Women & ADHD Podcast – Episode 204 Guest: Rae Jacobson – “The Diagnosis Boom … and Backlash” Host: Katy Weber | Air Date: December 1, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode features a deeply insightful conversation between host Katy Weber and journalist/ADHD expert Rae Jacobson. Through Rae's personal story—growing up as the “smart kid who did terribly at school,” navigating early misdiagnoses, and ultimately receiving her ADHD diagnosis in her twenties—they explore the complexities of ADHD identification and experience in women. Their discussion traverses the current boom in ADHD awareness, the backlash against it, the nuances of diagnosis, and how widening the “neurodivergent umbrella” can both include and alienate. The episode also touches on internalized ableism, the impact of advocacy, and the evolution of ADHD conversations in media and society.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Rae’s Diagnosis Story: Navigating the Maze of Labels
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Early Misdiagnosis and Confusion (05:05–09:39)
- As a child, Rae was labeled with learning disabilities—initially “LDNOS” (Learning Disability Not Otherwise Specified), then dyscalculia and dysgraphia; ADHD was missed due to gender biases and less awareness of inattentive ADHD in girls during the 1980s.
- She excelled verbally but struggled academically, which confused educators and led to emotional distress.
- The turning point came at Landmark College, a Vermont school for students with learning differences, where staff immediately recognized clear signs of ADHD and prompted a proper evaluation.
“If you were to write down all of my ADHD symptoms, you'd be like, oh, that is a person with inattentive ADHD... But in the 1980s, girls didn't have ADHD. Inattentive ADHD wasn't something that we talked about.”
— Rae Jacobson [07:00]- Rae felt tremendous relief upon receiving her ADHD diagnosis at age 21—it gave her an explanatory framework and validation after years of feeling “special in all the wrong ways.”
“When I got diagnosed… it was so early in our conversation about women with ADHD. I was 21… all I wanted was to feel like I belonged anywhere.”
— Rae Jacobson [15:41] -
Landmark College as a Revelation (07:32–09:39)
- Landmark College introduced Rae to peers who shared her struggles; it was the first time she saw learning differences discussed as neutral or positive features rather than deficits.
“It was the first time I'd heard people my own age speak about it at all… I burst into tears because I was so relieved to finally know what this was.”
— Rae Jacobson [08:40]
The Expansion and Backlash of ADHD Awareness
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From Isolation to “ADHD is Everywhere” (13:19–21:10)
- Rae highlights the shift from invisibility in her young adulthood to today’s diagnosis “boom,” especially post-pandemic.
- The conversation touches on the familiarity and validity of newly diagnosed adults finding relief in community, versus broader skepticism and accusations of overdiagnosis.
“People start talking about ADHD, and then people start talking about, like, well, isn’t it real?... If they can relate to it, but it's not harming them, they dismiss it.”
— Rae Jacobson [18:00] -
Medication Stigma and Cycle of Skepticism
- Societal suspicion focuses on the use of stimulant medications, often clouding genuine need with narratives about “cheating” or drug seeking.
Widening the Definition: Community or Confusion?
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The Double-Edged Sword of an Expanding Umbrella (21:42–29:02)
- With broader definitions (including inattentive and internalized forms), more people identify with ADHD, but this inclusivity also invites pushback: does it dilute meaningful diagnosis?
- The tension between gatekeeping (excluding people) and dilution (losing specificity) is discussed.
“I think there is a difference between traits and impairment… If everybody has ADHD somehow all the time, then none of us do.”
— Rae Jacobson [24:57] -
Clinical Significance and Self-Doubt
- Katy voices concerns about “clinically significant” as the measure for intervention, given how ADHD-related struggles can be underestimated or normalized by society.
“Nobody comes to their ADHD diagnosis because their life is great and they're like, I need a name for this superpower.”
— Katy Weber [29:37]
ADHD in Youth vs. Adulthood: Shame, Help, and Stigma
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The Complex Effects of Early Diagnosis (38:38–44:30)
- ADHD diagnosis in children can be both a relief and a source of alienation—labels meant to help can reinforce feelings of brokenness, especially in rigid school environments.
“Adults don't really tell you you're worthy of help. They tell you you need help. And those two things for a kid are not the same.”
— Rae Jacobson [44:31]- Changes in social attitudes are noted: kids today may discuss diagnoses with more openness, but experiences vary widely based on context and support.
Gender, Society, and Neurodivergence
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Intersection with Culture and Capitalism (32:31–36:47)
- Rae and Katy critique the “hunter/farmer” brain theories’ limitations—structural barriers (capitalism, sexism, racism) shape neurodivergent experience, not just innate traits.
“We've created a world where so many people who live in it and have different types of brains cannot thrive… The further you stray from the white male norm… the harder it's going to be for you.”
— Rae Jacobson [34:24] -
Executive Dysfunction—Symptom or Societal Product? (56:15–58:24)
- They discuss how symptoms often attributed to ADHD (executive dysfunction, overwhelm) may also result from chronic stress and societal pressure, particularly for women.
Media, Advocacy, and Fact-Checking in the TikTok Age
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The Need for Responsible Storytelling (49:00–55:38)
- Rae describes the evolution and goals of her podcast “Hyperfocus,” seeking to blend journalistic rigor with neurodivergent lived experience.
“There’s you, there’s Laura, there are these wonderful podcasts who live in this personal space… I haven’t seen anything that does the journalistic side.”
— Rae Jacobson [50:47]- They discuss the importance of going beyond anecdote, tackling misinformation, and investigating complex issues (like ADHD “grifters” online and links to health risks in women).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
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On Diagnosis as a Journey, Not a Destination
“The thing about diagnosis is that it is just one thing, right? Like, it’s not the journey, it is a step… I got diagnosed ADHD. I was thrilled… and then I still didn’t know how to do any of the executive functioning things that had held me back my whole life.”
— Rae Jacobson [32:31–32:54] -
On Advocacy and the Shifting Narrative
“I pitched a book about women with ADHD in maybe 2006, and they were like, I just don’t think anyone cares or wants to hear about this. Now, it's the opposite. Now… the market is flooded.”
— Rae Jacobson [47:04–47:23] -
On the Power and Limits of Community
“If my kid can grow up without saying to herself, ‘What is wrong with me?’ that’d be great… So if we have to go through whatever this fog is… I'd rather have the flood [of awareness].”
— Rae Jacobson [47:27] -
On Finding Your People
“It feels like coming home when I’m having these conversations… it’s like taking off a too tight bra or something. Like, yes. Like, it feels so comfortable.”
— Katy Weber [59:16]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Rae’s Diagnostic Odyssey & Landmark College: 05:05–09:42
- Describing Internalized Ableism and Shame: 15:41–20:50
- The Boom and Backlash in ADHD Awareness: 13:19–21:10
- Defining Neurodivergence vs. Dilution: 21:42–29:02
- Societal Barriers and the Role of Capitalism: 32:31–36:47
- Diagnosis and Young People: 38:37–44:31
- Transformation in Media, Advocacy, and ‘Hyperfocus’: 49:00–55:38
Final Thoughts
Katy and Rae’s conversation weaves together personal experience, journalism, and cultural critique, capturing the messy, evolving story of ADHD for women. Their warmth, humor, and mutual respect make even the toughest topics approachable—leaving listeners both reassured and challenged to keep asking deeper questions.
For more information, check out Rae Jacobson on the Hyperfocus podcast and explore resources at womenandadhd.com.