Christian Endurance, Fashion, and People Pleasing (A Q&A Episode)

Summary

With The Perrys Podcast Summary

Episode: Christian Endurance, Fashion, and People Pleasing (A Q&A Episode)
Hosts: Preston Perry & Jackie Hill Perry (with Amanda Reed and Channing McBride)
Date: October 21, 2024

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Episode Overview

In this conversational Q&A episode, the Perrys dive deep into questions about Christian endurance, marriage, spiritual warfare, church life, parenting, fashion, and the distinction between kindness and people-pleasing. With their signature blend of humor, honesty, and theological insight, Preston and Jackie Hill Perry (joined by Amanda Reed and Channing McBride) explore how Christians can persevere through difficulty, cultivate style without vanity, and raise thoughtful children in a pluralistic world.

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Main Discussion Points & Key Insights

Christian Endurance: Why Is the Christian Life So Hard?

• Spiritual Struggle & Endurance
  • The hosts reflect on why so much of life—marriage, parenting, friendships, mental and emotional health—is "warfare" (02:43).
  • Jackie suggests that spiritual difficulty is inevitable: “Why everything gotta be so hard? ...The answer is because we're not in heaven....it’s a fight to the finish, but it’s a fight that's fixed.” (02:43)
  • Preston brings up Hebrews: “If you look at him [Jesus], then you'll keep going, you'll endure, you'll do all the stuff. Cuz it ain't like he didn't come down here and have to do the hard stuff too. He did the hardest thing.” (03:46–04:19)
• The Cost of Faithful Ministry
  • Channing references 1 Peter 4: “The righteous will scarcely be saved. ...that word ‘scarcely’ means hard.” (04:58)
  • Suffering and endurance are not signs of failure, but part of following Jesus: “You can't hit the enemy and feel like the enemy ain't gonna hit you back.” (06:44)
• Temptations During Struggle
  • Preston identifies three ways Christians might respond to hardship:
    1. Rejecting God entirely
    2. Changing God’s standards to fit comfort
    3. “Take your foot off the gas”—not leaving the faith, but losing zeal (07:43)

Wrestling with Discouragement: Jesus as Empathetic High Priest

• Christ’s Empathy
  • Preston emphasizes that Jesus faced temptation directly from Satan: “We be just dealing with little demons. Jesus had to fight the devil, he had the big dog.” (14:14)
  • Channing reflects: “The fact that God will become flesh and subject himself to that type of mental suffering is nuts.” (17:55)
• Help in Weakness
  • Christ’s empathy “gives us confidence that we can freely come to him without shame....there’s help and grace.” (18:39–19:27)
  • Notable quote: “He didn't just die for you, but he became man to empathize with the fact that you're weak.” (19:00)

Navigating Spiritual Warfare, Testing, and Deliverance

• God’s Sovereignty in Suffering & Temptation
  • Even when the enemy attacks, it’s not without purpose: “We don't experience purposeless evil...God is using it.” (12:28)
  • “All the enemy can do is tempt. The Lord tests, the devil tempts.” (13:32)
• Asking for Deliverance
  • Preston shares his growth in prayer—learning not just to seek practical help but to directly ask God for deliverance (20:41).
  • “There are some wars, some walls, strongholds that therapy can't fix...God has to do it.” (21:55)

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Audience Q&A

Remarrying after a Spouse Passes (25:15)

• Jackie humorously asserts she would not remarry: “If you die, I am single till it's time to meet Christ. Because what am I doing this again for? For what?” (23:05)
• Discussion on why widows remarry less often than widowers, with thoughts on companionship and the unique needs of men and women (24:07).

Choosing a Church as a Couple (25:15–29:27)

• The importance of shared discernment and seeking God as a team.
• Channing: “If both churches give you everything...which serves your children better? ...pray about it...the Lord will lead y’all together.” (26:34)
• Jackie shares an example of praying for God to give Preston clarity in choosing between churches, stepping back and trusting God to unite their decision (27:52).

Talking to Kids About Other Religions (29:37–35:03)

• Channing: “I'm a really big fan of not having a reactionary faith...How can you develop good thinkers, you know what I'm saying? ...A lot of times, when people leave ...it’s not that these worldviews are convincing, it’s because they haven’t been taught how to think.” (30:12)
• Preston cautions against parenting out of fear, urging healthy dialogue at home: “It is healthy for a child to wrestle through doubts with their parent than...with the devil...or in college.” (32:36)
• Jackie plans to assign her kids secular readings as they reach middle school: “I want you to be very aware of what is out there in the world, and I want us to talk through how you think about it.” (34:23)

Building Outfits and Navigating Christian Fashion

• Both hosts see fashion as creativity, not vanity. Jackie: “It's not vanity. It's beauty. We like beautiful things.” (35:18)
• Channing connects fashion to poetry: “My fashion sense is no different than my poetry. It’s a reflection of how I feel...that day or season.” (36:13)
• Jackie discusses confidence and freedom in evolving personal style.
• Practical tips:
  • “People need to know their body ...know how to accentuate or decentuate certain body types.” (40:30)
  • “Skinny jeans aren't all the way out... but maybe for certain demographics.” (43:01)
• Criticism of Christian fashion tropes and pressure to “look a certain way” to be accepted in church communities, with both humor and candor.

Being Kind vs. Being a People Pleaser (55:10–59:51)

• Jackie: “Kindness is a benevolence towards someone at the sacrifice of your own needs and desires. ...People pleasing means I'm doing nice stuff so that you'll accept me.” (56:12, 56:49)
• True kindness is Spirit-produced and sometimes costly. It may require boundaries, hard conversations, and disappointing others who are used to your acquiescence.
• Channing’s litmus test: “If you're trying to just chase out the appearance of kindness and not the reality of it, you're probably a people pleaser.” (57:51)
• Kindness is sparked by prayer and God’s prompting, not by fear of rejection or need for approval (58:22–59:21).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Enduring the Hard Christian Life:
  “When my grandmother got to heaven ...she would have said, man. I remember in 1997 when my son was murdered, I thought I wasn’t going to make it.... But I'm here because your hand was on me. I'm here because you kept me.” – Channing (05:41)

• On God's Sovereignty in Suffering:
  “We don’t experience purposeless evil. ...God is using it.” – Channing (12:26)

• On Criticism and Confidence (Fashion):
  “Every single time I see somebody make a comment about Preston’s style, I look at their profile picture and it all makes sense. ...Oh, you can't dress.” – Jackie (44:47)
  “People don't understand how much confidence they've given me. ...None of the people that have came from my outfits...I think they can dress.” – Preston (45:28)

• On Talking to Kids About Other Faiths:
  “I would rather wrestle in my house than to wrestle when they go to the university.” – Preston (32:52)

• On Kindness vs. People-pleasing:
  “Kindness is costly. Like forgiveness is kindness. That's costly.” – Preston (59:21)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:53–04:43 – Opening discussion: Marriage, spiritual warfare, why life is hard for Christians
• 07:43–09:41 – Three temptations in response to Christian difficulty
• 14:14–19:27 – Jesus’ empathy in temptation; help in weakness
• 20:41–22:29 – Asking God for deliverance, beyond therapy/community
• 23:05–25:15 – Would Jackie remarry? Widows and widowers
• 25:15–29:27 – Choosing a church as a couple
• 29:37–35:03 – Teaching kids about other religions; critical thinking
• 35:03–48:56 – Fashion ethos, tips, stereotypes, and confidence
• 55:10–59:51 – Kindness vs. people-pleasing: Motivation, spiritual discernment

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Episode Tone and Style

Witty, down-to-earth, with a blend of theological depth and personal transparency. The Perrys’ playful banter, vulnerability about struggles, and practical advice make this episode accessible, honest, and encouraging for Christians navigating similar questions.

