Uzo Aduba can do anything... except for the butterfly stroke

Summary

Wild Card with Rachel Martin: Uzo Aduba Can Do Anything... Except for the Butterfly Stroke

Release Date: March 20, 2025

Introduction

In this captivating episode of Wild Card with Rachel Martin, NPR's acclaimed host Rachel Martin sits down with the versatile and talented actress Uzo Aduba. Recognized for her powerful performances in Orange Is the New Black, Mrs. America, and the latest Netflix series The Residence, Uzo delves deep into her personal journey, creative processes, and profound beliefs. This long-form summary encapsulates their engaging conversation, highlighting Uzo's reflections on childhood, career, motherhood, and her unique approach to storytelling.

Early Life and Childhood Memories

Uzo opens up about her imaginative childhood and the influence of her Nigerian immigrant parents. She shares a vivid memory from around [03:01], describing how her creativity led her to build tree houses despite having no formal training:

"I had a wild imagination as a child... I would build tree houses and have no contractor background." ([04:05])

This spirit of innovation and perseverance was instilled by her parents, who were the first in their families to immigrate to America. Uzo recounts her parents' emphasis on dreaming big and believing in oneself:

"There was no community for them when they came... they filled my siblings and I up with the idea that we can do anything." ([06:35])

Her childhood adventures, though sometimes reckless, were a testament to her boundless creativity and the supportive foundation her parents provided.

Navigating a Career in Acting

Rachel Martin provides a poignant overview of Uzo's career trajectory, emphasizing how close she came to abandoning acting for law school. On the exact day she considered this shift, Uzo received the life-changing news of landing her role in Orange Is the New Black. This pivotal moment marked the beginning of her ascent in the acting world.

Uzo reflects on the authority and competence she brings to her characters, whether portraying Shirley Chisholm in Mrs. America or Detective Cordelia Cuppa in The Residence. She discusses her collaboration with Shonda Rhimes and the unique challenges of bringing Cordelia to life:

"Cordelia Cupp is a woman of her own cast or of her own type. She is quirky. She's the world's greatest detective." ([13:19])

Uzo describes Cordelia's meticulous nature and unwavering focus, traits that set her apart in a male-dominated environment:

"She doesn't miss a beat. She serves the job. Her only focus, her only priority is to be in service to the case." ([17:10])

Insights into Personal Growth and Motherhood

Transitioning into the "Insights" round, Uzo discusses personal qualities she admires but doesn't possess. She humorously mentions her aspiration to master the butterfly stroke in swimming, despite her acknowledged lack of stamina and wingspan:

"They look like they're flying in water or like actual dolphins. I wish I could do that. I can't do it." ([18:16])

Addressing the sacrifices of adulthood, Uzo candidly shares her decision to give up junk food to lead a healthier lifestyle, influenced by her becoming a mother:

"It's modeling good choices... I want to be around as long as possible to see those remarkable things." ([20:43])

Her reflections on motherhood reveal a deep-seated desire to be present for her daughter's milestones, emphasizing the profound impact of parenthood on her life's trajectory.

Beliefs and Reflections on Mortality

In the "Beliefs" segment, Uzo contemplates mortality and the enduring presence of her late mother in her life. She conveys a sense of peace with the concept of death, finding comfort in the belief that loved ones watch over us:

"I do believe heaven is closer than we think... they get to see everything that we're doing and they don't miss a birthday, a Christmas." ([25:38])

Uzo shares a heartfelt moment when her mother expressed no fear of death, only a wish for more time:

"No, I just wish I had a little more time." ([26:52])

This perspective underscores her acceptance and the continuation of her mother's influence through her own life and parenting.

Memory Time Machine: Cherished Moments

Concluding the episode, Rachel invites Uzo to revisit a treasured memory. Uzo chooses her senior portrait day in high school, a moment that marked a turning point in her self-perception:

"He said to me, I think you have a beautiful smile. And my mom had been saying that to me my whole life... I never believed it. But that day, for some reason, I believed him for the first time." ([34:38])

This memory symbolizes Uzo's journey towards self-acceptance and the lasting impact of affirmations from others.

