B (2:39)

Yeah.

C (2:40)

Wee wow on the weekend. Wee wow on the weekend. Cause this is what we do on the weekend. Hello and welcome to Wee Wow on the Weekend. I'm your host, Dennis, and that's Reggie the giant pigeon. This is the show where we chit chat and answer questions from our fans and listen to Tinkercast podcasts. What? What's wrong? Regg noise. What noise? Oh, that noise. I think Goldie Bob the Goldfish is building something. Oh, I'm not sure what she's building. I just came down here this morning and she was hard at work. She's so industrious. Ooh, looks like she's finishing up. Okay, let's see what you built, Goldie Bob. It looks like submarine, Goldie Bob. What do you need a submarine for? You can already breathe underwater. Oh, she's going inside. She's starting the propellers. She's flying around the basement. Go, Goldiebug, go. Yeah, it's not a submarine. It's like the opposite of a submarine. Yeah, what do you call a submarine that goes in the air instead of the water?

B (4:04)

Goldie Bob.

C (4:05)

Careful. Wow. Look at her go. There she goes up the stairs and. And she crashed right through the door. Yeah, I guess she's going on an adventure. Good luck out there, Goldy Bob. See you when you get back. Well, okay. Huh? Um, let's read some reviewsies. Ahem. Ahem. I'm reading reviewsies for me and for uzies. We've got us some doozies, so let's read reviews. Z's. This is the part where people write us comments on Apple podcasts or Spotify or whatever, and I print a bunch out and I read them aloud. This first reviewsy comes to us from username robot emoji, Laughing cat emoji, Crying cat emoji, Bang emoji, Star emoji. The subject says, new segment idea. The message says, dennis, I think that you need to do a segment on rating video games. Oh, that's a great idea. Robot, laughing cat, crying cat, bang star. Let's do it right now. Ahem.

A (5:15)

Rating video.

C (5:20)

Me rating video games. On this segment called rating video games, we'll be rating all the video games in the whole world. Okay, Reggie, let's start with you. How would you rate all the video games in the whole world? Oh, wow. Reggie rates all the video games in the whole world. Five stars. Yeah, you're really good at video games. Okay, now me, I rate all the video games in the whole world. Four and a half stars. Because, Reggie, there's this one level on feral monkey throw that I can't beat. It's too hard. Get good. Oh, that's rich. And that concludes our segment on rating video games. Next reviewsy. This next reviewsy comes to us from username ledismad. The subject says Dennis and Reggie, and the message says, hi, guys. Why is the sky blue? Why am I not blue? Anyway, my name is Alma. Why is the sky blue? And why is Alma not blue? Great questions, Alma. The answer to why the sky is blue is nobody knows. It's a scientific mystery. Okay, okay, okay. It's not a scientific mystery. I Just don't know the answer. But the more important question is, why is Alma not blue? Well, Alma, I'm gonna assume you're a human person and not something like a blue poison dart frog. Ah, you're right, Reggie. I shouldn't assume someone's species. Maybe Alma is a blue poison dart frog. Alma, if you're a blue poison dart frog and you're not blue, you should probably go to the frog doctor because you're supposed to be blue. And if you aren't a blue poison dart frog, then it's probably fine that you're not blue. Because human people usually aren't blue unless they're wearing face paint. Hope that helps. Next reviewsy. This last reviewsy comes to us from username Oyo Yoyo. Yo, yo, yo, yo yo yo. And the title says. Hi, Dennis.

B (7:24)

Hi.

C (7:24)

Oh, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. And the message says, Dennis, truth or dare. Ooh, a game of truth or dare. Reggie, which one should I pick? Well, if I pick truth, then I might have to tell my most secretest secret. But if I pick dare, I might have to do something super embarrassing or gross. I can't decide, Reggie. I can't decide. Okay, deep breath. I choose. I choose. I choose to move on to the next segment. Nuh uh. It's not cheating. Ahem. Okay, next up is a little segment I like to call Inside Tinkercast Studios. Ahem. Inside Tinkercast Studios. This is the part where we revisit an episode of one of my favorite Tinkercast shows. And today we're listening to wow in the World, Season 3, Episode 16 called My Asteroid is Blowing Up. Yeah, sounds like this is a space episode. And also an exploding episode. Maybe I should put on my bike helmet just in case. Just hold on one second. Here. There it is. And there. All set. Oh, and here's one for you too, Reggie. Okay, now we're ready for whatever asteroid explodey blow ups come our way. Okay, here we go.

