Mary Steenburgen, Pt. 2

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Mary Steenburgen, Pt. 2"

Episode Title: Mary Steenburgen, Pt. 2
Release Date: November 22, 2024
Hosts: Ted Danson, Woody Harrelson (occasionally)
Guests: Mary Steenburgen

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Introduction

In the second part of his conversation with acclaimed actress Mary Steenburgen, Ted Danson delves deeper into Mary's illustrious career, her personal life, and the unique bond she shares with him. This episode uncovers behind-the-scenes stories from Mary's films, her journey into music, and the magical elements that define her life.

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Mary Steenburgen's Early Career and "Time After Time"

Ted Danson kicks off the conversation by revisiting Mary's second film, "Time After Time" (1978), a pivotal moment in her career where she crossed paths with Malcolm McDowell. This film not only showcased Mary's acting prowess but also laid the foundation for her personal life.

Mary Steenburgen (02:34): "It was a really lovely movie and still kind of is in its own wonderful way."

Ted reminisces about his first impression of Mary during this film, highlighting the magnetic quality that drew him to her.

Ted Danson (03:22): "That was the first movie that I think I saw you and clocked you and went, oh. Oh my goodness. Yeah, it is an amazing movie."

---

Personal Life: Marriage to Malcolm McDowell

Mary shares heartfelt insights into her marriage with Malcolm McDowell, their children Lily and Charlie, and the enduring friendship they maintained post-divorce.

Mary Steenburgen (04:00): "Somehow Malcolm and I managed, even though we were both capable of being really immature, somehow we rose to our biggest selves and stayed friends."

Ted adds his admiration for Malcolm, emphasizing the mutual respect within their intertwined relationships.

Ted Danson (05:56): "He has been nothing but loving and kind and he's amazing."

Mary recounts the moment she informed Malcolm about her budding relationship with Ted, showcasing her thoughtful approach to preserving familial harmony.

Mary Steenburgen (05:33): "I decided to go tell him quite early on so he wouldn't hear it from somebody else."

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Transition to Friendship and Romantic Relationship with Ted Danson

The conversation shifts to how Ted and Mary reconnected post-"Cheers," eventually leading to their romantic relationship and subsequent marriage. Their shared love for "Cheers" and mutual respect laid a strong foundation for their bond.

Mary narrates the first meeting that would eventually lead to their relationship, filled with humor and genuine admiration.

Mary Steenburgen (38:28): "My first thought of you as a man was, well, this is the most ridiculous creature I've ever met."

Ted Danson (38:41): "And from that moment on, folks, I had her."

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Wedding and Blended Family

Ted and Mary discuss their wedding at Martha's Vineyard, blending their families and the challenges and joys that came with it. They highlight the importance of including their children in their vows, symbolizing the unity of their new family.

Ted Danson (46:46): "We made one for each of us in the family that when you put them together separately, they were beautifully. But when you put them together, it made this great pattern."

Mary emphasizes the strength and harmony within their blended family, celebrating the unique relationships among their children.

Mary Steenburgen (45:46): "Our two oldest daughters are each other's best friend."

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Anecdotes from Iconic Films

"Melvin and Howard"

Mary recounts her experience working on "Melvin and Howard," detailing how she landed the role and her collaboration with director Jonathan Demme.

Mary Steenburgen (07:54): "He was the most magical director. He would listen to anybody that had an idea for the film."

She shares a memorable moment when Jonathan Demme dressed for her character's wedding scene, exemplifying his meticulous and thoughtful directing style.

Mary Steenburgen (08:08): "It's the only direction he had to give me that day."

"Parenthood"

Ted and Mary reminisce about their time working on "Parenthood," highlighting the camaraderie with co-stars like Jason Robards and Ron Howard.

Ted Danson (26:12): "Parenthood, my second time working with Jason Robards."

Mary describes the playful and relaxed atmosphere on set, particularly during the balloon scene.

Mary Steenburgen (25:58): "We were all in the same scene, and we were so obsessed with playing Murder and killing each other by winking at each other."

"Philadelphia"

Mary discusses her role in "Philadelphia," portraying a lawyer navigating the complexities of hiring Tom Hanks' character, set against the backdrop of the AIDS crisis.

Mary Steenburgen (30:05): "I play the lawyer who represents Jason Robards and the company that fires Tom Hanks."

She shares a poignant personal connection, mentioning a friend who inspired her portrayal of the character.

Mary Steenburgen (30:46): "A friend who had been my roommate in New York... he was dying of AIDS."

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Musical Pursuits and Magical Aspects

Ted shifts the conversation to Mary's foray into music, exploring the magical qualities that influence her creative process. Mary elaborates on how a surgical experience unlocked her deep connection with music, leading to a successful publishing deal with Universal.

Mary Steenburgen (67:39): "I had a surgery on my arm... I continued to feel weird... obsessed relationship to music."

Ted admires Mary's ability to seamlessly integrate her acting and songwriting, highlighting her dedication and passion for both crafts.

Ted Danson (72:59): "You are some of our best friends."

Mary reflects on her collaborative efforts in Nashville, emphasizing the supportive environment that honed her songwriting skills.

Mary Steenburgen (72:23): "I had to learn fast how to do this... I was the least talented person in the room."

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Family and Grandchildren

The hosts touch upon the joys of family life, particularly the influence of their grandchildren. Mary expresses profound gratitude for the relationships she shares with her stepdaughters and granddaughters.

Mary Steenburgen (75:26): "Our kids are amazing... our relationship has been the blessing of my life."

Ted complements Mary on her role as a grandmother, highlighting the magic and joy they bring to her life.

Ted Danson (75:23): "You and your sense of magic bumps into their, you know, they're just pure magic when they first come out."

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Conclusion

Ted and Mary wrap up the episode by celebrating their enduring friendship and love, acknowledging the magical journey they've shared both professionally and personally. Mary emphasizes the significance of their bond and the continuous growth they experience together.

Mary Steenburgen (75:27): "You're such a soulful human and you're constantly growing... everything has some root in being blessed to love you."

Ted echoes Mary's sentiments, expressing deep affection and gratitude for their relationship.

Ted Danson (76:19): "I love you very much, Mary Steenburgen."

The episode closes by encouraging listeners to explore the previous installment covering Mary's early life and first film, with a promise of more conversations in future episodes.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Mary Steenburgen (02:34): "It was a really lovely movie and still kind of is in its own wonderful way."
• Ted Danson (03:22): "That was the first movie that I think I saw you and clocked you and went, oh. Oh my goodness. Yeah, it is an amazing movie."
• Mary Steenburgen (05:33): "I decided to go tell him quite early on so he wouldn't hear it from somebody else."
• Mary Steenburgen (25:58): "We were all in the same scene, and we were so obsessed with playing Murder and killing each other by winking at each other."
• Mary Steenburgen (67:39): "I had a surgery on my arm... I continued to feel weird... obsessed relationship to music."
• Mary Steenburgen (75:27): "You're such a soulful human and you're constantly growing... everything has some root in being blessed to love you."
• Ted Danson (76:19): "I love you very much, Mary Steenburgen."