Conclusion

Rachel Martin and Uzo Aduba's conversation on Wild Card offers a profound exploration of resilience, creativity, and the human experience. From building tree houses as a child to navigating the complexities of motherhood and embracing one's beliefs, Uzo's stories are both inspiring and relatable. Her ability to balance professional success with personal growth serves as a testament to her strength and authenticity.

For those who haven't tuned into this episode, the conversation provides valuable insights into the life of one of today's most talented actresses, showcasing her depth both on and off the screen.

Notable Quotes

• "I had a wild imagination as a child... I would build tree houses and have no contractor background." — Uzo Aduba ([04:05])

• "There was no community for them when they came... they filled my siblings and I up with the idea that we can do anything." — Uzo Aduba ([06:35])

• "Cordelia Cupp is a woman of her own cast or of her own type. She is quirky. She's the world's greatest detective." — Uzo Aduba ([13:19])

• "They look like they're flying in water or like actual dolphins. I wish I could do that. I can't do it." — Uzo Aduba ([18:16])

• "I do believe heaven is closer than we think... they get to see everything that we're doing and they don't miss a birthday, a Christmas." — Uzo Aduba ([25:38])

• "He said to me, I think you have a beautiful smile. And my mom had been saying that to me my whole life... I never believed it. But that day, for some reason, I believed him for the first time." — Uzo Aduba ([34:38])

---

This summary captures the essence of Uzo Aduba's episode on Wild Card with Rachel Martin, providing a comprehensive overview for both fans and new listeners alike.

Transcript

[Unknown Announcer]

This message comes from Sony Pictures Classics presenting the Penguin Lessons, a new comedy starring Steve Coogan as a teacher whose life is upended after he rescues a penguin from an oil slicked beach. Starts March 28th. Only in theaters.

[Rachel Martin]

Is there anything in your life that has felt predestined?

[Uzo Aduba]

Not particularly. Maybe the closest thing I can think of, but I don't even know if I necessarily think it's predestined, is Mother Neighborhood.

[Rachel Martin]

I'm Rachel Martin and this is Wildcard, the game where cards control the conversation. Each week, my guest answers questions about their life, questions pulled from a deck of cards. They're allowed to skip one and to flip one question back on me.

[Uzo Aduba]

I do believe heaven is closer than we think. I think it's right there, just out of reach. And they get to see everything that we're doing and they don't miss a birthday, a Christmas, a graduation, a birth.

[Rachel Martin]

My guest this week is Uzo Aduba.

[Uzo Aduba]

And it made me think, well, maybe that's where the expression best of both worlds comes from.

[Rachel Martin]

Uzo Aduba very nearly wasn't an actor. She wasn't getting traction in auditions, so she convinced herself she should just give it all up and go to law school. The same exact day she made that decision, she came home to a message saying that she had landed the part of Suzanne on the hit show Orange Is the New Black. Honestly, I'm pretty sure Uzo would have been a damn good lawyer. There's this sense of authority and competence under so many of her performances, whether playing Shirley Chisholm in Mrs. America or the therapist Brooke Taylor in the show. In treatment now, Uzo is working with Shonda Rhimes in her latest show, the Residence, where Uzo plays Detective Cordelia Cuppa, a woman who suffers zero fools. In this Netflix whodunit, black lady detectives are used to being the only one in a room. But Cordelia also has this other weight to bear because she is clearly the smartest person in every room that she's in. So she spends a lot of her time explaining things to people who can't keep up. So, yes, while a sliding door scenario might have taken Uzo Aduba in an entirely different professional direction, once you've watched her inhabit one of these characters, it is impossible to imagine her doing anything else. Uzo Aduba, welcome to Wildcard.