B (8:51)

And play. Wee. Wow. Will be right back.

C (8:57)

Grown ups.

B (8:58)

This message is for you. That's it. Now back to the show. Wow. In the world.

C (9:08)

This is insane. Sure, he might be a simple blue collar oil drilling everyman from 1998, but daggone it, he's the best chance we've got for blowing up this asteroid and avoiding an Armageddon.

A (9:23)

We have approval from the president, sir.

C (9:25)

So, Bruce, what do you say?

A (9:28)

Hmm.

C (9:31)

I say yes to saving the planet. I say yes to saving my family. Yes to soaring through space and being a hero.

B (9:53)

Sorry, excuse me, coming through. Sorry. Hey, Guy. Raz. Where are you, little buddy?

A (9:59)

Mindy, I'm over here.

B (10:00)

Oh, there you are, Reggie. Want your wings? There's people trying to see this wing play. Sorry, excuse me, coming through. Just, can you put your legs up? Just hold your knees to your chest. Thank you. Thank you. I think I'm stuck. Can you give me a little nudge? Oh, thank you. Sorry. All right, buddy, I got nachos, I got popcorn, I got fish tacos. Which one do you want?

A (10:29)

Mandy, can you please be a little quieter than they're in the final number of the first act?

B (10:36)

Sorry. What did I miss?

A (10:37)

Well, we're about to find out whether Bruce will leave his daughter to go blow up the asteroid headed for Earth.

B (10:43)

I still can't believe you got us tickets to Armageddon the Musical.

A (10:47)

Reggie, that's what happens when your cousin is Lin Manuel Miranda's pet parakeet.

C (10:54)

Sorry, I'm just a simple oil man.

A (11:01)

What should I say?

C (11:05)

Well, Bruce, what's it gonna be?

A (11:09)

I say, pierce, during the intermission in.

C (11:25)

Armageddon the Musical, please be sure to visit our concessions for asteroid popcorn balls.

A (11:29)

The size of Texas. Whoa, what a first act. Mindy, I have chills.

B (11:35)

Here, put on my sweater. Okay. Reg, meet you out there. Someone's in a hurry to use the little pigeons room.

A (11:43)

I can't wait to see what the rock does as the asteroid in Act 2.

B (11:47)

Me neither. I keep hearing that he's dynamite in this.

A (11:50)

That reminds me, Mindy, who was actually playing the role of the dynamite?

B (11:54)

Um, I can't remember. Who's playing the role of the dynamite? Oh, you know what? I picked up one of those little programs when I was out in the lobby. Let's look it up in here.

A (12:03)

Ah, Mindy, it's all covered in butter.

B (12:06)

No, it's not.

A (12:08)

Then what do you call this?

B (12:11)

Um, nacho cheese. It's not even the same color as butter. Here, I'll lick it off.

A (12:17)

Ugh. Okay, let's see here. Wait a minute. That's so cool.

B (12:24)

What's so cool?

A (12:25)

It says right here, Mindy, that a special branch of NASA called Planetary Defense Coordination were actually brought on board to help write this musical.

B (12:36)

Planetary defense, huh?

A (12:38)

That's right. It says right here that it's a special branch of NASA, the government space agency that keeps an eye on the night sky for any asteroids that might be headed our way.

B (12:50)

Huh? So they're sort of like those government agents in the musical. You know, the ones that went out to Bruce's ranch to ask him to join the mission to Blow up the asteroid?

A (13:00)

Sort of. Mindy, it says they track any asteroids that come within 30 million miles of Earth.