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Final Thoughts

This episode of "Where Everybody Knows Your Name" offers an intimate glimpse into Mary Steenburgen's life, her artistic journey, and the profound relationships that shape her. Ted Danson's engaging dialogue brings forth stories of resilience, creativity, and the magic that binds these two beloved actors together.

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Note: Advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content segments have been excluded to focus solely on the substantive parts of the conversation.

Transcript

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[Mary Steenburgen]

Good Burger. But my first thought of you as a man was, well, this is the most ridiculous creature I've ever met.

[Ted Danson]

And from that moment on, folks, I had her. Welcome back to where everybody knows your name. Today is part two of my conversation with Mary. Feel free to go back and listen to the one before this episode. Today I wanted to get into the time in Mary's life after she broke into film, starting with her second movie. And this is the part of the story where I come in. So personally speaking, this is where it gets really, really interesting. So here's part two of my conversation with Mary Steen, Virgin. Enjoy.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Okay.

[Ted Danson]

Hi, Mary.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Hi, Ted.

[Ted Danson]

Little strange to be doing a podcast with you, seeing how you and I Woke up at 4:15 this morning.

[Mary Steenburgen]

We woke up so early, sat in.

[Ted Danson]

Bed, having two cups of coffee and playing wordle.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Connections. Connections and Spelling bee.

[Ted Danson]

Spelling bee. And do we do them individually alone or do we team up on.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Let's talk about it between us? We have one good brain. It's embarrassing.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. So when we last talked, I think we brought you from your origins up to Jack Nicholson hiring you for going south and told that story. So I want to continue talking to you about your films and some of the stories behind them. And then I want to get to the magical part of you and we'll talk about everything, including your music. But let's start with Time After Time, which was your second film.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yes.

[Ted Danson]

Worth talking about because that's where you met, fell in love with Malcolm McDowell.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Right.

[Ted Danson]

Which led to.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Me marrying Malcolm McDowell and having Lily and Charlie McDowell, our beloved children. And it was also a wonderful movie. This is a really lovely movie and still kind of is in its own wonderful way. It was made in 1978 in San Francisco.

[Ted Danson]

That was the first movie that I think I saw you and clocked you and went, oh. Oh my goodness. Yeah, it is an amazing movie. It's a wonderful film.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah, I loved doing it. It was. I mean, San Francisco was beautiful and it was just a really wonderful story that was created and directed by Nicholas Meyer. And yeah, so Malcolm. And it's so weird to start out by talking to you about falling in love with someone else.

[Ted Danson]

No, because we both love Malcolm.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Oh, my go.

[Ted Danson]

And he loves us.

[Mary Steenburgen]

And so that's pretty cool. We. Somehow. Malcolm and I were married for 10 years. We had two great children, and then he has three. He went on to have three sons that are my kids. And all of our beloved family, they're just wonderful boys and young men. And somehow Malcolm and I managed, even though we were both capable of being really immature, somehow we rose to our biggest selves and stayed friends. And I treasure. I treasure that and I adore him. And I think one of the things was that he and I were huge Cheers fans. And so he hadn't exactly loved people I'd gone out with after our divorce. And he could be kind of obvious about it. And then when I started to go out with you, nobody knew that, you know, we. I was going to tell our kids and we. That we were starting to see each other. But I decided to go tell him quite early on so he wouldn't hear it from somebody else. And I said, you know, I know you haven't liked people I've gone out with, but the person I'm seeing now is someone I know you like. And if you're mean about him, then I'm. I. I think it shows that you're still, like, obsessing way too much on me. Which, by the way, I knew he wasn't, but I knew that would get under his skin. So I said. And he goes, well, who is it? And I said, it's Ted Danson. And he goes, well, shit. Because he knew he loved you as best. He didn't really know you, but he admired you so much as an actor.

[Ted Danson]

He has been nothing but loving and.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Kind and he's amazing.

[Ted Danson]

I adore him. I really do. We're very lucky. Okay, that's the story I wanted you to tell about Melvin and Howard. That. That Malcolm loved my work. That's basically why I introduced this part of the story.

[Mary Steenburgen]

You mean about time after time?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, time after time. Sorry. Because now we're going to talk about Melbourne and Howard. That was your third film, right?

[Mary Steenburgen]

Right. Melvin and Howard was my third film. It was a script I read, actually. It was originally sent to Jack Nicholson to play Melvin. And it went through a series of different directors and Jack wasn't gonna do it. Cause he was already committed to do the Shining. But he gave it to me and said, you know, if you wanna read a great script, a real Example of great writing. Here is the script. Melvin and Howard. So I read it and then it was like, well, I don't want to just read it. As an example of great writing, I have to play Linda Dumar. I'm such a great character. And so I kind of just kept tracking it. And I know they were thinking of other people, but the script eventually went to Jonathan Demme, who was just such an extraordinary human and such an extraordinary director. And so I asked if I could audition. And so I auditioned with Paul Lamatt, who ended up being the one that was gonna play Melvin. And I auditioned with Paul for Jonathan. And by the time I got home, my phone was ringing, and Jonathan said, I'm not gonna make you wait to know. Oh, my God, this part is yours.

[Ted Danson]

So that's an amazingly thoughtful.

[Mary Steenburgen]

He was. Oh, my God, he was the most magical director. He was. I were. I was lucky enough to work with him twice. I worked with him again.

[Ted Danson]

Philadelphia.

[Mary Steenburgen]

In Philadelphia. Kind of playing the bad guy in that one. But yeah, he was just so, like, there was, there was. You know, we were quite a long way through the movie, and we were going to shoot the scene where my character and Melvin get remarried and I'm immensely pregnant, and we're in either Reno or Vegas. I'm not sure where we were supposed to be at that point. But he comes to work and he's in this three piece suit with a red carnation in his lapel. And I said, oh, what are. Are you going somewhere after work did. And he goes, no, I'm dressed for your wedding. And it was just like, that's the only direction he had to give me that day. It just made the day so joyful that he was dressed for my wedding, you know, and he, he directed me in a way that was so kind of perfect for who I am, you know, and he, he was just. He was unfailingly kind. He was also so detailed in such a brilliant way. I remember in Philadelphia, he cast every single person that was going to be sitting in the jury, even though a lot of them didn't have lines, but he needed them to be great actors because it was such an important case. And, you know, he, he just. And he, he would listen to anybody that had an idea for. For the film, you know, for a suggestion or caught something that maybe he didn't catch or something. He made everyone feel like they were so important to the final result of the film.

