Podcast Summary: Who Is She – Season 2, Episode 4: Ask D Advice Column (Part 2)

Release Date: February 16, 2025
Host: Danielle Walter

Introduction

In the fourth episode of the second season of Who Is She, host Danielle Walter delves into the second part of her "Ask D" advice column. This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for navigating the complexities of relationships, personal growth, and self-awareness in one’s late 20s and early 30s. Danielle addresses a variety of listener questions, sharing her insights, personal experiences, and faith-based perspectives to help listeners thrive in their personal and romantic lives.

1. Navigating Crushes and Gut Feelings

Listener Question: Major crush on the wrong type of guy just because he's the only one around. Help.

Danielle emphasizes the importance of trusting one’s gut feelings when it comes to relationships. She advises listeners to recognize when someone isn't right for them and to redirect their energy elsewhere.

Danielle (10:45): "If you know this person is not right for you, there is no point in spending time or energy or emotions on them. So figure out what you need to do... starve it and focus elsewhere."

Key Takeaway: Listen to your intuition and prioritize your emotional well-being by disengaging from unhealthy attachments.

2. Building Female Friendships as Adults

Listener Question: How do you make female friends as an adult?

While Danielle refers listeners to a dedicated episode titled "How to Make Friends as an Adult," she underscores the significance of cultivating meaningful friendships beyond romantic pursuits.

Danielle (15:30): "I have an entire episode on this... it's called, I believe it's called how to Make Friends as an Adult."

Key Takeaway: Building female friendships requires intentional effort and can significantly enhance one’s support system.

3. Understanding Attraction in Early Dates

Listener Question: Opinion on what point you need to feel attraction to him?

Danielle shares a progressive viewpoint on attraction, suggesting that immediate strong attraction isn't necessary and that it can develop over time based on behaviors and character.

Danielle (22:10): "Attraction can Grow... certain behaviors and actions and who the person is can make them significantly more attractive than just at first glance."

Key Takeaway: Allow attraction to develop naturally through meaningful interactions rather than expecting instant chemistry.

4. Messaging Dynamics in Dating

Listener Question: Opinion on if a man takes a few messages to ask you out or if he does under three to five messages.

Danielle reflects on her evolution in dating preferences, advocating for patience while also recognizing red flags in prolonged, unproductive messaging.

Danielle (28:50): "If a guy is giving me a signal of, like, just sort of a dry response, I'll just won't reply. And then if they're interested, they'll message me again."

Key Takeaway: Balanced messaging frequency can indicate genuine interest; lack thereof may signal disinterest.

5. Clarity on Dating Goals and Intentions

Listener Question: Opinions on if he doesn't have dating goals, wanting children filled out on dating apps.

Danielle critiques the lack of clear intentions on dating platforms, highlighting how ambiguous goals can reflect deeper uncertainties about commitment.

Danielle (36:25): "If a guy says figuring out my dating goals, it's an automatic decline because... I'm not going to waste my time."

Key Takeaway: Seek clarity in dating intentions to ensure compatibility and avoid investing in uncertain relationships.

6. Embracing Vulnerability Online

Listener Question: Can you give me some advice on how to be honest like you about posting vulnerable things?

Danielle discusses the necessity of self-confidence and establishing boundaries to authentically share vulnerability without being overwhelmed by external judgments.

Danielle (43:15): "You need to be so rooted in who you are that the opinions of other people can't overwhelm you."

Key Takeaway: Authentic vulnerability requires self-assurance and selective engagement with online feedback.

7. Favorite Characteristic of God

Listener Question: What is your favorite characteristic of God?

Danielle expresses her appreciation for God's unwavering presence and inherent goodness, intertwining her faith with her personal resilience.

Danielle (51:40): "He's always there... all good things come from God and if it's not a good thing, it didn't come from God."

Key Takeaway: Recognizing the constant and benevolent nature of God provides comfort and strength in personal challenges.

8. Dealing with Emotionally Unavailable Partners

Listener Question: Have you dated any guys who say they're emotionally unavailable?

