Love Isn’t Blind: Don’t Fall for “Potential” | Sadie & Christian | Jonathan Pokluda

Summary

WHOA That's Good Podcast

Episode Summary: "Love Isn’t Blind: Don’t Fall for 'Potential'"

Host: Sadie Robertson Huff
Guest(s): Jonathan "JP" (now Jonathan) Pokluda, Christian Huff
Date: February 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Sadie Robertson Huff is joined by her husband, Christian, and pastor/author Jonathan Pokluda (JP). The trio dives deep into pivotal questions about relationships, faith, prayer, church hurt, and personal growth, sourced from listener submissions and JP’s famous Instagram Q&A tradition. Their conversation is honest, practical, often humorous, and rooted in biblical wisdom—aimed at helping listeners navigate love, disappointment, and discernment in real life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Getting to Know JP—Name Change and Faith Habits

• JP shares his decision to return to "Jonathan"
  • He humorously discusses the journey of name identity, inspired by family stories and life transitions.
• Favorite Worship Practices
  • Jonathan talks about morning worship playlists (Shane & Shane’s daily devotional) and the impact of music on spiritual routines.
    • "Anything by Forest, we play in our house nonstop…every single morning" (Jonathan, 06:12)

2. Light-Hearted Banter—Beards, Stage Fails, & Vulnerable Moments

• Beard Battle and Hunting Season
  • Christian shares why guys grow beards during the season: warmth and camouflage.
• Most Awkward Preaching Moment
  • Jonathan recalls falling off stage: "People thought it was an illustration. That was just lack of coordination." (07:40)
  • Forgot to zip up: "That’s like everyone’s worst fear…it happened to me one time." (08:02)

3. Prayer—Is It Okay to Pray for the Little Things?

• Heart of Prayer
  • Jonathan unpacks whether it’s wrong to pray for parking spaces or lost items, emphasizing relationship over formula:
    • "We can ask God for whatever we want, but while we ask him for what we want, we should seek what he wants." (09:05)
• C.S. Lewis on Prayer:
  • "We ask God because he likes it. He desires a relationship with us." (09:55)

4. Wrestling With Pain, Disappointment & God’s Sovereignty

• Why Do Bad Things Happen Even When We Seek God?
  • Jonathan reflects on suffering, referencing his own health crisis (16 days hospitalized):
    • "There has to be a redemption plan so wonderful that even us…looking back would say it was all worth it." (15:04)
    • "If dependence is the goal, weakness is the advantage." (16:39)
• Sadie: Real-Life "Already, Not Yet" Struggles
  • She shares personal stories of supporting friends through both new life and deep loss in a single month, wrestling with celebration and longing.
    • "There’s celebration, but there’s longing and true confusion at times…But then there’s answers and redemption." (17:22)

5. Questions Are Holy—Behind JP’s Instagram Q&A

• Why JP Started the Friday Q&A
  • Born from an unexpected day off after moving to Waco, seeking connection:
    • "Rest would have been a good option, but Instagram just added this new question feature...so every Friday, I answer questions." (21:44)
  • Anonymous questions reveal people’s deepest worries and honest struggles.

6. Church Hurt—How to Respond

• Advice for Those Hurt by Church/Leaders
  • Separate people from the institution; confront biblically, don’t carry unresolved wounds. (22:38)
    • "Your church has never hurt you…it’s people within the church…Scripture tells us how to resolve conflict." (22:38)
  • Matthew 18: Step-by-step confrontation and reconciliation; obedience is your job, outcome is God’s.

7. Confrontation—Importance & Misconceptions

• Study on Confrontation:
  • Most people fear negative responses, but evidence shows confrontation is typically received with gratitude later. (29:40)
    • Sadie: "Only one retaliated in true anger, but it was still worth it because they needed the conversation." (29:58)

8. Lessons from the Bible—Unpreached Insights

• Jonathan’s Story of Peter’s Restoration (John 21)
  • The power of smell-memory, collective shame, and Jesus intentionally replacing negative memories:
    • "Jesus not only forgave Peter but 'replaces' the memory of betrayal with grace." (33:09)
• Sadie: Jesus the human; asking him honest, simple, even "childlike" questions draws us closer in daily life. (34:22)

9. Faith Habits in Messy Seasons—Especially for Moms

• Quiet Times on the Go
  • Jonathan and Sadie encourage parents (especially moms) that "on the go" faith is still precious and valid.
    • "Give yourself a break in this season and just do that as you go." (36:31)
    • Sadie: "My time with the Lord is rich…and it is on the go." (37:47)

10. Discipline vs. Relationship

• When Discipline Becomes an Idol
  • Christian warns that rigid "discipline"—especially applied to spiritual habits—can backfire if it replaces relationship. (41:43)
• Tree Analogy
  • Jonathan: "Big change happens slowly…our relationship with the Lord is like this too." (44:14)
  • Small, faithful deposits over years shape mature, lasting faith.

11. Dating & Relationships—Top Listener Qs

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a. Healthy Boundaries in Dating (47:03)

• "Stay in groups. Every time I counsel someone who crossed boundaries, it started with just the two of them alone." (47:13)
• Avoid alcohol, especially underage. Peer patterns and environment matter.
• Group socialization helps accurately discern character.

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b. JP’s New Matchmaking Service (49:01)

• QualifiedDate.com bridges app convenience and real-life Christian matchmaking. Structured, intentional, and faith-first.
  • "Lots of amazing young women, but a lot of dudes are…not taking initiative. We need to help people meet for healthy marriages." (49:14)

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c. Should I Date Someone Who Says They Believe But Doesn’t Live It Out? (53:06)

• "Be a strong follower of Jesus. Find a strong follower of Jesus." (53:06)
• Don’t be fooled by charm or potential; look for fruit of faith, not just professed beliefs.
• Marriage is about deep partnership—pick someone who will strengthen your faith.

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d. Red Flags vs. Imperfections (57:55)

• "Almost everyone who’s made a bad relationship decision—everyone around them was warning them…but they justified it in their minds." (58:00)
• Listen to wise counsel and friends—don’t isolate.
• Silly quirks are imperfections; sin patterns are red flags.

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e. Pornography and Dating (61:42)

• "If he is regularly sleeping with other women [porn], is it okay you’re dating him? No. Let him get well." (62:04)
• Confession and genuine fight for purity are essential; don’t stay in a relationship with hiding, denial, or ongoing patterns.

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12. JP's Health Update

• Transparent about ongoing neurological issues:
  • "One leg is numb, the other is weak…It’s called Brown-Séquard Syndrome. I'll take your prayers—maybe we’ll get to celebrate a miracle." (64:20)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On asking God ‘why’:

  • Jonathan: "There has to be a redemption plan so wonderful...even in loss, God is going to do something so incredible that we’d say, ‘yeah, it makes sense now.’" (15:04)

• On faith in seasons of weakness:

  • Jonathan: "If dependence is the goal, weakness is the advantage." (16:39)

• On the purpose of marriage:

  • Jonathan: "Nobody, no 22-year-old, knows this is what marriage is…You want someone to go to war with, not a trophy wife." (54:24)

• On confronting friends:

  • Sadie: "It’s such a blessing to have a friend who’ll confront you when you’re doing something you’re not supposed to." (30:42)

• On imperfection and grace:

  • Sadie: "I don’t feel embarrassed in front of Christian, because I really feel like we are one—if it happened to me, it’s happened to you." (56:37)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:47] JP’s intro & banter; beards and family names
• [06:02] Favorite worship songs & habits
• [07:10] JP’s most awkward preaching moments
• [09:05] Is it okay to pray for everyday things?
• [14:02] Wrestling with pain, God’s sovereignty, and suffering
• [20:36] The origins of JP’s Friday Q&A
• [22:38] How to respond to church hurt
• [29:40] The real outcomes of confrontation
• [33:09] Peter’s restoration and Jesus’ kindness
• [36:31] Quiet time for busy/new moms
• [41:43] Discipline, routines, and spiritual growth
• [44:14] Tree analogy for spiritual growth
• [47:03] Healthy boundaries in dating
• [49:01] JP’s matchmaking service—QualifiedDate.com
• [53:06] Should I date someone who only claims faith?
• [57:55] Red flags versus imperfections
• [61:42] Pornography and dating—how to handle it
• [64:20] JP’s health update and closing

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Episode Tone & Style

Warm, down-to-earth, candid, and rooted in Scripture. The hosts and guest model vulnerability and practical wisdom, mixing humor with hard truths.

