Natalie Morales is trying to shake the "should"

Summary

Wild Card with Rachel Martin: Natalie Morales is Trying to Shake the "Should"

Released on February 20, 2025

Introduction

In this captivating episode of Wild Card with Rachel Martin, NPR host Rachel Martin invites actress Natalie Morales to delve deep into life’s most profound questions. Unlike typical interview podcasts, Wild Card utilizes a unique deck of cards to guide the conversation, allowing guests to explore topics they've never been asked before. This episode, titled "Natalie Morales is Trying to Shake the 'Should'," offers an intimate look into Morales's perspectives on authority, personal growth, and her latest cinematic endeavor.

Early Life and Upbringing

Natalie Morales opens up about her childhood in Miami, juxtaposing her playful memories with the complexities of her upbringing. When asked, “What activity gave you a sense of freedom as a kid?” (03:00), Morales nostalgically recalls climbing mango trees and running a “mango monopoly” in her neighborhood. She shares:

"I didn’t have a lemonade stand. I had a mango. A mango stand, and I sold mangoes. Did you? Yeah, I did like mango. I can’t remember." (03:07)

Morales describes her mother as highly protective, which fostered a yearning for freedom and perspective beyond the confines of her home. This sense of longing is further emphasized when she reflects on her time spent in a backyard shed, watching the highway and sky:

"That definitely made me feel freer. I think I felt a little bit confined where I grew up." (03:55)

Career Path and Challenges

Transitioning to her career, Morales discusses the pressures and expectations she faced, especially as a Latina and a first-generation American. When prompted about misconceptions regarding Miami, she states:

"Miami is really misconceived. A lot of people from Miami are industrious and know how to take advantage of that. They make the city what you want it to be." (04:44)

Her journey to Los Angeles with her best friend Serena was fueled by a desire to pursue artistic endeavors over the prevalent party-centric culture she observed in Miami. Morales candidly shares the challenges of fitting into Hollywood’s authoritative structures, expressing her struggles with respect and authority:

"I have a hard time with authority unless they are like, I don’t respect people just because they have any kind of title." (20:00)

This sentiment underscores her independent nature and commitment to authenticity over conforming to external expectations.

Discussion of 'My Dead Friend Zoe'

A significant portion of the conversation focuses on Morales's latest film, My Dead Friend Zoe. Rachel Martin praises the film's emotional depth and its exploration of trauma and friendship, to which Morales responds:

"It is a beautiful movie with a message about how we care for one another and the long trauma of war." (02:19)

Morales delves into the character dynamics, describing her role as Zoe’s spirit as a manifestation of survivor's guilt rather than a traditional ghost:

"I felt like she was more like a guilt demon... a manipulative force in your life trying with many different tactics to keep you in that place." (15:16)

She highlights the film’s focus on female veterans, a niche rarely explored in cinema, emphasizing the authenticity brought by having most of the cast as actual veterans.

Beliefs Round Highlights

In the Beliefs Round, Morales reflects on profound philosophical questions. When asked if the idea of an infinite universe excites or scares her (25:13), she responds:

"Both. It’s scary to feel small. And it’s also liberating to feel small." (25:22)

She further explores her acceptance of mortality, sharing a poignant moment of contemplating her possessions outliving her:

"I think I've made peace with it. The more that we are okay with that, the more we get to really appreciate what we have while we have it." (30:47)

However, Morales's most impactful insight emerges when discussing the concept of "should":

"No one is supposed to be anything other than what they are. There's no supposed to. There's no should, there's no none of that. You just... There's no right way to be you other than what's already there." (31:15)

This revelation underscores her commitment to authenticity and rejecting societal pressures to conform.

Memory Time Machine

Concluding the episode, Rachel and Natalie embark on the "memory time machine" segment. Morales chooses to revisit moments with her grandfather, who serenaded himself with Cuban boleros in a lazy boy recliner:

"He was just doing it for himself. It wasn’t really that loud. It was just kind of, like, quietly singing." (34:35)

This memory encapsulates Morales's appreciation for quiet moments of joy and individuality.