[Uzo Aduba]

Thank you so much, Rachel. Thanks for having me.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, I'm so pleased to get to talk to you and to do this with you. I think you're gonna dig it.

[Uzo Aduba]

I'm here for this. Excited.

[Rachel Martin]

All right, so round one. Memories. Okay, first three cards. Okay. One, two or three?

[Uzo Aduba]

I'm a middle child, so let's go with two.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, are you?

[Uzo Aduba]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay. Interesting. Middle child. Uh, when you were bored as a kid, where would your imagination take you.

[Uzo Aduba]

Too far?

[Rachel Martin]

Be more specific.

[Uzo Aduba]

I had a wild imagination, I think, as a parent. Now, God bless my parents, because I was like, into everything. I would build tree houses and have no contractor background and be laying, like, planks of wood down. Oh, my gosh. There was one time I actually wrote my college essay on this. It's like extreme belief, like a confidence and belief in oneself that I'm willing to try anything. And it was so my parents, when they bought our house, there was the remains, you know, the frameworks, the bones of a tree house behind in the backyard. And it just had like, you know, a couple planks you could stand on. And some years later, now I'm a little kid, whatever. And I had seen the movie Swiss Family Robinson.

[Rachel Martin]

Yes, that's right, you hadid.

[Uzo Aduba]

And they have this elaborate tree house in the woods, wherever it takes place. And by the tree were these planks of wood. And so I decided that I wanted to renovate this tree house, you know, gut it scaled up. Exactly. And so I took my father's toolbox from the garage. Nails. I have no skill set in this. Like, I'm like, this is incredible. 8, 10 years old. I loop my sister Chi Chi into this, and I'm hammering down one plank and it's extending off. And I'm like, we built this extension. I'm like, this is great. And I had this terrible idea, and I was like, chi Chi, go out to the end to see if it can bear our weight. And she was like, why me? And I was like, I'm gonna sit on the end because if I go, I'm heavier than you. It could all fall over now and all this work would have been lost. But if you go first, we can slowly be adding weight to see, you know, whatever.

[Rachel Martin]

Clever.

[Uzo Aduba]

Horrible, Horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible. She goes out to the end. I'm sitting on it. It holds her up. She turns around, she's like, it worked. And then I was like, okay, I'm gonna sit up. The second I started to, like, sit up, they come ripping out. Thankfully, she was okay. But those were the kind of harebrained, half baked ideas I was having as a kid. I would see something on TV and, like, be like, rock climbing. I'm gonna do that. And go get, like, bungee cords from, like, suitcases. You know, like back in the day.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[Uzo Aduba]

And use those to climb a rock and then be like, trapped there.

[Rachel Martin]

Sorry to sound like an old lady, but like children, this is what we used to do when we didn't have screens.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yeah, that's right. Outside.

[Rachel Martin]

That is so cool. Did you ever get in trouble for any of that stuff?

[Uzo Aduba]

Always.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, okay.

[Uzo Aduba]

I was. My mom, she was like also, she was like, real emphasis on the name. When I was really getting into it, she's like, this imagination of yours, it is too much. It's too big. You know, just stop everything. You know, I had a wild, wild imagination. No dream is too big.

[Rachel Martin]

That's pretty amazing that you had parents who made you think. Even though on the one hand your mom was like, don't kill yourself or others, clearly they were giving you some kind of foundation that made you think that you could do or dream anything.

[Uzo Aduba]

Definitely. I think it's absolutely true. Part of it was fueled by, you know, my parents are immigrants from Nigeria and the first from both their families to come to America. So there was no, no community for them when they came. They built that for themselves, but they were the first to dare, you know, and they were constantly beating the drum and filling my siblings and I up with the idea that we can do anything. And I foolishly or smartly believed them. I believed them. It worked out.

[Rachel Martin]

It worked out. Let's just say that. Okay, three new cards.

[Uzo Aduba]

Okay.

