Sophia (1:41)

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High Key Podcast Host (2:23)

High Key Listen to High Key, a new weekly podcast. You better listen. Speaking of tanning, I was sunning my nether regions. Because I read that you're supposed to, like, get sun not only in your mouth, but also in your other orifices. Wait, are you talking about you put your hole into the sun? I did. That's crazy. Downward dog mooning the sun. I was going to say. Is it cheeks open?

Ryan Seacrest (2:45)

It's cheeks open all the way wide.

High Key Podcast Host (2:49)

Who's holding them? Enough of that nonsense. Now listen to High key on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Sophia (2:58)

Hey, everyone, it's Sophia. Welcome to work in progress. Hi, Whip Smarties. Today we are joined by a guest who has made some serious waves in Reality T. And I'm just so excited to talk to her. Her life has been wild, and from an exterior that could look very shiny and perfect to sharing experiences and an interior that has been anything but. I really admire the way she's chosen to be so upfront about her life. Today's guest, you might know, is Macy Neely from Hulu's the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. The show has clearly taken the world by storm. But in the beginning, in particular, Bar scratched the surface of Macy's personal story. She became a mom at 20. She lost her son's father in a tragic car accident. She went back to college. As a single mother, she's given glimpses of these challenging things that she's been through that eventually led to the show she works on with her friends. But now she's telling us everything in a memoir that honestly surprised me with how both inspiring and darkly funny it is. She really lifts the veil on what growing up in her culture with strict standards, with athletic prowess, and then, frankly, blowing it all up looked like. She talks about temptation and an abusive relationship and dealing with pretty dark and dangerous things. Her memoir is called told you so, and in it, Macy captures the period from college to adulthood that really shaped her and that made her into the woman we met on Secret Lives. She did this with real brutal honesty and grace and humor, and I really appreciate that. She offers us a real heartfelt portrayal of a woman who's finding her voice and finding her strengths by embracing her scars instead of being ashamed of them. I actually think that's a really universal thing for so many of us. So let's dive in with Macy Neely. Obviously, you know, when. When I sit down with somebody, they're always in the middle of something, right? Like, it's a promo thing. Your book is coming out, someone has a movie coming out, whatever. It's all always so exciting. But I Do think there's a really interesting experience as a. As a person who lives a life in public in some way, where people don't always know about your life before. They don't always know about your life in any real totality. It's always a piece. So I'm really curious for you, especially as a mom, I think a lot about the inner children that we carry with us.

Macy Neely (6:10)

Yes.

Sophia (6:11)

And I wonder if you could go back to before all of this and all of the sort of ups and downs of life and hang out with your younger self. When you're, you know, 8 or 9 or 10 years old, do you feel like you'd hang out with that little girl and be like, oh, my God, I see how she's me? Yeah.

Macy Neely (6:31)

Honestly, I think I would. I feel. The one thing I feel like is a little different is like, I was a really, like, sensitive, like, shy child. So then part of me is like, oh, that's weird that, like, I do what I do now, like, the public eye and stuff. But. But I will say she's still there, though, because, like, I still get nervous. Like, I do stuff on camera or whatever, and I still. Sometimes it's like, oh, like, ooh. Like, I get, like, a little nervous in the beginning sometimes, like, not filming for, like, our show, but, like, if it's like, an interview or something, there's. Every once in a while it's like, oh, look at the camera and say, like this. And I'm like, oh. Like, sometimes I'm like, ooh. Like, I get, like, a little nervous still. And so I think that's where, like, the inner me comes out. But, like, I think, yeah, I would definitely still recognize that child because I think deep down, I do have, like, a very soft, sensitive side. And, like, I just don't show it, like, a ton. Like, I think it comes out, you know, when you see it in the book and stuff. But, like, I sometimes mask it because, like, sometimes, like, I used to think that being softer sensitive was, like, a weakness, but it's really not. It's like a strength, because it's like, a strength for good kind of thing, you know? So, yeah, I don't know.

Sophia (7:36)

Oh, I totally agree. And. And I think. I think that's a byproduct, certainly, of.

Macy Neely (7:42)

Being.

Sophia (7:44)

Not just living a life in public, but feeling like you're always kind of on the chopping block of public scrutiny. It does teach you to withdraw a little bit. And I think, though, it's. It's good to talk about a. Because you're Right. Sensitivity really is, I think, a, superpower. And B, I also have to say that never goes away, the nervousness. People will say, you know, I've been doing this for 20 years, and I'll be at something getting ready to present, you know, an award to someone or give a talk, and I'll. You know, I always have that moment where I'm like, oh, my God, am I going to have. My anxiety is kicking in. I feel like I have to pee. Do I have to pee? Do I have time to pee? Like, I panic, and people backstage at things will go, you get nervous. And I'm like, girl, I am nervous for every event. I am nervous every time I have to do a red carpet. Every time I have to do an interview. Like, that doesn't go away.

Macy Neely (8:36)

Yeah.

Sophia (8:37)

So I offer that only to say.

Macy Neely (8:38)

I guess that's good to know. Because I was like, yeah. I mean, like, it's like, you get used to things, but you still get nervous. And I'll say, this is this. It's like, the dumbest example, but I was at this, like, lunch for, like, women business owners, and they were going around saying, like, what's your name? And, like, what do you do? Like, what's your business? And, like, why is, like. As I was getting closer to me, like, oh, my gosh, what am I going to say? Like, my nerves, even in this small setting, I'm like, why am I anxious? Like, in this just cozy, small setting, Like, I don't know. Like, so I feel like it still. Yeah, like, definitely hits me, even in the small situations. It for sure does.

Sophia (9:10)

Yeah. I don't think that goes away, but I do think if. If you can kind of zoom out a little bit and say to yourself, oh, I'm just gonna carry this feeling. Yeah, it's just the thing you're carrying instead of your whole experience. That would be my own.

Macy Neely (9:23)

Yeah.

Sophia (9:24)

Advice not to sound like I'm your mom, but, you know.

Macy Neely (9:26)

No, but I love that because I feel like it's like we're still just, like, navigating everything. And, like, we did our first show in Vegas, like, mom talk stuff. And, like, all of us were like, wait. Like, we're nervous, but, like, at least we got to do it, like, all together.

Sophia (9:38)

Wait, what was the show we did?

Macy Neely (9:40)

Like, it was so random. It was like a Vegas kind of, like, variety show where we went out there, we did, like, we read, like, confessions, because I have a page called Sinner Sunday where I, like, people are writing anonymous confessions, and, like, we'll Read them. They're usually pretty, like, juicy or like sometimes people just like, want advice.

Sophia (9:54)

I can't believe I didn't know you did a show in Vegas.

Macy Neely (9:57)

Yes, we did, like one show. We'll probably do another one. I don't know exactly when, but like we were supposed to do, I think at least two or three. So we did one and yeah, it was kind of like a variety show. We had the Chippendales there for sure. Like, we had like, it was fun. It was like a mixture of like everything. Like, I guess you can go back in time and think of like the Ellen show or whatever. Like something similar to that where it's kind of like just random, I guess. Like a mixture. Like we played games with people and like, we brought people on stage and stuff. And like we had like a twerking contest and stuff. It was really fun, actually.