Conclusion

Rachel Martin wraps up the episode by commending Morales's authenticity and resilience. She encourages listeners to explore more of Morales's work through Wild Card+, where fans can enjoy bonus content, including Morales's reflections on dreams featuring 90s pop icons. This episode of Wild Card not only showcases Natalie Morales's multifaceted personality but also offers listeners a profound exploration of self-acceptance and the courage to defy societal expectations.

Notable Quotes:

• Natalie Morales on Authority:

  "I do not respect you at all. So I'm pretty bad with authority." (00:18)

• On Letting Go of 'Should':

  "There’s no right way to be you other than what’s already there." (31:15)

• Reflecting on Mortality:

  "I think I've made peace with it. The more that we are okay with that, the more we get to really appreciate what we have while we have it." (30:47)

Timestamps Reference:

• Authority Discussion: 00:16 – 20:08
• Early Life Stories: 03:00 – 07:55
• 'My Dead Friend Zoe' Insights: 13:23 – 18:21
• Beliefs Round Highlights: 25:05 – 34:15
• Conclusion and Wrap-Up: 35:45 – 37:48

This episode serves as an inspiring testament to embracing one's true self and the power of authentic storytelling in both personal and professional realms.

Transcript

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[Rachel Martin]

How are you with authority?

[Natalie Morales]

Terrible. Terrible. I think I have something that I've learned about recently, which is some people call pathological demand avoidance, which is I don't respect anyone who doesn't respect me.

[Rachel Martin]

I'm Rachel Martin and this is Wildcard, the game where cards control the conversation. Each week my guest answers questions about their life pulled from a deck of cards. They're allowed to skip one and to flip one question back on me. My guest this week is actor Natalie Morales.

[Natalie Morales]

So I'm like totally fine with somebody being in charge, but if I sense any kind of disrespect to me or to anybody else, it's gone. I'm out the window. I do not respect you at all.

[Rachel Martin]

I'm gonna start today with an admission I watch a lot of shows, like.

A lot of them, mainly on the.

Treadmill, which is sort of my excuse. It's entertaining and it's healthy. And I have been watching and running for like 30 years, which means I can trace a lot of actors careers. And I have my favorites actors who aren't necessarily always the lead, but I.

Look forward to seeing them in everything.

They do and I seek out their stuff. And Natalie Morales is one of those actors and she has been in so many things. Girls, Parks and Rec, Dead to Me, the Morning show, indie movies like Language Lessons, and movies with huge names like no Hard Feelings with Jennifer Lawrence or Battle of the Sexes with Emma Stone. And every time Natalie pops up in something, it makes me so happy. She plays these characters that can be wonderfully irreverent and wear their heart on their sleeve at the same time. Her latest movie is called My Dead Friend Zoe, in which she plays Zoe, whose spirit is haunting her best friend from the army, Merritt, played by Sonequa Martin Green, Morgan Freeman and Ed Harris co star. It is a beautiful movie with a message about how we care for one another and the long trauma of war. And it is my pleasure to welcome Natalie Morales to Wildcard. Hi.

[Natalie Morales]

Hello. That's so nice. You said so many nice things.

[Rachel Martin]

They're all true in my opinion.

[Natalie Morales]

That's good.

[Rachel Martin]

Congrats on the movie.

[Natalie Morales]

Thank you.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, it's lovely and we're gonna have time to talk about it, but I am so excited to do this game with you. Are you a game Person in general.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah, I love a game.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay, well.

[Natalie Morales]

And I also love getting to know people in a deeper way. Really? Yes.

[Rachel Martin]

Well, lucky you, Natalie Morales. Great. Yeah, I think we'll end up there after this. Said and done.

[Natalie Morales]

All right. Okay, let's go.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay, first three cards. One, two, or three?

[Natalie Morales]

Let's go with two.

[Rachel Martin]

Two. What activity gave you a sense of freedom as a kid?

