Women & ADHD: “Team Women & ADHD: A Look Back, a Look Ahead” (Ep. 200)
Host: Katy Weber
Date: July 7, 2025
Overview
To mark the 200th episode of Women & ADHD, host Katy Weber reflects on her journey since her adult ADHD diagnosis, key revelations from interviewing women diagnosed later in life, and the growth and future of her strengths-based, neurodivergence-affirming coaching team. This episode is both a retrospective—exploring recurring themes in women's ADHD journeys—and a forward-looking introduction to her team of ADHD coaches, each of whom shares their personal experience and ethos around coaching. The tone is warm, validating, humorous, and deeply honest.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Impact of Adult Diagnosis (00:00–05:00)
- Receiving an ADHD diagnosis as an adult is both a relief and a source of grief.
- “When I would tell other people with ADHD I was diagnosed, they would cheer for me...an adult diagnosis is like a window opening. It's a lifeline and a chance to understand yourself. It brings a lot of relief, but it also brings a lot of grief.” (Katy, 00:00)
- The drive to find community and understanding led Katy to start the podcast during the pandemic—even before her official diagnosis.
2. Ten Major Revelations from 200 Episodes (05:00–19:30)
1. The Universal Question: “What’s Wrong with Me?”
Pre-diagnosis, many women grapple with profound confusion and self-criticism, asking why life feels so hard and why they fall short despite effort. This often leads to anxiety or depression misdiagnoses.
2. The Route to Diagnosis is Long and Winding
Women are frequently misdiagnosed—depression, anxiety, bipolar, BPD—because ADHD symptoms in women are misunderstood or dismissed, especially the executive functioning aspect.
3. Overlap with Autoimmune & Chronic Health Conditions
Noting a “striking overlap” with disorders like Hashimoto’s, endometriosis, fibromyalgia, PCOS, and POTS, Katy ties this to the chronic stress and nervous system dysregulation experienced by neurodivergent women.
- “That Venn diagram is like a stack of pancakes.” (quote attributed to Katie Osborne, 09:00)
4. Executive Function is Mistaken for Character Flaws
Society—and women themselves—label struggles in task initiation, memory, and organization as laziness or stupidity, not realizing these are manifestations of unaddressed ADHD.
5. DSM Criteria Doesn’t Capture Women’s Experience
The DSM’s ADHD criteria focus on externalized behaviors typical of young boys, missing internal experiences—like time blindness, emotional dysregulation, and masking—that dominate women’s lived reality.
- “When the lived experience doesn’t match the checklist, the problem isn’t necessarily that the experience is invalid. It’s that the checklist is incomplete.” (Katy, 13:35)
6. Diagnosis Brings Relief, But Also Grief
Adult diagnosis prompts mourning for lost years and missed support, not just celebration.
7. Community is Medicine
Belonging, storytelling, and validation are healing and central to ADHD wellbeing.
- “Hearing each other’s stories is what heals us. That moment of, ‘Oh my god, I thought it was just me’—that’s where the real work begins.” (Katy, 15:55)
8. Breaking the Stereotype of the ‘Hot Mess’
Many women with ADHD excel outwardly—professionally, academically—but live in chronic burnout due to perfectionism and masking.
- “Nobody got their diagnosis because they were like, ‘I’m doing amazing. I think I need a name for this superpower.’” (Katy, 17:20)
9. Therapy Must Be ADHD-Informed
Traditional therapy often misses executive dysfunction; an integrative approach combining therapy and coaching is vital.
10. Mindset Coaching is Transformative
Coaching is less about productivity tools and more about reframing self-perception and providing accountability.
- “She encouraged me to believe in myself. She helped me articulate what I even wanted to achieve.” (Katy, 18:54)
Meet the Women & ADHD Coaching Team (19:30–53:28)
Katy introduces the new coaching team—fellow women with ADHD committed to a strengths-based, affirming approach—and interviews Emily Weinberg, Tasha Post, and Lindsay Buchanan about their paths into coaching.
Emily Weinberg (21:01–30:46)
- Journey into Coaching:
- Initially doubted her qualification: “How could you possibly help somebody else with all of this when you’re right there in it with them?” Realized her lived experience is her qualification.