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Conclusion

This episode provides a rich exploration of endurance in the Christian walk, the challenges and joys of marriage, how to engage cultural and religious difference with confidence, navigating personal identity through fashion, and developing true kindness. The hosts model open dialogue, biblical thinking, and practical wisdom, all with warmth and humor. It’s a valuable listen for those seeking to live authentically and faithfully in a complex world, and this summary captures the heart and highlights of the conversation.

Transcript

[Amanda Reed]

Foreign.

[Preston Perry]

Fact, everyone.

[Channing McBride]

Oh, what you gonna say?

[Preston Perry]

Preston Perry wants to divorce me?

[Channing McBride]

Oh, get out of here.

[Preston Perry]

Don't you?

[Channing McBride]

No, I don't.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah, you do.

[Channing McBride]

You're the most beautiful woman in the world.

[Preston Perry]

That. That ain't. That ain't gonna keep you committed.

[Channing McBride]

I love you. I love you.

[Preston Perry]

He told me this morning that he. He's like, I'm done with this.

[Channing McBride]

Why you lying? Why you lying.

[Preston Perry]

Out of here. I'll take our four kids and have a. Have a life without you. I'll be a single dad.

[Channing McBride]

Why you lying?

[Preston Perry]

Go preach and write and do all the things without me.

[Channing McBride]

I'mma start calling you a prophet. Liar.

[Preston Perry]

You don't want to divorce me.

[Amanda Reed]

No, I love you.

[Preston Perry]

You know, the devil wants us to divorce.

[Channing McBride]

He does. He really does.

[Preston Perry]

Why do you think that is?

[Channing McBride]

Because he hates marriage.

[Preston Perry]

Why does he hate it?

[Channing McBride]

Because, I mean, all the things that we know. It's a picture of the gospel, but I. I think that he hates Marri. He wants to affect future generations. You know, he wants to affect the way men see women in future generations. He wants to affect the way that, you know, our son, you know, husband's his wife and see his children. I mean, it just affects everything. Like, my. My parents. Divorce really has impacted me in so many different ways. You know what I'm saying?

[Preston Perry]

Do you remember them divorcing?

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah. My mom, like, literally woke me up in the middle of night, and then I didn't see my dad for six years.

[Preston Perry]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

That's traumatic.

[Amanda Reed]

It is.

[Preston Perry]

I remember I used to watch, you know, like, shows. Not like 7 heaven because they stayed together, but, like, shows where, like, people would be talking about their parents divorcing and they will always be so sad. I remember them being like, I ain't. I don't never see my daddy. I don't know why y'. All. I don't understand. Until I got married, and then I understood, like, oh, like, I can. The. The fracture in the relationship. I can see how that's really troubling for a child.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

So.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah, it is.

[Amanda Reed]

It is.

[Channing McBride]

Man. God created marriage for a reason, and, you know, it's the reason why the enemy wants to destroy it. Because, you know, in marriage, I think we see God in ways that we wouldn't see him. We experience God in ways that we wouldn't see him. So, you know, we experience his creation when we experience healthy marriage in. In healthy ways. And I think that he wants to fragment. He wants to distort the way we see God. The way we see people by affecting marriage.

[Preston Perry]

And before we get to these questions, because we are doing a Q and A today, we obviously just jumped straight into the deep end. But I think something that I've been wrestling with and I'm, I'm, I'm becoming more content with, it's just the idea of like, why everything gotta be so hard? You know what I'm saying? Like, why, why does, why is everything warfare? Why is parenting and marriage and friendship and your mental health and your emotional stability and what you do like it be feeling like. And I use that, that, that sentence structure on purpose. It'd be feeling like, Lord, like why is everything. Like, why can't this be easy? The answer is because we're not in heaven. We're not on New Jerusalem. It's going to be a fight to the finish, but it's a fight that's fixed.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah, yeah.

[Channing McBride]

Looking to Jesus, But I also have a little.

[Preston Perry]

Who endured the cross, despising the shame for the joy that was set before him.

[Channing McBride]

I also have a little theory too.

[Preston Perry]

Looking to Jesus.

[Channing McBride]

Okay, when you're done, I'mma say, because.

[Preston Perry]

In Hebrews it said, first we have like, we got cloud of witnesses who went through a whole bunch of stuff. And then it says, now therefore, looking to Jesus. So the cloud of witnesses, you can look at them, help them encourage you. But at the end of the day, you got to look at him. If you look at him, then you'll keep going, you'll endure, you'll do all the stuff. Cuz it ain't like he didn't come down here and have to do the hard stuff too. He did the hardest thing. He died and took on sin that ain't even belong to him. And you complaining that you fighting sin, that's yours.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

Anyway, go ahead.

[Channing McBride]

No, I was just gonna say some water. No, no, I'm swallowing. But I think I was gonna say too. Like, I do think that there's a great cost to doing faithful ministry. Yeah, there's a great cause. You know what I'm saying? Like at the end of first Peter 4, Peter says, no, at the end of first. I think it's first Peter 4 Peter says that the righteous was scarcely make it into heaven. And I used to hear that scripture always quoted wrong. Like people was like, you better watch, watch your behavior. You better, you know, you better watch that.

[Preston Perry]

Make it.

[Channing McBride]

You might not make it. The righteous is scarcely. And it's like, no, but even if you research the word scarcely, it can mean, you know, you know, it could take on the context of might not. But it also takes on the context of. Context of hard. The righteous will will make it because the righteous are righteous. It says the righteous will scarcely be saved. And the righteous are saved. Right. And God will keep his people into. Into the day he comes. But that word scarcely means hard. You know what I'm saying? Like, everybody who.

[Preston Perry]

It don't mean barely. It's given barely. When I hear scarcely, I hear you. You, you barely made it in, bucko. Yeah, but by the skin of your chinny chin.

[Channing McBride]

But it also takes on the context of like, like, like, they got in, but it wasn't easy, right? And so, like, not even like, like, you know, they. The righteous almost didn't make it. It's just like. No, like, I think when my grandmother got to heaven, you know, I'm saying, who lived a faithful life? If God gave her the ability to look back at her life, she would have said, man. I remember in 1997 when my son was murdered, I thought I wasn't going to make it. I remember when my husband walked out on me. I thought I wasn't going to make it. I remember when the whole church turned on me and they lied on me and persecuted me and I thought I was done with you, God, because the way your people treated, I thought I wasn't gonna make it. But I'm, you know, but I'm here because your hand was on me. I'm here because you, you kept me. And I think that's what it means to be in Christ, like, you know what I'm saying? And I believe that if she did not serve Jesus in the way that she served Jesus, she wouldn't, like, experience the persecution that she experienced.

[Preston Perry]

That's good.

[Channing McBride]

You can't hit the enemy and feel like the enemy ain't gonna hit you back.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah. I was telling you in bed how. I think there's two. I think there's a few temptations when it comes to difficulty in the Christian walk. One is to. To completely leave the Lord and say there is no Lord. To become an atheist or an agnostic. Like, that's the way you deal with the stuff, is to leave. Then there's the other where you leave the Lord, but you kind of like change his laws.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

So it's like you think you're still in him, you still love him, but. But it's because you change what he demanded. You made the load on your conscience lighter.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

I think the third temptation is actually more compelling for many of us in ministry or in life, which is to just take your foot off the gas. So you're not, you're not going to say God don't exist. You're not going to change his law. You just not going to go as hard. Right. So it's like, ah, if the podcast costs this much, I don't want to do it.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

If, if, if, if this friendship is this difficult, I don't want no parts. If parenting this child is that I' ma go numb out. Like, you just. You stop pressing forward because of how much it costs you. Well, and I think that's, I think that's something that we have to, to be careful.

[Channing McBride]

Well, if you can remember. You know, this is so funny because we, we wasn't planning this. Yeah. If you can remember. You know, that was my, you know, my. I did an appreciation post for you a couple of weeks ago, and that was a lot.