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Takeaway Lessons

• Let faith shape your “day-to-day” habits, not superstition or performance anxiety.
• In relationships, seek out those who grow your faith and listen when trusted friends voice concern.
• Pursue healing before partnership—unaddressed brokenness brings pain into marriage.
• Life with Christ is a long-term relationship: deep roots, not just pretty moments.
• Honest questions—even the hard ones—draw you closer to God’s heart.

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This episode is a must-listen for anyone grappling with faith, friendship, or finding love that’s rooted in more than just “potential.”

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Thank y' all for having me on. And I love that Willie's discipleship has taken root in your life. I see a little facial hair coming out.

[B]

Spoke. I was pricked to the heart. I said, what should I do? And he said, grow a beard.

[A]

Come on.

[C]

That is. That is dramatic. Listen, before we started this podcast, JP Was giving some bad advice, telling Christian he should grow.

[B]

It was good advice.

[A]

I feel like he should go full blown duck dynasty.

[B]

I don't know if that's possible, but room it.

[A]

The whole.

[B]

What I'm doing now is.

[C]

What do you mean it's not possible?

[B]

I'm saying, like, it's not that full. Like, it's.

[C]

It's. Yours is very full.

[A]

It seems full. I'm just impressed. Thank you, guys. I had no idea.

[B]

Well, here's the thing. It's hunting season. I wanted to grow it out for hunting season. I've never done it before.

[A]

So why do guys do that, though? Is it like. Does it attract the deer and like the.

[C]

Well, you're more.

[B]

You're more hidden.

[C]

So you know how, like, they do the black face paint.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So instead of having to do it all over your face, you just have to do here because you have the.

[B]

Beard and it's just, you know, you.

[A]

Look more like a tree.

[B]

Yes. Well, and you hunt when it's colder. Usually it's colder weather during hunting season, so it kind of helps keep you warm.

[C]

Which what JP just said really proves the whole point. You look more like a tree. That's not. That's not for me. That's.

[A]

Who doesn't want to make out with a tree?

[B]

That's so true.

[C]

There are some tree huggers in the world who might.

[B]

She has not been wanting to make out with me lately.

[C]

I've never been a tree hugger type.

[B]

But I will say I have tried to do this before. But the last time I tried to do this, you said I was on edge too often and made me Google if having beards raises testosterone.

[C]

I literally did. That is amazing.

[B]

And there's no correlation. The facial hair.

[A]

And she's like, shave your beard. You're being mean.

[C]

I did.

[B]

I was like, I literally had to shave because she said I was being. I was being on Ed.

[C]

You weren't like, as funny and goofy. I was like, you're taking yourself too seriously.

[B]

And this time, this is full redemption.

[C]

I know. This time has been redeeming. He has facial hair and he's still funny.

[A]

I didn't even reckon, like, we were in a dark room. In fairness, we were over in the museum and he walks up and I was like, who's this guy?

[C]

I know, it's crazy. Well, okay. We're here for it, babe. Okay, jp, we got a lot of questions sent in whenever we told everybody that you were going to be on the podcast answering questions. And so we'll get to those in just a second. But some of the funnier light hearted.

[B]

Questions, starting with the light hearted question.

[C]

Yes. We got to ease into this thing.

[B]

I have a light hearted question before we start. That is not on here. How often do you get JP Pakluda?

[A]

Do you get that one all the time?

[C]

Yeah, I almost.

[A]

Hey, I'm here.

[B]

I knew you all said that. That's why I said.

[A]

I asked Weston this morning. Weston's my son. I said, hey, what would you think if I just. I'm thinking about, like, sometimes I really sense the Lord wants me to go back To Jonathan and just be Jonathan. So I'm thinking I may make that shift. Okay.

[C]

Hey, if you're going to make that.

[B]

Shift, because I did that for a.

[C]

While, that's a good place to send it.

[B]

I would say JP Pacluda, but I.

[A]

Was like, no, the p. Is this is it. Like that just happened. From here on out, it's Jonathan Pacluda.

[C]

I can encourage you because my dad, you know, his name was Jess until I was about.

[A]

Had no idea.

[C]

Eight or so. Like, and then he started going by Willie.

[A]

Your dad's name was Jess?

[C]

Jesse. Like, my mom's journals are all Jess. She married Jess. My grand. My great grandma still calls him Jess.

[A]

Or no, no.

[C]

So his name, birth given name was Willie Jess Robertson. But he went by Jess since birth. And so everyone knew him as Jess again, like, that's who my mom married.

[A]

And then.

[C]

Yeah, until I was old enough to remember, because I remember writing Jess like on my paper. It was actually at ski school. I remember I was at ski school and it said, what's your father's name? And I put Jess. And then I like slashed it out and put Willie because I not used to the change. And so anyways, yes, he was Jess. And then when he started working for Duck Commander, there was Jace, Jess, Jep, because those are the brothers. And it was so confusing. And people would get them confused. So he said, I'm going by Willy.

[A]

So this. Today's the day. I'm going from Willie, I'm going on Willie. Willie. From here on out, today is the day.

[C]

So I'm saying it's possible people can know you for something your whole life, and then you can just go, you know what? I'm changing this thing. That's good advice. Jonathan Pacluda. All right, easy. What's your favorite worship song right now?

[A]

Oh, that's not easy.

[C]

Oh, shoot.

[A]

Altar. So Tiffany Hudson. Is it called Altar?

[C]

Anything to. I think it is called Altar.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, it's a great song, but.

[A]

And then Elevation worship, they, you know, they have that version of it just is on repeat. Anything by Forest, we play in our house nonstop.

[C]

That's awesome.

[A]

And then kind of hooked on these, like, I know this is old school. People are like, oh, but the Shane and Shane Devo, they do this, like, Devo every morning.

[C]

I listen to that every morning.

[A]

It like, stirs my heart big time.

[C]

Same.

[A]

And so we're big fans of that. Monica plays it for us every single morning. And we just kind of started a day with that.

[C]

Wow, that's awesome. And Shout out to that. If you're not doing the worship initiative. It's for free and it's amazing. And we do it every day as well. And actually today on the way here, I was listening to Shane and Shane music because after the diva then I wanted to listen to old hymns and they sing a lot of them. So I love that. All right, Christian, do you want to throw out a light hearted one from.

[B]

Okay. Most awkward moment you've ever had preaching.

[A]

I felt the stage once. So I. They always. Cuz I like will hang my toes over the edge of the. The stage. I don't know why. Like first thing I do if I'm speaking somewhere is I move the podium back cuz I want to walk in front of it. Like I don't want anything between whoever's there, you know, and. And I. And so I'll hang. I'll step at the very edge of the stage. And I fell off. No, it was tall and. And I was in and I think people thought it was an illustration. And I was like, that was not an illustration. That just was.

[C]

That just happened.

[A]

Lack of coordination. And now I have to climb back up.

[C]

So were you in?

[A]

And then. And I've also like, I have also gone out and this is like everybody's worst fear. And it's happened to me one time as. And I. And it's like, you know, it's so much my worst fear that I check every single time. But I have gone out once with my fly down.

[C]

No. Oh no. How did you figure that out?

[A]

Yeah, well, because I will check. Like I like hold. I'll like grab my belt and just make sure my fly's up and my zippers up and. And it was down. And so then it's like, okay, let's pray everybody close their eyes.