Drawing from her personal relationship experience, Danielle advises against investing time in emotionally unavailable partners.

Danielle (58:55): "If a man tells you he is not emotionally available... do not invest time or energy and do not think you can change him."

Key Takeaway: Prioritize emotional availability in partners to foster healthy and fulfilling relationships.

9. Moving On from Divine-Oriented Relationships

Listener Question: How to move on from a relationship that you truly believe was ordained by God.

Danielle offers a faith-centric perspective, suggesting that if a relationship ends despite divine endorsement, it likely wasn't meant to be.

Danielle (1:06:30): "If God wanted you to be with this person, it wouldn't be ending."

Key Takeaway: Trust in divine guidance and acknowledge that endings can signify the right path forward.

10. Understanding Why Some Men Want to Be Chased

Listener Question: Why do men want to be chased?

Danielle explains that men who prefer being chased may be dealing with insecurities and that true masculinity often resists being pursued.

Danielle (1:15:20): "A man who's in his true masculine will actually be repelled if you chase him."

Key Takeaway: Recognize that seeking reciprocation aligns with healthier masculine dynamics, whereas seeking to be chased may indicate underlying issues.

11. Preserving Passions in Relationships

Listener Question: Man of your dreams is asking you to give up micro vlogging for New Path. What do you do?

Danielle recounts a personal encounter where a partner’s demand to abandon her passion signaled incompatibility.

Danielle (1:24:10): "A person who asks you to give up what you're passionate about is not your dream man."

Key Takeaway: Maintain personal passions and ensure partners support rather than suppress individual interests.

12. Crafting Effective Dating Profiles

Listener Question: Do you have a guide for how to set up your dating profiles to a newbie?

Although Danielle doesn’t have a formal guide, she shares practical tips for creating appealing and authentic dating profiles.

Danielle (1:31:45): "Your first picture should be smiling with teeth... have a picture smiling with teeth as all of your pictures."

Key Takeaway: Use genuine, smiling photos and specific, authentic descriptions to enhance engagement on dating platforms.

13. Healing from Seeing an Ex with Someone Else

Listener Question: How to make it stop hurting when seeing the person you loved with another girl?

Danielle discusses the healing process, emphasizing time and self-care as essential for moving past emotional pain.

Danielle (1:39:50): "Time will help a lot, a lot more than anything that you could do to try to process this faster or get through the emotions faster."

Key Takeaway: Allow time to heal and avoid actions that reopen emotional wounds, such as stalking exes on social media.

Conclusion

Danielle Walter adeptly addresses a wide range of relational and personal growth questions, blending practical advice with heartfelt personal anecdotes and faith-based insights. Her emphasis on self-awareness, authentic connections, and trusting one's intuition provides listeners with valuable tools to navigate the often tumultuous landscape of modern relationships. As always, Danielle fosters a supportive and reflective environment, encouraging listeners to pursue the lives and relationships they aspire to.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• On Trusting Gut Feelings:
  “If you know this person is not right for you, there is no point in spending time or energy or emotions on them...”
  — Danielle Walter (00:12:30)

• On Attraction Developing Over Time:
  “Attraction can Grow... certain behaviors and actions and who the person is can make them significantly more attractive than just at first glance.”
  — Danielle Walter (00:22:10)

• On Emotional Unavailability:
  “If a man tells you he is not emotionally available... do not invest time or energy and do not think you can change him.”
  — Danielle Walter (00:58:55)

• On Moving On with Faith:
  “If God wanted you to be with this person, it wouldn't be ending.”
  — Danielle Walter (01:06:30)

• On Preserving Personal Passions:
  “A person who asks you to give up what you're passionate about is not your dream man.”
  — Danielle Walter (01:24:10)

This episode of Who Is She offers a wealth of advice for individuals seeking clarity and confidence in their personal and romantic lives. Danielle's blend of personal experience, practical tips, and spiritual wisdom makes this a must-listen for anyone navigating the challenges of relationships in their late 20s and 30s.