younger, brighter, funnier friends as opposed to feel like, oh, I have to not compete, but I have to be like them. It's okay to now admire people.

[JB Smoove]

I think it's one of those.

[Ted Danson]

Can I just say I was scared to death because I listened to some of your episodes here and there, and you are so. Before this episode. Oh, yeah. Today.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

You are so bright, fast, funny. I mean, literally, I thought, what if he's just pure that way? You were on Conan sometimes. What do I do? How do I try to fit that in? Do I slip him something in his drink to slow him. Yeah. Should have had some of that. What's it called? Motrin or whatever.

[JB Smoove]

600 milligrams of motrin. God damn. Yo, you get 600 milligrams, man, you can't even. Yo, you can't even be a pain in the ass at 600 milligrams. God damn it. That shit works, man. 600 milligrams. Shit, man, that's. That ain't playing. But I think, man, look, this is. This is deep because. And this is the kind of stuff that I like to talk about, because, you know, people always say, people gotta like you to like what you do. It's just what it is, you know? And I think that in the entertainment world, we. Man, come on. Come on, man. Ted Danson, you are fucking legendary. You're a fucking legend.

[Ted Danson]

Maybe not iconic, but.

[JB Smoove]

No.

[Ted Danson]

Legendary?

[JB Smoove]

No. Are you kidding me? No. That show is iconic.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, it is.

[JB Smoove]

It's iconic. You don't know how many shows were in your. Come on, man. You talking about a kid. You talk about somebody who loved Cheers. Love Cheers. But I also love, like, WKRP and Cincinnati. I love Brilliant. I can name a hundred shows that I freaking loved. But you don't. You don't have to put them in order. Just gotta fucking love what you love.

[Ted Danson]

I know.

[JB Smoove]

You don't gotta put anything in order. People, we get caught up in putting ourselves in order with Other shit, that's good. So it's good. But you can't, you know, I mean, you can't push it in order.

[Ted Danson]

People ask me, who are my heroes? It's the last person I saw last night do some performance I've never seen before in my life. That's, you know, that's what it is.

[JB Smoove]

That's what it is. So I don't, you know, look, I will say, you know, any given night, anybody could be amazing. Yep. It didn't rain that day, you know, everything went perfect. They got a cab to the club, you know. Oh, a good crowd in here tonight. You know what I mean? The microphone sounds strong, you know what I mean? The lighting. Oh, good lighting today. Oh, shit. This is a great. And everything seems to be perfect. And you just had the most brilliant show you ever had because other shit happened and other shit didn't happen. And that's just how I think life is. That's how careers are, I think, you know, look, man, I don't compare myself to anybody, but I know any given night I can catch it. I can fucking hit that motherfucking stage and find a window. And, man, if you are allowed to do you continuously and you catch that, all green lights, man, you can murder anything. Movie, tv, stand up, anything you want to do. Drama, it don't fucking matter. The right director, the right vehicle, the right everything, it all just comes in a certain way. Curb. I wasn't supposed to be on Curb. I don't even know my story. I wasn't supposed to be on Curb. I was working on snl, man. I had to do things. See, people are. I think people are afraid to make moves all the time. You gotta know what the fuck you do in order for you to have movement in whatever you want to do and you find to be amazing about yourself and what you do in particular. Man, I had to fire an agent, fire a manager. I had to fire people. Knowing this is when I was a writer on SNL. Now, I went there, I went on SNL. I actually auditioned for SNL, you know, 04. You know, I was only at 045 and 06, but I auditioned for a cast member, made it to the. To the NBC test, so myself, Finesse Mitchell and Kenan Thompson, we were the last three left, right? So I had to actually audition. So I actually made it there. Didn't. Didn't get cast member, went back to la, came back here and literally got a phone call a week later saying, hey, you know, we picked Ken and Finesse, but would you be interested in coming in as a writer? I could have said, fuck no. I want cast member, bitch.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Fuck, I want to go there and write for other motherfuckers for. I'm a comedian. I'm JB Smooth. I could have been that dude and said, no. But you know what I said? I said, fuck that. This might look good on my resume. Cause I truly believe in planting seeds for whatever.

