Addressing the Lies & Backlash (w/ Ginger Minj)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode: "Addressing the Lies & Backlash" (w/ Ginger Minj)
Date: January 2, 2026
Host: Nicole Byer
Guest: Ginger Minj

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Main Theme

This episode dives deep into the challenges and joys of living publicly, focusing on Ginger Minj’s journey through fame, body transformation, online criticism, relationships (including polyamory), mental health, and creative fulfillment. Nicole and Ginger blend humor, candor, and vulnerability while confronting internet backlash, personal change, and what it means to find—and keep—love in queer and drag communities.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Navigating Fame, Lies, and Backlash

• Ginger's experience with rumors and online negativity:

  • Ginger discusses post-All Stars 10 backlash, rumors about her Drag Race win, and internet discourse dissecting her weight and private life.
  • She's bemused—and somewhat amused—by the hysteria:

    “Oh my God, like, everybody's talking about me. Like bullshit that I’m not even a part of is so funny.” (00:50)

  • The public criticism shifted from her win to her body, and then to falsehoods spread by other queens. She calls out how the internet latches onto manufactured drama:

    "Once they realized their negativity about me winning wasn't affecting me, then it turned into, well, Bob the Drag Queen went on her podcast and said that you lied about this...and then, oh, well, this girl said that Ginger lied about this thing..." (00:07 / 42:32)

• Mental health under scrutiny:

  • Ginger describes the overwhelming, often laughable, nature of internet rumors but draws a line at body shaming and the toll public commentary can take.

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Drag Race Experiences & Creative Life

• Multiple stints on Drag Race:

  • Ginger recounts competing on Drag Race four times and the evolution of the show’s production (Logo, VH1, MTV, Paramount+), as well as the shift in contestant relationships with the bracket system used in All Stars 10.
  • She lovingly remembers old seasons, especially season five:

    “Season five, I think, is like top tier Drag Race. You can never beat it.” (07:03)

• Origin of Drag Career:

  • Ginger came into drag through theater, initially taking a drag role to avoid on-stage nudity.

    “I was auditioning for this play…They wanted eight men willing to go completely naked or two drag queens. And I was like, I'll do the drag part.” (08:46)

  • Jujubee pushed her to audition for Drag Race, and Ginger hilariously recounts her disastrous audition tape (curtains falling, pool chairs flying), which impressed RuPaul for Ginger’s ability to keep performing through chaos:

    “The whole world is falling down around you, but you kept going, and that's a star.” (13:24)

• Live shows & theater:

  • Ginger discusses her love for live singing, writing and starring in the Hocus Pocus Live tour, and the joy (and chaos) of creative collaboration with queens like Jujubee and Sapphira.

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Body Transformation & Public Critique

• Dramatic weight loss and the health journey:
  • Ginger lost over 200 pounds after a health scare (COVID, pneumonia, hospitalization), spurred on by a call to return to All Stars and a promise to reclaim her health. (32:01)
  • The process involved medication, medical supervision (Zepbound, not Ozempic), and intensive nutrition changes.
  • She addresses online accusations and body-policing, the complexity of fatness and queerness, and shifting identity:

    “I never set out to be skinny… I have had issues with my weight my entire life.” (35:24)

  • The online scrutiny included people criticizing both her size and her weight loss, often under the guise of concern:

    “Somebody comments on there: ‘You scare me now with the way you look, please get fat again.’” (34:07)

  • Despite “500 comments on Reddit about my body,” Ginger asserts her right to control her own narrative and body. (45:04)

    “I know that I deserved it. I was there...I could have deserved it several other times, and I know that there were other girls who could have deserved it this time, but I don’t think that that makes me any less deserving.” (00:07 / 42:32)

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Love, Relationships & Polyamory

• Meeting her husband and adding a third partner:

  • Ginger met her husband CJ on Growlr (a dating app for bears), and they bonded over a mutual love of theme parks. Their first dates were low-pressure, “theme park buddy” adventures, allowing an honest friendship to lead to romance.
  • They married during a surprise, drag-themed ceremony at DragCon, officiated by Michelle Visage. (14:40)
  • Their relationship later expanded:

    “We have a boyfriend named Michael. We’re the three little bears—Mama, Papa, and Baby Bear.” (57:03)

  • The discussion addresses misconceptions about polyamory’s focus on sex, navigating dates as a “throuple,” and balancing family (they live with Ginger’s mother, sister, nephew, and many pets).

• Romance and self-acceptance:

  • Ginger credits CJ with helping her finally love herself:

    “He taught me how to love myself. Honestly, I hated myself for a very long time.” (55:53)

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Neurodiversity and Sobriety

• ADHD and autism diagnosis:

  • Ginger discloses her diagnosis during a Drag Race psych evaluation, noting relief and clarity in understanding her own communication style and sensitivities.
  • Nicole and Ginger share stories of neurodiversity, with Nicole reflecting on her own ADHD.
  • Ginger emphasizes self-acceptance and coping mechanisms:

    “I think it’s helped me all around. Like, even having this conversation with you right now, I feel more at ease than I probably ever have before.” (66:16)

• Sober drag:

  • Ginger has been sober for three years and describes the difference it makes, especially when returning to compete on Drag Race. (68:25)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On drama & backlash:

  “There’s only press, so why be pressed?” – Ginger Minj (01:13 / 44:36)

• On drag as resilience:

  “My whole world is always falling down around me, but I keep going.” – Ginger Minj (14:24)

• On internet trolls:

  “If you just wait it out, you would nap. But they’re all gone, so now you just walk on everything.” – Ginger, on rain at theme parks and tourists (21:23)

• On body and health:

  “I do believe bigger people can be healthy. I just was not one of them.” – Nicole (40:18)

• On online “concern”:

  “No, you’re not [worried]. You absolutely are not. You just want to be shady and mean.” – Nicole (46:50)

• On self-love:

  “You’re beautiful, like, just look at yourself… He [CJ] would always come up behind me and, like, just hold my face to the mirror.” – Ginger (56:10)

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Important Episode Timestamps

• 00:07–01:16 — Ginger recounts All Stars 10 & backlash
• 04:17 — Ginger discusses her 200 lb. weight loss
• 08:43–14:24 — Discovery of drag, career origin, and the RuPaul audition story
• 21:07–22:22 — Meeting and falling for her partner
• 32:03 — Detailed discussion of health crisis and weight loss
• 34:07–46:00 — Navigating body comments, shaming, medical journey
• 55:53–57:03 — Self-acceptance and relationship dynamics
• 63:39–66:16 — Polyamory logistics, autism/ADHD diagnosis
• 70:00–73:13 — Advice for single people & coping with public scrutiny

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Episode Tone and Language

• Warm, witty, and deeply honest, with both Ginger and Nicole mixing self-deprecating humor and vulnerability.
• Frequent asides, running jokes, and moments of deliberate silliness, often using frank language about sex and bodies.

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Final Thoughts & Promotion

• Ginger promotes her memoir Southern Fried Sass and offers support to fans on body transformation journeys.
• Announces her upcoming appearance in "Stop That Train" (in theaters May 29), and the impending return of her hit show Hocus Pocus Live.
• Encourages listeners: Don’t force love; be open to life’s unexpected joys.

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This episode balances comedy, real talk about mental and physical health, and frank discussions of queer relationships and community. It’s a must-listen (or read!) for fans of Drag Race, body-positivity, and anyone navigating public (or private) reinvention.

Transcript

[Nicole Byer]

Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description.

[Ginger Minj]

This is a headgum podcast. I know that I deserved it. I know that I deserved it. I was there. But once they realized their negativity about me winning wasn't affecting me, then it turned into, well, Bob the drag queen went on her podcast and said that you lied about this. I'm like, that's news to me, because I'm pulling up my. My messages with Bob right here. Like, none of this shit is on here. And then, oh, well, this girl said that. She said that Ginger lied about this thing. And I'm like, okay, so this is all, like, overwhelming, but in, like, a really funny way, because you're like, girl, what the hell is even going on?

[Nicole Byer]

Just let me enjoy it. Just let the winner enjoy it.

[Ginger Minj]

But I wasn't even, like. Like, putting stock into it. It was making me laugh because I was like, oh, my God, like, everybody's talking about me. Like, bullshit that I'm not even a part of is so funny. And then all the Miss Mojo videos were suddenly, like, even if the video wasn't about me, I was the screen grab.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Ginger Minj]

So I was like, okay, well, at least I'm popular. At least I can't hear about me.

[Nicole Byer]

At least. What is it? There's no bad press. There's only.

[Ginger Minj]

There's only press, so why be press?

[Nicole Byer]

Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell. Ooh, baby. Welcome to another episode of why Won't yout Date Me? A podcast where me, Nicole Byer, was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come on a keychain and call it a labubu. My guest today is a drag superstar and winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars Season 10. She starred in, wrote, and directed the Hocus Pocus Live tour, which I saw, and I had a nice time. This year, she stars in the first ever theatrical Drag Race Universe movie. I'm so excited. I've wanted to interview you for a very long time. It's Gingermin. Hi.

