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- [00:00]
Abercrombie Representative
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- [00:31]
YETI Representative
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- [00:59]
Danielle
Hello and welcome to who is she? A podcast sharing the voice I wish I had in my 20s and navigating how to thrive in your 30s. I'm your host, Danielle, and I'm so glad you're here. This is a safe space to talk through all the in between moments, consider different perspectives, and ultimately go for the life we want to live. Get comfortable and let's get started. Test, testing, testing. Hi. Oh my gosh. I feel okay. My. My tentative plan is to release episodes one after another when I actually get going. But right now as I'm filming this, I filmed two podcast episodes when I first moved to San Francisco. Or right after that? Right after that. Like the first month. Ish. I'm on month two now and it's been a minute. This is just really hard for me. So anyway, this is all probably irrelevant. Let's get into it. Let's start with updates. I am doing my consistency challenge with the gym, so trying to get in to the gym every day for 30 days, and that's going really well. I have noticed that I don't really feel bloated ever because my body is constantly moving things through and I'm making slightly better eating choices. So that's great. And honestly, I'm gonna jump back to this, but like, for a while I stuck. I felt stuck creating the content that I was creating around dating. And with this consistency thing, I thought, you know, no one was going to be interested. I thought it was going to totally tank with numbers. Hold on, I need a drink. I thought it was going to totally tank with numbers, but within like, I don't know, three days. No, within, yeah, within like four days. There were about 7,000 of you that wanted to join, so that was pretty cool. It's definitely kept me accountable because had I not shared it with hundreds of thousands of people online, I probably would not have gone every day. And to just clarify a couple things because I've seen some comments, I try to stay out of it, but like there are some things that I do see. The point is not to like get a like crazy workout in every day. The point is to show up at the gym, like literally just get yourself there and then see what happens because and it's already, it's starting to click in my brain. It. I don't know how to describe it other than a feeling of, oh, I'm a person that goes to the gym every day. Like that feeling is the feeling that I wanted to cultivate so that it feels weird if I don't go and just create a healthy habit like that. And there's this weird sense of like accomplishment and pride with it. So even just like last night I went late cuz I was getting a whole bunch of stuff done. I have so much to catch you up on, obviously. Hello. I got a whole bunch done and I was like, I'm still going to make it, but it's going to be a late gym session. Late for me. I used to go in college around like 9, but anyway, I think I got there around 8 or 8:30 and I didn't do like workout. I stretched and did some just functional movement. I did some foam rolling and then I tried to do some push ups at the end and that was not happening. And then I did a sauna and that felt amazing. So gosh, I forget how much I love podcasting until I do it again. So that's that. The other thing that I have gotten done is this room, the kitchen and the bedroom for wallpaper. I'm so thrilled with it. And it's been something that, you know when you have been putting something off for so long and it finally just. You're like, I have to do it. So I came to a crossroads with a couple of different things where I was like, I need to prioritize because I have all these things that need to get done and I do a little bit of each one and we're really not making any movement. And that's also why I'm podcasting today because I was able to Prioritize. So I'm going to announce this on, like, a short form video because not everyone listens to the podcast. But just so you guys, if you haven't heard already by the time this goes live, just to explain the updates holistically, I just got overwhelmed with how much was happening and to give a frame of reference. Like, I lived in my home in San Jose for, like, I don't know, seven or eight years, and I built a community, I built habits, I built a routine. Everything was the same pretty much, unless I had, like, a fun event, which was. I felt grounded enough to do that kind of thing for a long time. And then, you know, we uprooted and got an apartment in San Francisco. I'm trying to, like, do this crazy decor thing. I am like, or was hopeful to go on a lot of dates. I want to make friends, I want to explore the city. I want to create all these new series. I want to understand who I am as a creator. I want to go into an experimentation phase with my content. And all this stuff is, like, so new. And I just got really, really overwhelmed. And simultaneously, I. I'm a big believer in analytics and understanding why you're successful. And we, you and I have gotten my Instagram over a million in the last year, and that happened within a year's time. Like, I had a following before, but, like, when we started to see this kind of growth, it was because I had identified formulas. And what I mean by that is I. I had experimented with my content to find out what things performed and what things don't. And I found three or four things that always performed, and I did them over and over and over again. Now, to