Searching for Soldier Dad: 3. Ghosts

Summary

World of Secrets – “Searching for Soldier Dad: 3. Ghosts”

BBC | May 4, 2026 | Host: Ivana Davidovich

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Overview

In the third episode of “Searching for Soldier Dad,” BBC journalist Ivana Davidovich continues following the deeply personal journeys of Kenyan children fathered by British soldiers who disappeared, leaving their partners and offspring behind. This episode, titled “Ghosts,” explores the psychological aftershocks of paternal absence, the trauma and resilience of the children growing up with unanswered questions about their identities, and the promise—and risk—of new DNA evidence as families search for truth and connection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Weight of Absence and the Search for Identity

• Kathy’s Story:

  • Celebrating her 18th birthday with her mother Maggie, Kathy’s moment of joy is overshadowed by the presence of British soldiers, reminding them both of Kathy’s missing father (02:31).
  • Kathy shares the emotional toll of being mixed race in rural Kenya—subjected to relentless bullying, stereotypes, and isolation at school (05:14).
  • The absence of her father was long explained as death. At ten, Kathy found his Facebook profile, realized he was alive, but received no reply to her many messages (06:20).

• Peter’s Story:

  • Raised in the “ghetto” outside Nanyuki, Peter also stands out as the only mixed race child and is called “white” by the local community, reflecting complex colonial legacies and attitudes toward race (15:06).
  • Peter’s longing for identity, recognition, and paternal connection pushes him to repeatedly seek help from the British military base—to no avail (17:03).
  • The cumulative pain leads to substance abuse and self-destructive behavior; Peter transparently discusses alienation, drinking to cope with despair, and feeling like “nobody” (18:25).

2. Mental Health Challenges

• Kathy’s Mental Health Struggles:

  • Deep emotional pain pushes Kathy towards self-harm and suicide attempts, fueled by bullying and her father’s rejection (08:03, 09:16).
  • She describes messaging her absent father on Facebook as “just messaging a ghost” but also as her only safe space at the time (12:28, 12:43).
  • Kathy’s principal and the school therapist intervene after a peer alerts them to her suicide attempt, highlighting the importance—and rarity—of supportive adult intervention in these scenarios (09:53).

• Maggie’s Perspective:

  • Kathy’s mother Maggie describes her shock upon discovering her daughter’s scars and reveals her own struggles to provide and cope, amplifying the sense of isolation for both mother and child (10:47, 11:31).

3. Generational Trauma and Social Isolation

• Both Kathy and Peter’s mothers remain haunted by the soldiers who left them—obsessively replaying music from the past, clinging to memories and unanswered questions (20:11, 20:35).
• The absence of British fathers reverberates through the lives of their children: it fosters hopelessness, rage, and a longing for connection. Both Kathy and Peter hope to break the cycle, with Peter committed to being present for his own son (23:03).

4. The Promise and Peril of DNA Investigations

• Over five days, the legal and scientific team collect 17 DNA samples from children and adults who believe themselves to be the offspring of British soldiers (24:53).
• Participants voice hope and apprehension: will finding these men help, or open “a Pandora’s box” of fresh pain? (25:57)

5. Breakthroughs and Emotional Reunions (29:42 onward)

• In London, geneticist Denise Cindercombe Court presents DNA results to the legal team and, via video call, to participants in Kenya.

• Peter’s Discovery:

  • For Peter, the DNA results are clear: his father, a man living in Yorkshire, UK, has been found. Peter is overwhelmed, “excited and also confused,” but hopeful for a relationship (31:52–32:44).

• Kathy’s Search:

  • Kathy’s DNA reveals only distant relatives, but with the help of social data, the team locates a likely candidate for her father. The next step is direct outreach (33:10–34:04).
  • Both Kathy and her mom express cautious hope.

• Reunion:

  • The episode reaches its emotional apex as Peter speaks—to his dad for the very first time. The exchange is warm and accepting, with Peter expressing gratitude, forgiveness, and joy (35:47–36:50).
  • Peter describes the transformative power of the call: “Like right now, I found my dad. I feel like I have someone, you understand? …that pain has come out as joy.” (37:01).