[Ginger Minj]

I'm excited to be here.

[Nicole Byer]

I was saying before we started recording, you look like a cuddly teddy bear.

[Ginger Minj]

Thank you.

[Nicole Byer]

And I know this about you. You like gummy bears.

[Ginger Minj]

I do like gummy bears. They do not like me. Oh, no. They. Because I used to. Like, I've been sober for three years, but I used to drink a lot. And then the only thing in my Makeup bag would be like bags of gummy bears that people would bring me, so I would just sit there and eat them and do those stupid videos. And I had to have so much dental work because of it. Yeah. I would just, like, pull fillings out or pull a crown out. I've lost many crowns. So now that I've gotten my teeth fixed, I had to make a promise to my dentist that I would not do that again.

[Nicole Byer]

That's devastating to me. That's devastating where you just can't have what you want to have. Because I went to the dentist today and I cried. I cry every time because the sounds sound awful. And also, I had my wisdom teeth removed, and I. They didn't put me under, so I, like. I didn't feel it because I numbed it, but, like, I heard the, like, dislodging of it.

[Ginger Minj]

That's the worst part. That's like, when you go in and get filler, too. Like, everybody's like, My sister was asking me after I got some. She's like, does it hurt? I was like, it doesn't feel good, but. But it's like the crackling sound that you.

[Nicole Byer]

I've never gotten filler. You get it.

[Ginger Minj]

You don't need it.

[Nicole Byer]

It's in you.

[Ginger Minj]

It crackles like. Like. Like you're caulking a bathtub, basically.

[Nicole Byer]

I snap, crackle, pop.

[Ginger Minj]

Yes. But I'm addicted to it.

[Nicole Byer]

What do you have? What? What?

[Ginger Minj]

What do I have? I've got cheeks. I've got my temples, the bridge of my nose. I have chin.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Ginger Minj]

And lips.

[Nicole Byer]

And it just plumps it. Yeah. It's so funny. I don't. I simply. I know that filler's a thing. I know it changes your face, but I don't know exactly what it does.

[Ginger Minj]

To be honest. I don't know exactly what it does either. It's basically like, what it was described to me as is. It's basically like joint fluid. Oh. So they just, like. It's super safe, and they inject it into your face when you need a little, like. Well, I lost £200 this year.

[Nicole Byer]

Congratulations.

[Ginger Minj]

Thank you. Which I'm happy to say is the only thing I've lost this year. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Congrats on All Stars.

[Ginger Minj]

Thank you.

[Nicole Byer]

This was your.

[Ginger Minj]

It was my fourth time. Fourth time.

[Nicole Byer]

Time's a job.

[Ginger Minj]

Sure is. You know, but the thing is, like, I love Drag Race so much that I would have gone back a hundred more times if they asked. I still would show.

[Nicole Byer]

I love watching it.

[Ginger Minj]

I love doing it. I don't Love watching it. I'm not, I'm not gonna lie, like, once you know how the sausage. It's a little ptsd.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Ginger Minj]

But like in the room, I always have the best. I like, I always feel more creative than I ever have before.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, that's because there's essentially a gun to your head saying, you gotta make something, you gotta rehearse this, you gotta do it.

[Ginger Minj]

Uh huh. Well. And this All Stars was like particularly strange in the sense that biggest cast for All Stars ever, but we didn't all compete together. We did the bracket system, but in those three episodes you basically do a whole season's worth of stuff. So you're not just making a dress, you're making a dress while writing the script and a full backstory and then choreographing it and recording it and then performing it. And it's like all these things.

[Nicole Byer]

So hectic.

[Ginger Minj]

It is, but I love it.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you like this format better?

[Ginger Minj]

I won't say I liked it better. I don't feel like I'm as close to this cast as I am to my other cast simply because we didn't have as much time together. But I, I liked it like from a professional standpoint because I'm the girl that likes to go in, do my job, do what I need to do, and then go home. Go home and save my baby, you know. But it was nice for that. But I. I did miss kind of like the trauma bonding over.

[Nicole Byer]

Over the course.

[Ginger Minj]

Of course. A month.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. Oh, months.

[Ginger Minj]

Well, season seven was. Was eight weeks.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, okay. Well, that's a long time.

[Ginger Minj]

It was a long time.

[Nicole Byer]

That's much longer than I thought.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah. I mean, this was also still like the Logo days. The whole crew was a lot smaller. So you had to like really take your time doing things. Cause you had to wait for the cameraman to get around to you. And then of course, like, I mean, I've been there through logo, through VH1, through Viacom, MTV, Paramount, plus everything. So I've seen it like grow, which has been really exciting too. But that's another reason I've gone back so many times. He's like, I know it's going to be a totally different experience.

[Nicole Byer]

Bigger and bigger and it's a different experience. Season seven, you know that that's not people's favorite season, right?

[Ginger Minj]

It has aged like a fine wine though.

[Nicole Byer]

It is my favorite season. I like to rewatch seasons and I rewatch season seven and season five. Those are my two favorite.

[Ginger Minj]

Season five, I think is like top tier. Drag Race. You can never beat it. I think All Stars 2 is probably like star.

[Nicole Byer]

She was very.

[Ginger Minj]

It's probably the best season all around. But I think as far as main seasons go, like season five, which, I mean, basically All Stars 2 is just a redo of season five.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Ginger Minj]

But it's my favorite.

[Nicole Byer]

It's. Can I get an Amen? I think is a perfect episode of television. Can I get an Amen?

[Ginger Minj]

Can I get.

[Nicole Byer]

It makes me laugh so hard. And Shakesqueer is one of my all time favorite challenges.

[Ginger Minj]

I still watch it. I still watch it.

[Nicole Byer]

So wild that there were so many acting challenges and there was maybe two actors on the show.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah, it was wild in the room too, because it was like, I mean, the challenges were as divided as the cast, like, skill wise, which I thought was really smart because it was like you had somebody like me or Max who could come in and nail an acting challenge and then the very next week you're like, okay, but can you make a dress out of trash bags?

[Nicole Byer]

Well, nope, I simply cannot.

[Ginger Minj]

But then you had like Violet and Miss Fame on the flip side who were like, oh, I can make anything.

[Nicole Byer]

But you want me to act? No, I cannot. Yeah, Eggs, Eggs, Eggs. Always makes me laugh.

[Ginger Minj]

It's Eggs, Eggs, eggs. After, out of all of the episodes and, and things that I have done on that show, that is what I hear the most.

[Nicole Byer]

It's just deeply funny and stupid and I love silly shit. The sillier the better. How did you get into drag?

[Ginger Minj]

How did I get it through theater?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ginger Minj]

I mean, we're either born through theater or on Halloween. And I was auditioning for this play at the Orlando Fringe Festival called Boys, Boys, Boys.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Ginger Minj]

And they wanted, I think, eight men willing to go completely naked or two drag queens. And I was like, I'll do the drag part. Yeah. I was like, I've never done drag, but I don't want my grandmother to disown me. So I'm going to go for the drag thing. It can't be difficult, Right. And I mean, I just kind of took to it immediately and I loved it. Like, I suddenly, like, I was like, oh, I can finally play the roles that I want to play. I finally feel like a little freer on stage. And then immediately, like, all, like buzzards, you know, just circling the Fringe Festival, all the drag higher ups from Orlando.

[Nicole Byer]

Because you were asked to audition for the show, right? Or did you submit to the show?

[Ginger Minj]

Jujubee made me audition for the show.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Ginger Minj]

She made me audition because we got booked to do this gig together. We were being honored by the Gay and Lesbian Youth center of Hoboken, New Jersey.

[Nicole Byer]

Hoboken?

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah. The drag quag capital of the world. But we had never met before. But that night, we spent the whole weekend together, basically. And after we had gotten to put some of the kids in drag, do a show with them and do this talk back, she comes up to me and she's like, bitch, why aren't you on the show? Said, what show? I was a pageant girl. And she was like, on Drag Race. Cause they don't want me. I'm sure. I am a pageant girl. Through and through. Five years in a row, I had done Ms. Continental plus, and I had always been in the top five. And I was just like, I know it's my year. I know it's my girl. Every year, you're like, I know it's my year. But she said, no, I think you're gonna do this show because they need you and you need them. Didn't think about it. Went and competed at Ms. Continental Plus. And instead of getting first runner up, I got second runner up.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Ginger Minj]

And I went, okay, it's getting stale. I need to change things for me. And I got this phone call that was like, hey, we keep having Jujube blow our phone.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that.

[Ginger Minj]

Like, are you interested in auditioning? And I think. I mean, are you interested in me auditioning? He said, wait, well, sure, yeah. But just so you know, like, the deadline is in a couple of days. I had never filmed anything before. I still had an Android. Not sure how to use it. So I, like, woke up my roommate, and I was like, you're younger than I am. Do you have, like, one of them smartphones that can make me look good? He's like, well, I have a smartphone. I don't know if they can make you look good. We knocked out this audition video literally in, like, one afternoon. It's awful. It is so bad. I sent it to. No, I'll send it to you.