[C]

That's smart.

[A]

And I feel like the Lord okay with it. Like he was like, yeah, that you, you're fine.

[C]

That's really smart. I have this reoccurring dream nightmare that I go up on stage and I like forget everything I'm gonna say. And it's weird. Like I literally dream that often I go up there and I'll be like, I don't have. I don't know what to say. I don't have anything to say. Thank God that has never happened because scripture says he will give you the words. Say open your mouth and he will give you the words. But I don't know, that's just a fear of mine. But I. That, that is something I actually hadn't thought About. I guess guys hope to probably think about that more, though. That's, um. Okay, let's see. Okay. Christian, I feel like this is something for you. Is it wrong that I pray for God to help me find a parking spot or a lost item?

[A]

Right. Like, I think whenever we start to put these layers upon prayers of how do we do this? Like, we can be very superstitious and we can think if I ask a certain way a certain number of times in certain places with certain words in Jesus name, that I can unlock the will of God. That really puts us in the seat of God. And it's superstitious. It's not relationship. And so I want my children to ask me for whatever they want, but when they ask me for what they want, I want them to seek what I want. And so God says, you know, who, if they ask their father for a loaf of bread, is going to receive a stone. And who, if they ask, you know, for a fish there, is going to receive a snake. What I see in the text is that we can ask God for whatever we want, but while we ask him for what we want, we should seek what he wants. And so those, those things happen at the same time. And then Jesus says, you know, we pray like someone who is hosting someone from out of town and, and they don't have any food to, to host them with, which in a culture of hospitality, that was a really big deal. So you're. You're like, you're banging on your neighbor's door trying to get some bread. And so there's this persistence there. And we see that in the text. But I don't think that the persistence is asking. It's like if you ask 137 times, God will answer. Stop at 136. He won't. I don't think that's what's happening there. I believe God is. Is desiring a relationship with us. Like, he wants us to know Him. And you can ask, like, prayer, you can get in all kinds of weird places, like, why do we pray if God knows what he's going to do or if he's going to do what he wants to do, or why would we want to change God's mind if he knows better than us? And I love how C.S. lewis handled this. He said because he likes it. You know, we ask God because he desires a relationship with us and he wants to converse with us and he want us to. To talk to Him. And so I think you can ask him for whatever you want. Just ask him what he Wants. That was so good. Yeah.

[B]

Cuz I saw that question. I was like, it's not wrong to pray to God to help you find a parking spot, but it is wrong if that's the only time you're praying to God.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And if you, and if you're like going to be. If you're not going to trust him in the lack of spots, you know, it's like you, you have to, you have to say, okay. And it's hard in this broken world to continue to trust him in the midst of, of the disappointment.

[C]

You know, it's so cool that you brought up that verse because we about the verse this week because we're walking through a situation where it's like confusing. It's like, God, why would you do that? And Christian was like, it's confusing. And I know God's not the God of confusion, but why is that verse if you ask him for this?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Was it fish? You're not going to get back like asking for. And so it feels like why do you give back something that feels so opposite of what I asked and desired? But I love how you said you have to hold that tension of asking what you want, but also then holding but what do you want? And there's so much to what God wants that just requires us to have faith that like we're not going to understand. And that's hard. If you've been following me for a while now, then you know I'm all about habits that actually fit into real life. And one thing I've been working on is making protein a priority, which has been so, so much easier with protein powder from Taylor Dukes Wellness. We are a pretty dairy limited house right now with me breastfeeding and also honey just doesn't do well with it. So I wanted something clean that still supported my body wellness. And Taylor Duke's wellness protein is that y'. All. It is made from 100% grass fed bone broth. But don't worry, it does not taste like it. It is so good. It's smooth, clean, collagen rich and made with thoughtfully sourced ingredients that I can feel confident using for our whole family. Last night Haven and Honey told Christian that was the best smoothie he ever made. And guess what protein powder had? Taylor Duke's vanilla. And also I put that protein powder in like everything I bake. I put it in the muffins I make the kids love. It's just an easy way to sneak really great things into anything. Our favorite flavor right now is the vanilla because it goes pretty much with everything. What really seals the deal for me though is the mission behind the brand. Taylor Dukes is a functional medicine nurse practitioner and a Christian mom and her whole approach to wellness is intentional, grace filled and pressure free. She's also someone I love following on social media. It's just so refreshing in a world that tells moms to do all the things all the time. She just is a very refreshing voice saying, and here's how you do that. TDW has their best offer right now and you're not going to want to miss this. You can use my link shop.taylordukeswellness.com Whoa. To save 15 off site wide anytime. Plus for the next 48 hours you can also unlock 2 free gifts with any full size protein purchase. That's shop Taylor Dukes Wellness.

[A]

I think we've talked about this before, but you know, I grew up in church and like church school for nine years and so lots of church. My mom was Lutheran, my dad was Catholic, it was Baptist youth group. Lots of different flavors of church. And I have a really high view of God's sovereignty. This is where I like completely align with the Reformed camp. Like I believe God is completely sovereign. He's in control. But I realized that my high view of God's sovereignty was causing me to blame him for a lot of the enemy's work. Work. And we forget that. Second Corinthians, chapter 4, verse 4 says that Satan is the God of this world. The lowercase G God of this world. He has a lot of authority and autonomy here. Job is a case study on this. And so it's hard to understand how that fits in God's sovereignty. But the reality is we're in this middle place between Christmas. I know a couple months ago we celebrated Christmas that God came here to be be with us. And, and he's in the second Christmas. Jesus is coming back and we're in this middle ground that theologians call already not yet where we experience the full brokenness of Genesis 3. What that means is for those who really pursue God with all their hearts, all kinds of terrible things happen to us. And, and it's. And, and you're like, why God? Why? And the only thing that I can come up with is there's gonna be a plan of redemption so good that all of us now this is not. I'm gonna, this is not me just trying to speak away hardships. I have to believe this for myself. As you guys know, I woke up one Wednesday and couldn't walk. You know, it was like, what, like Inexplainable, like, could just woke up normal day, couldn't walk, was in the hospital for 16 days. And in those situations, we were like, why, God? Why there has to be a redemption plan so wonderful that even us would look back and say it was all worth it. And I'm talking in the midst of loss and hurt and cancer and just all of the terrible, horrific things that we experience, that God is going to do something so incredible that we would be like, yeah, it makes sense now. But in the broken world, the brokenness of the world, it doesn't make sense. And I think in that he says, my grace is sufficient. My power is made perfect in your weakness. So we see God's power most perfectly displayed when we're limping, you know, when we're crying, when we're weak. And so I think that's when we, you know, that's when we lean into him. My favorite quote, not in the scriptures, if dependence is the goal, weakness is the advantage. Wow. Like, if what God wants for from us is dependence, then it's. It's our weakness that actually pushes us toward dependence on Him.