• The investigators also make a promising lead for Yvonne, another participant who grew up believing she was an orphan. Her case ends on a cliffhanger, as a DNA match points to a living British soldier who may be her father (38:50–39:51).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kathy, on the pain of absence:

  “It was just like messaging a ghost… And the only safe space I could find at that time was texting the ghost. Because the ghost won’t talk back.” (12:28–12:43)

• Peter, on despair and drinking:

  “You’re just living for the sake of living. You’re just existing, but you’re nobody. You’re feeling like you’re nobody.” (18:25–19:12)

• Maggie, to her absent partner:

  “I was like, you know, please. I was pleading with him, help our daughter. She will die. But I never get response.” (12:07)

• Denise Cindercombe Court, geneticist:

  “We have one case where we’re confident we have the parent and we have his name as well…” (31:42)

• Peter, upon hearing his father has been found:

  “Really? That’s good. That’s good.” (32:01)

• Peter, speaking to his father for the first time:

  “I’m just happy that you accepted me… I hope we see us very soon. I still got love for you. Dad.” (35:57–36:19)

• Peter, after the reunion:

  “All the pain that I’ve been carrying all these 30 years… that pain has come out as joy.” (37:01)

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Important Timestamps

• [02:31] – Kathy and her mother’s bittersweet birthday moment with British soldiers in the club.
• [05:14] – Kathy describes the alienation and bullying at school.
• [08:03] – Kathy opens up about emotional pain, self-harm, and suicide attempts.
• [10:47] – Maggie discovers her daughter’s self-harm scars.
• [15:06] – Peter recollects his experience growing up as “white” in the neighborhood.
• [17:03] – Peter’s attempts to find his father through the British base.
• [18:25] – The mental health spiral: Peter’s alcoholism and sense of hopelessness.
• [23:03] – Peter’s determination to break the cycle for his own son.
• [24:53] – DNA sample collection and the scale of the project.
• [31:52–32:44] – Peter is told the identity of his father.
• [33:10–34:04] – Kathy’s genetic profile and new clues about her father’s identity.
• [35:47–36:50] – Peter and his father’s first conversation.
• [37:01] – Peter reflects on the emotional impact of the reunion.
• [38:50–39:51] – Breaking news about a surprise lead for Yvonne.

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Tone & Style

The episode is deeply personal, emotionally raw, and marked by moments of deep vulnerability from both children and parents. Ivana Davidovich’s narration blends empathy, observation, and journalistic rigor, letting participant voices shine and grounding their personal stories in the broader historical context of colonialism and abandonment.

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Conclusion

“Ghosts” confronts the psychological scars that paternal abandonment leaves on children and mothers in Kenya. Through intimate interviews, the episode sensitively traces trauma, survival, and the cautious hope offered by new scientific solutions to old secrets. By the end, listeners witness a milestone reunion and the fragile beginning of new family chapters—while others wait, suspended between hope and heartbreak, for “ghosts” to become real.

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Next episode: The search continues for more families, with new leads and more hope for closure.

Transcript

[Podcast Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Ivana Davidovich]

before we start, just a warning that this episode contains references to suicide and self harm, which some listeners may find upsetting. Kathy and her mom Maggie are at one of the clubs on Anuki's Main Street. It's January 2024 and it's Kathy's 18th birthday.

[Maggie]

I'll be the one to buy her the first drink.

[Ivana Davidovich]

The dance floor is bathed in red light. Green lasers cut through the dark. At the front, the DJ plays the latest Kenyan hits mixed with Nigerian Afrobeats. Everyone is dancing.

[Maggie]

Then she had cocktail.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Very big cocktail, very big. Waitresses balancing trays of shots thread their way through the crowd. And she was well behaved. I'm a nice girl. You're a nice girl?

[Kathy]

Yeah.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Then at a table right at the back, Maggie spots a group of British soldiers. And I just hold my daughter hand

[Maggie]

and I stop one of them and

[Ivana Davidovich]

I say, she marches up to them with Kathy in tow.

[Kathy]

She pushed me.

[Maggie]

Oh my God.

[Ivana Davidovich]

With a mischievous grin, Maggie points at Kathy and tells them, I've got something that belongs to you.

[Kathy]

Then she's like, what?

It's through.

[Ivana Davidovich]

At first the soldiers look confused and

[Maggie]

the guy was like, what?