[Nicole Byer]

I would love.

[Ginger Minj]

I will send it to you. The reason I got cast, they still love to tell me this story every time I see them, is because I'm doing my RuPaul lip sync, which, P.S. was Geronimo, because it was the only one that was for free on YouTube and I didn't have any money to do it.

[Nicole Byer]

I was a bitch on a budget.

[Ginger Minj]

I was. So I'm, like, painting and learning this song as I go. I'm doing it. I had gone to our neighbor's House while they were at work, because we were in a little apartment, and they had this gorgeous house with this big deck with a pool and everything hung up. These IKEA curtains they had hanging in a bag. And I'm just performing in front of the pool, but I'm so into it. I've got these big feathered sleeves. I'm flinging them around. The curtains are falling, chairs are flying into the pool. Literally, the whole world is falling down around me. And I just keep going. I sent this video in going, well, at least they'll know my name. And then next year, I'll try next.

[Nicole Byer]

Year, I'll put it together. I'll get me a little budget, and I'll actually put together a good video.

[Ginger Minj]

Exactly. So I literally was just like, let me just get on the radar and then really work on it for next year. I immediately get a phone call that's like, hey, we need to set you up for a psych eval. Oh, okay, sure. I said, was my video that bad? No. Like, yes, it was. But, no, we need to send you for this psych eval. It's just, like, the next step. And I was like, how many are there? Because most programs, I do have 12. He's go, you're funny. You're funny. I was like, no, just traumatized. So I go into it, blah, blah, blah, flash forward. I get cast on the show, and my very first day, we were recording the Covergirls album. So before we even met each other, I got to meet Ru, and Ru's laughing at me. And she's like, I've been wanting to talk to you. Do you know why you got cast as it? I have been wondering, Mother. And she said, girl, your audition video was awful. Just cackling in my face. She said, the whole world is falling down around you, but you kept going, and that's a star. She said, so I know you have what it takes. And I was like, oh, fuck. Okay. Like, I never thought about it that way, but. But that's been my whole life, right? Like, my whole world is always falling down around me, but I keep going. And I think that's kind of why, like, Drag Race found me at a time when I was probably, like, at my most vulnerable and has been there for all of the big changes in my life. So I think that's why I keep going back, is because it's like that comfort of RuPaul saying, the world's falling apart.

[Nicole Byer]

You keep going, you keep going. I love that. I love that so much that everything is Just so chaotic. And you're like, well, I'm just gonna.

[Ginger Minj]

Keep performing because I don't know what else to do.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. I don't know how to fix it. I'm not gonna reach in the pool and get the chair. I'm just gonna keep singing.

[Ginger Minj]

Just keep singing. Are you.

[Nicole Byer]

You're married?

[Ginger Minj]

Yes, I am married.

[Nicole Byer]

And you got married in Orlando?

[Ginger Minj]

No, I got married at dragcon New York by Michelle Visage.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, yeah. You were like, I love drag. I gots to get married at dragcon.

[Ginger Minj]

Well, that was their idea, so they wanted to, like, sell tickets to this and make it a thing. And I was like, no, here's my wedding. Like, I'm already, like, here. So I was doing a panel, and I said, I'm fine if we do it, like, as a surprise at the end of the panel for the people who have come to see me, because I know that those will be, like, the people who love me, that want to be there for that. And we told our family, so they got to come in and everything, but. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you do, like, another ceremony or the drag?

[Ginger Minj]

We did. Well. We did a reception. Reception when we got home.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Ginger Minj]

Because we were like, nobody wants to sit through the right. Nobody wants to see us profess our love to each other. You can watch it on YouTube. But we. We used to have this place called the Whirly Dome. Have you played whirly ball before? No. So they put you in these, like, bumper cars, and you play lacrosse as you drive around. It's the most athletic I've ever felt. I'm actually very good at it.

[Nicole Byer]

It's wild.

[Ginger Minj]

It is wild. The wildest part was when my sister, who is a special education teacher, there was this new teacher at her school. So she was trying to reach out and, like, be nice to her and welcome her. We didn't know this woman was an alcoholic. On her off time, she was so blitzed that when she, like, couldn't get the ball, she got out of the car on this fully, like. Like, electric floor. And so she's getting shocked, but it doesn't stop her. She just keeps going for the ball. And eventually she, like, falls on the floor, and it's just. It was wild.

[Nicole Byer]

I would love to be that drunk.

[Ginger Minj]

I would love to be. Yeah, the problem is getting shocked.

[Nicole Byer]

And I'm like, I gotta get it.

[Ginger Minj]

I used to be that drunk. Which is why I don't do that anymore.

[Nicole Byer]

Which is why you were like, mine gotta take a step back. I won't be Doing this. During your wedding, you were dressed as Snow White and your husband was dressed as Prince Charming.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Are you guys Disney gays?

[Ginger Minj]

We are Disney gays. Well, we're theme park gays.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Ginger Minj]

So, actually, I love all theme parks.

[Nicole Byer]

Which one's your favorite?

[Ginger Minj]

So we bought our house specifically because it is.

[Nicole Byer]

Wait, do you live in celebration?

[Ginger Minj]

I don't live in celebration. I can't afford celebration in this political environment. No, we bought our house because it's 15 minutes from the airport, 15 minutes from Disney, 15 minutes from Universal, and then right around the corner from Gatorland.

[Nicole Byer]

I've never been to Gatorland.

[Ginger Minj]

It's beautiful.

[Nicole Byer]

Really?

[Ginger Minj]

It actually is really beautiful. I think it's the oldest roadside theme park attraction.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Ginger Minj]

In Florida. What is going to do there?

[Nicole Byer]

Just touch a gator?

[Ginger Minj]

No, you can't touch the gator. Well, you can touch the baby gator, I guess.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Ginger Minj]

But more than the gators, it's like these really beautiful boardwalks that go through this untouched swampland. So, like, I mean, that sounds so gross, but it's just.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, I've never seen a swan.

[Ginger Minj]

It's really beautiful. Like the trees and all of the vegetation. I guess that's what you call it. I'm not an outdoorsy person.

[Nicole Byer]

Vegetation. Why not? The greenery?

[Ginger Minj]

The greenery.

[Nicole Byer]

The scenery.

[Ginger Minj]

The scenery. And the Coffee Beanery. Everything is there. They have this one gator called Jolene who went viral. She was a rescue because she's missing the top part of her jaw. So she, like, eats funny. But they have her in her special, like, country music, Dolly Parton inspired enclosure. They have put her in wigs before for photo shoots. She's so cute, and she's really, like, super sweet.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that. The older I get, the more I love animals. All animals.

[Ginger Minj]

I do, too. They just bring me such happiness because they're so unaffected. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And they're just living. Jawlene's like, yeah, maybe I don't have a job, but these nice people keep doing fun things with me.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah. She's like, I get to wear wigs, and they feed me three times a day. I mean, it's basically drag race.

[Nicole Byer]

How did you meet your partner?

[Ginger Minj]

So the story that we tell our parents is that we met at his workplace, which technically is true, but we met on Growler.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Ginger Minj]

Which is just Grindr for Harry Chepman.

[Nicole Byer]

People. I know what growler is. For the bears, for the cubs.

[Ginger Minj]

For the cubs and the people who love them. Yes. We met there. We started talking there. And then he used to Be a manager at the front gate for Universal. So I happened to be there and we met.

[Nicole Byer]

How kismet. Because did you love theme parks before you met your partner? Okay.

[Ginger Minj]

Oh, yeah. They're so theatrical and they're so gay. And I love a roller coaster. So I just happened to be there. It was during Halloween horror nights time. I don't do Halloween horror nights because I don't. I don't like to be scared that way. Like, I love ghosts and ghost hunting and ghost stories and all that kind of stuff. But like murderer serial killers chase you with a chainsaw. I don't like that.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Ginger Minj]

So he was working the overnights, but I had met him at the front gate and he was like, I have a break if you would want to come and see me and we'll maybe like get lunch or something. So we did. It was like 30 minutes get to know you kind of thing. And we hit it off. So that night when he. Well, that night was like three in the morning when he left there. I went and picked him up and we went to the IHOP across the street and we stayed there for like two hours until I had to go to the airport to go to my next gig. So then we just start talking. And for like the first month, we were just theme park buddies. Like, I knew I really liked him and that I had.

[Nicole Byer]

But you weren't like officially dating.

[Ginger Minj]

No, we.

[Nicole Byer]

You were just.

[Ginger Minj]

There was nothing sexual.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Ginger Minj]

As much as I wanted there to be, I was. I had just gotten out of a really abusive 11 year relationship.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, damn. I'm sorry.

[Ginger Minj]

And I mean, I'm not. I'm not sorry because, I mean, I don't think that I would appreciate what I have if I hadn't gone through what I did. I feel like that about everything in life.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Ginger Minj]

But it was just the first time in my adult life I had been out on my own. I was suddenly famous. And I was just trying to like, live that fantasy, but also navigate it in a healthy way, which none of the ways I approached were healthy. Psych. So I was like, maybe I don't need to drag somebody else into this right now. Maybe I just need to kind of.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, just need a friend.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah. And I need to go to theme parks now I have somebody to go with. And then we were at Epcot one day, starts raining and we're just like laughing because in Orlando when it rains, it rains for 5 minutes, 10 minutes.

