Podcast Summary: With The Perrys
Episode: Infertility and Finding God After Unanswered Prayer with Jennifer Lucy Tyler
Date: October 6, 2025
Hosts: Preston Perry & Jackie Hill Perry
Guest: Jennifer Lucy Tyler
Episode Overview
This powerful episode explores themes of infertility, unanswered prayers, and discovering deeper intimacy with God amid long seasons of waiting and disappointment. The Perrys welcome guest Jennifer Lucy Tyler, author of When Dreams Fall Apart: How Unanswered Prayers Can Deepen Your Intimacy with God, to share her deeply personal story of infertility, loss, faith, and the hard-won joys of motherhood. Through candid discussion, scripture reflection, and practical advice, the conversation offers hope and solidarity to anyone facing delayed or unmet desires—and shows how God’s presence and sovereignty meet us in uncertainty.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Introducing Jennifer Lucy Tyler & Her Story
- Background: Jennifer introduces her book, born from years of waiting, loss, and wrestling with God's silence regarding infertility.
- Why Share the Story:
"Every believer, every Christian… there’s something that they are praying for or trusting the Lord for that has not yet been answered. There’s a tension there. There’s that—I call it the 'messy middle.'"
(Jennifer Lucy Tyler, 03:50)
2. Journey Through Infertility
- Jennifer’s Experience: Married in 2011, conceived quickly but miscarried, then years of infertility and shame followed. She questioned if she was doing something wrong, which led to internalized sorrow and anger towards God.
"I thought I’m doing all the right things... I started comparing myself. I would see different people be blessed that I thought maybe didn’t deserve to be blessed in that way… So I struggled."
(Jennifer, 07:14) - Question of Faith: Wrestling with the idea that faith should produce results:
"I had to unlearn some unhealthy views and theology about how I view God at the time… believing that my faith is able to produce everything that I want."
(Jennifer, 09:00)
3. Theology of Unanswered Prayer & God’s Will
- Sovereignty vs. Faith:
"I had to understand and learn about the sovereignty of God... it is 'his will be done, not my will.'"
(Jennifer, 12:04) - Allowing Room for Lament:
Jennifer explains it's vital to create space to grieve unmet hopes."It’s okay to go through a season of, you know, this is hard and sorrow with it. But I’m going to hope in who you are and trust that whatever you have for me is good."
(Jennifer, 12:18)
4. The Impact on Husbands and Marriages
- Men’s Grief:
Preston and Jennifer highlight the overlooked emotional burden men carry in infertility, often quietly:"He didn’t necessarily show that to me. But... by me seeing him stressed... that would also be even more painful for me."
(Jennifer, 14:10) - How Husbands Can Support:
Jennifer urges men to honor the immediacy of a woman’s attachment to pregnancy and to care for their wives following loss and trauma.
"The moment we get that positive pregnancy test, we are pregnant with child... an attachment starts from the moment we find out."
(Jennifer, 17:17)
5. The Role of Community During the Wait
- Supporting Each Other:
Community is vital in holding up those who are weary in faith, referencing Moses, Aaron, and Hur (Exodus 17)."Yes, I’mma take you out to eat... whatever I need to do to make sure that you do not grow weary in well doing. But I also need to do the due diligence of making sure you’re sitting on that rock."
(Jackie, 45:51)
6. Lament as a Gift
-
Embracing Lament:
Lament is not to be rushed, but valued as “sorrow with hope.”"Lament is a gift… it’s healing to take time, to process, to grieve. Sometimes you gotta cry it out and you can’t rush through that."
(Jennifer, 27:16) -
Biblical Example:
Jackie reads from Lamentations 3, emphasizing the hope that emerges from honest sorrow. (28:25–28:40) -
Why We Avoid Grief:
"People are just uncomfortable seeing other people grieve… They want to get you over to the other side instead of knowing how to sit with grief themselves."
(Jennifer, 30:28)
7. The Mixed Emotions of Community & “Exile” in the Church
-
Feeling Left Out:
Jennifer describes the sense of “exile” experienced when life seasons change and former communities move on."The church or people around you can unknowingly exile you... instead of just saying, just extending that invitation, still bringing me in if I wanted to be brought in."
(Jennifer, 35:10–36:14) -
Navigating Blessing When Others Still Wait:
Both sides must hope the best for one another and allow space for complex emotions (38:53–39:28).