[Preston Perry]

That was very nice.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah, that was a lot of. A lot of my praise of you. You know, you, you. I think that you have experienced a particular type of persecution because God has called you to call out things that a lot of people don't call out. You know, And I think, you know, saying to see you, you know, move towards God in our marriage and the way that you've moved towards him is commendable. You know what I'm saying? Because I do think that, you know, we, we look at a lot of ministers and we say, man, what happened to them? Like, they used to be solid. They used to be rocking like, like, like. And now they just. On some, some other stuff.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

A little loose.

[Channing McBride]

Little loose or whatever. And it's just like, man, I think people don't understand. I think the average listener or the average viewer who just, who consuming Christian content but never really putting it out in the world, they don't even understand the level of spiritual warfare that that person probably went through. And because he was trying to be. They, because they were trying to be faithful to give the gospel in faithful way to y', all, they experienced spiritual attacks that made them stray away from, you know, I'm saying, like, if I gotta serve the Lord and it means I gotta deal with this, I'd rather just be on some safe stuff.

[Preston Perry]

Sure.

[Channing McBride]

And there's so many people who have strayed away from giving truth because they just don't want to experience the spiritual warfare.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

You know what I'm saying? And so like, I just gave you an appreciation post because it's like, man, like, I've seen you run to Jesus time and time. Again, when the enemy used people to talk about you or turn it back.

[Preston Perry]

On you and all that, I'm also seeing. And we're going to get to your questions, that everything is not necessarily warfare.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

Some stuff is discipline.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

I think the enemy is a part of trying to leverage your discomfort in the discipline. But it's like the Lord also uses circumstances to test us, to show us what's in our heart, to show us if we love him for real. And I feel like I'm in a particular season where I'm. I think every Christian is like this. The test is, do you believe the things that you say? Do you believe it? So when, when I say that I'm good, let me put you in a position to test if, if that's just. You just, you just get excited about my goodness or if you actually really believe it. You know what I'm saying? Like for, for Abraham to be in the position where the Lord is like, yeah, you got this son that I promise you gonna have, but I want you to kill him. Yeah, I want you to sacrifice. Do you believe that I'm a covenant keeper? Do you believe I'm a pro? And I think that's what the tests are challenging. And it's like the Lord is trying to take what we know and distill it down into our hearts in such a way where it's not just like us getting happy over a sentence or a doctrine or idea, but us actually experiencing the thing that we preach.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

That's actually encouraging. And that's something that I have to remind myself often because that's. That's one of the greatest things about God. Is he. I think he would be not a morally good God if he was out here just allowing the enemy to test us and his hand wasn't somewhat in it in some way, shape or form.

[Preston Perry]

What do you mean?

[Channing McBride]

Because it's like, in that, like if. If God isn't sovereign over the evil attacks, you know, that happened over us in a lot of ways that will make him not God.

[Preston Perry]

Yes.

[Channing McBride]

Does that make sense?

[Preston Perry]

Yes. So if the enemy was allowed to touch us without God's permission.

[Channing McBride]

Absolutely. Right, right. We see like the, like we see what happened to Job, this man. The Bible says he was the most faithful man in all of these, you know, and the, the devil approached God and said, you know, I'm seeking to and fro, you know, seeking whom I can devour and all this. And he was like, have you, like God, like literally offered Job, have you tried my servant Job? It's like dang God.

[Preston Perry]

Like, yeah, you know what I'm saying?

[Channing McBride]

You know, and like not like God.

[Preston Perry]

Is crazy, but you know. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

[Channing McBride]

And so like I, I, I do think that like understanding that we don't experience purposeless evil is, should encourage us, you know what I'm saying? That God in some way shape or form, you know, is using like all things when it says all things work out together for the good of those who love God and called according to his purpose. Even the, like, even the enemy affecting us is, is included in else all things like God is using it. And so like it is, that's just something about God's sovereignty that we probably wouldn't fully understand on this side of heaven. But at the same time I do think it should like give the Christians some type of comfort to know the enemy out here just doing what he wanted.

[Preston Perry]

No, we play a part in how much power he has.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

And what I mean is all the enemy can do is tempt.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah, that's it.

[Preston Perry]

The Lord tests the, the devil temps. All I can do is tempt. But you have the decision to give into that temptation.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

And like I was reading, you know, Jesus, you know, he was, it said that the spirit drove him in the wilderness to be tested. And he was tested all 40 of those days. Like is it, he was in the wilderness being, being tested for 40 days. We look at the three temptations at the end and I realize this, that was probably the climax of him wrestling with the devil for a long time. Right.

[Channing McBride]

But the enemy, that's actually, it's actually a really good observation.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah, like that being, we can't skip like being tested and that, that means like oh, you was, you was enduring. And I'm like observation. One of the things that's crazy is we be just dealing with little demons. Jesus had to fight the devil, he.

[Channing McBride]

Had the big dog.

[Preston Perry]

We, it's hierarchies, principalities, powers.

[Channing McBride]

Right.

[Preston Perry]

The devil.

[Channing McBride]

Right.

[Preston Perry]

Came to him.

[Channing McBride]

Right. You probably got like a three foot.

[Preston Perry]

In your house and we can't handle it.

[Channing McBride]

Right. You probably got a, you probably got a demon in your house the size of sage. My three year old. Yeah. The real devil.

[Preston Perry]

Here's the thing that encourages me is that it was, I could just go in because I've been, I've been think I've been thinking through this.

[Channing McBride]

Oh yeah, go in.

[Preston Perry]

No, I've been thinking through that text how all of the enemy's temptations were to alleviate Christ's suffering. You know what I'm saying at the end of the four day, 40 days, it said he was hungry. What's the first temptation? Turn this stone to bread. Leverage your supernatural ability to make things that are not something different than what they are. Like, leverage that to satisfy yourself. Why? Because your body is needy. And so how many temptations is he given us? Because our bodies are needy. Our physical bodies feel like they need more than what God has. And that's why Jesus says, like, no, like, man cannot live by bread alone, but by every word that comes out of the mouth of God, meaning his satisfaction in the sustenance of God is the thing that helped him to not give in to the enemy's lies. So I bring all that back to say to us, it's like, we just have to become more satisfied.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

We have to become more full. We have to become more godly so that when the enemy tempts us, it's actually not tempting.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

That's so good.

[Preston Perry]

That's it.

[Channing McBride]

That's so good. And Jesus was the perfect model. I. He, like the enemy, literally appealed to every aspect.

[Preston Perry]

Yes.

[Channing McBride]

The lust of the flesh.

[Preston Perry]

Jump off the thing.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah, the lust of the flesh. Like, you know, turn this stone into bread. The lust of the eye. Look at all the. The. The. The. The kingdoms or whatever. I'll give it to you like. Oh, God.

[Preston Perry]

One more thing. One more thing. One more thing. What were they.

[Channing McBride]

Okay, go.

[Preston Perry]

You want me to say it?

[Channing McBride]

No. It's your world. Screw.

[Preston Perry]

I need to study this because I think I'm. Because I. I did a sermon on this text a long time ago, and I think I might do another one because I just feel like all of us are getting beat up. We need help. But Luke says he showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a vision or a span of time, meaning that it was of a visual, mental temptation. And you got to think about that. Like, it's not necessarily that the enemy was playing with his mind, but he was playing with his mind.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

And it's like we have the same stuff. We have the same war of fighting stuff in our mind, fighting things that happen in our sleep, fighting our imagination, like those visual, mental kind of things. And I think we should be encouraged because, like, that's why it says we have a great high priest.

[Amanda Reed]

Yes.

[Preston Perry]

Who empathizes, sympathizes with our weaknesses because he was tempted in all respects. Like the wars you fight in your mind. You don't think Jesus get that?