[Nicole Byer]

And then it's done.

[Ginger Minj]

And it's done. And it's beautiful. But I Love it at the theme parks because all the tourists clear out. They're like, oh, no, our day is ruined.

[Nicole Byer]

If you just wait it out, you would nap.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah. But they're all gone, so now you just walk on everything. So, like, we're just standing there in, I think, like, the Germany Pavilion or something across. And we had been drinking around the world with some of our friends. It's raining. We're laughing at everybody running away. And he just looks at me and goes, I love you. And I went, what? And he goes, nothing. No, I heard you, but I'd like to hear it again. He said, I love you. And I said, I think I love you too.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, what a dream.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah, but it was so matter of fact, I was like, yeah, I think I do. I think I do. Like, why fight it? Because, like, what's that gonna get me other than frustrated? So, I mean, we've had our ups and downs, but it's been 10 years now. It's been.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so sweet. That's. I. That's also wild that, like, you were not in, like, I guess you were intimate in a different way, and then you.

[Ginger Minj]

I think that's why it worked, though, because, you know, usually I would probably, you know, put out on the first date and catch feelings in a different way and not really know if there's a connection there outside of that. But luckily, we had the time to, like, grow as friends and realize, oh, we like to spend time together. We like to be around each other. And then, like, the sex just ended up being a bonus.

[Nicole Byer]

Ugh. I love it.

[Ginger Minj]

I love it, too.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so fucking sweet. 10 years is a long time. So, like, what are the things. Does. Does your partner travel with you to get.

[Ginger Minj]

He does now. For the first, like, four, maybe five years, he was. He's kept his universal job. And it was tough because, you know, I've been blessed enough that even when I haven't won, I've been very bookable.

[Nicole Byer]

So I've worked booked and blessed, booked.

[Ginger Minj]

And blessed, like, constantly. And I love that. Like, people think I complain sometimes I'm like, I'm tired. I did this and this and this.

[Nicole Byer]

You're allowed to.

[Ginger Minj]

No, I'm not complaining. I promise.

[Nicole Byer]

You're allowed to be tired. You're allowed to feel a little exhausted. You're allowed to recharge. Like, that's okay.

[Ginger Minj]

But sometimes I just remind myself, you're tired because you've been able to do these things. And that was tough, being away. But he ended up, like, taking a Leave of absence from Universal to go as a PA on a Christmas Queens tour. And then Covid happened and he got furloughed, and he was like, well, you know what? I actually really loved being on tour with you. So if you think we can make it work, let's just keep trying that. Then we started a production company of our own where we produced theatrical drag shows. Like Hocus Pocus Live is our biggest.

[Nicole Byer]

One, which was very fucking funny. You wrote that?

[Ginger Minj]

I wrote it.

[Nicole Byer]

It's really funny.

[Ginger Minj]

Thank you.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, the jokes were just so solid. And one of my favorite things is the three of you were having such a fun fucking time. And you could tell, like, there was things that I was like. I don't know if that was scripted or not, but, like, everyone laughed at. Like. Like, there was times you guys broke. That was just, like, so delightful. I loved it. I had such a good time.

[Ginger Minj]

And that it's all genuine, too. I. I have shared the stage with a lot of girls, and I always have a good time. Well, I don't always, but I generally have a good time. But with Jujubee and Sapphira in particular, like, we all come from the same school of drag. We've all been in the game for a while. Like, Sapphira may be new to Drag Race, but she is old school drag.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Ginger Minj]

And she gets it. We're all theatrical people and we just know, like. Like, kind of like my audition video. Even if shit's falling down around you, just keep going and have a good time with it. And we did. Every single night. It was a different show every night.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that. I love it too, because you're kind of like, feeding off the audience. You're feeding off each other.

[Ginger Minj]

And I'm gonna tell you who does not like it is Jujubee.

[Nicole Byer]

Really?

[Ginger Minj]

No. So I'm like, the one.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm shook.

[Ginger Minj]

I am the one in the middle. Juju likes everything, like, by the book. She want, like, let's rehearse it, let's lock it, let's do it. And then on the complete opposite end, Sapphira's like, I don't think I even read the script until the third performance. And then there's me in the middle. That's like, okay, anything is fine as long as we qualify it. But let's just work together. Let's listen to each other. So the first couple of rehearsals were wild. Trying to, like, wrangle both styles. But then once we realize, like, we don't need to fight each other on the way we approach it just kind of go with it. We all had a lot of fun. And even by the end of it, actually by the end of the first week, jujubee was like coming out there and trying a little ad lib.

[Nicole Byer]

And by the time I saw it.

[Ginger Minj]

She'D look a lot. She would do one and she look at me and go.

[Nicole Byer]

I think I saw that and it killed me. It was just. And then Sapphira's voice is just insane. Actually, all your voices are incredible. It was just, I don't know, it was one of those things where I love a lip sync, but I also really love, like hearing someone's gift, you know?

[Ginger Minj]

Well, when I started drag in Orlando, it was a lip sync town. Like, there was a space for every style of drag except Broadway, live singing, anything like that. There was not a space for me. My best friend Gidget, who did all the costumes for Hocus Pocus.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, okay.

[Ginger Minj]

She's insane.

[Nicole Byer]

She did an incredible job.

[Ginger Minj]

So good. And our other friend, the Minx, it was like the three of us were the little Broadway theater babies that had no home. So we created our Hamburger Mary's. The Broadway brunch, everybody. Nobody's gonna go. It's gonna be terrible. From week one, we had a line around the block. We started winning all of these best brunch in America awards from like all of these major publications. People were coming from around the country to see us or making us a stop when they would come to Disney. And that's really like where I got my footing. It's where I got my first little bit of a name, little bit of fame. And that's what pushed me into doing more and more and more. So I love lip syncing, but for me, I just have such a soft spot for a live singing theater queen.

[Nicole Byer]

I love it. Broadway. I love a musical. I love a play. I love it all. Real quick, we gotta take a break. We need to talk about something we don't discuss enough. Eating disorders are way more common than you think. And they don't always look the way people expect. It's not just one thing. It could be constant dieting or feeling ashamed about how you eat. It might be just, you know, being super rigid about exercise or letting food rules run your whole day. And sometimes it's just that voice in your head that never lets you feel okay in your body. That voice. You don't have to keep living with it if you want to feel different. Meet Equip. Equip is a virtual eating disorder treatment program that meets you exactly where you are. You get a full team of experts, a therapist, a dietitian, even a mentor who has lived through it. They understand what it's like to navigate recovery while you're still living your actual life. It's covered by most insurance plans and there's no wait list so you can start asap. If you've been thinking maybe I should get some help, this is your sign. Visit Equip Health dateme to learn more. That's Equip Health dateme. Let Equip help you. It's officially the time of the year where we promise to cook more and order out less, but usually that resolution lasts about like three days before the vegetables rot in the fridge. Hello. Fresh actually makes it easy to stick to a plan without the stress. They have over a hundred recipes every single week, from seasonal favorites to global dishes. They also have bigger portions now so no one leaves the table hungry. I made some sesame crusted salmon recently that honestly tasted better than a restaurant and I didn't have to leave my house for it. If you're trying to focus on your health this year, they have over 35 high protein recipes a week and even new Mediterranean and GLP1 friendly options. It's wholesome ingredients, sustainably sourced seafood and it just tastes good. Because when dinner tastes good, nothing hits like home cooking. Go to hellofresh.com date me10fm to get 10 free meals plus a free Zwilling knife $144.99 value on your third box offer valid while supplies last. Free meals apply as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. If you're starting a business, a creative project, or just want a a place to show off your work, you need a website. And Squarespace is the all in one platform that helps you stand out online. You guys know I'm not a computer person. I do not know how to code. That is why Squarespace is perfect. They have cutting edge design tools that make everything so easy. You just choose a template and drag and drop things until it looks professional. It makes you look like you hired a designer even though you did it yourself. And if you're someone who sells services, like maybe you're a consultant or you teach classes, Squarespace gives you everything you need to get paid. You can book clients and invoices and handle payments all in one place. You can even set up an email campaign to keep your customers coming back. It streamlines everything so you can focus on making money, not managing a website. Make yourself a Website Head to squarespace.com date me for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code date me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com/date me promo code date, date me. And we're back. So you said you've lost £200.

[Ginger Minj]

That's.

[Nicole Byer]

That's a lot of weight.

[Ginger Minj]

It is. And a lot of people go, you're so short. I didn't even realize you had that much to lose. I was £360. I am 5 foot 3, 5 foot 4, like, right in between there. And it got to the point where, like, I couldn't do anything. I couldn't do anything. I ended up. I got Covid, which turned into pneumonia, which put me in the hospital. And because of my weight and all of the, like, the compounding issues around it, like, I had super high blood pressure, really bad sleep apnea, pre diabetic, which I don't know how I was pre diabetic. I was like, joe's.