8. Wrestling With Long-Term Unanswered Prayer
- Loss of Faith Over Time:
Jennifer recounts a moment of deep discouragement after a second miscarriage, when community encouragement carried her (41:09–42:09). - Women’s Unique Pressure:
The added layer of biological limitation is discussed candidly:"Women have a different set of battles... my body, my ovaries, my fallopian tubes..."
(Jackie, 42:14–42:33)
9. When the Joy Finally Arrives & Responsibilities of Answered Prayer
- Birth of Her Daughter:
"That final little embryo, I got the courage to say, all right, let's try and. She was born August 15, 2023. Her name is Justice Joy."
(Jennifer, 46:23) - Stewarding the Answered Prayer:
The joy of the blessing also entails new coping, sacrifices, and spiritual vigilance."Now that the answered prayer is here, there were things that I needed to understand... a temptation to not be satisfied or to... idolize the answered prayer."
(Jennifer, 47:08)
10. Encouragement for Listeners Still Waiting
- Hope in God, Not Outcomes:
"Your story may not necessarily be my story... I share my story to encourage hope. But what I want you to have hope in is not in my story, not in my testimony, but in God."
(Jennifer, 49:25) - God’s Will & Sovereignty:
"He wants to focus on: do you believe I am the God that can do all things?" (Preston, 51:05)
- Holy Spirit’s Work in Unanswered Prayers:
Jackie highlights Romans 8:26—how the Spirit intercedes for us and God always answers according to our true needs in his wisdom (52:41–53:25).
11. The Lifeline of Scripture in Suffering
- Importance of Staying Rooted:
"When you’re sitting with the text and allowing the Holy Spirit to minister... healing comes in that, grace comes in that, that gives you the power to endure."
(Jennifer, 54:39) - Temptations of Unhealthy Coping:
"You may find yourself coping... by mindless scrolling, or alcohol, or whatever... My encouragement for anyone is… to use the scriptures to cope."
(Jennifer, 55:37)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On faith and expectation:
"I had to get to the place of ‘But God, what is your perfect will?’ and to be okay with his perfect will not looking like what I expected."
– Jennifer Lucy Tyler (12:18) -
On grief as a gift:
"Lament is simply sorrow with hope."
– Jennifer Lucy Tyler (27:15) -
On infant loss:
"Miscarriages are traumatic... her body has went through some trauma... I need to care for her."
– Jennifer Lucy Tyler (20:40) -
On the role of men:
"A lot of times, men don’t have an outlet to actually show that expression in their house... He needed to process all of that as well."
– Preston Perry (15:44), Jennifer Lucy Tyler (15:57) -
On spiritual honesty:
"There was a time where I realized I had made this thing that I desired... an idol in my life."
– Jennifer Lucy Tyler (23:30) -
On the faithfulness of God:
"Even though my subtitle is how unanswered prayers can deepen your intimacy with God, we know that God does… answer prayers, but with that, there’s things that come with that."
– Jennifer Lucy Tyler (48:37)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- Jennifer's infertility journey & initial emotions (06:23–09:00)
- Deconstructing ‘just have faith’ theology (09:00–12:18)
- Lament and the God-given right to grieve (26:20–28:56)
- How and why to walk alongside others through waiting/pain (44:30–46:12)
- Birth of Jennifer's daughter and stewardship of blessing (46:23–48:37)
- Advice for others still waiting (49:18–51:32)
- Scripture’s role in seasons of disappointment (54:39–55:37)
Tone & Style
The entire episode maintains the Perrys' signature warmth, candor, and humor, while honoring the sensitivity and depth of Jennifer’s journey. Spiritual truths are shared accessibly, with vulnerability—making this conversation both comforting and equipping.
Closing Thoughts
Through Jennifer’s testimony and the Perrys’ reflections, listeners are reminded that faith is not a transaction; God’s answers are not always predictable, but his presence is faithful in every season. Biblical lament, honest community, and persistent reliance on God shape us during the “messy middle” of life—a truth for anyone facing waiting or disappointment.
Find Jennifer Lucy Tyler’s book, "When Dreams Fall Apart: How Unanswered Prayers Can Deepen Your Intimacy with God," via the link in episode notes.