[Rachel Martin]

One, two or three.

[Uzo Aduba]

Let's go with. I don't know why I'm trying to apply strategy to this. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Let's go.

[Rachel Martin]

You'd be surprised at the number of people who actually do try to. Like.

[Uzo Aduba]

I legitimately was like, well, if the flu. You carry the wand and the flux capacitor, like, you can, you know, let's go with three.

[Rachel Martin]

Three. What's an experience from childhood that made you realize your parents were only human?

[Uzo Aduba]

Ooh. What's an experience from child. Like when I was a child that made me realize. Or later?

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, well, it can be whenever if it's not coming to you in childhood. Like, when's the first time you looked at your parents as people, not just your parents kind of thing?

[Uzo Aduba]

First time I looked at my parents as people, you know. You know, my parents, like I said, you know, immigrants came here working hard, five kids, very humble beginnings financially. Seven of us, and they lived in a three bedroom house for majority of my life, you know, and when I was really little, I think in the first, second grade, to help supplement the household income. My mom worked at McDonald's and I thought. And she was a social worker by trade. But she picked up a shift as a manager at a McDonald's and I thought it was so cool. Cause we got to go to McDonald's, we had free stuff, we had never gone. I thought it was so cool, so great, so amazing. I was like, this is awesome. You know, we get all the chicken nuggets we could ever ask for. Amazing. You know. And then cut to when I was in high school, we needed some supplemental income again. And she was working at a Sears in the clothing section. And my mom, I remember who has a double masters and working at Sears. And I felt so self conscious of it as a kid. And I'm not proud of this at all. I remember I was just such a brat to her. One day I came in there cause it was at the mall and I was afraid somebody was gonna see her. Cause I thought she was above it, whatever that even means. And she was just tolerant is the best I can say of my poor behavior. And I just remember realizing as a grown person, I guess that whatever version in my mind of her that I thought she was as like this fierce academic who had a certain profession, at the end of the day, she was just a mom who was doing whatever she needed to do to get by.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[Uzo Aduba]

And that was. It shifted and grew my respect for her in a way that I hadn't appreciated. And I wound up having to call her, you know, and she.

[Rachel Martin]

How'd she respond?

[Uzo Aduba]

Oh my gosh, she was the grace that she always gracious, the woman that she always was. She's like, oh Zo, don't you worry about that. You know, just nothing to forgive. There was nothing to forgive.

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[Rachel Martin]

I want to pull back now, though, because I want to talk about the residents.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yes.

[Rachel Martin]

Which is such a delight. It is such, such, such a delight. So this is a show you're working on, a show you made with Shonda Rhimes. It's on Netflix. Cordelia cup is the name of your character. This is just like a completely fun murder mystery in the spirit, sort of a knives out kind of ensemble cast. Explain to us who Cordelia Cupp is because she. I don't know that I've seen a character like Cordelia on TV before.

[Uzo Aduba]

Cordelia Cupp is a woman of her own cast or of her own type. She is quirky. She's the world's greatest detective.

[Rachel Martin]

She's the world's greatest detective.

[Uzo Aduba]

Listen, she didn't call herself that. That's what they say. Yeah. She's smart, she's persistent, she's insistent. She's an incredible listener.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[Uzo Aduba]

She doesn't miss a beat.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Speaking of which, I was watching the pilot episode for this and I was trying to, like, book my kid for his karate belt test at the same time. And I was like, wait, I can't actually multitask in this show because it's like coming at you. It's like Aaron Sorkin dialogue. It's fast, it's furious. You're gonna miss a plot point or some hilarious joke that.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yes, that part. It's the plot point and the joke. Like, it's pink. It's tennis, you know, and it has that real ping pong, back and forth rally, you know, volley energy to it. And you have to, much like the game of tennis, be paying attention and quick on your feet at all times or you're gonna miss a clue that is gonna help you solve the case in the end.