[Nicole Byer]

You're like, how's this?

[Ginger Minj]

Pretty? I was like, I feel like I'm in it.

[Nicole Byer]

You're there.

[Ginger Minj]

I feel like I am in it. But there was just so much wrong that I wasn't getting better. I was getting worse. And I really thought I was gonna die.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, God.

[Ginger Minj]

Like, sat in that hospital bed for weeks, and I was just like, this is it. Like, I was just trying to make. It was really scary, and I was making peace with it, which is so sad to say, but I was like, I'm fighting it, but I'm also, like, exhausted, and I just feel like shit. And then while I was in that hospital bed, I got the phone call to come back for All Stars 10, and it suddenly, something started clicking in my head, and I started, like, stopped thinking about feeling sorry for myself and feeling super sick, and my wheels started turning about, well, if I did go back, what would I do? And then later that night, I'm sitting there in the trailer for the first Wicked comes out, and Oz is my lifelong love. That made me feel better. It was like everything just started making me feel better. Like little rays of sunshine through the clouds. And I promised myself that if I got better that I would do everything that I could to, like, take my health back. And I have.

[Nicole Byer]

Has the response been positive from fans? Because I feel like sometimes. Oh, I guess I know the answer.

[Ginger Minj]

Is the response ever positive about anything? No. No, No. I mean, from half of them, yes. And from half of them, no. And I mean, I. I love Ariana Grande. I love Wicked. I love Cynthia. The discussion about their bodies has been so disgusting to me. And then suddenly, like, as I'm scrolling through, I get past, like, the 50th article about them, and there's a Reddit post about me and my body with like, 400, 500 comments on it of people just dissecting my body. And there's the people that like, oh, she looks great. Oh, my God, she looks sick. Oh, she looks terrible. She doesn't look good no matter what she does. I liked her better fat. I like her this way. And even today, I was got off the airplane, got in the car, and I'm driving over here, just scrolling through my Instagram, and somebody comments on there. You scare me now with the way you look. Please get fat again. And it's like, first of all, I never set out to be skinny.

[Nicole Byer]

Sure.

[Ginger Minj]

Just in the same sense that I never set out to be overweight. I have had issues with my weight my entire life. I was 54 pounds until I was 14 years old. I had a bowel obstruction surgery. They had to go in and, like, piece things together, and I just started rapidly gaining weight. And of course, like, once you hit a certain weight, it kind of takes on a life of its own, and it's hard to get control of it again. So no matter what I did gym, diets, everything, it felt like it made it worse. And when I got out of the hospital, I had done some social media content for Dr. Nelson Leach from Blues and Blahs. He's this therapist, this doctor who deals with LGBTQIA people. His whole thing is like, let's remove the stigma around just being the best you you can be. And I had done some social media stuff for him, and he was like, I want to help you. Just reach out to me when you're ready. And of course, I was offended at first. I was like, help me. I don't need your help.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't need help.

[Ginger Minj]

I don't need help. I've done everything else, and if I can't do it, there's nobody else that can do it for me. And, I mean, I was kind of raised that way. You know, it's like, a lot of.

[Nicole Byer]

People are raised that way. If I can't do it, if I.

[Ginger Minj]

Can'T do it, what are you gonna do for me?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Ginger Minj]

But I had made myself that promise, and I wrote him this long as Instagram message and sent it off. And he called me, and I answered the phone, and he's laughing and he was like, I knew you would be ready. He said, I knew that you had it in you to do this. And I had asked him about weight loss surgery. I hadn't really thought much about any of the GLP ones, just because I was like, oh, it's just another diet fad thing.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, like fen phen or whatever.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah. I was like, it's not gonna work for me because nothing else has. And he said, okay, well, I'm not gonna put you on Ozempic, because Ozempic is for people who are diabetic. You're pre diabetic, so we need to get that under control. But I don't think you need. I don't think everything that's in that shot would benefit you. I'm gonna put you on Zepbound, which I've personally had good luck with. And then I'm going to put you on a diet with a nutritionist. We're gonna get you down to 1200 calories a day, and then we'll build back up from there. And so he had a whole plan. And, like, all of a sudden I was like, oh, so I don't have to do this all myself. And it made it a lot easier to, like, take that step and be like, okay, I'll try it. That first month, I didn't lose a pound. Actually, I think I gained like three or four pounds. And he's like, you're fine, you're fine. Just. Just keep sticking.

[Nicole Byer]

This is so nice, because a lot of people in the medical field are not nice.

[Ginger Minj]

No, they're very mean. They're very. It's particularly with overweight people because they look at us sometimes and treat us like. Like, you did this to yourself.

[Nicole Byer]

You have no self control. And. And you.

[Ginger Minj]

You.

[Nicole Byer]

You have no willpower.

[Ginger Minj]

And if about you, why should I?

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Ginger Minj]

Oh, God. I've had plenty of people tell me that to my face, and mostly the fans. So he took, like, just literally held my hand through the whole thing. And then by month three, I had dropped almost 30 pounds. But it wasn't just about that. Like, the weight loss was actually just, like, an added benefit because all of a sudden, like, my sleep apnea was gone completely and my blood pressure was under control and, like, I'm off of all these other medications. And then here, one year Later, I am £200 down, and, like, I just. I feel better than I ever have.

[Nicole Byer]

I had pretty bad sleep apnea, and I.

[Ginger Minj]

People don't understand how bad that can be, though. Like, they think, oh, so you snore. No, no, I.

[Nicole Byer]

You stop breathing and kind of like, choke yourself back into breathing. And it sounds really sc. I had a. I've told this story on the podcast before, but I was dating somebody who was like, hey, it's scary when you sleep. And I was like, what do you mean? Then I got an app and I started recording it, and I was like, oh, no. And I didn't mind being a fat person. Dare I say. It became part of my identity.

[Ginger Minj]

It was part of my brain.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm a bigger person because I'm still bigger than most. And I remember when I started, like, seeing the weight loss, I was like, oh, no, who is that? And then the sleep apnea went away. And I was like, I really hate that it was tied to weight. Because I do believe, you know, bigger people can be healthy. I just was not one of them.

[Ginger Minj]

I wasn't either.

[Nicole Byer]

And that realization kind of like, sucks to be like, oh, I was doing bad. And my blood pressure went down, my cholesterol went. I was like, okay, for me, I do have to, like, move a couple days a week, and I do have to eat just a little bit less. And it's just. It's a hard thing. Thing. And I do this on Instagram sometimes. I'll go through the comments, and if there's a comment about my body, I'll just delete it. Because I decided I. On my Instagram, I don't want a discussion about my body. Yeah, I don't like it.

[Ginger Minj]

I don't either. It. I'm. I cannot tell you what a mind the last six months have been for me in particular. I mean, Jiggly Caliente was one of my best friends in the world. So they announced the All Stars 10 cast. And, like, the next day, Jiggly passed away. I knew it was coming. Cause the family had called and they were like, hey, if you wanna say your goodbyes to her, let's do that now. So I knew it was coming, but it literally happened hours after the promos dropped. And then three hours later, another one of my really close friends, Divine Grace, passed away.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, God.

[Ginger Minj]

Who played my Dorothy in Golden Girls. And Herman Munster when we did the Munsters. So somebody very, very close to me and I had experienced the super high high and these two really low lows. And in the midst of it, there were all of these people that were either super happy that I was back or really angry that I was back or really concerned how fat I was. Which was weird because we shot the promos after the brackets, like, Halfway through the year before the finale. So I had already lost, like, 65, 70 pounds.

[Nicole Byer]

And people were going, that's not enough.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah. So it was like all of these things were going through my head, and I wasn't, like, learning how to process it quickly enough. So I immediately was like, I know we haven't had a therapy session in a while, but, girl, I need to talk to you.

[Nicole Byer]

I need it.

[Ginger Minj]

I need it.

[Nicole Byer]

I need it.

[Ginger Minj]

And I was hosting the Drag Race live show in Vegas at the time, so I was working six shows a week. So everything was happening. The whole season got progressively worse. The better that I did or the more weight that I lost, the worse the response was to the point where what I have worked 11 years for, what I have, like, sacrificed everything in my life for, everything I ever wanted, I got. And it felt like nobody wanted me to have it. Like, I didn't deserve it, which I know is a lie, because I know you worked hard. I know that I deserved it. I know that I deserved it. I was there. I know that I could have deserved it several other times, and I know that there were other girls who could have deserved it this time, but I don't think that that makes me any less deserving. But once they realized their comments about me not shouldn't having, like, me winning, their negativity about me winning wasn't affecting me. So then it moved on to the body. Well, no, then it turned into, well, Bob the drag queen went on her podcast and said that you lied about this. I'm like, that's news to me. Cause I'm pulling up my. My messages with Bob right here. Like, none of this is on here. And then, oh, well, this girl said that. She said that Ginger lied about this thing. And I'm like, okay, so this is all, like, overwhelming, but in, like, a really funny way, because you're like, girl, what the hell is even going on?