[Ivana Davidovich]

I said this one Then they caught Anon. They're being teased. Almost everyone in Alyuki knows about the children with British fathers. They sit back down at their table and Kathy and Maggie continue their night. She enjoyed herself, actually.

[Maggie]

We went home at what time?

[Ivana Davidovich]

Like 6:00am? Yeah, 6:00am Yeah. I love how all these bars, they're all open until 6am I love Maggie's irreverent humor. But this story is tinged with sadness. Even on a day which is meant to be a celebration, she can't escape the specter of Kathy's missing dad. Beneath her jokes, there is a darkness. Even the sight of British soldiers is enough to remind her of Phil, the man who proposed to her, who wrote all those love letters, who held Kathy when she was seven months old and then left with no explanation. Through Kathy's teenage years, his absence has haunted them more than ever. This is World of Secrets season 12 searching for soldier dad a BBC World Service investigation. I'm Ivana Davidovich, a BBC journalist. For the past two years, I've been following DNA detectives and as they tracked down the British soldiers who fathered children in Kenya and then disappeared. Episode 3 Ghosts. Kids.

[Kathy]

How are you, kids?

[Ivana Davidovich]

Oh, this is kids. I want to understand more about Kathy's experience growing up. So we go to her old primary school where we're warmly welcomed by the principal. Have you seen her photo? There's still a picture of her on the wall. The best swimmer.

[Kathy]

Do you still swim?

[Ivana Davidovich]

Kathy was the school's star swimmer. But this isn't a happy stroll down memory lane. Kathy was one of only a few mixed race people in the school.

[Kathy]

I did have a couple of bullies and they did make my life a living hell here.

[Ivana Davidovich]

What was the bullying about? What were they telling you at that age?

[Kathy]

Mostly just you being weird. That's how they put it. You being weird, like different.

[Ivana Davidovich]

But was that the first time you realized, actually, am I different?

[Kathy]

Yeah,

[Ivana Davidovich]

there's a stereotype in Kenya. If you have a white parent, you must be rich. But Kathy, she wasn't. And so she was ridiculed.

[Kathy]

Okay, let me show you my favorite spot to cry. Or like the corner, there I go and crouch down and then start crying until I felt better. You know, sometimes I come back here. It's mostly where most of my trauma is. So I come here most of the time to just reflect, think about it, appreciate who I am today and continue with life.

[Ivana Davidovich]

When Kathy was little, her mum told her that her dad was a soldier who had died. But when she was 10, she found her dad's Facebook profile and realized he was alive. She messaged him but she got no reply. From this point onwards, every now and again when she got home from school, she'd send him a message, sharing updates about her life, asking him questions. But the response was always the silence. When Kathy moved up to secondary school, she hoped to leave the bullying behind. But it got worse. Some of the students stole her belongings and one night a girl even cut off her hair. Meanwhile, her mum Maggie was struggling too. Providing for the family alone without the support of Kathy's dad was taking its toll. Maggie worked so many hours that often she only slept for an hour a night. Kathy would usually tell her mum everything, but not this.

[Kathy]

I'd be emotional, I'd be angry a lot and I just didn't know how to open up to tell her this and this is going on in my life because she has her own problems.

[Ivana Davidovich]

However, there was someone she confided in her dad. She kept sending messages into the void. By the time Kathy was 15, five

[Kathy]

years of zero communication, one sided. I was like, I was fed up.

[Ivana Davidovich]

The rejection she felt from her father, from the other kids at school gnawed away at her.

[Kathy]

Like I could feel my, my heart hurting and I felt like my lungs were on fire because I felt like screaming, I felt like shouting, I felt angry at everyone, I felt angry at myself. And then with the situation at home and everything else I eventually learned about like self harm. I mean it wasn't exactly pleasurable but it made the emotional pain physical.

[Ivana Davidovich]

By the time of her exams, Kathy felt like her life was closing in on her.

[Kathy]

That week was a tough week because it was exam week and the bullies and like all that pressure was on my head already.

[Ivana Davidovich]

She poured all of her feelings into the Facebook messages to her dad.