[Natalie Morales]

I used to climb a lot of trees, which did give me a sense of freedom. And I grew up with a mango tree in my backyard. That. A very Miami thing to say and a very Latin girl thing to say. I didn't have a lemonade stand. I had a mango. A mango stand, and I sold mangoes. Did you? Yeah, I did like mango. I can't remember. But I do remember that other kids in my neighborhood were also selling mangoes, and that was not cool. So I combined and I made a mango monopoly, and I was quite successful at it. But, yeah, I climbed a lot of trees. And I would also. We had this little, like, shed in the back, and I would climb up there and just look at the highway behind my house and the sky and stuff. And that. That definitely made me feel. It made me feel freer. I think I felt a little bit confined where I grew up. I don't know. My mom was very protective of me, so I think that made me feel like I had some sort of freedom just to be able to look out at the world.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, I think we all need that, like, that sense of perspective and just reminding yourself, especially when you're young, like, it's not all here. The world is a big place, and it's bigger than the four walls that you're being raised in. And you get to dream a little bit when you have some perspective out a window. Okay, well, I hope we get back to the fact that you're, like, a monopolist at a very young age, because that's really interesting and a capitalist. There you go.

[Natalie Morales]

Yes.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay. Second. Second set of cards. One. Two or three?

[Natalie Morales]

One.

[Rachel Martin]

One. What's a misconception about the place you grew up?

[Natalie Morales]

Ooh. You know, I think Miami is. Is really. It's really misconceived. I think a lot of people come from other places and put their own spin on it. And, you know, I think a lot of people from Miami are industrious and know how to take advantage of that. They make the city what you want it to be. They make it your, like, vacation paradise. But that's a kind of a facade that is put on for people to enjoy it.

[Rachel Martin]

So we. You were anxious to leave, though, right? When I was reading a little bit about your backstory, I mean, you moved with a friend to la. Was there a part of you that lamented having to do that for your career, or were you ready to see the world get out?

[Natalie Morales]

There's a part of me now that laments having to do that. Not then. I think when I was. When I moved, I was 20, and I moved with my best friend Serena. We moved to la. We could not wait to get out. We could not wait. It felt very. I think, for both of us, it felt like there weren't opportunities for people like us there. And I think people from Miami, at least at the time that we were there, were. And the groups that we were in, maybe we weren't in the right social groups, were kind of, you know, just interested in, like, making as much money as possible and, like, partying on the weekends and, like, just kind of living life in this way. And Serena and I were really wanting to make art and wanting to make films and do interesting things, and people would look at us weird for that, you know, and, like, why would you.

[Rachel Martin]

Want to leave this awesome place where you live?

[Natalie Morales]

Well, just, like, they didn't understand that as a pursuit because it wasn't financially driven. And also, you know, I'm Latin. I'm Cuban. I mean, I'm first generation. My whole family are refugees. But I also don't physically look like the, like, typical Latina woman. I don't have the biggest butt. I have an okay butt. So that means I wasn't really, like, super successful in my love life in Miami.

[Rachel Martin]

Shut up.

[Natalie Morales]

No, I'm dead serious. So, like, it was also that sort of, like, I did not feel wanted by that city when I was that age. And because of your relatively flat backside. Yeah, well, listen. Okay, Rachel, not flat. I didn't say flat, nor relatively flat.

[Rachel Martin]

I'm projecting my own tush onto you.

[Natalie Morales]

No, I said it was good. I said it was really good, but it's just not, like, incredible, right? I wasn't like J. Lo, and you kind of need that to be successful. And Miami has that aplenty, whether it be real or enhanced. And so I wanted to go somewhere where I could forge a new path. But now, having spent time away from there, I do see that there were ways that I could have forged my own path there. And I miss my family so much. And there's so many great things about Miami that I've come to really love and want to represent.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, okay. One, two, or three? Last one in this round, I guess.

[Natalie Morales]

Let's go with three.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay.

[Natalie Morales]

Just to make it even.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah. How do you consciously try to emulate your parents?

[Natalie Morales]

Oh, I don't.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, say more.

