David Sedaris

Summary

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Wild Card with Rachel Martin: David Sedaris (June 18, 2026)

Podcast: Wild Card with Rachel Martin (NPR)
Episode Guest: David Sedaris
Main Theme: Honest, unscripted discussion with essayist and humorist David Sedaris, exploring memory, family, marriage, humor, outsider identity, and what he’d like to teach younger generations—with his signature wit, warmth, and candor.

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Episode Overview

Rachel Martin welcomes David Sedaris—writer, essayist, and self-described observer of life's oddities—for a wide-ranging, card-prompted conversation. The discussion dips into family humor codes, the discomfort of certain words, moving to New York, gender and marriage, the value of complaining, and the complexities of being “inside” and “outside” cultures. Sedaris shares candid, often hilarious stories and deep personal reflections, offering listeners a joyful reminder of our messy, shared humanity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Language, Humor, and Sibling Dynamics

• Sedaris immediately objects to the word “snarky” to describe his writing, sparking playful banter about language preferences.
  • “I object to the word snark. I object to it. It doesn't apply to me.” – David Sedaris (01:58)
  • Sedaris and siblings share a comedic “code,” with forbidden words (“awesome,” “perfect”) that prompt mockery if used.
  • He critiques the corporate overuse of positivity language, especially “perfect” and Starbucks’ required cup messages.
    • “Once it’s like a corporate idea, it just takes all the fun out of it and it’s just dead to me.” (04:48)
  • Practical joking and humor as the family’s love language; stories about his brother’s public pranks and his sister Amy’s teasing (05:00).

Notable Moment:

• Sedaris’ family eschews bland, positive language.
  • “If one of us said [‘awesome’], the others would be like, what happened to you?” (03:10)

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2. Childhood Safe Spaces & Family Dynamics

• Rachel shares her childhood “safe place”—a pantry where she embraced faith and later a heated basement corner for private reflection and writing (07:00–08:30).
• Sedaris describes feeling safe at home, especially among siblings and his mother, despite having tics as a child.
  • Home as a place where his quirks drew less scrutiny, unlike from his father: “My father would be like, cut it out. Yeah, stop it. But my mother and the others…they wouldn’t give me any grief about it.” (09:27)
• He relates a tangent on how tics waned with age, speculates on undiagnosed childhood Tourette’s, and wittily segues to urban legend about regenerating nipples (10:31–12:17).

Notable Quote:

• “I don’t know where humor comes from...you just learn to edit and get a laugh.” (06:06)

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3. Big Moves & Taking Risks

• Sedaris recalls his most intimidating move: relocating to New York City after warming up in Chicago.
  • “The window opens, and you gotta be ready and jump through the window when it opens.” (13:05)
• He reflects on how leaving behind security (a rare teaching job) was scary but necessary for his creative development.
  • “Getting an apartment is like 90% of success in living in New York.” – Rachel Martin (15:28)
• His father’s disapproval was part motivator, part added doubt.

Memorable Reflection:

• “I could move anywhere. After that, I could move anywhere.” (16:05)
• Working as a Macy’s elf was humiliating but became formative material for later success (17:14).

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4. Partnership, Marriage, and Language

• Rachel probes Sedaris’ long relationship with Hugh, his spouse, leading to a comically fraught discussion of the word “husband”:
  • “I hate that one, too… He’s the person I married.” (20:16)
• Sedaris explains their “shotgun wedding,” arranged for banking and inheritance reasons, and why he’s still uneasy with marriage terminology.
  • “I wanted gay people to fight for the right to marry, and then not a single one of us to do it.” (22:21)
• Hugh’s inability to lie contrasted with Sedaris’ penchant for playful evasion.

Notable Insight:

• Sedaris’ love for travel keeps him from staying home long, which works well with Hugh’s independent routines (24:07–25:02).

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5. Complaints, Gripes, and Affirming Positives

• Asked what he loves to complain about, Sedaris identifies generational differences: older people complain because they remember alternatives.
  • “It’s because we can remember an alternative to whatever you put in front of us.” (25:11)
• He describes attempts to complain less about health and more about light jokes (hotel room lights, coffee on planes).
• Affirms the importance of expressing gratitude when moved to complain:
  • “I'm gay. I can create my own mood, thank you very much.” (26:22)
• Writes down observations in notebooks, e.g. a flight attendant who offers to “cook” coffee (27:05).

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6. Home, Comfort, and Rituals

• The sound of “The Archers” (long-running BBC radio soap) in the kitchen, played by Hugh while cooking, fills Sedaris with ease and gratitude (28:24–31:00).
  • “Him listening to the Archers means that he's making dinner. And again, means that I'm lucky, means that I have a home that he keeps.” (31:00)
• Hugh’s dedication to celebrating holidays and maintaining rituals embodies comfort and “home” for Sedaris.

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7. Outsider Identity: England, France, and Social Attitudes

• Sedaris feels most like an outsider in England (where he and Hugh spend half the year), but also recounts his experience as a “Yankee” growing up in North Carolina.
  • “The thinking in the UK, the way they think, is so fundamentally different from the way that we think.” (33:40)
• Contrasts American optimism and social mobility with British envy and skepticism.
  • “In America, if your next door neighbor has a Rolls Royce, you want one too. And in England…you want them to die in a fiery accident.” (34:00)
• Touches on the changing mood post-pandemic: a rise in American pessimism and feelings of structural unfairness.

Memorable Observation:

• “Nothing feels so good as making your way in another country.” (36:17)
• Coming back to America, he likens race relations to a “wet wool cape put on your back”—an always-present, heavy reality (37:11).

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8. The Past, Memory, and Creative Material

• Recurring question: is Sedaris preoccupied with past or future?
  • “Oh, I’m preoccupied with the past…because most of my life’s over.” (40:19)
• He can only write from experience; the past offers infinite creative material.
  • “That’s where my material is. My material’s not ahead of me. It’s all behind me.” (43:05)
• Finds that anger and regret from the past can fuel productivity—even cleaning!

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9. Recurring Symbols & Avoidances

• Turtles as recurring symbols in his writing and life, but also a (comic) aversion: “What if I hit a turtle with my car?” He’s never learned to drive partly for this reason (44:22–45:53).