[Nicole Byer]

Just let me enjoy it. Just let the winner enjoy it.

[Ginger Minj]

But I wasn't even, like. Like, putting stock into it. It was making me laugh because I was like, oh, my God, like, everybody's talking about me. Like. Like that I'm not even a part of is so funny. And then all the Miss Mojo videos were suddenly, like, even if the video wasn't about me, I was the screen grab. So I was like, okay, well, at least I'm popular. At least they're talking about me.

[Nicole Byer]

At least. What is it? There's no bad press. There's only.

[Ginger Minj]

There's only press. And so why be pressed? Which has always been my mod. Like, I don't let shit like that get to me. But. But then it all turned to my body. Something that I was directly in control of for the first time in my life. Something that I was proud of for the first time in my life. And not because I had lost the weight, but because I could walk.

[Nicole Byer]

You can walk. You're breathing better. You don't have sleep apnea.

[Ginger Minj]

I could sing, I could dance.

[Nicole Byer]

It was hard.

[Ginger Minj]

It was really hard.

[Nicole Byer]

It was one of the hardest things you can do.

[Ginger Minj]

And we can talk about that in a second because a lot of people have. Of this misconception. But that's when it started to get to me, when I'm. When Suddenly I'm like 500, 400, whatever. Many comments on Reddit about my body, and I know that I'm a public figure and.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. But I think we could just be nicer as a people. Like, we don't have to dissect people's body. Like. Like, even when people are like, well, I'm worried. Why? You don't know them.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah, you don't know me at all.

[Nicole Byer]

Be worried in your bedroom. You don't gotta say it out loud.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah, well. And honestly, I think what a lot of it is, maybe not all of it, maybe there are people who are concerned, which you don't have to be, because I am under strict medical supervision. But I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that it was the one thing they could really punch down on me for, because even if I don't have the best looks, my looks have elevated over the years. My drag has become more polished. I've always been very talented. I can sing, I can kind of dance, I can act, and I can be funny, and I'm intelligent. Like, there's just. I have a lot going for me, and it took me a long time to really, like, appreciate that, But I appreciate it enough to say those things are really good, and I do them very well. So the only thing that they can say now is a backhanded compliment or, oh, God, I'm so worried about her. No, you're not.

[Nicole Byer]

No, you're not. You absolutely are not. You just want to be shady and mean.

[Ginger Minj]

You just want to be mean. And so. Oh, my gosh, she has so much loose skin. Well, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, that's what happened.

[Ginger Minj]

Here's what happened.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I.

[Ginger Minj]

And guess what? I'm fine with it.

[Nicole Byer]

It is what it is.

[Ginger Minj]

Somebody said, are you gonna get this all cut out? I was like, no. Why should I, I love it. I'm fine.

[Nicole Byer]

Also, who cares? It's your body. Whatever you do to your body is your choice. And I think, I don't know, I think people should just like, shut up about it. Yeah, just shut up.

[Ginger Minj]

This is the one comment that made me, like, I don't even know what it made me do or think. I got this DM from this girl who had been going through those comments and I saw her commenting a lot, so I recognized the name. She sends me this message and she goes, how fucking dare you? Your weight loss has triggered my eating disorder and you should be ashamed of yourself. And I was like, what does my weight loss have to do with you at all?

[Nicole Byer]

Absolutely nothing. This person doesn't know you.

[Ginger Minj]

No. So I responded like we always healthily do, you know, and basically said that. I was like, you know, I'm sorry to hear that. Never my intention. I want to know how my weight loss affects your eating disorder. Since you've brought me into this conversation.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, tell me.

[Ginger Minj]

I would love to.

[Nicole Byer]

Did she respond?

[Ginger Minj]

She responded. She said, well, you did that People magazine interview where you said that, you know, you're on these shots and you're on a 1200 calorie a day diet. That's not healthy for anybody. I said, have you ever watched My 600 Pound Life? If not, I'm gonna tell you I do. It's one of my favorite shows.

[Nicole Byer]

It's one of my favorites too.

[Ginger Minj]

I love it. I love it because I think you can learn so much from. I mean, Dr. Now's also the shadiest fucking bitch in the world.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, Dr. Now.

[Ginger Minj]

So shady.

[Nicole Byer]

He said something so funny where one of the ladies was like, well, that's just not enough food. And he was like, you've eaten enough food for years.

[Ginger Minj]

Uh huh. He's so shady. And I live for it. But I was like, that's. I mean, it's normal when you're severely obese. If you want to get your diet under control, you have to cut back to. I said, and this has all been done with a doctor, with a doctor and a nutritionist on top of it. Like not just one. And the way it was explained to me was we strip it all back so that you're getting 1200 calories a day and you have to choose to make the right decisions of what those 1200 calories are. Yes, it's about the caloric intake, but it's also about learning and retraining your body and your mind to go, all right, there's this many calories and I have to get protein. So let me pick this and this and this.

[Nicole Byer]

What did she say to that? Did she respond to ever?

[Ginger Minj]

Well, and I. No. And then she goes, yeah, but to sustain that for a year. I said, I never said I sustained it for a year. Every month I went up by a couple hundred calories because if I had stayed at that, my weight also like, my weight loss would have like just plateaued. Like you, as I understand.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, it just feels like it's somebody speaking on something that they've done zero research on or they just wanted you to feel bad or something.

[Ginger Minj]

Well, I think it's a little bit of both. And I also wanted to keep the conversation going because I felt like not a teachable moment because it's not my place to teach anybody anything. I've actually had like, on the flip side of that, I have probably talked to 100, 150 other people that have said, I read your article. I've seen like your journey through this and it inspired me. So I'm doing it now. What can I expect? What can I do? And I will sit there and talk to every single one of them. That's sweet. That's nice because I, I had somebody there to do that for me and that's the only way I was successful with this.

[Nicole Byer]

Look. It's January, it's cold. Brrr. And it's dark. And if you're anything like me, you just want to be warm and cozy. But we also have to leave the house eventually. That's why you need to check out the clothes from Quince. Quince is the best place to refresh your wardrobe with those high quality staples that make you look pulled together. I'm talking a hundred percent washable silk tops, Italian wool coats and perfectly cut denim that you will actually want to wear every day. But the real NVP in my closet right now is my Quince Mongolian cashmere sweater. It has kept me cozy all holiday season and I've been wearing it constantly and it's held up so well. And can you believe it only cost $50? I can only get it at that price point with Quince because Quince skips the middleman and works directly with ethical factories. You get that top tier quality for significantly less than other brands. Refresh your wardrobe with quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com date me for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com Date me to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com. date me. I like that. You've been a. A Sherpa for people.

[Ginger Minj]

Yes, well, but people also think, like, it's a gotcha moment when they're always like, oh, Ozempic. Ozem. First of all, no, it's not Ozempic. It's Zepbound.

[Nicole Byer]

Get the brand. Right.

[Ginger Minj]

But I've also never hidden it, ever. I even did a full People magazine spread about it. And so it's not that gotcha moment that people think it is, but then they also come back with, well, you're just lazy. You just wanna take this miracle shot. Honey, there it is. Not a miracle. I mean, it's a miracle what. What you can benefit from, but you.

[Nicole Byer]

Still have to do the work.

[Ginger Minj]

The work is.

[Nicole Byer]

It's hard. It's hard. You gotta do your little workouts and whatnot. You gotta portion out food and. And weigh things, and it's awful. Wait. Oh, I have a question. So after you were on season seven, did people slip into your DMs to be like, hey, you want.

[Ginger Minj]

Oh, yeah. All the time. And it was so weird. I mean, they still do it to some extent, although I'm 41 now, so I've. I've gotten older and the demographic has.

[Nicole Byer]

Gotten younger.

[Ginger Minj]

So the twain don't meet, you know? But I was in. I was opening for Wilson Phillips, okay, In DC Pride, like, two months after season seven ended, and I had met up with this boy. It was like this. That. That brief time in my life where I was just single and, like, suddenly famous. I was like, oh, sure, yeah, why not? You're cute. Why not? I'll try it. And as we're having sex, he literally, like, turns around and goes, oh, my God, I can't believe I'm getting fucked by Ginger Minj. And I went, you have to leave. You have to leave. You have to leave right now.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you finish?

[Ginger Minj]

No. No.

[Nicole Byer]

That is wild.

[Ginger Minj]

It was wild.

[Nicole Byer]

What a wild thing to say. Has that happened again?

[Ginger Minj]

Because I've never allowed myself to get into that. See, I had met him. I was very new to being gay famous, and I had met him on Grindr. I didn't know he knew who I was because in my head, I'm still like, oh, not everyone's seen it. That's Ginger from the bar. You know, she's gonna go down to Hamburger Mary's. And it. It just took me such by surprise. So, no, no, never allowed that to happen again.

[Nicole Byer]

What's the worst Date you've been on while you were in your.

