Episode Overview
Theme:
The Perrys explore the challenges and consequences of sexual sin, the importance of honoring the body per biblical teachings, and the path to redemption and restoration through faith. Drawing on their own stories of sexual brokenness and healing, Preston and Jackie Hill Perry discuss common cultural narratives about sex, the practical and spiritual implications of sexual choices, and God's design for sex and the body within marriage.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Cultural Shifts and Sexual Norms
- Preston is inspired to discuss this topic after reflecting on common attitudes:
“During the pandemic, what I started to see was a lot of people getting booed up … how do I know if my husband can make love well if I don’t try before marriage? … I think we’ve just become a little looser with how we view holiness in that way.” (04:00)
- The culture of “try before you buy” sets unrealistic expectations and undermines God’s design for sex.
2. Sexual Immorality – Inside and Outside Marriage
- Jackie explains sexual immorality as “sex that is outside the covenant, or there’s sexual immorality within covenant, … pornography, just perversion, stuff like that.” (05:22)
- Both hosts discuss how even forgiven sins have lingering consequences, particularly in memory and self-image.
3. Personal Stories of Sexual Brokenness
- Jackie: “I was a lesbian... watched porn from the age of seven till I became a Christian.” Her first sexual experience with a man was Preston, but due to her past, not “purity.”
(09:00) - Preston: Exposed to porn at age six, lost virginity at 12, many sexual partners by 14:
“Just grew up … in a very sexual, broken environment.” (09:48)
- Both affirm God’s ability to redeem, but stress how these experiences shape marriage and healing.
4. Consequences of Sexual Sin
- Jackie shares how pornography shaped her body image and sexual expectations:
“Pornography really affected the way I viewed my own body … I wonder if my body is good enough.” (12:05)
- Preston notes men, being “50% visual,” can bring unfair comparisons into marriage:
“You don’t want to be married to this person, but you’re comparing her thighs to that one.” (13:39)
5. The Blessing of Learning Within Covenant
- Jackie: Critiques the idea of needing to “test” sexual compatibility before marriage, and frames marriage as a lifelong process of learning (not “performance”).
- Memorable anecdote: Advice from a woman married 20 years:
“By year 10 … my husband was functioning with me at 40 like how he functioned with me at 30. But I’m not the same woman I was at 30 … so that also means the sex will be different.” (20:17)
- Both stress the safety and joy of sexual curiosity within covenant.
6. Sexual Experience Can Cloud Judgment
- Preston:
“If a dude know how to lay it down good, if a girl know how to do things good. But you don’t even take the time to know them personally. Sex is such a wrong motive.” (22:12)
- Having sex before commitment may blind someone to who their partner truly is.
7. Mutual Learning and Humility in Marriage
- Jackie:
“You might have been talented out there but you still got to learn me.” (25:28)
- She challenges notions of sexual ego:
“It might take you a year to actually satisfy her… because you have to learn her.” (26:49)
- Preston: Encourages men to be humble:
“You want your wife to enjoy you for real ... and that sometimes takes time ... every woman is not the same.” (30:13)
8. The Body as a Temple
- Preston: Cites 1 Corinthians 6 and the theology of the body:
“Do you not know that your bodies are temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?” (31:40)
- Both emphasize God’s extraordinary care for the physical body, not just the soul.
9. Sin, Addiction, and Satisfaction
- Jackie and Preston compare gluttony with sexual sin, noting both stem from the desire for immediate pleasure and can diminish natural satisfaction:
“The same thing can happen in sex ... you didn’t had all of these thrilling moments with sex outside of a safe covenant. And then when you get ... you’re so underwhelmed, you’re so unsatisfied.” (47:43)
10. Redemption, Testimony, and Hope
- Jackie:
“Even though practicing sexual immorality ... comes with its own share of consequences … That doesn’t mean it’s the end all be all.” (49:51)
- Preston:
“Your past doesn’t define you ... when we don’t have that story of purity, he’s a restorer of that too.” (50:41)
- John 4’s woman at the well is cited as a model:
“Even him revealing her past ... actually becomes the thing that’s her testimony.” (54:03)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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Jackie:
“You wonder if your body is enticing enough... because on these videos, they stuff be looking a certain kind of way. And then you look at yourself … it starts to indict even the way you view yourself.” (12:05)
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Preston:
“Marriage is holy and sacred, God wants us to experience that … the first time in the confines of marriage. … even if you’re out there with this idea that … it doesn’t really matter. It actually does matter.” (13:39)
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Jackie (On Sexual Performance):
“Just because you baked the cake in that pan and it worked, that don’t mean that I got the same pan… You still got to learn me.” (24:56-25:28)
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Preston:
“The world has conditioned us to find identity in how well we perform sexually. … you should go in your marriage free, you know what I’m saying? Because actually, it’s that freedom that’s gonna make you have a better sex life, not your ego.” (27:19)
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Jackie (Theology of Body):
“By the mercies of God, surrender your body as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God ... Jesus gave us not just his soul, he gave us his body.” (33:50-34:55)
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Preston:
“Gluttony is a huge stumbling block in the church that we just don’t talk about ... many of us are dying from preventable diseases because we idolize food.” (42:00)
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Jackie (On Addiction & Sin):
“Addiction… you overwhelm the things that … when you do … my first experience with coke was the most euphoric experience … every other time I tried coke it was me chasing that one experience and I could never find it.” (48:19-49:25)
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Jackie (Encouragement for Those Ashamed):
“You don’t have to be ashamed … ask the Holy Spirit, how do you want me to use what I’ve been through and what I’ve done to point to you?” (54:05-54:17)
Significant Timestamps
- 04:00: Preston highlights the “try before you buy” mentality
- 09:00: Jackie and Preston share their backgrounds with sexual sin
- 12:05: Jackie reflects on the impact of pornography on body image
- 20:17: Jackie discusses learning and change within marriage
- 24:56: The “cake and pan” sex analogy
- 31:40: Preston introduces biblical theology of the body
- 47:43: Link drawn between addiction, overindulgence, and underwhelming marriage sex
- 49:51: Jackie reassures listeners about redemption from sexual sin
- 54:03: The woman at the well as a testimony to God using our past
Conclusion: Tone & Final Encouragement
- Warm, candid, and humorous throughout—a hallmark of the Perrys.
- While unflinching about the pain and challenges of sexual brokenness, the episode is deeply hopeful.
- Final reminders:
- Sexual past doesn’t define you.
- God values and will redeem even what feels most broken.
- Learning, humility, and covenant are the way to sexual fullness.
Jackie:
“Don’t be ashamed of your broken sexual past, but know that God wants to use your sexual broken past so He can show you Himself.” (55:00)
Preston:
"Are we done? That feel like a close?” (55:05)
Jackie:
"Yeah, I think we’re good. Bye. Peace." (55:07)