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10. Lessons for Younger Generations & The Value of Work

• Sedaris urges younger people to see the “sum total” of a person’s life, not make snap judgments based on current circumstances.
  • “When you’re younger…you don’t imagine an older person having a life really.” (47:02)
  • Rachel: “It is worth the time to think of the sum total of a person and not just this one experience or this one judgment.” (48:11)
• Emphasizes that hard work creates opportunity, and although he got a late start, work and perseverance yielded joy.
  • “Unless you do the work, it’s not gonna happen for you…The pleasure it can bring you…I think is profound.” (50:24)
• Despite “snark,” Sedaris affirms—“I am [optimistic]. And that’s a good quality.”_ (51:02)

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Most Memorable Moment

If he could relive any moment:

• “I am a senior in high school. It is an October afternoon. It’s perfect fall weather. And I brought the stereo…outside into the backyard and plugged it in. And I’m listening to Phoebe Snow’s first album, and I’m raking leaves, and it is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life…I wish I could go back and linger there.” (52:03)

The simplicity and possibility of youth, set to music and a perfect fall day, remains his most treasured memory.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “I want you to pull that [‘snarky’] from your vocabulary and never use it again.” —David Sedaris (01:47)
• “If one of us said [‘awesome’], the others would be like, what happened to you?” —David Sedaris (03:10)
• “Once it’s like a corporate idea, it just takes all the fun out of it and it’s just dead to me.” —David Sedaris (04:48)
• “The window opens, and you gotta be ready and jump through the window when it opens.” —David Sedaris (13:05)
• “I just feel like I’m in a rut [if I’m home too long].” —David Sedaris (24:12)
• “It’s because we can remember an alternative to whatever you put in front of us.” —David Sedaris (25:11)
• “He puts a lot of effort into us having a home or seven homes.” —David Sedaris (31:50)
• “The thinking in the UK, the way they think, is so fundamentally different from the way that we think.” —David Sedaris (33:40)
• “That’s where my material is. My material’s not ahead of me. It’s all behind me.” —David Sedaris (43:05)
• “When you’re younger…you don’t imagine an older person having a life really.” —David Sedaris (47:02)
• “Unless you do the work, it’s not gonna happen for you.” —David Sedaris (50:24)
• “And I just had my whole life ahead of me, and I didn’t know, you know, I knew what I hoped, you know, it would be. I just wanted people to know my name. I wanted that so bad.” —David Sedaris (54:40)

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• 00:18 – Sedaris objects to "snarky"
• 02:46 – Shared sense of humor and family “word bans”
• 06:06 – Humor origins and storytelling in a large family
• 07:03 – Rachel and David discuss their childhood safe spaces
• 09:27 – Living with tics, family reactions
• 13:05 – Moving to New York: risk and reward
• 20:14 – Dissecting the word "husband" and Sedaris’ approach to marriage
• 25:11 – Complaining as generational wisdom
• 28:24 – The comfort of Hugh, "The Archers," and home rituals
• 33:40 – Outsider status, American vs. British optimism
• 40:19 – Preoccupation with the past vs. future
• 44:22 – Turtles, driving, and personal mythology
• 47:02 – What he wishes young people understood about age and humanity
• 52:03 – Best moment: autumn, leaves, Phoebe Snow, and possibility

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Summary Tone

The conversation is wry, thoughtful, and deeply personal, brimming with Sedaris’ unique blend of witticisms, self-deprecation, sharp observation, and unexpected poignancy. Rachel Martin’s playful, probing interview style elicits honest reflections and stories rarely voiced aloud. This episode is a tapestry of insight and humor—a celebration of eccentricity, memory, and what it means to be human.

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Transcript

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[Rachel Martin]

Are you preoccupied with the past or the future?

[David Sedaris]

Oh, I'm preoccupied with the past. I mean, I thought when I was young that when you got to be 69, you would give anything to be young again. And when you're 69, you say, thank God I'll be dead in 20 years because I don't know how much more of this I can take, you know?

[Rachel Martin]

I'm Rachel Martin and this is Wild Card, the show where cards control the conversation. Each week my guest answers questions about their life. Questions pulled from a deck of cards. They're allowed to skip one question and to flip one question back on me. My guest this week is David Sedaris.

[David Sedaris]

And I just had my whole life ahead of me and I didn't know, you know, I knew what I hoped it would be. I just wanted people to know my name. I wanted that so bad.

[Rachel Martin]

I don't know where I was when I first heard David Sedaris reading his essays on the radio, but I remember feeling like I was witnessing something revolutionary. He was snarky, hilarious, but also big hearted. His essay called Santaland Diaries was about the indignities of working as a Christmas elf at Macy's. He read that essay on NPR in 1992 and it jump started his career as one of this country's greatest observational humorists. To me, his books have always felt like a big old love letter to the messiest parts of being human. His newest collection of essays is called the Land and Its People. And I am so very glad to welcome David Sedaris to Wildcard. Hi.

[David Sedaris]

Hello. Thank you so much for having me. I'm objecting to the word snarky. You are? Yeah. I want you to pull that from your vocabulary and never use it again.

[Rachel Martin]

That's a true statement. I stand by it.

[David Sedaris]

Really?

[Rachel Martin]

There's some snark, David.

[David Sedaris]

No, I object. I object to the word snark. I object to it. Sometimes during Q and A when I'm doing a show, someone will say, I have a question about journaling. And I say, I want you to write down. I say, I give the date and I say, I want you to remember this. It's the last time you're going to use the word journal as a noun. I mean, as A verb. Okay. Yeah. And this is. I don't know. I just want you to reconsider. Do you use snark? Yeah. It's not a word.

[Rachel Martin]

It is a word.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah, but it's not a good one. It doesn't apply to me.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay, so the first round is about memories. Okay. Okay. First three cards. 1, 2 or 3, 2, 2. How similar are you to your siblings?

[David Sedaris]

How similar am I to my siblings? Very.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Are you?

[David Sedaris]

All of us find the same things funny, and all of us. Tend to dislike the same thing. You know, like, none of us use a word that would ever say, that's awesome. You know, like, none of us would ever. And if one of us said it, the others would be like, what happened to you?

[Rachel Martin]

Well, you can't say awesome. You can't say snark or awesome.

[David Sedaris]

There's a long list of things you can't say. A physical list, you know, and things go on the list all the time. Sometimes something new pops up and it's on the list by in no time, you know, just a brand new word or phrase that popped up.