Sophia (10:26)

I had a really good time, so. Great. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. Before we get too far, because I'm like, wait, we're already back in the present and I have young life questions. Yeah, so when we think about that, you know, sweet, sensitive little girl. I know you were a tennis player. You got a tennis scholarship to byu and obviously that's when everything really shifted in your life. When you were preparing for that and growing up in sport, like as a young woman, what did you think your future would look like? Because I would imagine you didn't think it would be this.

Macy Neely (10:59)

No, no, no. I thought in my head, I guess my life goal, like growing up was like, okay, like, I'm going to get a tennis. Tennis schol, I'm gonna go to BYU kind of thing, because, like the Mormon thing to do, I'm gonna meet the husband, have the kids. But I was like, if I have a career, which I wasn't planning on doing growing up, because I was just like, you know, my mom was a stay at home mom, so she's kind of like wanted to fall in those footsteps, you know, I was like, if I have a career, it's gonna be like, I want to be like a pro tennis player. Like, it's what I was thinking of doing. And then, you know, when I got a little bit older, I thought it'd be fun to do like E News or like be like a broadcaster, like a sports broadcaster. Like, it was along the lines of those if I did have a career. But like, part of me was just like, I'll just want to be like a stay at home mom, you know, which is fine. You was what I thought I was gonna do. It's like, I never thought I'd be sitting here doing all I'm doing for sure, which is super exciting, but, like. Yeah, I know. I never pictured myself having, like, a career outside of being a mom.

Sophia (11:49)

Wow. Yeah. So then what was your experience? Like, you know, you go to college, you're thinking, eventually you'll be a parent maybe. Maybe, you know, you'll be an athlete. And then life shifts. You get pregnant, you go through tragedy. Like, can you walk me through kind of from the start of your freshman year to everything shifting. What was that timeline?

Macy Neely (12:16)

Like, it was all, like, really fast, I guess. So, like, I met my abusive boyfriend when I was a senior in high school. So, like, I dated him through, like, my senior year of high school and through, like, mo. Like, the first half of my freshman year. So I was going through that. I was going through an abusive relationship that was, like, very toxic. Like, very. I just felt, like, very trapped. Like, I didn't feel like I could get out until he physically left the state. And that's when I decided, like, okay, I can, like, finally pull the plug and be done. And at this point, if he did try to retaliate, like, and try to get me in trouble, whatever, I was like, I don't even care because, like, I'm that miserable that if I stay in this relationship, like, I don't even want to be here kind of thing. Like, it was that bad.

Sophia (12:52)

Can you. What do you mean by that? Like, if he tried to get you in trouble?

Macy Neely (12:56)

Yeah, because the BYU honor code. And since I wasn't following it, he kept blackmailing me. So he was like, okay, well, I have pictures of you dinging, and I'm gonna send it to them, and they're gonna kick you out. You know, it's like, I was stuck because, like, of that, you know, like, I. I tried to break up with him so many times, and I did, and I went back partially because of, like, is it, like, Stockholm syndrome? Like, you go back to your abuser and, like, that, but also because, like, I was blackmailed for a lot of the times that I, like, tried to get out. So, like, I felt like I was stuck until, like, he physically was leaving the state. And I was like, this is my shot.

Sophia (13:30)

Right? Almost like the shift in geography gave you the. The. The mental and emotional space you needed.

Macy Neely (13:37)

Yes.

Sophia (13:37)

I mean, what a crazy thing. Like, not to be the nerdiest person you've ever talked to, but when you consider the fact that our. Because I think about all the insane that happened to Me in my early 20s. This is the reason I'm thinking about this. One of the things I'll always say when reflecting is like, well, you know, our frontal lobes aren't even developed till we're 26. And it's. It's sort of my. My gallows humor for what I went through.

Macy Neely (14:03)

Yeah.

Sophia (14:04)

But it's also so crazy to think about. You were a literal teenage girl.

Macy Neely (14:09)

Yes.

Sophia (14:10)

And you were going through all of this, and it's like, nobody. I don't know. I don't think. I think now the conversations around abusive relationships are a little more pervasive, and especially, you know, how to look out for those signs of emotional abuse. Narcissistic abuse.

Macy Neely (14:30)

Yes.

Sophia (14:31)

But at least when I was 21, nobody was having those conversations.

Macy Neely (14:35)

Yeah.

Sophia (14:36)

And I remember the aha moment of sitting down with an adult who handed me a literal pamphlet.

Macy Neely (14:45)

Yes.

Sophia (14:45)

And was like. I don't remember if it was, like, 12 things or 15 things, but let's say it was 12. It was like, there's 12 things on this checklist, and I can check 10 out of 12 for you. Like, there were only two that this adult, old enough to be my parent, couldn't check off for me. And I was like, wait, what? And it did something for me. Seeing it in writing did something for me. Did you have a moment like that that coincided with the geographic distance, or was it really just he got far enough away from you that you could see it?

Macy Neely (15:17)

What's so bizarre about you saying that is like, it's pretty much the same thing that happened to me except for mine. I googled it. Like, so I was like, I didn't even know I was being abused. Like, it was so bad. But I was like, this seems like this is, like, weird. Like, something is off. Like, because he just kept saying, like, manipulating me, being like, well, you've never been a real girlfriend before. It's like, you don't know. And so I finally Googled, like, what are, like, signs of abuse? And, like, I could check off, like, pretty much every single one. This list. It was like, this long list on Google, this, like, website, and it was like, the DV hotline, whatever it was. And I was like, oh, my gosh, again. That's when it, like, really hit me. I'm like, I am, like, being abused, and I feel like I already kind of, you know, subconsciously, like, something's not right, you know? Yeah. But, like, seeing it there, and I'm like, okay, I'm not crazy. Like, this is, like, really happening.

Sophia (15:57)

Yeah.

Macy Neely (15:57)

And it's also funny too, because you talk about the brain. I say that all the time. Cuz my dad told me growing up, like, you know, I was like kind of making those decisions. He's like, well, once your brain's developed, like, come talk. Like, you'll, you'll understand. Yeah, you're so dumb. And then like once I like got older, I was like, wait, like, I don't know. He's so right.

Sophia (16:13)

Like, you're like, is this a moment where I actually admit to my dad that he was right or am I going to regret saying that?

Macy Neely (16:20)

And I'll take it. And it is so true though, because like the decisions or like things that you think are like a good decision or like, oh, it's just fun. Like back then I'm like, oh my gosh, like the fact that I thought this was good or this is okay, you know, it's just crazy what you do when you're younger compared to now.

Sophia (16:36)

Girl. Same. I'm like, we have some stories we need to tell. Not on this podcast. Like, oh my God, Yes. We'll be back in just a minute, but here's a word from our sponsors. Degree Advanced the world's number one antiperspirant provides up to 72 hours of protection against sweat and odor that comes with life. Degree is the wake up workout. Antiperspirant. The dashing, darting, carpool, honking, get the kids off to school. Antiperspirant. The work from home and do the laundry, grocery shop on your lunch hour, never take a break Antiperspirant. So do what you need to do. Work how you need to work. Sweat moves you forward. Degree is here to make sure it doesn't hold you back. Degree here for sweat Tired of spills.

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High Key Podcast Host (18:23)

At Walgreens, we know it's hard to pay attention to important flu information. What does keep your attention? Sports commentary.

Ryan Seacrest (18:31)

Here we are, fourth quarter of the year, the clock's winding down and flu season starting up. So don't get caught off guard.

Macy Neely (18:36)

Make your move to Walgreens and get that flu shot.