clarify, not one of my dating stories is made up, okay? Every single thing is real. So it doesn't mean that I was just, like, making these videos for the sake of making them, which is why it's exhausting. There is, I wouldn't say, like, added pressure from. I don't know how to say this other than there's added pressure to create this thing just for time's sake and just do a normal thing, like, go on a first date. So, like, I'd have to budget out time in order to film and edit and get things live. And it just got to be a lot. And so with that being said, I. I didn't want to be in a creative box and. And I just felt like I was. And that doesn't mean that I'll never post dating content again. I probably will when I'm dating again. But the second update is that I deleted my Hinge, which was the only app that I was using at the time. So I am completely off of dating apps. And the reason I did that was I felt like, I don't want to say like jaded from the dating apps because that's not the case. It's just not the pace that I want. I have come to feel lately that the advantage that you get from the plethora of choices and the how instant everything is with dating apps is outweighed by the deficit of connection and just availability. So in other words, I find way more success when I meet someone in person. And so, and I don't think that that's out of the question, especially where I'm at living in a big city. So I am gonna try just dating in the wild when and if it happens. But all this to say for me, dating has moved from like one of my top priorities to like bottom. If anything. Like if, basically what I'm saying is if something were to happen, if I were to meet someone, sure, I will exchange information, which I think by the time this goes live, you'll know. So I'm just gonna say it here. If I spoil something or if I say something that hasn't been approved yet, whatever, I run the show. Hahaha. I got a landline.
- [09:53]
Starbucks Representative
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- [10:10]
Hilton Representative
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- [10:41]
Danielle
For this purpose, because I, I'm done with the obviously the dating app thing for a while, but also just like the. What's the word for it? Instantaneity. Availability of just being able to text someone. Like, I don't want to be that available. So if a man is interested in me, I'm going to give him my landline phone number and it has a voicemail and he can leave me a message and then I will get back to him. But like, I don't Want you to just be able to, like, text me and then, you know, open that up. Like, I. I'm just taking it old school and we're going to see. And you are obviously going to benefit from this because I'm going to share. I don't know if I'm going to be doing it at the level that I was, but maybe. But that's the update. And I'm feeling really good this last week. With the consistency in getting in the gym and prioritizing and getting things done, I felt finally feel like I'm having movement with things that I need to get rolling, and I feel grounded. Like, for the first time pretty much since I moved here, I was starting to feel it. And I might have mentioned, like, feeling better about being here in the last episode, but, like, it's different than feeling like this is home and I know what I'm doing relatively, and I have movement, you know, so it was kind of strange, like, when I made those decisions, like, when I made the hinge decision, it was like my body was on autopilot. There was not much thinking involved, and there wasn't an incident that happened. And I'll tell you what happened with Philly man in a minute, but I literally just, like, opened it, and I was like, huh, I think I'm done with this. And I just deleted it. It was. Within 30 seconds, it was gone. And I was like, oh. And I had no remorse, no regret. I think part of it, too, is, like, everyone thinks that I'm so active on the apps, and I barely used the dating apps. Like, I would forget about it. I feel like it was. It was like a classic usage of everyone out there of, like, I have a profile and I'll swipe a little bit, and then I might make a match. But then I forget about it for two weeks, and then I go back to it, like, and it's just over and over and over again. So I didn't really have any remorse with it because I was barely using it. Okay. I have AI editing software that takes out silences from the podcast if it picks up me drinking. I'm probably not going to edit it out, so I hope that's okay. All right, updates on Philly Man. Philly man is a wonderful human, wonderful person. After our date where we agreed to. It was our third date, which, by the way, I didn't say on our third date because I, I. There was a lot of information to share, and I just. It wasn't really relevant, but it was a funny thing that happened. He got pooped on by a bird. We were sitting outside at a wine bar, and he literally got pooped on. And it was like, oh, did that just happen? And he was such a good sport about it. Anyway, so our last date, which was a third date, we had the conversation about social media and, like, what do you think about that? Can you handle something like that? And we both agreed, and I. I kind of stressed it because I was like, basically, I'm not gonna change what I'm doing for a partner. And I. I want to clarify this. I'm not expecting to air out dirty laundry on the Internet. That's not what I want to do. And I would never do that. But there is something to be said about the creative process of, like, I think sharing details