Podcast Summary: Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Episode: Mayci Neeley (October 15, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Sophia Bush welcomes reality TV star and memoirist Mayci Neeley, best known for her role on Hulu’s "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." The conversation delves deeply into Mayci's journey—her challenging young adulthood shaped by a conservative upbringing, competitive sports, a destructive relationship, early motherhood, trauma, resilience, and finding her public and private voice through reality TV and her new memoir, Told You So. The episode is a candid exploration of growth, self-compassion, and the messy process of becoming.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Revisiting the Inner Child & Early Ambitions

• Mayci reflects on her “shy, sensitive” childhood and how surprising it is, in hindsight, that she now lives in the public eye.
• She talks about overcoming the belief that sensitivity is weakness:
  “I used to think that being soft or sensitive was a weakness, but it's really not…it’s a strength for good kind of thing.” (06:31)

Navigating Anxiety and Life in the Public Eye

• Both Sophia and Mayci discuss nervousness before public appearances, normalizing vulnerability even for seasoned public figures.
  • Sophia shares: “I am nervous for every event. I am nervous every time I have to do a red carpet. Every time I have to do an interview. Like, that doesn't go away.” (08:14)

Variety Shows & Social Media Humor

• Mayci describes her Vegas “Mom Talk” variety show, blending confessions, games, and fun segments—a live extension of her online “Sinner Sunday” confessions page. (09:26–10:26)

Strict Upbringing, Athleticism & Upended Expectations

• Mayci discusses her upbringing in a strict Mormon household, earning a tennis scholarship to BYU, and her childhood assumption she would become a stay-at-home mom or pro athlete—never imagining reality TV or authorship.
  “My life goal growing up was…I’m gonna meet the husband, have the kids…being a pro tennis player or maybe a sports broadcaster—that was about as far as I’d go with career plans.” (10:59)

The Abuse That Changed Everything

• Mayci reveals details of her abusive high school/college relationship, including being blackmailed because she violated BYU's honor code.

  • “I was going through an abusive relationship that was very toxic…I didn’t feel like I could get out until he physically left the state.” (12:16–12:52)
  • On being blackmailed: “He kept blackmailing me…‘I have pictures of you drinking…I'm gonna send it to them and they're gonna kick you out.’” (12:56)

• Discovering Abuse: Mayci’s “aha moment” came from Googling signs of abuse, and realizing nearly every box was checked.

  • “I didn’t even know I was being abused…seeing it there, I’m like, okay, I’m not crazy. This is really happening.” (15:17)

Processing Trauma & Rebuilding

• The “prison” of a manipulative relationship, and the slow recovery after it ended.

• Meeting her son's father signaled a return to normalcy and rediscovering joy:
  “I felt like a captive…once [my ex] left, I started going out with friends. I’m like, wait, this is so fun.” (20:47–21:46)

• Sophia draws the parallel between toxic relationships and a snowball effect—it ramps up gradually, so you barely realize how bad it’s become until you’re overwhelmed.

  • Sophia: “By the time you can’t ignore it anymore and you feel like a prisoner…you can’t even fathom how it got that bad.” (24:14)

Memoir Writing as Catharsis

• Mayci’s book, Told You So, took a decade to write—a slow “snowball” accumulating lessons and self-insight.
  • “It took ten years for you to get there…your story is so much larger than that [one event].” (25:22)

Athlete Mentality: Strengths & Pitfalls

• How “coachability” and performance habits from her tennis past foster both discipline and, at times, susceptibility to control.
  • Sophia: “When you are a performance athlete…it’s a gift, but also can really make you lose yourself. You can be so good at performing that you forget to check in with how you actually feel.” (28:02–28:52)

Reality TV, Privacy & Authenticity

• Mayci discusses reality TV as both empowering and anxiety-inducing—at first, she was nervous about editing and portrayal, but eased into authenticity after season one.
  • “In the beginning, I was [afraid], now it’s a little more chill…for the most part, I feel like it’s pretty true to who I am.” (30:04–32:00)

Navigating Social Media & Depression

• Mayci intentionally shares authentic, “messy” moments to counter the Instagram perfection trap—and receives overwhelming gratitude for it.
  • “People are like, thank you so much for showing this…we just feel like we’re bad moms because our house isn’t perfect. And I’m like, no.” (34:24)

Healing From Loss, Motherhood, and New Beginnings

• The emotional aftermath of her son’s father’s death during her pregnancy:
  “I don’t even know if I really did deal with it. I just had to survive. Literally just had to wake up in the morning, because that’s how severely depressed I was…” (42:14)

  • Her mother’s tough love and her son became lifelines: “My son…kept me going…he changed my life for the better.” (43:30)

• Meeting her (now) husband Jacob: Mayci needed to do self-work to open up to true, healthy love after enduring trauma.