[Natalie Morales]

I don't. If anything, I guess. I guess I don't consciously try to emulate anybody. In fact, I try to do the opposite as much as I can. However, I will say that my mom has this real incredible sort of like, quiet selflessness where I'll find out years later that she would have brought lunch every day to somebody that couldn't afford it at work. And she did it for, like, 20 years and they retired. She does stuff like that and never tells anybody. And that I've always really admired is her will to do good for other people without ever shining a light on herself about it or even thinking about it twice. That is something that I guess I do try to emulate, if anything at all. But otherwise, I don't. I really think it's important to be whoever you actually are.

[Rachel Martin]

Hmm. It was such. You didn't even hesitate when I asked that question. And for some people, you know, they work hard to. They're like, oh, this I loved about my parents. And this. But it's interesting to me that the idea of replicating someone else's perspective or beliefs or actions feels like anathema to you. Like, there's a real independent streak going on in you.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Where'd that come from? Did that come from your parents?

[Natalie Morales]

No. Not at all. I don't think so. Actually, my mom and I were just talking about this because she showed me this school picture that I had where my hair was just horrible. It was a ponytail on just one side of my head. Not both sides. Yes. Not pictures, just one side.

[Rachel Martin]

On one side, Pony up or down?

[Natalie Morales]

Up.

[Rachel Martin]

Up.

[Natalie Morales]

And she was like, I can't believe you made me. You wanted your hair like that. And I was like, I didn't want my hair like that. You did that to me. And she goes, no, no, you wanted your hair like that. And I fought you on it. And I was like, no, you did this to me. You always gave me bad hairdos. And she's like, natalie, no. And I tend to kind of believe her with that one. With most other things, I think she has a warped memory. But with that one, I just always liked what I liked and didn't like what I didn't like. And I think from a very young age, I kind of was. I don't know. I was independent, but I also didn't like anybody telling me what to do.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, I mean that's the thing. As adults we always try to. I don't care what people think. I'm just my own person. That's a hard thing for a kid to be.

[Sponsor]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

To like not care about the consequences of wearing a side pony.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah, I think, you know, it's not that I don't as an adult, I think. And as a kid, it's not that I. I don't care what people think is too broad of a term. I care that what I am trying to put out there is coming across the way I want it to. Right. Like I care that I am seeing.

[Rachel Martin]

You don't want to be misunderstood.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah, I don't want to be misunderstood. But if I am, if you are interpreting me correctly and you don't like it. Oh well, yeah, that's always how I felt. I think.

[Rachel Martin]

I mean, I think you should bottle that stuff up and sell it. Like I've got a middle schooler who could use a dose of it.

[Natalie Morales]

Like that's.

[Rachel Martin]

Please, please tell people special superpower.

[Natalie Morales]

Honestly, if you understand me and you don't think it's cool, then you have bad taste. That's all I gotta say.

[Rachel Martin]

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[Rachel Martin]

Okay, let's pull out for a second.

[Natalie Morales]

Okay.

[Rachel Martin]

Because I want to talk about your movie.

[Natalie Morales]

Okay.

[Rachel Martin]

So the film is called My Dead Friend Zoe.

[Natalie Morales]

Yes.

[Rachel Martin]

I mean, it's lovely. I mean, I nodded to the plot in the intro, but your spirit is lurking around in the life of your best friend. Merritt is the character's name Sonequa. Martin Green plays beautifully this character. It's about trauma. It's about veterans. When you read this, what struck you about it?

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah, there was a lot that struck me about it. So Kyle Houseman Stokes, who directed it and co wrote it, he wrote me this incredible letter and described to me how this is based on his life and an experience that he had and with his best friend and how he went through exactly this and how he hoped to help people that may be going through the same thing by just sort of talking about it. And also, yes, Ed Harris was attached, and so was Sinequa, who I didn't know at the time, but is just the most incredible actor. Like, she's unbelievable. I.

[Rachel Martin]

And you really are kind of standing next to her as she does all this because you're like a spirit.