[Ted Danson]

I remember you telling me that you used to come in every day to work with the thought in your Head. What is it I can do that would. In the scene that would delight Jonathan? I mean, you so wanted to.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I felt that way about him. Yeah. I felt that way about Marty Ritt, too, who I worked with in Cross Creek. Another. You know, I mean, it's amazing to work with directors that delight in actors. And there's so much to directing. I mean, there's so much, you know, certainly the look of it and the tone of it, but when somebody delights in actors and both those men, Jonathan Demme and Marty Ritt, were directors who. I mean, Marty used to sit under the camera and stuff. Stuff his fist and his mouth to keep from laughing. And you, you know, and some people might find that distracting, but I found it inspirational, you know, because on some level, I guess all of us like, you know, to have an audience. Yeah, maybe me more than you like. Do you like having an audience?

[Ted Danson]

I love it. And I grew up with, you know, sitcoms, so the writers you were so used to, I could hear Jimmy's laugh or the writers laugh, and it was just gold.

[Mary Steenburgen]

You pointed out sometimes when we watch Cheers, you go, can you hear that? That's Jimmy laughing.

[Ted Danson]

We do watch Cheers every night. It's one of my conditions as part.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Of the contract I signed with him.

[Ted Danson]

Let me just jump back to let people know that Melvin and Howard, you won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, which is pretty cool. Even though I try to put my Emmys in front of you, I try.

[Mary Steenburgen]

To crowd your Oscar that you need to do that. I noticed it this morning, you know. Did you? Last night, I snuck out and I pulled it right out and I put it right in the front where it belongs.

[Ted Danson]

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[Mary Steenburgen]

Can I tell one really kind of terrible story on myself about, about my most glamorous night of my life?

[Ted Danson]

Yes. I love this story.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Do so I had just had Lily a couple of months before the Oscar ceremony and I will also say that the studio at that time was not a big believer in this film. It was not released in Europe and it was. They just kind of didn't realize what they had and that it was a really good movie. And so no one sent a car for me. No one sent a car for me.

[Ted Danson]

No one did publicity for you?

[Mary Steenburgen]

No, there's no ads taken out for me. There's nothing. So I bought a little off the rack dress and I at the last minute bought, I had gotten this beautiful antique painted velvet coat in an antique store in London and I put that on and then somebody probably ill advisedly put a big yellow flower in my hair. But I kind of have always been a little bit of a hippie chick. So I, yes, I love that yellow flower. So I went, I wore basically flats because they were more comfortable. So this was, you know, this was my funky little outfit to wear that I put together myself to go, you know, to the ceremony. And I was so blessed. I won. THEY call my name and, and at the end, in that time, at the end of the the Oscars, everybody that had won was supposed to come out on stage. And so Bo Goleman, who wrote that beautiful script that we were talking about, who was just the loveliest and most is most extraordinary writer. So we came out together and I had had Lily and suddenly Lily needed to be fed and I could feel the whole front of myself. You know, my milk came in. How can I say it other than that that's the best way. And then it's like, oh my God, will people. Will I. Will it be obvious what's happening to me right now.

[Ted Danson]

Because you couldn't leave because you were all posting for a phone.

[Mary Steenburgen]

We were all standing there, and it was all taking way longer than I guess I thought it was going to. And so I was freaking out, and I said, bo, oh, my God, look, there was a little bit of a puddle. And he thought, oh, my gosh, why did she wet her pants? And I'm like, no, Bo. He goes, why are you so scared? You already won. I said, I'm not scared. I need to go feed my daughter. Luckily, you can't see anything because I put on that antique velvet coat and it saved me.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. People will go back now and check out.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Y'all can cut this part out if you want to. It's like, it's not a story I usually tell.

[Ted Danson]

Celebrities are like us. It'll be one of those moments.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Are they, though? Are they dumber than us? But I guess my point is that whenever I've had a truly kind of glamorous moment in my life, most of the time, something like that happens. Like when you and I got married, I had those beautiful white handmade shoes from London that I was going to wear, but it rained so much. I got married in my gardener's red clocks.

[Ted Danson]

Right. Because it was muddy. It was outdoors.

[Mary Steenburgen]

So it's like, there's, like, some little irony. Angel, that always gives me a little dose of irony.

[Ted Danson]

Is it your mom or your dad? Probably your dad. I don't know. He didn't dish out irony. Somebody's keeping you humble.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah, it's working.

[Ted Danson]

Let me do the Tender Is the Night story. Tender in the Night. Am I saying that right? Tender is the Night. Sorry, I can't read my own handwriting.

[Mary Steenburgen]

That's okay. It's just a famous novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

[Ted Danson]

Thank you for saying the author's name, because I would have blown that, too. Anyway, one of the great things, I think everyone who's had any degree of success in our business or has any degree of fame knows that the best part is that you get to meet people that you've had so much respect for over the years. Somehow it's okay to approach them. And I love your story about Audrey Hepburn when you met her at that time. Will you tell that story?

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah. So I was in New York and I had made Tender Is the Night, which was a miniseries for the BBC, and it was one of the first. Their first, I think, big miniseries. And I had played this extraordinary part of Nicole Diver. And so it was. I think it was a year and a Half or something like that. Later, I was in New York, and I was doing an interview for something else, and my mother happened to be with me, which is very rare because she lived in Arkansas. But I think, you know, we'd planned this New York trip together. And so I was. I was waiting to go be interviewed, and it was taking a long time. And finally someone came out and in a very officious voice told us that, I'm sorry you're waiting, but it's Ms. Audrey Hepburn doing an interview, so of course, you may need to wait a little bit longer. And I said, oh, my gosh, is there any way that I could meet her and that I could introduce her to my mother? And I'm just. I loved her. She's, you know, just magical to me. And she said, no, I'm sorry. She's very busy, and she's already behind, so please don't disturb her. So I'm like, okay, you know. And so I said to my mom, let's position ourselves where at least when she comes out of that door down there, we'll catch a glimpse of her before she leaves, you know, the offices. And so we're watching the door and watching the door, and the door finally opens, and you see this, like, perfect silhouette that can only be her. And she's almost about to exit the offices, and she just looks down, and then she stops. And then she looks again, and then she walks up to me, and she says, are you Mary Steenburchen? And she even said my name right, which is so rare. And I. I said, yes. And she goes, may I kiss you? And I said, yes. And so she kisses me three times, you know, this cheek, this cheek, and then again on this cheek. And she goes, that's the way we do it where I come from. And I said, so nice to meet you. And she said, I have seen Tender as the Night three times in three different languages, and I want to sit and talk to you about it. I said, okay, this. This is my mother, Nell Steam Virgin, and may she join us? You know, and she said, of course. So we sat down and she held my hands and we taught. Talked for 20 minutes about life and how much she loved that piece. And she, you know, was the kindest, most acknowledging person, honestly, I've ever met. And that was my. That's my golden story about meeting a celebrity.

[Ted Danson]

It was.

