With The Perrys – A Conversation on Sex, Dating, and Beauty with The Azonwus

Released: May 6, 2024
Hosts: Preston Perry & Jackie Hill Perry
Guests: Ezekiel & Kyana Azonwu

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and unfiltered episode, The Perrys are joined by Ezekiel and Kyana Azonwu to discuss the real challenges and blessings of marriage, sex, dating, beauty standards, friendship, spiritual growth, and navigating life as a couple in ministry with a full family. The conversation is full of candor, humor, practical insights, and vulnerability—touching on topics like addiction, attraction, the sovereignty of God in relationships, how beauty impacts dating, the enduring importance of character, and the hard work required to sustain intimacy in marriage. The episode offers wisdom and relatable experiences for singles, dating couples, and married folk alike.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening & Introducing The Azonwus

(00:45–02:00)

• Kyana speaks about not typically doing podcasts, joking about now being pressured to accept invitations.
• The Perrys and Azonwus establish a warm, humorous atmosphere with playful banter about their friendship and the Azonwus’ dynamic life and story.

2. Overcoming Pornography & Sin—Ezekiel’s Honest Testimony

(02:45–11:59)

• Ezekiel transparently recounts an embarrassing formative moment where pornography unexpectedly played on his phone during church—a story filled with both comedy and humility.
  • “Somehow, some way, I was sitting in church... the tab must have been touched... I was actively actually worshiping in church and praising God.” (03:31, D)
  • Kyana describes her embarrassment and sense of divine justice: “It’s like, yeah, that served you right. Like I felt like, uh huh. Yeah. Yep, that’s God talking to [you].” (05:29, C)
• Ezekiel draws a parallel to drug addiction, emphasizing the depth of his struggle and how God’s mercy began to convict him.
• Key insight: It's difficult to break free from certain sins until one personally apprehends how they offend God, not just by hearing mixed messages from others.
• He talks about the poem “Exodus,” which grew from his journey to find biblical clarity on the sinfulness of pornography and masturbation, ultimately concluding that all sex outside God’s intended design is perversion and hinders intimacy and unity.
  • “There’s an aspect to intimacy that requires two bodies to become one… So when we engage in the act of masturbation, we’re stepping outside of God’s design.” (10:55, D)

3. Returning to Sin: The Pain and Mercy of God’s Deliverance

(11:59–14:37)

• Both Preston and Ezekiel reflect on the unique torment and mercy that comes when a believer returns to sin after deliverance.
  • “The funny thing about sin is you could live comfortable with it your whole life, but once you were made aware how offensive it is to a holy and righteous God, it becomes… a nagging something in your heart…” (13:06, B)
• The group highlights that true deliverance changes your affections—what used to satisfy brings discomfort, which is actually a gift of mercy.

4. How The Azonwus Met: Attraction & God’s Wisdom

(14:38–24:33)

• Kyana shares their first meeting story, initially not feeling attraction due to being in another relationship.
• Ezekiel describes how at first he did not notice Kyana’s beauty, attributing it to God veiling his eyes until he was spiritually prepared.
  • “God was just working on my heart…in my lustful mode…with her I just really wanted to see her, and the more that she showed her honor for the Lord, I was just so drawn to her.” (22:27, D)
• Kyana called Ezekiel after church, and his corny but heartfelt “You can call me any time” made their romantic intentions clear.

5. Redefining Beauty and Attraction in Relationships

(24:44–28:42)

• The group discusses the cultural obsession with external beauty and the pitfalls of dating primarily for aesthetics.
• Kyana argues that true ugliness is found in character, not appearance.
  • “There’s a lot of people, their inside shines on the outside…Everybody just two steps away from being ugly anyway.” (25:40, C)
• The panel notes the tendency for everyone to pursue the same “universal” standard of beauty, ignoring compatibility and substance.
  • “What will sustain us is your character… your walk, and your intimacy with God. And the Bible says that beauty is fleeting, so what will we be when you’re 80?” (28:28, A)

6. Vanity, Friendship, and the Importance of Community

(28:43–38:36)

• The conversation pivots to the need for friendship as a foundation for marriage.

• Ezekiel stresses the value of slow, organic discernment and deep friendships, rather than immediate romantic intent.

• The church’s role in cultivating healthy male-female friendships is emphasized as a corrective to the “dating for aesthetics” mentality.

• On sovereignty, Jackie and Preston reflect that while practical steps like attending events are helpful, God’s will and timing remain central.

  • “Either God is in control, or he isn’t…If God wants you to be married…devils, demons, ugly ain’t gonna keep you from your husband.” (38:42, A)

7. Making Room for God’s Sovereignty & Organic Relationship Building

(38:37–40:02)

• Preston observes that often, God’s best for us comes as we participate in organic, faithful community, not through forced efforts.
  • “God is the master of setting us up. But we mess up when we try to set our own self up.” (39:45, B)

8. Forgiveness, Growth, and Patience in Marriage

(40:02–44:47)

• Jackie asks Kyana how she handled Ezekiel’s struggles with pornography.
  • Kyana shares how God convicted her to intercede for Ezekiel rather than distancing herself, growing her patience and grace for him.
  • “God gave me a grace for him and that is how we are here today.” (43:06, C)
• The two couples discuss how each partner often has what the other needs most in marriage, fostering mutual growth.