[Rachel Martin]

There is a little bit in your book about the word perfect.

[David Sedaris]

Oh, my goodness.

[Rachel Martin]

You don't like the word perfect. Your siblings also don't like the word perfect.

[David Sedaris]

No, no. I said to a hotel clerk, and I didn't mean to be a jerk about it, but I said, you've said perfect seven times. They do it without thinking, right? But they're told in a hotel that if they say, okay, that's not positive enough. So they have to say perfect. And it's the corporatization of it.

[Rachel Martin]

Like an example, like you would say, I'm gonna check out early. They'll be like, perfect. It's perfect. It's perfect.

[David Sedaris]

Perfect.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, perfect.

[David Sedaris]

It's like at Starbucks right now, they have to write a message on your cup. And if someone felt like writing a message on your cup, that could be interesting, right? But they have to do it. And so I said to someone a while ago, I said, you don't have to write on my cup. And she said, yes, I do. And I said, then write die already. And she said, I can't do that. I said, I have terminal cancer. I said, it would be a blessing. She still wouldn't do it. But you know what I mean? Once it's like a corporate idea, it just takes all the fun out of it and it's just dead to me.

[Rachel Martin]

There's also a bit in your book. Was it your brother who put. What was it, like a sign on your back when you were walking through

[David Sedaris]

the airport, Asked me about being gay?

[Rachel Martin]

Yes.

[David Sedaris]

He hugged me goodbye. My brother's such a practical joker. He hugged me goodbye, and I walked through the. Well, I was getting into a car. Oh. In front of six of my neighbors in New York a couple weeks back, and my sister Amy yelled, hey, David, good luck with the operation. You're going to love having breasts. And then all during the ride, I thought. I wasn't, like, ashamed that the driver thought I wasn't embarrassed that the driver thought that I was transitioning, but I thought, what kind of breasts would I get? Because I don't. Never occurred to me, would I want large ones or would I. Would I say, you know, what I've got is, let's just shave the ones I have now?

[Rachel Martin]

I mean, your family gatherings must be such a good time. And you are very lucky to share a sense of humor. I mean, you are like, lots of things.

[David Sedaris]

I'm terribly lucky. I'm very aware of it, too.

[Rachel Martin]

Is that. I mean, you had a very contentious relationship with your dad. You love your mom. Was she funny? I mean, did it all stem from her? Did she cultivate it?

[David Sedaris]

I don't know where humor comes from, but, I mean, my mother was very funny. But when there were six kids, you know, at the end of the school day, you're trying to get a little attention, right? And so you learn pretty quickly that if you tell a long, boring story, then someone's gonna interrupt you or cut you off. So you just learn to edit and get a laugh. Yes.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, my God. There's not enough editing in General. Okay, next.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

3.

[Rachel Martin]

12 or 31 1. Where would you go when you wanted to feel safe as a kid?

[David Sedaris]

I'll turn that on you.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Oh, look at you.

[Rachel Martin]

Well, two places. I mean, I don't know if I went on a regular basis, but I have memories of feeling safe in these places. Are you taking notes?

[David Sedaris]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

One, I lived in a very religious household, and there was a real pressure to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. And when I did this, I was in the pantry, sitting on the flower, plastic thing that held the flower. And I remember doing this religious tradition in that pantry. And then it just kind of felt like a safe place after that. So after I ordained myself a Christian, I would just go in the pantry all the time and shut the door. And it felt, you know, with the canned tomatoes, whatever, it felt like a special reprieve from chaos. And the other place I went when I was older, I had got my own Room in the basement. And there was a heater, like, attached to the wall. I'm sure it was an electrical hazard that you could really crank up really hot. And I would have one of those pillows that has arms, you know, it has a back and it has a couple arms. And I would put that little pillow down in this corner and situate it right in front of that heater, and I would just crank that heat up and I would just sit there and sort of hide from my siblings and write notes to boys that I would never give them and kind of dream. And I also remember feeling quite safe in that little corner of my room. And you. What you got?

[David Sedaris]

I was in Canada a few weeks ago doing a show in a theater, and there was a man with a rainbow striped pin on that said, you are safe with me. So he was like a roving, safe space. Right? And I'm like, how unsafe is a gay person at my show? Right. In Canada, Right. But he was a roving.

[Rachel Martin]

I don't know if someone's advertising it. I almost. I recoil a little bit.

[David Sedaris]

I did, too.

[Rachel Martin]

The skeptic in me is like, are you?

[David Sedaris]

I did too. It just felt like everything that was wrong with the world, a roving, safe space. But you have the best. Because you felt safe in Christ's bosom, is what I was hearing there.

[Rachel Martin]

I did as a child. I did feel safe in.

[David Sedaris]

I felt safe at home.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[David Sedaris]

I mean, I just had. I mean, I was a mess, right? I was. I would this with my eyes and this with my head, and so I just. I've.

[Rachel Martin]

Wait, you had a tick?

[David Sedaris]

Oh, my God. I had like half a dozen of them. I was a mess. But at home, my father would be like, cut it out. Yeah, stop it. But my mother and the others, I don't know why they didn't. Anyway, so I felt safe with them because they wouldn't give me any grief about it, you know? Or I could just be in my room and just do it to my. You know, to my.

[Rachel Martin]

Wait, can I ask, did you have Tourette's?

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

I don't know.

[David Sedaris]

There were six kids. You don't get taken to a doctor for anything. You don't. You know what I mean? Which actually, I think is kind of a good way to do it. Right. You know, because otherwise. Well, I can't really speak to it because I would have been on medication and this and that, but. And maybe that would have done me loads of good, but I don't know. Just stop it.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[David Sedaris]

You know, and it went away. And then later I wrote something about it and I was contacted by someone who said, like, it was a form of juvenile Tourette's, you know, that you kind of grow out of. I noticed when I started smoking that a lot of that went away. And then this doctor said, yeah, that makes sense too.

[Rachel Martin]

But I mean, cigarettes.