  • “You accept the love that you feel like you deserve…I think I had to really, like, learn how to love myself to accept his love too.” (44:42–45:41)

IVF, Vulnerability, and Medical Double Standards

• Mayci's IVF journey was far more mentally taxing than anticipated. She emphasizes:
  • “I thought it’d be a physical battle…I didn’t realize how much of a mental battle it would be.” (48:05–49:46)
• The ongoing frustration with societal and medical double standards for women is explored with humor and righteous anger.

Coping With Public Opinion

• The pressure of positive comments is sometimes as anxiety-inducing as negative ones:
  • “Sometimes I'm worried...if I have a bad moment, are they like, why? You weren't who I thought you were.” (56:10)
• Her technique for dealing with trolls: write out the response, then backspace instead of sending it.

What’s Next? Ongoing Work in Progress

• Mayci’s biggest “work in progress” is discovering her passions and balancing career and motherhood, post-athletics and into her evolving public life.
• She’s proud of setting boundaries—protecting her kids’ privacy and prioritizing family time:
  “I've been very good at prioritizing…I'm not filming because I have my son's baseball game and I'm not missing it.” (65:21)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Sensitivity:

  • “I used to think that being soft or sensitive was a weakness, but it's really not…it’s a strength for good kind of thing, you know?”
    • Mayci Neeley [06:31]

• On Survivorship:

  • “I just had to survive…I literally just had to wake up in the morning, because that’s how severely depressed I was, especially being pregnant.”
    • Mayci Neeley [42:14]

• On Authenticity:

  • “Everyone online is so perfect…And I just felt like this, like, loser…So I started talking about my life online…I want to share the bad stuff, because I know other people go through it too.”
    • Mayci Neeley [33:08]

• On Relationships:

  • “You accept the love that you feel like you deserve…And I feel like, for me, he was coming around in the beginning, and I kind of just kept pushing him off after a while because I was like…he likes me too much…he was too much of a green flag.”
    • Mayci Neeley [44:42]

• On Women’s Health Double Standards:

  • “If it was men going through [IVF], they’d be like, oh my gosh, let’s, like, put you in a coma for this.”
    • Mayci Neeley [49:48]

• On Bouncing Back From Public Scrutiny:

  • “Negative comments don't really affect me a ton…There’s been so many times where I start writing your response…then I like, almost feels good to write it out even if you don't send it…then I'll like backspace, I'm like, ‘Okay, it's fine.’”
    • Mayci Neeley [56:10–58:05]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Mayci’s Introduction & Sophia’s Admiration – [02:58–06:10]
• Mayci on Childhood Sensitivity & Public Life – [06:11–07:36]
• The Role of Athleticism & Mormon Upbringing – [10:26–11:49]
• Abusive Relationship & BYU Honor Code Blackmail – [12:16–13:30]
• How She Recognized Abuse (Google Checklist) – [15:17–15:57]
• Making Sense of Trauma & Moving Forward – [20:47–22:16]
• The Reality TV Editing Experience – [30:04–32:00]
• Authenticity on Social Media, Breaking Perfection – [33:08–34:42]
• Visiting Her Son’s Father’s Crash Site on Camera – [34:42–35:32]
• IVF and Women’s Health Real Talk – [48:05–52:10]
• Parenting, Privacy, and Prioritizing Family – [65:21–66:02]
• Ending Reflection: “Work in Progress” – [63:21–66:30]

Tone & Style

The episode is deeply empathetic, honest, occasionally irreverent, and always validating of vulnerability. Sophia’s warmth and relatability open Mayci up to frank, raw storytelling that balances humor, darkness, and hope.

For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This conversation offers a rare, unvarnished look at the journey of a young woman navigating trauma, reinvention, fame, and self-acceptance. Mayci Neeley’s story, while rooted in the specifics of Mormon culture and reality television, is universal in its lessons on resilience and the long, ongoing process of learning not to hide our “scars,” but to embrace them as part of what makes us strong.

If you’re looking for candor, relatability, and a refusal to sugarcoat what it means to build a life after loss, trauma, or public scrutiny—this episode is for you.

“I just want to learn how to balance that and pursue things that I’m also passionate about, outside of the show and motherhood…Just like for me, you know. So yeah, I’m still working on it. I guess we’ll find out.”

— Mayci Neeley [66:02]