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

You don't think he understand that makes me that. That this is encouraging me. You know why?

[Preston Perry]

Like, he gets it.

[Channing McBride]

You know. You know why? It.

[Amanda Reed]

It.

[Channing McBride]

What one. I, you know, you know, Hebrews 4:14 is one of my favorite passages, but I'm not even going to talk about that. But just, even just meditating on what you just said, because I think a lot of times you can go through suffering and you can be like, man God, like, man God. Like, why are you allowing me to go through this? But like, I, I think you said it on the podcast. I don't think that we meditate on the fact that God became man. Like, I don't think that we think about God. We think about this distant God that's.

[Preston Perry]

We think about his deity.

[Channing McBride]

We think about his deity. The fact that God will become flesh and subject himself to that type of mental suffering is nuts. I don't even have nothing deep to say. I really don't have nothing deep. I really, I really don't have nothing deep to say.

[Preston Perry]

That's it.

[Channing McBride]

But like, that, that, like, if you just meditate on the fact that God allowed his mind to be played with so that he can empathize with your suffering Jesus, if that don't make you trust him.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah. Let me ask you this.

[Channing McBride]

If they don't make you trust him.

[Preston Perry]

Let me ask you this. What do you think Christ, how does Christ's empathy help us endure? Like, what, what, what does that incentivize?

[Channing McBride]

I think, I think one. I think crisis. Christ's empathy gives us confidence that we can freely come to him without shame.

[Preston Perry]

So that's why the text says we have a great high priest who empathizes with our weakness, therefore come to the.

[Channing McBride]

Throne of grace with boldness that we might find grace and help in our time of need.

[Preston Perry]

That's good.

[Channing McBride]

We can find grace in our time of need because he. Because he knows what we're going through. So there's a limited grace at his throne. He didn't just die for you, but he became man to empathize with the fact that you're weak. But at the same time, it says we can find help at his throne because he was sinless and perfect. And so he walked this path without sin. And so even when you sin, he knows how to help. So there's help and grace.

[Preston Perry]

That's great.

[Channing McBride]

And so it's like, so I think it just gives us. It's really for us. It's saying, man, like, I don't, like, I'd, like I'm saying, I'm saying I die for your shame. There's no need for you to live in it anymore. Like, don't. Like you're a fallen human being. You could not save yourself. You cannot do anything on your own. You know what I'm saying? You are extremely defenseless. Right. Like we talked about this. It's like people always trying to make themselves David in the David and Goliath story. No, you were the people who were afraid. You were Israel who were afraid. You couldn't fight back and somebody had to come and fight on your behalf. And so God knows that we're weak. He knows that we're fragile. He knows that we can't defeat sin on our own. He knows that we have no, no, no contest against Satan. And so he came and did it for us.

[Preston Perry]

Jesus.

[Channing McBride]

He literally came into the forest.

[Preston Perry]

This is my Bible. There's so many scriptures I want to point to.

[Channing McBride]

Just, he's like, just come to me. Come. Like, you can't do it on your own. You out here suffering because you won't come to my throne over and over again. Keep, keep coming. I'm never going to say is you again. I'm not going to say it.

[Preston Perry]

I think some of us, then we can get to the questions.

[Channing McBride]

Okay.

[Preston Perry]

I think some of us, depending on what kind of church you've been in, we aren't praying the prayers that we have the freedom to pray. For example, I've been reading a lot of psalms and I've been paying special attention to how often they pray for deliverance. And I think because I've been in a world that is more practical and more pragmatic, where it's like, yeah, he will deliver us through therapy. He will deliver us through community. He will do. Which is true. But it's like what that's done is, is that I go to the therapy, I go to the community, I go to the stuff and never actually ask for deliverance. Does that make sense? Yeah, it's like I, I, I'm, I'm more on the, like. Yeah. I can't explain what I mean.

[Channing McBride]

No, no. I think what you're, I think what you're trying to say and correct me.

[Preston Perry]

If I'm wrong, we have the right.

[Channing McBride]

To say, God, take this thing from me.

[Preston Perry]

Take it.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

And if he decides not to, cool. But it's like some fights. Me and you had this conversation and you and Phil had. There are some wars, some walls, strongholds that therapy can't fix.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

That community, even to a certain degree, can't fit. Like, God has to do it. And so I've been having More freedom to say, you know what? Deliver me. If David said it, I'mma say it. If. If. If Cor said it, I'mma say it. If Moses said it, I'mma say it.

[Channing McBride]

Like, yeah, yeah, that's good. And God can do it. He could take it away in an instant.

[Preston Perry]

He did it with Israel. Yeah, they did, like, deliver us. Okay, here's about 10, 12 plagues. I do that. You know what I'm saying? I'm. Here's the flood waters. All they had to do was walk through.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

So it's good.

[Preston Perry]

All right.

[Channing McBride]

So this morning, that was the longest rant ever.

[Preston Perry]

I.

[Channing McBride]

It was good, though.

[Preston Perry]

It's obviously on our heart that we are pressing through. I put on Instagram some questions, and I said, whatever questions y' all got, we gonna answer them.

[Channing McBride]

Okay, Go ahead and read them. Buckle.

[Preston Perry]

Let me start with this. Since Jackie said you are dying first referencing you, would she remarry? What they talking about is one of the episodes we uploaded recently. In our. Our pre. Our pre preaching rant, I just shared that I have a strong hunch that I'll be a widow, that Preston will die first. Primarily because, statistically speaking, men do secondarily. Because I. I feel like the Lord told me that I was going to live a long time, which means I'm a suffer a whole lot. So I really do need to get this endurance thing down, packed. And they're saying, would I remarry? Absolutely not. If. If you die, I am single till it's time to meet Christ. Because what am I doing this again for? For what? Yeah, that's not to say I despise about, but it's like, why am I getting to know people and dating people and. And then especially if you 60, 70, what am I. What am I really doing that for? Like, if I'm 70. No, take me. I'm fine. And you don't actually see a lot of widows remarry. You always see widowers remarry.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

Why do you think that is? They could be 82 and they go, they gonna be married in six months.

[Channing McBride]

I think it's. I think. I don't know. I think. I think. I think men. I think a lot of people might try to relate it to the whole sex thing. Like, men need sex. Even when those men older, they only want sex like that. Like, my uncle, he. He remarried and he remarried because, you know, he needed sex. I think a lot of men just need women. When they said it was not good for men to be alone, like, they help. They need Help.

[Preston Perry]

Okay.

[Channing McBride]

You know what I'm saying? Like a helper. Like, I think women don't understand how much of a blessing. Not just y' all bodies, just y' all minds. And the way y' all wired for men is just different, you know what I'm saying? You know, and I, I don't know, maybe I need to do a deep study of this, but maybe it's just the order of creation, like how God created Adam first and was like, you see everybody else running around here with a mate. You out here, buddy, you know what I'm saying? It's not good for you to. You to be alone. And I think, you know, I think that's, you know, and I think the sex is a part of it too. But I think that we just mean y', all, you know, in a lot of ways.

[Preston Perry]

That's sweet. So you're saying I don't need a mate.

[Channing McBride]

No, you're pretty self sufficient. You just need Jesus.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

Honestly do. The question is, how did y' all agree on a church? I think that's a great, a great practical question. Like if, if, if it's time to either move churches or join the church. How does a couple come to an agreement? Because I can't say, oh, I want to go to First Ordination Baptist. And you like, well, I want to go to Alaska Episcopal on the mount. Like, we can't go to two separate churches.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

So we have to come to an agreement.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

I'm a, you know, I might, I might seem very old school when it comes to this, but I do think that the husband should seek to know and understand the vision of the leadership.

[Preston Perry]

Oh, of the church?

[Channing McBride]

Of the church.

[Preston Perry]

Okay.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

So what if you have two churches.