[David Sedaris]

I don't know, though, about. I don't. A woman came to me at a book signing last week. She went to a book signing with her 15. I mean, she went to her 15 year old son to the DMV to get his driver's license. And the woman at the desk said, no, ma', am, you are not coming in here with those protruding nipples. And she said, what? And she said she had a bra on, but the woman at the DMV said, your nipples are protruding, you can't come in. So she went and she bought a T shirt at a strip mall. And her son was so embarrassed, she said, I wanted to call. Call Eyewitness News because everyone should know that this is happening. Right. But she didn't want to embarrass her son further. Anyway, please tell me how this ties in. I said to her, if I were you, I would have said to the woman, that's. I understand completely. Do you have a pair of scissors? I could bar and I would just cut my nipples off, right? And then say, now can I come in? But. And I said that on stage. And then someone came and said, you know, your nipples are the only part of your body that regenerate. It's like a lizard's tail. And. And so I told the audience that the next night. And a doctor came and said, no, they don't. I was so naive to believe what somebody said to me. It's not true at all. I would have gone through the rest of my life believing that nipples regenerate. Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

I don't know how that ties into the safe space you went to when you were a child, but it's a damn good story. So we're just going to leave it there.

[David Sedaris]

Jesus. Bosom.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, Jesus. That's why you're good. Okay, last one in this round. 1. 2 or 3?

[David Sedaris]

3.

[Rachel Martin]

3. What was your most intimidating move?

[David Sedaris]

Move. Physical move?

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[David Sedaris]

Moving to New York City.

[Rachel Martin]

When? Where are you? How old are you?

[David Sedaris]

I went to the New York City. I went to this Greek American summer camp one year. And so we flew to New York and then I went to Greece from there. But I had a godfather who lived outside of New York, and he took my sister, my older sister, and me Into Manhattan, right, To show us what a hellhole it was. And I was like, I need to live in this hellhole. And then I got posters of the skyline, and then it was just about New York. And when I moved to New York. But the thing is, you know, I'd known people who moved to New York too soon, and then they just couldn't make it, you know, and then they had to go home with their tail between their legs. So the window opens, and you gotta be ready and jump through the window when it opens. So I moved to Chicago first because I thought, well, that's a good halfway point, and that's a good place to build up. And in Chicago, you know, my sister Amy, she followed me there, and then she started at Second City and, you know, you could get a theater for next to nothing and put on a show. And my friends and I put on these silly shows and I started reading out loud. And then the window opened and I dove through it and I had a job teaching at the Art Institute.

[Rachel Martin]

That was the window. Someone offered you a teaching job?

[David Sedaris]

No, I had the teaching job. Oh, in Chicago you had the teaching job? And I didn't deserve it. You know, I never went to graduate school, but they offered me a job teaching creative writing anyway, so I felt kind of fraudulent, but I was. And it was a real job, and I left it knowing I'd never get another one. But the window opened.

[Rachel Martin]

What was the window like? What was the point?

[David Sedaris]

There was a fellow who I knew in Chicago who. Who had a two bedroom apartment in the West Village, and he had been subletting it and he was gonna move back there. And he asked if I wanted to be his roommate. And my half of the rent would be $350. And I just felt like professionally, you know, I'd been doing. I started reading out loud in Chicago, and I felt like I'd hit the ceiling there. And it was time. And so all the signs were there, and I just went. And I was, you know, if I had the wherewithal, I would have maybe had more money, you know, saved up, or I would have had some kind of a job lined up. But the window was open and it might have closed if I didn't act right now. So I act.

[Rachel Martin]

Getting an apartment is like 90% of success in living in New York.

[David Sedaris]

And. But, I mean, part of it too was my father. They're gonna eat you alive, you idiot. This is the only decent job you're ever gonna have in your life, and you're leaving it behind. You were gonna regret this. Didn't that make you wanna just do it even more? It did, but it was just that chorus in the back of your. You know, you've already got your doubts and stuff, but the last thing you need is that added to it. But I've. And after that, I could move anywhere.

[Rachel Martin]

Right. You know, so when you got there, how long did it take you to actually, like, were there points where you thought, oh, I don't know if I am gonna cut it, or did you find work and a foothold pretty early?

[David Sedaris]

I was there for about a month and I, you know, had a budget of $7 a day and I found a job at Macy's as an elf, you know, but it didn't start until the day after Thanksgiving. And in retrospect, yeah, in retrospect, it was the best job I ever had. Right. But at the time, it was pretty tough because he had moved to New York and people are like, he's an elf. He moved to New York and he's an elf. Like, it just was so humiliating. Right. But it. Did you watch the Comeback, Lisa Kudrow's show? Oh, no. It's one of the best things ever on tv.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Is it?

[David Sedaris]

And there was three seasons of it. And in one of the episodes, somebody said, I've just watched you being humiliated over and over. And she said, oh, no, it takes two people to be humiliated. I never signed up for it.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[David Sedaris]

So I sort of felt that way. Like if you write and something humiliating happens or something degrading happens, it's just like somebody handing you money. Right. Right. I mean, I know people, and if they're. Someone insults them, you know, it ruins their day, their week, their month. But to me, I feel grateful for it because it's it. I can write about it. Yeah. And I can get a laugh out of it. And it's like someone handed me money.

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[Rachel Martin]

let's pull out of the game for a few minutes and talk about your new book. Congratulations. So in this book, readers get a sense of you, I would say most acutely in relationship with other people. Like, there's a lot of you in relationship with your very close friends from present, from past. Your sisters, especially Amy and Gretchen, and Hugh, who we shall call your person. Nope. You're probably gonna hate that one, too.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah, I hate that one, too.

[Rachel Martin]

Hate that one, too. Okay.

[David Sedaris]

He's the person I married.

[Rachel Martin]

He's the person you marry.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah. So we should just dispense with this. Hugh is legally your husband.

[David Sedaris]

I don't know that word. I don't know.

[Rachel Martin]

It's not part of your.

[David Sedaris]

I don't know that word.

[Rachel Martin]

Your lexicon.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

You've been with this human for a long time now.

[David Sedaris]

I think 36 years.

[Rachel Martin]

God, that's a long time. And in the. You write about getting married. You can say that. You can say married, but you did it in secret. Why?