[Rachel Martin]

How did you decide? Her voice, it feels like her range is very narrow. She's just operating right here at all times.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yeah, that was the feeling. What I saw in the script was that she has a deck of cards in her hand. All of them are facing towards her. She does not turn the Cards over and reveal anything to anyone, not even to the people she's meant to report to. You know, she holds that all very close to the vest. And because of that and because of her keen ear for listening, she's catching every single word. Her voice to me started to become something that I wanted to mirror. Her visual blankness just had to have nothing, that it doesn't give away anything. And her voice to me felt one pitched slightly lower than my own and also felt slightly off the voice to not connect emotionally, if that makes sense.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, yeah, totally.

[Uzo Aduba]

So that she's just reading neutral, neutral, the facts. Just the facts now. Just neutral, just the facts, you know, kind of a thing. And I was definitely. Cause her voice is a little bit down here, and she's talking very quickly, and she doesn't move much of her mouth when she's talking because she's just sort of getting to the end of the sentence and everything is driving towards the answer. And after the first day, I was like, is this gonna work for six months? You know, is this gonna hot cheese? Was this the right choice? You know? But it felt right. It felt like, yes, everything should be be neutralized. And she is not here to get caught up in the emotions of the people she's speaking to, and she's not here to get caught up in the event that has occurred here. She's just here to solve the case.

[Rachel Martin]

I love the subversion of the stereotypes in this too, because it's the men spinning around her being hysterical and, like, acting hyper emotional and irrational. And she's just clearly the smartest one in the room. And she's just batting them away like flies as she works through her process of solving this crime.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yes. The thing about her that I think is so great is she cannot be distracted.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[Uzo Aduba]

She serves the job. Her only focus, her only priority is to be in service to the case. That's her passion. That's her love. That's her drive. She can't be interrupted.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah. Well, it's such a fun ride, this show. It's so many, many congratulations. It's so, so fun.

[Uzo Aduba]

Thanks. Thanks.

[Rachel Martin]

Okay, we're gonna get back into this game. You feel like you're ready for round two?

[Uzo Aduba]

Born ready.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, totally. Let's do it.

[Uzo Aduba]

Okay.

[Rachel Martin]

So round two. Round two.

[Uzo Aduba]

Oh, blue cards.

[Rachel Martin]

Blue cards. Thank you for noticing. Insights is what this round is called. One, two, or three.

[Uzo Aduba]

Let's go back to number one.

[Rachel Martin]

Let's do it. Hmm. What's a quality you're drawn to, but you don't possess? Ooh, Right.

[Uzo Aduba]

A quality I'm drawn to. This is gonna sound so random, but the butterfly stroke.

[Rachel Martin]

I.

[Uzo Aduba]

Gymnastics.

[Rachel Martin]

I love that. That was the first thing that came to your mind.

[Uzo Aduba]

I have watched kids, people do the butterfly in awe.

[Rachel Martin]

And let's be honest, it's a crazy thing to do. I, too, am like. I don't understand how you're making your body go like that and you're going so fast at the same time.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yes. They look like they're flying in water or like actual dolphins. I wish I could do that. I can't do it. And I've tried. I don't have the stamina. I don't have the wingspan. I don't have the ability to get out of the water. It's just wild. And there was this girl growing up when I was a kid. Her name was Jennifer. I don't remember her last name. Who was on the swim team at the swim pond where we used to go. And I would just watch her. She was fierce. And I thought it was just, like magic, like watching, like, Jordan on water or something. Do this butterfly. I wish I could do it. I can't.

[Rachel Martin]

What was your stroke? What was your. What's your.

[Uzo Aduba]

The backstroke. I did the backstroke. The backstroke.

[Rachel Martin]

That's where it's.

[Uzo Aduba]

The backstroke. Yeah. Comfortable. It's lounging. It's relaxing. It's a glorified luxury sport of that.

[Rachel Martin]

All right, next three cards. One, two or three?