[Ginger Minj]

I had a few dates where they pretend to be interested to you, but their interest in you relies solely on the Drag Race experience. So I felt like I spent the whole time just, like, explaining, regurgitating facts, telling him how tall RuPaul is, how beautiful she looks, is she nice, all that kind of. And it's like, I don't mind talking about these things, but you haven't given me an opportunity to get to know you at all, other than the fact that you're a fan. And I don't think you're even a fan of me. Like, I think you're just a fan of Drag Race in the show.

[Nicole Byer]

The proximity was good enough for them.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah. Like, not that they ever made me feel unwanted in any of it, but it just felt like. This could have been an email.

[Nicole Byer]

Just a little bit.

[Ginger Minj]

It could have been an email.

[Nicole Byer]

This could have been an email. We didn't have to do this in person. Date. What's the most romantic thing your husband's done for you?

[Ginger Minj]

He taught me how to love myself.

[Nicole Byer]

Ah, that's nice.

[Ginger Minj]

Honestly, I hated myself for a very long time. And he. He would always come up behind me, like, if I. I would go out of my way to avoid mirrors, just. Which is so weird as a drag.

[Nicole Byer]

Queen who gets ready in front of a mirror.

[Ginger Minj]

In front of a mirror, but when I'm in drag, that's my mask. That's also been the weirdest part about losing the weight, is relearning my entire face. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

My eye shape changed.

[Ginger Minj]

Everything changed.

[Nicole Byer]

I was like, what the fuck?

[Ginger Minj]

Well, and that's why I ended up getting filler, was just because, you know, I lost so much weight, everything was kind of saggy, so jujube made me get it. Jujube is the catalyst for all these decisions in my life, but he would always come up behind me and, like, just hold my face to the mirror. And he was like, you're beautiful. Like, just look at yourself. And I would do everything. I'd try to make a joke, try to dismiss it, try to look away, and he wouldn't let me. And, I mean, he's got his issues, and he drives me fucking nuts sometimes. Crazy. We actually have a boyfriend as well.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, you do?

[Ginger Minj]

We do. We've had a boyfriend named Michael. We're the Three Little Bears. Mama, Papa, and Baby Bear. And we've been with him. Christmas was five years.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my goodness.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah. And I love it because when I do the three of you live together, we Live together. We live together with my mom, my sister, my youngest nephew, and three dogs and one cat.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my God.

[Ginger Minj]

It's our own version of Full House.

[Nicole Byer]

My. That's a lot.

[Ginger Minj]

I wanted to take care of my family. Well, not the whole family. I don't even talk to the. I don't talk to most of the family, but my immediate family, like my mom, really. When I wanted to be a Broadway star, she cashed in her 401k. She gave me every cent that she had to move to New York and try. It didn't work out, but it ended up leading to drag, which led to this.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it worked out so.

[Ginger Minj]

And my sister has been a special education teacher for 35 years now. And she's your best friend, My sister? No, no, no. I love her dearly.

[Nicole Byer]

Was it in my research? Was it in my research? Oh, your mother was your best friend?

[Ginger Minj]

My mother.

[Nicole Byer]

Wow.

[Ginger Minj]

My mother. Reading's hard, but she also drives me crazy. But I always promised that, you know.

[Nicole Byer]

That you would take care of them.

[Ginger Minj]

I promised myself that if I ever got into the position where I could, I would. And it's a bone of contention sometimes with my husband because it's like, you know, you're suddenly the landlord too. It's not like renting an apartment where if something breaks and with that many animals and people under one, it's a big house, but.

[Nicole Byer]

But it's still a lot of people and a lot of animals. Wait.

[Ginger Minj]

On the airplane here. I had to pay somebody to put in a new kitchen sink. I had to pay somebody to come and fix the. A hole that got kicked in the wall by one of the do like by playing. We have Elfie, who is our one year old corgi, and she is very much in Elphaba. She marches to the beat of her own drum. And she has this habit of taking this bowl that she has and flinging it, like up in the air and trying to get it on her head like she works at Benihana.

[Nicole Byer]

That's funny.

[Ginger Minj]

But she flung it and it hit the wall and put a hole in it. So I had to have a whole piece of that replaced. And then I had to have the sliding glass door replaced as well. All on the airplane here. So my husband's wild.

[Nicole Byer]

Busy, busy, busy, busy. How did you get a boyfriend? What was that discussion like?

[Ginger Minj]

Um, the discussion happened.

[Nicole Byer]

Were you always open?

[Ginger Minj]

We. We've always been open.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Ginger Minj]

Um. And it's funny because the first time I met Michael, who was the boyfriend, was. He hates when I Tell this story. Was at the White party at Parliament House, which is where it. That used to be the drag race event of the year around the country, okay? You always knew who the top four were gonna be because they would always be booked there. And I happened to be booked there. It was me, Kennedy, Pearl, and Violet. And Michael took a picture with all of us at the meet and greet. But when he posted that picture, it was him, Pearl and Violet had cut me and Kennedy out completely. I didn't know him at this point. I knew who he was, but I didn't know him. And then a couple years later, he had worked at Universal with cj so that's how they knew each other. And we were all hanging out. Like, we had. We used to do game nights and stuff, and we were all hanging out at game night. And I friended him. And, you know, like, when you friend somebody, it will pull up, like, pictures or something. So that pulled up, and I was like, what is this?

[Nicole Byer]

What?

[Ginger Minj]

He was so embarrassed. I still will pull that picture out and be like this.

[Nicole Byer]

Remember, this is how you're making me feel. This is how you're making me feel. This is how you're making me feel.

[Ginger Minj]

And we ended up like. Kind of like C.J. and I, we just were theme park buddies, game night buddies. Hung out all the time during COVID During Christmas time, our youngest nephew got Covid. So the whole house got infected. And we had been out. It was right before All Stars 6. So I had been doing, like, promo stuff for that. Instead of going there, Michael was like, just come over to my apartment. Stay here through the holidays. So we're over there. One thing leads to another. And it was kind of the same situation where it was like, we're always together. All three of us are always together. And I love you. Do you love him? And he goes, yeah, I love him. Well, do you love us? He's like, yeah, I do. So we were like, okay, well, we can try it.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay. And it's been five years.

[Ginger Minj]

It's been five years. And my mom and my sister don't know, so I hope they're not watching. They have to know at this point.

[Nicole Byer]

Michael lives there.

[Ginger Minj]

He does. He does.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you all have separate rooms?

[Ginger Minj]

We all have separate. Well, no, C.J. and I have our. Like, our suite.

[Nicole Byer]

And then Michael has.

[Ginger Minj]

Michael has his room, and everybody else has their own rooms. But, I mean, every. People have this misconception all the time of like, oh, they're in a throuple. Oh, they might. Must fuck all the time. The sex. It's not even about that. I would tell you it's been a long time since the three of us have been in the same room.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you have a schedule or is it just free flowing?

[Ginger Minj]

It's free flowing okay, but it's also like few and far between. It's like any relationship, you know, once you settle into it, there's not much time.

[Nicole Byer]

I guess what I'm asking is like, do you have like a schedule for like date nights or do the three of you go on date nights together? We do care off at all.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah, I mean, it's just kind of like who's together at the time. So like Juju and I were on tour with CJ with Hocus Pocus Live, so we spent all of our time together. I mean, Juju's basically become the fourth at this point. She's my. My non sexual lover. And then right after that, CJ went home and Juju and I moved into an apartment and filmed that movie for a month. So while I was here, he and Michael were going, going to dinner, going to the theme parks, and doing what all three of us would be doing together if I was there. So I mean, what is good for one in the relationship is good for all. And we just have really open communication.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you ever feel stretched too thin between two people?

[Ginger Minj]

Only after my weight loss. Thank you, Dr. Leach. No, to be completely honest, no. I feel like it works better this way for me. I am autistic. I need my.

[Nicole Byer]

And you found out during a screening for All Stars 10.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah, I did. I mean, I've kind of always known, you know, and I would always go and do those like diagnose yourself online tests. And it was always like, you might want to go get the scene. But I thought that, I mean, masked it well enough that I didn't need to do that until I was doing my all stars 10 psych eval. And yes, you have to do a new one every season.

[Nicole Byer]

They're like, we gotta figure out if you're still okay.

[Ginger Minj]

Well, I had had the same woman for my first three seasons, but she had retired in that time. And there was this new guy who also happened to be one of the psychiatrists that they use on my 600 pound life. So he pops up and I'm like, I know who you are. He's like, how fun. I know who you are too. Now let's forget that and talk about this. So like halfway through, he just goes, I have to ask you a question and I don't want you to be offended. I just want to ask you. I said, okay. Said, are you autistic? Are you on the spectrum? And I was like, well, I'm sure I am. I'm self diagnosed. But he's like, like, I. I would really like you to go. He said, I, I think that you have issues with communication. And sometimes he said, even just in this interview right here, you have a hard time letting your guard down because everything feels very rehearsed. Ah. And he said, I can tell it's not, but I can also tell that you have played these scenarios, any possible scenario, out in your head many times because communication scares you. He's like, so I think you need to go and check it out. And if you are, try to learn some coping mechanisms on how to deal with that. Because if you're gonna be on this show again, especially as you're getting older and you know how the fan base reacts, I want you to take care of yourself and arm yourself well enough that you're gonna be able to compete. And of course, me, in my head, I'm turning it over. He doesn't want me to do this. He's not gonna approve.