[C]

Wow. It's. So this is one of those podcast moments where. And I've said this before, and I always try to be transparent whenever it happens when I'm on a podcast that I'm hosting, but I'm learning as we go, because the words that you're saying or guess in the past, I'm like, no, I really needed this. And this is coming out in February, but we are recording it up until Christmas. And I was thinking about this morning with the whole idea of Advent and waiting and the already and the not yet, because within the past month for Christian and I, we have walked through a whiplash of emotions when it comes to our friends, because we have done four meal trains in a month. Two for friends who've had babies and two for friends who've lost babies. And it's been interesting, but to think of the whole idea of, like, Advent. And right now I'm like, okay, we're celebrating a birthday. We're celebrating what God has already done by sending us into the world and the form of a baby. And, like, we're celebrating that at Christmas. But then we're also, like, deeply longing for the return of a savior who is a risen king who died a horrific death on a cross and then rose again. And so there's so much grief in that, too, and heartache. And you see the evil of the world and the mistreatment and the why and why. Did it have to be that, like, I know, like God, you're intentional in Jesus story. And even in your intentionality and your sovereignness, he still had to endure, like, the worst thing possible. So you wrestle with all that, but then it's like, but then he rose, so there is hope. And now we wait and we long for and we hope for that he's coming back. And like, even in that, the whole story, as you break it down, it kind of speaks to this thing of like, there's celebration, but there's longing and there's like true confusion at times. But then there's like, answers and redemption. And, you know, you have to read the scripture to understand that when he does come back, like the glory and the holiness and the. It will wipe away every tear. It will truly, it will redeem all things, even the worst of the things you're experiencing on earth right now. And I'm like clinging to that. That Shane and Shane song that I was listening to this morning, it's not Shane and Shane's song, but they were singing because he lives. And those words have been like, so crucial to me right now. And then when it talks about, like, him coming back and like standing in victory, like victory over death, like that, just the longing for that and the anticipation for that has never felt so great, you know. And so, yeah, I think one thing that I've realized in my life lately, and really why I even want to answer questions, I'm sure I would love to hear your heart behind why you answered the questions you answered. But I feel like God loves our questions. And recently I've been asking God a lot of questions. And even the hard ones and even the ones I don't necessarily get a direct answer to, even the things that come from the study of it, even the things that come from the conversations or the worship of it, bring me closer to him and help me to see his goodness and his faithfulness in the midst of it. And so questions are so good to be asked. It's so good to long to answer some of these things. And we're going to get to a lot of them today. But also, if we don't answer your question, this is a good time to say, start asking God some questions, because the journey of finding the answers is important in and of itself. But on that note, why did you start doing the Friday Q and A?

[A]

So I moved to Waco. We lived in Dallas. I was a part of a young adult ministry in Dallas, pastored a church for two years in Dallas. The Lord calls us to Waco. And it was like, there's no story behind the story. Everything in Dallas was right and amazing. And, you know, we didn't want to leave, but we sense the Lord calling us to Waco. And I'm gonna. As I'm driving down, I'm gonna delete Instagram, and I'm just gonna go pastor this relatively small church in the country. I'm thinking, like, this is what God wants. I just read a book embracing obscurity, and I was like, this is what God wants for me. And I woke up on my first week on Friday, and I went to the office, and the. The doors of the church were locked, and no one was there. And I was like, where is everybody? And I. And I look in, and there's. And I don't know the alarm code. And I realized, oh, we're closed on Fridays. And so this. This church that I went to be a part of, they were closed on Fridays. No one worked on Fridays. And I was like, what am I going to do on Fridays? This is a new rhythm for me. And rest. You know, this would have been a good option, but I was like, okay, what do I. And Instagram had this new question feature.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And I was like, I'll try that. I was like. So I'm like, hey, it's the Friday Q and A. Friday Q and A. And I put up the question, and then that just became Friday Q and A. And. And so every Friday, I've just answered questions, and it's. I've benefited so much from it because I get to see what everybody's asking.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And so it. It helps me stay close to the hearts of people and. And, like, what they're longing for, because I can just, you know, you can see. And when the questions are anonymous. And so if you can ask a pastor, like, anything, like, anonymous, it's like, whoa, some of them will really make you blush. You're like, wow, I can't believe you asked that. But okay, let's go.

[C]

You answer a lot of those.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of really vulnerable ones.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

[C]

Which I'm grateful for.

[A]

Are y'.

[C]

All.

[B]

Are y' all still closed on Friday?

[A]

Yes. Yeah. So still doing the Friday Q A.

[C]

All right, well, let's get to some of the tougher questions that people have asked. Be interesting coming from a pastor. But someone said, what should I do if I'm hurt by my church or my pastor?

[A]

Church hurt. Such a common. I don't know how common it is, but it's, you know, if if someone's hurt by their church, they. They speak out there. A lot of times they walk with the limp. And I would just say, you know, your church has never hurt you. Like, that's important to know. And it's people within the church, the 501C3, the institution has not hurt you. Maybe it was some elders, maybe it was a pastor, maybe it was someone that worked there, or maybe it was a group of people there. But to take a church of 300 people and to say, I was hurt by all 300 of those people, this is probably not the case. I've never seen it. So it's good to narrow down the church hurt to a person. And then the scripture really calls us to resolve conflict. And so if you've ever seen this, there's a movie, it's called Hurt Locker. And it's about a guy who, you know, disarms bombs. And I always picture this. There. There's like this department store or supermarket or something where somebody goes, bomb. There's a bomb. And you just see these people flooding out of this place as fast as they can. They're. They're running out of this place. And then the music, the really emotional dramatic music starts in the movie and the camera pans and you see this guy, and he's just slowly walking toward that place, and he's decked out, he's covered in his, like, SWAT gear and his helmet and his. His toolbox and whatnot, and he's moving toward the bomb because he's equipped to diffuse the bomb. When you have the Holy Spirit, you. You have what you need, what is necessary to diffuse some of the most challenging conflict.

[C]

Y.

[A]

And so being working for a church for almost two decades now, I. I have mediated billion dollar deals. That's with a B between people who were, you know, in conflict, companies who were in conflict. I've seen, you know, husbands who've had affairs, wives who've had affairs. They're in terrible conflict, facing divorce, trying to fight over possessions. You know, groups of people who hate each other because their dog barked at night or something terrible happened. And so we resolve those conflicts. We're equipped to. The scripture tells us how to. And so what it tells us to do is that if someone hurts us to go and sit down with them, and if they listen, because sometimes people will hear that and say, well, that would never work. Well, if it doesn't work, then you bring somebody with you. This is Matthew 18, 15, 17. So chapter 18, verses 15 17. If they don't listen, which often Happens, they don't listen. You bring somebody else with you. If you're a part of a new church, you may bring, like, your pastor at your new church to your pastor at your old church and say, can you help us? Because what's not. Not what the scripture really doesn't say we should do is, well, I don't like that person. I've been hurt by that person. I'm just going to move on. Unless you can overlook a small offense. It does say to do that. Like, if you're like, oh, no, I'm actually not hurt by them, or that hurt has healed, I can move forward. That's great. But if you're moving on and you're carrying that with you, there's probably a conversation that you need to have. And I want you to know that God would never pointlessly hurt you. And so maybe, maybe you are hurt by a member of the church, but that is not the spirit of God, especially if it was a wrong, like something was done wrong against you. Now, the proverbs does say, faithful are the wounds of a friend, but an enemy multiplies kisses. And so sometimes I will say something to you that you may be hurt by, but I needed to say it to you. And it's like, hey, if you go to a friend, you know, who's your sorority sister, and you're like, like, hey, you. You know, I watched you get drunk the other night. I know that's not who you want to be. And so. And they're like, oh, you're judging me. You're so judgmental. Why would you do that? Like, I. That's, you know, you make Jesus look bad. It's like, hey, those hurt people hurt people. Those are hurtful words. But you are faithful to bring about. You are faithful to wound a friend. And so often I will say this right here, okay? A lot of young people determine obedience based on the preconceived outcome. Meaning they would say, well, I will never talk to my sorority sister about alcohol because, you know, I know that's going to make her not like God. She may not like God, and you may need to talk to her about alcohol. You do not determine obedience by the preconceived outcome. Sometimes God will supernaturally and miraculously work through your faithfulness to bring about healing in ways you could have never imagined. You are responsible for obedience. You're not responsible for the outcome. God's in charge of the outcome. People say, I don't want to talk to my co worker about Jesus because, you know, they'll judge me or they'll think I'm, you know, crazy. And it's like they might and you should.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's okay.