[Natalie Morales]

Yes.

[Rachel Martin]

And so you're sharing physical space, but not the scene.

[Natalie Morales]

I feel like the way that I saw it was less that it was a spirit because it's not really a ghost. I mean, you know that she's dead from the beginning because the title tells you so. But I felt like she was more like a guilt demon, you know?

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[Natalie Morales]

And yes, it is about. These people happen to be veterans, but I think it's sort of universal. I don't necessarily think it's an only. It's only for veterans at all because I think a lot of people have survivor's guilt in these experiences. And that's what Merritt, Sinequa's character is going through. She has this survivor's guilt, and she just kind of has her best friend just always there. And this guilt demon has fun because that's how her friend would have been. But also it's a manifestation of guilt. So it is manipulative. And that was really interesting for me to play because it's not really a human person. It's this manipulative force in your life trying with many different tactics to keep you in that place.

[Rachel Martin]

Outside of the creative director of the whole film, did you talk to other veterans?

[Natalie Morales]

Yes. In fact, most of our cast were veterans, which was amazing. I mean, I think Sonequa and me and Ed were the only People who weren't veterans in the whole movie.

[Rachel Martin]

Really?

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Was Morgan Freeman a veteran?

[Natalie Morales]

Morgan Freeman's a veteran? Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Wow.

[Natalie Morales]

And we had long conversations with all of them, in particular, female veterans who were there, who, of course, have a unique experience to this. And, you know, there also aren't a lot of films about female veterans. Right. And that was another reason why we kind of wanted to do it in this way.

[Rachel Martin]

That was a choice Kyle made because it was him. It was his guy friends. And.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah, Kyle. Kyle, you know, kind of brilliantly made this choice where he was like, there's enough movies about this that. There's enough movies about, like, white guy veterans. And he was like, I want the Avatar for this to be something we haven't seen as often. And I think, you know, not to put words in his mouth, but I think it allowed him also to separate himself a little bit more from this. I think it might have been a little bit too close to home if it was someone that looked like him and someone that looked like his friend. So I think it allowed him to build some separation there. But I think it was a wise choice, and not only because it allowed me to star in it, but because I think it made the movie more interesting, maybe. At least to me. I would watch it now.

[Rachel Martin]

Totally.

[Natalie Morales]

I'm not really a war movie person, so.

[Rachel Martin]

No, it's lovely. And it's like a beautiful portrait of a friendship, too. It's just a beautiful look at two people who so truly care about one another. And you can't always meet one another's expectations in a friendship either.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay. Well, thank you for sharing all those things. Congrats again on the movie.

[Natalie Morales]

Thank you.

[Rachel Martin]

It was completely delightful and beautiful. Thank you. And we're gonna pull back into round two.

[Natalie Morales]

Okay.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay. First three.

[Natalie Morales]

Okay.

[Rachel Martin]

One, two, three. Getting deeper. Three, three. How are you with authority?

[Natalie Morales]

Oh, we already touched on this.

[Rachel Martin]

We sort of touched on it.

[Natalie Morales]

Terrible. I think I have something that I've learned about recently, which is some people call pathological demand avoidance, which is I just don't. I don't respect anyone who doesn't respect me. So I'm, like, totally fine with somebody being in charge and being at the helm of something and telling me what to do and that being their position, and I'm fine with doing that. But if I sense anything, any kind of disrespect to me or to anybody else, it's gone. I'm out the window. I do not respect you at all. So I'm pretty bad with authority. Unless they Are like, I don't respect people just because they have any kind of title. Right. It's really hard for me to do that. If I were to meet some sort of king or queen and they were like, these are all the things you have to do. You can't look them in the eye or something. I can't do that. Like, no, no, no, no, no. You're a person. You're a person. You have diarrhea like everyone else. You're not anything special. Like, I don't care what titles or things you've had. I don't know. I don't. I have a hard time with authority unless just because it was given to them. You know what I mean? Yeah. No.

[Rachel Martin]

Is that easier or harder in Hollywood?