Ryan Seacrest (18:39)

They even know which other vaccines you.

Sophia (18:41)

May need and when you need them.

Ryan Seacrest (18:42)

That's how you stay in the game.

High Key Podcast Host (18:45)

So walk in or schedule an appointment today. That's the human kind of help.

Sophia (18:49)

Walgreens vaccines subject to availability, state, age.

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High Key Podcast Host (19:24)

High Key Listen to High Key, a new weekly podcast. You better listen. That's literally the definition of being an Aries moon. Just one little spicy off comment. That's all it takes. Everyone loves me at the cancer and then the Aries comes out and they said, who the is that? No, you're gonna come for me being an Aries and you have a sag moon. Get out of here. But I'm a Capricorn rising, so that honestly balances it out and makes me more likable. Okay, that is your Capricorn talking. Listen to High key on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast tests.

Sophia (20:07)

Okay, so you have your aha moment looking at your computer and then what? Like, what were your steps? How did you cut it off? Go back home? Like, what did that look like for you? And I, and I ask only because, I mean, I obviously don't want you to have to relive a very traumatic moment. But I think sometimes when we talk about these things, other people that are going through it who maybe haven't been handed the pamphlet or looked at the website can go like, oh, that's my story. Or, oh, maybe I could call my parents and ask to come home. Or maybe I could tell a friend you know, like, how did you start to make sense of it?

Macy Neely (20:47)

Yeah, so. So when he left, because we were in Utah and he was from California just like I was. And so he went back to California. I'm still in Utah. I have, like, about almost two months left of school before the semester ends. And so I feel like, yeah, like, the g. The. The change of him leaving was very helpful for me because he' not physically here, so I don't have to worry about him. But I think, too, like, even after he left, it's like you were so manipulated and, like, brainwashed that I was like, I think I texted him, like, you're such a great person. Like, part of it was because I'm like, I don't want him to retaliate. So it's like, it was two reasons. Second of all, I was like. I started believing it. I was like, oh, my gosh. Because he's always saying, like, you'll never get any better than me. No one's gonna want you. And, like, all these things and, like. And you believe it, right? When he left, it was like, a full week of, like, I didn't go out with friends. I, like, stayed in my dorm room. I was, like, sad. Like, all the things, right? And then it's like I met my son's father right after that. So it was like, back to back. Like, I met different guys. I feel like I, like, was able to kind of move on from that relationship because I met someone different, but also because it was like, I just started going on, having fun. Like, this is what life is about. Like, I was so. I felt like a captive. Like, I feel like I was, like, in prison when I was, like, dating him. And once he left, I started going out with friends. I'm like, wait. Like, this. This is so fun. Like, this is what I was missing. And then shortly after, I met my son's father, and so we weren't in a relationship, but we started, like, dating. And I was like, this is, like, what it should feel. Like it should feel fun. Like, I shouldn't have to worry about, like, what I'm wearing and, like, all the different things that I would get in trouble for, like, every.

Sophia (22:16)

Well, that's the crazy thing when you're in a relationship where you're getting in trouble. I remember the shift for me of getting out of my version of this situation and the person I eventually started dating. Like, we were going out with friends, and he stopped me to be like, you look so beautiful. And I caught myself kind of jump because I was waiting for the butt. And I remember he looked at me and I was like. And he goes, what? And I said, you're not gonna, like, tell me to change my clothes or that I shouldn't wear this out of the house? And he goes, why would I ever do that? I'm so proud to go out with you.

Macy Neely (22:56)

Exactly.

Sophia (22:56)

And it was this shift of, like, oh, I'm not supposed to be demeaned. I'm not supposed to be demeaned for the things that attracted you to me. Now that you have me, it's like, it's such a bait and switch.

Macy Neely (23:08)

It is.

Sophia (23:09)

And I think it's really amazing that you could even identify that, you know, obviously now, but at the time, and realize, oh, I deserve to feel light in the. In the presence of someone instead of scared.

Macy Neely (23:21)

Yes. No, exactly. And I was like, wait. Like, I should be having fun. Like, I should. Shouldn't feel this, like, guilt even when I was doing nothing wrong, because I. Like, I would feel that. Because I would get in trouble for, like, everything. Like, I'd be at a tennis practice, and, like, my laptop was at his apartment, and he would go through, like, all my texts from before I met him, and then he would send me screenshots and be like, f you. And I'm like, this is before I even knew who you were. Like, just the craziest stuff that, like, I can't. Like, when I say a lot, I'm like, was that not so obvious? But, like, when you're 18 and you're young, you're just like. And you're so manipulated, you just don't even know any better, honestly.

Sophia (23:56)

It also doesn't start there.

Macy Neely (23:58)

It's like, no, it doesn't.

Sophia (23:59)

When I've spoken to other people about this, I think it's important to remember the dynamic is very much like, you know, the classic cartoon snowball. It starts really small, and as it rolls down the hill, as time passes, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

Macy Neely (24:14)

Yep.

Sophia (24:15)

But you're not really tracking how big the snowball is from here to here. You only really see how giant it is when you compare it, like, where it started to where it ends. And I think people who haven't been through it miss that. It is a slow build. And by the time you can't ignore it anymore and you feel like a prisoner in your own home or in your own body or both.

Macy Neely (24:39)

Yep.

Sophia (24:40)

You can't even fathom how it got that bad.

Macy Neely (24:43)

Yep.

Sophia (24:44)

Because if it started there, you'd be like, you psycho. Get away from Me.

Macy Neely (24:47)

Exactly.

Sophia (24:48)

You'd bail on this, like, crazy stranger. But it doesn't start there.

Macy Neely (24:52)

And, like, that's what's so smart to talk about. Because people sometimes don't understand it unless they've been through it. Because they're like, well, like, why don't you just get out? And I'm like, yeah, if you only knew. Like, they just don't understand. Like, it's so obvious on the outside looking in, but when you're in it, you don't realize it until it's like, too late or until like, it hits you like a ton of bricks.

Sophia (25:11)

It really draws a parallel for me because you, you've talked on a few, you've talked in a few interviews about how told you so. Which for our friends at home is the title of the new memoir.

Macy Neely (25:22)

Yep.

Sophia (25:23)

Has actually been 10 years in the making.

Macy Neely (25:25)

Yes.

Sophia (25:26)

And I think about that, you know, it's sort of similar. Like, told you so is your snowball.

Macy Neely (25:31)

Yep.

Sophia (25:31)

It's complete. But it took 10 years for you to get there.

Macy Neely (25:35)

Yep.

Sophia (25:36)

So obviously we're, we're hinging on this big life altering moment, but your story is so much larger than that.

Macy Neely (25:45)

Yeah.

Sophia (25:46)

I would imagine a lot of people assume that this event at 19 is, is where the story starts. But where do you feel like it really begins?