[C]

That's good. That is so good. Okay. If you're in a season of life where you are just exhausted before the day even starts, then same and that is why good sleep is a non negotiable for me. And that is why we are a Helix sleep family. Christian and I took the Helix sleep quiz and got matched with a mattress that's actually perfect for how we sleep. And y', all, the difference is real. I fall asleep so fast, stay asleep longer and wake up feeling like I can actually tackle the day. We love our Helix mattress. We have a Helix Midnight Elite mattress now. We just upgraded and it's so awesome. Helix makes it so easy to get the right mattress for you and they back it up with a risk free trial so you can be so confident that you made the right choice. We even got one for honey which is so great. So we are all in the Helix fam. It's great. If you pain, stiffness, headaches, all the things that come with not getting great sleep, then you need a good mattress and this is the one for you. All Helix mattresses are fiberglass free. They offer several cooling options and you really can't tell the difference on that. And you get 120 night trial which takes the pressure off. So the biggest thing for us is how much better our whole family sleeps. It's a huge impact on all of our daily lives too. Of course it is. Sleep is good for you. So go to helixsleep.com sadie for 27 off site wide. This is an exclusive offer for our listeners of the well let's Go podcast. That's Helix for 27% off site wide. And make sure you enter our show's name after checkout so that they know we sent you there. He let sleep.comSadie I was thinking about, I was just studying this because I'm writing about it in a book but it's about what was the phrasing. Now I can't think of it but I was studying like confrontation and why people are like so afraid of confrontation. And it's this whole study. But one specific actual study that was done showed that we way overestimate how negatively people are going to react by our confrontation. Most people actually receive it as something they're thankful for. They actually said only like one out of I can't remember how many but it was a significant number of the people that they did the study, and they came and they, you know, confronted the person with something they had been doing. Only one, like, retaliated in, like, true anger, but still, like, it was worth it because they needed to have the conversation. And so I thought that was just really good to actually see that, because I can think of times that people have confronted me on things, and it's embarrassing and it's hard and it's all those things. But later you're like, oh, thank you so much for doing that.

[A]

That's a real friend.

[C]

That was a true friend. And, you know, you can trust them. Like, my sister is one of my closest people to me because she's the most honest person. She's, like, brutally honest. And I'm like, I'm so thankful for someone brutally honest in my life because I always know if I need a true answer that I'm going to call her. And so it's such a blessing to give someone, a friend who, you know, will confront you when you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing. And so I love that.

[B]

I'm excited about this question. This is from a girl named Hannah. I'm not going to say her last name.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

She asks for an important lesson. So this is for you, an important lesson that you have learned from the Bible that you have not yet been able to teach in a sermon.

[A]

Okay. Something comes to mind that I'm not sure perfectly matches with the criteria. So let you be the judge after I share this. So In John, chapter 21, this is one of my favorite stories. This is the reinstatement of Peter. And there's a lot of things happening here. And if you've ever heard someone teach this, you probably have heard some of these observations. And so, you know, the whole passage starts with, so Peter, who Jesus found fishing, and he calls him to be a disciple. He says, you know, follow me through those, down his nets. He follows him and he becomes Peter, you know, the disciple, the apostle. And Jesus has died now, and Peter betrayed him, you know, three times. Hey, you were one of. You were one of his followers. No, I wasn't. Yes, you were. No, I wasn't. Yes, you were. And he says, he cussed. He said, I'm telling you I wasn't. And so now in John 21, the whole chapter starts. He's going back to fishing. It says, you know, I'm going to go fishing. But it's actually, I'm going back to fishing. It's a career change. It's like, hey, I'm not good for anything but fishing. So there's a lot of shame in this passage. Yeah. And so Jesus shows up on the shore and he starts a fire. And this fire, it's athrakeia, the only two times we see there's over 300 mentions of fire, Genesis to Revelation, lots of fire in the Bible. There's only two times this fire shows up. It's a cold fire, burning fire. Here's why that's significance is because this is the part that I just recently learned. Smell is the sense that is most tied to memory because it goes straight to your amygdala and your hippocampus. Okay. In a way that touch, taste, hearing those don't. But smell is the most closely tied to memory. So Peter, for the the rest of his life, when he smells a coal burning fire, which in first century, those are everywhere, every time he smells that fire, he's thinking about the time he betrayed Jesus. Like that's the memory. Like he looked at Jesus as they locked eyes and they led Jesus astray to kill him, his best friend, to kill his best friend. So that's what that smell is going to be attached to. Every time he smells a fire, he's like, oh yeah, I did that. I betrayed Jesus. Well, Jesus replaces that memory by creating the same fire, Athraia. It's only two times in the scripture. He sits there on the shore and he reinstates Peter and he calls him back to being his disciple. All of which I knew, but I didn't know the science behind that. Oh, God in the flesh is saying, now the resurrected Lord is saying, hey, I'm going to replace this bad memory with a new memory. And I'm moving you forward. And I just think about like, God is constantly pushing us and moving us toward his purpose for us as we rely on him, as we cling to him, as we move toward him in the loss, in the letdown, in the disappointment, in the discouragement, in those seasons of singleness, those seasons where we feel like we've been forgotten. Those seasons where it feels like God's not there if we cling to him, he is moving us forward. He's moving us to his purpose in our life. So that's what immediately comes to mind.

[C]

That is great. I love that because that's my favorite story. And I've always loved the idea of the fire and the fire, but I. You preached on the fire, but I didn't know that. That is so cool. One thing that's been like speaking to me a lot lately is that Jesus was human. And obviously we know that. But when you really think about that, the gift that is that our God became flesh to. To really understand. Like, I mean, you know, he understands. Like, he gets it. He empathizes with us, Tempted in every way. Tempted every way. Empathizes with us in way a. Our. In our sorrow and our weakness and our. Our joy and all of it. And I had this mirror in kids room and an artist drew like Jesus on the mirror. And I. It's been such a blessing because as I rock her to sleep, I literally am confronted with Jesus's face every night. And it's kind of like helped me pray in a different way because I'm just like, okay, Jesus, here we are. And I'm just asked more questions. And recently I've been asking him these questions because I'm like, okay, you get it. Like, you get it on a real level, on a friend level, because you were human, but yet you were perfect. And so how did you get past this feeling? How did you get past this, this moment when you felt this or that or whatever? I asked him recently, like, how did you get past the feeling of being misunderstood? How did you. How did you handle that? You know, and just these simple questions, not simple. I mean, they're hard to wrestle with, but simple in the sense that we all face them and just like, listening for the response and thinking about things he went through. Because I was thinking about this the other day, like, Jes. I mean, even to give Peter that, like, he is human, so he was human. So, like, he knows what memory is like and how that memory could bring shame. And every time he smells that and like, what it's like to smell and what it's like to taste like. Isn't that crazy to think about? Even we were thinking about how Jesus went through dying on the cross and how horrible that is. But I'm like, you went through probably so many horrible things in your life for 33 years. Like, what was your childhood? You know, like all those things. Just asking him how he got through things, yet did it perfectly has been a really cool shift in my prayer life.

[A]

Yeah, just insert this for like, new mamas, young mamas. I think there's a lot of times where you feel a lot of shame because you're sleep deprived and you're going, you're like, my quiet time's not what it used to be. And what should this look like? And I would just say, you're doing the best you can as you're changing those diapers. Just pray over that baby, you know, and, and I think decorations, like, there's something to just throw scriptures up where you can, you know, put them over the changing table, put them, put scriptures by where you, where you eat or you make a bottle or whatever that is and just read them and reflect upon them. And that may be some of the richest quiet time. You get to the end of your life and you look back and you're like, man, that was a really sweet time with Jesus. But it was Jesus on the go. It wasn't the. The sit down. Okay, I only slept two hours last night, but now I'm going to get up another 30 minutes earlier than I need to so that I can try to check this box by reading a chapter in the scripture. And it's like I would just say, hey, give yourself a break there. I'm a Bible guy. Hear me say this. The Bible's important. But give yourself a break in this season and just do that as you go.