[Kathy]

I was just, literally just crying for help. I was like just telling him this happened today. Me and mum fought, let's say someone bullied me or I feel like this. I just mostly tried to get him to talk to me by maybe saying something that might trigger him.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Kathy's self harm escalated and most of

[Kathy]

the times there's blood and all that. So I used to like wrap some tissue on my arm to not get it in the clothes and all that. I mean everything would be a bit better if I was not around because she wouldn't have stress with school fees, she wouldn't be thinking of buying extra clothes or anything for me. So I thought it would be better if I just like died. And now that's when I started attempting suicide.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Another pupil found out that Kathy had tried to take her own life.

[Kathy]

She told me, kate, man, don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to your mum. So I was taken to the principal's office. The principal talked to me. He tried to give me, like, counseling. He even hired a therapist for me. Like, I'd have a therapy session, like, almost every week. Like, twice a week, at least.

[Ivana Davidovich]

As Kathy is telling me this, I look over at her mom, Maggie, sitting on the sofa next to her. Tears roll down her cheeks. She holds Kathy's hand tightly. You're finding it hard to listen to this, right? Yeah. Today they're so close. But back then, Kathy told her mum nothing. When she was at home, she would go to her room and avoid eye contact until one day she reached for a glass of water and her sleeve edged up. Maggie noticed the scars on her daughter's arm.

[Maggie]

And I was like, what are you doing? You know, I was shocked. Like, I told her, she knew how I used to work. I never slept because I want this money. I go sleep, like 30 minutes or one hour. She would come from school and sometimes she'll be like, oh, mom, when are you going to sleep? You know, I didn't know it was affecting her.

[Kathy]

So let's just say I kind of, like, fought my depression a little. Didn't know who to talk to at that time. It was really hard, though. And then I felt so small. I felt like I was being a burden to everyone, me and Mom. I'll get like, almost every.

[Maggie]

Because I feel like, you know, I'm also going through my, you know, my own. And I'm trying because I'm doing all this because of you, you know, and when I tell her that, maybe she'll feel offended and like, mom, you don't love me. Mom, you don't. And I'm like, I love you so much. In this world, nobody will love you the way I love you. So we should have each other because we are there for each other.

[Kathy]

That time when I went home with the scars, Mum did take a picture.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Maggie sent the picture to Kathy's dad.

[Maggie]

I was like, you know, please. I was pleading with him, help our daughter. She will die. But I never get response.

[Kathy]

At that time, just because I knew I was talking to a ghost, I just literally poured my heart out. It's like I was writing a journal, but I was talking to someone who's not there.

[Ivana Davidovich]

You said, oh, it was just like messaging a ghost.

[Kathy]

But you still.

[Ivana Davidovich]

There was still a reason why you were doing it, right? You'd never met this guy. So you must have deep down wanted something. No matter how unlikely it was. Do you think?

[Kathy]

I mean, I just wanted everything to be over. Like all the suffering, the pain. I just needed a safe space. And the only safe space I could find at that time was texting the ghost. Because the ghost won't talk back.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Ghosts, these absent soldier dads about whom only fragments of information are known. He was a good guy. You look just like him. It's just enough to paint a blurry picture. Now there is a chance to bring these ghosts back to life. You know that feeling when you have a dream which is so perfect that when you wake up, you will yourself to go back to sleep and step back into the fantasy. But the harder you try, the more it fades from view. And no matter what you do, reality returns.

[Peter]

I even had a dream one time that he came here. I had that dream with my dad. And in that dream he told me he loves me. You know I'm coming for you. But I woke up. I tried to go back to sleep so that I can continue dreaming. But it was not possible.

[Ivana Davidovich]

We heard Peter in the last episode talking about his parents meeting in one of Nanyuki's nightclubs. I first speak to him at his grandparents Avocado Farm. The golden late evening sun filtering through the leaves. We're here with the lawyers to take a sample of Peter's DNA. He tells me about his childhood.

[Peter]

I'm born in the ghetto. I've been through. I'm like a rat. I'm very intelligent.

[Ivana Davidovich]

He grew up in in what he calls the ghetto. Just a few minutes drive from the center of Nanyuki. It feels a world away. It's a maze of bumpy, unpaved roads. Row after row of wooden houses with washing lines strung up outside. Growing up here, Peter learned to think quickly. He often had to get himself out of difficult situations because as the only mixed race kids in his neighborhood, he stood out.