[David Sedaris]

It was a shotgun wedding. It was just arranged by our banker to save money on inheritance stuff. So that's the only reason we did it. And I didn't tell anybody about it because I don't, you know, I didn't want people saying, is that your husband? But then people just started assuming it. So people started saying it anyway. Everybody, right? So I thought, well, I might as well make some money off of it. So I wrote about it. I wrote about it. And Hugh's mother, when the story came out in the New Yorker, sent us a dozen roses. And I thought, what are those for? And then I realized, oh, oh, oh, right, we're married. And then people started saying, congratulations. And I said, for what? And I thought, oh, right, we're married.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay, so what's your issue? What's your issue with the word husband? What's your. I mean, I don't really care about marriage.

[David Sedaris]

If you said to me, my husband loves driving drunk, you know, then it would be. I'd be like, wow, tell me more. Right? But if you were a man and you said, my husband likes to drive drunk, I would think, well, I hope he gets in an accident. And that's one less husband in the world. I wanted gay people to fight, fight for the right to marry, and then not a single one of us to do it. I thought that would have been remarkable, right, to say, I spit on your marriage.

[Rachel Martin]

I want the right, the availability to do it. And I also don't need.

[David Sedaris]

Feels like you're giving it. Like my husband. Well, I was on the phone with my husband this morning, and for some reason, my voice.

[Rachel Martin]

Why are you falling?

[David Sedaris]

I know it. My voice always goes to that, you know, my husband. All I know is my husband loves me. Like, I just. That's the voice in my head when I hear the word husband.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay. And Hugh, your person that you married's name is Hugh?

[David Sedaris]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Is he agnostic? He doesn't care either way. Does he introduce you as his husband?

[David Sedaris]

No. God, he would never. No, no, no. That's one of the reasons we're together.

[Rachel Martin]

Right.

[David Sedaris]

You know, I mean, we agree about things like that. He didn't tell anybody either. But the difference is that Hugh. I've never met anything like it. Anyone like him, and that Hugh is incapable of lying. And so if someone said to Hugh, are you two married? He would say, is it gonna snow? Is it gonna. He could change the subject, but he could not say, oh, no, we're not married. We just live together. And. Easiest thing in the world for me to say that, but it was a real struggle for him. So he doesn't have to lie, you know, he doesn't have to evade anymore. He's just so.

[Rachel Martin]

You've been traveling for so much of your life. I mean, every time you write a book, you go on a tour, it seems like you. I mean, you don't have to do this. I know it helps to sell books, but it does seem like you're out in the world in front of audiences, reading and reading and reading and engaging with people for decades.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah. I don't like to be home for more than a few days.

[Rachel Martin]

Really?

[David Sedaris]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

How come?

[David Sedaris]

Just feels I get tired of my office or. Everything just seems the same to me, you know, I Just feel like I'm in a rut. And he will say, you've been home five days.

[Rachel Martin]

So he'll know that. He'll be like, it's time for you to go. You gotta get out.

[David Sedaris]

He resentful or is he just the opposite? He doesn't like being uprooted and being moved somewhere else. He doesn't. I mean, he doesn't go on tour with me, but he, you know, his mom is in poor health, so he goes to Kentucky a lot, and then he has to go. Then there'll be something going on in England, he's gotta go there. Or something going on in France, and he's gotta go there. And so he bounces around a lot, too. He just doesn't do it as cheerfully as I do.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, but it still fills your cup. Sounds like.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Round two. This round is called Insights. Okay, One, two or three?

[David Sedaris]

Two, two.

[Rachel Martin]

What do you enjoy complaining about?

[David Sedaris]

Oh, my goodness, what a silly question. Wow. I love complaining. And I realized a while ago that, you know, I thought, gosh, why do older people complain? And it's because we can remember an alternative to whatever you put in front of us. Right. So I remember a time when people didn't have cell phones, so therefore they weren't watching TV on their phone without headphones on. Right. Whereas a younger person grew up with that. So they don't remember anything. They don't remember it being any different.

[Rachel Martin]

But, like, one of your opening chapters is you complaining about the fact that Hugh has to have some kind of surgery and can't cook for you.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah, well, that was a real complaint. I mean, he. Well, like, physical. Also, when you get to be a certain age, you know, the organ recital, you know, when you get together with people and it's like, my back hurts, my kidneys hurt, my. You know, you don't want to get into that either. That's no fun. So you avoid that.

[Rachel Martin]

You avoid the health stuff.

[David Sedaris]

And a lot of times when I start complaining, I think, oh, I just sound old.

[Rachel Martin]

Right.

[David Sedaris]

So I try not to complain about those things.

[Rachel Martin]

Right. Make your complaints make you seem young. That's, I think, a good.

[David Sedaris]

But I've never, you know, whenever I complain about something, I think, okay, I'm going to go down to my hotel and I'm going to tell them, excuse me, you told me that my room was recently remodeled. I'd like to say I'm so grateful that the lights are just on a switch. It's not a master switch where all the lights come on. Right. Or they have predetermined moods. I'm gay. I can create my own mood, thank you very much. Right. I know what lights to turn on and what ones to leave off. So I thought. So I try to do that.

[Rachel Martin]

You try to affirm the positive when you find yourself wanting to.

[David Sedaris]

I'm in a situation and I say, yesterday, my flight attendant, I said, can I. Can I get you something to drink? And I said, I'll have some coffee. And she said, do you have any made? She said, no, but I'll cook you some. And I thought, that is so nice. I'll cook you some coffee.

[Rachel Martin]

Wait, what are you writing down right now?

[David Sedaris]

I forgot to write it in my notebook yesterday. I'll cook you some. That's how she said it. And when I got off, I said, you cook coffee. Good.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay, next. 3. 12 or 3 1. 1. What's an irrational fear you can't shake. How much fear do you have in your life? Do you have an irrational one?

[David Sedaris]

An irrational fear that I can't shake. Irrational. I think all of my fears are pretty rational. I'll skip it.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah. I love that your fears are rational, though. Okay. Okay. I'll just let you pick from these two. One, two, two, two. What's a sound that instantly puts you at ease?

[David Sedaris]

A leaf blower. What's a sound that puts me at ease?

[Rachel Martin]

It's an earnest.

[David Sedaris]

The Archers. The Archers is a soap opera that's been playing on the BBC for, what is it, 70 years now? And it takes place in a small farming community, and Hugh listens to the Archers and the sound that's.

[Rachel Martin]

Can you even really watch it?

[David Sedaris]

Oh, it's on the radio.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, it's on the radio. Oh, my gosh, you guys are so.

