Women & ADHD Podcast with Katy Weber

Episode: Sarah Collins: Burnout & the Pressure to Have It All Together
Date: June 3, 2024

Main Theme

This episode features Katy Weber in conversation with Sarah Collins, an activist, entrepreneur, and lifelong advocate for social justice. The central focus is on Sarah’s late diagnosis of ADHD and her journey through masking, burnout, societal expectations, and self-acceptance. The conversation weaves through Sarah’s personal and professional experiences, emphasizing the unique strengths and hidden costs of running a business as a neurodivergent woman, the pressure to perform, and the transformative potential of understanding and embracing neurodiversity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Journey to ADHD Diagnosis

• Early Confusion & Shame (05:21)

  • Sarah describes life-long confusion over her struggles (“everything was off”) and recounts an unclear mix of anxiety, depression, alcoholism, and “character defects.”
  • The difficulty of distinguishing trauma, substance abuse, and neurological differences:

    “So I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me... I thought I was a good person...yet constantly I was upsetting people, letting people down, and I really could not figure that out.” — Sarah Collins (06:56)

  • Staff turnover and shame in her business led to deeper self-examination, ultimately culminating in seeking out neurodiversity specialists during Covid.

• Intersecting Challenges (08:00–10:00)

  • Sarah’s ADHD journey is tangled with alcoholism (20 years sober), making self-perception and diagnosis extra complex.
  • Notably, she only found answers after decades of therapy failed to name ADHD:

    “Nobody had ever said anything about ADHD or neurodivergence.” — Sarah (10:56)

2. Masking, Burnout, and the High Cost of “Having It All Together”

• “On” vs. “Off” Selves (12:09)

  • Sarah excelled in public roles (“on stage, running meetings brilliantly”), but the ‘curtain closing’ resulted in collapse and guilt.
  • Differentiating between masking, natural exhaustion, and overwhelm—a decades-long struggle:

    “Behind closed doors I was this absolutely terrible person and yet I shone in the world.” — Sarah (13:05)

• Burnout is the Norm, Not the Exception (16:50, 51:08)

  • Both agree that burnout is ever-present, not an isolated event.

    “You’ve gone into burnout long ago... but, you know, I haven’t had burnout like that since.” — Sarah (51:08–51:22)

3. Reframing Strengths and “Defects”

• ADHD as a “Superpower” (14:04, 53:20)

  • Sarah proposes renaming ADHD:

    “This superpower alternative brain processing system.” — Sarah (53:20)

  • The conversation highlights the fine line between “madness” and “magic.”

    “A lot of the madness is what makes us who we are... those very things made me a success.” — Sarah (23:20)

• Stigma and Language (16:50, 21:07, 53:28)

  • Both decry the guilt and shame baked into the language of neurodiversity and urge for more empowering, descriptive terminology:

    “If anybody thinks there's a silver bullet, or if anyone thinks there's a pill, or if anybody thinks there's the perfect anything, then you must go and really think about the diagnosis again, because there isn't.” — Sarah (18:41)
    “I have an alternative brain processing system. How cool is that?” — Sarah (53:31)

4. Entrepreneurship, Innovation, and ADHD

• The “Maverick” Profile (22:53–27:46)

  • Sarah connects her entrepreneurial drive and resilience to neurodivergence, citing herself and figures like Steve Jobs as trailblazers whose brains “process things differently.”

    “Only if I was neurodivergent would I actually have survived it.” — Sarah (27:19)

  • Entrepreneurs and high performers often mask serious challenges—substance abuse, eating disorders, and “shadow” struggles.

• Risk-taking & Learning from Flops (29:59–33:43)

  • Katy and Sarah embrace the impulsivity (“I jump first, think later. People say you’re brave...” — Katy).
  • Flops are stepping stones:

    “Everything is information. Take that flop, that pancake flop, and learn from it. And that’s what I’m loving, is learning from those flops.” — Sarah (30:18)

  • Sarah shares her invention, the Wonderbag, was another hyperfocused “hack” for her ADHD brain.

5. Social Justice, Empathy & Activism

• Rooted in Injustice (39:15-42:45)
  • Sarah’s activism predates diagnosis—her life as a “vehement” questioner and champion for justice emerges from her ADHD empathy and sensitivity.