[Peter]

Because I was the only one in the ghetto. White in the 90s people didn't like the white people, you know.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Peter doesn't describe himself as mixed race. He describes himself as white. The first time I hear this, I'm taken aback. He points to his skin as he says it. And I hear the same thing from other mixed race people I meet in Kenya. That they're seen and often see themselves as white. It makes me think about how we see race and how it is constructed socially and historically. It's often the part that's different around which our identities are formed.

[Peter]

So even When I was born, they were saying, I'm a caste to the family. That's what they used to believe in because of the white people who came here, murdered our women, raped our women. You know, they still have those things in their mind. They know white people are bad, you know, that's what the old generation knows about white people. So we were having a very hard time, you know, not all children of

[Ivana Davidovich]

British soldiers in Anuki are mixed race, but for those who are, even everyday life can be more challenging. Making this series, I've heard about shops increasing their prices for mixed race customers and of a mixed race child being taunted and called a colonizer. Kenya was of course a British colony until the 60s, being mixed race in rural Kenya. Not only did Peter grow up not knowing his white British father, he hardly knew any white people. His only connection to his father was the colour of his skin. Throughout his childhood, he was desperate to know more about his other side. When he was a teenager, he travelled to the army base on the outskirts of Nanyuki to ask for help finding his dad.

[Peter]

They told me they have an office for. I don't know, they called it something affairs. We tried to get some help from them. We tried to get an appointment to see the officer in charge of that office.

[Ivana Davidovich]

The British base has liaison officers to communicate with the local community. Peter says he was told he needed to speak to one of them.

[Peter]

I should go there. I tried to go there, but they never gave me an appointment. They always used to tell me, the one in charge is not around. The one in charge is not around.

[Ivana Davidovich]

The next year he tried again, but once more, Peter says he was shooed away.

[Peter]

I tried my best to find my dad and I always needed him. As a boy, you need your dad most.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Peter later tried to ask an NGO for help finding his father. He scoured social media, searching for what his mum told him his father's name was. Before long, he found someone. The moment he saw the photo, he was convinced it was him. But when Peter sent a message, he was blocked.

[Peter]

All my energy was gone. I was hopeless. And since that day, I've been very hopeless.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Peter's childhood hope turns into adult despair.

[Peter]

I couldn't do anything about my dad, you know, it came a point. I said, ah, enough is enough. Let me forget about him, you know, And I start drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking. And the more you drink, the more stress you get. No, I was shaking. Like when I don't drink in the morning, I shake. No, take drugs. I don't sleep enough. I don't eat enough well, you know, all stressed up. I don't shower, I don't. I'm just living, you know. Yeah, I'm hopeless. Like a hopeless person, you know. You're just living for the sake of living. You're just existing, but you're nobody. You're feeling like you're nobody.

[Ivana Davidovich]

In his 20s, on the weekends he goes out in Nanuque's infamous bars and clubs. The same bars where his mum and dad met. When he sees the British soldiers, his rage boils over.

[Peter]

Even I fight with them. The British soldiers in the club, you know, they are very stupid, those boys, you know, they are 20, 21, 22, you know, they are very stupid. They have bad language, you know. So many times I fight with them. For me, because I was angry at my dad. I was angry at every white man, you know, because I see what my dad did to my mom also. These boys would do the same to other women. So they are all the same, you know?

[Ivana Davidovich]

Peter's mom is also drinking heavily. The ghost of his dad haunts her too. At night he lies awake listening as she plays the music that she and his dad enjoyed together in the 90s.

[Peter]

Even when she drinks, she put music. She has to call my dad's name. That name. I used to hear it a lot of times. My dad's name.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Even though they were only together for a few months, she can't let go. The dash dreams of a better future. The lack of information about what happened, why he never returned.

[Peter]

My mom always tell me that she loved my dad. Even she got married to another man, her heart is still with him, you know.

[Ivana Davidovich]

When Peter is In his late 20s, his mom's health deteriorates and her drinking worsens.

[Peter]

When you bring her food, she throw it away. You think she have eaten, but she have thrown it away, you know. So she was finishing herself slowly, slowly, you know, because of the stress. And she always hoped to see my dad one day, you know. She never gave up on him.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Peter's mum dies just after his 30th birthday. He feels alone. His desperation to find his dad is now overpowering. By this time, Peter says that he has been to the British military base to ask for help six times. Two weeks after his mum's death, he goes to the base again. He asks the same questions and gets the same response. He goes to a nearby bar and he drinks. After he leaves, he feels compelled to go back to the army base. It's pulling him in like a magnet. He gazes up at the 5 meter security fence.