[Ted Danson]

You don't know.

[JB Smoove]

You don't know what. You know what I mean?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Same thing with taking that improv class. I put that little improv thing in my toolbox and said, someday that shit gonna matter.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Know where you.

[JB Smoove]

Could you imagine if I never took the improv class or I never did this or never did that, and I end up on the greatest improv show ever. Corporate enthusiasm. How do you even. How does that even. Does it? It might still happen. I don't know. But I do believe that you gotta know what you do and what value you have. So 0, 4, 5, and 6. I did the show as a writer. I did Conan's show when he was still at NBC probably 10 times. I did Conan O'Brien as a writer. He would call upstairs and say, hey, can we borrow jb? I would go down there and do a sketch and come back upstairs. I did Warmup on the show. I did all that stuff. But that being said, I had to. My third season on snl, I couldn't take it. I said, nah, man, I gotta get the fuck outta here. I gotta fucking get rid of some pieces here. That slowing me down, that I felt like was slowing me down. Got rid of my agent. And I knew if I fire my agent, I am not gonna be coming back to this show. Cause I have nobody to speak for me. Agents keep you on shows because that's their job. They keep you on shows and they get commissioned. That's how it works. I said, man, fuck this. I said, I don't care. I believe in what I do and I know I'll find something else. I said, I know if I fire this agent, they are not going to fight for me and I'm not going to be back on this show. And lo and behold, I fired my agent and I did not get renewed. So when I did not get renewed, I said, you know, that opened the floodgates. First of all, my wife told me I was going to be on the show. That's one thing. And then everything else kind of fell into place. So I wasn't even supposed to be on the show. But I go Back. I won't tell the whole story, but I will say I went. It just shows you that you gotta make chess moves somehow and you gotta trust the process and trust what you do and what you bring to something in order for you to get there and do it to the highest expectations, you know. Otherwise you're just stuck. And you will blame a bad decision if you don't show up and back up that bad experience.

[Ted Danson]

You have to be willing. You have to know where you want to go, but have to be willing not to. Not to dictate what the steps should be in advance. Allow stuff to come out of left field. And as long as you know where you're going, it'll fit in.

[JB Smoove]

Right, but exactly, because in my case, if anything is out of order, it changes everything. Let's just say my wife, you know, she didn't say I was going to be on the show. That's to the universe. That's different.

[Ted Danson]

Say.

[JB Smoove]

Let's just say I didn't fire my manager. Let's just say I didn't fire my agent and I was still on the show. I would have missed that little window, let's just say. And then my buddy passed away. I had to come to LA for one day for memorial service, and that memorial service got me here in that window. One day I was here. And that one day that I went to my new agent's office and ended up getting an audition for Kirby Enthusiasm.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, God, I love that.

[JB Smoove]

Now what if my buddy didn't pass away?

[Ted Danson]

I hope you said thank you to your buddy who passed away, because.

[JB Smoove]

No, this is so weird. That season, season six, I got on the show, the rap party. My friend was a producer. He did this Is How We do it, the song. And then I started saying, this is how. That's how I dose it on the show. And then lo and behold, at the rap party, the theme song for the freaking gag wheel.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, God, I love that.

[JB Smoove]

This is how we do it. So I said, holy shit. I just pointed to the sky because if any one of those things is out of order, I'm not on the show. I am not on Kirby enthusiasm because there's no. I would have never heard about it if they had renewed me. If my buddy didn't pass away, I wouldn't be in LA for that one day. All these things had to happen. And I say that because we are all part of our own journey and how we choose to move. But if we don't have character, if we don't have, you know, all these Other intangibles that we need outside of talent. It doesn't work anyway.

[Ted Danson]

I have really good agent. I have a really, really good manager. They're friends. I have really great angels, you know, I really do believe that. Yeah.

[JB Smoove]

Somebody is watching out for everything you do. It's crazy. You gotta have it, man. I think you attract those angels somehow you attract them to you based on little things that you do. And I think you get, like, chips. It's like poker almost. It's like. You know what I mean? You're gambling.

[Ted Danson]

Really?