    “I acutely felt social injustice from the minute I can remember... that deep sensitivity and the feeling of social injustice and inequality and those things... can also be catalysts for social impact businesses.” — Sarah (39:25)

  • ADHD’s intensity makes her a powerhouse in crisis:

    “I manage brilliantly in a crisis... that’s when we shine, when everything zones in.” — Sarah (42:54)

6. Regulation, Self-care, and Community

• Routines & Rituals (46:47)

  • Sarah carves out “sacred” morning time, cold water swimming, creative outlets (knitting), and peer support as essential daily strategies.

    “I have very, very rigid routines. So I have to give myself time in the morning where nobody can disturb me... Cold water swimming has been a huge thing for me.” — Sarah (47:05)

  • Pain management and the ADHD “AA”:

    “Finding somebody who is like you. Like me. Another ADHD person... an hour every week, and it is absolutely golden.” — Sarah (49:30)

• Letting Go of Perfection & Control (51:22–52:00)

  • Accepting you cannot, and need not, be “on top of things.”

    “The world's not going to end if I don't answer an email today.” — Sarah (48:30)

7. Changing the Narrative

• Embracing Truth Over Perfection (54:09)

  • Sarah describes challenging “conventional” business interactions, opting for directness and honesty over politeness.

    “I only understand truth and honesty. And you cannot believe how now we're best friends...I just took away the bullshit.” — Sarah (54:09)

• Leadership for Future Generations (55:39)

  • Affirming neurodivergent contribution:

    “The neurotypical world is going to have to change...the people making impact, the people moving the dial are not the people that are going to drive this transition...I call us Gen T, the generation of transition.” — Sarah (55:39)

• Forgiving Ourselves & Realness (56:32)

  • Public acknowledgment and pride in neurodivergence, letting go of shame, empathizing with partners and colleagues.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Nobody gets off a comfortable sofa, so why is anybody going to change unless it becomes unlivable?” — Sarah Collins (16:50)
• “Those of us that have got to this point, we have an opportunity to change the narrative and share our stories.” — Sarah (18:25)
• “I would hire a sober alcoholic any day or an alcoholic in recovery over somebody else. But what I was saying is I would hire a neurodivergent person, because I believe 80, 99% if not 100% of people in AA are neurodivergent.” — Sarah (24:14)
• “You cannot believe how now we're best friends...I just took away the bullshit.” — Sarah (54:09)
• “I am proudly joining the neurodivergent community and...forgiving imperfection.” — Sarah (56:32)
• “It’s called superpower alternative brain processing system...” — Sarah (53:20)

Timestamps of Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 05:21 | Sarah’s initial struggles before ADHD diagnosis & impact of alcoholism | | 12:09 | Public masking vs. private exhaustion “behind closed doors” | | 14:04 | Discussion of “interest-based brain” and managing burnout | | 21:07 | Stigma, achievement, and masking in ADHD | | 22:53 | Alcoholics Anonymous, “character defects,” and neurodivergence | | 27:19 | The maverick/neurodivergent entrepreneur’s journey | | 30:18 | Flops as sources of information and innovation | | 33:43 | ADHD life hacks, Wonderbag origin story | | 39:15 | Activism, deep empathy, and social justice—roots in Sarah’s childhood | | 46:47 | Managing burnout: self-care, routines, cold water swimming, support systems | | 51:08 | Realization about burnout and its recurring nature | | 53:20 | “Superpower alternative brain processing system”—Sarah’s new term for ADHD | | 54:09 | Radically honest business interactions—embracing authenticity | | 55:39 | The emerging “generation of transition” and future neurodivergent leadership | | 56:32 | Embracing imperfection, self-forgiveness, and growing pride in neurodiversity | | 57:50 | Wonderbag's origin, functionality, and offer for listeners |

Resources & Offers

• Wonderbag: Non-electric slow cooker invented by Sarah Collins, designed to aid communities with limited resources—highlighted as an ADHD-friendly (and neurodivergent-friendly) kitchen hack.
  • Discount code for listeners: WOMENADHD20 at wonderbagworld.com
• Coaching: Katy Weber offers ADHD coaching for women, details at womenandadhd.com/coaching

Conclusion

Sarah Collins’ story is a resonant and validating testament to the complex lived experiences of neurodivergent women, especially those diagnosed later in life. The conversation is full of raw honesty about burnout, shame, masking, and the societal pressure to excel—intertwined with laughter, directness, and hope. Both Sarah and Katy champion rejecting stigma, embracing self-acceptance, and rewriting the narrative about neurodivergence, not as “defect,” but as a unique—sometimes challenging, always valuable—way of being in the world.

Memorable Closing Line:

“I have an alternative brain processing system. How cool is that?” — Sarah Collins (53:31)