[Peter]

I think I have that blood, that military blood for my dad, you know. I'm never scared, you know.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Peter starts to climb. The soldiers in the watchtower turn their guns on him. They shout enemy, enemy. But Peter doesn't stop. He shouts back, how can you shoot me? I'm one of your people. He keeps climbing until the military police pull up on the street below. Then he lets go and drops to the floor.

[Peter]

Every time I get such respond from someone, I get more strong, you know. The struggles I go through, they make me stronger every day, you know.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Seeing the damage that alcohol caused to his mum was the push that Peter needed to stop his own drinking. Instead he focused on the one thing that made him feel better, his work as a chef.

[Peter]

It always makes me happy when I'm cooking for people. When I'm cooking, I don't think I feel free, you know.

[Ivana Davidovich]

By the time we meet him, Peter is in a much better place. He now has a 3 year old son of his own.

[Peter]

I will try to do my best and not repeat the mistakes my dad did.

[Ivana Davidovich]

And seeing him with his son Joe, it's clear that he's a very different kind of father. Joe is never more than a step or two away from Peter's side as they walk around the farm picking fruit from the bushes to eat. But Peter's yearning for his father has never faded.

[Peter]

There's always a feeling that that brings to the family. There's some love you get from your dad you don't get from your mom, you know, like I was missing a lot, a lot.

[Ivana Davidovich]

He tells me he loves the idea of living in the uk.

[Peter]

My blood is British. When I see the British flag somewhere, I always feel something in my. Yeah, I get goosebumps.

[Ivana Davidovich]

His face lights up as he talks. I remember what he told me about his mum. How she dreamed of meeting a white man and moving to the uk. Peter has conflicting emotions. A patriotism for Britain, a country he knows little of, as well as a rage towards their soldiers. And he yearns for the love of his father. But he feels anger at the man who left his mum. It's clear that the DNA project is reigniting a hope in him which he lost many years ago. But I have to ask, how would he feel if things don't go to plan? What if he's found and he just completely refuses to engage? How would that feel for you?

[Peter]

Okay. I feel bad because I still love him. Yeah. And he can change my life if I meet him.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Over the five days we spend in Anuki, the numbers involved in this project Snowball. By the time we leave, DNA samples have been collected from 17 people. The oldest is 69. He believes his father was an army officer when Kenya was still a British colony in the 50s. It's clear we're tapping into a pattern that spans decades. And it continues. The youngest is just 18 months old. As we leave for the airport, in my head, I run back over all the people we've spoken to. The mothers in desperate need of child support, the women searching for answers about why their partners left, and the children eager to understand the other half of their identity. Those suspicions we encountered on the first day have given way to optimism. And the mood among Kelvin and the other lawyers is high. It's been an amazing week.

[Peter]

Do you ever think that, like, what

[Ivana Davidovich]

if people get in touch with their fathers? But be it having these men in their lives actually makes their lives worse? Certainly it is one of the options available.

[Kathy]

But in the end, it solves the

[Ivana Davidovich]

question of who was my father?

[Kathy]

And it gives them closure to their end.

[James Netto]

But to the extent of whether a

[Ivana Davidovich]

compatible relationship is formed thereafter is a question. There is so much hope, so much possibility, but I can't shake a feeling of nervousness. What if people's fathers are not found and hopes are dashed? And what if this project opens a Pandora's box that no one's prepared for?

[Kathy]

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[Ivana Davidovich]

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[Ivana Davidovich]

Hi, James, it's Ivana here. I just wondered if you had any news about the DNA results. Back in London, the wait for the DNA results begins. We were told this process would take weeks, but the weeks turn into months and the participants in Kenya tell me they're feeling restless and impatient until. James. Hi, how are you? God, so nice to see you. Last time it was Kenya, very different.

[Peter]

Lovely to meet you.

[Ivana Davidovich]

On an unusually sunny March day in London, I meet one of the project's lawyers, James Netto. He's joined by Denise Cindercombe Court. She's the geneticist from King's College London who was taking the DNA samples in Nanyuki. Feels like it's been ages we've been waiting. We're in the offices of James's law firm in London and it has a glorious view overlooking St. Paul's Cathedral.