[Uzo Aduba]

Okay, let's go with three.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, I like this one. I mean, I like all of them. What's something you've had to give up as you have grown up?

[Uzo Aduba]

Something I've had to give up as I've grown up. McDonald's. Can I say that on Amber? Come on.

[Rachel Martin]

This is like. McDonald's is gonna be crazy. They're like, first she's praising us. She gets all the you can eat nuggets when she's a kid, and now she's like, she doesn't eat it anymore.

[Uzo Aduba]

No, I know. Maybe fast food or. Yeah, yeah, Just junk food. Junk food. Maybe we'll say junk food. I'm trying to live a more healthy life. I've limited it more.

[Rachel Martin]

You've got a baby.

[Uzo Aduba]

I got a baby.

[Rachel Martin]

And is that part of the calculation on just modeling good choices or just wanting to make sure you're around for as long as possible?

[Uzo Aduba]

It's that part. It's modeling good choices. And it's also. I got a lot of milestones beyond my own life that I wanna reach and see. You know, I wanna see Some of those big moments and trying to pour into the bank, I guess. Yeah. To try and do my very best to make sure that I get to see those remarkable things that I have no doubt she's gonna do. So how old is she? Definitely? She's 16 months next week.

[Rachel Martin]

Oh, she's a really. Is a baby.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yeah, exactly. So I have, like. I gotta pay into this.

[Rachel Martin]

Holy cow. Like, you're. I mean, you're still in, like. Do you wake up in the night? Is she sleeping?

[Uzo Aduba]

I've been up since 4 this morning.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[Uzo Aduba]

Cause she woke up. Woke up this morning. She woke up. Yeah. You know, we're sleeping more. It's different than the newborn phase, you know? But I don't sleep till they were.

[Rachel Martin]

Three years old, each of them.

[Uzo Aduba]

Oh, really?

[Rachel Martin]

Yes.

[Uzo Aduba]

Oh, my gosh. God bless you. Yes.

[Rachel Martin]

No, it was.

[Uzo Aduba]

Wow. You are a warrior. No. Okay.

[Rachel Martin]

No. A real warrior would have let their baby cry it out and, like, ripped the band aid off this thing. But I'm weak, and so I go into the baby every time that they were upset, and that's.

[Uzo Aduba]

We all do. Yeah, we all do.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah. Okay, next set. One, two, or three?

[Uzo Aduba]

Let's do three again.

[Rachel Martin]

What's something you feel has passed you by?

[Uzo Aduba]

Hmm. Booty shorts. Let's see. What has passed me by. Something that has passed me by. Yeah. I don't know if I feel like anything has passed me by. I very strongly believe that anything can come from tomorrow, and literally anything is possible. So I don't think. I believe that. If I believed that, as a mature woman, having a daughter, I wouldn't have done that. But having her solidified for me, that there's still room for even the big dreams that feel like they might be coming up against the edge or the fringe, you know?

[Rachel Martin]

Parenthood for you was a dream parent.

[Uzo Aduba]

Mm. I just don't know if I think. Yeah, I don't think anything has passed me by. And that, by the way, when I say that, it's like mothering, you know, it could have taken another shape, but it still wouldn't have been too late. Maybe if I. You know, adoption, surrogacy, it's never like. That's what just makes me think. Yeah. I just don't think anything is. It's too late for anything.

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[Rachel Martin]

Last round. Beliefs. 1, 2 or 3?

[Uzo Aduba]

I'm going to do. And by the way, just to have said it now, I'm very much enjoying this game. I'm so glad I'm enjoying it. Let's do one.

[Rachel Martin]

One.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yes, please.

[Rachel Martin]

Have you made peace with mortality? You yourself?

