This week on Womanity, Dr. Amaleya Goneos-Malka speaks with South African Ambassador Robina (Ruby) Marks, who has served as Ambassador to Thailand, Sri Lanka (with accreditation to Nepal, Maldives, and Bangladesh) and Benin. Her story is multifaceted. She shows how circumstances (political and social constructs), history, identity, and values intersect to forge a life of impact. She also reflects on the ability to reframe even the direst situations as learning experiences, “Things don’t happen to you; they happen for you.”

A Childhood Shaped by Inequality

Born during apartheid South Africa, Ambassador Marks grew up on the margins of privilege as the daughter of a domestic worker in Cape Town. Her early experiences, playing in the backspaces of homes where opportunity was reserved for whites, sparked a deep awareness of inequality and ignited a belief that a different future was possible.

By the age of 13, her activism had begun, influenced not only by personal circumstances but by the broader socio-political landscape of the 1970s and 1980s. Key historical moments, from student uprisings to the rise of liberation movements, became the backdrop against which her political consciousness developed.

Activism Reimagined in a Democratic South Africa

With the advent of democracy in 1994, Ambassador Marks describes a profound shift, from resistance to responsibility. Activism was no longer about protest alone, but about translating ideals into policy and tangible change.

She played a pioneering role as the first Chief Director for Gender at South Africa’s Department of International Relations and Cooperation, ensuring that the fight for gender equality continued within institutional frameworks. Her journey highlights the importance of adapting activism to new contexts while staying rooted in core values.

Values as a Compass for Leadership

Ambassador Marks shares how, in the absence of positive role models in her community, she identified values in people that stood out for her and made her own composite. She attributes her resilience and direction to deeply ingrained values shaped by influential figures such as Nelson Mandela and Oliver Tambo, alongside strong women leaders and her mother.

These values, integrity, humility, and justice, became her guiding force, enabling her to navigate transitions and redefine her role across different phases of her life. Even in diplomacy, she emphasises that representing a country begins with representing its moral fabric

An Unexpected Path into Diplomacy

Becoming an ambassador was never part of Ambassador Marks’ original plan. Growing up in apartheid South Africa, such a career seemed unimaginable. Yet her work in gender advocacy opened doors, eventually leading her to represent South Africa across Asia and Africa.

She describes diplomacy as an extension of activism, one that requires balancing national interests with ethical responsibility. The role demanded not only technical expertise but a strong sense of identity, as “when people meet you, they meet your country.”

Diplomatic Impact Across Continents

Ambassador Marks shares powerful examples of her impact:

Thailand: Successfully negotiated the lifting of a citrus import ban, unlocking millions in trade and improving livelihoods for South African farm workers.
Sri Lanka: Contributed to reconciliation and peacebuilding efforts in a post-conflict society, while navigating the realities of diplomatic risk during periods of unrest.
Benin: Facilitated an academic partnership with the University of KwaZulu-Natal, resulting in hundreds of graduates in agricultural sciences; strengthening both education and food security.

These milestones reflect a consistent theme: diplomacy as a tool for economic empowerment, social cohesion, and long-term development.

The Power of Soft Diplomacy and Storytelling

Beyond formal diplomacy, Ambassador Marks has used storytelling as a transformative tool. She authored children’s books in local languages, both in Sri Lanka and Benin, to promote cultural identity, pride, historical awareness, and gender empowerment.

Her book Girls We Can, inspired by the historic women warriors of Benin, aims to inspire young girls while challenging societal norms. Through language and narrative, she champions dignity, inclusion, and pride in one’s heritage.

Lessons for the Next Generation

Ambassador Marks offers deeply practical and philosophical advice for young women:

Build self-belief: Confidence is foundational to pursuing any path.
Say no strategically: Discipline and focus require rejecting distractions.
Embrace fear: Opportunities for growth often lie in uncomfortable spaces.
Define your own success: Success is personal and multifaceted.
Be self-reliant: No one is coming to “rescue” you. Ownership of your journey is essential.

She also highlights the importance of “falling forward”, transforming failures and hardships into lessons that propel growth.

Turning Adversity into Strength

One of the most profound reflections comes from her experience of detention during apartheid. Rather than allowing it to define her negatively, she reframed it as a source of resilience and self-discovery.

Her philosophy is clear: nothing in life is wasted if you are willing to learn from it. Even the most difficult experiences can become catalysts for strength and purpose

A Message of Possibility

Closing the conversation, Ambassador Marks leaves us with a powerful reminder: you belong in spaces that may have historically excluded you. And once there, your responsibility is to open the door for others.

Her journey, from the Cape Flats to global diplomacy and more, stands as living proof that transformation is possible, not only for individuals, but for societies.

Tune in for more…

South African Ambassador – Ruby Marks – Tenacity