9. Getting Married Young & The Value of Premarital Tools

(44:48–48:50)

• The Azonwus share about marrying at 21—with little preparation, minimal resources, no marriage counseling, and no discipleship—and how that led to predictable struggles.
  • “We got married too young with no tools…some things you just going to go through. You don’t know what the future holds.” (47:41, C)
  • Ezekiel reflects: “What does it mean to honor each other’s bodies and protect each other’s assignments? The stuff that we know now…” (48:02, D)

10. Sex, Discipleship, and Healing Sexual Brokenness in Marriage

(48:51–54:25)

• The group addresses the common problem: passion before marriage dissipates after covenant, leaving couples frustrated.
  • “I think the enemy wants us to be liberal with our bodies before marriage and then in covenant…wants us to be stingy with our bodies.” (46:28, A)
• They emphasize communication and trusted community support as practical tools for restoring intimacy.
  • “Communication has helped me in my marriage…I think what the devil really wants is us to be offended, and he wants us to shut down.” (49:18, B)
  • “We need to normalize…having a dynamic where we lean and glean from couples who’ve been married for years.” (50:44, D)
• Preston points out the discipleship gap: helping men be patient, helping women see the spiritual implications of “weaponizing” sex.

11. Balancing Marriage, Work, and Family—Staying Intimate

(54:26–62:29)

• The Azonwus share their practical approach: doing business, parenting, and household management together, blurring traditional “roles” to stay connected.
  • "We do a lot of it together...We run the business together. We take care of the kids together." (54:57, C)
  • Ezekiel: “She likes quality activity…When we’re working together, at the end of the day, she’s like, ‘I had a great day with you.’” (56:16, D)
• Humor breaks out as the group admits how marital intimacy helps men work better, and the need to also meet wives’ unique needs.
• Both couples agree on the importance of integrating friendship, affection, business, and shared faith as a source of joy and resilience.

12. The Power of Community, Legacy, and New Projects

(62:29–End)

• Ezekiel and Kyana promote their new “We Need To Talk” podcast and upcoming event, dedicated to repairing generational divides and building healthy marriages and singles’ communities.
  • “We really want to see restoration and reconciliation for this generation of singles and married people.” (63:13, D)

Memorable Quotes

• On sin and deliverance:

  • “When you go back [to sin], it’s kind of like, ugh. And I think that's a mercy.” (14:02, B)

• On sexuality and God’s design:

  • “Any form of sex outside God’s design is perversion…and that’s the heart behind that.” (10:55, D)

• On beauty and attraction:

  • “Everybody just two steps away from being ugly anyway…money really does help change people.” (25:40, C)

• On friendship as foundation:

  • “Those are the best relationships…because you started off as friends and you’re still friends to this day.” (32:30, B)

• On God’s sovereignty:

  • “If God wants you to be married…devils, demons, ugly ain’t gonna keep you from your husband.” (38:42, A)

• On patience and grace:

  • “God designed her to have a level of patience for me, for my growth…his distinct, unique grace that he put in a vessel that was designed for me.” (43:06–43:43, D)

• On the struggles of early marriage:

  • “We didn’t get married too young; we got married too young with no tools.” (47:40, C)

• On reimagining Christian culture:

  • “If we could extend that heart that we have for our blood relatives to the body and not create this dichotomy…we can benefit from that.” (36:46, D)

• On balancing life and love:

  • “Surrounding the hard things with the fun things helps…having sex and then doing business gives me fuel to do that.” (59:51, D)

Notable Segments (with Timestamps)

• Ezekiel’s porn-in-church story – 02:45–06:45
• Discussion on sin, conviction, and deliverance – 11:59–14:37
• How the Azonwus met—different perspectives – 14:38–24:33
• Vanity, friendship, and God’s design for community – 28:43–38:36
• Practical advice on discipleship and marriage intimacy – 48:51–54:25
• Maintaining intimacy with work, family, and ministry – 54:26–62:29
• Announcement of ‘We Need To Love’ event and resources – 63:13–End

Final Thoughts

This episode delivers a generous mix of laughter, transparency, spiritual depth, and practical wisdom for Christians navigating singleness, dating, marriage, and friendship. The Perrys and Azonwus model honest conversations about personal failures and marital victories, reminding listeners that God’s grace and sovereignty are greater than our mistakes, and that true beauty and intimacy are ultimately sustained by friendship, character, faith, and community—not fleeting aesthetics or performance.

Listen if you want: Real talk about relationships, wise advice for singles, transparency around addiction and healing, and encouragement for thriving in Christ-centered community and marriage.