[Channing McBride]

With great leadership, with great leadership?

[Preston Perry]

Yeah. What, what if all, what if two, both churches check off all the boxes? They both have great godly leadership, they both have church government, they both have holiness and all the stuff. They both have the preaching of the word. Solid doctrine.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

How do you make the decision then?

[Channing McBride]

Yeah, I think that it's just really, I mean, I think that's a case by case situation, but I think it really just comes down to practical nature. Like if both churches give you everything that you kind of looking for, like which church is closest to your house, you know what I'm saying? Which church is closest to the kids school, which church would serve your children better? Like, and then just pray about it, you know, I'm saying pray that the Lord would, you know, lead you to the right one. And I'll Say visit both and you know what I'm saying? And y' all pray together, and the Lord will lead y' all together for sure. You know what I'm saying? Like, but I do think that, you know, if it checks off all the boxes, especially, like, like, knowing the vision of the leadership and you having confidence in the people who lead him, because the church is always going to be a reflection of the leadership. I think, you know, everything else is kind of, like, up the discussion.

[Preston Perry]

I could use our life for an example to, like, put flesh on that. When we were moving to Atlanta, I think one of the things that was a part of the decision with the church is we were primarily looking at churches with people we knew.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

You know what I'm saying? Because it's like, oh, we know y'. All. We know yalls life. Let's check those churches out.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

And I had a certain inclination towards one church and a certain hesitation towards another church, but I didn't necessarily want to put that on Preston. And so you ended up having a weekend with the pastors of both churches. Like, y' all had to go on some ministry thing. And I pray and I said, lord, that church that I'm hesitant about, I pray that Preston experiences something with that pastor that reveals that that is not the church for us. So it's like, I wasn't controlling his decision, but I had my unctions, but I was taking it to the Lord. And you came back and you was like, yeah, so? And so, like, I picked this up and that was out. And I was like, yeah. I mean, so.

[Channing McBride]

And what's crazy is. Yeah, go ahead.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah, we don't have to go there.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

Things hit the fan.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

So.

[Channing McBride]

But then God be looking out with this new.

[Preston Perry]

We're part of a new body of believers in the last six months. And that decision took some time, but I was also confused. I didn't necessarily have clarity, but again, I think in marriage, I think when you see each other as. As a team and as I'm a vessel of what God might be saying, and he is, too. So if I'm confused, then I'm, like, low key leaning into you for clarity. If you're confused, you're low key leaning into me for clarity. And so, like, I was just kind of waiting on you to be clear, because I was already like, hey, if that's the church we going to, I'm cool with it. I'm. I'm indifferent, so. And I told you that.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

I said, you literally can make the decision.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

And yeah, it was a good decision.

[Preston Perry]

All right. I don't like how unenthusiastic you are. Me with this, the answers to these questions.

[Channing McBride]

I'm sorry.

[Preston Perry]

It was a good decision. That's it. You'll love this one. Should you talk to your children about other religions and how they contradict Christians?

[Channing McBride]

Oh, now I got my blood boiling.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah, Hulk Hogan.

[Channing McBride]

Should I talk to my children about other religions and how they contradict Christianity? Yeah, I think so. I still seem nonchalant. It was the H. Yeah, I definitely think you should. You know, I'm a, I'm a really big fan of not having a reactionary faith.

[Preston Perry]

Okay.

[Channing McBride]

A faith that responds when our children get out in the world and get hit with a different worldview. Now be trying to like, get them all to like, apologetic books and you know what I'm saying? It's just like, no, like, how can you practically start teaching your children about different ideologies, different worldviews, and so when they get out there, they're not really shocked by anything. And I think for me, I think, you know, I think it depends. Our children are still young, you know, our nine year old getting older. But I think, you know, a lot of times people, you know, try to figure out, like, how can I preach this to my kids? How can I, how can I give this to my kids? But I, I honestly think it's less about preaching to them when they're young than just giving them good questions and teaching them how to critically think on their own. And I think that, I think that, I think that if we do a better job of just cultivating thinkers, you know what I'm saying? Like, because a lot of times when people leave the nest or leave the Christian home or leave the Christian church and get rocked by different worldviews, it's not merely because these worldviews are so convincing. It's because they haven't been taught how to think. That's good, you know what I'm saying? And so, like, how can we develop good thinkers, you know what I'm saying? Like, how can we teach our children to question, you know what I'm saying? And interrogate and ask the text questions and ask other people's questions, you know what I'm saying? I know so many people who walked up to me and was like, yo, somebody just said this, yada, yada, yada, and it rocked my faith. And it's like, but why, though? Yeah, yeah, like, what was your follow up question? You didn't have none. And so like, I, I do Think that we could just do a better job of teaching our children how to think.

[Preston Perry]

And I think one of the things that would keep somebody from doing that is fear.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

You feel like you will expose your children to a doctrine or a faith tradition that would tempt them to leave Christianity and to go there. Right. I think one thing that can help you be confident is to be confident. If it is true, then at the end of the day, you know what I'm saying? Like, you can stand on the fact that God is faithful, that God is a keeper, that God is a provider. That does not mean that eventually when Your child is 14, 15, 16, they won't have questions or doubts. But I also think that it is healthy for a child to wrestle through doubts with their parent than to wrestle with doubts with the devil. And, you know these Negroes in college that don't love the Lord. For real. Does it make sense, what I'm saying?

[Channing McBride]

Like, absolutely.

[Preston Perry]

When people's faith are rocked in college, they're actually not in a safe place to wrestle with those doubts without, like, Like, I, I'm. I'm not making sense, what I'm saying.

[Channing McBride]

No.

[Preston Perry]

I would rather wrestle in my house.

[Amanda Reed]

Yes.

[Preston Perry]

Than to wrestle when they go to the university.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

That's what I'm saying. And once they get through the wrestle, like we all do, we all got doubts, we're all wrestling. We often come out of it more assured of the truth than we were when we were denying the fact that we had doubts.

[Channing McBride]

And also, too, you have to just remember that, that, that if that is a fear that you don't want your children to, like, yada, yada, yada. You're almost trying to protect your children from, then. It didn't, didn't. What am I trying to say then? Inevitable. Like, like, if they live in a world with so many different worldviews, so many different religions.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

You ain't gonna be able to protect them, them their whole life.

[Preston Perry]

That's true.

[Channing McBride]

Like, they're going to run across a Muslim at one point in their life or Hebrew, Israelite or Jehovah's Witness or, you know, a 5 percenter. Like, they're gonna run. They're gonna run, you know, against somebody who's going to challenge their faith, you know what I'm saying? And so it's like, how can you teach them now? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Because I, I'm not. Especially when I do apologetic conferences, I always have the mother. It's always the mother. Sometimes it's the dad. But it's just like my son then went off to college and became a Hebrew Israelite. You got any resources? And it's just like, man, like, if you lived in a black community your whole life and you only roll past the Hebrew Israelites on the corner every single day, and you saw them and you never talked to them about or you never, like, tried to figure out what was it about, you know what I'm saying? Like, teaching them how to critically think through other worldviews, I just think is important and valuable.

[Preston Perry]

One of my goals is that when our kids start, probably middle school, summertime, I want them to read certain secular resources, and I want us to talk about it. So whatever it is, like, about sexuality, about culture, about other faith traditions, like, I want you to be very aware of what is out there in the world, and I want us to talk through how you think about it. Why is this true? Why isn't this true, all the things? Because I think that's a way to contend for faith in your heart, home. And I think it'll prepare our kids. So I think they're going to hate it, but they're going to appreciate it when they're in their 20s.

[Channing McBride]

That's good. That's real good.

[Preston Perry]

All right, what's the other one? Let's see. Fashion ethos. Oh, how do you guys build your outfits?

[Channing McBride]

That's a really good question.

[Preston Perry]

I love it.