[Natalie Morales]

It depends on the metric. I think it's probably harder to advance in some way if you're not brown nosing, but I wouldn't know. I just have never been able to do it. And. Yeah, I just don't. I do have a hard time with people telling me, with the perceived demand of something if I don't understand why you're asking me to do it.

[Rachel Martin]

No, I get it. I'm not crossing you. Okay, three more. One, two or three.

[Natalie Morales]

Let's go with one.

[Rachel Martin]

One. What's a goal you're glad you gave up on?

[Natalie Morales]

Oh, that's a nice question.

[Rachel Martin]

Hmm.

[Natalie Morales]

Thank you. A goal I'm glad I gave up on.

[Rachel Martin]

Give a skip and a flip if you don't like it.

[Natalie Morales]

Being president.

[Rachel Martin]

Come on, there's still time.

[Natalie Morales]

I don't want to, though. I don't want to listen.

[Rachel Martin]

Are you joshing me? Was that actually a goal?

[Natalie Morales]

It was a goal. I was the president of my eighth grade class and of my senior class, and there was a time when I was like, I feel like I could be in politics. I wanted to be a lawyer. But I'm glad I gave up on that because I would hate it. It would not be fun because I don't play games like that. I can't play that game. So it would be hard for me. But, yeah, I'm glad I give up on politics.

[Rachel Martin]

I mean, I also. I was also the president of my eighth grade class and I was student body vice president. I didn't want all the responsibility of being president, apparently, but I thought vice president in high school was appropriate. And I also took the LSAT because my dad was a lawyer. I thought maybe I was going to be a lawyer.

[Natalie Morales]

Did you pass it? Is that too much?

[Rachel Martin]

I mean, did I pass it? I think I passed It. I don't think I got. No one was there with a T shirt cannon. When I finished it, I was doing.

[Natalie Morales]

I was doing like logic puzzles for fun. Not that long ago. Like a lot of them all the time. And someone was like, that's basically the L set. You should try that. And I was like, that's where we're different.

[Rachel Martin]

That's where we're different. Because I did not enjoy that process. But I bring this up because I remember my dad, God bless him, was like, you should go talk to other lawyers. Don't just rely on me. He loved being a lawyer. He was like, here's some other people you should go talk to. And one of them looked me in the face and said, he said, if there's literally anything else that you want to do in your life, at least do that thing first.

That's so funny.

And then if it didn't scratch, then fine, go be a lawyer. But I was like, wow, it's really.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah, hardcore. That's what people say to actors.

[Rachel Martin]

Well, it's a good test, right?

[Natalie Morales]

Like, yes, it is.

[Rachel Martin]

It's hard to do those things.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Although I would argue that the, I don't know, the satisfaction that comes of being a really successful actor is. Well, I don't know. There's a lot of really happy lawyers. I should not besmirch them.

[Natalie Morales]

There's a lot more chance to acting than there is to being a lawyer, I think.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Foreign.

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[Rachel Martin]

This is the Beliefs Round. Natalie Morales.

[Natalie Morales]

Okay, okay. Ready?

[Rachel Martin]

First, first card. One, Two or three?

[Natalie Morales]

I'll do two.

[Rachel Martin]

Two. Does the idea of an infinite universe excite or scare you?

[Natalie Morales]

Both. It's scary and exciting. It's scary to feel small. And it's also liberating to feel small.

[Rachel Martin]

There are some people who think that the idea of forever is just. Is fundamentally unmooring.

[Natalie Morales]

I understand that. Yeah. I think there are so many things in life that are not explainable that you have to start to. If you want to keep going and you want to make sense of anything, you have to accept that you won't know everything. And you have to go. Like, I always think about this. My dog, My dog, Taco. Taco, he's the best. He flies with me sometimes and one time when he was. He's used to it now, but earlier he would sit on my lap and he would look out the window like he does in a car, right? And as the plane is taking off and it's taxiing down the Runway, he's looking at all the things as he would at a car window. Other people walking around, other cars, things going. And then the plane takes off and everything gets smaller and smaller. And as I can tell that it's not making sense to him that everything's getting smaller, he just goes, well, and then gives up and then sits down. And I think about that all the time. Cause I'm like. I feel like he just moved on in his life. He went well, everything shrunk. And I'm just going to turn around because I don't get that.