of, like, going out with someone is completely fine. But let's say I were to get into a relationship or get married. I'm not gonna, like, go on the Internet and, like, talk about all of the current problems me and my husband are facing. That's not what I want to do. And I don't think that he thought that. And we definitely Clarif clarified that. But this is more for, like, the general audience that's watching because everyone has such an opinion about this. Um, using that example, let's say me and my husband in the future go through something that's really difficult, and we're now in a good place and we've gone through that. I think that would be helpful to someone. So it's literally sharing your testimony for someone else who is going through something similar. Why wouldn't you share that? Like, and I don't have, like, a, A, A cap when it comes to, like, actually, I have a very small cap when it comes to vulnerability and the ability to basically share things that I guess people consider very vulnerable. But I'm just like, what does it matter if people know? But anyway, that's a thought process is. I would probably share that for the benefit of the content that could be created for the purpose of helping someone. There's something to be said about this career path, this job, this role, this whatever you want to call it. Some people get angry when I say this is a job. It is how I earn money and support myself. So whatever. But I was thinking about it the other day, and even though things might seem minute or irrelevant or surface level or whatever it is, I'm making way more of an impact doing this than I ever was selling software. And I was thinking about that with the people that look down upon what I do. And how I do it. And I'm not trying to, like, defend myself here. I'm trying to explain why my thought process is the way it is around what I do. I could have stayed at my job and never shared my voice and never done anything like this, never made a video. And I probably could have had a fairly, fairly happy life. But I want to make an impact and I. And this is, to my knowledge, the way that I realistically have and will continue to make an impact on the as many people as I can and affect their lives and hopefully in a positive way. And I don't think entertaining people is bad. Okay, that's one way. But there's also the inspiration. The idea of inspir inspiring someone to live their life or be a little bit bolder or try something new or go on the date or say hi to that person you want to be friends with. I find that very meaningful and impactful. So take reverse engineering that. That's why I do what I do. I think it's so cool that I can compact the art of living and share my experience living and it might land on someone and affect them positively. That's what I get to do. So with that, since my job is my life and my life is my job, and I don't mean that like, like in a grueling way. I mean that in a. Like, I'm sharing aspects of my life, I won't put myself in the position again because I've been in this position, thankfully, before I had this large of an audience because I needed to learn. I needed to learn the hard way and I needed to identify what my boundary is, which is I am not going to have content be approved by a man. I won't do it like that. That would be like you painting something and then asking your partner if it can go in a show. Like, no. And I'm getting all of these, like, glimpses of it's not impossible. Like, I found a video that was. Is kind of on the same strand as Nobody wants this when he takes Nobody Wants us as the show with Kristen Bell. And I don't remember the guy's name, but anyway, she's a podcaster and she is a little bit more like social culture and she talks a little bit more about sex. Actually a lot more about sex because I don't talk about sex because I'm solid. But anyway, kind of the same thing that we're doing here and the. I know this is a storyline and a premise, but I, I believe it to be possible and he takes her face in his hands and he says, you're not too much for me. And I just believe that. I believe. And I've met men who think what I do is awesome. I've met them, and they've expressed it in different ways. I had a guy that I really, really liked, and it didn't work out, unfortunately. And I think he lives in San Francisco. He, first of all, was so busy working that he didn't have time to watch all my content. Hello. Which is a good thing. If a man is obsessing over, like, watching hours of content with. Of you, that's kind of. That's an issue. So he was busy working, but he would mention, like, seeing things here and there, and he would say, like, you're so capable. You're so, like, smart. You're so, like, cut out for this. And that was really cool. And then I had another guy that I went on a date or two with, say, a little bit more creative, emotional side of it. He was like, I think it's really cool that you get to do this and have an impact on people and whatever. So I've. I've. I've met them. They are out there. Okay. Anyway, Philly man, that was where we left off, was the third date. Think about it and really think about it for those reasons, because I'm not gonna change what I'm doing for you and just holding firm in that. And. And I want to be respectful and I want to make sure that you understand to the best of your ability what you would be signing up for. And I didn't hear back from him for, like, I don't. I honestly, I have been so busy that I don't know the time exactly, but like a week to a week and a half somewhere in there, which was