Who Smarted? - Episode Summary: "What Was the Colosseum Used For?"

Release Date: March 17, 2025
Host/Creators: Atomic Entertainment / Starglow Media
Episode Focus: Exploring the multifaceted history and usage of the Roman Colosseum, including its construction, events held, and the lives of gladiators.

Introduction to the Colosseum

The episode kicks off with Jerry Kolber, the co-creator and narrator of "Who Smarted?", introducing listeners to the grandeur of the Roman Colosseum. Utilizing a time-traveling app, Jerry transports himself to ancient Rome, where he observes the bustling activities within the iconic amphitheater.

• Jerry Kolber [00:02]:
  "Hey, smarty pants. Trusty narrator here. As you can hear, I'm in a stadium attending a pretty wild sporting event."

Jerry Teases the Colosseum's primary function, sparking curiosity about its real-life events.

Life Inside the Colosseum

Jerry provides a vivid description of the Colosseum's impressive dimensions and structure, emphasizing its status as the largest amphitheater in the world during its time.

• Jerry Kolber [01:18]:
  "Yep, things got pretty hairy inside the Colosseum, which was pretty crazy in and of itself. For one thing, the colosseum is over two football fields long, 500ft wide and 16 stories high. It is the largest amphitheater in the world."

Emperor Domitian makes an appearance, providing historical context and engaging in humorous banter with Jerry.

• Emperor Domitian [04:04]:
  "How dare you insult me, pretending not to know the Emperor. Guards, take him away."

This interaction not only adds humor but also deepens the listener's understanding of Roman social hierarchy and the Emperor's authority.

The Origin of the Colosseum's Name

A significant segment delves into how the Colosseum acquired its name, long after its construction.

• Jerry Kolber [04:59]:
  "To me, the Colosseum wouldn't be called the colosseum for almost 1000 years. Smartypants. How did the Colosseum get its name?"

Emperor Domitian explains that the name derives from the colossal statue of Emperor Nero, originally standing nearby.

• Emperor Domitian [05:20]:
  "Yes. The colossus was a 98 foot bronze statue of the former Emperor Nero, a vain man who loved celebrating himself."

This dialogue highlights the political maneuvers of Domitian's father, Vespasian, in reclaiming and repurposing Nero's legacy.

Engineering Marvels: Construction of the Colosseum

The episode explores the remarkable engineering techniques employed by the Romans to construct the Colosseum swiftly.

• Jerry Kolber [07:53]:
  "He tore down the enormous palace Nero built for himself, drained Nero's man made lake, and built the Coliseum right smack on top of it."

Emperor Domitian reveals the secret behind the rapid construction: the use of giant cranes powered by innovative designs.

• Emperor Domitian [08:18]:
  "My engineers designed a giant crane out of massive tree trunks connected to what looks like a large hamster wheel."

This segment underscores the advanced engineering prowess of ancient Rome and the extensive use of slave labor in monumental projects.

Daily Life and Hierarchy in the Colosseum

Listeners gain insight into the social stratification within the Colosseum, from the Emperor's privileged seating to the relegation of poorer citizens, women, and slaves to the upper tiers.

• Emperor Domitian [06:16]:
  "As Emperor, I have my own special box with the best view in the house. Surrounding me are the Roman senators, and above us, the regular Roman citizens."

This portrayal paints a clear picture of the societal hierarchy and the exclusivity of the upper classes in ancient Rome.

Gladiators: Celebrities of Ancient Rome

The episode delves into the lives of gladiators, their training, and their status as early celebrities.

• Smartacus [10:01]:
  "I am Smartacus. Top ranked gladiator in the world."

Emperor Domitian elaborates on the rigorous training and harsh realities faced by gladiators, highlighting the existence of gladiator schools and the limited paths to becoming one.

• Smartacus [10:53]:
  "Not many people go into the gladiator business voluntarily. It's a rough life spent training, fighting and locked up in a dungeon cell."

The discussion also covers the various types of gladiators, such as the Dymacary, Essendary, and Retiari, each with unique fighting styles and equipment.

• Smartacus [11:25]:
  "There are different kinds of gladiators. You've got your Dymacary, who fight with two swords. Your Essendary, who fight from chariots, which are wheeled carts pulled by horses. And your Retiari, who fight with nets in a trident."

Spectacles and Entertainment: Beyond Gladiatorial Fights

The Colosseum wasn't limited to gladiator battles; it also hosted bestiary events, where wild animals were pitted against humans or other animals for public amusement.

• Emperor Domitian [16:16]:
  "We hold as many wild animal hunts in the Colosseum as we do gladiator battles."

The podcast explains the logistics behind these events, including the use of the Hypogeum—an underground network of cages and elevators designed to introduce animals seamlessly into the arena.

• Jerry Kolber [16:36]:
  "Hey, smarty pants, how do you think the animals get from the hypogeum to the arena? Do they use the stairs, a ramp, or an elevator?"

• Emperor Domitian [17:02]:
  "We've got about 30 elevators under there, each big enough to hold two lions."

A dramatic twist occurs when the Colosseum is flooded to stage a Naumachia, a full-scale mock naval battle, showcasing the Romans' penchant for extravagant spectacles.

• Emperor Domitian [17:49]:
  "A naumachia is a recreation of a famous naval battle. And by recreation, I mean down to the last detail."

Decline of the Colosseum's Spectacles

The episode concludes by addressing the reasons behind the cessation of such grand events in the Colosseum, attributing it to both the rise of Christianity and the prohibitive costs associated with maintaining these elaborate shows.

• Jerry Kolber [18:33]:
  "Why do you think the Romans stopped holding spectacles like this in the Colosseum? Some believe it's because the Roman emperor adopted Christianity and decided all of this violence was wrong. But really, it came down to money."

Conclusion and Closing Remarks

Jerry wraps up the episode by reflecting on the brutal nature of the Colosseum's events and expressing a preference for less violent forms of entertainment in the future.

• Jerry Kolber [19:19]:
  "Actually, it's a little brutal for my tastes. I think I'll stick to baseball in the future."

He also extends gratitude to listeners and contributors, highlighting the collaborative effort behind producing an engaging and educational podcast episode.

Notable Quotes:

• Emperor Domitian [04:04]:
  "...I pretty much run this place."

• Smartacus [11:25]:
  "There are different kinds of gladiators...some have specialties."

• Emperor Domitian [17:02]:
  "This lifts the elevator up to a trapdoor, allowing the animals to appear in the arena like magic."

Key Takeaways:

• The Roman Colosseum was a monumental amphitheater used for gladiatorial combats, animal hunts, and elaborate mock naval battles.
• Its construction was a feat of engineering, completed in eight years with the help of thousands of slaves and innovative machinery.
• Gladiators were both slaves and celebrities, enduring harsh training regimes for public entertainment.
• The Colosseum's name originated from a massive statue of Emperor Nero, and it wasn't called the Colosseum during its initial years.
• The decline of such spectacles was influenced by economic factors and shifting religious and cultural values.

"Who Smarted?" successfully blends humor and historical facts, making complex subjects accessible and entertaining for young audiences and their families. This episode offers a comprehensive look into the multifaceted role of the Colosseum in ancient Rome, ensuring listeners are both educated and entertained.