[Nicole Byer]

Just going to a different place, Totally different place. Do you think the diagnosis helped with you being on television? And did it help with your relationships?

[Ginger Minj]

I think it's helped me all around. Like, even having this conversation with you right now, I feel more at ease than I probably ever have before. And I think I like that. I like it too.

[Nicole Byer]

It's nice to know what's going on. As soon as I got diagnosed with adhd, I was like. Like, ah, yes. Because I can say out loud to someone. I was nodding and I heard words. I did not take them in. Do you mind repeating?

[Ginger Minj]

So I. I'm autistic and I have adhd. And I mean, a lot of times those go hand in hand. And I'm very much the same way. And I would just find myself dissociating a lot. And you can actually see it on All Stars 10.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, really?

[Ginger Minj]

During Untucked for the Snatch Game episode, when Mistress keeps coming for me and she's trying to get me riled up. I had made a promise to myself and to my therapist that I was not going to allow any of the girls to get to me. For better or for worse, I wanted to do this competition for myself. Because I felt like the first three times I didn't. And I was like, you're not gonna get another chance. I mean, I say that every time, but I was like, this probably truly is your last shot at this. And whether you win or lose, I really want you talking to myself. I really want you to just enjoy the experience and just be the best that you can be. And the other seasons, I was so worried about what everybody else was wearing, what everybody else was doing, what everybody else was saying to my detriment. I would let people psych me out. I would psych myself out because of other people, and I didn't want that to happen. So I was purposely like blocking Mistress out as she's coming for me and coming for me and coming for me in that untucked. And you can see me completely just dissociate. I just go to another planet, just go away to the point where they called cut, which they never call cut it untucked. And the producers come over and they're like, are you okay? I'm like, huh? I'm great.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm fine.

[Ginger Minj]

I'm fantastic.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm fine. I'm in. I'm in a nice land where I'm protected.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah, well. And, and I'm also sober three years now, so going back to Drag Race, that's a completely different experience. Not having any kind of alcohol or anything. So there was a lot of, of, of things for me, but like, cosmically, it just felt like it was the time to make those changes, and it felt like it was the time, like if it was ever gonna happen, it was gonna be now. So there were several times during the season where the producers would be like, you good? Are you here? Are you here?

[Nicole Byer]

And you're like, now I am.

[Ginger Minj]

Now I am.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you have any advice for single people?

[Ginger Minj]

Just don't force it. I got into some really bad relationships or situationships or one night stands, whatever, including that very toxic 11 year relationship, because I was trying to force something I really desperately wanted. My whole mindset was being raised in my Southern Baptist household, being told that, you know, by this time in your life, you're married, by this time, you have children, by this time you've got your career, whatever that may be. And I was trying to take what life I wanted and force those other things on top of it. So I allowed people to take advantage of me. I allowed myself to be steered in directions I probably shouldn't have been. And I did a lot of things that I won't say I'm not proud of, because, like, even when I was a sex worker, I stand behind that. I did what I had to do, but I don't like the situation surrounding why I had to do that. You know what I mean?

[Nicole Byer]

That makes sense.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

It's like I did what I needed to do. I don't love the circumstances which led to that, but I did it.

[Ginger Minj]

But I did it. I acknowledged it and it happened, and I'm better because of it. Like, I don't regret anything in my past. But I also. I wrote in my book Southern Fried Sass, available now at all fine retailers. I wrote in my book that my ex had passed away a couple years ago. And immediately people started reaching out to me. I hadn't spoken to him in seven years. And all of these people who. When we broke up. Here's my autism. Everything is spinning all at once, and I'm trying to figure out exactly how to say and what to say. We were talking about how, like, some of the girls have gone on and made up shit about me, made up lies, and I don't fight it. That's because whenever I left him, he made up a bunch of lies about me. Basically, the things that he was doing to me, he said I was doing to him, like, abuse and everything. And the publicist I had at the time said, don't acknowledge it. This is immediately, like, after season seven starts. So I'm on season when all of this is going. We had been broken up for a little while, but he was waiting. He was waiting for that moment to strike where it would hurt me the most. And I didn't acknowledge it, which turned out to be the right thing at the moment because the fans didn't acknowledge it after that. Like, it died off after, like a week or so. So then flash forward to the end of this scene. Social media is a different beast than it was then. And with these girls making up stories about me and saying untrue things, I chose not to acknowledge it because I was like, you know what? That's their journey. It's what they're saying. Let them get their clicks and their likes. It'll go away if I just don't acknowledge it. That's not true. Because it's a different thing now. Now it's building. And every single time I'm. I post anything, whether they're there to tear me down about my body or call me a liar for something that I'm not even a part of it. It's overwhelming sometimes. So it's always trying to figure out where I am at mentally in my life and saying, okay, this is what I'm capable of and this is what I have the bandwidth for, and this is what I don't. And that's my very long way of saying don't. Don't get yourself into a situation where it's going to blow up on you and you're gonna be the one that's left to pick up the pieces just because you were willing to settle. I stopped looking, and I didn't find one. I found two.

[Nicole Byer]

I like that advice. Two people that stop looking, and you'll find not one, but two.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah. I mean, it's two people that. That love me unconditionally. It's two people that are as invested in my career as they are as me as a person, and two people I feel completely safe with. So I think that that never would have happened if I hadn't gone through all the things that I did. But I'm grateful. I never have to do that again.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that much.

[Ginger Minj]

Like Drag Race.

[Nicole Byer]

Never have to do it again.

[Ginger Minj]

Never have to do it again. But I'm grateful that it happened.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, Ginger, we've come to the end. No, I know. I could talk to you for hours. Here's a question.

[Ginger Minj]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Would you date me?

[Ginger Minj]

Mm. I've slid into your DMs before. I think you're beautiful. I think you're funny, and you got a higher profile than I do, so rye those coattails.

[Nicole Byer]

Ginger, do you have anything that you want to promote?

[Ginger Minj]

Well, like I said, my book, Southern Fried Sass is out there. It's been out for a couple years. People love it. It's my life story, set against 50 of my favorite recipes. Ooh. And that's also been an interesting journey, like food is my love language. So as I've reintroduced foods, I have found ways to take those recipes that I love so much and morph them into something that really works for me now. So if you've got the book and you're on this journey, too, reach out to me. I'll tell you exactly how to fix this.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that.

[Ginger Minj]

Jujubee and I are starring in Stop that Train, which comes out May 29th in theaters. In theaters.

[Nicole Byer]

Go to the theater.

[Ginger Minj]

It's a spiritual threequel to Wiccan. We're holding space for it.

[Nicole Byer]

Holding space for it.

[Ginger Minj]

And then other than that, like, Broadway's around the corner. Gotta figure out exactly how to make it work. But the negotiations are there, and we're getting that going. And Hocus Pocus Live will be back.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that. Well, if you like that episode of why won't you date me? You could like it, you can rate it, you can subscribe. Give me 5 stars on Apple podcasts. And if you write me something nasty hitting on me to why won't you date me? PodcastMail.com I will read it this person writes Dear Nicole, it's 2098 and this is the final battle of the cyber truck apocalypse. Those fugly ass trucks became our AI overlords and now, now they must die. I see you let out a war cry as you machine gun the final robots. I should shoot too. But I can't stop watching you. Your sonic dog tag necklace bounces on your titties with every shot, sweat trailing down your chest with heavy breath eventually disappearing between your beautiful glistening breasts. Nicole, I need you right now. You finish shooting and notice me looking. We lock eyes and suddenly we're kissing thing. We pause and look over at our ride. Your 1994 Mitsubishi 3000 GT. You say me on the car on this moderately priced normal car. Give it to me on the hood like they did back in the old days. I oblige, bending you over the hood and my God that ass is perfect. I pull my strap out. You. You know, I stay ready. No chat GPT, no maps app are needed here. I simply use my horned up lesbian instincts to navigate my dick into your dripping pussy. We fuck for hours on the hood of your beautifully normal car. From dusk till dawn, our orgasms shake the earth. These are the first glorious orgasms of an AI free world with admiration for the laughs and that ass. Bean tea. They them. Thank you. I don't know why the pronouns were there and I just said it.

[Ginger Minj]

Why not bean tea. Thank you.

[Nicole Byer]

I love this one. 1.

[Ginger Minj]

I love that too.

[Nicole Byer]

Isn't that fun?

[Ginger Minj]

I kind of want a graphic novel.

[Nicole Byer]

I would love a graphic novel. What? There.

[Ginger Minj]

I don't know if it could be more graphic than that.

[Nicole Byer]

Bean tea. If you draw, draw the novel.

[Ginger Minj]

Actually if you don't draw, draw the novel.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes, and send it to why won't you date me podcast gmail.com goodbye.

[Ginger Minj]

That was a headgum podcast.