[C]

Somebody needs to hear that 100%. I affirm, recommend, shout out, call out everything he just said. I'm like, if you're a mom, go back and listen to that one more time. Time. My postpartum time, it is not looking like quiet time. There's no quiet time. There's no time to be quiet and sit. Especially with three kids now and you're so sleep depriving. It's so crazy. But also in that, am I sitting and reading the Bible like I have in other seasons and times? Not like I have. But my time with the Lord is rich. And it is. It is on the go. It is when I see that mirror at the end of the day, it is, you know, just the, the prayers with the girls or conversations we even have, or I listen to my devo, you know, on the go, literally in my car on the go sometimes. And maybe if you're really early postpartum, you're not doing your makeup. But for me, whenever I do my makeup, that's kind of my time to like, listen, to worship, or it's like my one little moment to myself. And so, yes, on the go. And Jesus is. I mean, he's. It's so relational. It's 24 7. God is a relational God. It's not just about those certain moments. And there are people you follow on social media and they're like crushing it still at their quiet time in the newborn season. And that is great, but that's not everybody. And that doesn't mean your relationship with God is hindered or worse. So I love That I want to tell you about something powerful and honestly, really beautiful. Preborn partners with clinics all over the country to support women who are facing unplanned pregnancies. These women are scared, unsure, and often they're told that they're out of options. But in the middle of all that darkness they're in is hope. Over 80,000 babies were saved just last year thanks to faithful supporters of preborn. When a mom is in a crisis and she walked into a preborn clinic and sees her baby on an ultrasound, everything changes. When she hears that heartbeat, something incredible happens. That moment doubles her chance of choosing life because it is so much more real. Whenever she sees the image on a screen and hears that baby's heartbeat, it's her baby made in the image of God. I think this is so incredible. I can speak to my own personal experience. So many fears going into that first Ult sound. But when you hear that heartbeat, it's like, wow, this is real. And what I love about preborn is they don't just stop there. It's not just an ultrasound. They surround women with emotional support, counseling, and hope of the gospel. And they meet real needs, like practical needs, diapers, maternity clothes, and even car seats. So they're really walking you into this. They're really helping you in this. And here's the part that really moved me. For just $28, you can help provide one life saving ultra ultrasound. One small gift that can change everything for a mom and her baby. So let's make this year the biggest baby saving year in history. Dial £250 and say the keyword baby. That's £250 using the word baby. Or visit preborn.comSadie Again, that's preborn.comSadie.

[B]

Yeah, I was on this podcast recently and this guy kept. We were talking about discipline and like being disciplined in what you do. And I was, I was truthful. I was like, look, I mean, I'm honestly one of the most disciplined people that I know, but I'm like, but I've also seen in my life that maybe discipline, but also like maybe just more so scheduled. But I was like, discipline for me has almost sometimes been more negative than a positive. Because I was like, because being disciplined is great, but if you almost idolize the discipline, then it actually becomes unfair, fruitful. So for me, whether it's like, like you said, discipline is, is this specific schedule of a thing. It's like, well, the moment I don't do that, then I feel like I have failed. So I was like, I Think being disciplined is, is. Is great. But it's almost like if, if that doesn't come to be, then you've, You've failed. You haven't. You haven't done a good job.

[C]

Always also equal.

[A]

Like, yeah, so like measure ourselves. Yeah.

[B]

I think sometimes we view like obedience equals to discipline in a sense. And it's like, that's not always true. It's like you said, praying on the goats, if I don't have this morning, that looks like the way it's going to be superstitious.

[C]

Like you said, it's not like, oh, I have to do this so that God's proud of me.

[B]

I was trying to speak and give people freedom. Discipline is a great thing, but discipline also can be. Can, can. Can do more harm than good at the same time if, if it's that becomes the idol.

[C]

Yeah. I think about it like this, and I've said this before, but this is helpful to me.

[B]

Me.

[C]

Like, when I think back to my singleness, man, there's all the time in the world to study the word and read books and.

[A]

Yeah, you don't know. You don't realize.

[C]

You don't realize at the time.

[A]

You're like, oh, my goodness.

[C]

But I'm like, whoa. And you know, when I said I was busy at times then I'm like, oh, I didn't really understand what it would be like to be busy with kids. Like, that's just a different thing. I could have find some time then. I really can't right now find time. I'm breastfeeding through the night and, like, waking up early for school and there's like so many things. I'm like, actually, there is no time. But back when I was single, man, I studied so much, I read so many books. I would drive to different pastor's house and ask them questions for hours. And I'm so grateful for the people who opened their doors and let me sit on their rocking chairs to just ask questions and learn about God. So I was super intentional with my time. Okay, now fast forward, what, seven years later, I'm married. I have three kids. I don't have the quiet time I used to. To have. But my relationship with the Lord is so much stronger than it was seven years ago. It's grown. It's beautiful. Like, I love God. He loves me. I know that. I'm confident in all those things. The Word is in my heart. I don't question our relationship just because our time looks different together. And it's the same as me and Christian. When we first got married, went on so many dates and fun trips and this and that and the other. And right now, I mean, we're not going on dates right now because life is crazy. But I love him so much more now than I did seven years ago. And we're so much closer and better friends and deeper trust and have more fun. And so I think that directly goes to show you don't have to necessarily have all of these moments that are romanticized as your quiet time or your day at night. Whenever it's a season that just, you can't squeeze that in. That doesn't necessarily mean the relationship's off.

[A]

You said it's like a tree firmly planted by streams of water.

[C]

Psalm 1.

[A]

And so if you take a picture of a tree and then you come back a week later and you take a picture of the tree, those two pictures are going to look almost identical. But if you take a picture of tree and then you come back five years later or 10 years later and you take a picture of the same tree, you're going to see like, whoa, massive change. And so there's big change happening slowly. Yeah. And you know, this, our relationship with the Lord is like this too is like we just have to make sure we're faced the right direction. And you're making these small deposits that ebb and flow in seasons. It's like I can show you somebody who's newly engaged or maybe even newly married, and they're leaning over the table for two at the restaurant, gazing each other's eyes and just laughing. And you're like, okay, they love each other. But then I can show you an 80 year old couple who's been married for 55 years and one of them is losing their memory or they have to have some sort of medical care or attention. And I said, who loves each other more? You might be tempted. It may look like the newly married couple loves each other more, but it's the feelings, the emotions. What happened with that 80 year old couple is some of those feelings and emotions have evolved to something much deeper with way deeper roots where there's like, hey, we are truly ride or die. Know we're in this for the long haul. Everybody wants that. But they don't necessarily, you know, they, they just, you have to realize there were lots of off ramps they didn't take to get there. Same is true for God. Like as we're in this, on this spiritual journey, there will be just countless off ramps where the enemy's trying to, to take us out or discourage us or cause us to despair. But as you keep moving, you know, being faced the right direction, as you keep holding fast to the truth that you know, then you realize those. That's where those roots go. Even de. Even deeper, even deeper, even deeper. So that you can stand the test of time. You can stand the storms. You're in it to win it.

[C]

It's great.

[B]

It's really good.

[C]

In those times, I've been thinking a lot about Peter saying, like, where else would we go? It's like, where else would we go?

[A]

You alone have the words of eternal.

[C]

Life, so that is something I go back to a lot. Whenever life throws you curveballs and you just want to go the opposite way, why would you do that? God, how could you be faithful? How could you be good? Well, where else would I go? You have eternal life. You are hope you are good in the midst of this. So that's great. Okay. Of course, so many people have dating questions. And so before we get to the end, because our time is starting to wrap, which is crazy because we could truly go on and on and on.

[B]

There are so many more questions.

[C]

We get so many more questions. But let's go. Let's say we have three dating questions. We'll start here. What are some healthy boundaries for dating and college?

