A (28:35)
The mystery. So, like, I don't. I can't wait for it to come. I'm waiting for it. That's the. A good feeling. And what people want is good feeling. So anyways, I think it's super interesting. All right, so we're doing a teaching segment. What we are talking about, in the spirit of generosity, is active listening. So active listening is an art. I think it's something that takes practice and takes time, and you're better at it some days than other, and you're way better at it with some people than others. So I think active listening is a great way to. Is a great way to be generous, to be honest with you. So what is active listening? By definition? Active listening is intentional listening is intentional listening that aims to understand both the facts and the feelings and that you show the speaker that you understand what they're saying. So I think a lot of times when people get into tough conversations, emotional conversations, heated conversations, conversations that provoke and spark fear, conversations that are triggering or whatever it is, things that are sensitive, it's very easy to shut down and stop listening. And it's very easy to project hostility, resistance, defensiveness, fear, insecurity, outbursts, all that kind of stuff. So the whole thing around active listening is that if you are in a conversation with someone, if you take for example, our conversation we had about the event last week, is giving everyone the floor and being unemotional about what's said. So I think the first piece of it is active listening is being present and being open to all different perspectives, including ones that are diametrically opposed or critical and are potentially critical of you. Right. So putting your device away, not multitasking, not being half present. You know, I think active listening is super tough on video and over zoom or on Google Meet. So really making sure that you are there and present in a conversation goes a long way. I think it makes people feel like you are invested in them. You care what they have to say. You are listening. You are. Are thinking about what you are thinking about the subject matter at hand. And a big part of active listening is just feeling that intent, which is that you care. I think the other piece of it is that you want to be. That you want to be not reactive, not defensive, not interrupting, not diminishing, but you want to use phrases and words in active listening that prompt a deeper conversation. So instead of when somebody says something to be like, well, that's not how it happened, or, well, I disagree, or, well, you're wrong to say, well, what do you mean by. And not in a bitchy way, but like, what do you mean by that? Or go tell me more about that. I think one of the things if you talk to therapists or you talk to people in the therapy and mental health space. Like the words go on are big words that are used. That's active listening, right? A therapist's job is to be an active listene or to a person. And you can use that same thing at work. What do you mean by that? Tell me more. Does it always happen that way or does it sometimes that way? The other thing that shows active listening or is it a good aspect of active listening is paraphrasing. So basically to say, hey, what I'm hearing you say is XYZ ABC123, right? I'm hearing you say we have a budget issue, Is that right? And really making sure you're breaking down what someone is saying. A lot of times when people talk, it's really their emotions come out. And so really breaking it down to the big core issues at hand. So I think that's another part of it. The other piece is to label emotions. So when you're an active listener, you are validating or acknowledging how someone feels. So you're saying, wow, that you seem super frustrated or that seems incredibly exciting. Like you're validating the emotion someone is bringing into the conversation. We talked about this with the charisma wheel, which is the more you mirror someone's energy and the more you mirror their body language, the more they feel that they have a kinship with you and that they're being understood. And then I think the other pieces of being an active listener are really making sure to summarize what was discussed, what was decided, what's still open for debate, and then to follow through and play through that conversation the other way. We used this in this meeting. Like, one of the things I was worried about in the meeting we were having is that it was going to be a free for all of, like, this person sucks and that person did this and fuck that and I hate this. And like a bitch fest, like a whining session, which there's nothing that gets under my skin more than just people whining. I hate whining. But for me, anyways, in this conversation is like we had to kind of get both things out. Like, we had to set the stage for which Jessica Rose and I worked on, which I think we did a good job of, of, hey, we're gonna be doing more of these things. How would we do it better? So setting the context of what are we trying to solve for, and let's put our eyes to the future or our focus on someplace positive. And then the second piece of it is giving People to the space to share what they feel went wrong. And also challenging and encouraging people to give suggestions about what can be better. I think the other big thing at work, which is people just show up with problems and they don't show up with solutions, is really, really frustrating. And being an active listener and an active participant in a conversation can help prompt solutions from people who aren't really ready for them or ready with them. So. So being an active listener is, I think, a really good thing to do. I think everybody can get better at it. I think I can get better at it. But I think it's a great way to be generous because you're really being generous with your most important thing, which is attention. And I think being an active listener is really just a way of showing someone you care and you are invested and you have the right intention for them. Strategery. We're doing strategery. Do more with less. I say this every goddamn day. So I'm going to throw no shade on the do more with less strategery word. What does it mean? It means to do more with less. So you got to get the same job done, or you've got to get the same result with fewer people. Do more with less can be very, very offensive at work. It can be very frustrating at work. It can be very. Grading more with less is a very difficult concept. I don't think it's a strategic word. I think it's a call for efficiency and a call for focus and impact. I think everyone can always be more efficient. You know, we had a board session today, and, you know, like, one of the questions I was anticipating was, like, well, why can't you cut costs more? Like, why can't we cut more costs? And I'm like, like, we've cut our staff by like, 32%. I'm not sure we can cut much more now. The reality is, is, yes, of course we can cut costs more. Should they be people costs? I don't know. Could they be operating costs? Probably. But the bigger question is, hey, if we want the same outcome with fewer people, we gotta think about doing stuff differently. If we just want fewer people, that's totally cool. Let's just stop doing this line of business, or let's stop working on this system, or let's stop. Stop serving this customer. I'm talking about this hypothetically, but I think the do more with less is something that we shouldn't be defensive about at work. I think it's very easy to feel criticized, to feel small, to feel punished. But I would also encourage folks to say, no problem, I can do more with less. But here are the trade offs or here's what this means. We can't do this or we gotta do this differently or I've gotta limit the scope of this thing. I think in very few cases you can or not very few. In some cases you can in fact do more with less. If you have a lot of inefficiency, if you have a lot of fat in your system, if you just have a lot of inertia. I was having a conversation with someone today and she was saying how when she worked for the Federal Election Committee or something that they had to tell people to stop going to the movies every day at work. Like in that scenario you can do more with less. In a scenario where you have very little headcount and you're trying to do a lot and you've already made great strides to have and be less, it's very hard to. So do more with less. I think that's a phrase that's here to stay. It's also a phrase here to stay as companies are trying to be profitable in a very topsy turvy economy and in a time where the costs of goods because of tariffs and a whole bunch of other things are very uncertain. That at least and true in our business. So that's it. Thank you for listening. Come back here next week. It's going to be exciting. Sark's on vacation. Sak's on the double. On the double. Double. Well, you're on the double, Devil, so. Well, okay. I'm sure everybody says that Jessica Rose is going to Japan. So we're gonna get a big report from Jessica Rose when we get back. And thank you for listening and join work like a girl. If you want to be part of the slack hive, follow us on Substack. Shop at Schoolhouse. It's beautiful. I think lighting can change a whole room. And Schoolhouse has the best lighting on the planet. Go to Food52, check out Tiara if you're in New York City. Go to the pastry box, grab her cookie and we will see you back here next.