[Mary Steenburgen]

It was. It was just the luckiest. The fact that my mom happened to be there, you know, it was very. Just magical. She was really something special.

[Ted Danson]

I've Watched you do that, too, by the way. You're very gracious and take time to sit and talk with people.

[Mary Steenburgen]

So not quite the same thing, but.

[Ted Danson]

You mean, how so You're Mary Steenbergen.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Whatever.

[Ted Danson]

Whenever. Parenthood. One of my favorite films ever. Brilliant film.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah, that was cool. That was such a great cast.

[Ted Danson]

Second time you got to work with Jason Robarts.

[Mary Steenburgen]

No, I loved him. He was in Melbourne, and Howard, he was in Parenthood, and then we did Philadelphia together. I loved him. And, yeah, it was just the greatest.

[Ted Danson]

Are your kids in that?

[Mary Steenburgen]

My kids are in the scene where. The birthday party scene where he's doing balloons, Steve Martin's doing balloon animals, and. Oh, my God, Ron Howard was just. It was so cool that Ron directed that movie because Ron had been a child actor, so he. He was so sensitive to how to get great performances from those kids. And, like, the littlest kid who was always banging his head on the wall, he started acting up when he would hear the word action. So. So Ron just changed it to ballooning. And, you know, and we. It was just. It was an amazing. An amazing group of people. And we played. We played that game Murder. The. You know, that's. It's. It's sort of a card game. Whoever's the joker is the murderer. And you kill people by winking at them.

[Ted Danson]

So we had this not being caught.

[Mary Steenburgen]

And not getting caught. And so we were at this sort of long oval table, and we started playing this game. And that was the one scene where we're all in the same scene, and we were so obsessed with playing Murder and killing each other by winking at each other that, you know, when they would say cut, we'd instantly go into it. And then. And, you know, even when they were resetting the lights, nobody moved because we're having so much fun. And Ron was starting to get jealous that he wasn't an actor. But what was cool about that game with those people was that every single one of them had perfect timing, but it was all like, you know, it was. It was them. Like, Jason Robards would do this huge wink at you, and you would look around going, like, somebody must have seen that. But it. But his timing was so impeccable that he'd get away with it. It was so much fun.

[Ted Danson]

That's so cool. All the people we get to work with isn't, you know, is.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Such a privilege. And he was one of my favorite actors.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Back to the Future. Back to the Future 3.

[Mary Steenburgen]

That was glorious. You know, I loved working with Bob Zemeck. Because he's just such an extraordinary director. And that whole cast, you know, they already had created this beautiful franchise by the time I came along. But it was especially beautiful working with Chris Lloyd, because in Going south, in my very first movie, in my very first scene, Chris Lloyd is like the first person talking to me. And then to have this years later, to have this part where we have this little romance, you know, that was pretty cool. And I was training to ride my horse up to the back of the train and touch it, which, when you have a train that's a steam engine, then you have a horse, then you have a camera truck on the other side of the horse, and then they're supposed to start, and then you're supposed to run up to it and touch it. So the brilliant stunt women can then do the transfer. You know, horses don't really want to do that. And so the day after training for two months on a horse to do this, the day before, the wrangler said, I'm going to switch horses. I said, what? And he goes, no, I'm going to switch horses. I just have a feeling. And the second I got on that horse, I knew he'd made the right call. And that horse had no problem running up to the back of the train, which.

[Ted Danson]

Let's just stay on that scene of you riding up to the back of the train, because it's another cool story in your life, is that. I don't know, a year later, or perhaps whenever the film came out, you were in London for a royal premiere and you got to meet Princess Diana.

[Mary Steenburgen]

That was amazing.

[Ted Danson]

And your kids didn't. The kids give her some flowers.

[Mary Steenburgen]

It was my son Charlie's seventh birthday, and so my daughter Lily got to present her with the roses, the bouquet, and Charlie got to present her with the program. And she kissed him on top of his head. And at the time, he said, I'm never washing my hair. I went, well, it's pretty hard to get you to wash it now, so that's bad. But. But it was just this amazing evening, and she and I sat next to each other, and she was so friendly and lovely, and she kept. She kept asking me questions, like about the horse. She would say, is that still you? And I went, yeah, that's still me. Is that still your T? Yeah. And I said, yeah, is that so? You know, that's the stunt woman there, you know, And. And that's Jennifer, who did the stunt. The stunt. And it was just so much fun.

[Ted Danson]

A couple of girls talking about something, and she Happens to be the princess.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah. And it had been the day that Charles was playing polo and either broke his wrist or hurt his wrist.

[Ted Danson]

Is that King Charles you're talking about?

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah, sorry. King Charles. Yes.

[Ted Danson]

Very good.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah. And so she said that's why he hadn't come. And she said, I think he could have. And she goes, but you know how men are. And I'm like, yeah, I know how men are. Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Okay, one more film. And these are all iconic films. I mean, some of my favorite films you've ever been in.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I didn't know you were such a fan of.

[Ted Danson]

I am a fan of you. Yeah.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Okay.

[Ted Danson]

Huge. But. But the truth is, I'm zinging along now because first we'll talk about Philadelphia, but then we'll talk about the part where I come into your life, and that. That's. That's where the main part, the story really takes.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I know this. Where it flies.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, okay. But Philadelphia, Astounding movie. You play basically one of the bad guys, in essence, or at least you have a bad job.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I play the lawyer who represents Jason Robards and the company that fires Tom Hanks, essentially because he has aids. And to really, you know, understand. There was just so much fear and prejudice at that time on the subject of aids. And I had a friend who had been my roommate in New York, and my friend Peter, who was just the most lovely, talented guy. We'd been in a comedy improv group together in New York, and sadly, he was dying of aids, and I went to go see him right before I went to go do the movie. And I knew I wouldn't see him again. And he told me how important it was to him that I play this part and that I. That, you know, that I represent, even though it might not be the most sympathetic part. And so he passed away right as I was going, literally going to fly to do the movie. And I remember getting on the plane and going to my seat, and I was really very sad about him. And I looked, and I saw the only empty seat that I was headed towards had someone sitting next to me that was very gaunt and very thin and a kind of bandana on his head. And I was like, oh, my gosh. As if this isn't hard enough, I am going to be sitting next to somebody who has aids, and that's going to make me even sadder. And. But of course, that's perfect, you know, and. Because it was all part of my heart and a part of my work at the time on behalf of folks that, you know, at that time, I think I was the spokesperson for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. So it was just such a big theme in my life. But the person looked up at me, and it was Tom Hanks. And he just. He had done such an extraordinary job of altering his body in that commitment to that part. He was so gaunt and so thin, and he really, you know, was brilliant in that part. And Jonathan made a very eloquent movie about what was happening at that time.

[Ted Danson]

And Denzel was astounding.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Denzel was astounding in it. And even though it was hard, and it was a hard part to play, and at one point, Jonathan said, he goes, I want to add a line. I want you to whisper.