[A]

Yeah, really healthy boundaries are just. And don't. Don't be alone. I mean, I'm not. I'm not trying to be a Pharisee here. This is not. I can't. Chapter and verse that. But if you're looking for. You're like, hey, I really want healthy boundaries. Like, stay in groups. I mean, every single time I'm counseling someone who is distraught because they cross lines they didn't want to cross. It's. They were, hey, we were laying down, watching a rom com, you know, it was just the two of us. We went to his apartment. The other healthy boundary is, I would say, avoid alcohol like the plague in college. In dating, I'm not a never, never, ever, ever, you know, drink guy. I am a never, ever, ever drink underage guy. And I would. Not at all. I would just be really wise in dating, like, as a meaning, you're not married. Need. It's just not going to go well for you. So much of ministry is pattern recognition, and I just see these same choices leading to the same outcomes over and over and over and over again. And so if you're like, hey, I don't want relationship trauma. I don't want this to go well. I don't want to make decisions that I'm going to regret. Then I would say, man, stay in groups. Like, college is an amazing time to hang out, out with, with groups of people and make memories and look back on and you're just like, man, this. Those were. We went on that mission trip. We served in this way. We had this church deal. We laughed until we cried. My stomach hurt the next day. I laughed so hard. All of that happens in groups of people. And you can really, you know, you can. You can observe someone well and get to know them well and the way that they interact with other people to know if this is going to be a suitable spouse for me. So that's what I would. That's the easiest, easiest, like boundary.

[C]

That's great. On the note of dating, though, do you have a dating app?

[A]

It's a matchmaking service that I'm a part of.

[B]

Do you really?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, it's like legit. I read about it. It's really cool.

[A]

I just listening over there, in the spirit of, like, in the spirit of ministry is pattern recognition. There's a lot of amazing young women and a lot of dudes that are total boneheads. I know, showing you my bias. But they're just like, not taking initiative. And I was like, man, what is. And I think like the gaming world, the social media world, like, all of this has hurt us. And I see this growing problem and I'm like, okay, if. If I want to see God do a work in our country, where would he start? And I think it's like the, like the family, like before boy meets girl. And like, man, if we can help people, if we can help facilitate healthy marriages, then I think this is the surest way to make an impact on our country. So there were some app developers that I teamed up with. I was like, I don't want another dating app. I don't want this to be Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, you know, even upward. I want to. Or eharmony or even the Christian ones. It's like, I want to see. I want to. Like, what about a matchmaking service? And there wasn't this, like, hybrid of an app and a matchmaking service. And so that's what they created. I get to be a part of it and to be kind of the faith advisor aspect of it. And so it's qualifieddate.com and they just did. Did 100 matches, which is really fun and wow. And it's cool. It's. It's you. You see the, the challenges in the landscape and like, this is something I'm passionate About is healthy relationship starting.

[C]

That's so cool.

[B]

That's really cool.

[C]

Well, we used to watch Married at first Sight and I thought it was actually really cool because there's a lot of success in that show. I follow some of the couples now and they have kids, but it's. I was like, this is so cool because they had people who intentionally got to know all these people and then match them based off of the qualities. And then they had pastors there too, and marriage counselors to help them in their first couple weeks. And like, this is a much better idea than like, obviously like so many other of the dating shows. Christian.

[A]

That's the whole premise of the, of the service.

[C]

I love that. So qualified.

[A]

That's so song of Solomon. 1:4 is like their friends and family praise their love more than wine, more than the party, more than the celebration. It's like everyone came around and said, this makes sense. So qualified date document. It's not a dating app. It's a matchmaking service. And we're trying to and we prioritize the things of faith.

[C]

That is so cool. You know, y' all are gonna be getting a lot of. A lot of people signing up.

[B]

I'm curious to go check it out, but I don't want to click on my phone because I'm happily married.

[C]

Okay, well, we can look at it together.

[A]

I'll just tell you about it. Okay, cool.

[C]

That's so awesome. Starting something new is exciting, but it can also be pretty scary. Before I started low, I had all the what ifs. What if no one listens? What if I fail? What if I do all this and it goes nowhere? And that's why having the right tools matter. And that's where Shopify comes in. Shopify is a commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world. From major names you already know and love to brands you're about to fall in love with. For us, low runs on Shopify. And my team loves how easy it is to make online sales. From managing products to handling orders, everything just works the way you need it to. Shopify gives you tons of amazing templates to choose choose from. So building a beautiful online store to match your brand style is actually easy. Plus, with built in AI tools for marketing and selling, you keep everything in one place so you're not juggling a million platforms. And that iconic purple shop pay button helps turn more cards into actual sales. And hello, online merch and my family's business Duck Commander are both powered by Shopify. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com go to shopify.com Whoa. Again that shopify.com Woe. Okay, is it wrong to date someone who says they believe in God but doesn't live it out?

[A]

Yeah. Jesus said you'll know them by their fruits. Like here's my, my soapbox on this is be a strong follower of Jesus Christ. Find a strong follower of Jesus Christ. Like it really is that simple. Charm is deceitful, beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30. I know you have all these preferences. Like you want them to be tall, short, you know, look a certain, these certain hobbies. Both guys and girls goes both ways. I'm just telling you, you know, I, I just, I just was in the hospital for, for 16 days and you know, be vulnerable. Can I be vulnerable? I don't know. Y' all can edit it out later if you want. But it's like, it's like I'm like I'm in there and, and you know, I like, I haven't had a bowel movement in days. And like, like, and so I go to the bathroom and Monica's in the other room praying for a bowel movement. And I just like I'm bathroom. And I'm thinking like I nailed this. Like lord, you're so. And I did it. I did so many things wrong. But, but your grace has overwhelmed the situation that my amazing wife and, and I walk out of the bathroom and she's like, you know, any luck? And I give her the thumbs up and she falls to her knees and begins to praise God. And I'm like, nobody, no 22 year old knows this is what marriage is.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Like this is what marriage is. Wow. Like you think it's the date and the like, oh, you know, the, and the whatever you think it's that but it really is these moments. And you don't want to the guys that say you don't want a trophy wife, you want someone to go to war with and to the ladies. It's like, I know you want the six figure doctor who's tall, dark and handsome or whatever. I was like, no, you want somebody who's gonna make you love God more because we're gonna die soon and we're gonna be with God forever and ever and ever and ever. And marriage simply becomes this metaphor of how Christ loved the church. Church. And is there marriage in heaven? Like no, other than we're all the church is married to the bridegroom of Jesus Christ. Like, that's. That's the only marriage in heaven is us. The church being married to Christ and marriage is teaching us about that relationship. So that's where you want to get it right. And Hollywood, like, has duped us, man. Like that. Like, we've totally been lied to. And. And people are getting married later, they're getting married less, and marriages aren't lasting. And I just want to raise my hand and say, we've got to do something different and so don't learn what to look for in marriage. From Hollywood, who has the highest divorce rates of anywhere on the planet, say that. And it's like, you're right. Like, arranged marriages. That's the biblical way. Those tend to have the lowest divorce rates. There's certainly all kinds of issues with that in, like, Hinduism and in other places where they're for sure, sure, is. Can be hidden abuse and things of that nature. But the arranged marriage, according to the scripture, is when your friends, families, and the church are saying, hey, this makes sense. And you're not like, oh, but do I like him? You know, And I'm not saying people are like, oh, you don't. So I don't have to like him. I'm like, listen, there's a place for your preferences. There's a place for chemistry. There's a place for physical attraction. It's just not first place.

[C]

Yeah. That's so good. That is so good.

[B]

That was really awesome.

[C]

I love that. I feel like there's something you said that was like, oh. Oh. I was going to say the hospital, because we were in the hospital at the same time, but we were having the opposite problem.

[A]

I forgot.

