Podcast Summary: Who Is She – S2 EP5: tiwik -- College (Things I Wish I Knew)
Host: Danielle Walter
Release Date: May 27, 2025

Introduction

In Season 2, Episode 5 of Who Is She, host Danielle Walter delves deep into the experiences and lessons from her college years, sharing invaluable insights she wishes she knew while navigating that transformative period. Targeting listeners primarily in the age range of 18 to 40, Danielle explores themes of personal growth, dating, and the pivotal decisions that shape one's future.

Personal Updates and Life Transitions

Danielle opens the episode with personal updates, discussing her recent move to San Francisco after owning and customizing a condo in San Jose. She candidly shares the challenges she faced, including a failed apartment lease and the subsequent transition to a better living space, emphasizing gratitude for unexpected blessings.

"This is not for the record what I want it to look like. We've just been waiting on decor... I'm so grateful and I'm so thankful and also to you, because without you watching this right now... I would not be doing this or have this or be here."
[02:30]

Reflections on Dating and Celibate Relationships

Transitioning into the topic of dating, Danielle reveals her practice of celibate dating—a conscious choice to refrain from physical intimacy while still engaging in meaningful relationships. She shares a vulnerable personal story about a recent situation where she compromised her celibate stance, leading to feelings of shame and conviction. Through prayer and counsel, Danielle underscores the importance of honesty and self-forgiveness.

"If you are considering celibate dating or you are yourself celibate and you have moments where you question that... I want you to know that it is okay and we make mistakes."
[15:45]

Structuring a Self-Employed Life

Addressing her audience's queries, Danielle discusses the challenges of self-employment, particularly the lack of daily structure. She narrates her experience of attending a Pilates studio/workspace, which inspired her to brainstorm and plan multiple podcast episodes, highlighting the significance of proactive planning in maintaining productivity.

"The title of this episode is 'Things I Wish I Knew in College.' My audience ranges from, I think, 18 to about 40 or mid-30s."
[25:10]

Main Topic: Things I Wish I Knew in College

Danielle answers a series of questions that younger listeners might have about college life, offering wisdom drawn from her own experiences.

Building Confidence When Feeling Lost

She advises embracing the evolving nature of self-identity during college years, encouraging experimentation with different behaviors and interests to build genuine self-confidence.

"You are still... you've got so many skins left to shed... the building of self trust in order to build that self confidence."
[30:15]

Embracing Uncertainty by 21

Danielle emphasizes that it's perfectly acceptable not to have life fully figured out by the age of 21, reassuring listeners that personal growth continues well beyond college.

"You are going to shed so many skins over the next 10 years... it will be a good thing."
[35:20]

Separating Self-Worth from Grades and Achievements

Highlighting the limitations of grades, Danielle suggests that self-worth should derive from personal values and how one treats others rather than academic performance alone.

"Your self worth should be driven from who you know you are... just trying to be a good person."
[40:05]

Avoiding Comparisons to Others' Timelines

She counsels against comparing one's life progress to peers, noting that individual paths diverge significantly post-college.

"Everything is going to change massively over the next 10 years... how do you stop comparing?"
[45:00]

Handling Self-Doubt When Trying New Things

Danielle encourages embracing vulnerability and stepping out of comfort zones as essential for personal development, advocating for repetitive exposure to new experiences to diminish self-doubt.

"The ability to be vulnerable and try something new even if you're not good at it, that is a skill."
[50:30]

Defining Healthy Relationships in Early 20s

She outlines the characteristics of supportive relationships, emphasizing emotional safety and mutual encouragement without stifling personal growth and exploration.

"The worst thing you can do to yourself is agree to be in a relationship with someone who stifles that."
[55:10]

Spotting Red Flags Early On

Danielle advises paying attention to subtle warning signs in relationships, reinforcing the importance of addressing issues promptly rather than ignoring them.

"If you are seeing red flags early on, that is going to grow."
[60:45]

Maintaining Friendships While Dating

She discusses balancing romantic relationships with friendships, stressing the significance of sustaining social connections to provide emotional support and prevent isolation.

"Keep plans and keep plans with your friends... dating in community."
[65:20]

Healing After College Breakups

Sharing her own experiences, Danielle offers strategies for moving forward after breakups, such as focusing on personal health and rebuilding social networks.

"You are allowed some time to wallow. That's okay. Feel your emotions, but you're not allowed to hibernate."
[70:30]

Differentiating Fake Friends from Forever Friends

She provides insights into identifying genuine friendships versus superficial ones, emphasizing consistency and authenticity as key indicators.

"If someone only really feels accepted by you in certain circumstances... that's a good sign."
[75:00]

Turning Loneliness into Self-Discovery

Encouraging proactive engagement, Danielle suggests using periods of solitude to explore new hobbies and interests, fostering personal growth and resilience.

"Start with 10 to 15 minutes and just think what would be really cool to try... you're going to start looking forward to that time."
[80:15]

Money Management Lessons

Reflecting on financial lessons, she advises prudent money management in college, including the strategic use of credit cards for building credit and understanding the realities of post-college finances.

"Getting a credit card in college is a good idea for your essentials that you know you can pay for... it's normal."
[85:50]

Discovering Your True Passions

Danielle critiques the traditional educational system's rigid approach to career paths, advocating for exploration and creativity beyond one's major to uncover true passions and purposes.

"Your life's purpose may or may not have to do with what you got a degree in. And that's okay."
[90:30]

Lessons from Failures

She shares personal anecdotes about academic failures, emphasizing that setbacks are opportunities for self-discovery and growth rather than reflections of one's worth.

"It's a positive thing. ... It taught me about what I am."
[95:45]

Closing Thoughts

In her concluding remarks, Danielle reiterates the importance of self-exploration and resilience, encouraging listeners to embrace their journeys with optimism and self-compassion.

"Failure is not failure, it's just redirection and everything is going to work out, I promise."
[110:00]

Notable Quotes

• On Building Confidence:
  "You are still... you've got so many skins left to shed... the building of self trust in order to build that self confidence."
  [30:15]

• On Healthy Relationships:
  "The worst thing you can do to yourself is agree to be in a relationship with someone who stifles that."
  [55:10]

• On Embracing Failures:
  "It's a positive thing... It taught me about what I am."
  [95:45]

Conclusion

Danielle's candid reflections and practical advice in this episode offer a comprehensive guide for young adults navigating the complexities of college life and early adulthood. Her emphasis on personal growth, emotional well-being, and authentic relationships provides listeners with the tools to thrive both during and after their college years.

If you enjoyed this summary, consider listening to the full episode for a more in-depth exploration of these topics.