Macy Neely (25:55)

I feel like the story begins, like, I mean, I, I touch on my childhood a little bit in the book. Not a ton because, like, I know people want to hear, like, the juicy stuff or the interesting stuff that like, really like, impacted my life, you know, But I think, like, I wrote a little bit about the childhood, but that's where I feel like my story starts. Because people watch the show, right? The secret lives, more wives, and they see us and stuff, but they have no idea that, like, my whole life was like, tennis, like, ingrained in me is like tennis. Like, that is like my upbringing. I tell people, like, I never got grounded growing up. I didn't do anything bad, never snuck out, like, nothing. It was only for tennis. Like, if I played maybe like really bad or like, had a bad attitude, whatever, get grounded and stuff like that. But, like, I was just like a chill kid. Like, and then tennis was just like ingrained in me. And it's like, I have a very competitive nature and it doesn't really come out, like, as career wise. I don't, I, I'm always against, like, the competitive side. It's like, don't compete. Like, we. Like when you want to celebrate people's opportunities and like, no, like, have an Abundance, mindset that, like, whatever, it'll all come back to you, you know, like, and cheer people on. So I feel like I don't like saying, like, oh, we really competitive. Like, but. Yeah, but not in my career. Like, that's different, you know?

Sophia (27:02)

Yeah.

Macy Neely (27:02)

I'm like, of course I want to succeed, but it is different from sports where you feel that there's just like the drive like, that. I love the feeling of like, sweating and like, going home and getting my bed, like, with sore muscles. And I actually haven't had that feeling in a long time and I kind of miss it. So that's. I'm like, probably so passionate about it right now. And I actually just put a pickleball court in my backyard. So, like, I'm like, I got to get out there and just release some endorphins. But. So I feel like that's kind of where my story starts, is like the upbringing of just like, my family's a big tennis family. And like, yeah, that's why I went to BYU and like a full ride tennis scholarship is because, like, that's what I was working for my whole life. And that's why, like, going through that abusive relationship was so impactful and like, everything I went through because I felt like I was losing everything with my tennis career. Oh, it's just a big part of my identity. It's like the competitive side and like the athlete in me, I guess.

Sophia (27:51)

Yeah. Well, also, how regimented you can be. And you know, not for nothing, athletes grow up being raised to be coachable.

Macy Neely (28:02)

Yeah.

Sophia (28:02)

Which I think is such a skill, but also can be a hindrance in terms of a person who wants to control you in a negative way.

Macy Neely (28:11)

Yeah.

Sophia (28:12)

Like, I, I think a lot about it. There's, there's. I've learned because my, My partner was a professional athlete and in the time that we've been together, I've learned so much about that, like, perform at all costs thing that athletes have, which also actors have.

Macy Neely (28:28)

Yeah.

Sophia (28:29)

When you are a performance athlete or a performance artist, and so many people's jobs and schedules ride on your ability to do what you're told when you're told to do it. It's a gift, but it also can really make you lose yourself.

Macy Neely (28:43)

Yeah.

Sophia (28:45)

You really can. You can be so good at performing that you forget to check in with how you actually feel.

Macy Neely (28:52)

Yeah.

Sophia (28:52)

And I think there's something really interesting about that especially. It makes me especially curious for you because not only did you grow up in the, in the athletic arena of performance, but now Being on your show.

Macy Neely (29:07)

Yeah.

Sophia (29:08)

You know, at least when I'm on a show, I'm playing somebody else.

Macy Neely (29:11)

Yeah.

Sophia (29:12)

Like, it makes me feel so uncomfortable that when I actually go out and have to promote my work, people want to talk to me about my life. I'm like, can't we just talk about the work? Like, yeah. And, like, every time I've ever talked about my life, I'm like, do I regret this? I don't like this. You know, it, like, really trigger. It really triggers all my anxiety.

Macy Neely (29:28)

Yeah.

Sophia (29:29)

So I'm sort of fascinated for you because I've heard that especially in, you know, the world of. Of reality, like, people who do it obviously love it, but that it can also be hard because the way the shows are produced, everyone kind of gets given a role.

Macy Neely (29:44)

Yeah.

Sophia (29:45)

So how much of yourself do you feel is properly or authentically represented on the show? Like, does the show make you feel more like you can be yourself, or has. Has being on a show where you get clipped and edited made you a little more nervous to be yourself?

Macy Neely (30:04)

Yeah, I think it goes both ways. I think I was more nervous for the first season because I was like, I don't know how this is edited. I don't know what it looks like. I thought that everything we filmed was, like, in the show. And so I think there's some times where I go home at night and I'd be like, I couldn't sleep. I'm like, well, what if, like, it looks like this?

Sophia (30:19)

Or, what?

Macy Neely (30:20)

Like, I would get, like, so stressed about it. And then once I saw how much was cut out, I was like, oh, like, we're chilling. Like, I, like, wasn't that worried anymore, but.

Sophia (30:28)

Oh, that's nice to know.

Macy Neely (30:30)

So, like, yes and no, because I feel like I'm always myself, like, when I film, but, like, obviously so much gets cut. Then I'm like, wait, like, you cut my humor here? Like, the funny things. Like, so that's the only thing that I sometimes get annoyed about. Cause, like, wait, like, because we get Chris is in the line being like, they're all mean girls and this and that. Like, well, it's because the fun stuff gets cut. Like, control that edit, you know? And it does scare me, honestly, like, putting my life out there. And so I bought, like, got a little more cautious about, like, what I share on social media now because my life is getting, like, more public. Right. And I do actually value privacy. Like, I'm someone who, like, in Utah, dumb comparison. But, like, these houses don't come with fences. You have to, like, pay for your own fences. Like, it's not part of the house. And then, like, no one has hedges. It's like you just like. Like, hey, neighbor. And I. Being in California, I hate that. Like, I do not want to see my neighbors. Not to be weird. They're great. But, like, I love privacy, like, in my own home, too. And, like. And it's becoming more like that in my life now that it's more public. And so I feel like it's. Yeah, it's like a hard balance. Like, for the most part, I think that's what works for me is just being myself. And I also. My parents watch the show and they're like, well, I thought the reason why people like you is because, like, you just yourself, like, that's who you are. Like, how to describe you is, like, how you are on the show. Like, obviously there are moments that, like, yeah, maybe are edited, like, a different context. There's, like, a couple here and there. But, like, for the most part, I feel like it's pretty true to, like, who I am. Yeah, that could change my perception, could change season to season. You never know what's gonna happen. But, yeah, for the most part, yeah. Yeah. I am not too worried about it now. In the beginning, I was. And now it's a little more chill. I'm glad.

Sophia (32:00)

I'm glad that it feels easier.

Macy Neely (32:02)

Yeah.

Sophia (32:03)

You know, you mentioned social media, and I think that's. I think it's all really related because only a fraction of you is going to get shown to an audience on tv, and we show such a fraction of our lives on social media. And let's be real, most people are sharing the great moments, you know, they're not sharing, like, the worst day or when things are insane at home or, you know, whatever you've talked about, you know, how. How social media is obviously a part of your life with the show, but I thought it was really. I just thought it was really special that in the book, you admit that there's. There's been. There at least was a time when you were concealing a lot of pain and struggling with depression behind this Instagram that looked so positive. How have you. Do you think that the show has helped you navigate showing up with a little more of the hard stuff publicly? Or did you have to learn to exercise that muscle even to prepare to be on the show in the first place?