[David Sedaris]

And every episode is, what, 15 minutes long?

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[David Sedaris]

And it takes place in this little farming community, and the sound of Hugh in the kitchen listening to the Archers makes me feel lucky whenever I hear it, because there's no cursing on the Archers. Nobody ever. There aren't murders on the Archers. It's all pretty gentle stuff, right? Like, somebody will decide not to get their dog spayed, you know? And that's like, oh, my goodness. You know, it's a big scandal, and it's right up. And it's right up Hugh's alley, you know? Like, Hugh doesn't want to, like, watch a movie that's violent. I do. To me, a gun makes a movie, Right. Throw a gun in there. Let's liven things up. But it's very suited to his nature, and it just Makes me feel lucky that that's a good time for him is sitting, you know, standing in the kitchen, and he'll happily spend three hours making dinner. He doesn't care, you know? And so he's in there, and if we're in England, we have a fireplace in the kitchen and he's got a fire going in there. And it just feels really. It's just exactly my idea of a home, you know? Yeah. We eat dinner with candles on the table and we eat at the table. Like, we've never. The only time we're allowed to eat in front of the TV is when the Academy Awards are on. And we've never eaten over the sink, and we've never. I don't know. It's always an event. It always feels like an event. He's not a snob cook. Like, he doesn't put foam on things or. He's the best cook. Most people I know know.

[Rachel Martin]

Wow. Lucky you.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah, no, I'm very lucky that way. And him listening to the Archers means that he's making dinner. And again, means that I'm lucky, means that I have a home that he keeps. I don't mean that he's a homemaker, but he is. You know, he's. He, like, at Christmas, you know, we always have big stacks of gifts. He makes cookies every year. You know, he decorates a tree. He Thanksgiving. It's all of those things. He does them and he puts his back into it and he. I know. It's so easy for people. And they say, well, no, you get a Christmas tree, then you gotta take it down.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, my God.

[David Sedaris]

No, it is not easy as a

[Rachel Martin]

person who does that. In my family, it's not.

[David Sedaris]

No.

[Rachel Martin]

It takes a lot of effort to make.

[David Sedaris]

He puts a lot of effort into us having a home or seven homes, you know.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay, last one in this round. 1, 2 or 3?

[David Sedaris]

2, 2.

[Rachel Martin]

When do you feel most like an outsider?

[David Sedaris]

When do I feel most like an outsider? I feel most like an outsider in. Well, in England, you know, where we live half the year.

[Rachel Martin]

Right.

[David Sedaris]

Because I am an outsider, but I grew up in North Carolina, but my family moved from western New York State when I was in second grade. And so back then, all the newscasters had accents and everyone on the radio had an accent. And if you didn't have an accent, you were a Yankee, Right? That's what you're called, a Yankee. And you know, when you win the war, you don't ever. You don't think about it again. You know, it's only when you lose that. You dwell on it. So we moved to a place where people were still sore about the Civil War. You know, you could get beaten up and called a Yankee. So I grew up in that environment, so it felt normal to me. So when I moved, you know, we moved to France, and then we moved to England, and then in France, everyone just thought you were on vacation. I remember went to the hardware store and the guy said, are you on vacation? And I was like, I've been coming here for four years. That would be a really long vacation. And in England, it's not that you're on vacation so much. And so you're really. But you're an.

[Rachel Martin]

It's not a language barrier.

[David Sedaris]

No, but there's a thought barrier. The thinking in the uk, the way they think is so fundamentally different from the way that we think.

[Rachel Martin]

Say more.

[David Sedaris]

I really think that there are. It's a culture of envy that we didn't. I'm seeing here post pandemic, but I didn't really notice it before the pandemic. I didn't notice how. I mean, I've said this a trillion times and I heard someone else say it, and I don't remember who, but in America, if your next door neighbor has a Rolls Royce, you want one too. And in England, if your next door neighbor has a Rolls Royce, you want them to die in a fiery accident.

[Rachel Martin]

That seems harsh.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah, but it's a really fundamentally different way of thinking. Right. And it suggests that you can't better yourself, whereas actually your chances of improving your social situation are better in England than they are in America. But British people don't believe it, and Americans do believe it. Delusionally do. Delusionally do, but not. I feel like the pandemic changed a lot of that. And then you started seeing more just sort of people feeling stuck and people feeling like, it's not fair, you know, because it used to be, oh, if you work, you can have what that person has. But now I feel people thinking like, well, no, I am working. And I'm not getting that. It's something. It's more than that.

[Rachel Martin]

That's the system. There's something structural.

[David Sedaris]

And so I feel that changing in America, and it really had a lot to do with America being a beautiful place, was optimism. And Europeans will make fun of American optimism. But I always thought like, well, make fun all you want. It's a really nice quality. It's a nice quality to believe in the future, and it's a nice quality to feel to see your place in it. You know, and I hate seeing that diminishing. Dim, you know.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah,

[David Sedaris]

downer, downer.

[Rachel Martin]

But they still like you in England. I'm sure you still do book readings and sell books.

[David Sedaris]

You know, I've been very fortunate to have a show on the radio, on the BBC for, I don't know, 10 years or so.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

So they've let you in, sort of. They've let you into their club.

[David Sedaris]

You know, that was the thing. Living in France, there wasn't a place for me. And then I started going to the uk. I started going to England, and they said, we'll just scoot down and make a place for you. You know, like, oh, you want to write for the newspapers? Sure, we'll just scoot down. You want to be on the radio? Sure, we'll just scoot down a little bit. And it really made me feel welcome and appreciated, and it feels. Nothing feels so good as making your way in another country, you know, because they've got their own people to read and, you know, funny. I mean, come on, you know, I mean, they're pretty funny. Born that way, Right?

[Rachel Martin]

I know.

[David Sedaris]

And they don't need me at all. And so I just so appreciate them.

[Rachel Martin]

Although every time you succeed there, there's somebody who wants.

[David Sedaris]

But see, the thing is. The thing is, though, when you're. I feel like when you're an American and you come back to America and you go to customs, there's a cape, a wool cape soaked in water, and they say welcome home, and they put it on your back, and that is race relations in America. And you forgot what it was like not to wear it, but now it's on your back again and you're back in the United States. Right. And, like, the class stuff in England, I can walk down the center of. It's not my game, you know, and so I'm excluded from it in a lot of ways as well. So it's really nice. It would be like, in France, I didn't have any beef, you know, like, there's tension between, you know, French people and Arabs, but wasn't my thing, you know? And when I would go into, like, an Algerian market or whatever, once I heard my accent, they were like, great, welcome in. You know, and so, again, it wasn't my thing. Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay.