B (13:07)

Ooh, and just to be clear, asteroids are those big old hunks of rock floating way out there in space, right?

A (13:14)

That's right. It also says that if it should ever come to it, they would lead a team of astronauts to help steer any incoming asteroids away from Earth.

B (13:25)

Wow, that is literally a big job. But.

A (13:31)

But what?

B (13:32)

Guy Raz? I don't think Planetary Defense would approve of Bruce from the musical smash bang, boom approach to stopping that asteroid.

A (13:41)

Well, why is that?

B (13:42)

Okay, so I just finished reading this brand new scientific study by Charles L. Murr from John Hopkins University, and the study shows that smashing apart an asteroid that's heading towards Earth is about as pointless as a pigeon in pajamas.

A (13:58)

Well, what do you mean?

B (14:00)

Well, Guy Raz, I could tell you.

A (14:05)

Or you could show me. Yes, we could.

B (14:07)

We finally agree.

A (14:09)

But Mindy, the second act of the musical is gonna start at any moment now.

B (14:13)

Guy Raz, we have a mostly functional time traveling wow machine that's parked right outside. We can be back before we've even left. Come on, quick trip out to the asteroid belt. What do you say?

A (14:26)

What do I say? What do I say? I say yes.

B (14:35)

Yes. Okay, let me just get the valet to bring the wow machine around.

A (14:38)

Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk. Jerry?

C (14:42)

Still waiting on that peel P50. And who's bringing around the Amphicar?

B (14:46)

Hello? Excuse me. Oh, hi, yes, I was wondering if you could bring my wow machine around.

C (14:51)

Sure. What's it look like?

B (14:52)

It's the one with the broken pirate ship door and the red racing stripes.

C (14:56)

Oh, I'm sorry, you're gonna have to be more specific. We've got a lot of wow machines here today.

A (15:00)

Today, ma'.

B (15:00)

Am. Oh, okay. Well, it's leaking mayonnaise and smells like a combo of baby powder and hot dog water.

C (15:09)

Oh, yes, I know the one. I'll be right back. There we go, ma'.

B (15:27)

Am.

C (15:28)

Sorry for the wait. I couldn't remember where I put it.

B (15:32)

Ugh, tell me about it. That happens to me all the time. One time I thought I left it in the Paleolithic era, and then I couldn't find it anywhere, and next thing I know, I end up finding it all the way in the Pleistocene era.

C (15:49)

Well, you three have a good night.

B (15:54)

Okay, Guy Raz, hop on in.

A (15:56)

Okay.

B (15:58)

Okay, let's see here. Blinds are down, tray tables are up. Let's punch in some coordinates. Asteroid belt. Okay, you ready?

A (16:11)

You bent, Mindy?

B (16:12)

Good because here we go. Yeah, never gets old. Right, Guy Raz? Uh, Guy Raz.

A (16:32)

Right, Reggie?

B (16:33)

You doing okay there, buddy? Well, Guy Raz, Reggie, I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to the asteroid belt. Over 200 million miles away from Earth and home to 2 billion tons of floating space rock. Any of which could be knocked off course by something as innocent and unassuming as, say, I don't know, maybe a little old time traveling wow machine.

A (17:09)

Mindy, what in the wow are you doing?

B (17:13)

Just giving one of these giant asteroids a little nudge towards Earth.

C (17:20)

What?

B (17:21)

Don't worry, Guy Raz. It takes at least 220 days for an asteroid to travel all the way from the asteroid belt to Earth. But, But Mindy, Guy Raz, do you trust me? No. Okay, that is not the answer I was looking for. But Guy Raz, Reggie, hold onto your tail feathers because this asteroid has a date with planet Earth. Mindy, go.

A (17:55)

Wait, wait, was that it?

B (17:57)

Like I said, just a little nudge.

A (17:59)

Okay, Mindy, but how do we stop this asteroid from crashing into Earth? Oh, are we gonna blow it up like they did in Armageddon the Musical? I say yes.

B (18:11)

Uh, no.