Macy Neely (33:08)

Yeah, I think it was the lather of the two. I just. That's kind of how I built my platform before I joined Mom Talk, before The show was based off of telling parts of my story because I never saw it before. I was like, everyone online is so perfect. They're these perfect families. And, like, the cute house and the dog. It's, like, perfect. And I just felt like this, like, loser, and I was like this. And I, like. I know that, like, I. Like, it can't be like this for everyone, but I was going through it. That's how I felt. And so once I kind of started, like, I'm like, once. That's a little bit half year and, like, started talking about my life online, I was like, no, I want to share the bad stuff, because I know that other people go through it, too. And that's kind of how I actually built my whole platform to, like, join Mom Talk was through sharing, like, my story and, like, the very low lows and obviously, like, the highs and stuff. And I. I feel like I'm someone who tries not to show a polished life because, like, it's not real. And, like, so I tried to show that, like, even by accident. Like, I think it was right before I gave birth. I. Like, my whole house was upside down because we decided we were gonna redo all the flooring, like, a week before I gave birth. Don't ask me why. And, like, so, like, you were nesting.

Sophia (34:10)

It's okay.

Macy Neely (34:10)

Like, literally so my whole couch, like, everything was kind of, like, all piled up. Like, you should have seen how, like, you couldn't even walk. It was that messy. And I think I took a story of my cat, like, sitting in the middle of it, but I honestly didn't realize it was that messy because I was just living in it. And people are like, thank you so much for showing this.

Sophia (34:24)

And I was like, yes.

Macy Neely (34:25)

I didn't even, like, realize, like, that was a big deal. Like, the amount of DMs I got that were, like, so positive. Like, thank you for showing this, because, like, people don't show this, and we just feel like we're, like, bad moms because our house isn't perfect. And I'm like, no. Like, so was gonna be sad. And, like, people, like, think, like.

Sophia (34:41)

Like, no, you're doing great.

Macy Neely (34:42)

Yeah, exactly. We're all trying our best. And so, yeah, do you try to show those authentic moments? But. But there are times where the show did help, I guess. Like, in season two, I went to my son's father's crash site where he died. And, like, that.

Sophia (34:55)

Yeah, I.

Macy Neely (34:57)

Like, I never had been before. Right. And so I didn't want to go, but, like, part of Me knew I needed to at some point, like, to help me heal and, like, face my trauma, to, like, to even write the book. And I will say that that was a moment where, like, yeah, the show did help with that, because it's like I had that extra push of them being like, hey, like, producers feel like this would be so impactful for your audience to see and to help people who are going through similar things get through this too. And I was like, oh, like, you're right. Like, that was, like, the hardest thing to have to do. Like, especially on camera. Like, and I'm someone who, like, does not like crying on camera. Like, I don't know. Like, it's hard, it's vulnerable. Like, I don't know.

Sophia (35:32)

It's also a really interesting thing. I mean, what you point out so often, especially because of the way things are in our world today. Social media, all of it. When you're going through something, especially as a public person, you go through it privately until the last moment.

Macy Neely (35:48)

Yeah.

Sophia (35:49)

And you share when you, like, have something to share, when you have thoughts, like, whatever. And it's. It's a pretty wild thing to process in real time with strangers.

Macy Neely (36:04)

Yeah.

Sophia (36:06)

But I also think, you know, it can lead to. It can lead to bravery, it can lead to vulnerability in a way, and. And it can really help people.

Macy Neely (36:20)

Yeah.

Sophia (36:20)

You know, when you tell your story, it's like, I built this sort of picture perfect life for myself and then it wasn't.

Macy Neely (36:27)

Yeah.

Sophia (36:27)

And it was really hard to have to go through that publicly. But when I was able to reflect on it and share about it and write about it and publish a piece about it, like, the number of people who said, thank you so much for.

Macy Neely (36:40)

Yeah.

Sophia (36:41)

Sharing this like, that. I feel this. I have felt this. I've been too scared to say. I made what I thought was the right decision and it was the wrong one for me, and I didn't want to go through that publicly. Like, I was going through it privately in my little cocoon, like, walking around pretending things were fine, like, like everybody does, wearing the wedding ring through, like, all the nightmare of what's going on behind the scenes. I was so scared for that little cocoon to break.

Macy Neely (37:08)

Yeah.

Sophia (37:09)

You know, I was so scared for everyone to know. But weirdly, when everyone knew, it made it bit easier.

Macy Neely (37:14)

Easier. Yeah, because it's almost like a weight is, like, lifted off your shoulders or something. Like, knowing that it's impacting other people and helping other people because you don't want them to feel how you did it. Like, it's. Yeah, it just, yeah, it's a lot. Like, I feel like it makes it make sense because sometimes when you go through this, these horrible things, you're like, why? Like, I don't get, like, why, you know? And so sometimes when I look at the bigger picture and the purpose, I'm like, well, maybe this is why this had to happen to me now that it makes it okay. But then I can help so many more people if I had to go through this one. These things, maybe this, me taking this sacrifice can help so many people to prevent it from even happening to them to begin with. I don't know. Like, I don't know. Like, I just try to make sense of it sometimes and like, I think maybe I had to go through it to help other people. I don't know.

Sophia (37:57)

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Sophia (41:26)

When you reflect on that now, especially, you know, just having visited the site on the, on the last season of the show, you, you mentioned earlier, you know, we were talking about getting out of something abusive, how hard that is.

Macy Neely (41:40)

Yeah.

Sophia (41:40)

And. And then you met your son's father, you said, really soon after.

Macy Neely (41:45)

Yeah.

Sophia (41:45)

And things were just starting to get serious and you got pregnant. And you know, there, there are those sorts of things you're not planning, but they feel like probably were pretty exciting when they set in and then this car crash happens. Like, how did you. That is so much to process. The emotional whiplash of all of those things happening in the same year. Yeah. How did you deal with that?

Macy Neely (42:14)

I just, honestly, I don't even know if I really did deal with it. I just like had to survive. Like, I literally just had to wake up in the morning because that's how like, severely depressed I was, especially being pregnant. Like, it was hard to like, want to do anything. Like, and I. So I had to really, like, I'm really grateful for my parents because, like, my mom was the one who's like, she'd come in my room and I thought. Obviously thought she was, like, so annoying. Like, I'm, like, young, and she's, like, opening my shutters, like, good morning. Like, we're gonna go do that. Like, she was very good at, like, getting me out of the house and, like, distracting me.

Sophia (42:44)

Breathe fresh air.

Macy Neely (42:45)

Yes, exactly. Like, making grass, basically. So, like, I feel like I'm very grateful for my parents because I'm like. I don't know. Like, and then obviously, like, my son, like, that's what kept me going, and that's how my book is dedicated to him, is. Because I'm like, he, like, saved me. Like, I don't know if I would be here, like, if it wasn't for him. And then also, just, like, the way he changed my life. Like, Like, I went from, you know, kind of just, like, coasting in life, like, to, like, I. Obviously, now I'm a mom. Like, I had to. Knew I had to be a provider. Like, I needed to really focus. And I feel like it helped my motivation, my drive. Like, I became a better person, a lot more empathetic and understanding of other people's struggles. And, like, he changed my life, like, for the better. I can't even. I don't even know who I'd be if. If that didn't happen. Honestly, it's crazy.

Sophia (43:30)

That's so special.

Macy Neely (43:31)

Yeah.

Sophia (43:32)

Is it. Is it sort of surreal to look back now because clearly, such a hard time, but your son was such a gift, and you've just had another baby and you are remarried. You know how I know that? It's a really specific experience that you wouldn't. You wouldn't wish on another person, but it is profoundly capable of growing your heart.

Macy Neely (44:04)

Yes.

Sophia (44:04)

To lose someone that you love and then have to figure out how to. How to grieve and hold space for that person and make space for a new person.