[Ted Danson]

And it was right after you held up the mirror in Tom's face. And it was a very harsh moment.

[Mary Steenburgen]

To look, to see if there are lesions on his face. And then as I go back to sit down, I think it was. He said, I want you to whisper to Oba Baba Tunde, I hate this case, and whisper it. And I said, what do you think is that? He said, I don't know if I'm going to use that or not. I don't know, but I want that option. And so we did it both ways, and he did leave it in. And some people hear it and some people say.

[Ted Danson]

I know, it's barely murmured.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ted Danson]

No, it's an amazing performance.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Well done.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Thank you.

[Ted Danson]

But now buckle up, because here I come.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Okay.

[Ted Danson]

This is right after Cheers ended for me, and I got a script called Pontiac Moon, and I heard that you were interested in it, which delighted me and amazed me. And we met in San Francisco. You describe it.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I have been up for 48 hours because I was doing a movie on the east coast and it ended. And the editor and script supervisor got married in a wedding at the end of, like, a very long shoot. And I was there. You know, I officiated.

[Ted Danson]

Didn't you?

[Mary Steenburgen]

I didn't really officiate it. I think I was the matron of honor or something. But they were lovely, and it was a really fun celebration. And so I hadn't been to sleep, and I hadn't been to sleep for a couple of days, and I had to fly to San Francisco and have dinner with you. You were shooting through. No, you're shooting Getting Even with dad with Macaulay Culkin. And the purpose of the meeting was to make sure that you liked me. Okay, I know that's your story. No, that's the way. That's the way that's what women are, or at least were subjected to, is that the guy had to kind of approve of you.

[Ted Danson]

Wow.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I know it's not your fault. You didn't start it. But I. But I had to. So I had to go. And I was kind of a mess.

[Ted Danson]

Hey, wait a minute.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Is that. Absolutely.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Hand to God, that was how it was presented to you? Yeah, totally. And I'd met you twice. We'd met twice, very briefly twice. But so, yeah. So then I show up at the restaurant. It's Wolfgang Puck's restaurant. And so I come and you're waiting for me at the. And we're also joined with the director, Peter Maddock, and the costume designer. And the costume designer. And I almost don't recognize you because you have long, long, shoulder length brown hair.

[Ted Danson]

Glorious.

[Mary Steenburgen]

And I said, oh, I don't. Oh, hi. I almost didn't recognize you without long hair. And you go, oh, this is my hair. This is. This thing's called extensions. Look here. And you start getting me to see, like, all these little plastic things in your head that caused you to have this long hair that you have for the part that you're playing with Macaulay Culkin. And so then that's like in the first minute that we're together, and then you lead the way to the table, and you're walking ahead of me and you're tossing your fake hair, like, as you walk through the restaurant.

[Ted Danson]

Who wouldn't? I mean.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I mean, it was. You were so attached. Well, it was so attached to you. But you're so attached and so proud of it. And I just remember that my first thought of you, really, besides, you know, adoring you on Cheers, obviously. But my first thought of you as a man was, well, this is the most ridiculous creature I've ever met.

[Ted Danson]

And from that moment on, folks, I had her.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Cause you do like ridiculous.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Well, I definitely like funny. But I remember you. I'm glad your hair is your hair.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Oh, this is sweet.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah, it's lovely. And it's not fake at all.

[Ted Danson]

When I took a shower and I had those extensions and one would come out occasionally, I would be devastated. I would think I had some strange illness before I realized, oh, yeah, that's not mine. That evening for me was the. I know you don't believe me when I say sitting across from you, usually around a beautiful woman, I don't look them directly in the eye until there's a genuine. Because I'm embarrassed.

[Mary Steenburgen]

That's pitiful.

[Ted Danson]

No, I know. But There you are. And dawned me all of a sudden, wait a minute, I'm. I'm about to work with Mary Steenburch and I get to look her directly in the eye.

[Mary Steenburgen]

What is wrong with you?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, I asked my parents. They messed up. Anyway. Anyway, I remember your smile. It was like I was just enchanted with you and proceeded to tell you all my warts and horrible things about me to which you were kind of going, really? You going to tell me everything here? Yeah, Crazy time. But I walked away totally. I remember somebody asked me, what was she like? I said, wow. I mean, I can imagine marrying somebody like that. I was just quite taken with you.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Well, thank you.

[Ted Danson]

Sorting through the last minute of what I said.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Do you think our children at this point have turned the radio or the.

[Ted Danson]

Or reach for the little air sickness bag next to their chairs?

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Hey, you know what? The heck with them. That was our truth at that moment. Yeah. And then off we went to make this movie. That it was one of those films where. I think this is. My reaction to it is the dialogue was so good in the first couple of acts. He was like, oh, I'd like to play that. That's interesting. And you were so kind of interested in the dialogue. You didn't realize there was no third act to speak of. And so it did not work.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Not really. But it was a great first date.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, dear Lord. Yes, it was amazing.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah, it was. And somewhere, what was your first impression of me?

[Ted Danson]

The one you came into the film with really kind of the. Didn't you say you thought I was kind of a slick Hollywood tight maybe? Didn't you think that?

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yes, but. Are you trying to set up my joke?

[Ted Danson]

Yes. Or just anything more about me?

[Mary Steenburgen]

I said, well, that wasn't right away, but in general, before I knew you, I did think you were. I was. I don't know how I was this stupid, but I thought that you were a little bit like Sam Malone. I thought you were a little bit like that. Which, you know, anyone who knows you knows. Well, my joke is that slick guys don't say, gosh, a Rooney after making love.

[Ted Danson]

Nice. I wasn't setting that one up, but that's great. Sorry, kids.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Sorry, kids. They're. They're gone by now. They're so gone.

[Ted Danson]

She did say making love, but that's. Yeah, that's a step up.

[Mary Steenburgen]

But no, I think I didn't. What I didn't realize, like you were, you know, painting like you'd come to work and you had paint all over your clothes because you like painting, Doing these little paintings. And I just kept thinking, wow, he's not who I pictured. He's not who. And then eventually we actually got time to be friends, you know, which was pretty cool. And then eventually took a canoe ride up this incredible.

[Ted Danson]

Is it the big river in Mendocino? And it was. I don't know if it's good for the kids to hear this, but we went up like four miles. It was idyllic. And we just kept going. It was almost like it was. It set the pattern for our life, really. You were in the front and I was in the back. And we would take time to not speak for 15, 20 minutes. And there were sea otters and blue herrings. It was one of the most beautiful scenes. And you kept wanting to go around the next bend in the river. And I go to myself and you.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Kept wanting to turn back.

[Ted Danson]

Turn back. Right. Oh, that may be too far for Teddy, but I didn't say that to you.