- Coaching Philosophy:
- Values the “moment of relief” for clients realizing they can show up as themselves, with no need to apologize for their way of thinking or communicating.
- “I love meandering stories, I hate linear stories. I will zone out, tell me all—bop back and forth—that’s how I know you’re making sense of it all.” (Emily, 26:10)
- On Client Breakthroughs:
- "When you notice that shift in their brain is now filtering in the positive, not just the negative—which was usually its previous default. That’s really, really cool." (Emily, 39:00)
Tasha Post (31:51–40:47)
- From Speech Therapy to Coaching:
- Sought to “help people, but free of bureaucracy.”
- Realized the true barrier was not lack of strategy or tips but shame and emotion: “My emotions were ruling my life and the biggest one was shame...I had a surplus of knowledge, but my emotions were getting in the way of accessing it.” (Tasha, 34:10)
- Client Transformation:
- Cherishes, “those moments where you can see, like, nobody has ever gotten it the way I just got it for them right now.” (Tasha, 38:23)
- Approach:
- Focus on shifting from self-judgment to empowerment, normalizing ADHD experiences.
- “If that [accountability coaching] worked, it would have worked by now. We know all the tips and tricks. The thing is, our emotions get in the way of accessing what we know.” (Tasha, 35:04)
Lindsay Buchanan (41:49–53:28)
- Personal & Family ADHD Journey:
- Undiagnosed through most of adulthood; a “lifelong journey.”
- “I always felt like there was way more that I wanted to be doing. And I couldn’t figure out how to do whatever that was. I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know if it was a different job...or, you know, how to go about pursuing something different.” (Lindsay, 42:00)
- Catalyst:
- Identified ADHD through her sister (a psychologist) researching for her own son, then recognizing the family pattern.
- Coaching Experience:
- Loves “holding the space” for clients to have lightbulb moments and self-acceptance: “It feels sacred almost...for them to feel safe enough to share it and for me to feel like I can hold the space for it and accept it.” (Lindsay, 49:37)
- Ripple Effect:
- Finds meaning in knowing her clients’ transformation can impact whole families.
- “What they may take away and then share with their family or their loved ones or their friends or children...that goes out in ripples.” (Lindsay, 52:26)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “An adult diagnosis is like a window opening. It's a lifeline and a chance to understand yourself. It brings a lot of relief, but it also brings a lot of grief.” — Katy Weber (00:00)
- “When the lived experience doesn’t match the checklist, the problem isn’t necessarily that the experience is invalid. It’s that the checklist is incomplete.” — Katy Weber (13:35)
- “Community is medicine...that moment of, ‘Oh my god, I thought it was just me’—that’s where the real work begins.” — Katy Weber (15:55)
- “I had a surplus of knowledge, but my emotions were getting in the way of accessing that knowledge.” — Tasha Post (34:10)
- “It feels sacred almost...to be able to...hold the space for somebody else to share whatever it is that is on their mind or their heart.” — Lindsay Buchanan (49:37)
Important Timestamps
- 00:00 — On the mixed feelings of diagnosis
- 05:00 — Start of “Top 10” ADHD revelations
- 13:35 — Critique of DSM and diagnostic bias
- 15:55 — Community as healing
- 19:30 — Introduction of coaching team
- 21:01 — Emily Weinberg’s journey to coaching
- 31:51 — Tasha Post’s career pivot and coaching philosophy
- 41:49 — Lindsay Buchanan’s ADHD journey and the “sacred” space of coaching
- 53:28 — Looking ahead, team information & closing
Tone & Takeaways
The episode is candid, affirming, and filled with warmth and humor. Key takeaways:
- Late-diagnosed women’s ADHD is deeply misunderstood and often masked.
- Core healing happens through self-acceptance and community, not productivity hacks.
- Coaching transforms lives not by fixing people, but by fostering validation, reframing, and empowerment.
- The “Women & ADHD” community and coaching team are guided by authenticity, personal experience, and a strengths-based approach.
Resources
- Women & ADHD Coaching: womenandadhd.com/coaching
- Further free resources: womenandadhd.com