[Uzo Aduba]

For me? Yeah, I have. In the sense that I'm not afraid of it in the same way that I once was. And I say that from the very comfortable position of not being faced with it currently. Yeah, right.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yeah. But something. Cause both my parents are gone now. Me too. Well, something that gives me strange comfort because I know people in the club. You know what I mean? It's like it's not scary to go. Cause I'll. I'll see people I know there who I love and who I miss desperately. So that gives me comfort. I guess the only thing about it. I'll echo something that my mom had said. You know, I asked her once, I said, mommy, are you afraid of dying? When she was ill. And she said, no, I just wish I had a little more time.

[Rachel Martin]

Yep.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

Isn't it always dust?

[Uzo Aduba]

And I think that's. I think it's that for me, too. I don't want to die. I just. I want more time.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah, we're greedy.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yeah.

[Rachel Martin]

One, two or three?

[Uzo Aduba]

Three. Lucky number three.

[Rachel Martin]

Is there anything in your life that has felt predestined?

[Uzo Aduba]

No. Is there anything in My life that has felt predestined. Predestined.

[Rachel Martin]

Is that a concept that you connect with?

[Uzo Aduba]

Not particularly, no. My life hasn't really gone that way. I mean, I've had angels, is what I call them. Teachers or neighbors or parents who have, at moments in my life, guided me and have been the guardrails that have led me, say, into this business when it definitely wasn't something that I pursued as an idea on my own. But I don't even know if I necessarily think that is predestined. Maybe the closest thing I can think of, but that I don't even know if I necessarily think it's predestined, is motherhood. I did know for sure. I always wanted to be a mother. I knew that. And when my daughter was born and that first night, not like immediately after she came up, but that first night, I remember feeling a completion of some kind, that all of my life to that moment was now complete. Like, this was the final piece. And she'll be the one to go on record to say whether I'm a good mother or not, but one day, please. But when I'm with her, I just feel as though I was always supposed to do this.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[Uzo Aduba]

So I don't know if that falls under that 10 or not.

[Rachel Martin]

No, we're gonna keep it there. I wonder, though, if you think. Well, I should just say my experience. I also very much wanted to be a mom, a parent, not so much in my 20s. But then my 30s came around. I was like, yeah, but my mom had died by the time I found my partner, my husband, and we had kids. And so I love my kids so much. And.

[Uzo Aduba]

Wait, how many do you have, son?

[Rachel Martin]

I have two. I have two kids. Two boys. They're 12 and 10. But there's, like, a grief attached that my mom didn't meet them or even that she didn't get to know that that was a part of life that I was gonna get to experience. And I wonder if you feel the same.

[Uzo Aduba]

Oh, absolutely. Without question. I definitely know that feeling for sure, because this huge figure in my life, you know, my mom was my hero, full stop, period. She's my favorite person in the world. I loved her, love her so much, you know, and so I was just so bummed out with, number one, somebody who I was so connected with. We were just alike. My mom just. She used to say, we're of the same rib. You and I are of the same rib as Adam made Eve. I made you in my image, you know? And I was so Bummed out that my favorite person wasn't going to be able to be part of it. But I have to say, and I don't know if this is true for you or if you had this experience. What I have learned in the time of being a mom is so much of her lives in me. Truly, truly does. And an example would be my mother. Classic nanya maduba phrase saying as like a don't do that expression is with a finger wag saying, no, no, no, always three and sing songy like that. That's a classic ism of non nims. And one day my daughter, I don't even know what she was doing. She was doing something, getting into something. And I do not say that phrase. But out of nowhere I was like, adiba, no, no, no. And I was like, who is that who's talking right now? And it dawned on me in that moment, oh, she's right here. I am because of her. And she is going to already be a part of the story because she's in me. It's baked in. And I do believe on my own side of the aisle not to get so woo woo. But I love the woo. I do believe heaven is closer than we think. And I think it's right there, just out of reach. And they get to see all those be with all those who went before them, who they loved all day. And they get to experience watching everything that we're doing. And they don't miss a birthday, a Christmas, a graduation, a christening, a holiday, a birth. They see all of it. And it made me think, well, maybe that's where the expression best of both worlds comes from. You know, they get to be in both places at once. And we're over here crying that they're gone. And then when we go and move to heaven, it's like, I didn't miss a thing. You know, my mom's gonna be over there. Like, I saw it all, my dear. I saw everything. And you were over there crying for nothing, you know?