[Mary Steenburgen]

No, you didn't try to stop me, but.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, but we came back, not just friends. I think we pulled over and kissed and then got back into the canoe. And I was smitten. I was a goner at that point. You can feel free to say something about how much you.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Is it just. I don't know. I don't know what. I don't know how to talk about this stuff. But anyway, she was.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Anyway, 30 years later, here we are. So I guess that speaks for it.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

And, yeah, I want to keep doing movies for a minute, but I think.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Everyone would be relieved.

[Ted Danson]

No, no. Because we're coming back to you. I just don't know if I want to jump around, but. Well, the year. A year after that, we put our kids together on a vacation to Martha's Vineyard. We found this little house, this teeny little house and bought it. And a year after that, we got married at that house.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah. And our kids. Blending of family, when you have four, basically almost preteen to teenagers and blending, it was scary and in some ways hard and in some ways so kind of meant to be. Like they, you know, those kids who are now middle aged people are. And were, you know, so important to each other. And we're so lucky and we love them. There's. My relationship with my stepdaughters is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. And, like, is the biggest gift you gave me. And it's. And our two oldest daughters are each other's best friend.

[Ted Danson]

You know, in the wedding when we were writing, I Think we were in England doing Gulliver's Travels together, but we were trying to write our vows. And we kept starting on our vows and going, something's not quite right. And we realized that we needed to write vows to our children before we said our vows so that we would include them in it. And I remember the phrase that you. I think you came up with that you handed them. We had bracelets. This is very corny, I know, but we had these wampum seashells made by K. Taylor, and we made one for each of us in the family that when you put them together separately, they were beautifully. But when you put them together, it made this great pattern. And then we set our vows to each one.

[Mary Steenburgen]

And the vow was, I promise to treat you with love and respect and be the best friend I can be to you for the rest of my life.

[Ted Danson]

Well, you've certainly done that with my kids. I think we've been.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah, I think we took it pretty seriously. And they're all amazing. They're very different and all extraordinary, and we're so lucky, and they still want.

[Ted Danson]

To play with us. And.

[Mary Steenburgen]

And then we now have three granddaughters that are scrumptious. Oh, my gosh.

[Ted Danson]

Can we come back to them? I want to just keep going for a second part of the wedding.

[Mary Steenburgen]

They are making these weird faces, like, I wish people could see. Like, you keep sticking your fingers almost up your nose. And I'm.

[Ted Danson]

You may want to go to YouTube right now to check out whether she's just mocking me or whether it's true.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Okay. But it's distracting. It's distracting and weird for. Like. You're supposed to be professional.

[Ted Danson]

I'm not slick.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Okay.

[Ted Danson]

I'm the guy.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Okay, go on.

[Ted Danson]

So our wedding, which was extraordinary just because of.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Because it was our wedding.

[Ted Danson]

Wedding. It was who and who was there. But it was also kind of different from most weddings because the President of the United States, Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton, were there and.

[Mary Steenburgen]

And Chelsea.

[Ted Danson]

And Chelsea, yes. Sorry. Yeah.

[Mary Steenburgen]

But they were not there because we were fancy Hollywood people. They were there because I'm from Arkansas, and I've known them since I was very young.

[Ted Danson]

Yes. Yes. I mean, that was just. But that's also a. An amazing part of your life that you sat around in the governor's mansion in Arkansas talking with Governor Clinton and Hillary and imagining how the world could be and what they might do if they ever, you know, were president. I mean, that's an amazing part of your life. And it came out of your father.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Who was it did. My dad was a freight train conductor and, and Bill was speaking to the retired railroad workers early when he was first governor, like in the first month or something. And he was encouraging them to mentor young people. And he said, you know, there's a young woman in this community and if I'm not mistaken, she's from a railroad family and she's just made her first movie. And so he's describing me and he kind of notices that in the audience there's this man that appears to be sort of emotional and wiped his eyes and stuff. And then at the end of this speech, he went up to the man and he said, sir, I think my remarks hit you emotionally in some way. I'd love to say hello. And he said, I'm Bill Clinton. He said, well, I'm Maurice Steenburgen and if you're going to talk about my daughter, I think you should meet her. And so my dad caused us to meet and then Hillary and I, she wanted help to raise money for, I think it was called angel one, which was a helicopter that the Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock, which is an amazing place, needed to be able to get to the most remote parts of the state to pick up children that needed to get help in a hurry. And it was too long a drive. And so she asked me if I would work with her on raising money for that. And that was it. Our friendship began right then. Yeah, right.

[Ted Danson]

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[Ted Danson]

We could go on with stories, but I want to, I want to make sure we get to some of the Magical part of your life and the music and everything. But some of the other films that you've made, when I walk around with you and people come up, most of the time it's either Elf, depending on the age, or stepbrothers, both of whom.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Are with Will Ferrell.

[Ted Danson]

That's right. That's right.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I played his stepmother in Elf, first directed by John Favreau. It was. I mean, the first day that I saw Will in that outfit. We're all used to that image now, but you have to imagine that I'd never seen even the image. And he walks in this, like, unbelievably tall guy in an elf outfit. And then we had to do the dinner table scene where I'm eating spaghetti with maple syrup on it. And I. Such a giggler, as you know, But I. It was just such an effort not to laugh, you know, so. And I. I think there's quite a few outtakes, but that was an amazing experience. And then I got a phone call, you know, not too long after that, saying, hey, would you be insulted if I actually asked you to actually play my mother? Like, my. Not my stepmother, my mother. And I. I said, I would be insulted if you asked somebody else.

[Ted Danson]

So quickly, doing the math, thinking about.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I'm 11 years older than him. It's okay. And that was just. Oh, my God. Adam McKay directing, and John C. Reilly and Richard Jenkins, who was really my partner. And on the first day we watched these to, you know, genius slash idiots doing their thing, and we just looked at each other and went, what are we even doing here? Like, how can anyone, you know, be in this? They're so extraordinary, they're so good, that what are we even doing here? And then I said, you know what, Richard? We're here to hold down reality. We're here to make it real that those two guys have parents and they still live at home with them, and that's what we're doing here. And both of us got very relaxed from that moment on, and we just had. Oh, my God. It was the best time. It was just amazing.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. A miracle that they could edit any scene that you were in.

[Mary Steenburgen]

You could make 10 stepbrothers from what we shot. And because there was so much improvisation, and then there was also just a brilliant script. And Adam is just. I mean, he's an extraordinary director. And it was just those two. It was an amazing time. I felt like it was sort of a gift to me from the business for having survived this.

[Ted Danson]

I swear, people watch it religiously, like, at least Once a year. It is one of those movies that is truly the funniest.

[Mary Steenburgen]

People memorize it. Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

And I'm jumping fast now because I still want to do music book club.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Oh, my God.

[Ted Danson]

Book club was a huge part of your last three or four or five years, whatever it's been.