Macy Neely (44:17)

Yeah. And.

Sophia (44:19)

And integrate those experiences for yourself and for your new person. Yeah. So what was it like meeting Jacob? You know, what do you think had really made you equipped for something that, I mean, at least from the outside seems so lovely and healthy and.

Macy Neely (44:38)

Yeah.

Sophia (44:38)

How did you let yourself lean into this kind of love?

Macy Neely (44:42)

I think, and I feel like I said this before, but it's like. And this is a thing that people say all the time, but it's like, you accept the love that you feel like you deserve. Right. And so I feel like, for me, he was coming around in the beginning, and I kind of just kept pushing him off after a while because I was like, ah. Like, I don't know, like he likes me too much. It goes like, almost like he was too much of a green flag. He's too good. And it feels weird to me, like, to have that kind of love. And so I pushed him off and pushed him off until I was like, he like, is by far the best person I've dated. Like, he cares so much for me, cares for my child. And I think like, I had to really, like, learn how to love myself to accept his love too. You know, like, you have to, to be able to love yourself and feel like you deserve that. So I was like, maybe I was pushing off so much because I didn't feel like I fully deserved it. And I also feel like I. I mean, I also like, wanted to date. Like I had boyfriend after boyfriend, like during that time. And so I was like, I wanted to like, know for sure what I wanted, you know, like, you kind of have to make sure I want to make any mistakes again. Like, I was like, I want to have the one and that is the one I'm going to be with and I don't want it to like, change.

Sophia (45:41)

Yeah.

Macy Neely (45:42)

And so I was also like, cautious. But yeah, again, I think I had to learn how to love myself. I don't think when I met him I was heels by any means, you know, because I needed, had some work to do. And I talk about in the book about, it was like we were engaged and I was like kind of having mental breakdowns and like, what's happening? It's because the trauma's still like hitting me years later because I rushed it under the rug thinking, like, oh, like, it's been a couple years, like it's gone. I'm like. And it definitely just doesn't go away. So like went to therapy and that definitely helped and stuff and like, pointed me in the right direction. But like, he, like, even now, like, he's just like my rock, like my biggest supporter. Like, obviously next. My parents are always like my number one fans. But like, my husband is like, he makes everything go round in this world for me. Like, I don't think I could pursue this career and all these things without his support because it's like having the kids and like all the things, like the to do list is like this long. So it's like he helps everything work right. And he's just like so supportive and always has been. And I just, I couldn't be more grateful like, that it all worked out, you know?

Sophia (46:43)

Yeah, I love that. I think, I think when the right love finds you, especially when you've had all sorts of versions of the wrong one, like, yeah, it doesn't just give you love. It really does heal you.

Macy Neely (46:56)

Yeah, no, it does, for sure. And I. I think that's what happened. It was like, I don't be. Like, I didn't need therapy because obviously I did and I still do, but, like, I think we all do. Yeah, I know. I'm like, this world we live in. But, like, I think when you have, like, someone just, like, love and, like, I also feel, like, positive energy. Like, I. Like, I'm a true believer in, like, those who you surround yourself with is like, how you're going to be, like, you need that positive energy. Like, I. Yeah, like, I feel like, again, like, even going through what I went through, like, if you didn't have, like, the positive energy, you're being like, it will get better. Like, just hold on, you know? You know, like, yeah, like, you have to stay positive or else it's like, it just. The life will just drain out of you. And I think that's like, he's always just been a happy, go, lucky, like, guy. And, like, that's like, kind of what I needed.

Sophia (47:39)

So. Nice.

Macy Neely (47:40)

You need a balance, you know?

Sophia (47:42)

Yeah. Do you think that desire to focus on the positive, even when it's hard, was a motivator to share your IVF journey? Because IVF is so hard. It's the hardest, most awful thing. And I feel like only in the last, like, two or three years does anyone even really want to talk about it out in the world.

Macy Neely (48:05)

Yeah, I think it, like, I feel like people don't want to talk about it harshly, too, because it's very vulnerable. And it's, like, hard to be like, oh, like, I'm doing this, like, to have a kid. And then you get criticism because even when I was doing it, I get people being like, well, why don't you adopt? And I'm like, okay, hello. I'm telling you, like, doing this. And now you're saying, like, do that. And I'm like, and I don't think people realize, too, it is hard to adopt kids. Like, it's not easy. Like, and it's very expensive. And people don't realize that. They think it's like, oh, I can just go to the store and adopt a kid. That's not how it works. And, like, people are just kind of uneducated on all, like, the whole process. Right. And so, I mean, I think it's hard to share, but I, again, like, I built my platform off of sharing things that are uncomfortable and, like, hard because I know that they can help other people. And, like. And I think it is because when you're going through ivf, it's lonely, too. Like, it really is. It's hard because it's like, I didn't realize how much of a mental battle it would be. I thought it'd be a physical battle. I was like, it's gonna be so painful. And I'm like, the pain. The physical pain I feel like, compared to the mental pain is, like, very different. Like, the hormones, right? Like, the hormones make you ch. Like, you're moody. You don't feel good. Like, you're nauseous. Like, it's even going through. My last. Because I did the IVF process, like, the first half, gave the eggs and stuff a couple years, like, two and a half years ago. And, like, because it took such a mental toll on me, I was like, I'm not transferring this embryo until I'm, like, mentally okay. And that took a while. Like, that's why my Have a pretty big age gap again. And because I needed time. And even during that process, like, doing the hormones to do the transfer, like, I was doing it while filming, and I was like. I was having. Having migraines from this one medication I was on. I think it was, like, Lupron. I was put on for five days. I was like, my head is killing me. I don't think I've ever had a headache this bad in my entire life. And, like, it's just kind of like, oh, whatever. Like, that's just the process.

Sophia (49:46)

Like, people are like, deal with it.

Macy Neely (49:48)

Yeah. And I feel like it's not even. Like, if it was men going through it, they'd be like, oh, my gosh. Let's, like, put you in a coma for this. It, like, makes me. Okay. It makes me so mad. Like, sometimes I love my husband, but I'm like, what do we have men for? Like, I genuinely sometimes, like, don't understand. I'm like, because we have babies, like, we do all this. I'm like, you guys don't. You don't have periods. You don't have. Like, you don't think, like, anything.

Sophia (50:11)

They don't have to do anything.

Macy Neely (50:13)

It's very. I'm very salty about it, actually.

Sophia (50:16)

I think you can't have been through that process and not be a little salty about it. Especially because the medical double standard, like, they don't include us in research. They don't care about women's pain. They don't take women's pain seriously. And then like, you know, know, suddenly these ding dongs who don't even have medical degrees are telling pregnant women not to take Tylenol. And I'm like, guess what? Tylenol is not dangerous. But a fever could kill your baby. No, literally, please stop telling women to tough it out. You could literally never.

Macy Neely (50:47)

And it's horrible too because then it's like, they say stuff like that and then you feel guilt. It's like, wait, I did Tylenol. Like, like, I'm sorry, I took Tylenol my first pregnancy almost every night. And like sum. I took Tylenol PM because I couldn't sleep. So like I.

Sophia (51:00)

And by the way, that's okay.

Macy Neely (51:02)

And my son's fine, so I'm like.

Sophia (51:03)

Your son is perfect. Like, everybody needs to take a breath and just like leave women. Not only leave women alone, like actually offer women a little bit of support.