[Channing McBride]

Look at our vanity rising up to the surface.

[Preston Perry]

It's not vanity. It's beauty. We like beautiful things. Things.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah, yeah.

[Channing McBride]

How do you build your outfit, man? This shouldn't feel like a loaded question, but it is to me in a lot of ways. I think, for me, I think fashion is a reflection of. Just like you, it's a reflection of art. You know what I'm saying? And, like, I tell. Like, I told this one dude, I think we were on tour, he was just like, man, like. I think he asked me something about my outfit that I had on and saw, asking me about fashion. And I was like, man, like. And he was like, like, yeah, his church is very, very. I remember now. His church is very legalistic. And so every time he will come and put a lot of, you know, emphasis on his outfits, they would say, this is vanity and all that. I'm like, no, yeah, you gotta wear.

[Preston Perry]

A white shirt and some dickies.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Preston Perry]

Not even dickies. Walmart brand cargo pants.

[Channing McBride]

I just think some Christians can't dress and be trying to, like, you know, say people vain because they don't Know how to put outfit together. I, I, I just, I, I think that's, you know, actually the case. But, you know, like, like, like I told him, I was like, man, a lot of, in a lot of ways, my fashion sense is no different than my poetry. It's like I wrote how I felt that day while I was feeling at that moment or in that season. And so like, even when I, even when I, you know, put an outfit on, it's kind of a reflection of how I feel. Like I feel like wearing this. And I, you know what I'm saying? And so I think that governs your fashion, but then also too, I think what governs your fashion. What governs, governs my fashion is just playing with different textures, playing with different tones, playing with different patterns, playing with stuff. And if it looks good, wear it.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

Like, if you, if it feels good, if it looks good, I can't explain, I don't know if anybody like any creatives listening, but like, it's like, you know, when you write a poem and it's like, this feels good.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

Like outfits are, you know, in the same way for me, it's like this just feels good.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah. It scratches an itch in my brain. And by that I mean, when I was designing our house, you know what I would do? I would go into an empty room and I would like, imagine what it could look like. So I thought about the colors, I thought about the tones, I thought about the organization of the space. Like, what is practical? How would people feel?

[Channing McBride]

For sure.

[Preston Perry]

And I would, I would walk in and walk out. Walk in and walk out.

[Channing McBride]

You like a mad woman when you be doing that too.

[Preston Perry]

Until it made sense in my mind. And when it made sense in my mind, I knew that I could move forward with that. And so the way I designed my house is a lot like how I design what I put on my body is, is, does it make sense? How does it feel? How will it look? How will I be able to move in it? I think when I lost weight, my fashion took a turn. Just because when I was like big. Because like when I, when I gave birth to August.

[Channing McBride]

You was hippie.

[Preston Perry]

Well, man, like when I left that hospital, I was 190. I'm five foot three, so 198. Five foot three is pretty.

[Channing McBride]

But now you're curvy.

[Preston Perry]

No, I'm saying, but what it did was my confidence.

[Channing McBride]

You're curvy now.

[Preston Perry]

I didn't have confidence, so I didn't even dress according to what made me feel good. And I didn't feel like I didn't like how I looked. I really didn't. So it was just like I dressed like how I felt.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

So the more I lost weight, the more I felt like, oh, I could wear those pants or I could wear that shirt. And it was like a freedom. I also think my style has shifted where I'm a lot more street wear oriented than I was. And that's out of freedom too, because for. For a long time I felt like I had to dress a certain kind of way for people to feel like I was safe or I was free or I was this. And it's just like, nah. My husband good with it. I'm good with it. So.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

What. What is.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

And you fly and you beautiful.

[Preston Perry]

Thank you.

[Channing McBride]

Just the way you are. I love, I love your style.

[Preston Perry]

I know you do.

[Channing McBride]

It's one of my favorite things in the world.

[Amanda Reed]

You're all I need.

[Channing McBride]

What are some tips that people can do to become more fashionable? You think?

[Preston Perry]

Think one. You know, we got to put theology in here because people like, well, you shouldn't care about this baby.

[Channing McBride]

You should just wear Christian, Christian conference T shirts and call it a day, bucko.

[Preston Perry]

It's like the, the Lord created beauty. Okay. So when he made the world in Genesis 1, what did he do? He took what was chaotic and put order to it. That means he made it beautiful people. Okay. He gave us trees, he gave us the sun, he gave us the stars, he gave us the moon. He gave us all things. Then when you read even things like Leviticus, the way he made the priest garments, the. The jewels, he wanted to use all the stuff. Then when you move forward to the building of the tabernacle.

[Channing McBride]

Tabernacle.

[Preston Perry]

Beautiful, right? So there, there, you cannot argue that God doesn't love beauty.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

Or the organization of clothing.

[Channing McBride]

You cannot look into the Pacific Ocean and don't be like, oh, God, don't care about how stuff look.

[Preston Perry]

So we don't idolize beauty. We don't find our identity in beauty. But it is okay to find joy and delight in beauty.

[Channing McBride]

That's a good distinction.

[Preston Perry]

Good distinction. Okay. Had to put the theology secondarily, I think one, I think people need to know their body. Okay.

[Channing McBride]

So I knew you should have say that.

[Preston Perry]

I think that's a big thing. I think a lot of people don't know. They don't know how to accentuate or decentuate certain body types. Okay. So I remember for example, I had a friend, she had a very. She was real top heavy. So she had real big breasts, but little hips. And it's like, skinny jeans are not for you because the skinny jeans are accentuating your body type.

[Channing McBride]

Well, if you got, like a stubby torso, you probably shouldn't wear, like, tall tees because. Or like, swallow you up or like.

[Preston Perry]

I remember. I'm not gonna say the name. This one gospel artist, this negro ain't got no neck. He has no neck and he keeps wearing these tall collars. And I said, it's hiding the little neck you already got. You need v nec necks. You don't need nothing. You get what I'm saying?

[Channing McBride]

My man's be like a turtle.

[Preston Perry]

What could. Like what. What would accentuate or decentuate when God. Wait a minute. What?

[Channing McBride]

Because we notice God's word.

[Preston Perry]

He kept hiding his neck breasted. I said, why does he keep. But I think in his mind, he think I'm elongating it. It's like, no, you elongated by, like, you might need to wear things that have a lower collar, you know what I'm saying? To add some. Some next stuff. Wear whatever makes you feel good. I will admit I had a conversation with Kim one time, and she was like, yeah, skinny jeans. This is like two years ago. She said, skinny jeans are, like, totally not a thing anymore. I was like, really? She was like, yeah. No. And I was like, really? And so I started to look and I was like, I. I had, like, a sense of rebellion against it. And I remember I going Urban Outfitters. I said, they not selling skinny J jeans. I would go to Paxon. I said, they not selling skinny jeans either. Or I would go in. Where else I be shopping, anthropology or free people? I like, are they not selling skinny jeans? And I had to like, you might be a person. I don't care. I want to be trendy. I'm sorry. So I was like, so that means I have to change my whole style. And I had to figure out what it looks like for me not to wear skinny jeans anymore.

[Amanda Reed]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Preston Perry]

You know what I'm saying? That was an adjustment because especially, again, these bigger pants. And I think the fear is if I wear bigger pants, I will look bigger. Yeah, but that's not necessarily the case because you're also organizing your body. Like, you have a top, you have a hat. You know what I'm saying? So you might wear a skinny shirt with wide leg pants. Like, that's the way you create some type of, like.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah. What's crazy is I don't even dimension. I don't even know if you notice, but Skinny jeans aren't all the way out. They just out a particular demographic because like the rapper still wear skinny jeans jeans.

[Preston Perry]

I don't like how they wear them.

[Channing McBride]

That's what I'm saying. Like, and so like they have like this, like this tacky hood.