[James Netto]

Please park yourself here. Got a busy day. Yes.

[Ivana Davidovich]

The tension in the room is palpable because today is the day I was excited as well. As a scientist, I do look at it objectively. So we've got some really interesting results, some surprising results. Denise has been analyzing the DNA samples. Fine. All right then. Do you want to have a look at what I've put on the PowerPoint?

[James Netto]

So which one should we look? Should we look at it now?

[Ivana Davidovich]

She's been investigating whether their DNA matches with anyone else who has uploaded their sample to Ancestry's huge database of tens of millions of people. Where she finds a match, she analyzes the samples to see how close the relative is. And today she's going to reveal what she's found to us, but more importantly, to James. Clients who are on the phone from Nanyuki.

[James Netto]

Your connection's a bit wobbly.

[Ivana Davidovich]

We call Kenyan lawyer Kelvin. He has gathered together several of the participants in his office so James and Denise can talk to them directly.

[James Netto]

We have a full house here today. Thank you everyone for your patience. We've had a lot of work to do going through these DNA results, so thank you very much for waiting. I hope it hasn't Been too long. What we're going to do, what we intend to do is speak to each one of you individually so that we can discuss the DNA results we've now

[Ivana Davidovich]

had through one by one, the participants take the phone. One woman is told that her uncle has been found. And a man is told that he might have a half brother. These are all close matches. It's amazing to have found any kind of relative. But there's one result which is a direct hit. This is the news that Denise is most excited to deliver. So we have one case where we're confident we have the parent and we have his name as well. This is Casey James and his paralegals have assigned each of the cases a letter. On the table in front of him are a dozen folders, one for each case and case P. The one with a bullseye on the father is someone we know well.

[James Netto]

So, Peter, can you hear me properly?

[Peter]

Yeah, I can hear you well. Great.

[James Netto]

I've got some exciting news for you. We have been able to find your dad.

[Peter]

Really? That's good. That's good.

[James Netto]

Yeah. We found out who your dad is.

[Ivana Davidovich]

His father is a man in his 50s Living in Yorkshire in the north of England.

[Peter]

That's good. I'm happy to hear that. Thank you very much.

[James Netto]

I know this is a lot to take in at short notice, but this is brilliant news. I will reach out to start some communication with him. How do you feel about this?

[Peter]

I'm excited and also confused, but I hope I will be able to see him and meet him. Yeah, that's all I want.

[James Netto]

There's no promise as to how things will go, but we'll try hard. There's no guarantee that your father will want to engage with you. Look, it's his decision.

[Peter]

Okay, thank you very much. Okay, James, thank you. Bye bye.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Kelvin tells me that after the call, Peter is in tears, overcome by emotion. In the room in London, James is grinning and there's still more news to deliver. The next voice on the line is Kathy's. Cathy.

[James Netto]

Can we speak to Kathy, please? Kathy, hey, it's great to see you again. How are you doing?

[Kathy]

Yes, nice to see you too.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Denise's PowerPoint chart shows what analysis of Kathy's DNA has revealed about her heritage.

[James Netto]

19% Scottish, 15% English, Northwestern Europe and then 10% Germanic.

[Ivana Davidovich]

But the only relatives they've managed to find are are much more distant than Peter's distant connections.

[James Netto]

What are we talking?

[Ivana Davidovich]

Half great aunt or uncle or a great grand aunt or uncle. So it's quite. However, James is not just Relying on the DNA analysis to find his fathers, Kathy and her mom Maggie provided so much information about Kathy's father, his name, his Facebook account. James has managed to track him down to a town on the south coast of England.

[James Netto]

All these bits of the jigsaw, when you put them together, it really does show that this gentleman is really quite likely that this gentleman is your dad. So I think it is really good.

[Ivana Davidovich]

And the next step is to write to him.

[James Netto]

He might just block me, he might ignore me, I don't know. You're definitely, definitely, definitely British. There's no two ways about it.

[Maggie]

Good to know.

[James Netto]

So, yes. How do you feel about it?

[Kathy]

I'm conflicted in a way, but I have hopes.

[Peter]

Yeah, I do.