fine. I honestly didn't notice because I've been so busy. Honestly, me two years ago, would be so proud of me now for saying that. Anyway, so I didn't hear from him, and I thought, you know, okay, he decided it wasn't for him, totally fine. But then I get a long message from him, and it was a very nice message. And he said, started out with some, like, smaller inside joke things that we had talked about. And then he said, sorry, I haven't reached out. I've been busy. Conference, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And then he said, I did a lot of thinking about what you. What we talked about, and in order to really understand what this is and know, basically before moving forward, I watched some of your content about me. And by this time I'm reading through, I'm like, oh gosh, just seeing at the length of the message. But then he went on to say something like, I have to say, like, I really respect the way that you went about creating that and sharing, you know, the story without like compromising personal details or something. And then like being respectful to me. And then he ended with something like, you should never have to like run your content through someone for approval and just like really supportive. And then I think he said something about like getting together and asking me out again. And when I received that, I was on my way back for a conference in San Jose and so I was not in the right availability and headspace in order to respond to that. So I read it noted in my brain and then I had a three day conference and one thing after the other. And I basically did the same thing that he ended up doing to me, which was it took me like a week, week and a half to respond back. So I don't really remember what I said. I think I said, thank you, really liked your message, would love to get together, blah, blah, blah. And that was about a week ago, so I think, or maybe a few days, I don't know. But I haven't heard back from him, so I don't know. I don't know what the update is. If he were to ask me out again, honestly, if you were to ask me out again within the next two weeks, I'd go out with them. But even if he were to like hit me up next month and just be like, hey, do you want to go out? I'd probably say yes because he's a good guy and we're both just really busy. So I don't know, it's just like I said, it's not a priority for me right now. I, I need to get everything done here. And so what I mean by that is I need to. I'm so excited. I need to get stuff up on the walls, which I'm really excited about. I need to. I'll probably share the interior of the apartment and post it for your guys's feedback on like what I should do. Because there's certain things that are furniture related and just like day. What would you say, like an accessory, like a potted plant would be an example, like things to put in. Because it's kind of like a big room in here and I just want to know what would be good. And it's a very specific, eclectic space. So I need to do that. And then I, I need to figure out a podcast cadence because I want to do this weekly and I think it really is just coming up with a routine. If you're seeing this, I have news and this is obviously way better quality than what I've put out before you guys. Canon sent me a camera and two lenses, so that's really freaking cool. And I think part of the reason the podcast has been hard for me is because I don't feel like I have a rhythm going and I don't feel like I altogether know what I'm doing. And, and I. There's something lately, a lie from the enemy that I'm sending to the pits of hell, which is that what am I going to talk about for 30 minutes to an hour? But I've already done it, so it's really dumb. And here I am just giving you Updates on the 26th minute. Probably be less on Final Cut because we're going to edit out the silences, but you know what I'm saying, like there's just been roadblocks. So decorate the place podcast cadence and those two things go together because this is also like my, my whole house is now my studio. So like I'll film. Get Ready with me is in my room which also has a vanity, and then I'll film a podcast in here and then I'll do lifestyle content around the house. So like all of this is very important for literally my livelihood because the sooner this is done, the more compelling the content will be. That's the way my brain works is like, yes, I. I'm showing all of the in between. But like this needs to be a priority because it's almost like going into a podcast studio that isn't painted or set up yet. You know what I'm saying? So I need to do that. And then the other thing, I might just make this. I might just make this a, an updates episode because we had a lot of catching up to do. I think I'm gonna do that. So the other thing is I have not been the greatest with not making friends. I've been making tons of friends. Keeping up with friends. I am. So if you happen I'm not going. I'm. I don't think I'm as. I'm. Bleh. How do I say this? I'm not so deluded that I think that the people that I'm meeting are watching this long form content. I don't think that that's happening. If that's the case, I am sorry because I am consistently about 40 texts behind. How many do I have right now. 41. I have 41 unanswered texts because I can't sort of like the Philly man. I can't just. Just reply. I have to. There's two people that get that from me, actually three. My manager, Sarah. Hey. Oh. My best friend Shay. Because I can just be mindless. And because sometimes I just won't respond and she'll just text me again. And