[Preston Perry]

It's the rock star people that can still pull it off because they'll do like black skinny jeans with a black shirt and some Doc Martens. I actually think that's tight.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

I think most people are not rocking them in ways that are.

[Channing McBride]

I still, I still think that you can wear skinny jeans if you rock it a particular way.

[Preston Perry]

What about Chelsea boots?

[Channing McBride]

Throw them back in closet. Throw them back in the closet. Stop wearing them. I literally got angry. I'm so serious.

[Preston Perry]

Because press it has so many pairs of Chelsea. You used to wear you some Chelsea.

[Channing McBride]

But the people that's still wearing them. Why are you doing that to your life?

[Preston Perry]

So what do they wear? I do think. I think you wear a loafer instead of Chelsea. But what would you wear if not Chelsea boots?

[Channing McBride]

A good loafer.

[Preston Perry]

Loafers are. Loafers are in.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah, loafers are in. You know what I'm saying? A good Doc Marten boot or a Doc Marten shoe. You know what I'm saying? Said cuz it's kind of like, man, the Chelsea boots, they just kind of went perfect with the skinny jeans.

[Preston Perry]

They did.

[Channing McBride]

But it's like, you know, like at the end of the day, like, you weighing like, you, like, you got on tights with like ballerina shoes in 2024.

[Preston Perry]

How do you feel about people? We're taking a long time on this because we never get to talk about fashion. I think that's what this is. How do you feel about men in particular who are often in your comments, like, like, not. You got on animal print pants. Like, what. How do you feel about men criticizing your style?

[Channing McBride]

Oh, man, you set me up.

[Preston Perry]

I don't want to set you up.

[Channing McBride]

To sound very rude, but I will.

[Preston Perry]

Say I'm gonna say this. I'm being very honest. I'm gonna say this every single time. Let's be clear. Where's the camera?

[Channing McBride]

You about to say what I'm about to say.

[Preston Perry]

Let me say it for you. Every single time I see somebody make a comment about Preston's style, I look at their profile picture and it all makes sense.

[Channing McBride]

Yes.

[Preston Perry]

Every single time. It's like, oh, you can't dress.

[Channing McBride]

Listen to me.

[Preston Perry]

That's why you have so much.

[Channing McBride]

Listen to me. Listen to me.

[Preston Perry]

Just say, I love it, bro. Help Me out.

[Channing McBride]

Listen to me, listen to me.

[Preston Perry]

Because I realize men criticize when they want a compliment. Women will actually say some non sis, like, take me to the store with you.

[Channing McBride]

I'm not claiming to be the.

[Preston Perry]

Send me your Pinterest.

[Channing McBride]

I'm not claiming to be the most fashionable guy in the world, girl. You know, I've had some. I've had some. Why you do that?

[Preston Perry]

For sure?

[Channing McBride]

You know what I'm saying? Everybody had that, right?

[Preston Perry]

Yeah, we all have our moments.

[Channing McBride]

People don't understand how much confidence they've given me. Like, I'm. I'm not even capping. Like, they've given me so much confidence, okay? Because like, and I'm not. I'm not saying this to just merely to defend myself. None of the people have. That have came from my outfits. I. Not even one time did I think they can. I. I think they can dress.

[Preston Perry]

I saw him.

[Channing McBride]

I'm like, oh, yes, I'm doing something right.

[Preston Perry]

That's funny.

[Channing McBride]

You know what I'm saying? And so like, yeah, it's just every single time I go to the guy's page, you just. You just. Real boring. You just put on clothes. That's all you did. You just put on clothes.

[Preston Perry]

And praise God that we got clothes. Praise God that we have pants and shirts and underwear in stores and malls, you know, because we actually have more clothes than what we need. Because I feel like I'd be having to reel it back in for the people. Like, oh, my God, this is so. What? Like, praise God we got clothes.

[Channing McBride]

What's the next question?

[Preston Perry]

I just really enjoy. I just really enjoy organizing. You want, you know, one more thing I really love to do.

[Channing McBride]

What?

[Preston Perry]

I don't know if people realize I am all like. So even when you look at our home, our home has moments of. Not necessarily monochromatic, but like, I'm into colors, so colors are a thing for me. So I might have a ton of muted colors and then a pop of something. Something crazy. Right? So blue jeans, black shirt. This is a very simple outfit. It's not crazy, but like a little pop of like, oh, that's interesting. You know what I'm saying? Like, even what you. What you're doing right now, black shirt, animal print, pop of red. Yeah, right. What I don't like is if you had a red shirt on. Yeah, that would bother me.

[Channing McBride]

Or, or. Or like the. This generation call it the sandwich generation. They call the previous generation the sandwich generation. If you got red shoes, you got. You automatically got a red shirt.

[Preston Perry]

Shirt. Yeah, that's that's, that's what like our mamas do.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah. Did you know, you know, I gotta.

[Preston Perry]

I gotta find me some matching shoes. Now. It's like, no, you don't, you don't have to wear.

[Channing McBride]

I saw it on Tick Tock. I learned that on Tick Tock. It's like, oh, you, you like a sandwich. You know what I'm saying? Like bread, meat bread.

[Preston Perry]

Now what's interesting, I'm trying to, I'm trying to get people major keys. One thing I will do is if you see me match colors that are monochromatic, they are different shades of the same color.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah, yeah.

[Preston Perry]

So I might have a bright primary green with like a, a nude, like a evergreen or a, or a lime green. So it's like, it's greens, but it's different shades of greens, which I think is interesting. But with a pink shoe, right? It's like, oh, that's interesting because some people think, I'm not going to do a pink shoe. I'm going to do a muted shoe. I'm going to do black. I'm going to do white. No, like pop out and show.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah, pop out and show what? No, I love outfits like that because you, you got to understand like somet when you have a pop of color, especially if that pop of color is a item that you're wearing that you really, really like, you actually make it stand out more if you don't make it matchy. Matchy.

[Preston Perry]

Yes.

[Channing McBride]

And so now it's kind of like when you, like even when you design a room, it's like some people design a room for that. Like if you want somebody to come in your, in your house and you want them the eyes to look up, you know, I'm saying you design it in a certain way for them to look up to, to focus on what you want them to focus on the room. Like, what's your centerpiece? A lot of times when we put outfits together, we don't actually know how life centerpieces because we're trying to match so much and it's just like, no, that my shoes stand out because for a reason you don't even know. Like, it's a whole psychology to it.

[Preston Perry]

You know, for sure.

[Channing McBride]

And so yeah, we, we can talk about this all, all, all day, but.

[Preston Perry]

We'Ll have a episode on fashion and invite some of our fashionable friends or something. We don't have a lot of them.

[Channing McBride]

But the shade is so much today. It's like no sunshine.

[Preston Perry]

We started off, I talked about summer. Okay, here's A question. We'll just have them edited down if I feel like it's too much. But it's just like either you want me to be myself or you don't. Do you feel you owe your SDA supporters an apology for airing a one sided discussion?

[Channing McBride]

No.

[Preston Perry]

Okay, let's give context first.

[Channing McBride]

Okay, so context was, you know, we had Dr. Eric Mason come on to talk about cults and he mentioned the SDA church. That started an uproar on social media. And so I reached out to some SDA people, you know, sda, you know, leaders or whatever to come on. We couldn't get nobody to come on, but we wanted to give an explanation of, you know, of the things that he said. And so we had a SDA apologist named Brother Thunder to come on to explain, like to further explain what we meant in the first episode. Because the first time when Eric, Pastor Eric Mason mentioned it, he wasn't able to explain in detail. And so in our, in our second attempt, we had, we actually wanted, you know, one of the main, you know, SDA people that we wanted to come on. I'm not even gonna say his name, but he's been on social media saying, you know, he, he wants to come on, yada, yada, yada. We actually was going to have him on, on, but he did not want to come on at first because he didn't want to have a conversation with the people that was on. He wanted to have a conversation with just me. And so I said, no, okay, I'm going to bring them on and allow them to explain what they meant. And then I told them that I was going to have a third conversation, bring some SDA leaders on and bring Dr. Eric Mason back on to have a third conversation. This is the reason why I don't owe anybody an apology. One, when Dr. Eric Mason came on the show the first time, time, one, the conversation wasn't about SDA theology. He just briefly mentioned it. And we didn't know it was going to, you know, take off the way it did the second time. It was for clarity. And so I think that we have a right to give clarity to something.