[C]

And Christian, I was so embarrassed. I was not. But that's the thing. But I wasn't. Like, I should have been so embarrassed, but I wasn't because I felt so loved, truly. And I was like, this should be so much more embarrassing than it is. And I hear friends sometimes, like, people will be talking and they'll be like, oh, my gosh, I did this in front of my husband. I was so embarrassed. Embarrassing. And they would talk about how embarrassed they were and that they didn't talk about it. I'm like, I don't feel that in front of Christian, because it's like, I really feel like we are one in the sense of life. It happened to me. It's happened to you. Like, it's. I don't feel that. And so it was funny because you feel so safe. You Do. And you're saying, like, you're joking, but it's true. But I was like, I literally had to get up a million times and take my little Ivy thing all the way to the bathroom out. He was, like, helping me so much, and I felt so loved. So that was. That was crazy.

[B]

I had to go get you diapers.

[C]

Yep, he did. Mm. That happened. And I'm embarrassed.

[B]

And I loved you more than.

[C]

I wasn't embarrassed in the moment.

[B]

I loved you more than. I'm excited about this next question. We're gonna wrap up soon, but it kind of plays out to the last one we just asked, but it does. How do I know the difference? And this is a dating question. How do I know the difference between red flags and just imperfections? I think sometimes it's like, oh, well, he's. But it's actually. No, it's a red flag.

[C]

It's just a preference.

[B]

Yeah. Like, what do you convince yourself of that's an imperfection, but it's actually a red flag.

[A]

Yeah. I want to be careful how I answer this, because there. There are a few nuanced exceptions to what I'm about to say, but almost everyone that has made a really terrible relationship decision, like, everyone around them was jumping up and down, waving their arms, saying, hey, this is like, he's not good for you. He's not good for you. And they were like. And they justified it in their minds. They're like, well, you know, they just don't understand. And every now and then, you know, people are like, hey, my parents don't like him because he's, like, a Christian, because my. My family. And I'm like, that's different. Yeah, that. So that one very nuanced example is different. But a lot of times it's like, but I love him. And they're like, hey, I just. We see some things. We have concerns. Love is blind. Like, it. It literally is blinding. It's like taking a compass, you know, and you're trying to figure out which way's north, and you put a magnet beside it. Once you really have strong feelings for someone, you will make all kinds of compromises. So there's about 16 proverbs that say, essentially, in summary, wisdom comes from the counsel of many. Okay. You know, make. Make plans with many advisors. Plans with many advisors. They succeed. But when we operate in isolation, we bring destruction into our lives. And so what does it look like to live in community, to. To do life with if I'm a female, to do life with other females if I'M a male to do life with other males. And then when I like someone of the opposite sex to act, ask them, hey, what. What do you get? What do you guys see that I may not see? Like, is this a good idea? And nobody's perfect, right? And so if you're. If your imperfections are. If your imperfections are. You know, he scrapes the toast or he takes too long to order his food, he's like, that's not sin. Like, okay. Like, get over it.

[C]

Like, that Smacks.

[A]

That's okay. Smacks. Oh, man. Mouth noises.

[B]

He got onto me that when we were together. I told you. I was slurping on my.

[C]

Was.

[A]

Like. He was. I was. He was riding in the car. I go, bro, what you doing over there, man?

[B]

I can't breathe.

[A]

Like, that's what he tried to tell me.

[C]

You know what, though?

[A]

He's like. He was like, I can't. I can't breathe.

[B]

My whole childhood, I was chastised on parents. It's going to take a lucky girl.

[A]

To deal with you.

[C]

Smack. I'm the lucky girl. Well, I had empathy for you because Bella knew him before I did. And Bella told me one time, he's like, it's so sad. Like, when we go to dinner with Christian, he's, like, embarrassed by how he eats because he can't breathe very well while he's eating, so he eats later. And so when we went on our first date and he didn't.

[A]

I'm sad.

[C]

No, I know. No, but this is so sweet, because when we got on our first date, he did not. Not eat. He was eating and he was smacking. But I was like, I'm so thankful he feels comfortable to eat in front of me. So I've always had empathy. But it's so funny.

[B]

You almost dumped me that night.

[C]

When he told me that you said that, I was like.

[A]

I was like, what is going on?

[C]

He's got a good friend. That's the honest friend we were talking about.

[B]

Oh, that was how I started. I was slurping. And you asked me. You said. You said, do you have good friends? And I was like, yeah, man, I have awesome friends. I was like, a deeper question. And then you were like, you're slurping really loud.

[A]

You got any good friends that are telling you that whatever you're doing over there on that drink is, like, not.

[C]

Okay, man, I'm a good friend because I still bring it up, even though I do empathize with you. Lastly, jp, a lot of people ask this, and, of course I want we.

[A]

Ask this, but say red flag are sin. That's a red flag. So, like, when. When's the sin pattern? Like on Friday, Q and A legit. They'll be like, hey, he's a really strong Christian, but he does crystal meth. I'm like, he's not a really strong Christian. Okay, like, stop. You know, like, he smokes a lot of weed, but he. But we go to church. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, so it's just like, if it's a sin, like a sin pattern, that's a red flag.

[C]

Okay, Actually, I know we're out of time, but we're gonna keep going because I have to ask this because one of the biggest questions you do get asked is about every week, and I just have to bring it up. A lot of people say. I've seen a lot of people ask you if they struggle with porn, is it okay to still be in relationship? What does that look like? And obviously, it's different if you're married or if you're dating, but can you speak to that for a minute?

[A]

Yeah. Okay. So when you talk about struggling with porn, you know, Jesus says in Matthew 5, you look. Look at someone lustfully, you've already committed adultery. What you're really saying, like, you just have to reframe it in the way that Jesus would. Is like, if. If he is regularly sleeping with other women, is it okay that I'm dating him? And we would say no. And. And it feels really cruel, but I would say, man, let him get well. Like, as someone who has struggled with porn, like, I've been completely enslaved to it. And. And when I would. When I became a Christian, I didn't even know it was wrong. You know, I didn't. I thought, hey, this is just what you do. And. And. And so it's like, you want to let him get well. Now, this is different than, like, a, a, a, A He. He. That's not. Doesn't mark his life. But in a weak moment, you know, when something bad happened, he coped or he looked at. He saw it. Like, it's like, that's okay. If he has guys in his life he's confessed it to. They. They're praying over him like, he's ma. He's wa. With. That is very different than okay. This is a weekly occurrence in his life. Weekly occurrence in his life. That's. And I know it goes both ways. One in four viewers of pornography are female. So I know it's a struggle for both male Men and women, I would say, if that's where you're at, you want to go through a recovery ministry, Love Jesus so much that you say, I don't care who knows. I want to get well and pursue healing. A relationship is really going to slow down the healing. That's not loving. It's not loving to slow down someone's healing. Say, hey, you get well, let's pursue Christ for a season and we'll see what God's up to. And you may be one of those things you look back on. You're like, man, I'm so glad I did that. But, yeah, would not be in a relationship if you are regularly viewing, seeking out pornography. That's not healthy.

[C]

Yeah, thank you for bringing that down. And then lastly, a lot of people asked, how is your health? Because you've shared a little bit about being in the hospital, hospital for 16 days and waking up and experiencing what you're experiencing. But give us the update.

[A]

Yeah, pray for your friend. You know, I can function normally for the most part. I can walk and whatnot. One leg is numb. Like, it has a weird temperature sensation. Anything that if this leg gets hot, it feels cold, and if it gets cold, it feels painful. So bizarre. And then this other leg is weak. And so that's a really nuanced diagnosis called Brown Sicard Syndrome syndrome. And it. It typically is not healed quickly. And so this is something that maybe I'll have for the rest of my life. I don't know. But whoever's listening, I'll take your prayers right now and maybe we'll get to celebrate a miracle. And I certainly believe God can. And. And if he hasn't, I'm trying to figure out what he wants to teach and show me in that.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Thanks for asking.

[C]

Well, absolutely. Definitely. Everyone be praying for JP and jp. Thank you. Truly. Thank you so much. You are a blessing to this generation this time in history. I really mean that. And so thank you for this man.

[A]

Likewise to both of you. I love you guys. Thanks for having me on.