Macy Neely (51:11)

Yeah, no, exactly. It's honestly so crazy to me like that. Yeah. It just bugs me. Like, where is the male birth control too? Like, please be for real right now.

Sophia (51:19)

Oh, they couldn't take it cuz it made them nauseous.

Macy Neely (51:21)

Yeah, there was a study, right? And they're like, it made them. Yes. I'm like, oh, I feel so bad. Like, are you kidding? Like, yeah, I mean, I could talk about this all day. I cannot handle it. Like, it makes me so salty. Like even being pregnant out of like marriage, right? And like getting pregnant, going home, it's like no one's looking at the man being like, oh my gosh. Like, oh, never bad. It's like they just get off scot free. And I'm over here and you're looking at you like, oh, like what a, what a ho. Like she's pregnant. Like, you know, like you're like, I.

Sophia (51:49)

Didn'T do this to myself.

Macy Neely (51:50)

Exactly. It's like the double standard there that's like kills me. It's like the hypocrisy like I just can't handle.

Sophia (51:55)

I'm also like, if anyone deserves the judgment, it's them. You're literally making a human. You should be being worshiped. Fully inverted. It's so crazy.

Macy Neely (52:05)

I'm like, we can't get ourselves pregnant over here. Like, hello, hello.

Sophia (52:10)

I love it. See, this is why the people are like, she is America's sweetheart.

Macy Neely (52:14)

I'm like, yes, I'm trying.

Sophia (52:17)

No, it's so good though. I think think it's like such a sweet thing to see in the, you know, in the overarching feedback of the show.

Macy Neely (52:23)

Yeah.

Sophia (52:24)

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High Key Podcast Host (55:05)

Listen to High Key, a new weekly podcast. You better listen. That's literally the definition of being an Aries moon. Just one little spicy off comment. That's all it takes. Everyone loves me at the Cancer. And then the Aries comes out and they said, who the is that? Now you're gonna come for me being an Aries and you have a Sag moon? Get out of here. But I'm a Capricorn rising, so that honestly balances it out and makes me more likable. Okay, that is your Capricorn talking. Listen to High key on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Sophia (55:48)

Obviously, the negative feedback on social media is really hard. It's the worst. I mean, the Internet is successful. Everyone just wants to be mean all the time. But does the. Does the really positive stuff ever make you nervous? Because you're like, oh, is that gonna. Is that gonna make the mean people meaner? How? Like, how do you kind of cope with viewer opinions, whether they're good or bad?

Macy Neely (56:10)

I feel like if it's really good, sometimes I'm worried. Cause I'm like, oh, they have this certain expectation now for me, and if I have a bad moment, are they, like, why? You weren't who I thought thought you were. So I feel like that sometimes worries me a little bit because, like, yeah, I have, like, obviously the reputation of being very kind and all these things, and, like, that's. That is who I am. But that doesn't mean that we don't have, like, moments.

Sophia (56:29)

Also human, though.

Macy Neely (56:30)

Yeah, exactly. And it's like, I think it's because in season three, I'm, like, a little worried because I was pregnant. So, like, I was, like, for sure, a little bitchy. Okay? Like, give me a break. And like, episode one, I, like, definitely was. I was, like, pissed at Leila. And I like. Like, I wasn't like, that mean. But, like, there was definitely some. Looks like, whoa, that's like, a little off brand for her. But I'm like, I had a moment, okay? So sometimes I'm like, oh, they get to watch that and be like, oh, like, she was hiding behind that. You know, I just like, we're like that. But at the same time, like, I don't care because, like, you can think what you want. Like, I am who I am. So sometimes I go back and forth that I'm being like, wait, are they gonna think I'm like, me? Because I'm not mean like, you know, so. But overall, like negative comments don't really affect me a ton. Like I think if it's like, it's just like not accurate at all, then I'm like, that's wrong. But like, yeah, there's been so many times where I start writing your response and I have it and then I like, I almost feels good to like write it out even if you don't send it. So you write it and then I'll like backspace. I'm like, okay, it's fine.

Sophia (57:22)

I do it all the time. I'm like, this is everything I want to say. And then I have to remember that this is not worth my time. But I got, I got to get it out. Otherwise it's in.

Macy Neely (57:30)

Yeah. So it's nice to do that sometimes. And my husband's like, don't like if I ever like complain about. He's like, don't worry about it. Like don't respond to them. Like he always gets like mad. I get heated is like, don't worry about who cares? And I'm like, okay, easy for you.

Sophia (57:42)

To say cuz you're like, well it's not you that it's incoming at.

Macy Neely (57:45)

Yeah, exactly. But I think it's honestly good. Like he's honestly the greatest. We've balanced each other out so much. Right. Like, I think he's made me a more understanding and kind person as well. So I'm grateful for him because I have those moments of weakness from like, no, I want to say this and you're not going to stop me. And then he's like, look at the bigger picture here.

Sophia (58:03)

He's like, maybe stop yourself.

Macy Neely (58:05)

Exactly. So I feel like I've been pretty good at like not letting it get to me. But yeah, the backspace trick works great for me. Just like writing it out. I'm like, and then you. And they're like, just, I love it. It's great.

Sophia (58:17)

What aside from, you know, the, the shenan's of pregnancy? What, what can we expect from next season? I'm like, what do. What does everyone have in store?

Macy Neely (58:29)

I would say I'm definitely, at least for me, I'm a little bitchier for sure because you know, pregnancy hormones be raging. You probably will see me stuffing my face all season as well. But good for you.

Sophia (58:39)

You deserve.

Macy Neely (58:39)

That's like the light hearted part of it, I would say. I will say there's more moments where they do keep the. Some of them are like funny stuff in it that they normally like. I feel like there is More some light hearted moments and I think that it needs that because there's a lot of heavy topics in it as well. So it's like there's heavy topics like Michaela talks about her story, which is really impactful. So like hearing that was really awesome because my great. Like we're leaving in the stuff that like matters, you know, it's not just like the drama, it's like the real stuff, you know, I love that. And then obviously you're here about Jesse. Like it's left in a cliffhanger. So everyone's gonna get answers to exactly what happened. Like, and I mean like you will get exactly what happened. Like everything good. Nurse people when the show first started, they're like, they didn't even like talk all about the swing drama. Like they tease it too much and tell it like, whatever this. You're gonna get all that and more.

Sophia (59:26)

Oh my goodness.

Macy Neely (59:27)

And I think there is a lot of like iPhone footage in certain parts. And like that's how you know, it's like real because like producers weren't even there and sometimes is going down. And so you had to. You have random people filming on iPhones who maybe were there. So it's like you have moments like that that like, that are. Sometimes I'm like, can't believe that's happening. And like, there's been a couple times even with this, this last season where I was telling my husband, like I went home at night and I was like, I don't know if I'm cut out for this. Like, I don't know, you know, because like, I'm not. I have opinions. Hands, right. But like, sometimes I'm like, keep the peace. It's worth keeping the piece for my own personal gain to just be peaceful. But there's times where the girls are like, shut the f up to each other like piss. And I'm like, whoa, whoa. Like, this is, this is like a little bit much, you know?

Sophia (60:12)

Yeah.