then my dad. Those are the three people. Other than that, I need mental space, emotional space and like space space to. To be able to like carve an intelligent response to you. So I'm meeting all these people and I have like nailed down the art of making friends as an adult. It is so. So I have it down pat and that I would also be very proud of myself for. Because five years ago I remember thinking, that is such a foreign concept. And if you want to know how I outline it in a full step by step guide on one of my earlier episodes, it's audio only. And I will say someone messaged me and was like, you're breaking your own rule. Because in that I say, like, you need to show up to the same places over and over again and be really thoughtful and like not ask for anything. Like don't ask to exchange information. And then when the time is right, like on your fourth or fifth time seeing them, you can then say something like that. I'm going to say something with love. It is a little bit different for me because if someone. I'm making friends because people are like, Danielle, I like your content. So they already know me. So then I can like skip some steps. But the techniques that I outline in that guide are what I also use to make friends anyway. Really good at making friends, not so good at maintaining them right now because I've been like scatterbrained for the last two months and I don't have. I'm not. I haven't been grounded and I haven't had mental or emotional space to maintain a conversation and make plans and like do all this stuff. I like invited myself to a book club and I've read almost the entire book and I have not responded to the girl who I invited the book myself to the book club for, like, anyway, I'm trying to think if there are any more updates. I'm very excited. I'm going to Disneyland at the end of the month, so that is going to be great. I did buy lots of sparkles. Sparkles for your hair, sparkles for your body. And I bought. I'm going with my best friend. And I bought us some surprises. I don't want to say it on here in case she's listening. I don't think she'll listen. Maybe she will. I don't know. I'll just say it, and then if it spoils it, just pretend you're surprised. I bought us, like, matching fanny packs. And it's funny because she was, like, begging me to do that, and I was like, but I have a specific fanny pack for Disney because it's functional and it's waterproof. But I bought us matching ones. And then we want to, like, get into pin trading, so I bought us, like, a pack of pins. Like 50 pins. They're not Disney branded, but they're like, Disney. Um, and then what else? I bought us shirts and hats. None of this is sponsored. It's all small businesses on Etsy. I. I literally have gotten to the point, like, as an influencer, you can get a bunch of stuff for free. But I, like, with my patience, I'm like, I'll just buy it. So anyway, that's gonna be fun. It'll be a nice getaway. And then we are also going to Universal, which I haven't been to since I was, like, four. So it'll be like a new experience for me. I'm dying to go to Disney World because I have never been. I've never been to Disney World, and I would absolutely just die. I would be one of those people that's like, seven days. I'm gonna take my time, and we're gonna see the whole thing, and I'm gonna. My mind will be blown the whole time. That is a literal dream. So hopefully within the next year, we can say we've done that last updates. Charlie is loving being City Dog. She is thriving here. I was worried about her number one. I was worried she was going to be, like, uncomfortable. She wouldn't like the city. Something bad would happen to her if we're out and about. That's the exact opposite. Everyone loves her here. I'll sit at, like. I'll sit at, like, a cafe to get coffee and breakfast or whatever. And I'm not kidding, like, four or five people will come up and ask to pet her. And she loves it. And I was also worried that she would get stolen from my apartment. Like, I had this fear, but my apartment is super secure, so that's not happening either. So that's. That's. That. I think that's all the updates I have for you. I'm gonna make this its own episode. And then. And then we're gonna do the things I wish I knew in my late 20s as its own episode next time. That was what I thought I was filming. I guess not. I guess I was doing an updates video. So anyway, thanks for watching and or listening and I'll see you in the next one. Bye. This is the part of the podcast where I ask you to follow and leave a five star review. It really helps me out and it'll also notify you when I have a new episode dropping. Share this with your friends that you think it might tell you. Even if you want to screenshot this and tag me on Instagram so then I can repost you, I'd really, really appreciate it. I love you. Bye.
- [32:41]
Phineas and Ferb Cast Member
All right, here we go. New Phineas and Ferb is here.
- [32:45]
Danielle
We're back, baby.
- [32:46]
Phineas and Ferb Cast Member
For 104 more days. I know what we're gonna do. Today of summer vacation. I am ready for summer shenanigans. Let's do it.
- [32:54]
YETI Representative
Oh, yeah.
- [32:55]
Danielle
We're gonna fuzz fiddies and furquats once and for all. Are we gonna do this again?
- [32:59]
Phineas and Ferb Cast Member
New inventions, shenanigans, innators, adventures and songs.
- [33:04]
YETI Representative
Brand new summer vacation.
- [33:06]
Phineas and Ferb Cast Member
New Phineas and Ferb. Starts June 5th on Disney Channel and next day on Disney on disneyplus.disney.com.