[David Sedaris]

On that note, I said, welcome in. I hate welcome in.

[Rachel Martin]

Did you just say it?

[David Sedaris]

I said, welcome in. And I was.

[Rachel Martin]

It's a whole thing in your book

[David Sedaris]

how you hate when people say welcome in. I know it. I said. And they wouldn't say it either. They wouldn't say it either. Welcome in.

[Rachel Martin]

It just was in your head.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah, I guess it was in my head. Oof. I gotta clean my head out.

[Rachel Martin]

You really do. Snarky. Snarky head. Okay.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

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[Rachel Martin]

Beliefs 1, 2 or 3?

[David Sedaris]

1.

[Rachel Martin]

Are you preoccupied with the past or the future?

[David Sedaris]

Oh, I'm preoccupied with the past. The past, yes. I don't know if it's an age thing or it must be because most of my life's over.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

You know, there's more to think about in the past.

[David Sedaris]

When I think about the future, it just all gets worse, you know? I mean, everything gets worse when you think about the future. Right. I mean, I thought when I was young that when you got to be 69, you would give anything to be young again. And now I realize that when you're 69, you say, thank God I'll be dead in 20 years because I don't know how much more of this I can take, you know, because if you went back to being 20, it'd be then you'd feel like, oh, I'm not going to have any career and I'm not gonna be able to afford to ever buy my house and I'm not gonna ever have children and I'm not gonna be able to ever do any

[Rachel Martin]

of these things because that was your psychology then. Or you just think the world has changed to the point where if you were 20 now.

[David Sedaris]

Yeah, if I were 20 now, that's what I would be. Maybe not. I mean, it's a beautiful thing about being young, or used to be. A beautiful thing about being young is that your future was wide open and you didn't feel, you know, you were an optimistic person. And so maybe that, you know what? I'm putting an old head in a young body is what I'm doing, I think. But also, I can't write about the future. You know, I mean, I can write

[Rachel Martin]

about it, but it's not a thing that's interesting.

[David Sedaris]

It's not my thing.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[David Sedaris]

So I was just writing something. My brother. I saw my brother last month, and he's like a, you know, just a slob like you wouldn't believe, you know, but his house was clean. And he said, man, I spent a month cleaning. He said, you know, you gotta. I did that. Mad clean. You know, you gotta be mad to really clean. And my sister Amy and I were like, oh, we thought we were the only ones who did that. But, you know, when you start cleaning, you just get furious. Not at who left the mess, but, like, I have things that I go back to, and I was cleaning, and then I was like the priest's wife in 1968, you know, and I'm cleaning my bathroom thinking, oh, I wish I'd said this to her when she told me that. So that can really hold up a motivator.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, it's like.

[David Sedaris]

It's like a steam engine. You know, you're shoveling coal into the steam engine, but, yeah, the past is. And it could even be yesterday, you know? Yeah. I mean, but that's where. That's where my material is. My material's not ahead of me. It's all behind me.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay.

[David Sedaris]

This is a really good way to do an interview.

[Rachel Martin]

Well, thanks. Yeah, it was kind of fun. 1, 2 or 3?

[David Sedaris]

3.

[Rachel Martin]

Are there any reoccurring symbols that show up in your life?

[David Sedaris]

Turtles.

[Rachel Martin]

Turtles? Really?

[David Sedaris]

Yeah. It all comes back to turtles.

[Rachel Martin]

I mean, doesn't it, though?

[David Sedaris]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

I mean, I have no idea.

[David Sedaris]

But just tell me why. I don't know. I just wind up writing about turtles a lot. They just show up. There's no escaping them. They're just everywhere. I mean, they don't live in England. There are no turtles living in England, so I don't even have them there. But then I'll come back to the United States and it's like turtles again. I just see them everywhere. You know, you'll be driving, and they'll be like a Snapping turtle trying to cross the highway.

[Rachel Martin]

No, no, that doesn't happen.

[David Sedaris]

It doesn't?

[Rachel Martin]

No.

[David Sedaris]

Oh, but gosh, there's a spot, a place in North Carolina where all these turtles get run over. Cause they're trying to mate, and so. And it's like, not the highway, not the highway. And then they just get run over. And it's just the saddest thing. And you wish that they could.

[Rachel Martin]

Have you ever hit a turtle?

[David Sedaris]

I've never driven.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

What?

[David Sedaris]

I've never driven a car. I don't want to hit turtles. That's what I decided when I was young. You know, what? If I were driving at night and not paying attention and I hit a turtle? How could I live with myself? No, I never learned to drive a car.

[Rachel Martin]

I mean, that is wild, because you didn't always live in cities, but.

[David Sedaris]

No, but you know what? If I didn't learn to drive a car, I wouldn't be sitting here, you know, because other people my age were out going wherever they wanted to in a car. And I was, like, at home. And I thought, well, how do I entertain myself at home? So I started off doing artwork, and then I started writing. But if I had the world at my fingers, you know, like.

[Rachel Martin]

Like when you were 16, you just had no desire, or whenever you could get your life.

[David Sedaris]

I was like driver's Ed. But then I hit a mailbox, and I thought, what if that had been a turtle? How would I live with myself? And I never drove again.

[Rachel Martin]

That's not true.

[David Sedaris]

Well, hugh. Okay, maybe 10 years ago, hugh and I were in New Zealand, and he said, you drive,

[Rachel Martin]

but you don't have your license.

[David Sedaris]

No, but we were just on the driveway of our hotel, and I drove the car over to a stone wall, scraped the whole side of the car on the stone wall. I couldn't go straight. I freaked out, and I got. I don't know how people stay in the middle of a road.

[Rachel Martin]

Well, first of all, we don't do this.

[David Sedaris]

You don't.

[Rachel Martin]

We try to. 10 and two, David. You keep your hands at 10 and two. Yeah. Okay, last one. One. Two or three?

[David Sedaris]

One.

[Rachel Martin]

One. What's something you want younger generations to understand?

[David Sedaris]

What's something I want younger generations?