A (18:13)

Uh, then how?

B (18:14)

Well, remember that part of NASA that was mentioned in the musical's program earlier?

A (18:20)

Planetary Defense.

B (18:21)

Yeah, so Planetary defense has lots of different plans for stopping asteroids that are on a course for Earth.

A (18:28)

Uh huh.

B (18:29)

And one of those plans is to take a small but heavy spacecraft, slam it into the side of the asteroid and smash it into lots of chips. Teeny, tiny, harmless smithereens. And by smithereens, I mean pieces.

A (18:50)

Well, it's not exactly as exciting as a gigantic outer space explosion, but hey, if it works, it works.

B (18:58)

But that's the thing, Guy Raz.

A (19:01)

What?

B (19:02)

It doesn't work.

A (19:04)

It doesn't work.

B (19:05)

I could have sworn I fixed that echo in here, Mindy.

A (19:09)

What do you mean it doesn't work?

B (19:10)

Okay, so remember that scientific study I was telling you about earlier?

A (19:14)

The one by Charles Elmier from Johns Hopkins University?

B (19:17)

Mm, that's the one. So Charles Elmier and his team of researchers were able to test how effective this method of destroying an incoming asteroid would be by simulating it or modeling it on a computer.

A (19:31)

So he was able to use information about asteroids and impacts to predict what would happen if you slammed a spacecraft into the side of an impact asteroid.

B (19:42)

Exact oritos, Guy Raz.

A (19:44)

And what did he find?

B (19:46)

Well, that's what we're here to find out.

A (19:49)

What?

B (19:50)

Well, I didn't bring you and Reggie all the way out here to the asteroid belt just to tell you about a scientific study.

A (19:57)

You. You didn't.

B (19:58)

No, I came here to show you about a scientific study.

A (20:03)

Show me?

B (20:04)

Yes. Okay, let's see here. In the simulation, they used a 15.5 mile wide asteroid. Check.

A (20:15)

Whoa. 15.5 miles. Mindy, this asteroid is a quarter of the size of Washington D.C. yeah.

B (20:24)

And then they slammed a 4,000 foot projectile into the side of the asteroid to crack the case of whether this form of asteroid assassination would work in reality.

A (20:37)

And what did they find, Mindy?

B (20:39)

Well, why don't you grab that little tricked out bike pump over there and find out.

A (20:43)

Bike pump? Mindy, is that my bike pump?

B (20:47)

A couple of upgrades. Go ahead, check it out. Give it a couple pumps.

A (20:52)

Okay. Mindy. Mindy. What was that?

B (21:03)

The outside of the wow. Machine is expanding. Guy Raz, I turned your bike pump into an expando pump.

A (21:11)

An expando pump?

B (21:13)

Yeah, it makes the wow. Machine bigger. Check it out. Look outside.

A (21:16)

Okay. Hey. The asteroid seems to have gotten smaller.

B (21:22)

But in reality, we've just gotten bigger.

A (21:25)

Huh. So why did we need to make the wow. Machine so much bigger? Bigger?

B (21:30)

Well, to show you, I'm going to recreate the simulation or the model the same way that those researchers at John Hopkins University did. Now, let me see here. The projectile in the simulation was 4,000ft tall. And the wow. Machine is only about 10ft tall. So let's go ahead and make the wow. Machine about 400 times bigger. Move over, pal.

A (22:01)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you saying that you're gonna slam the wow Machine into the side of this asteroid in order to smash it into smithereens?

B (22:12)

Yes, of course. That's what I'm saying. Guy Raz.

A (22:16)

What?

B (22:17)

Don't worry. The wow machine is made out of reinforced aluminum sided cardboard. We'll be fine. Maybe.

A (22:25)

Mindy, I don't know about this.

B (22:28)

Great. That makes two of us. Mindy, Reggie, Guy Raz, strap yourselves in.

A (22:34)

You still don't have seatbelts in here, Mindy?

B (22:37)

Then I don't. Oh. Hold on to that railing over there.

A (22:40)

Is this railing made out of candy canes?

