Episode Summary

Podcast: Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer

Episode Title: Send Me Your Hole Pics
Guest: Angeria Paris VanMichaels
Release Date: October 10, 2025

Main Theme

Nicole Byer welcomes drag superstar Angeria Paris VanMichaels (winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 9) for a high-energy conversation about dating as busy, public-facing women, the complexity of love languages and relationship expectations, wild DMs, and how Drag Race fame has changed Angeria’s approach to love. The episode is brimming with humor, candid insights about modern queer dating, and plenty of NSFW laughs.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. DMs, Dick Pics, and Hole Pics

• Nicole and Angeria compare the nature of nudes they receive. Nicole prefers "no hole pics," joking that holes are "too much" unless that's what someone wants (01:14). Angeria replies she actually prefers hole pics — “I am an ass girl, okay? I’m an asshole kind of girl.” (07:08)
• Both reminisce about the wildest photos or messages received, including a fan who emailed Nicole not a dick pic, but a series of photos of himself eating a complex, self-described sandwich, complete with an absurdly long ingredient list. "This man is sick. He said, I want diabetes today, not tomorrow." (08:51)

2. Dating While Busy & Fame's Impact

• Angeria reveals she’s been single for six years, with dating falling by the wayside after Drag Race success. She was used to being the “clingy” partner, always wanting time and validation, but now finds it hard to balance her intense touring schedule with relationship needs. (05:09)
  • “I’ve always been the clingy one… then I got on Drag Race, and now my life became busy.” (05:09)
• Nicole relates, noting how unpredictable careers force you to take relationships less personally and just "focus on getting the bag." (13:56)

3. The Drag Origin Story

• Angeria recounts her beginnings: she started drag for fun on her birthday, looked like "Boo Boo the Fool" but loved the experience, and dove headfirst into performance despite early looks and performances being rough. (17:21)
  • “I did a show. It was terrible. I looked like Boo Boo the Fool… but it was just fun.” (17:34)
• Early drag “boot camp” with her drag queen roommates, doing makeup until 7 AM. (18:27)

4. Affection, Love Languages, and Relationship Red Flags

• Both hosts discuss needing open affirmation and quality time — "I need reassurance, I need someone who's not gonna mind giving it to me. Like. And it's not hard." (39:17)
• Angeria: "I'm a person that needs to be reassured by something. You not just gonna be a nonchalant lover with me." (24:43)
• They roast nonchalant or lukewarm post-date responses, especially the “emoji tapback,” agreeing it signals emotional laziness (27:58).

5. Expectations, Intentionality, and Situationships

• Angeria insists she now always states her intentions in dating to avoid “boyfriend things” with people who won’t commit:
  • “Don’t do boyfriend things unless you want me to be your boyfriend.” (43:57)
• Nicole shares her own history of being stuck in undefined relationships and wishing, in hindsight, she’d left sooner when the other wasn’t clear or reciprocating.
• They emphasize the importance of mutual excitement and not chasing people who don’t reciprocate energy. “You don’t want to win over your partner. You want someone who wants you.” (31:46)
• Both laugh at hetero and queer dating circles often being a “cat chasing a cat” situation, with nobody ever wanting the one who’s doing the chasing. (32:19)

6. Public Persona and Dating Apps

• Both Nicole and Angeria have been accused of catfishing on apps. The visibility from Drag Race leads to awkwardness — people overtly reference Angeria’s TV presence in flirty or sexual messages, which she finds a turn-off unless they "read the room" and wait until after hooking up to bring it up. (50:01, 52:47)
• Best-case scenario is when someone is aware and respectful, waiting until after the hookup to mention her fame. "He read the room, Mary. And he read the room." (52:47)

7. Being Single & Self-Love

• Angeria offers advice to singles: “Have fun being single, because being single is great… there is nothing like getting to know yourself.” (55:50)
• She encourages people to put themselves out there when they are ready, not just wait passively, using her own journey into Drag Race as inspiration for manifesting love. (57:06)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Dating Needs and Initiation:

• "My love language is fully, like, it’s words of affirmation, and it’s quality time... I need to be reassured at all times. It’s not gonna be words; I need it to be, like, full affection."
  — Angeria, (23:49)

• "Don’t do boyfriend things unless you want that’s not what you want me to be."
  — Angeria, (43:57)

On DMs and Fame:

• "If we’re talking about hooking up… Let’s just talk about hooking up."
  — Angeria, (54:33)

• "Are you a top or bottom? My mom loves you."
  — Nicole, (48:34)

On Self-Discovery and Manifestation:

• "Have fun being single, because being single is great… there is nothing like getting to know yourself."
  — Angeria, (55:50)

• "I said, I wanted to be on TV, I went after it, it worked. I want to be in a relationship, maybe that will work too."
  — Angeria, (57:06)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:07] — Nicole and Angeria on nudes, “I prefer hole pics... I’m an asshole kind of girl.”
• [08:51] — Nicole tells the story of the infamous sandwich guy email.
• [12:00] — Has dating changed for Angeria since Drag Race? “I wasn’t focused on it at all.”
• [18:00] — Angeria’s drag origin story: “I looked like Boo Boo the Fool… but it was just fun.”
• [23:49] — Deep dive on love languages: “My love language is words of affirmation and quality time.”
• [31:46] — The “cat and mouse” of queer dating: “Everybody’s the cat.”
• [43:57] — The pitfalls of undefined relationships: “Don’t do boyfriend things unless you want me to be your boyfriend.”
• [48:34] — The perils of being recognized on dating apps as a public figure.
• [52:47] — Angeria’s favorite hookup experience (“read the room”).
• [55:50] — Advice for single people: embrace and enjoy being single, but put yourself out there when ready.
• [57:06] — Manifesting love like career success.
• [58:01] — Nicole’s classic “Would you date me?” closer.

Tone, Style & Final Thoughts

The episode is quintessential Nicole Byer: fast, raunchy, heartfelt, and full of warm banter. Angeria Paris VanMichaels matches Nicole’s energy with humor and honesty about queer love, fame, and self-growth. Listeners leave with both laughs and genuinely practical advice about communicating with intention, honoring your needs, and embracing the unpredictable journey of loving — both yourself and others.

For fans and new listeners alike, this episode is a rollicking, NSFW, truth-telling exploration of single queer life in the spotlight — with enough quotables and wisdom to stick with you long after the laughs.