[Rachel Martin]

I want Taako to be my spiritual leader. Like that kind of acknowledgement and just let it go, just get over it.

[Natalie Morales]

That's kind of what you gotta do with a lot of stuff. Like, yeah, I'm not gonna understand that. I wasn't. My small brain is probably never gonna get the idea of a completely infinite universe, but it's there. And so I have to kind of marvel at it and also then just decide what I want for lunch.

[Rachel Martin]

That's right.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

God bless Taco. Okay, three more. One, two or three?

[Natalie Morales]

I like. These are red. Now. Three.

[Rachel Martin]

What's the most Religious thing about you.

[Natalie Morales]

Oh, let's skip that one.

[Rachel Martin]

Let's skip it. Okay, great. You don't even have to explain why. So then I pick one randomly over this. Have you made peace with mortality?

[Natalie Morales]

Oh, that's a good question. Okay, I can answer that. Okay. Yes, I think I have made peace with mortality. Maybe, I don't know. One time in my nightly think about everything in the world before you fall asleep moments, I was like, my lights were off, but the moon was shining in my room. And I could see my furniture and my stuff. And I was just kind of looking around and I went, oh, you know what? All this furniture, like my dresser and my bed is probably going to outlive me. And, like, somebody else is going to own that, and there will be, like, a tag on my toe someday. And I was just kind of looking around at the things in my house, all the things, and I was like, oh, that's interesting. Like, I've never thought about how the things that I own will probably outlive me. Most of them.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, my God. I was just thinking about this, honestly, because I have this. Well, I have this chair that was my great grandfather. Sky's Skye Scarborough was his name, which.

[Natalie Morales]

Is like a beautiful. What a great name.

[Rachel Martin]

I know, right? And he was a teacher and a carpenter. But it's unclear if he made this chair. I don't get to know this. Cause my parents are gone now. And it was a question I wished I had asked. But this. This chair is sitting in my bedroom in the corner. It's really ornate, and I don't want the chair anymore. I'm not, like, attached to things. And I look at it, I'm like, I don't know. What is that doing? It's like holding our dirty clothes. But then I started thinking about him, and I'm like, he, at the very least, owned this chair. And now I'm gonna, like, get rid of it. And then who remembers him? And it's just having it around a vehicle for me to remember him every once in a while. And if I don't have the chair, is he forever for. And then I got all up in my head about it.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah, you feel responsible to be the steward for the chair. Maybe I have a solution for you.

[Rachel Martin]

What? What would Taco do? That's my question.

[Natalie Morales]

I think you write something, maybe a note or something that might last. And you write, this chair was either made or belonged to this guy at this time. Please take care of it. And you put it under the chair on the bottom of the seat. And then you sell it or give it away. And whoever gets it is gonna see that, and they will know, and then he won't.

[Rachel Martin]

I love that.

[Natalie Morales]

The fact that he had the chair won't be gone. Yeah. But. Yeah, some people will have your furniture someday, and they won't know it's yours. And some people will have my furniture, and they won't know it's mine. And. Yeah, I don't know. I think I've made peace with it. Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

I don't know.

[Natalie Morales]

Where are we?

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna happen. We're all gonna die, and our furniture's gonna outlive us. Is your point?

[Natalie Morales]

Yes.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[Natalie Morales]

And the more that we. The more that we are okay with that, the more we get to, like, really appreciate what we have while we have it.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, I agree.

[Natalie Morales]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay. We have one more. One, Two or three.

[Natalie Morales]

One.

[Rachel Martin]

One. What? Truth guides your life more than any other, Rachel.

[Natalie Morales]

These are so deep.

[Rachel Martin]

I know.