B (22:42)

And here we go. Oh, yeah. Ah, that sound is so annoying. Let me just take care of this.

A (23:05)

Okay.

B (23:06)

All right. Everything's fine.

A (23:10)

Hey, look, it worked. Whoa. The asteroid. It's broke it up into lots and lots of tiny, tiny pieces.

B (23:18)

What once looked like a giant piece of rock is now just millions and billions of harmless little pieces.

A (23:26)

But Mindy, I thought you said this wouldn't work.

B (23:29)

Ooh, yeah. Well, not so Fast. Guy Raz, you see that big old chunk of rock that's still intact over there?

A (23:38)

Yeah.

B (23:39)

Well, that's the core of the asteroid. And if this simulation is anything to go by. Let me just hit this button here. Whoop. Sorry. Nope, that's for the cat flap. Just need to push the fast forward button. Ah, here it is.

A (23:57)

Whoa. Whoa. Look at that, Mindy. It looks as though all of those smaller pieces of asteroid are heading back towards the core of the asteroid.

B (24:07)

Just like in the simulation.

A (24:10)

It's as though the core of the asteroid is sucking in all of the smaller pieces that just got smashed off of it.

B (24:17)

Like Humpty Dumpty putting himself back together again. And Guy Raz, this is all because of the gravitational pull.

A (24:27)

And a gravitational pull is the invisible force that heavy objects in space use to suck smaller objects in.

B (24:35)

You know it, Guy Raz and these researchers were able to show show that these big asteroids gravitational pull gave the asteroids the ability to pull themselves back together again when they were smashed by a heavy spacecraft.

A (24:51)

Right. So let me get this straight. The spacecraft smashes into the side of the asteroid, bursting into lots of little pieces, but the leftover asteroid core is still big enough to pull back in all of those little pieces because of its gravitational pull.

B (25:11)

Yep. Sucked them right up and put itself back together again.

A (25:16)

Okay, but Mindy, I still have one more eensy weensy, tiny little concern.

B (25:23)

Uh, Guy Raz, we are in a partly functional aluminum coated cardboard wow machine in the middle of the asteroid belt. Or what do you possibly have to be concerned about?

A (25:36)

There's still an asteroid headed towards planet Earth.

B (25:39)

Okay, get those ants out of your pants and calm down. As usual, I've got everything out of control.

A (25:48)

What?

B (25:49)

I also have a plan.

A (25:50)

You do?

B (25:51)

No, but NASA does.

A (25:53)

It does?

B (25:55)

Yeah. So you know how I said that NASA has a bunch of different, different plans to redirect asteroids that are on a crash course with Earth?

A (26:03)

Uh huh.

B (26:04)

Well, I thought that maybe we could take another plan out of their playbook here.

A (26:09)

NASA's Planetary Defense Playbook.

B (26:12)

Okay, now let's see here. No, no, no.

A (26:17)

How about this one, Mindy? Gravity tractor beam.

B (26:21)

Tractor beam? Like they use in science fiction fiction movies?

A (26:25)

Exactly. It says here that it's one of the most promising plans to redirect an asteroid that's heading towards Earth.

B (26:34)

Sounds good enough to me.

A (26:35)

It says here that if you can get a large enough object next to the asteroid, the object's gravitational field should be able to pull the asteroid towards it and over time change its path.

B (26:50)

Change its path away from Earth.

A (26:55)

Exactly. Just like how the asteroid's core or center was able to pull in all those smashed bits of asteroid.

B (27:03)

Okay, let me just make sure I've got this straight. So you're saying that a large object next to the asteroid could use its gravitational pull to pull the asteroid away from Earth?

A (27:17)

Correctamundo. If only we had a large enough object. Ah.

B (27:22)

Guy Raz.

A (27:24)

Yeah?

B (27:25)

Forgetting something.

A (27:28)

Eh. What? Eh, Eh. Huh? Of course. The expando pump. Mindy, that's brilliant. If we keep expanding the wow Machine, we might be able to make it big enough for its gravitational field to pull this asteroid out of the way of Earth.