[Mary Steenburgen]

We made two book club movies and the cast is Jane Fonda, Diane Keaton and Candice Bergen. And they're just my loves. I love them. I've had so many laughs with them. I've had such a great time with them. I'm so inspired by them. They're such. You know, people said to me before we went to do the first one, like, I wonder who the difficult one is. Or I wonder, you know, who you're going to come back telling the stories about how tough it was to work with them. And I. And I was like, why do people assume that about women especially, you know? And we were so there for each other and we had each other's backs and it was really fun.

[Ted Danson]

And I adored what was amazing about both films, but the first one you watched, I felt you watched four women fall in love with each other on screen, right?

[Mary Steenburgen]

Because we really. None of us have worked together. No combination of us had ever worked together. Jane does tell a story, which is kind of a weird story, about how somebody she was dating said, I can't even believe she dated him after this. But he goes, you are.

[Ted Danson]

This was when she was in her 20s.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Yeah. She was very young. And, you know, I mean, extraordinarily beautiful as she still is. And he said, but you're not the most beautiful woman in Los Angeles. I've seen the most beautiful woman in Los Angeles. And she goes, well, I have to see the most beautiful woman in la. So they make some excuse because I guess he knew Edgar Bergen, who is Candace Bergen's father. And they took something or went somehow to the house so that Jane could see this most beautiful girl, this young woman. I think she was really young, by the way. I think she was like 17. And the first time Jane saw Candace Birkin, Candace was on one of those library ladders in fancy houses, you know, and she was up there getting a book, and she turned around and Jane looked at her and went, oh, my God, she is the most beautiful woman in Los Angeles or probably the world, you know, and she. That's when they first met. But they never, ever were together in all those years until we all did.

[Ted Danson]

She's still a beautiful woman.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Oh, my God. They're all. They're all Amazing. Yeah. Oh, God, no.

[Ted Danson]

They. They were a big part of my life because I was the plus one.

[Mary Steenburgen]

You were everyone's favorite guy in Rome. I got to share you with all.

[Ted Danson]

Of them in that kind of, you know, platonic way. Platonic way. Okay, enough of this film career stuff. Now, this is. I'm going to stumble around, Mary, because it's hard to talk about with either me judging myself, that I'm not really describing this as well as I should, or you'll be embarrassed or whatever. But there is something so magical.

[Mary Steenburgen]

My God, are you going to cry?

[Ted Danson]

Okay, plowing on. There's something so magical about you. There truly is. And I'll explain that more. And it's partly. It's your willingness to know. Your willingness to look beyond what is obvious and literal and linear and what's right in front of all of us. You're willing to look for the magic in life. And I will describe this so it's not just me crying about, you know, saying the word magical. One of the first. Oh, be quiet. One of the first things I noticed that was different, that I had never experienced it was out there in the world and everything was your relationship to colors. I remember you. And you'll have to tell me because I've kind of see this peripherally, but there are bottles of different colors in your bathroom that you spray on yourself because of the energetics of Bath.

[Mary Steenburgen]

By the way, Jump in here, please. By the way, this is my business. This is the problem with being interviewed by your husband.

[Ted Danson]

Well, I'm up in your business.

[Mary Steenburgen]

That was like, made fun of in that amazing. One of the many amazing films by Chris Guest. Like, it's. Yeah, it's some sort of. I don't even know. I just have a little belief that if I spray those colors on me, I get mindful of. You're so bad that you.

[Ted Danson]

No, no, please. Cause this is. This is magical. And it's not just a bunch of bottles.

[Mary Steenburgen]

They have a meaning to me, even though I know it's probably ridiculous. But they make. I think about when I spray them on me. I think about my creative voice and about being creative. I can't believe you ever.

[Ted Danson]

What else were you going to say? You just.

[Mary Steenburgen]

No, I don't want to talk about it.

[Ted Danson]

All right, fine. But I also remember that if you looked at color, whether either in paintings or you were painting or you saw something and pointed out colors, it was really hard for you to sleep at night because your brain would be swirling before music came into your life. Your brain I found. Obsessed with color.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I am still obsessed with color.

[Ted Danson]

Right. Well, I find that totally magical. I do.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I know that sounds like I like, I love seeing it. And every time we've done a house, I tell myself I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it beige or black and white like my friend Diane Keaton. I'm going to do that because it looks so chic and every time there's just color everywhere. Would you agree?

[Ted Danson]

Yes.

[Mary Steenburgen]

Okay.

[Ted Danson]

Yes, very much. And I love it. She's smirking at me. Can the camera pump in to see. As I'm saying these. Here's another thing that you're relating. Come on, go ahead. This is not a bad thing.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I know, but it's a good secret. Oh, but go on, try.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, here's another secret. Perhaps it's your relationship. You more than anyone I know, certainly in my life. Excuse me. I'm very nervous at this moment. You don't compartmentalize. You are still friends and in communication with people that you were four or five years old, six years going to school. You insist on keeping relationships going from every part of your life and including people who have passed away. I find that the people in your life, your father who passed away, is vividly part of your life. Not a memory, but a vivid part of your life. And your willingness to accept that there's more to life than meets the eye is also that part of you that welcomes that. And you have had some of the most amazing experiences, some with your great friend Roddy McDowell who passed away. Some. Several amazing ones with your father. You don't have to talk about them right now if you don't want to, but if you were to tell some of these experiences you've had with people who have passed over, whether it's communications or feelings, you would be hard pressed to describe it to somebody and, well, this is what really happened. No, this is truly you communicating with people who have passed on. And that, to me is very, very, very magical. That willingness to accept that there's more to life than meets the eye, which I love about you so much, and you brought that into my life. Are you wanting to talk at all about that in any way?

[Mary Steenburgen]

I mean, some of those stories are probably too long for this, but I do have a certainty that there are other experiences other than this one that we're all aware of. I do know that. And I. I don't. I'm. I don't think I'm special in any particular way about any of that, except that I guess I sometimes try to listen, you know, and be open to it. And sometimes I've gone for years without feeling like anyone that's on the other side of that veil has said hello to me. And sometimes it happens, you know, more frequently. And I think. I think everybody has this ability. I just think it's a busy world and not everybody kind of listens. And I know that we all have a wish that there's more. Some people have faith that there's more. Some people don't believe there's a single thing. I just know. I just know there is. I don't know how to explain it, or I can't summon it. I don't know how to do any of that. But now and then I just know I've been spoken to and really specifically and really in ways that sometimes weren't even about me at all.

