Susie Essman

Summary

Podcast Summary: Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson - Episode Featuring Susie Essman

Introduction

In the January 29, 2025 episode of Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson, hosts Ted Danson and Susie Essman delve deep into the life and career of Essman, renowned for her role as Susie Green on Curb Your Enthusiasm. The episode offers an intimate look at Essman's journey in the male-dominated world of stand-up comedy and television, her enduring friendship with Ted Danson since their Cheers days, and her experiences working alongside Larry David.

Reconnecting and Setting the Tone

The episode begins with a warm welcome from Ted Danson, reminiscing about their last meeting on March 24th. Danson expresses his excitement about having uninterrupted conversations with Essman, free from the comedic interruptions they might otherwise experience with Larry David.

Ted Danson [02:05]: "I love that I get to talk to you for an hour or whatever it is."

This sets a candid and relaxed tone for the conversation, emphasizing the long-standing bond between the two actors.

Navigating the Curb Your Enthusiasm Set

Susie Essman shares her experiences working on Curb Your Enthusiasm, highlighting the challenges and joys of collaborating with Larry David.

Susie Essman [02:38]: "Larry doesn't annoy on set because he's too, you know, focused."

They humorously discuss Larry's penchant for ruining takes by making him laugh uncontrollably, leading to moments where Essman's character is left screaming and yelling due to David's interruptions.

Susie Essman [02:46]: "Larry is a pain in the ass. But I will say this. Making Larry laugh, I think is truly one of the joys of my life."

Despite the frustrations, Essman acknowledges the importance of making Larry laugh, which has been pivotal in her longstanding role on the show.

The Impact of Larry David on Their Careers

Both Ted Danson and Susie Essman reflect on how Larry David has significantly influenced their careers. Danson recounts how Curb Your Enthusiasm came at a crucial time when his previous show had been canceled, revitalizing his interest in comedy.

Ted Danson [04:15]: "Larry... it rehabilitated me."

Essman adds that both their careers—and hers even more so—are intertwined with David's unique comedic vision.

Casting Serendipity and Early Experiences

Essman shares the serendipitous story of how Larry David cast her on Curb Your Enthusiasm after witnessing her stand-up performance during a roast. She describes the low-budget beginnings of the show, where she had to handle her own wardrobe and makeup, often improvising on the spot.

Susie Essman [16:55]: "Larry saw me and went, 'Oh, that's who I want to play.'"

This spontaneity and willingness to embrace the unconventional set the foundation for her dynamic portrayal of Susie Green.

Building Her Stand-Up Career

The conversation shifts to Essman's journey in stand-up comedy. She details her early struggles, including overcoming deep insecurities and lack of support, and how she eventually found her comedic voice by being authentic and relatable.

Susie Essman [29:28]: "I started just talking about things that I was going through. I was dating a lot of younger guys... I just tried to be authentic."

Essman emphasizes the importance of connecting with the audience and being truthful in her performances, which helped her distinguish herself in a competitive field dominated by men.

Character Development: Susie Green

Essman delves into the creation and evolution of her character, Susie Green. She discusses the meticulous process of developing Susie's outrageous wardrobe and unyielding personality, aiming to portray a character devoid of insecurities despite her own challenges with self-confidence.

Susie Essman [43:11]: "I put on those outfits and I just become her... I wanted her to just think that everything she did was just fabulous and had no insecurities whatsoever."

Ted Danson compliments her on the boldness of her wardrobe choices, which have become iconic aspects of Susie Green's character.

Recognition and Public Interaction

As Curb Your Enthusiasm gained popularity, Essman began receiving recognition from fans. While initially under the radar, by the third season, she noticed an increase in public interactions, some of which were demanding her to reenact her character's infamous lines.

Susie Essman [40:22]: "People would shove a phone in my face and say, 'It's my husband. Call him a fat fuck.'"

Despite these intense interactions, Essman finds fulfillment in knowing that her work brings joy and laughter to others.

Life Outside Comedy and Acting

Beyond her professional life, Essman touches upon her personal life, including her relationships and family. She expresses a preference for working from home rather than touring, citing a dislike for leaving her familiar environment and a leaning towards agoraphobia.

Susie Essman [34:19]: "I'm slightly agoraphobic. Also, I don't like leaving home."

This preference aligns with Danson's sentiments about enjoying the camaraderie and routine of working on set rather than the unpredictability of touring.

Family Background and Early Influences

Essman provides a glimpse into her family history, revealing that her great-grandfather was a silent film actor involved with the Yiddish theater and worked alongside legends like Lon Chaney.

Susie Essman [55:48]: "My great grandfather, his name was Leo Fyodorov. He was the impresario of the Russian Grand Opera Company."

Growing up in New York with minimal support from her parents, Essman shares how her family’s artistic legacy and frequent Broadway visits fueled her passion for acting and comedy, despite the lack of encouragement.

Challenges and Triumphs in Curb Your Enthusiasm

Ted Danson recounts his Broadway experiences, including a humorous yet humbling story about a show that failed to receive positive reviews, ultimately leading to its closure.

Ted Danson [62:18]: "I played a bartender and we went out... it was my one Broadway showcase."

Essman sympathetically relates to these challenges, discussing the difficulties of balancing personal life with a demanding career and the exhaustion that comes with roles requiring high energy and improvisation.

Future Aspirations

Looking ahead, Essman shares her aspirations to continue working on well-written series in New York, balancing creative fulfillment with personal comfort. She expresses a desire to engage in projects that her future grandchildren can appreciate, particularly in voiceover animation.

Susie Essman [47:31]: "Five years from now I want to be working at something interesting and well written."

Danson echoes this sentiment, expressing his intention to continue exploring his comedic craft well into his later years, aiming to reflect the humanity and humor of his aging self.

Conclusion

The episode concludes with heartfelt exchanges between Danson and Essman, underscoring their mutual respect and affection. Essman appreciates being part of projects that resonate deeply with audiences, while Danson marvels at her ability to blend stand-up prowess with collaborative acting.

Susie Essman [41:55]: "I feel extremely blessed to be able to make people laugh. It's like you're putting a good thing into the world."

Their conversation encapsulates the essence of Where Everybody Knows Your Name, providing listeners with an authentic and comprehensive understanding of Susie Essman's life, career, and the enduring friendships that shape her journey in the entertainment industry.

Notable Quotes:

• Ted Danson [04:15]: "Larry... it rehabilitated me."
• Susie Essman [02:38]: "Larry doesn't annoy on set because he's too, you know, focused."
• Susie Essman [29:28]: "I started just talking about things that I was going through. I was dating a lot of younger guys... I just tried to be authentic."
• Susie Essman [43:11]: "I put on those outfits and I just become her... I wanted her to just think that everything she did was just fabulous and had no insecurities whatsoever."
• Susie Essman [34:19]: "I'm slightly agoraphobic. Also, I don't like leaving home."
• Susie Essman [55:48]: "My great grandfather, his name was Leo Fyodorov. He was the impresario of the Russian Grand Opera Company."
• Susie Essman [47:31]: "Five years from now I want to be working at something interesting and well written."
• Susie Essman [41:55]: "I feel extremely blessed to be able to make people laugh. It's like you're putting a good thing into the world."

Timestamps for Key Discussions:

• Casting and Early Career: 16:55 - 17:40
• Stand-Up Challenges and Evolution: 24:17 - 31:54
• Character Development and Wardrobe: 43:10 - 46:56
• Family Background and Early Influences: 53:05 - 58:39
• Expectations and Aspirations: 47:31 - 52:18

Through this insightful dialogue, listeners gain a comprehensive understanding of Susie Essman's multifaceted career, her resilience in overcoming personal and professional hurdles, and the profound impact of her collaborations with iconic figures like Ted Danson and Larry David.

Transcript

[Ted Danson]

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[Susie Essman]

I'd be at the produce section in Fairway or Zabar's and somebody would shove a phone in my face and say, it's my husband. Call him a fat fuck. You know, that kind of thing.

[Ted Danson]

Welcome back to where everybody knows your name. On today's episode, I'm joined by one of the stars of Curb youb Enthusiasm, actor and comedian Susie Essman. On Curb, she played Susie Green, the wife of Larry's agent, Jeff Green. If you're like me, you loved Susie's character for her no BS ways. She's foul mouthed, wears outrageous clothes and isn't scared to go toe to toe with Larry. Even though Susie Essman is obviously her own person, her character's fearlessness somehow reminds me of her own. How she navigated the male dominated world of stand up by being even more raunchy and unfiltered than peers. I can't wait for you to get to know her better. And now you will meet Susie Espin. Hi, Susie.

[Susie Essman]

Hi, Ted. I haven't seen you in months.

[Ted Danson]

I know. March something. 24th or something.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, something like that. Our last day.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Oh, wow. Hard. Very hard. You know what I love about this? I love that I get to talk to you for an hour or whatever it is. And Larry's not going to interrupt us. It's just going to be you and me because.

[Susie Essman]

Just you and me. No Jeff coming in. No Larry annoying us.

[Ted Danson]

Really?

[Susie Essman]

Larry doesn't annoy on set because he's too, you know, focused.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, that's true. I'll tell you, I have a whole category talking with you about how annoying is it to work with Larry David? We could start with this. We both had similar reactions. Somebody asked you in some interview, do you break up? Do you laugh a lot on the set? No, no, we're professionals.

[Susie Essman]

We're professionals. Yeah, exactly. He fucks up every single take of mine. All of my best takes, literally.

[Ted Danson]

Because first time he giggles, you go, oh, how sweet. He likes what I'm doing. And then he does ruin your next 10 takes because he won't stop giggling.

[Susie Essman]

And then for me, you know, many of my takes I'm Screaming and yelling. So by the time he stops giggling, my voice is gone. You know, he's a pain in the ass.

[Ted Danson]

He's a pain in the ass.

[Susie Essman]

But. But I will say this. Making Larry laugh, I think is truly. And I'm not being, you know, Pollyanna. Ish. It's one of the joys of my life is making him laugh. And luckily, I make him laugh. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had this job all these years.

[Ted Danson]

Good point. And here's something else about Larry. First off, obviously, we love him, adore him. I would say that both of our careers have a lot to do with him.

[Susie Essman]

And, well, Ted, mine, certainly yours. I mean, come on.

[Ted Danson]

No, we can get into that. But he came along. Curb came along at a time where I literally. I think I had done a show that lasted eight episodes and then was canceled. And I sat there looking at myself going, all right, I'm not amused by what I'm doing anymore. I don't have a giggle. And all right, no more comedy. I'm going to just do movies and da, da, da, da. And then along came Larry with this bizarre invitation out of the blue to come, you know, and it was like. It rehabilitated me.

[Susie Essman]

It did. Really? I never knew that. Yeah, Tell that story about the first time he showed you the stuff at North Vineyard. I think that's so funny.

[Ted Danson]

Okay, so I think we had met him, he and Laurie, the year before, and they were friends.

[Susie Essman]

And you both had houses in the Vineyard.

[Ted Danson]

He was.

He was renting a house. He and Lori were renting a house, and it didn't have great reception. So after some dinner, he told this group of about six, eight of us that come over to the house and let me show you the, you know, a cutting or whatever of the pilot that I'm thinking of doing for hbo. And we all climbed up to the top of the stairs near the attic because it was the only place that had good enough reception or whatever WI fi to be able to watch it. And. And it was hot. And several of the people literally fell asleep, you know, sitting on the stairs watching this. And I remember thinking, oh, boy. Boy. Oof. This is. This is. I don't know. I don't think this is going to work. And I don't, you know, But I like him so much. What do we say? As you plan, you know, how to be complimentary with something you're not thinking. And at the end, you've all been there. Yeah. Mary and I kind of were looking at each other and going, I shouldn't pull Mary into this was my reaction. But we both said, larry, wonderful. If you ever want us to play ourselves, we'd be happy to. What an amazing thing. And, you know, went out the door and thought nothing of it. And then we got a call, and he said, come, come play yourselves. And that was back in the day when you brought your own wardrobe and pretty much put your makeup on in your car before you walked on the stairs.

[Susie Essman]

People don't understand how low budget we were in the beginning. We had no trailers. We had, you know, nothing. We didn't have a makeup trailer. We had nothing. We didn't even have Porto Sands porta Potty things.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, go to the bathroom before you come, Susie.

[Susie Essman]

Right, right, right. And we had one makeup artist who did hair and makeup for everybody. Barely.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, yeah. No, it was amazing.

[Susie Essman]

And then it was really like, I got a barn. Let's put on a show. You know, that's what it felt like.

[Ted Danson]

Yes. And you'd be. You'd get the call if you were a gu. The night before, you know, so there was no planning ahead with Larry.

[Susie Essman]

Right.

[Ted Danson]

And he just made the assumption everyone would want to come. And he was right.

[Susie Essman]

He was right. And then I think for your character, I mean, I love the evolution of you becoming pretty much starting out as his friend and then becoming the cad.

[Ted Danson]

Right. Which. Which I didn't know because I didn't even read those little outlines that we get. I think most people know that Larry and whoever he's writing with that season work on it for three months, but they take it right up to the point where they would normally write dialogue, and then they don't. So we get these little outlines that you can read or not. And I didn't even read the outlines. You just show up, and you'd say, you walk here. You did it. And this is kind of the situation. And one time, one season, you know, we're gonna be. You're not doing this podcast. So this is the last question for me. Okay. I will finish this story. But I was walking. The scene was. He was talking, and I'm blanking on the actress's name.

From Australia, Lucy Lawless.

[Susie Essman]

Yes.

[Ted Danson]

Lucy and Larry are standing on a corner in Brentwood outside of a dry cleaner. And I. They're talking, and I pull up, as far as I know, get out of the car, walk by them and go, hey. And into the dry cleaner. Well, one take. I got there too early, so they were still finishing their little dialogue that they were having. And what I overhear is then, oh, God, yeah. What an asshole. Oh, I know. He's horrible. And I heard it, you know, it was like, wait, what? And I kept walking, and then I went up to Jeff later and went, jeff, did you hear what they said? He went, really? You don't know that you are the asshole this season. That's all you are the whole season for Larry. Yeah.

[Susie Essman]

It's great that you didn't know that because then you're not playing asshole, you're just playing. Well, you never want to be on point on anything.

[Ted Danson]

Yes, that's true. That's true. All right, let me go back.

[Susie Essman]

I want one. One more question I want to ask you, and then you can ask me.

[Ted Danson]

See, this is deflecting, but go ahead.

[Susie Essman]

No, no, no. Just one question because I never asked you this. Was. Was. Were you upset when he had you splitting up with Mary and getting together with Cheryl?

[Ted Danson]

So much so that I'm gonna have to couch in this conversation we're having how upset I was, really? Yes, it was a very vulnerable time. I think it was the week after Trump won the election. 2016, I guess, was it. And so I'm feeling very disoriented and vulnerable. And I show up to work to discover that, you know, we have divorced, Mary and I, or we're getting a divorce or something.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Which I understand the legit why, story wise, they did it, I think. But it hurt. And I came back and had to tell Mary, like this was a thing in our life, not just a story point.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

And we got people when it was aired, people who were friends or at least acquaintances that we'd had dinner with, you know, a month before, would write these notes to us. Oh, is it true? I'm so sorry. You know, it was like what Mary. Yeah, Mary used to say. Yeah, we did. And we decided to tell the world on the Larry David show on Curve. That seemed the appropriate way to tell, but it did upset me. But there you go.

[Susie Essman]

That's funny. Well, you know. Cause there's such. I mean, you're Ted Danson, but you're not really Ted Danson. You're Ted Danson on the show and Larry David's Larry David. I'm Susie, but I'm Susie Green. And Richard, you know what I mean? It's all very confusing.

[Ted Danson]

It is. But I realized I'm not playing. I'm not Ted Danson. I am function. My job. I think probably most of us, our function is to drive Larry into a corner so he explodes and comes out more Larry. That's kind of correct. That's kind of what he does.

[Susie Essman]

That's show Larry. That's not real Larry.

[Ted Danson]

No. Although it's not for me. Going out to dinner with Larry used to be the same. I would try to find some funny way to insult him and then delight if he laughed. One last thing about laughter, then we're going to go back. And Larry, not all standups are generous with their laughter. A lot of them, that's absolutely true. I got the football, let me run. Just let me do my thing. And they don't throw the football back. Larry delights in you being funny.

[Susie Essman]

He really does. Yeah, he really does. It's it. He's one of my favorite people in the whole world, so don't get me started on him.

[Ted Danson]

All right?

We both love Larry. We both love to insult him and. Well, at least I do. All right.

[Susie Essman]

No, I do too.

[Ted Danson]

All right. Let me, let me. Then we're going to go back. We're kind of working in the middle here or towards the end, and we'll work back. But I read that you're. That Larry saw you during the Jerry Stiller roast when you got up and were part of their. And saw you and went, oh, that's who I want to play Suit.

[Susie Essman]

That's exactly true. Well, I had known him. I met him maybe 1985 at catch a Rising Star when we were both doing standup. And, you know, he was legendarily. I don't wanna say he was a bad standup. His material was brilliant, but he didn't. He was not one that knew how to relate to an audience particularly well, you know, and we used to all come in the room and watch him because he was explosive. He would just. If but one woman looked at her watch, he would start screaming and yelling and storm off the stage, you know, and he would do things like what? I was there one night when he. This is a legendary story. When he looked at the audience, he got. I got on stage, looked at the audience and said, I don't think so, and just walked out, you know, or when I used to emcee a lot of Catch, there's always that moment where you introduce somebody and then you cross paths, you know, I would say, ladies and gentlemen, Larry David. And then I would walk off and he would walk on and he would always whisper in my ear, stay close. Because he knew that he was just gonna storm off. You know, he had like a 20 minute spot or a 15 minute spot. So if you were the emcee, you had to stay in the room. Cause that Was usually when you went to the bathroom or went out and got a soda or whatever with him, you had to stay in the room. Cause you never knew when he was just gonna storm off the stage.

[Ted Danson]

So it wasn't a bit. Let me just ask this. This was real. It was not him doing it. I'm the storm off guy. It's real.

[Susie Essman]

Go on. No, no, it was real. He would get. One night. I remember it was like, I don't know, 2:00 in the morning. And he was doing some bit, and there was something about a bungalow. And a woman in the audience asked, what's a bungalow? And he went crazy on her that she didn't know what a bungalow was. And he stormed off. It was always. We always watched him because it was such. For comedians. It was so much fun to watch him. And there are certain comedians that die hilariously. You know, it's always painful to watch a comedian not do well. But Larry did it hilariously, and it was just a joy to watch. So I had known him from way back then, and then he moved to la and I stayed in New York, and I hadn't seen him. And. And I was struggling. I was this. This was like 1999. And I was. I was. Had gotten to be a really good comic. And. And I just. Nothing was happening in my career. I mean, I had a little bit of this, a little bit of that, you know, that kind of a thing. And I was making a living doing standup. And I was just very, very frustrated. And they. The Friars Club asked me to do the roast because I had kind of made my bones with them. Cause you had to in those days. It was all these old starkers. You're Alan Kings, and all these guys that didn't think women were funny, especially if you were halfway decent looking. They couldn't imagine. They were very confused because they didn't know if they wanted to laugh at you or fuck you. You know what I mean? They get. It was that generation, you know, am I laughing? So they asked me to do this. They asked me to do this roast. And Comedy Central didn't want me to do the roast. Cause I was not what their demographic was. I don't know why. Too female, too old, too Jewish, whatever it was. And the Friars Club fought for me to do that roast. Cause I had made my bones with them. And I remember I had laryngitis. I was so nervous doing that roast that I lost my voice. And I was on steroids. And I was sitting next to Danny Aiello at The dais. And he wouldn't shut up, and I didn't want to talk. And he kept on talking. I mean, you know, Danny was like, oh, God, he was so funny. And I did the roast and I was filthy because that's what you have to be. You have to be really blue on a roast. And that was a relatively blue comic anyway. And Larry saw it and had this idea for the first season. It was an episode called the Wire where he wanted Jeff's wife to, just as the direction he gave me was, rip him a new asshole. And so he saw me and he was like, oh, Susie, you know, it was like a light blob. She'd be perfect. So he called me up and he gave me the part, and I didn't know anything about it. I remember he said to me, I said, well, what's the part? Don't worry about it. You could do it. I said, well, send me a script. There's no script. And then he told me, but there's no money. You're gonna have to fly yourself out and put yourself up. And I'm like, you know, I don't mind working for days scale, but it's not gonna cost me, so find some money and fly me out, you know. And they eventually flew me out coach and put me up in some fleabag place in Venice and. And I was just a day. I was getting day scale for the first, I don't know, three seasons. I was. I had no contract, nothing. And I never knew from season to season if I was going to be in it. We never knew if he was going to come back. After every season, he would say, that's it, I'm not coming back. But I never knew that I was going to be in it. But he kept me in it, thankfully.

[Ted Danson]

Hey, but I. I read that little thing, that note about you, Larry casting you, wanting you because of that, that roast. And so I went and watched it last night. So for you to say that I, you know, it's confusing For a woman who's funny and half decent looking, you were hot. If it's okay to say that, you were as down. No, really astounding. And you, you were brilliant. Because it is confusing, probably for that group of men, too.

[Susie Essman]

That generation just see someone very beautiful.

[Ted Danson]

Very sexy, rip them a new asshole and make fun of their manhood left and right. It was truly brilliant. It was a great, great performance.

[Susie Essman]

One time, Alan King, he was hosting something at a hotel in Atlantic City, a show, and he had me on it, and he was the emcee. And this is how he introduced me. He said, you know, in my day, all the women who were funny, they were funny. There was something wrong with them. Martha Ray had a big mouth. Phyllis Dillard dressed in crazy outfits. But this broad is pretty and funny. Please welcome Susie Essmon. That's how he introduced me. This broad.

[Ted Danson]

Broad, yes. Yeah, yeah. Times have changed.

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[Nick]

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[Ted Danson]

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[Ted Danson]

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How old were you when you went, oh, maybe this is something I want to do? Because that wasn't in your family. It was a very creative family.

[Susie Essman]

It was very, yes, you, you went to college with my cousin, as a matter of fact. Remember we discussed that. MICHAEL PRESSMAN oh, that's right.

[Ted Danson]

Yes, that's right. So wait, a cousin, but related how to you and your family?

[Susie Essman]

He's my second cousin. He, his father was my grandfather's brother, so he was really my mother's cousin.

[Ted Danson]

Gotcha.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, my mother's first cousin. But the ages were, you know, he was closer and he's five years older than me. So. Yeah, okay.

[Ted Danson]

So there you are in this creative family. But you're not thinking, or are you about New York or, I mean, performing or.

[Susie Essman]

From when I was a little girl, all I wanted to be was an actress. And somehow I had this idea and I was deeply insecure and no support whatsoever. You know, nobody ever told me anything good. I just had this idea that I had this talent. And I remember in first grade when they were doing a play and they gave me some little part and I didn't get Mrs. Claus. It was, I wanted to get Mrs. Claus. Santa and Mrs. Claus. They gave it to my friend Lisa, who I'm still friends with. And I remember thinking what a bunch of idiots they are, that they don't see that I'm like a great talent and they're just giving me these shit little parts. You know, I thought that I, like, how did they not recognize my ability? And then when I was about 8, I was in camp and we did the wizard of Oz as a play. Cause, you know, all Jewish kids go away to sleepaway camp. That's what we do. And you always do a musical. Cause it wasn't a sports camp. And I auditioned for Dorothy and I cried when I sang over the Rainbow. And they didn't give it to me. They gave it to some pretty little blonde, you know, and it was like, ah, fuck. And they gave me. They cast me as the Wicked Witch of the west, surprisingly. And it was no lines. It was pantomime. And I remember saying to the counselor, can I write my own lines? And I wrote this whole melting death scene, you know, And I tried to change it from Margaret Hamilton and make it different. And I did the whole scene. And I was supposed to crawl underneath the stage, crawl underneath the curtain, and, you know, in my death. And instead, I got a standing ovation. And I had to stand up out of my death scene and take a bow. And then at the curtain call, I got more applause than Dorothy. And then I said, all right, that's it. I need to be a character actress. I see that. That's my ability. I was eight.

[Ted Danson]

Eight years old. Wow.

[Susie Essman]

Eight years old. I was like, I gotta be a character actress. I don't. You know, being the witch is better than playing Dorothy. And then, you know, then puberty happens. And, you know, so many women relate to this. I got so deeply insecure. And there was theater stuff at my school. I was too scared to ever audition. And all I did was, you know, hang out at the football field and smoke pot and just lost. And then I went to SUNY Purchase, which is known as a great theater school. But I was too scared to audition. And I went there thinking, well, it's a theater school. I could take class. But that was not the case. Cause it was a conservatory. So then I went through four years of college and I was a poli sci major, urban studies major. And when I was a sophomore, I told my parents I wanted to quit and move into the city and take acting classes.

[Ted Danson]

At age. At age what? At age. What was this?

[Susie Essman]

A sophomore in college. So what was I, 19, 18, something? And they were like, you can't do that. You can't do that. So I didn't. And I graduated. And the minute I graduated, I moved into the city and started taking acting classes and waitressing. But then I got. I went. I was not. I was scared. I was in a deep, deep depression and scared and didn't know what to do with my life and was in a very bad mental place. Like a dark. Like a real dark depression, bad boyfriend and, you know, all of that. But when I was waitressing, the way that I would make it fun for myself is I would go back into the kitchen and imitate all the customers. So the people that I was waitressing with kept on telling me to get on stage and do standup. But I was too scared. So I took a class, and again, they would give an assignment and I would cut. Cause I was too scared to do the assignment. And one day this guy in class said we would go out after class and he was like, you're really funny when you do these characters. So how about if I just interview you in these different characters? And we did that in class and everybody laughed and it was like, wow, people are laughing. And then I took an improv class and I was like, found that I was really good at it, which I was, you know, scared to death to do. So again, they got they for those people forced me to go to an open mic night, which I did. And I just did. I never spoke in my own voice. I just did these characters that I used to do. People in my family, you know, the president of the Menudo fan club. I used to do this Hispanic girl and my grandmother and all her friends, you know, stuff like that. And there were these guys there who came over to me and they said, we're opening up a club and we think you're really funny. We'd like you to come work for us. And I was like, okay. I gave them my number, forgot all about it, never got on stage again. Cause I was too scared. And about three or four months later, they called me and they said, remember us? Well, we're opening up the club next week. We want you to come down. And I did. And that was a place called Comedy youy on University and 13th Street. And those guys just put me on stage. They just loved me and put me on stage. So for six months I just worked there and developed. And if not for them, I don't know that I ever would have been a standup. Cause the acting thing was not working for me. You know what that's like? You got your headshots and you're going around to agents and nobody wants you. You know, it's horrible. Nobody wants you. You're looking at backstage. Remember backstage I do the. Yeah. And you'd look at it for auditions and show up to these open calls. And nobody wanted me.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. No, It's a catch 22. You need an agent to help you get work. How do you get an agent? You gotta have work, you know? Yeah. Let me ask you, did you write. What was the process for you in the early standup? Did you write?

[Susie Essman]

I always wrote everything.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, the jokes, the. Pretty much a script.

[Susie Essman]

In the beginning, I wrote everything. And then after about six months, I realized I needed to speak in my Own voice. And I needed to. Needed to break out and go to the uptown clubs, which would be, you know, catch a rising star, the improv, the comic strip. Cause that's where you got seen in the industry. So I didn't. To me, in standup, the most difficult thing in standup is figuring out your voice, figuring out who you are as a comic. And so I had to go through that process. So I started emceeing and sort of just talking and figuring out. And then I got into a really bad habit where I would only write on stage. I would have premises and, you know, some comics, like Jerry Seinfeld, for example, he'll sit down every day and write jokes. I was never able to do that. Larry was always had things written and, you know, fully formed. I was never able to do that. I had to write with the gun to my head. So I would have a premise, I'd be on stage, and somehow I come up with a punchline in the moment on stage, I had to have that adrenaline, fear in order to get the punchline. And I developed my act like that.

[Ted Danson]

Did you. If you had to say, when I discovered my voice later on, how would you describe that voice if you had to put it in a sentence?

[Susie Essman]

I think what I started doing, it's funny because so many female comics do it now, but I started just talking about things that I was going through. I was dating a lot of younger guys. I was, you know, talking about sex when. Which most women were not talking about sex in a way that they actually enjoyed it.

[Ted Danson]

Right.

[Susie Essman]

It was, you know, you know, the old days. It was always like, oh, my husband, get him off of me. You know, that kind of crap. Yeah. And so I. I was this single girl out there dating and talking about that and talking a lot about my family. And I just tried to be authentic to. I realized that, you know, Joy Behar is my best friend.

[Ted Danson]

I love her, by the way. Say hi.

[Susie Essman]

Yes. And we started out together. She was already 40 when she started. Like, she didn't start doing standup really seriously till she was 40. So she was, in many ways, a mentor to me. And I remember the first time I saw her on stage, and I had this revelation where I thought, oh, I get it. I just have to be the way that I am sitting around the kitchen table talking to my girlfriends, which is what she was doing and what I always did and was funny with my girlfriend. So I tried to just make the audience into my friends and family and just be relaxed in front of them and just Present myself as how I did in real life. And eventually it developed and it was consistent. You have to be consistent, too. That's another thing. Stand up's hard.

[Ted Danson]

Consistent in that character that people are responding to.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you have to. To me, I always had to be truthful, even though it's not literally the truth.

[Ted Danson]

Right.

[Susie Essman]

You know, it had to be truthful and honest and. And then I just. I just developed into crowd work. Doing crowd work really well, which, you know, was originally just meaning working the audience. Cause I emceed a lot, which is how I developed in a lot of ways. So, yeah, it was a process that took a long, long time. A long time. I remember Ronnie Shakes, who was a great comic who died very young. I remember he said something to me when I first started saying something like, it takes 10 years or. No, he said, it takes five years to figure out who you are on stage. And I was arrogant. I was like, well, it's not gonna take me that long. It took me 10, you know, at least, if not 12. Who are some.

[Ted Danson]

Of the people you admire most in that same field?

[Susie Essman]

When I. Well, I mean, to me, the greatest standup ever was prior.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Susie Essman]

I just thought that he was just. Because he was everything, you know, he was. He was vulnerable and he ripped his heart open and. But yet he was really funny and he had great material and he did characters and he told stories and he was just everything that. Yeah. Made you think. Made you laugh. I mean, he was hilarious. And a lot of comics will say that he's their idol. And what was interesting, I had never been in a comedy club, and I came out to LA to visit my cousin Michael, and he had just directed Pryor in a movie. Some Kind of Hero was the name of the movie. And he took me to the Comedy Store to see him, and he was there workshopping material. It was after that first brilliant concert movie that he made. And I saw him and I was like, some stuff was not working. You know, he was workshopping. Some stuff was hilarious and some stuff wasn't working. And that was when I first realized it was before I had ever gotten on stage, that I thought you had to have it, like, all down. You know, I didn't know the process. You know, I saw these guys growing up on Ed Sullivan, and they had their bits, you know what I mean? And they'd be out. I thought that's. I didn't realize that you workshopped it and you worked it and. And you developed it. So he was really my biggest Influence in that way. But coming up, I came up with Jon Stewart and Colin Quinn and Joy Behar and. Oh, God, I'm forgetting people. Jerry was already well established by the time I came around. And Larry. Yeah, and Larry.

[Ted Danson]

Enough about Larry. Forgive my ignorance. Do you tour doing standup or do you do just individual nights here?

[Susie Essman]

I don't do it anymore, Ted. I don't do it anymore. I have such. I didn't tour that much because, you know, it was never. The women never really loved being on the road. The guys all got laid when they were on the road. The women, not so much. You know, we would have to, like, go back to this disgusting condo that they would put you up in. And I never did the road a lot. Luckily, I got used to get a lot of work doing and voiceovers. And I did like every country club in the tri state area. And I limped along making a living without going on the road. I'm slightly agoraphobic. Also. I don't like leaving home.

[Ted Danson]

Me either.

[Susie Essman]

Oh, really?

[Ted Danson]

I don't know if we ever know what is the world saying. What you should or shouldn't do with your career or what it is that it's originating from you. But I love ensemble. I love going to work in the same place, driving through the same studio gates. Now, did I have to love it because film didn't work out for me as much as television did? Maybe. But the truth is, I am the same way. I love going home at night. I love it. And I'm not great in a hotel room.

[Susie Essman]

You and I both. I know because we've had this discussion. Love to work. I love to work. I love the crew. I like the camaraderie. I love the whole feeling on set. You know, even. Even night shoots, which are so hard, and you're all sitting around freezing with a cup of coffee. And, you know, there's something. There's a romance to it that I enjoy. And I love the collaborative sense of it.

[Ted Danson]

Yep.

[Susie Essman]

Which is very different from stand up. Although stand up, you are collaborating with the audience.

[Ted Danson]

Right? Right. You know, I still marvel over, like, how good you are as an actor, throwing the ball back and forth. Because not everyone does that. Not everyone can be stand up funny, which you are, and turn around and be collaborative actor funny.

[Susie Essman]

But I also think, you know, the skill. One of the reasons why I was a successful standoff. Cause I was never a great writer. I was an okay writer. I was a great performer. Was because as a performer, I learned. And this goes back to my mother relationship with my mother. But I learned to listen to the audience. And I don't mean literally listen. You know, young comedians come to me and ask my advice, and I always tell them, you have to talk to the audience. And again, I don't mean literally talking to the audience. I mean, you actually, you're not up there, you know, just reading a cue card. You're up there connecting to an audience in a way. And I think that that's especially on Curb because we're improvising. Listening is the most important thing.

[Ted Danson]

Right, Right. It's so true. It is like. And the people who don't do that well on Curb or whatever are those who have planned out how to be funny. This is a great joke. So I'm going to make sure I work this in as opposed to show up, listen, and figure out how you can serve Larry in that moment. Right. Really?

[Susie Essman]

Exactly.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Susie Essman]

Which is the, to me, is way more fun.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, yeah, I agree. Plus, it's what we're supposed to be doing. No matter what job, acting job we're doing, we're supposed to be listening.

[Susie Essman]

You know, I think it's actually the key to every relationship in life.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Susie Essman]

You know, I mean, you have kids, listen to your kids, even. Even your animals, you know, listen. And in a marriage, it's really important.

[Ted Danson]

I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. What'd you say? And it relieves you of a big pressure because otherwise you think that you have to invent and know everything. You don't listen and you'll figure it out.

[Susie Essman]

Listen.

[Ted Danson]

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[Nick]

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[Ted Danson]

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Let's go back to the beginning of Curb. I'm assuming you would get recognized in New York from your standup here and there. Yeah, but, but you got shot out of a cannon by the second or third season of, it was season three. What was that like? I mean, it's complimentary and it feels good and it's, but it's also, can be complicated. What was that like to be shot out of that cannon?

[Susie Essman]

Well, I, I, it just anecdotally sees, you know, we were very under the radar the first few seasons, first two, and it was season three that I started to notice a difference, that people were stopping me in the street. You know, for me, it's, people just asked me to tell them to go fuck themselves, you know, or people would, I'd be at the produce section in Fairway or Zabar's and somebody would shove a phone in my face and say, it's my husband, call him a fat fuck, you know, that kind of thing. Which, you know, I'm not always in the mood. I'm shopping, you know, whatever. And it's a character I'm playing. It's not what I actually do in real life. So it was, I think, you know, in New York, people are very sophisticated in la too, they're very sophisticated. They don't really bother you. And generally people are very, what I would find is generally people would just stop me and say, I love you, or you made me laugh. And then you get those stories where they're like, my father was Dying. And all he did was watch you and, you know, that kind of thing, which is always still, to this day, touching to me and makes me feel like I actually maybe have a purpose in life, you know, but it was. It was nice. It was nice to have that recognition and people telling you that you made them laugh. I. You know what? This is going to sound so treacly, but I feel very lucky to be able to make people laugh. I feel extremely blessed to be able to make people laugh. It's like you're putting a good thing into the world.

[Ted Danson]

It is. I agree. And everybody says we're not curing cancer. I disagree.

[Susie Essman]

Exactly. We are.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Laughter is an amazing thing. I'm unlike you. I'm dependent on a funny writer.

[Susie Essman]

Well, I have to disagree with you, Ted, because I've improvised with you, and you're pretty damn funny.

[Ted Danson]

Okay, but a writer spent three months working on the setup for that. Funny, to be honest. But yes, actually, you know what if somebody says, I can be funny by listening. I can be funny in a moment off of something you did. But I would not say, you know, that I'm funny all by myself. I'm funny with myself.

[Susie Essman]

Well, I'm funny on curb. And I know you write those lines and I know you respond. And your character. You know what's always made me laugh? That not that Ted Danson is friends with Susie Essman, but that Ted Danson on the show is such good friends with Susie Green. I've always found that hilarious because it's so. Her character is so not somebody that Ted Danson would be friends with. Giving her. Well, I was about to say something that I can't say.

[Ted Danson]

Go, go, go. Giving her.

[Susie Essman]

No, no, no. It was about the season. I don't want to say anything to give anything away.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, very good, Very good.

[Susie Essman]

Just a birthday gift you gave me this season.

[Ted Danson]

Which is designed. That always made me to rub. Rub it in Larry's face.

[Susie Essman]

Right, exactly. Which I do.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, you do. I love also something that. I don't know how much part you had in it, probably, but your wardrobe Susie wears on the show is astoundingly, wonderfully, borderline bad.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, well, it's not just borderline. It's bad.

[Ted Danson]

Thank you.

[Susie Essman]

It's a character thing, you know, you know how some actors work from the inside out. You know, I know Lawrence Olivier used to always do, like, putty on his nose and then become the character for me with Susie Green. I put on those outfits and I just become her. You know, it's like the wardrobe. And then I just become her. I kind of. I developed the idea of what I wanted her to look like. I just wanted. You know, I don't want to play myself. I'm with myself all day long. I wanted to play a character, and I wanted her to just think she had. There were these girls that I grew up with that used to be so secure in who they were, and they were completely mediocre, and yet they were completely secure. They must have had mothers that really, really loved them, because they were so secure in who they were. And I used to marvel at. Because I had a very difficult relationship with my mother, and I was deeply insecure, and I wanted to be that kind of a character that just whatever she wore, she thought she was gorgeous and dressed. You know, she thinks Cheryl has the worst taste in the whole world and that she has the greatest taste. And I just wanted to play this character that just thought that everything she did was just fabulous and had no insecurities whatsoever.

[Ted Danson]

And if you don't like it, girlfriend, that's what I. Fuck yourself.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah. And that's what I kind of created. And our first wardrobe designer, Wendy Range Rao, I remember telling her how I wanted her to dress, and I said to her, she's like, well, where am I gonna find clothes like that? And I said, the back room of Lomans. And you wouldn't know this cause you're a guy. And she was like, what's that? So I had to take her to the back room of Lomans and show her how these women dressed.

[Ted Danson]

Where's Lohman's?

[Susie Essman]

Well, it's now. It's out of business. It's bankrupt now.

[Ted Danson]

Was it New York or.

[Susie Essman]

It was in New York, but there was also one right next to the Beverly center in la. But so then. And then each. Then Christina Mangini came along, and then Leslie Schilling, our wardrobe designers. And each one took it to the next level. And it's really them that create. You know, they helped me create the look. Just finding the most bizarre. I mean, Leslie has taken it beyond anything this season.

[Ted Danson]

It's amazing how much I will do all this thinking about, oh, my character will be this and that, or, you know, I'll even go so far. I'm so lame. It's like, what if something funny comes his way? He'll probably react like I'm reacting to imaginary bullshit in my head that has nothing to do with anything. So I have all these bad instincts. Maybe I could have a scar or a limp. Yeah, yeah, that'd Be it. And then you walk into wardrobe and if you've got a creative soul opposite you, all of a sudden they dress, put you in something and you go, oh, I got it for me on the Good place, the wardrobe. The costume designer handed me a bow tie and I put the bow tie on.

[Susie Essman]

It was like, oh, yeah, that completely changes everything.

[Ted Danson]

Everything.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Pretty bold.

[Susie Essman]

Well, that's what's so much fun about film and television that a lot of people don't realize how collaborative. They just see us because we're in front of the camera. But, you know, and if you notice, if you're on set, you see the makeup artist is only looking at your makeup. The wardrobe person is only looking at your wardrobe. The lighting person's only looking at the lighting. You know what? Everybody's doing their small little thing and they're so focused and so good at what they do.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Magic wand. What are you doing five years from now? Everything. Do the whole picture work wise first.

[Susie Essman]

Well, five years from now I would love to be on a series in New York that shoots in New York because as you know, I live in New York. That is fun. I want to work with people that I respect and love and do stuff that's funny. That's my five years from now. And I love doing voiceover animation. I love doing that kind of stuff.

[Ted Danson]

You do a lot of that too?

[Susie Essman]

I do a lot of that, yeah. And I really, really love that. You know, again, one of the joys go back to Curb. One of the joys of Curb is that we don't have to memorize lines.

[Ted Danson]

Yes.

[Susie Essman]

And it's the same thing when you're doing animation. You've got a script in front of you, which, you know.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, you just have to show up. Basically.

[Susie Essman]

You just have to show up. And I always have tremendous anxiety when I have to memorize lines. I mean, I'm in bed the night before, like, you know, going over it. Going over. I'm not very good at it. Although it is a muscle you get better at.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. My fear now is like, don't let your, your desire to, you know, and your focus be only on saying the lines correctly to the, you know, and leave behind the being with and listening and reacting, you know, spontaneously because you're worrying about it.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, it's much easier when you're improvised. I mean, I would love to do another improvised show, but what I think people don't realize, a lot of people have tried to do improvised shows post Curb and they don't have Larry's story brain. So they don't work. Cause what we're not doing is just some free for all improv. There's a very. I mean, I'm telling you, you know this, but I'm telling the audience there's a very detailed outline and we know exactly what has to happen in the scene. And it's all about pushing the story forward.

[Ted Danson]

And the first take, a lot of times is crap, you know, and then you go, okay, don't do that. And do the. And everyone kind of realizes, oh, I better not. That was the wrong hallway to go down. So by about the fourth or fifth take, you haven't improvised this script, but everybody knows where they're going.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, we find the scene. I think it takes us a number of takes to find every now and then you find it really early on, but I think it's usually 4, 5, 6 where we find the scene and then, you know, we. And it's an interesting way that we work because nobody says, okay, that's it, do that again. We just know.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. And I. You, you don't have the. Oh dear, I better not go out and have a glass of wine with my friends tonight because I have to work the next day. Which with scripted shows, I, you know, you do, you do. And. But you do have to show up on Curb and other shows like that with an athletic energy. You need to be. Your headlights need to be on because it's fast.

[Susie Essman]

It's exhausting.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, yeah, it is.

[Susie Essman]

It's exhausting. I mean, I hate to say that because there's like really exhausting jobs.

[Ted Danson]

Yes.

[Susie Essman]

But you know, but five years from now I want to be working at something interesting and well written, I guess.

[Ted Danson]

Is creative people with creative souls.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, with creative souls that I enjoy their company. But I don't see retiring, do you?

[Ted Danson]

No, no, I don't. I can see not doing 10 months a year kind of work, but maybe seven or eight, you know.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Hey, you are. Here's the truth. I will. Here I am doing a podcast because I love going to work and it was the only work available. So yeah, right now, yes, I can. I want to be able to see what funny. I'm 75. I'll be 76 when I start working on this next thing that's lined up that I want to know what being funny. A 76 year old man. I want to know what that is in relationship to funny. I want to do that the rest of my life and I want to do things for my Magic wand I'd want to add. I want things that are reflective of, of the humanity of my moment in time. I wanna know what it's like, the frailties, the humor, the whatever of being 76.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah. And you know what else? Cause you know, we both have grandkids. I also wanna do things that my grandkids can see.

[Ted Danson]

Yes, yes.

[Susie Essman]

Which is why I like doing cartoony stuff. You know, they're a little young now to see, but I want them to be able to be like, oh my God, that's grandma's voice.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. I will forever owe. Mike Shore, who created the Good Place, is a wonderful writer creator because 12, 13, 14 year olds love the Good Place.

[Susie Essman]

It was a great show, Ted.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, no, it really was. Really was. And it delights me to have people come up thoroughly engaged with something that you were part of. It was really, really fun.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, it is.

[Ted Danson]

Can I back up one more second?

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, do whatever you want.

[Ted Danson]

Okay. Bronx, Bronx. When I was eight through. Let's go 15, I was jumping on horses in the middle of Arizona and riding in this direction, that direction, whatever I wanted. Up at 8. Be back by dinner time or you're in trouble. With my friends, it was a very rural, amazing life. What were you doing? What was your life like 8 to 15?

[Susie Essman]

Well, at that point, we didn't live in the Bronx anymore. We lived in Mount Vernon, which is right next to the Bronx, but more suburban. But not suburban. Suburban. We didn't have horses. You know, it wasn't suburban, suburban or rural in any way. You know, it's an interesting thing. Cause I think that you end up doing what you end up doing. Like when I was a little girl, 8, 9, 10, and my friends wanted to play house, I was like, I don't wanna play house. It's the most boring thing. I don't wanna be married. I don't wanna. I got, my sister got for Hanukkah one year, a little reel to reel tape recorder. So I was playing Johnny Carson. I would walk around and interview people and play Johnny Carson. I wanted to play talk show host. And I was always. And writing.

[Ted Danson]

So that was early on. Susie was showing up early on. Wow, that's cool.

[Susie Essman]

Early on. And I would write all these plays and things and get the neighborhood to put them on, you know, in the backyard or in the whatever. And you know, in our house we had like a little cubby hole that I would do like little shows in. And so, yeah, I was always doing back. It's funny because, you know Jimmy, my husband, who, you know, he was building Go Karts. Cause he ended up being a builder, and he was building Go Karts and this and that and. And that's what he was doing. He ended up doing that. And I was walking around with my tape recorder interviewing people and playing different characters.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, I love that.

[Susie Essman]

That's what I was doing. And then I used to go. My grandmother lived in the Bronx, and she lived right across the street from Yankee Stadium. And in the summers, I used to spend the summers with her. And we would go to this beach club that was like a dumpy place. And it was called Shore Haven. But I thought it was called Shore Haven, like George Bernard Shaw Haven. Because that's what she used to say. We're going Shore Haven. So that's what I thought it was. And I would go with her, and she would be sitting with all the old ladies playing canasta or cards. And I would just sit and watch them like I was Jane Goodall or something watching, you know, this sociological thing. And just like I remember there was this one woman, Mitzi, who was clearly the ringleader, you know, And I would just watch. Watch the. How they all interacted with each other. And they would say, she's so good. Look how she just sits. She's so good. But I was studying them. I was just studying these old ladies who had all been immigrants and then all come to this country and just things like that. I was just always observing people. And then I would go home and I would imitate them. All my family.

[Ted Danson]

I love was. I read that you're great grandfather was a silent film actor. Did I get that right?

[Susie Essman]

Yes, he was in the Yiddish theater.

[Ted Danson]

And his wife had something to do with opera. Am I getting that right?

[Susie Essman]

Well, no. My great grandfather, his name was Leo Fyodorov. He was the impresario of the Russian Grand Opera Company.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, wow.

[Susie Essman]

And then they came to this. They left Moscow in 1917, right at the revolution, and they toured all through the Far east. And they ended up coming here through Seattle or something. And then they toured all through this country. They ended up in. In New York, and they were bankrupt. And then he was in silent films. He was with Lon Chaney.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, wow.

[Susie Essman]

Or Chaney in Laugh, Clown Laugh and Phantom of the Opera. And he was in the Yiddish theater and. Yeah, but I never knew him.

[Ted Danson]

No, but did just having that family history did that because some people. I had no actors in my family going back at all. Did it have an impact?

[Susie Essman]

I think it did I think that it told me that it was a thing that you were possibly able to do for a living in life. And then growing up in New York, my parents used to take me to Broadway all the time, which was a huge influence on me. You know, being in the theater, it was. As a kid, it was so exciting to sit in. It still is. I still love going to Broadway. But to sit in the theater and the orchestra starts, you know, and then there's actors and they're singing and dancing, and it was thrilling to me. And having people in my family who were in the arts, I think, allowed me to know that it was a possibility to do. Although I had no encouragement whatsoever from anybody, they thought I was crazy.

[Ted Danson]

So not warm and fuzzy at home with parents.

[Susie Essman]

No, no, not warm and fuzzy. No, not warm and fuzzy. And very much. When I said that I wanted to be an actress, you know, like a lot of eye rolling and, you know, just I had to waitress and support myself. And nobody ever said I was good and you could do that. Nobody ever said, follow your dreams. You could do this. Remember in A Star Is Born with a Grandmother, the original one with Jeanette Gainer, and the grandmother says, you could do this, and nobody ever did that. You know, I think comedians, and some people might disagree with this, but I think for comedians, that there's gotta be. It's so hard to get up there and do that. There's gotta be some place in you, no matter how insecure you are, and we're all deeply insecure. There's gotta be something in you that knows that you can do this and that you have the talent and a.

[Ted Danson]

Smidge of fuck you. Watch this.

[Susie Essman]

Exactly. You know, not even a smidge. A lot.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, I so hope with your magic wand, you so deserve to be New York, New York, New York. Because that really is, you know, working in New York. There's nothing like it. And you deserve that.

[Susie Essman]

Oh, you did? You did. What did you do in New York?

[Ted Danson]

I did damages. Damages?

[Susie Essman]

You got in New York?

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

And which, by the way, can I just say.

[Susie Essman]

Oh, bored to death. I loved you in Bored to Death.

[Ted Danson]

It was an homage.

[Susie Essman]

I mean, Damages was a real dramatic role for you, and that just showed.

[Ted Danson]

Your range, but also funny to my. I was so far off base, so ignorant of the fact that Glenn was going to eat my lunch, that it was kind of funny.

[Susie Essman]

Yeah, but it was drama. I mean, you were acting.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, acting. Yeah. I love Bored to Death.

[Susie Essman]

Shooting in New York's a little. Bored to Death was a terrific series I loved that. I watched the whole thing. Shooting in New York's a little more difficult than shooting in la, I think, but, you know, it's kind of worth it.

[Ted Danson]

Well, I don't know if. Because you grew up in New York, but for us who didn't but went to study. I got to New York in 1972, having come from Carnegie Mellon University, which was all acting kind of thing. And we all went to New York and tried to make our bones, and we knocked on doors and auditioned. And if you studied acting again, if you do that and then come back someday to work in New York, it is so thrilling to me. Working in New York was just like, wow.

[Susie Essman]

Did you ever do theater here in New York?

[Ted Danson]

I did. My first job was at Theater 4, I think, like on 54th street, off Broadway. And it was a Tom Stoppard play, 21 acts called the Real Inspector Hound, an After Magritte. And it was 1972. 73. And it was truly some of the funniest writing in New York at the moment, so. And I understudied.

[Susie Essman]

Well, he was. He was a great writer.

[Ted Danson]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got to understudy. And it was after the play had been going for about a year, which is about the same amount of time that it takes for most of the actors in the production to go, I want a long weekend, or I'm gonna pretend to be sick or something. So I went on every night. After about three months, I was going on every night doing somebody's part. It was a great job.

[Susie Essman]

That was lucky. That was lucky.

[Ted Danson]

Then I have my one Broadway story. It's kind of wonderfully classic. It was a show out of the Goodman Theater in Chicago, and it was called I Can't Remember, Remember, and, Sorry, that's not the name of it. I can't remember it. But I. I played a bartender and we went out. Yeah. I was like the third lead kind of thing. And I. We did really well. It was really well produced and directed. So all the jokes, all the rim shots were perfectly executed, so you couldn't help but laugh. And we came to New York opening night, huge laughter. But it was the kind of laughter that they'd laugh because the rim shot, you know, was so good that they forced you to laugh. But then you could hear the laugh going, wait a minute. What am I laughing? You know? And then they'd rally again. And we went to Sardi's, which was like a dream come true. All your famous people on the wall. And there were some famous people who had come and went to the party and. And this was back during Clive Barnes and Rex Reed. Rex Reed hated Clive Barnes, the critic for the New York Times.

[Susie Essman]

For the New York Times, yeah.

[Ted Danson]

Who could open and close. I mean, close a show like, boom, like that. So I was upstairs at Sardis, and there's a bar and it has a cage that comes down at the end of the night. And Rex Reed was holding court, and the papers arrived for the reviews, and he decided to read Clive Barnes review of our show. Ridiculing and mocking Clive Barnes. Choice of words. While Clive Barnes on paper was ripping us a new asshole and just hated the production. So you found yourself having to laugh at Rex Reed while hearing that, you know, your show was getting clouded, that.

[Susie Essman]

Your show was gonna. That was it.

[Ted Danson]

Right. So the next morning, I take my. My mother and father had flown out from Arizona. We were in Times Square, and I put them on in a cab and off they went. And I went to do the matinee and I walked in a little early. I think I was the first one there. And the stage door man said, hey, hey, whoa, where are you going? I went, I work here. And he pointed to the sign and went, not anymore you don't, pal. And they closed it. It was my one close. Yeah. It was my Broadway showcase.

[Susie Essman]

Well, at least you got to go to Sardis.

[Ted Danson]

I did. They did.

[Susie Essman]

And it, you know, that's very All About Eve.

[Ted Danson]

Yes. Without. Without the successful ending. Yeah. Right now, I had trouble getting arrested in New York, theater wise.

[Susie Essman]

So what year did you. Did you do cheers?

[Ted Danson]

I was 82 and I moved.

[Susie Essman]

82.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah, we moved to New York. From New York to LA. 70. Right around the time I realized, oh, we're going to have children. I wanted to go west, closer to my family, closer to what made me feel comfortable. And Southern California had always been part of my life, as well as Arizona. So going there and any audition that involved film or television that I didn't get in New York, but it just made me realize I really want to be doing that. So we went to California. Yeah.

[Susie Essman]

And it worked out very nicely for you, Ted.

[Ted Danson]

Did you. And here we are, you in New York, me in la, talking to each other. I. I adore you. I'm so glad that we got there.

[Susie Essman]

I'll come to LA anytime to work with you.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah. Back at you. Come visit. Mary sends her love. Come visit.

[Susie Essman]

And I send mine back. I adore her.

[Ted Danson]

Hey, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Susie Essman]

Thank you, Ted Danson. See you soon.

[Ted Danson]

Bye, Susie.

[Unknown]

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