[Rachel Martin]

So we end the show the same way every time. And that is with a trip in our memory time machine.

[Uzo Aduba]

Okay, here we go.

[Rachel Martin]

You choose one moment from your past. It is not a moment that you would change anything about. It is just a moment you would like to linger in a little longer. What moment do you choose?

[Uzo Aduba]

It's just a moment. I'd like to linger in a little longer. I think it will have to be the. I'm just gonna go with the first thing that came into my mind. Senior portrait day in high school.

[Rachel Martin]

Not usually a thing that people want to relive. I'm already intrigued.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yes. This was a turning point for me. And these were the fancy school pictures. Cause it was the senior year picture, you know, so kind of like a photo shoot. And he's taking my picture. I'm laughing and being myself and chill, easy. And as soon as he would take his camera up to take my picture, I would stop laughing. Wide mouth. And start smiling like this.

[Rachel Martin]

Mouth shut.

[Uzo Aduba]

Yep, mouth shut. And he said to me, you know, why do you keep smiling like that? And I said, I don't know. And he said, no, why, what's it about? And I said, I don't like my gap. Because I was very self conscious of my gap at that time. I wanted braces so bad.

[Rachel Martin]

The gap in your teeth. Yeah.

[Uzo Aduba]

And I just remember he had his camera in his hand and he just said, like, I think you have a beautiful smile. And my mom had been saying that to me my whole life. My family, everybody. And I never believed it. But that day, for some reason, I believed him for the first time. He was the first person I ever believed. And it stuck with me. I don't know who that guy is.

[Rachel Martin]

What a gift.

[Uzo Aduba]

But I owe him a lot.

[Rachel Martin]

Yeah.

[Uzo Aduba]

And I can. It just changed in my head. Like it didn't matter what the outside thinks. It's what do I think? And so now I smile all the time. And I always say I think it's because I'm making up for lost smiles. And my mother actually used to hate that story. Cause she's like, I used to tell you, I told you all the time you had a beautiful smile. Now this random man comes and says to you, now you believe him. You know, she hated it. So I was like, this ridiculous story my daughter's telling.

[Rachel Martin]

No, we can hear the same message for years and years and years. And sometimes you just have to be open in a different time and place and a different person has to tell you the impression.

[Uzo Aduba]

Correct.

[Rachel Martin]

And it sinks into you in a new way.

[Uzo Aduba]

Correct. But that has lived in my DNA forever. And if I could even go and revisit that moment and appreciate it, then I wish I could so I could smile on that day, on that picture day. But it stayed with me. I think you have a beautiful smile.

[Rachel Martin]

You can see right now in the show. The residence Uzo Aduba. It has been such a pleasure to talk with you. Thank you so much for doing this.

[Uzo Aduba]

Thank you so much for having me.

[Rachel Martin]

If you want more with Uzo, check out this week's Wildcard plus, where she talks about staying real, whether that's my.

[Uzo Aduba]

Gap, whether it's my full lips, whether that's my broad nose, whether that's my body, whether that's my name, whether that's the way I move through the world.

[Rachel Martin]

You can hear that answer by signing up for Wildcard plus, which is an excellent way to support our show and public radio. And you get to listen. Sponsor free. Find out [e-mail] Wildcard this episode was produced by Chris Benderev and edited by Romel Wood. It was mastered by Patrick Murray. Our supervisor editor is Dave Blanchard. Wildcard's executive producer is Yolanda Sangweni. Our theme music is by Ramtin Arablouei. You can reach out to [e-mail] we love it when you do. We will shuffle the deck and be back with more next week. Talk to you then.

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