[Ted Danson]

Right. And you're right, we don't have a huge amount of time to go into these amazing stories, but I was there with you, and I would be hard pressed to describe it any other way than what was happening. A communication with people who had passed on. But moving on to music, it's that willingness to not just say, oh, no, no, that's. No. Just the possibility of something that is magical, you immediately gravitate towards and allow that to come into your life is how I see it. Which leads us to music. Which just to cut to the chase, my wife, Mary Steenburgen, has a publishing deal with Universal, mostly out of Nashville, has won a Critics Choice Award for music she wrote with her co writers who are some of our best friends from Nashville. You have two or three end credit songs, you're writing a musical for, you're working on an animated film, and it's the real deal. It's a huge part of your life. But I would love to go back to the story of how that happened, how that came into your life, because to me, this is you being magical. You being willing to, you know, open yourself to something you can't explain.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I had a surgery on my arm. It wasn't a very big deal, but I did have to go under anesthetic. April 17, 2007. And something occurred during that, that surgery that I don't know how to explain except, you know, it's. It's been described as. By people. Dr. Oliver Sacks wrote a book called Musicophilia that's about people who had a normal relationship with music and then had some sort of disturbance to the brain and then had an obsessive relationship to music. So I. When I came out from it, I felt weird, which is normal because I'd had surgery and then. But what was weird was that I continued to feel weird. And if I had to describe what I felt, it was a preoccupation with melody and having every subject that people were talking about turn into kind of this musical tornado. Now, looking back, I think that what happened to me was maybe in some way that surgery gave me access to a part of my brain that perhaps existed, but that I just hadn't had access to before. My friends who have always been musical, they don't know what it's like not to have that. But I had only known what it's like not to have that. And it's not that I suddenly got some crazy talent. I don't think I did. I got really. Actually what I got was an obsessiveness, which you live with and, you know, is still true of me about it, you know. And because my brain felt so different, I didn't like it at first and it made me anxious. And then. And then I eventually realized this isn't going away. That's kind of, you know, we don't think about what our brain sounds like. Your brain, you. Nobody gives a thought of what your brain sounds like. But mine sounded different. It went from being an underscored movie to an overscored movie, if you can put it that way.

[Ted Danson]

And so I remember driving you down a road some place, I can't even remember what state we were in. And you passed the road sign that said, oh, shoot, Lost Lake Lane.

[Mary Steenburgen]

We were in Louisiana. Yeah, rural Louisiana.

[Ted Danson]

And just that phrase turned that into a lyric. And you wrote a song.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I loved that song. Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

You would hear people walking down the street, the sound of their shoes on the street, which was then turn into a beat. And then you would be off and running into some musical experience.

[Mary Steenburgen]

It was crazy. But what, you couldn't sleep? No, and I still don't do great, but I. But what was kind of amazing about it was that without knowing how to write music, I started writing music. And then Universal based on that music was kind enough, you know, they signed me to a publishing deal. But they.

[Ted Danson]

Not knowing who you were, by the way. I know it's a longer story, but I know you didn't want to have be the actor, right?

[Mary Steenburgen]

I didn't want to do it, but. So I ended up being sent by them. They said, go write in Nashville. You will love co writing. And first I thought, did they just want me to co write? Because they Think I can't do this by myself. And then I learned, no, go co write, because it's the greatest thing you'll ever do in your life. It's the most amazing communion with other people and everybody in Nashville. I mean, I started writing with these people like Troy Virtus and Matresa Berg, who was just honored the other night at the Country Music Awards, and Barry Dean and all these amazing Nashville writers. And they were so kind to me. But you do have to prove yourself because they. This is what they do. And so I had to learn fast how to do this. And I was.

[Ted Danson]

And be willing to be, you said.

[Mary Steenburgen]

The least talented person in the room. I still feel I'm the least talented person in the room. And by the way, always the oldest person in the room, because most of the people I write with, Lucy Silvas and, you know, Caitlin Smith, and they're all brilliant and young and extraordinary and Brothers Osborne, you know those guys. And so anyway, that place and those people have become just such a massive part of our life.

[Ted Danson]

They're some of our best friends.

[Mary Steenburgen]

I mean, they really are.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mary Steenburgen]

And I'm just really lucky to do it. I think I've. I know I've gotten better as the years have gone on at writing. And what I love is, like, if I'm doing an animated film, part of me is writing that character as an actor. How would I play that character? You know? And then part of me is writing that character as a songwriter, you know? And it's just. It's like the most joyful thing because I feel like I get to do both of my jobs all together. You know, they're so connected.

[Ted Danson]

Anyway, if somebody wanted to hear, I mean, they could go online and find. What's the name of the song?

[Mary Steenburgen]

Glasgow or no Glasgow or no Place Like Home was the end song of the movie Wild Rose. And it's brilliantly, brilliantly sung by Jesse Buckley.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, yeah. And I really encourage you to go, that's a great song to listen to. That's out there.

[Mary Steenburgen]

There's a movie coming out next year or there's a movie coming out soon called 10 Lives, and it's an animated film. And we wrote Troy Verges and Caitlin Smith and I wrote a song called See Me for that movie that we're really proud of.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, brilliant. Yeah. Okay. So that's magic. That's the willingness to explore, accept, work on, work hard, you know, on this magical thing that was presented to you. So, yeah, you are magical, and you are incredibly willing to explore and stretch and all of that stuff. Let me just do one little thing because we are running out of time. The magic. To me talking about our granddaughters, you are an astounding grandmother. I think besides all the obvious things about grandparents who just, you know, would do anything for their grandchildren, it's such a special relationship. But you and your sense of magic bumps into their, you know, they're just pure magic when they first come out. And, you know, I just think that I love watching you around your granddaughters.

[Mary Steenburgen]

As we're very lucky. We're really lucky.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Mary Steenburgen]

And we're really lucky. You know, this relationship has been the blessing of my life because you are someone I get to spend all my days with laughing every single day and kind of growing. You're so interested in. You're such a soulful human and you're constantly growing and it's been a privilege, you know, and so every single thing that's happened to me has some root in being blessed to love you. All of it, you know, and so there. If anyone's still left on this, you heard that they're all gone by now.

[Ted Danson]

I love you very much, Mary Steenberg. Thank you for doing this. Well, we've come to the end of our two part conversation with Mary, so please do yourself a favor and check out the previous episode, which covers Mary's life in Arkansas before she got into acting, as well as her first film, going south with Jack Nicholson. And I can now say that that won't be the last time you hear from Mary on this podcast. So be on the lookout. That's it for this week. Hello to Woody. Wherever you are, I miss you. Come back, come home. You're forgiven. And special thanks to our friends at Team Coco. If you've enjoyed this episode, please send it to someone you love, subscribe to us on your favorite podcast app and rate and review on Apple Podcasts. We'll have more for you next week. Where everybody knows your name.

[Woody Harrelson]

You've been listening to where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson Sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Leo. Executive producers are Adam Sacks, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross and myself. Sarah Fedorovich is our supervising producer. Our senior producer is Matt Apodaca. Engineering and mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez. Research by Alyssa G.R. talent booking by Paula Davis and Gina Bautista. Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Antony Gen, Mary Steenbergen and John Osborne. Special thanks to Willie Navarre. We'll have more for you next time. Where everybody knows your name.

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