[JB Smoove]

You are gambling who you are. It's like you put those chips on that table and you just like. Sometimes you're all. You're all. Sometimes you're all in. You gotta be all in. Sometimes. You gotta trust that you fucking gonna win. No matter what obstacle comes your way. Cause you have a high tolerance for bullshit. You know you got a high tolerance. Bullshit. You can figure it out. If you can keep your mind and keep your senses and don't panic. I tell young people all the time, you know, I do a lot of speaking at the Boys and Girls Club. Boys and Girls Club, kid. If you can keep your. If you can keep your sanity and just relax and let it go, you can figure your way out of anything.

[Ted Danson]

That's true.

[JB Smoove]

And your decisions you make won't feel so detrimental to anything. You won't feel like you fucked up. You feel like this is just a move, but somehow this is gonna make sense. Somehow. But you better believe in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, none of this shit works.

[Ted Danson]

And you better come from love and not fear. Because if you make decisions out of fear.

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, man. Cause you can crumble quick and blame yourself not succeeding on something else that has nothing to do with anything you're trying to do. Isn't that shit crazy?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Hey.

[JB Smoove]

We deep.

[Ted Danson]

We are deep.

[JB Smoove]

We fucking. We so deep. And you know what? This is crazy. And you said it earlier. This is the first time. Although we cast members, we got personal lives, we do our shit and we go the fuck home. Yeah. This is the first time we really, like, dove into life. I know.

[Ted Danson]

I can't tell you how much I enjoy you. I can't tell you it makes sense. Because before I knew anything about you, all I wanted to do was hug you. You have such a. Whatever, kindness, happiness, joy, funniness about you that all I really wanted to do every time I saw you was hug you. What do I know about jbc?

[JB Smoove]

We all so love to each other.

[Ted Danson]

Nothing.

[JB Smoove]

First of all. First of all, look, you can't deny that we're both long, lean, long faced guys. You fucking look good.

[Ted Danson]

Yes, that is exactly what it is.

[JB Smoove]

We walk into a room, people turn the fuck around. Is that Ted Danson or jb? Fucking smooth.

[Ted Danson]

I don't know.

[JB Smoove]

I love you man. I love you man. We did this today.

[Ted Danson]

Me too.

[JB Smoove]

Happy did this, man. This is fun.

[Ted Danson]

Ladies and gentlemen, that's JB Smoove. Thank you so much for coming in, jb. Oh, by the way, JB is the host of a new business competition show on Prime Video and it's called Buy It Now. So check it out. That's it for this week. Hello to Woody and special thanks to our friends at Team Coco. If you've enjoyed this episode, please send it to someone you love. Subscribe on your favorite podcast app and give us a great rating and review on Apple Podcasts if you're so inclined. Means a lot. We'll have more for you next week. Where everybody knows your name. You've been listening to where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Liao. Executive producers are Adam Sacks, Colin Anderson.

[JB Smoove]

Jeff Ross and myself. Sarah Fedorovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaca.

[Ted Danson]

Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa Grohl. Talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Bautista.

[JB Smoove]

Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson.

[Ted Danson]

Antony Gen, Mary Steenburgen and John Osborne.

[JB Smoove]

Special thanks to Willie Navarret.

[Ted Danson]

We'll have more for you next time.

[JB Smoove]

Where everybody knows your name. If you could hear love, what would it sound like?

[Ted Danson]

Son, can we talk about your drinking?

[JB Smoove]

Yeah, dad, I think we should.

[Ted Danson]

Helping those closest to you think about their excessive drinking.

[JB Smoove]

Maybe that's what love sounds like. [e-mail] An OHA initiative, High 5 Casino lets you play your favorite slot and live table games like blackjack with the.

[Ted Danson]

Chance to redeem for real cash prizes. High Five Casino has a giant selection of over 1200 games, including hundreds of exclusive games only found on High five Casino. It's always free to play and free coins are given out every four hours. Ready to have your own high five moment? Visit high five casino.com that's high the number five casino.com no purchase necessary.

[JB Smoove]

Void were prohibited by law.

[Ted Danson]

Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply.