← Who Did What Now With Katie Charlwood
Who Did What Now With Katie Charlwood
171. Captain Morgan - Pirate, Knight & Politician - Part II
01:11:56
The return of Captain Blood...
Loading summary
Transcript25 lines
- [00:10]
Verizon Advertiser
This holiday, Verizon is helping you bundle up incredible gifts and savings. You'll get the latest phone with a new line on my plan and a brand new smartwatch and tablet. No trade in needed even on our lowest price plan. That's two gifts for your family and one for you or two for you and one for someone else or or three gifts for you and only you. Either way, you save big on three amazing gifts at Verizon, all on the best 5G network. Visit Verizon today. Rankings based on rootmetric Truth score report dated 1 each 2025. Your results may vary. Service plan required for watch and tablet. Additional terms apply.
- [00:40]
Ryan Reynolds
Hey Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day. Yeah, give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront.
- [01:03]
Mint Mobile Advertiser
Payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow 135 gigabytes of network busy taxes and fees extra see mint mobile.com.
- [01:10]
Better Wild Advertiser
Dog owners we love to spoil our pups and more than anything, we want them to live long, healthy, comfortable lives. But here's the thing a lot of us don't realize when our dogs are trying to tell us something's wrong. Constant paw licking, rubbing on the couch or obsessively eating grass can all be signs of allergies. Because 90% of a dog's immune system lives in the gut, supporting digestion is key. That's where Better Wild Allergy Relief Soft Chews come in. These veterinarian approved chews use an ancestral blend of wolf probiotics called Ancestral Advantage to strengthen your dog's natural defenses. Better Wild even offers chews for joint support, dental health and a digestive meal Topper all science backed solutions to help your dog feel their best. Right now Better Wild is offering our listeners up to 40% off of your order@betterwild.com podcast that's betterwild.com podcast for up to 40% off your order. Betterwild.com podcast.
- [02:12]
Katy Charlewood
Hello delicious friends, and welcome to who did what Now? The History podcast. That's not your history class with me, your host, Katy Charlewood, history harlot and reader of books. And this is part two of two, the second half, if you will, of the Tale of Captain Morgan, the man, not the Rum, right? Speaking of the Rum. I was told this week that it's technically not rum. It's actually more like a bourbon because it's made with, like, mash or whatever. I. I have to look that up because I didn't have time. So I am gonna look up this whole thing because I was like, is it not rum? But, like, I. I used to do a joke, actually, about. About Captain Morgan, about Captain Jack Sparrow being, like, drinking it. I was, like, drinking it and then catching. So he's, like, catches the bottle, brings it down, takes one look at it with an outstretched arm and goes, captain Morgan. I don't like the competition. And then smashes it on the ground. But yes, to everyone. To everyone who was kind enough to contact me and let me know that there is a town called Jamaica in New York and that's where the sorting office is, and that my post wasn't going to the country of Jamaica. Thank you. Thank you. Geography clearly not my strong point. Nobody's. Nobody's coming to me for geographic. Geographic questions. Right. Strangely good orienteering, though. I can follow a map. Like, it's just instructions, though, innit? Like, you're just following instructions on a map, really. This is a river, this is a road. If you need. You know, you just recognize places and follow it like an IKEA instruction manual. Like, if you ever need anyone to help you build IKEA for Najar, I know a gal. It's me. I'm your gal. If you're thinking, jeez, this episode came out a wee bit early. Yes, it did. There is nothing I hate more. Well, no, there's many things I hate more, like bigotry. But I generally quite dislike having to wait for a part two of anything because I am genuinely impatient. So I always wanted to get the part two out sooner. I just physically did not have the time to get this done. Like, I am. I am literally at my kitchen table after packing bags because I'm heading to Dublin first thing in the morning because I'm taking the kids and my mum to go see the lights at Dublin Zoo and to go to my son. I'm taking him to a CG5 consult. So, like, it's all go. I was working today. We did this. We're gonna be going in the morning. It's. It's all go. So. So, like, I don't even know if I'm gonna be back home in time to record the next episode. So it's probably gonna be somewhere between 12 and 24 hours later than it should be. But I have it written. I just have to be able to record it. But I do need to get to sleep tonight, so this needs to be done now. But I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, katie, quit your jibber jabber and fact me. In fact you, I will. Because all the sources were listed in the previous episode. So all that's left to say is. Are you sitting comfortably? Good. Then let's begin the tale of Captain Henry Morgan. Again, the pirate, not the rum. So time to Cliff Notes catch up. Henry Morgan, actually, Harry Morgan was Welsh. He moved to Bristol, ended up in the West Indies. Still started off as a soldier for Britain in the Anglo Spanish War. One of many, many. And he may or may not have been an indentured servant for a time. So he joins a pirate crew, becomes a captain, gaining a no fucking around reputation, becomes a privateer, marries his cousin, becomes an admiral and commits blatant acts of illegal piracy. After which he's in Jamaica, making his buddy, the deputy Governor, Thomas Muddyford, really fucking nervous. Modiford. See, he had given Henry Morgan a letter of marque that granted him permission to attack Spanish ships, but not any Spanish territories. So not on land. Right? You can plunder and pillage as long as you're on the water, but you cannot do it on land. Just kind of like in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Davy Jones could not set foot on land, okay? He could not do that. Just like Captain Morgan could not attack on land, okay? So it used to be, like I said in the previous episode, it used to be that you could attack settlements, right? And that would be fine. But then they basically attacked a settlement a little too hard and King Charles II went, no, don't do that. No, because, like, the outrage even amongst, like, the court and everything, because of just how violent and debauched the whole thing was. So they were like, oh, no, we can't be doing that though. So so basically he was like, the letter of mark covers these specific things. And so Captain Morgan performed a legal act of piracy. Now, here's the thing. The amount of men, and it is men, it is men, specifically who have been in my comment section this week on, on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, who keep arguing on behalf of Captain Henry Morgan, as if Captain Henry Morgan did not do the very things that I said he was doing. And one, they're wrong. And two, and two, the level of confidence one has to have to argue with a historian over a topic that they have quite aggressively researched, fact checked. Because listen, I'm not a pirate historian, okay? There are pirate Historians, just like there are Viking historians. They're not called Viking historians, they're called something else. Like they are like medieval Norse or whatever it is, right? Like there are historians, we all focus on like our own special topics. Like you have Dr. Kate Lister, who is a sex historian as is. I think Dr. Carolyn west might be as well. And obviously Dr. Esme Louise James, she's also a sex historian. These people exist in these fields. I don't know why I chose sex historians specifically, but I know them well and so that seems to be the better option. So pirate historians, I am not one of those. I am a historian who covers misinformation and propaganda in history from typically the early modern period upwards. So bullshit in history that has been presented as not bullshit. Really? Really, that's my gig. So when I see something and I see say for example, how Henry Morgan was portrayed as opposed to what he did, that I can see that. And I work from there. So I've had like actual pirate historians go on and go, oh no, she's right by the way. Like she is though, good job. Because I fact check stuff. I, I do my research, lads. I don't mean to be a dick about it. And like, and if I get something wrong, Grant, I, I can deal with that. I'll correct it at some point. But like, yeah, yeah, accountability, yeah, but make sure I'm wrong before you try and correct me. Cuz, like what? The audacity. Like you're not an expert on piracy, just cuz you used to burn DVDs, man. I understand we really loved Limewire and Napster back in the day, but you really need to stop. But yeah, I get back to this. Sorry for the sidebar, but it was just like really? Like why are you arguing this? Like, like somebody got mad because I used the term war criminal and they were just like, war criminals didn't exist yet. And I'm like, I assure you they did. Just because the terminology didn't exist doesn't mean that the act didn't. Right, that like get over it. But anyway, back to Captain Morgan. The attack on Portobello was an act of piracy. And it was causing a wee bit of a problem for Modiford because Morgan was his number one privateer. Like he was very clear about this. This was his number one guy and he's out there doing illegal shit. And as such he's guilty by association. So Thomas Mitaford, he was a royalist, right? He had fought on the side of King Charles the First during the English Civil War. Now this Meant that he fought against Cromwell and his Parliamentarians, but after his military service ended, he, like, hightailed it to Barbados where he owned a plantation, right? And while he's in Barbados, he becomes a man of influence and standing. Now, remember, none of these. None of these are technically good people, because you can't own a person and be like, I'm a good guy. No. So he was made a colonel of the regiment in Barbados. And so being a royalist was. When parliamentary forces demanded the surrender of Barbados, he fought for it, right? He was like, no. Which was, you know, okay for a while. But then when Charles the First was beheaded and the Royalists lost the Battle of Worcester, his loyalties started to shift a wee bit. Probably because he liked having his head attached to his body. But he ends up entering secret negotiations. It's a wee bit sleeker, innit? Right? He enters these secret negotiations with the Roundheads and joined them by taking his regiment with him. Now he gets made governor of Barbados, but in a. In a shocking twist, everybody hates him, you know, probably because he's a fucking tongue coat. So when eventually the monarchy is restored and the Restoration. Because, yeah, of course, it's the. The mon monarchy's restored in the Restoration. That was really clever right in there, wasn't it? That was really good on my part. When Charles II takes the throne, Barbados gets a new governor and Modiford's out on his arse. He managed to not piss everybody off because he does get the job of deputy Governor of Jamaica, right? So he's got. He's got that. So skip forward to now. And he is stressing because Captain Morgan has plundered the shit out of a major city on the Spanish Main. Like, it's not. Like it was a wee town and this could be swept under the rug. Like, it's not as if he can cover this up and hide it. No, no, no, no. This is big news and it is absolutely going to reach the ears of the King. So the governor wants to get ahead of the game. What's that misinformation, you say? Creating the narrative, you say. What? Who would know anything about that? You say. Anyhow, like, he writes to England to exonerate himself, right? He's saying that he didn't sanction or approve the assault on Portobello and that his letter of marque only covered attacks at sea. Only like, he is totally trying to save his arse at this point. So he's doing that and he's trying to. Like, I had no knowledge this was without my consent. Nothing to do with me, by the way. That being said. That being said, he's like, the Caribbean is, like, super treacherous and dangerous. Like, he tries to paint it as, like, this big, scary, like, very, like, lawless place. Like, it's very dangerous. And. And everybody's watching their back at all times. And that the Spanish were planning to attack Jamaica. And because they were planning to attack Jamaica, he was just trying to get ahead of it because of those dastardly Spaniards. So Modiford is telling England that Captain Morgan wasn't doing any of that under his orders, but he was preemptively striking the enemy to protect British territory. So effectively, effectively, the blame is being shifted to the Spanish. Like, and it helps, you know that they have been at war quite a few times because you've got, like, one Anglo Spanish War, and then you have another Anglo Spanish War. Like, there's a lot of Anglo Spanish wars happening. That being said, when is the Anglo not at war? You know what I mean? At this point, we're at war with Christmas. Sorry, I can't help myself. I just love the fact as well that he's trying to turn around and go, I had no knowledge of this. But he was doing the right thing, though, because those. Those Spanish over there. Ooh. What's interesting, though, out of all the antagonizing and attacking that's happening, like, during this, very little of the attacking, like, the going on the offense is by the Spanish. Like, I'm not here to justify any colonial power by any stretch of the imagination, but, like, they're just kind of.
- [17:19]
Verizon Advertiser
There a lot of the time.
- [17:20]
Katy Charlewood
And they're not. Certainly not to the extent that the English are doing, like, it's wild. So now Morgan and Modiford, they have a plan. Spain is the enemy and they're going to attack. So they're basically trying to, like, create this narrative that the Spanish are getting ready to attack English territory, as if they're not just, you know, trying to continue invading the continent that they have colonized. Right. Weird. But, yeah, Morgan, he leaves Port Royal and He sails with 800 men across 10 ships.
- [18:04]
Prolon Advertiser
Vache.
- [18:05]
Katy Charlewood
Yes. To those of you who speak French, that is cow island. Yep, yep. That was. That's, I'm going to assume, an island that they put cows on. What's funny is, like, the Spaniards, like I mentioned in the previous episode, they brought, like, livestock with them. And so at this point, they had created, like, feral hogs and feral cows just, like, out in the wild, like, they un. Domesticated. A cow is a cow. Domesticated, but like, yeah, there was just like oxen and wild, like things happening specifically because the Spanish brought them over. But yeah, so Cow Island, Yaravash, is a rendezvous point for him and his men. And Murray Ford, he was now in on this. He's like, okay, we need to sort of build ourselves up a bit. And so he sends a Royal Navy frigate. So a frigate, if you don't know, was a three masted warship, like especially during the 17th century. So it's quite fast, you know, it's like quicker than a galleon, for example. And it was used for like scouting, reading, escorting. Like it was just. Yeah, it was, it was a warship. Okay. Anyway, this Royal Navy frigate, the Oxfold, it was sent by Modiford to be the flagship of Morgan's fleet. And so, and by adding this impressive ship to the fleet, Captain Morgan would be able to take the Spanish settlement of Cartagena de Indias quite easily. This ship was massive. It had like 36 guns. Like, it was a very intimidating vessel. Like, and the whole point of it was that, like, it's a warship now. It's a Navy warship. There was no reason to be giving this to a privateer. But Modiford's like, let's do this. Famous last words. No, it's not famous last words. That being said, it's. Okay, let's get into this. So Cartagena des Indias was the richest city on the Spanish main, right. It is a major port on the northern coast of what is now Colombia. I think it's now just called Cartagena. So it was the main port for the export of Bolivian silver to Spain. And it was a massive trade port for the Spanish Empire. And que surprise, it was a key part in the import of enslaved Africans under the Haciento de Negros. And what's that when it's at home? Well, let me tell you, the Haciento de Negros, or the Agreement of Blacks. I don't like saying that out loud. It was a contract system used by the Spanish crown between the 16th and 18th centuries. This granted monopoly rights to like merchants or companies, asientistas to supply a set number of enslaved Africans to the Spanish Americas. Like in exchange for payments to the crown and access to, to this trade. So yeah, this place is super rich because it's a major hub of the Spanish American slave trade. Right. That's what this is. So load of money, loads of stuff going on. So Captain Morgan, he gets to Eravash K island and he sees a French ship there and he Offers to have that ship join their fleet in the attack, but they politely declined to acquiesce to the request. Now, this Friendship French ship, Not Friendship French ship, they had taken provisions from an English ship and they had not paid for them, instead had given them bills of exchange, which they were to be paid in Tortuga and Jamaica. So it's basically like an IOU situation, which is very trusting. So Morgan, he acts, like, totally cool with it. He's like, bills of exchange, that's totally fine. But remember, he is a sneaky sausage. He invites the French commander and his men to join him and to dine on his massive ship. And when they step on board, they are taken prisoner. And they are tre confused, right? Very confused. He tells them that they're being arrested for piracy against a British vessel, right? And he just takes their ship, right? So he's feeling very smug at this point. But, well, right, he's taken the ship. He's gone, oh, this is piracy. Because you didn't pay for them. And they're like, but we're gonna pay for them. And he's like, are you though? Are you though? So he's just blaming them for following the rule of the thing they were doing, right? He's. He's loopholed it, right? But karma is a bitch, like me. And on the 2nd of January, 1669, he calls a council of war with all of his captains aboard the Oxford, because they're obviously gonna meet on the best ship, obviously. And then there's a spark in the powder magazine. So big ship, loads of guns, 36. So lots of gunpowder, lots of stuff on that ship. And then bada bing, bada boom. Oh, that's actually funny because, like, what I wrote here on the. In my notes was, boom shaka laka laka boom. That's. I'm too white to say that. Anyway, the Oxford exploded because, again, all of the gunpowder, the ship was destroyed and 300 of Morgan's men were dead. So Morgan and the captains on one side of the table, they were blasted right out of the ship and into the water. And they survived. The four on the other side of the table did not. The Oxford was tied to two other ships at the time. So when it sank, it brought two more down with it, right? As it was sinking, like, it goes down now, I feel like, because this was happening, a council, a war meeting, I feel like loose lips sink ships. That being said, there is a theory, right? There's a wee theory that it's not just this that led to this happening that it wasn't just like an accidental spark. There's a theory that with the capture of these, you know, French whatever sailors and this friendship that they've acquired that they were like celebrating and having a wee party and, you know, going a bit too far and then whoosh, somebody strike something and again, boom shakalaka boom. Yeah, no, I'm definitely too late for that. So this ship goes down, two other ships go down with it. And Captain Morgan instructs his crew to search for bodies, you know, but like not to give them a proper burial or anything. Right. He's not, he's not that into it. The reason he's doing that is so that they can search the bodies of the dead for valuables. So they do that. He collects them all together, they search them for valuables and then they dump them back into the ocean to, to be devoured by the monsters of the sea. The monsters of the sea. That, that was my attempt at Welsh. A Welsh accent. It's, it's not great. So he's got all the valuables from his dead men. He's lost three ships, including his super big awesome 36 gun ship, the frigate is gone. And now he has to figure out what to do next.
- [27:12]
Verizon Advertiser
This holiday, Verizon is helping you bundle up incredible gifts and savings. You'll get the latest phone with a new line on my plan and a brand new smartwatch and tablet. No trade in needed even on our lowest price plan. That's two gifts for your family and one for you or two for you and one for someone else or three gifts for you and only you. Either way, you save big on three amazing gifts at Verizon, all on the best 5G network. Visit Verizon today. Rankings based on rootmetric truth score report dated 1 each 2025. Your results may vary. Service plan required for watch and tablet. Additional terms apply.
- [27:42]
Ryan Reynolds
Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half.
- [27:53]
Katy Charlewood
Half the service.
- [27:54]
Ryan Reynolds
Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day. Yeah, give it a try@mintmobile.com Switch upfront.
- [28:05]
Mint Mobile Advertiser
Payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed flow outer 35 gigabytes of network spizy taxes and fees extra c mint mobile.com.
- [28:17]
Katy Charlewood
So Morgan, he's lost a ton of men and his best ship. So he's not Feeling at this point, super confident. So instead of attacking the very rich, very important city of Cartagena, he decides to aim for a smaller target. So they go look for one. And this is like, this is just a calamity of errors. Like more ships are separated from his flotilla due to like a storm. And then he is down to eight ships and 500 men, which is less than what he started with, right? Like this 800 that he'd got in the island. Like he had other crews join him. So he had like 1200 at one point and it's just like a load, a load. But this French pirate that's there, he suggests that they attack Maracaibo and Gibraltar. They're both on Lake Maracaibo in modern day Venezuela. I have also heard it being referred to as the Sea of Maracaibo. Now listen again. Geography not my strong point. Is it a lake, is it a sea? I mean, it has an opening from the ocean. Okay, so Maracaibo and Gibraltar, they had been attacked two years previously. And so this guy, he knew the area. So when the fleet get to the Sea of Maracaibo and it's basically a lagoon, okay? And the big ships, they cannot make it through. It's such a small entrance, like to this lake. They just, they're not going to fit. And so they get into small boats and canoes, right? Canoes will keep showing up. They're not kayaks, they're canoes. That's the shape of the boat. Sidebar. I once got into an argument with my uncle's ex wife when I was, I want to say somewhere between 9 and 11. It was somewhere between 9 and 11 because of when I was in school, because I know I was still in national school at that point, which is like primary school or like elementary school. So that's where I was there. So I was, I was reading some non fiction story, I think it was Inuit culture or something. And it was talking about how kayaks are made because it was talking about like family structures and sort of living accommodations and how travel and hunting and all this kind of stuff worked. And they were talking about kayaks and how they're made with like a frame and then an animal skin was stretched over. And it was talking about the many uses of blubber because that kept coming up about how there was a lack of waste in this type of society. And, and yeah, I was reading this at the time and this grown ass woman kept arguing with me that kayaks and canoes were the same thing. And I'M like, no, they're not. Because I'd been in a kayak and I'd been in a canoe. Like, I'd been in both of them actually, as part of a school trip. So I was like, these are two different things. They're made from different materials, they're different shapes and they're from different regions. They're like, from totally different cultures. Like, they're not even remotely the same. And again, fully grown adult women arguing with a child. And because I wouldn't back down and I wouldn't lie and say that I was wrong, then not only did she get angry with me, but my uncle got angry with me and every adult in the house got angry with me, including my own father. It was only when my mum came home and she had to deal with this and she had to figure out why I was crying in my room and why I was being punished, right, by a bunch of grown people who should fcking know better. And she was like, I'm sorry, what did you do? And she's like, oh, so you, you punished her for being right? And they're like, oh, she was talking back. And it's like, was she talking back at the beginning or. Or did she talk back after you tried to call her a liar or to say that she didn't know what she was talking about? Like, is that what happened? And it's like, yeah, that's what happened. And then she gave my dad an absolute bollocking for being a prick and not standing up for his daughter. Ah, go, Mum. But, yeah, so that was such a. Such a thing. But like, I was like, they're from different places, they're not the same thing. So anyway, canoes are made of wood and they're in these canoes because the water was so shallow. So like, since the earlier attack, like on Maracaibo and on Gibraltar, like, the Spanish had built the San Carlos de la Barra Fortes, which is, you know, a fortress. So that was where they headed. So, like, they had seen the pirates approaching. And so the fortress left only nine men to load and fire. These nine soldiers, right, they fired at the marauders. But when Captain Morgan and his men stormed the fortress, it was completely abandoned, right? So they get fired at on the way in, but when they actually reach it, everybody scalped, like, they're gone, right? Probably because they've dealt with this before and this time they've just gone, no. And off they go. So that's happened and they're like, they've gone. So then they Decide, listen, we're gonna make our way into the town. And so when they reach Maracaibo, it is deserted. Basically, the townsfolk, when they saw the pirates approaching, they just got the heck at a dodge. So they had been warned by, obviously, the guys in the fortress, and they'd all just legged it, taking all their valuables with them. So the pirates, they make themselves comfortable, and then they sent out a group of about a hundred men into the forest to find the town's valuables. And as they're searching, they find 30 people. They bring them back into the town and immediately start torturing them. This torture lasted for three whole weeks. Three weeks of the rack, of beatings, of burnings, right? So much torture. And by the end of the three weeks, information had been spilled and a hundred families had been captured, right? So he manages to get 100 families and then steals their shit. You know what? He's like, my ship sunk. This has happened. I need a win. Like, he just needs that. What is the word for that? He just needs to keep winning. He can't stop himself. I mean, he could have had this big attack, and then his ship sink. And then he's like, I need to attack something. Like, I need to go destroy stuff. And then he's allowing torture. Like, he's the captain. He's probably an admiral for this group, actually. And they're just like, what'll he do? And he's like, let's just torture them if they're not going to give our stuff. Because he is so determined to get his booty. So determined. And this is when, after getting as much as he can from Maracaibo, he sets his sights on Gibraltar. Just like Maracaibo. When the pirates reach Gibraltar, it's also deserted. Every single person, save for one man who was. Well, he appears to have had an intellectual disability. According to the records, his clothes were ragged and he was clearly not a man of means. And they still tortured him for information. They put him on the rack and demanded to know where the treasure was. And after being tortured, he confessed to having treasure. And he brought them to a shack that was. It looked basically abandoned. And in it he had three pieces of eight. Now, clearly they're like, this isn't enough. And they're angry at this point because he's led them to what he thinks is treasure. Like these three pieces of eight. He's like, treasure. Here's treasure. And he gets tortured again. And when he's being tortured, he says that he's the brother of. Of the Governor of Maracaibo, which just makes them angrier. And so they torture him more, they put him on the rack, they break his shoulders, and they burn him alive by putting flaming palm tree leaves on his body this time. These pirates are very torture heavy. They go searching into the forest for the townspeople who fled, and they come across an enslaved man. The pirates promised him gold and his freedom if he showed them where people were hiding. And yeah, he did. Right. I feel like also tortured and enslaved or free, I feel like, like hedging his bets. This did seem like the best option. Like, I'm not mad at this guy. I feel like he was kind of like, damned if he did, damned if he didn't. Like, either way, he was gonna be. He was gonna end up dead. So I feel like considering he was viewed as property by, you know, the Spanish settlement he was in, and these bunch of guys who are just like, you show us where these guys are and you can join our crew and be free. And he's like, you know what? I wouldn't mind being free, actually. And that feels like a good time. So with his help, they find more people who then inform them where more people are hiding. Right? They find two hundred and fifty townspeople hiding in the forest. They continue to torture people in the most barbaric ways. The rack crushed with boulders, burning them. Just lots and lots of horrible stuff. Like at one point, they find a family and they tell the guy that they're just gonna straight up murder and torture his children in front of him if he doesn't show them where more people are. And so, yeah, he does that. Right? This is not a situation where the pirates are the good guys. That being said, nobody here is really that good a guy in this story. So they've been in Gibraltar at this point. I think it's like five weeks. And the citizens of Maracaibo had time to regroup while Morgan's crew plundered and tort. He took prisoners with him as a bargaining chip, which was very smart in this scenario because when he reached Maracaibo, they were informed that three large Spanish ships had arrived at the very small entrance and were waiting for pirates to try and escape. Birmada de Barvolento was under the command of Don Alenco del Campo y Espinoza. Every Spanish speaker. Every Spanish speaker who just heard me say that is like, what is she doing? What are those words coming out her mouth? Does she know what a syllable is? I don't speak Spanish. I think I said this in a previous episode. Sidebar that my friend Sahara, she wrote me a letter and I was reading the first few lines and I was really, really confused. I. I thought I was going insane. But then I realized that she was writing in Spanish. Like, for a second I thought I couldn't read cursive anymore. And then I realized it was in Spanish and that's why I had no idea what was happening. And she did it to fuck with me, because I don't. I don't read Spanish. So, yes, the Armada were under the orders to end piracy in the Caribbean and to and Captain Morgan decided, fuck this. Four game of soldiers and sent one of the Spanish prisoners in a small boat to have a wee chat with these ships. Yeah, not a bad idea. He returns with a letter from the admiral of the Spanish fleet and he says that he's been chasing Morgan's fleet for a while, lost them in the storm and whatnot, but basically says if he surrenders the prisoners, if he surrenders the treasure, then they can just leave without the threat of attack from their big massive ships. Otherwise they're gonna blow them out of the water. Oh, and they'd ensure that they had killed every single last one of them.
- [43:11]
Xero Advertiser
Take control of the numbers and supercharge your small business with Xero. That's Xero. With our easy to use accounting software with automation and reporting features, you'll spend less time on manual tasks and more time understanding how your business is doing. 87% of surveyed US customers agree Xero helps improve financial visibility. Search Xero with an x or visit xero.comacast to start your 30 day free trial. Conditions apply.
- [43:41]
Ryan Reynolds
Hey, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. You know one of the perks about having four kids that you know about is actually getting a direct line to the big man up north. And this year he wants you to know the best gift you can give someone is the gift of Mint Mobile's unlimited wireless for $15 a month. Now you don't even need to wrap it. Give it a try@mintmobile.com switch.
- [44:02]
Mint Mobile Advertiser
Upfront payment of $45 for three month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes if network's busy, taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com.
- [44:18]
Katy Charlewood
Under threat of being blown out of the water by the Spanish Armada, the negotiations last a week just going back and forth. So Captain Morgan asks his men what they want to do, which is very democratic. Like I said, pirate ships, it's floating democracies, right? He Asks them what they want to do. Like, he's the captain, but he needs the crew behind him to do the next part. And his men tell him that they don't want to give up any of their spoils and that they would rather die. And he's like, bet. So Captain Morgan sends another letter back to Espinoza saying he'll release half the prisoners without ransom. The other half were to be ransomed, and if you want it, you gotta pay for it. He also refused to return any of the treasure. So the letter gets sent to Espinosa, who is getting more and more pissed and obviously declines this offer. But it doesn't really matter, because this letter only exists to buy some time, because these pirates, they're outgunned, out manned, outnumbered, out planned. And they decide that this is yet another situation that can be solved with fire. They plan to send out a fire ship that is a ship that's set on fire for anyone who's not in the nautical knoll. Basically, they make a ship extra flammable or extra inflammable, depending on how big a score you want in Scrabble. And they make it look fully manned, so they have logs that are dressed in men's clothing, but really it's only got, like a crew of 12. And the 12 guys, they are on the ship with the logs dressed as people, and they set the ship on fire and abandon ship. So basically, you need the best swimmers to do that job. So they head out with a fireship leading the fleet and the other ships following the fireship. The ship, on fire, collides with the Spanish ships. It hits Don Alonso del Campo y Espinoza's massive gunship, setting it on fire and then causing it to sink. Another of the ships catches fire and sails towards the San Carlos de la Barra fortress, which now is manned by Espinosa's men. And they shoot it, sinking it, because they don't want it taken by the pirates, right? This is that scotched Earth policy. We don't want anybody to have it if we can't have it. So we're gonna burn it to the ground. So the pirates, they. They do take the third Spanish ship and add it to their fleet. And the fortress being manned was a sticky wicket for the men, though. So before they tried, like, the final escape plan, they divvied out all the plunder equally, just in case. So before the fiery ship situation, they did this. The plan was to. To send 10 men ashore in a rowboat, two men rowing, right, and then 10 being brought to the shore. So there's technically 12 fellas in a rowboat, right? So this was spotted by the Spanish manning the fort. So it readied itself for a land attack. A land attack that wasn't coming. They'll sleek it would, I tell you. They'll sneaky dicky. When the boat was bringing the men ashore. No, it wasn't. It just looked like it was. So when the boat is rowing to shore, so you've got 12 men visible sitting up in the boat, two men are rowing and the other 10 are just sitting there, right? That is being sailed over to the land and there for a little while. And then when it rows away, they only see the two men rowing. That's because when the boat rowed away from the shore, the 10 men laid down as not to be seen. And they did this many times, right? They had done this, I think, from. What was it? From, like morning to night or night to morning? They did this, like, over the course of several hours to make it look like they were just bringing more and more men to shore. And so because they thought all these guys were going to attack them from land, the Spaniards had fortified the side of the fortress facing the land, expecting the attack to come from there. And the entire side that faced the sea was free of cannons. So the pirates were able to sail away without receiving more damage. Now, while this is going on, while all of this is happening and they are out away going free, the British and Spanish are communicating, right? Basically, the Spanish are sick of being raided, especially when they're not doing it to British territories, right? If they were both, like, attacking each other's settlements, then, you know, that would be a thing. But they're not both doing it. It's just these British privateers that are doing it and pirates and the buccaneers, because, like, the French are at it as well, like Bouquet, they're all at it, right? So they're saying privateers are the problem, right? And then you've got Modiford here saying that privateers are necessary, but also, I never told them to do that. So this all reaches a boiling point with the attack by Morgan and his fleet. And when Mariana of Austria, the queen regent of Spain, hears about this, she declares war on all the English in the Caribbean. She orders all of her governors to dispossess the English of their ships, islands, places and ports. She even allowed the governors to issue letters of marque against English vessels. So now the Spanish are privateering, too. And Modiford, he is now bricking it because he's the one in Jamaica, he was the one at risk. And he's pleading for permission to attack the Spanish in retaliation. But the Crown did not want to poke the bear because they were trying to negotiate a treaty when Captain Manuel Roberto Pandal attacked a northern part of Jamaica and left a note. This note allegedly challenges Captain Morgan to a battle. I mean, I like that. It's like, come and get me. So Mondeford, he is super freaking out now and makes Henry Morgan commander in chief of all Port Royal ships and authorized any attack on Spanish vessels and ports if necessary. So England, right? It's saying, don't attack the Spanish. And so Modiford says, be as modest as possible when carrying out attacks of war. And obviously Morgan's like, I'll try, but if there's a threat, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. You know what I mean? So off he sails to the Iravache. And, yeah, he's sacking so many Spanish ports, like, at a time when he's been told not to fcking do it, like, do it modestly. And he's like, I'm going to fck with every single one of these places, right? He's raiding and plundering with a force of 1500 men. He speaks to his captains about what to do next, right? They have a war council, and they all agree that they should attack a Spanish city. Remember in the last episode, that thing about Panama? Well, Panama City is not in the Caribbean. It's not in the Caribbean because it's not in the Caribbean side. Like, it's on the Pacific, right? So in order to get to it. And it's. It's a bit of a trek to get there, in fairness. So in order to get to it, Morgan has to sail down the Chagres river with his fleet also, in addition. Furthermore, this river was also guarded by the Chagres Castle. So after the castle, they have to sail, like, 40, 50 miles down this river, then walk when they get closer. But before all of that, they have to attack the island of Providence, which was manned by 300 Spanish soldiers. They besieged the island for two days, and eventually they surrendered. So after this, about somewhere between, like, 400 and 500 men were sent to take Chagres Castle, which they did. But they lost 150 or so men in the attack. And about a week after this, Captain Morgan regrouped with his 1200 men and sailed down the Chagris river halfway. Sailed halfway, and then. And then walked halfway, right? I mean, that's a hell of a trek, man. They would have been Exhausted, which obviously is not the best state to be in to besiege a city. So after they sailed 40, 50 miles and then walk the rest of the way, because it's just not any other option with this terrain. There's just not. So when they land outside Panama City, they are met with a Spanish force of 2,500 men, which is more than double what Morgan had. And these Spaniards, they fire a single shot and then they bolt it like they go. So that's weird, right? And what's weirder is that when they get to into the city, almost every building is burning. The President of Panama had set the city ablaze before fleeing because he didn't want it taken by pirates. So the booty here, it was a small one for all that effort. So then on the way home, it got worse. The fleet got absolutely banjaxed by storms. They ran out of provisions. And in the end, 4/5 of the fleet that left Jamaica died. That being said, when Captain Morgan returned to Jamaica, he was seen as an English hero. Meanwhile, England and Spain had signed a treaty which ended the war. Meaning Captain Morgan's attack on Panama happened during a time of peace. And Spain was pissed, but they didn't want Morgan. They wanted his boss, Thomas Modiford. So he gets taken prisoner, brought back to England and chucked into the Tower of London for three years. Fun fact, when he's released, he just returns to Jamaica. He just goes back. Captain Morgan, too, he is called to England to defend all his plundering, pillaging and marauding on the Spanish. So he gets brought before the King, who's like, but why, though? Like, you did it, but why? You had a letter of mark, you knew the rules. Like, why'd you do it? And Henry Morgan, he's like, I had orders and I had authority, so I just did it like I could. And this level of just, again, massive cojones, right? Just huge. Just. Just the testosterone oozing out of this man. He was just. It's such a audacity. And like, King Charles was like, really into it. Like, he really sort of got it. And here's the thing as well, the stories of Captain Morgan the pirate, the privateer, who's like, defending British territories in the Caribbean. Remember how they said the Spanish were gonna attack Jamaica? Remember how the Spanish attacked Jamaica? Like, after. After this. So because those attacks started happening, it was like, look, he was right. As if he wasn't the fucking trigger, you know? And Morgan. Morgan is just really impressing everybody. And so the King and the court, they're like, oh, you had orders. That's fair enough. And so he's so impressed with this just stuff. He's like, oh, you did really well. And so he knights him like, he knights him like a bachelor of the realm or something. He even contacts him for advice on how to fight with the Dutch, right? He's like, listen, I gotta fight the Dutch, even though I was over there for so long. And now, now we're just at war. So advice, please. And so obviously, he gives it to him Then in 1675, Captain Morgan returns to Jamaica after he is named Lieutenant governor and commander in chief of the island and its forces. At this point, he had three large plantations, and he's leading campaigns against the Jamaican Marines, right? He's, again, he's not a good guy. It's after this that Captain Morgan gets into politics and, like, he's supposed to be ridding the Caribbean of pirates and privateers, but he kind of turns a blind eye to a lot of it and uses Port Royal for that sort of, hey, come over and do your stuff here. Do your trade. We'll take the spices you've stolen or whatever. By the late 1670s, right, the French are becoming an increasing threat in the Caribbean, and Morgan declares martial law in both 1678 and 1680, where he was made a temporary governor. Like, he refortified the port and increased artillery defenses. And he's just, like, preparing for this kind of stuff. And when he's on the assembly of Jamaica, like, he tries to keep things right, but his secretary commits fraud forging his signature on an illegal proclamation establishing the monopoly of the Royal African Company. Yeah, that's. That's the slave trade, guys. That's a slave trade. So two former governors who absolutely hated him after donating a good chunk of money to the Crown, had Captain Morgan's commissions as lieutenant, lieutenant general, and lieutenant governor revoked. Now I had someone email me sidebar to be like, if it's American, it's Lieutenant. If it's British, it's Lieutenant. I know. I was one. And I'm like, you know what? That's fair. That's fair. That's on me. Sometimes my brain doesn't click if it's the same spelling. And I'm like, is it okay? But, yeah. So he's left tenant lieutenant. It just sounds better when you say it with the accent. Now, Morgan, he's got his lieutenant governor and lieutenant General revoked, but he is still on the assembly of Jamaica. But he's. He's not doing great now because he's drinking heavily and the alcohol is a detriment to his health. By 1687, he was ill, very ill, right? The 2nd Duke of Albemarle was the new governor. And he sends his personal physician to check on him, right? Because he's like, something's going on here. I need to make sure this dude's okay. Because he, he doesn't mind, you know, Captain Morgan, the previous governor, as we were, like, we hate this guy. And he's like, he's fine. He's just some old dude. And so he sends his private doctor to go check on him. And Captain Morgan, he's diagnosed with dropsy. So dropsy, if you don't know, is oedema. So basically it's like fluid retention and swelling under the skin. The thing with drop say what edema does is that, like, there's like, swelling and heaviness in the affected areas. So, like, it's typically on, like, arms and legs and feet that you'd notice it. They're puffy, they feel heavy, they look swollen. Your skin becomes, like, tight and shiny and discoloured. You can get, like, dents in it. Sometimes your limbs get ache, your joints get stiff, and it's harder to move. Then with this as well, you have circulatory issues, right? It reduces blood flow and so you've got the flexibility in, like, artery veins in your joints. It's just buggering up your circulation. And then, of course, you're more likely to get infections with this. So you've got, like, skin ulcers can happen. You've got cellulitis, that can happen. It means you're more likely to be wounded because of the way the skin is stretched, right? But there's always, like, edema. There's usually like an underlying, like, thing, whether it's like a kidney problem or liver issues. And if he's drinking the way he's drinking, I'm not surprised those kidney and liver issues, to be honest. But like, edema basically signals an underlying issue, like heart, kidney, liver problems and many, many issues if left untreated. Not that there's a lot that you can do in the 17th century. On 25 August 1688, Henry Morgan died in his sleep at Lawrencefield Estate, Jamaica. The governor ordered a state funeral and Henry Morgan's body was laid out at King's House for those to pay their respects. Here's a wild fact about this. Amnesty was declared so that privateers and pirates could pay their respects without being arrested, right? They were like, listen, if there's a bounty on you. If you're a pirate, you know, whatever, you can still come this day pay your respects to Morgan and you know, without threat of being like arrested or killed, like by, by the soldiers and the governing body. Like, if someone else shoots you, that's a you problem. No, they did that. So he was buried at Palisades Cemetery on Port Royal and there was a 22 gun salute from ships moored in the harbour when he died. Right. When he died, he was a man of means. He had like 5263 pounds as his like personal wealth, which in today's money, I put it through a calculator on the bank of England's inflation calculator, which, which by the way checks how prices in the UK have changed in 1209. And so, yeah, so £5263 in 1688 would in as of October this year, 2025 in today's money would be £1,148,621.70. So he died a millionaire. So that's, that's not that weird. So initially he left his plantations and, and the enslaved people that he owned to his wife, Mary Elizabeth. So when she died because of like his will, they passed to his nephew, which are the children of his brother in law, like, like it's funny when people tell me that they're related to, to Captain Morgan, which is like, kinda because like there's no direct line there. Like there's no direct line to Captain Morgan because he didn't have any children that we know of. Right. But yeah, so effectively his godsons, Charles Bindloss and Henry Archbold, they were going to get like all of his estate and everything as long as they changed their surname to Morgan. And these were the children of his two cousins, right. To his sister, like he gave, what was it, like £60 a year and. Yeah, yeah. So here's a weird thing that happened a few years after his death, like, and I mean four years after his death, an earthquake strikes Port Royal and like two thirds of the town sank into Kingston Harbour, right. Including Palisades Cemetery. So Captain Morgan's grave, that, that fell into the sea. So the entire cemetery, his body, so it goes into the sea and it's never recovered because of course it isn't, because earthquake and the sea and monsters of the ocean. So yeah, that's a weird thing to happen, but that is, that is the end of the story of the pirate and privateer, because you can be both at once. Henry Morgan. Now you Might be thinking to yourself, I don't know if I mentioned it in the last episode. I might have mentioned it in the last episode, but I don't remember if I did. Some of you might be thinking, hey, is she being a bit of a hypocrite? Because I'm calling him Henry Morgan as opposed to Harry Morgan because his name was Harry. So couple things to remember. One, Henry was pronounced Harry, like it was pronounced that way for years. That's why Prince Harry's name is Henry. Like that's his legal name. So that's. That's a thing. Like Henry VIII would have been called Harry viii, but it just was. It was a thing back in the day. Now when he was knighted. So when Henry Morgan, when he was knighted by King Charles, he was knighted as Henry Morgan. And so he was known from that point at least as Henry Morgan, if he wasn't before. So that was a name that he personally used in his lifetime, that he adopted and used. And so as such, like, we can go, that's his name, right? If someone, if you call them a name that they were never cold in their lifetime, that they never wanted, that someone just gave to them because they thought it sounded better, then that's not the same thing. That's not the same thing. And it's not good to accept. But again, here ends the story of Captain Morgan. Actually, now I'm going to look up this rum thing on me second. Okay, I looked it up and apparently flavoured rum because it's a blend of rums with Madagascar and vanilla. Now, no man is an island unless his name is Madagascar. Anyway, can't help myself. So ends the story of Captain Morgan. It's. It's a rum ish. Apparently not a whiskey or a bourbon. Sorry. It's matured in bourbon barrels, but so are many things. Like some things are aged in different barrels anyway. Like I know whiskey that's aged in a cognac barrel. It doesn't make it a cognac. Anyway, I spent a lot of time visiting distilleries because they're usually in historic places and usually have a really interesting history behind them. Even though I don't really drink anymore, it's very rare that I drink. It's like. Anyway, it's that time at the end. Oh goodness. I have a show in Belfast. If you like me and are near Belfast. I am February 1st playing in Belfast. Come see me. I'm amazing. It's the perfect Christmas present to give someone. Or an early Mother's Day gift, or a St. Brigid's Day present. Just go on. Just come see me. I'm very fun. And if I have to tell something depressing, I've got jokes in my boobs now. I say jokes. I have fun, silly facts in my boobs and they come out. It shows the facts, not. Not the boobs. That is a different show. So. So now, of course, we are at recommendation time now for watching. I was a mess last week, I think, when I did not tell you to watch the classic movie, one of the best pirate movies to exist in the last century, a Muppet Treasure Island. I did a show where. Where was it? It wasn't Canada, it was Boston, where. Where whenever I had to tell a really bad part of the story, I had a fun fact about a Muppet Treasure Island. I just. I love it so much. It's. It's so good for. For listening. Now I do have the link for Stay Mad. Go listen to Stay Mad. Stream it. Stream Stay Mad. Come on. Let's support independent artists, people. Do I have a new listening recommend? No. You know what? No. Listen to Stay Mad or I will stay Mad. Okay, I'm. That shows you how much I want it to do well because, like, I don't repeat intentionally. It happens sometimes because I. I consume a lot of the same media over and over again. The link is down below. Stream it now. I've actually had a really fun idea for a video based on that song just because of how much shit I've been getting this week, specifically from men, about pirates. And I was like, oh, my goodness, I should do like a Stay Mad video. Like, sucks to be used, boys. But yes. And for reading, you know what? Screw it, read Treasure island by Robert Louis Stevenson. Will it be as good with Muppets? No, it clearly will not be good without Muppets. And of course I love him. I love him so much. Tim Curry. Tim Curry. Actually, you know what bonus though, because Dick van Dyke reached 100 years old and I think we need to celebrate him because he is amazing and I love him. And you know what? He was an absolute stunner when he was younger, right? Like you even. Even though, like, even in his Diagnosis Murder days. You would though. Ah, that should be a re. Watch sometime. Why not? We're not going to do that now because we are very much focused on our pirates thing. Did Dick Van Dyke ever play a pirate? Anyway, that is your recommendation. And with that, I am going to say adios. Au revoir. Au revoir, my friends. Bye bye.
- [76:20]
Verizon Advertiser
This holiday, Verizon is helping you bundle up incredible gifts and savings. You'll get the latest phone with a new line on MyPlan and a brand new smartwatch and tablet. No trade in needed even on our lowest price plan. That's two gifts for your family and one for you or two for you and one for someone else or three gifts for you and only you. Either way, you save big on three amazing gifts up horizons, all on the best 5G network. Visit Verizon today. Rankings based on rootmetric Truth score report dated 1H 2025. Your results may vary. Service plan required for watch and tablet. Additional terms apply.
- [76:50]
Prolon Advertiser
Ever wonder why so many people regain weight after stopping a GLP? 1? Up to 40% of the weight lost can come from lean muscle. This weakens the body, slows metabolism and makes it easier to put the pounds back on, creating a cycle of dependency. Prolon's five Day Fasting Mimicking Diet offers a drug free way to maintain results and support long term meth metabolic health in just five days. It activates fasting pathways to burn fat, protect muscle and rejuvenate cells, all while letting you enjoy real food. Get 15% off plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe at prolonlife.com start that's prolonlife.com start dashing through the store.
- [77:35]
Katy Charlewood
Dave's looking for a gift, one you can't ignore. But not the socks he picked. I know, I'm putting them back. Hey Dave, here's a tip. Put scratchers on your list.
- [77:44]
Ryan Reynolds
Oh, scratchers.
- [77:45]
Katy Charlewood
Good idea. It's an easy shopping trip. We're glad we could assist. Thanks random singing people. So be like Dave this holiday and give the Gift of Play Scratchers from the California Lottery. A little play can make your day.
- [78:00]
Mint Mobile Advertiser
Please play responsibly. Must be 18 years or older to purchase player claim.