[Preston Perry]

That, to a position that you took.

[Channing McBride]

To a position that we took on our platform. And so we don't owe anybody, we don't owe anybody our platform our second time, you know what I'm saying? I think for any, like, any. And I've heard a lot of people say this like you should have, yada, yada, yada. Mainly because it's one particular SDA leader Who's been pushing this narrative that, oh, they're not giving us me, you know, I think because he really wants to come on, you know what I'm saying? But at the end of the day, it's like a lot of SDA people was like, thank you for actually, like clarifying what you mean. I'm going to actually research the stuff that was, that was given and study myself, yada, yada. So a lot of people were actually thankful. And then the last thing I'll say is, you know, there was, there was a, a time, a time frame. It was a particular type of time frame from the first and second conversation. Because one, we do things on our time over here. And I don't mean this, I don't, I don't mean to like sound rude, but you know, like, we're going to have the third conversation when we feel like having it. You know what I'm saying? Like, yes. And I, and so I don't, I don't mean to sound rude. It's just like, just because you feel away about it doesn't mean I have to have the third conversation on your timing because I didn't have the first conversation on your timing and I didn't have the second conversation on your timing. But I did say that we're going to have the third conversation and it will happen when we get a person that we feel like will be a good person to kind of interview, yada, yada, yada. And lastly, what I'll say is only a position was explained. Nobody's character was attacked, nobody's leaders were attacked particularly. And you live in a world where people are going to have different views of theology and it's really about, it's really not nothing about, you know, like, it's no ill will on the SCA church per se. It's about how can we figure out what God wants, what God represents if this theology is aligns with the historical text. And I think that we all have a moral responsibility, responsibility to uphold the word of God. And I think nobody should take it personal. You know, I'm saying one of the things that I've told a couple of people, if somebody came and said that my theology was off, I wouldn't be, I wouldn't be upset. You know what I'm saying? As a matter of fact, I get people every week saying that I'm a part of the white man's religion, I'm a part of a cult. You know, I'm this, I'm that. One of the things that you'll never see me doing is being upset about about it because I know I'm not. You know what I'm saying? And so at the end of the day it's unrealistic for for my my views never to be challenged. And so when you get defensive, it just kind of it kind of enforces what was said in the first place. And so, you know, but I say that to say this a third conversation will happen. Don't mean to be rude food. I know a lot of people were offended. It wasn't done out of ill will or malicious intent. It really wasn't. There's just just some things that Dr. Eric Mason, brother Thunder and even myself had some questions about what lng White taught with the but still like in official SDA documentation on their website in their in their in there in their statements and stuff even to this day day that we question I think the questions were legit was legitimate and we have the conversation soon when when we pray about who who we should have.

[Preston Perry]

On so kindly d differentiate for people between being a kind Christian and being a people pleaser. I will say we've kind of talked about this a little bit in previous seasons where I say how the my kind of kindness doesn't often come across as kindness because I think people think that kind and nice are the same thing. Nice is I've smiled. My tone is a particular way. I might have said yes to a request that you've made. I might have shown up to support your baby shower and brought you size 2 diapers to make sure that you have enough for the next seven weeks. I might have listened to you intentionally intently and stared in your eyes like that can be nice and still not kind.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

Because kindness one is a fruit of the spirit.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

So kindness is something that you cannot produce in the flesh. Kindness is something that the Lord has to do through you. Because kindness is a benevolence towards someone at the sacrifice of your own needs and desires. That's kindness. The Lord is like the Lord's kindness leads us to repentance. The Lord's Lord reigns on the just and the unjust. That's kindness. And so I think the big question in discerning between am I being kind or am I being a people pleaser is when I do these acts of service, who am I doing it for?

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

So if you are a people pleaser, then that means I'm doing nice stuff so that you'll accept me, so that I'll look a certain kind of way. Like I think Ananias and sapphire. That that was, wasn't. That looked kind.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

The Holy Spirit had to reveal that it was actually not demonic, but evil. Right. Like, oh, look at them. They're giving all this stuff away to the church and it's the Holy Spirit. It's like, nah, like they lied. Like they, they actually just want to look a certain kind of way and not be a certain kind of way.

[Channing McBride]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

So that's people pleasing. Kindness is. I'm doing this as unto the Lord and for your sake.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

Like you can't when you do that. You can't. People please. Because now it's like I gotta cry out and pray and ask for repentance and help. Like you gotta through so much internal work to make it worship.

[Channing McBride]

That's good.

[Preston Perry]

That it actually eliminates people pleasing.

[Channing McBride]

That's good. I mean you said it all. I don't think I need to add to that. You like, if you, if you're trying to just like chase out the, the appearance of kindness and not the reality of it, you're probably a people please.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

And so that's great.

[Preston Perry]

That was a good summary.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

Because people pleasing is wrapped up in fear.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

It's. I'm afraid of rejection, I'm afraid of all the stuff. So it does mean that if you, if you start to choose kindness over people pleasing, AKA niceness, then you might have a level of suffering attached to it.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Preston Perry]

Because not every, like some, if some people have been used to you doing all the things for their sake and not for God's sake, then when you finally make the decision to stop being a people pleaser and to just be kind, they will have to adjust to that new you.

[Channing McBride]

You know. You know, one way you can, you can distinguish if you're being kind or people please pleaser is if you dedicate truly praying for people. Because like for me, I started to do stuff for people when I actually started to pray for them. Like God started to lay stuff on my heart for to do for people. It was God, it was like, I don't even think I would be doing this for you if I didn't pray for you.

[Preston Perry]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

And God, like God literally led me to do it. Like I, like last week I called a friend to tell a friend something and it's not because I'm trying to. Like, it wasn't for no praise, it wasn't to make him like me. It was because I felt like the I, I had been praying for this particular friend and I gave this particular friend like a, like a a certain word. And he cried. You know what I'm saying? And that was the Lord. That was the Lord's kindness working through me because I pray for that person.

[Preston Perry]

Because real kindness. Kindness, I kind of hinted at. This is costly. Yeah, it really is costly. Like forgiveness is kindness. Yes, that's costly. Right? Like your. Your pastor getting up every week and developing a sermon with all of his heart, mind, soul, and strength. That's kindness. Yeah, Hopefully. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's. It's a costly type of thing. So I feel like we have talked about a lot. I know this episode is going long. We got to be about hour and 10. That's what it's given. But. But here we are.

[Amanda Reed]

Yeah.

[Channing McBride]

If you're a pic being kind with them sermons. But he got on skinny jeans.

[Preston Perry]

He still.

[Channing McBride]

He still being la me.

[Preston Perry]

He can wear skinny jeans. He can. You wear one if he.

[Channing McBride]

Like a hipster.

[Preston Perry]

What? Shut up. You can wear. Oh, I thought you meant hipster, like hippie.

[Channing McBride]

Oh, my gosh.

[Preston Perry]

But not like hippie like, you know, do acid. I mean, like hippie, like a lot of meat around the hips.

[Channing McBride]

Bye, y'. All.

[Preston Perry]

Bye. With the Peries is produced by the Perrys with support from Amanda Reed and she Channing McBride. Video recording and audio production by Matthew Baxter and Xavier Fairley, edited by the team at Tread Lively, Artwork by Hop and music by Swoop. Thank you for listening. Now go with God.