Wild Card with Rachel Martin: Aparna Nancherla Doesn’t Know Why She’s Here

Released July 24, 2025 | NPR | Host: Rachel Martin

Introduction

In this compelling episode of Wild Card, Rachel Martin delves deep into the psyche of comedian Aparna Nancherla, exploring her intricate relationship with anxiety, her introspective nature, and the unique perspectives she brings to her craft. Recognized as one of The New York Times Top 10 Podcasts of 2024, Wild Card breaks away from traditional interview formats, using a special deck of cards to navigate life's profound questions.

Personal Anecdotes and Family Stories

Aparna begins by sharing a heartwarming yet humorous family story that highlights her childhood sweet tooth and emotional expression. Reflecting on her early years, she recounts attending a holiday potluck at around four or five years old, where an abundance of desserts triggered a tantrum:

“I threw a huge tantrum, like rolling on the floor, literally, until my parents... I got a big takeout container of... literally a sample of each cake that was in the room.” (02:13)

This story not only illustrates her vivacious childhood spirit but also underscores a recurring theme in her life: achieving desires yet feeling an underlying sense of disappointment.

Navigating Anxiety in Comedy

Rachel adeptly frames Aparna as someone torn between the external demands of stand-up comedy and her internal battles with anxiety. Aparna candidly discusses how her anxiety is intricately woven into her comedic material, contributing to her role in the documentary Anxiety Club.

“When I started stand-up comedy... another comic approached me... he wrote some for you. And truly some of the worst jokes.” (04:44)

This early advice to incorporate her Indian heritage into her act was met with reluctance, leading Aparna to focus more on her personal experiences and internal observations. Over time, she has grown more confident in aligning her comedy with her true self rather than external expectations.

Insights: The Inner World of an Introvert

In exploring what Aparna is like when no one is around, she paints a vivid picture of her rich internal landscape:

“I think the funny thing about being an introvert... I'm like, I have so much to say. And I'm this huge personality and it's all... contained inside.” (14:31)

However, this internal abundance often leads to overwhelm, especially when transitioning from solitude to social interactions. Aparna likens her experience to the comic character Jean Grey from X-Men, overwhelmed by incessant thoughts and conversations in her head.

Fixations and Existential Musings

Aparna opens up about her fixations, particularly her preoccupation with existential questions and the fear of mortality:

“Why am I here? What am I doing?... it feels like we're all in a big play and like, nobody is. It's like nobody is acknowledging that we're all just kind of little pieces on a big board and none of this really matters.” (20:47)

These profound contemplations often lead to moments of paralysis in her daily life, such as difficulty responding to emails, highlighting the pervasive impact of her anxiety.

Beliefs and Moral Compass

When discussing her beliefs, Aparna reflects on the evolution of her moral understanding. Initially raised with clear ethical guidelines emphasizing honesty and honor, she now embraces a more nuanced perspective:

“I feel like my moral compass has shifted in the direction of, like, it's okay to be wrong and to readjust things that maybe you took for granted when you were younger.” (28:34)

This shift allows her to navigate complex moral landscapes with greater empathy and flexibility, moving beyond rigid black-and-white thinking.

Rage and Emotional Expression

Aparna candidly addresses her struggles with anger management, particularly how escalating rage manifests in private spaces like her car:

“I've started, like, screaming in my car. And I scare myself sometimes because I’m like, where did that sound come out of? It's not even road rage.” (33:27)

She speculates whether hormonal changes, such as perimenopause, contribute to this heightened anger, allowing long-suppressed grievances to surface.

Guiding Truths and Life Moments

Aparna concludes the conversation by sharing the truth that most profoundly guides her life: the significance of small, meaningful moments over grand achievements. She reminisces about a peaceful moment at a secluded waterfall with her now-separated partner:

“I just felt like such enormous peace and just like I could just stand there forever and would be fine if that was kind of it for me.” (36:08)

This emphasis on fleeting, intimate experiences underscores her pursuit of lasting peace over transient happiness.

Memory Time Machine: Lingering in Peace

As the episode wraps up, Aparna reflects on a cherished memory that encapsulates her quest for tranquility amidst chaos:

“One time we landed in front of sort of a secret little waterfall... I just remember standing in front of it and I just felt like such enormous peace...” (39:19)

This moment serves as a poignant reminder of the grounding power of nature and personal connections in her life.

Conclusion

Throughout this episode, Aparna Nancherla offers an unfiltered glimpse into her struggle with anxiety, her journey towards self-acceptance, and the delicate balance she maintains between her comedic persona and personal introspection. Rachel Martin skillfully navigates these themes using the Wild Card deck, allowing for a deeply personal and revealing conversation that resonates with listeners who seek understanding and connection.

For those interested in exploring more about Aparna’s approach to mental health and comedy, her contributions to the documentary Anxiety Club provide additional layers to her narrative.

Notable Quotes:

• Aparna Nancherla (02:13): “I threw a huge tantrum... I got a big takeout container of... literally a sample of each cake that was in the room.”

• Aparna Nancherla (14:31): “I'm like, I have so much to say. And I'm this huge personality and it's all... contained inside.”

• Aparna Nancherla (20:47): “Why am I here? What am I doing?... nobody is acknowledging that we're all just kind of little pieces on a big board.”

• Aparna Nancherla (28:34): “It's okay to be wrong and to readjust things that maybe you took for granted when you were younger.”

• Aparna Nancherla (33:27): “I've started, like, screaming in my car. And I scare myself sometimes because I’m like, where did that sound come out of?”

• Aparna Nancherla (36:08): “I just felt like such enormous peace and just like I could just stand there forever and would be fine if that was kind of it for me.”

Production Credits:

• Producer: Summer Tomad
• Editor: Dave Blanchard
• Mastered by: Patrick Murray
• Executive Producer: Yolanda Sangweni
• Theme Music: Ramtin Arablouei

Further Listening:

If you enjoyed this insightful conversation with Aparna, be sure to listen to Rachel Martin’s episode with actor and filmmaker Jesse Eisenberg, where he discusses channeling existential anxiety into creative endeavors. Available on the Wild Card NPR website.

Connect with Wild Card:

Reach out and share your thoughts at wildcard.npr.org. Stay tuned for more transformative conversations powered by the Wild Card deck.