[Natalie Morales]

You know, this is going to sound really super simple, but it was kind of life changing for me. And it was something that I really came to believe in the last, like, five years, which is that no one is supposed to be anything other than what they are. You are not. There's no supposed to. There's no should, there's no none of that. You just. There's no right way to be you other than what's already there. Like, I think that so much time is wasted and energy is spent and there's so much strife in, like, trying to be something the right way, the right kind of mom, the right kind of daughter, the right kind of radio show host, the right kind of person. And it. It is already there. And so, like, I really try to listen to my gut and my instinct and whatever the expression of me feels right and feels solid and doesn't feel like a betrayal to my. And that's what I really try to let guide me in life in general. I always want to have integrity with myself and at the end of the day, go like, oh, I didn't betray myself in that moment at all.

[Rachel Martin]

Was there a big should in your life?

[Natalie Morales]

I think there were many, many big shoulds. There was a lot of pressure, especially in the career that I had. There's so many examples of should. Right. Like, of what you should look like. And then I realized that the most. The people that I really admired and the most successful people were the people that just did it the way they wanted to do it. They just were themselves. But also in life, you know, I think I wanted to do it right. And then it kind of was like, oh, there is no right way. There's no right way. There's just what you are. I mean, every. Not to get to, like, I don't know, heady about it, but, like, a flower just blooms. It just does what it does. It doesn't look to the side to see how other flowers are looking and, like, how they're doing it. It just does it. And it faces the sun, it faces the day. It just blooms the way it's meant to. And that's kind of what I try to think about all the time.

[Rachel Martin]

That is a lovely, lovely idea. Yeah.

[Natalie Morales]

Thanks.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay, so we end show the same way every time.

[Natalie Morales]

Okay.

[Rachel Martin]

With a trip in our memory time machine.

[Natalie Morales]

Okay.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay. We're going there.

[Natalie Morales]

All right.

[Rachel Martin]

You pick one moment from your past. You don't want to change anything about this moment, but it's just a place you'd like to linger in a little longer. Which moment would you like to revisit?

[Natalie Morales]

You know, the first thing that came to my mind is a really nice one, and I'm gonna use that one, which is my grandfather who raised me. Sometimes in the afternoon, would sit in his, like, lazy boy recliner in the living room, and he'd sing. And in the, like, afternoon light, he'd just sing quietly. Some, like, old Cuban boleros like, to himself. And I would watch him from the end of the hall. I'd kind of just, like, peek and listen to him. And sometimes I think about the light and the shadows and his voice, and he was just doing it for himself. It wasn't really that loud. It was just kind of, like, quietly singing. And I don't know anybody else that really does that. I mean, I know some singers that kind of, like, sing while they're doing other things just around the house, but he would sit and sing, and I'd love to time travel to that just a moment longer.

[Rachel Martin]

Natalie Morales, thank you so much for doing this. Her new movie is called My Dead Friend Zoe. It has been such a pleasure to talk with you.

[Natalie Morales]

Likewise, Rachel. So nice to meet you.

[Rachel Martin]

So nice to meet you.

If you like this conversation, go back and check out my episode with Natalie's frequent collaborator, Mark Duplass. Both of them have figured out how to be comfortable in their own skin and to listen, really listen to their own instincts, no matter what anybody else says. If you want to hear more with Natalie, check out this week's Wild Card plus, where she talks about a recent dream she had featuring 90s pop icons Hanson Turns out she's a big fan.

[Natalie Morales]

Not a single inch of my bedroom walls was not covered in posters of theirs like I was a big fan of theirs when I was 12 years old.

[Rachel Martin]

You can hear that answer by signing up for Wildcard plus, which is a supreme way to support Support our show and public radio and you get to listen.

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Find out [e-mail] Wildcard this episode was produced by Cher Vincent. It was edited by Romel Wood and Dave Blanchard and mastered by Patrick Murray. Wildcard's executive producer is Yolanda Sangweni. Our theme music is by Ramtin Arablou. You can reach out to us@wildcardpr. We will shuffle the deck and we will be back with more next week. Talk to you then.

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