[Rachel Martin]

What is your wisdom to bestow to

[David Sedaris]

the youngs, to understand

[Rachel Martin]

or share with them?

[David Sedaris]

One thing you can't. You don't have when you're young, that you get when you're old is that I can look at somebody now and I can see what they looked like when they were young, and I can recognize that they had a youth. And I can see somebody like this woman had defecated in her pants on the plane and she's coming up the aisle, you know, and they're taking her off the plane. And I saw her when she was 20 and she was so beautiful. And. I could give her that courtesy, do you know what I mean? Because. But I couldn't have, if I were younger, I would just say, you know, like, you don't imagine an older person having a life really, when you're younger.

[Sponsor/Advertisement Voice]

Yeah, right.

[David Sedaris]

And I think it's just something that comes with age. And I don't know that you even could do that when you're young. And maybe that's what part of what. It's part of the. I don't want to say self centeredness. It's something you can't know when you're young.

[Rachel Martin]

Right. You know, but there, well, but there is. I hear you saying it is worth the time to think of the sum total of a person and not just this one experience or this one judgment of them, but to imagine them as a fully developed 360 degree human who was a child, who was an adolescent, who has made other mistakes, who has done wonderful things. And maybe you're touching them, but then

[David Sedaris]

too, I just say this now and it behooves me, you know, so when I'm the one who defecates in my pants, you know, people are gonna be like, he was hot when he was 19. You know, that's really gonna do me any good, you know, But I don't know, I still feel that if you work hard, you can get stuff, you know, I don't feel like it's hopeless. I don't feel that it's rigged, you know, I don't feel that because I, that's one thing. And I, I don't, I, I mean, I. I don't know that I work harder than anybody else, but I'm pretty sure that I do. And so I just say that from experience, you know, and nobody had more. I don't know, like, I kind of got a late start in what I do. It never occurred to me that I could be on the radio with this voice. You know, I grew up at a time when, you know, radio announced people on the radio had really beautiful voices. And it would be like, it would be like thinking that I could be a hand model if I had like, you know, rheumatoid arthritis. Like, I would have never occurred to me that I could have, you know, so things change and doors open And. And. But, you know, unless you do the work, it's not gonna.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[David Sedaris]

You know, it's not gonna happen for you. And. And I guess that just the value of that and the way that the. The pleasure it can bring you, I think is. Is profound. And. I don't know, it's brought me a lot of pleasure in my life and, you know, finding your way like that and kind of creating a career for yourself and making a. You know, carving a path in the world.

[Rachel Martin]

Sounds like you're still a rather optimistic person.

[David Sedaris]

I think I am. And that's a good quality.

[Rachel Martin]

I mean, snarky, let's be clear.

[David Sedaris]

But also optimistic. Yeah, I am. I keep hoping. I keep hoping that they'll open up. Four Seasons in Kansas City.

[Rachel Martin]

You were so. And. David Stairs. We end the show the same way every time with a trip in our memory. Time machine. In the time machine, you revisit one moment from your past. It is not a moment you want to change anything about, but it is a moment you'd like to linger in a little longer. What moment do you choose?

[David Sedaris]

I am a senior in high school. It is an October afternoon. It's perfect fall weather. And I brought the stereo. My sister Gretchen had a stereo that was in a cabinet, and I brought it outside into the backyard and plugged it in. And I'm listening to Phoebe Snow's first album, and I'm raking leaves, and it is the happiest I've ever been in my life. And I wish I could go back and linger there. I remember just because growing up in North Carolina, it could be October, and then all of a sudden it's like 90 and high humidity, and this was a perfect fall day. Perfect. And I had my little perfect fall clothes on, and I had an activity, you know, to rake the leaves in the backyard, and I didn't. And I think, you know, I don't know what's in store for me, but I think on my deathbed, I'll think, well, let me go back then. And there weren't even other people around, but I remember I was going to be seeing people that night, so I had that to look forward to. But. And it was so simple, you know, I mean, I think people. I was invited to the Academy Awards this year, and just based on something that I wrote, it wasn't a movie. I wrote something about a movie, and they liked what I'd written, so they invited me. And so I was in the audience, and I was thinking, people winning the award, you have to worry that what if this is it. What if this is the best moment of your life? And I always thought I wanted the best moment of my life to just be in retrospect, I would see, like, oh, it was that. And it was so simple. And it didn't take. It's never taken much to make me happy. You know, really good weather can just be, you know, just a beautiful fall day. And I like the autumn and being in a nice place and, you know, where we live in England, in the countryside, it's so beautiful. It doesn't. It does. I can't get used to it. It's so beautiful. And I think there's something about. Think there's something about thinking you deserve to live in beauty, you know, because you resist that and you think, I don't deserve this. Something. They're gonna take this away from me. I shouldn't have this. But then when you add the right music and then if you add the right weather, that's really all it takes. But I was so. And I just had my whole life ahead of me, and I didn't know, you know, I knew what I hoped, you know, it would be. I just wanted people to know my name. I wanted that so bad. And I don't know why, you know, it didn't matter anything to other people, but. And it was really important to me that that happened. And, you know, when you're. It's not like you're 30, and you're like, it hasn't happened yet, and you're feeling like, oh, you could be a failure. You're 17. Yeah. You know, it's all before you, and it's a great day, and you have a rake in your hands. You know what could be better?

[Rachel Martin]

David Sedaris. His newest book is called the Land and Its People. It has been such a pleasure. Thanks for doing this.

[David Sedaris]

Oh, it's been a real pleasure for me, too.

[Rachel Martin]

So if you're a David Sedaris fan or if you heard him for the first time in this episode and you dug what you heard heard, I would recommend checking out my conversation with comedian Tig Notaro. Tig and David Sedaris have this style where they're just having the time of their lives observing all the weird stuff humans do. And they'd be doing it anyway if no one was listening, but we are. It's like we, the audience, are being invited into their hilarious inner dialogue. My conversation with Tig was one of my favorites. This episode was produced by Alicia Zhang and Summer Tomatoes. It was edited by Dave Blanchard and mastered by Andy Huether. Wildcard's executive producer is Yolanda Sangweni, and our theme music is by Ramtin Arablouei. You can reach out to [e-mail], we're going to shuffle the deck and be back with more next week. Talk to you then.

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