[Ivana Davidovich]

James sits back in his chair and looks relieved. And I can feel Kelvin's delight even over the unstable connection.

[Peter]

It's been a good day today.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Really good.

[James Netto]

It's about to kick off a good beginning and we are on the right foot.

[Ivana Davidovich]

So thank you, James, thank you, Tim,

[James Netto]

and have a blessed afternoon. Calvin, can you hear me?

[Ivana Davidovich]

Yes, I can hear you. It's six months later and a lot has happened. James has been writing to the potential fathers he's found and some of their responses have surprised us. A few have written back to James saying they want to make contact with their children. Today, James is sitting on a video call waiting for a father and son to join. They are about to speak to each other for the very first time. At the start of this process, we didn't know if we would find any fathers, let alone witness a reunion. A man in his 50s appears on the screen than a man in his 30s with a toddler on his lap. It's Peter and his son Joe. Peter's dad didn't want to be part of the series, so you will just hear Peter's half of the conversation.

[Peter]

Dumbo, I'm happy to see you.

[Ivana Davidovich]

I'm struck by the warmth between them, by the ease of the conversation. Peter's bottom lip quivers.

[Peter]

I'm just happy that you accepted me.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Peter says that his dad tells him that he had no idea Peter's mom was pregnant and that he had a son. He asks about his life and Peter tells him that he's a chef.

[Peter]

We make barbecue together when I come. I hope we see us very soon. I still got love for you. Dad.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Dad. It rolls off his tongue so easily. This is the moment Peter has been dreaming of all his life. The moment he was grasping for as he threw himself at the fence of the British military camp. Promises are Made about adding him to the family WhatsApp group. Maybe meeting in person one day.

[Peter]

Thank you for your time, dad. I'm too happy today. Take care. To dad. Bye, dad.

[Ivana Davidovich]

After the call, Peter is sitting with his little boy, Joe, in his lap. His eyes are glistening. He's looking into the distance, trying to gather his thoughts.

[Peter]

Speaking to my dad for the first time. It hasn't been easy. I feel different now than how I used to feel before. It's a different feeling that I can't explain right now. Like right now, I found my dad. I feel like I have someone, you understand? But all in all, I forgive him for everything. My hope for the future is I spend time, more time with him. All the pain that I've been carrying all these 30 years thinking about my dad, all the discrimination I get from people, that's what has come out, you know, that pain has come out as joy.

[Ivana Davidovich]

Peter's dad is no longer a ghost. This man who represents the other half of Peter's identity is now very real. The father he's been so desperate for now feels so close. I just hope it delivers. There's one other person that everyone has been desperate to find a match for. Yvonne's mum died when she was a baby and she believed her dad did too. We met her in her village and she told us about her dream to be a journalist. The initial DNA results only found a very distant relative. It didn't seem particularly hopeful, but one day I'm on my way into work when I get a voice note from James that stops me in my tracks.

[James Netto]

Ivana, hi, it's James here. I just wanted to give you some breaking news. So, Yvonne, the young woman whose mother is very sadly deceased and we have

[Ivana Davidovich]

no idea he's got a lead in her case. Yvonne's DNA has been matched with a woman who is her distant relative himself. James has spoken to this woman and asked her if anyone in the family has links to the British military she could think of.

[James Netto]

No one she was related to who had any links to the British army. Apart from one chap. I found him on LinkedIn. And his LinkedIn profile reveals that he was in Kenya between 2005 and 2009, which means he was there when Yvonne was conceived and born.

[Ivana Davidovich]

This man could be Yvonne's father. And this man is not dead. Yvonne the orphan may not be an orphan, but can we find him?

[James Netto]

We are looking for this chap all over the shop and every time we try and knock on his door, he's not there.

[Ivana Davidovich]

That's next time on World of Secrets. This has been episode 3 of 5 of season 12 of World of Secrets Searching for Soldier dad from the BBC World Service World of Secrets Searching for Soldier dad is a long form audio production for the BBC World Service. It's presented by me, Ivana Davidovich. The series is produced by and written by Josephine Cassili. The series editor is Matt Willis. Sound design and mix by Tom Brignall. We would like as many people as possible to hear our investigations, so please leave a rating and a review and do tell others about World of Secret.

[Peter]

Foreign.

[Kathy]

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