Macy Neely (60:12)

And that sometimes there's those moments where I'm like, oh, I don't know, like, am I made for this world there? Like just in the sense of like, oh, it just makes me feel sad inside. You know sometimes when like it's just like the hostility, like it's not fun anymore. If it was like us yelling at the men or the men yelling at each other, I'm like, yeah, get the popcorn, let's go. You know, like our friend group. I'm like, oh, I don't know. I don't like this. It's like you're like, guys, this is.

Sophia (60:36)

Actually sort of hard for me emotionally.

Macy Neely (60:39)

Yeah. I'm like, wait, this is sad. But then, like, again, luckily, like, it's not directly involving me. So again, if I couldn't sleep at night, that'd be different story. But I'm like, I'm good. So, like, as long as that that is working out for me, then, like, I'm okay because I don't want to, like, go to bed and feel, like, anxious or, like, you know, I don't want to have that feeling, you know? And I luckily, like, right now, I don't. And I. Yeah, I did a little bit sharing my story on the last season just because I'm like, it is very vulnerable and scary. You know, it's like, just stuff that you don't want to do or you want to avoid. But again, I knew it was more impactful to share it. So, yeah, those are those moments that are hard. I'm like, I did it, but that's out of the way. I'm not doing that again again. And I watched the season. I'm like, I watched it once m and I will not be watching that again. It's just too much. It's heavy for me. You know, it's like reliving it all over again, especially seeing it, you know, so totally. But this season, I feel like, at least in my opinion, because I have seen it, is probably my favorite one so far. But who knows? Like, I could have it every season and I just wouldn't know. But I feel like so far, it has been my favorite one to watch.

Sophia (61:41)

You want that to be the goal. Every year you do it, you want to like it more. It's interesting to see how across the group of your castmates, people are branching out into all these other spaces. You've written your book. Jen and Whitney are going on Dancing with the Stars. Taylor's gonna be the new Bachelorette. How does that feel? What are your expectations for the things they're going out to do? Are you excited for them? Yes.

Macy Neely (62:05)

Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited. I feel like we went to Dancing with the Stars opening night, and I literally had tears. I was like, I just feel like a prep proud mother. Like, it's the weirdest thing. Like, seeing your friends, like, accomplish their goals and their dreams is just, like, not only so powerful but, like, impactful. It's just, like, so special. And, like, I'm obviously so excited to watch Bachelorette. I am a little worried for Taylor just because I'm like, let's pick A.

Sophia (62:28)

Good one scares me.

Macy Neely (62:29)

Yeah. Like, bring me on to help you out, because we aren't the best at catching the red flag, so let me help you out there. I think she's probably learned from her experiences, though, and she's obviously better now than she was in the past.

Sophia (62:40)

It.

Macy Neely (62:40)

You know, snipping out the bad ones. But no, it's honestly just so crazy to see. And it still blows my mind, though, that, like, the show has been this successful because I'm like. Like, when it's your normal life that's just what you're living, it doesn't seem, you know, any different. Like, how is this, like, entertaining? You know? Like, I think it. We're all shocked at how well it's done. Like, how many opportunities we're getting from it. Like, it's actually crazy. Like, it's. The show has been out for, like. Like, one year, and, like, now we have Dancing with the Stars, Bachelorette. Like, I've written a book. Like, it's just crazy, you know, it's incredible. Yeah. Very grateful.

Sophia (63:13)

It's obviously so much to reflect on, and you've done so much. And I'm not going to be the person who asks you what's next, by any means, because you're in the middle of what is now.

Macy Neely (63:20)

Yeah.

Sophia (63:21)

But when you look sort of at the landscape of where you've been and you know, how good things feel. What. What in your life, whether it's a personal goal or a professional goal, like, what feels like your big work in progress, I think it's kind of discovering.

Macy Neely (63:39)

Like, what I want to do, you know? Like, I think I. If you asked me, like, five years ago and said I was gonna be on a reality show, I would have thought you were lying. Like, I never in my life have, like, wanted to do reality tv.

Sophia (63:49)

Yeah.

Macy Neely (63:50)

It kind of just so happened that way. So I think it's just, like, for me, like, kind of discovering more of, like, what Macy wants and who she wants to be. Like, what are my passions, like, now. Now, you know, because I think, yeah, when you become a mom, you sometimes lose yourself in motherhood a bit. And so, like, for me, it's like the passions were tennis, right? And then once that's over, it's like, what now? And I feel like you. A lot of athletes go through, like, identity crisis when they're done with their sport, because it's like, well, what do I do now? Like, what do I have to look forward to? How do I feel? That feeling of, like, winning, you know, and, like, succeeding and that's one thing I. That's why I do have a lot of drive. It comes from the, the athlete side, where it's like, I need to constantly be like, winning or having like, wins in my life. Right. And so I think it's like, I just want to kind of discover, like, what I'm passionate about, like in like, a new project that I want to do or a new business, like, things like that. But also, like, I want to just chill out too and like, be a mom and like, enjoy it and like, soak it in and not just be like, working on my phone while I'm with my kids. And I've been a lot better at that in the last year because in the past it's like, well, I have to work and I have to do these things. And like, I feel like now I've been very good at prioritizing. Like, like, no, I'm not filming because I have my son's baseball game and I'm not missing it. I'm sorry. Like, it's just not happening. Like, I've been very good about that and, like, good for you. You know, they've asked to film stuff like that, like the baseball games, my kids. And I'm like, no. Like, I. I'm trying to get my kids out of it and I want to just have that right. And have that. Like, I want my kids to have a normal childhood too. You know, I don't want them to be like, oh, my mom was like, working all the time, you know, So I. I feel like I'm very cautious about that. So I think I'm just navigating it at all. So, like, Like, I think she's gonna be work in progress is what it's gonna be.

Sophia (65:21)

I love it. I love it.

Macy Neely (65:23)

I. I get it.

Sophia (65:23)

I think if you're not careful about your time, all your time goes to work. Kids things, admin.

Macy Neely (65:32)

Yeah.

Sophia (65:33)

And. And then the work keeps encroaching and I don't know, I think it's really important just to block time for you, time for your family. Like, it's just as worthy as anything. And I think, at least for me, I feel like the balance of it all is constantly an in progress thing as well. But I can feel when I'm getting it more right. Because I feel lighter.

Macy Neely (66:00)

Yeah.

Sophia (66:01)

And that's a nice feeling.

Macy Neely (66:02)

Yeah. I just want to feel like that relaxed feeling where it's like, yes, this is what. Because I have a baby and I'm like, this is like, I truly. This is what I was made for. I have my daughter and I'm like, I just want to be a mom. And I have those, like, moments, you know? But I want the career I want, you know, you always want it all. So, like, I think I just want to learn how to balance that and just pursue things that I'm also passionate out, like, outside of, like the show and like motherhood, you know, Just like for me, you know. So, yeah, I'm still working on it. I guess we'll find out.

Sophia (66:30)

I love that for you. Well, congratulations on everything. The book is beautiful.

Macy Neely (66:35)

Thank you so much.

Sophia (66:36)

I can't wait to see how it all goes this year.

Macy Neely (66:39)

Thank you.

Ryan Seacrest (66:56)

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High Key Podcast Host (66:58)

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High Key Podcast Host (68:57)

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Macy Neely (69:01)

Dad, the cousins in Mexico have a surprise for the you.

Ryan Seacrest (69:07)

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High Key Podcast Host (69:13)

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Ryan Seacrest (69:15)

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High Key Podcast Host (69:24)

See details@t mobile.com this is an iHeart podcast.