Worklife with Adam Grant: The Neglected Power of Siblings with Susan Dominus

Release Date: June 24, 2025
Host: Adam Grant
Guest: Susan Dominus, Staff Writer at The New York Times Magazine

Introduction

In this compelling episode of Worklife with Adam Grant, titled "The Neglected Power of Siblings", organizational psychologist Adam Grant engages in a deep conversation with Susan Dominus, a renowned staff writer at The New York Times Magazine. Dominus explores the intricate dynamics of sibling relationships and their profound impact on individual success and personal development.

Exploring Sibling Influence

Dominus introduces her fascination with successful siblings, particularly the Wasserstein family, highlighting how multiple high-achieving individuals emerged from the same household. She shares her observation from summer camp, noting:

"There was absolutely nothing cooler in our day than that."
— Susan Dominus [04:10]

Dominus delves into the role their parents played, emphasizing the mother's relentless drive for her children's success and the father's immigrant background, which fostered a belief that "anything is possible." This environment, she suggests, instills confidence in children to pursue unconventional and ambitious paths.

Nature vs. Nurture in Sibling Dynamics

Adam Grant raises a critical question regarding the interplay of genetics (nature) and upbringing (nurture) in shaping these high-achieving siblings:

"How do we think about separating, you know, what's genetic and what's learned?"
— Adam Grant [05:48]

Dominus acknowledges the complexity of disentangling these factors, referring to twin and adoption studies that attempt to isolate genetic influences from environmental ones. She emphasizes that while genetics play a role, parenting effects might be "much smaller than parents themselves" anticipate, focusing instead on the day-to-day experiences shared within the family.

Parenting Styles and Their Impact

The conversation shifts to the nuances of parenting, especially in high-achieving families. Dominus discusses how authoritative parenting—characterized by high expectations without punitive measures—can foster success without imposing undue pressure:

"I just didn't break them."
— Susan Dominus [38:32]

This approach contrasts sharply with traditional methods that often emphasize discipline and rigid expectations, instead promoting a nurturing environment where children feel empowered to explore their interests.

Sibling Spillover Effects

Dominus references Emma Zhang's study on sibling spillover effects, demonstrating that an older sibling's academic success can positively influence their younger siblings' performance:

"What you see there is that there really is a strong sibling spillover effect."
— Susan Dominus [17:19]

She explains how the success of one sibling sets a new standard, inspiring younger siblings to strive for similar or greater achievements. This phenomenon is evident not only in academics but also in other domains like sports, where younger siblings often excel by emulating and building upon their older siblings' foundations.

Case Studies: The Groff Family

Dominus shares insights from her research on the Groff family, where siblings achieved excellence in diverse fields. She highlights how each child's unique path was influenced by their siblings' successes, yet they maintained individual identities and pursuits.

"It was almost as if Sarah True... knew it was safe for her to pursue athletics because her sister excelled academically."
— Susan Dominus [20:33]

This balance between collective family success and individual aspirations underscores the powerful yet often overlooked role siblings play in personal development.

Personal Reflections and Changing Perspectives

Both Dominus and Grant reflect on how their research and experiences have reshaped their views on parenting and personal responsibility. Dominus admits a shift from being overly achievement-oriented to valuing her children's happiness and life experiences more deeply:

"I have become less achievement oriented and more desirous that they love their lives and experience the best of what the world has to offer."
— Susan Dominus [39:07]

Grant shares how the discussions have influenced his approach to parenting, emphasizing the importance of fostering open family conversations rather than imposing rigid expectations.

Conclusion

The episode culminates in a thoughtful examination of how sibling relationships and family dynamics contribute significantly to individual success and well-being. Dominus and Grant challenge conventional notions of parenting and achievement, advocating for a balanced approach that values both personal fulfillment and collective family support.

As Grant aptly summarizes:

"We don't know how much of a difference parents really make when it comes to children's character. What we do know is that parents should focus on the quality of experiences that kids have and how they remember their upbringing."
— Adam Grant [41:29]

This episode serves as a profound reminder of the subtle yet powerful influences that siblings and family environments wield in shaping our lives.

Notable Quotes

• Susan Dominus [04:10]: "There was absolutely nothing cooler in our day than that."
  Reflecting on the awe inspired by the Wasserstein family at summer camp.

• Adam Grant [05:48]: "How do we think about separating, you know, what's genetic and what's learned?"
  Questioning the balance of nature and nurture in sibling success.

• Susan Dominus [17:19]: "What you see there is that there really is a strong sibling spillover effect."
  Discussing the impact of older siblings on younger siblings' academic performance.

• Susan Dominus [38:32]: "I just didn't break them."
  Highlighting a parenting philosophy centered on nurturing rather than pushing.

• Adam Grant [41:29]: "We don't know how much of a difference parents really make when it comes to children's character. What we do know is that parents should focus on the quality of experiences that kids have and how they remember their upbringing."
  Summarizing the episode's core insights on parenting and family influence.

Further Reflections

The episode not only sheds light on the underestimated role of siblings in personal development but also encourages listeners to rethink traditional parenting strategies. By understanding the delicate balance between genetics, environment, and sibling interactions, individuals can foster healthier and more supportive family dynamics that nurture both personal and collective success.