B (27:48)

That's the plan. Now, you want to give me a hand here?

A (27:51)

Sure thing, Mindy.

B (27:52)

And pump. And pump. And pump. And pump. And pump. And pump. And pump.

C (28:02)

Whoa.

A (28:03)

Whoa. Mindy, take a look at the asteroid. Now, it looks about 10 times smaller.

B (28:08)

Than it was before, but again, it's just that we here in the wow Machine have gotten bigger.

A (28:14)

Right.

B (28:15)

Okay, now all we need to do is get close enough to the asteroid for it to get caught in our gravitational field. Now, let me just grab the steering wheel here.

A (28:27)

Mindy, is that steering wheel from a pirate ship?

B (28:30)

Mm. What now? Let's get that asteroid. Easy. Easy does it. Okay, that should be cool. Close enough.

A (28:46)

Well, now what do we do, Mindy?

B (28:48)

Now we slowly drag this big old hunk of rock out of harm's way.

A (28:59)

Say, how long does this usually take, Mindy?

B (29:02)

A couple of months.

A (29:04)

A couple of months?

B (29:06)

Yeah. Our gravitational pull isn't that strong, but over a long enough period of time, we should be able to drag this thing out of the way.

A (29:14)

Mindy, can't we just use the fast forward button again?

B (29:18)

Oh, yeah. I always forget about that thing. Hold tight. And that should do it.

A (29:30)

Look, Mindy, it's working. That asteroid's going to miss Earth by a long shot.

B (29:35)

Oh, yeah. Didn't doubt it for a second.

A (29:38)

So, do you think we can head back to the theater now? I know it may not be completely scientifically accurate, but I heard the final Doub Dance number, and Armageddon the Musical is out of this world.

B (29:51)

I see what you did there, Guy Raz. Out of this world. All right, let's get ready to head on back. Locking in the coordinates. Here we.

A (30:17)

Nice landing, Mindy. Those giant bouncy castles you attach to the front bumper really helps to soften the landing.

B (30:24)

Thanks, buddy. Now let's get out of here. Opening the hatch.

A (30:32)

Uh, Mindy, you landed us right in the middle of the stage during the final number.

B (30:42)

Everyone thinks it's part of the show.

A (30:45)

Mindy, what do we do now?

B (30:47)

Just smile and wave. Just smile and wave. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank. Oh, you're too kind. Too much.

C (31:03)

Reggie, how could you? You had tickets to Armageddon, the musical, and you didn't take me, your most theatrical friend in the world. Nuh. I don't always try to climb up on stage and start singing, and then the ushers have to throw me out. And then I have to sneak back in through the stage door and try to convince the security guard I'm a member of the show and that I'm very late for my big entrance. I will never forget this, Reggie. Never. Never, ever, ever, never. Oh, look, Goldie Bob's back. Looks like she's headed for a fish ball.

A (31:37)

And.

C (31:39)

Perfect landing. Yay, Goldiebug. How was your adventure, Goldiebob? You snooped on people from your submarine. Oh, I'm so proud of you, my sneaky little fishy fish. Ooh, and you found some new Snoop spots. Show me, show me, show me, show me. Yay. Let's go. Right, right, right. Let's wrap up the show first. Thanks to all you listeners out there for tuning in to Wee Wow on the weekend. If you have a question for me, call and leave me a message at 1-888-7-WOW-WOW. That's 1-888-7-WWOW. I just might answer your question on Wee Wow on the weekend. Okay. Should we do the goodbye song? Here we go.

B (32:30)

Ahem.

C (32:32)

That's the end of the of the show. I need to go and become a super snoop duo with my goldfish, Goldie Bob, but I'll do another show tomorrow. But for now, it's the end of the show me. Bye.

B (32:58)

Grown ups. If you like wow in the world, you can listen early and ad free right now on Wonder.

A (33:04)

Join Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Wondery Kids plus on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.

B (33:14)

And before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey@wondery.com survey.