Todd Talks Parenting And More With Dr. Ted Tripp

Summary

---

Wretched Radio with Todd Friel

Todd Talks Parenting And More With Dr. Ted Tripp

Date: March 31, 2026
Guests: Dr. Ted Tripp (author of "Shepherding a Child’s Heart")

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, Todd Friel sits down with Dr. Ted Tripp, renowned Christian author and parenting expert, for an in-depth and candid conversation. Together, they explore the unique challenges facing Christian parents today, discuss the spiritual and practical aspects of shepherding a child's heart, and grapple with the realities of technology, prodigals, church culture, and parental guilt. Drawing insights from decades of ministry and personal experience, Dr. Tripp offers both warning and gospel hope for families, emphasizing engagement, relationship, and reliance on God’s grace above mere behavioral conformity.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Heart Transformation Over Behavior Modification

(00:17 – 00:30, 05:09, 53:35)

• Todd opens with the central question for Christian parents: mere behavioral conformity is not enough—children need a “transforming encounter with the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

• Dr. Tripp underlines the broader theme of his book: shepherding is not about controlling outward behavior but nurturing the heart, reflecting the care and provision exemplified in Psalm 23.

  “You're raising in your home people that the Bible's very clear about their status. They need to be converted. Not just a conformity of their behavior. They need a transforming encounter with the gospel of Jesus Christ.” — Todd Friel (00:17)

2. The Richness of Language Shaped by Christian Heritage

(03:14 – 05:09)

• They discuss the difficulty of translating Christian concepts—like "shepherding"—into other languages and cultures due to the deep biblical and cultural roots in the English language.

• The conversation highlights how Christian heritage has enriched the nuance and vocabulary available to English speakers.

  “The richness of our language is attributed to the word of God and Christian heritage that has, you know, provided all the nuance that we have in English.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (05:11)

3. Parenting Has Gotten Harder—Technology’s Unique Challenges

(06:29 – 08:31, 15:21 – 17:06, 24:02 – 25:42)

• Dr. Tripp emphatically states: “It's so much harder. Why? Technology.” (06:35)

• Discussion on how intuitive tech use by children is often mistaken for maturity—parents wrongly assume kids are ready to handle online dangers.

• Kids’ social, emotional, and spiritual formation is being shaped heavily by their digital environment.

• Practical warning: giving a child a device without clear boundaries is like handing them the keys to danger.

• The difference between ownership and stewardship: parents should view a child's phone as theirs, on their plan, with conditions for use (24:13).

  “We make the mistake of confusing the child's intuitive ability to use the technology with being ready for the technology.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (07:18)

  “When you give a phone to a kid, I think that you never give a phone to a kid... you say, I have a phone. It's on my plan. It's my phone. And since it's my phone, I have the password and I will let you use the phone...” — Dr. Ted Tripp (24:15)

4. The Scourge of Pornography and Church Confusion

(08:31 – 11:10)

• Todd and Dr. Tripp exchange observations about the epidemic accessibility and consumption of pornography, not just among kids but parents (especially Christian men).

• They outline the spiritual and relational destruction wrought by exposure to porn, and criticize churches that try to justify its use within marriage.

  “Unless somebody has the Holy Spirit inside of them, giving them power, most men are powerless.” — Todd Friel (09:02)

  “There’s no lawful way to be a consumer of pornography. That's an appetite that's going to have to be crucified.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (10:17)

5. Prodigal Kids: Why So Many Walk Away

(17:52 – 22:36, 29:48 – 33:56)

• Todd describes an “unspoken scourge” in the church: kids who leave home and sever ties with their Christian parents.

• Dr. Tripp cites disengaged parenting as a root cause—when parents, Christian or not, become absorbed in their own lives and disconnect, children are left to pursue other influences.

• The prodigal’s journey typically begins well before they leave home—often in early adolescence.

  “Parents disengage. Christian parents disengage. They're so busy with their own stuff... So the kids have already, by the time they're, you know, 10, 12 years old, they're already gravitating toward interest and activities that the parents are not engaged in or clueless about.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (20:23)

6. Social Pressures, the Search for Identity & the Internet

(21:22 – 22:48)

• Dr. Tripp discusses the Internet’s role in fueling issues like transgender identification, emphasizing that affirmation can be found online in ways unavailable at home.

• These social dynamics are abetted by disengaged parenting and families open to all cultural trends.

  “As soon as you go online as trans, you suddenly have incredible amount of affirmation...So a lot of these girls, statistically, are from families where the parents are well educated, open to the whole transgender [scene]...kids are looking for identity and affirmation.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (22:36)

7. Engagement, Engagement, Engagement

(37:24 – 39:02, 40:05)

• Dr. Tripp’s repeated central recommendation: be present and engaged.

• Influence, rather than mere authority, is cultivated through shared activities, genuine interest, and relational presence.

  “Influence is more positive, more powerful than authority. You can accomplish much more with influence...you cultivate that throughout their whole life.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (37:25)

8. Practical Boundaries for Technology

(24:36 – 35:19)

• No smartphones for young children; if necessary for safety, use basic phones (e.g. flip phones).

• Set explicit boundaries on device use, especially during times that build family relationships (e.g. meals).

• Model healthy boundaries: parents must also put away their devices.

  “One of the things that's not appropriate use of the phone is we don't get it out when we're having a family meal together. But dad doesn't get his out either...” — Dr. Ted Tripp (35:17)

9. Parental Guilt and Gospel Hope

(44:11 – 54:24)

• Todd asks how to balance warning children against sin with hope in Christ as advocate.

• Dr. Tripp affirms parents should offer the gospel, not just rules or law—children must know there is grace and hope for repentance after failure.

  “It's not giving kids a pass, it's giving them hope. There's some place for me to go with my failure.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (45:54)
  “We want to continue trying to shepherd [our children] because I need shepherding too.” — Todd Friel (53:17)

• For parents weighed down with regret and feeling “it’s too late,” Dr. Tripp points to the theme of his wife Margie’s book, “It’s Not Too Late”:

  • No parent can guarantee salvation but can always hope in, pray to, and trust God; the story isn’t over until the end.
  • God’s grace is sufficient—parents are to remain faithful, engaged, and prayerful, leaving results in God’s hands, even if they never see them this side of heaven (49:56).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the English Language and Shepherding:
  “Shepherding a child's heart...we import Psalm 23. Care, provision, nurture, protection, sustenance...it has meaning for us. [Other languages] can't insert a single word for that.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (04:22)

• On Parenting and Technology:
  “It's so much harder. Why? Technology.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (06:35)
  “You never give a phone to a kid...I have a phone, it’s my phone...you can use it under these conditions.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (24:13)

• On Church Culture and Pornography:
  “There are some churches now that will tell a couple if it enhances the bedroom, it’s OK...What bible are they reading?” — Todd Friel (10:42)

• On Engagement and Influence:
  “You want to cultivate a relationship that gives you influence in the lives of your child because influence is more positive, more powerful than authority.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (37:25)

• On Prodigal Children:
  “They start when they are teenagers. They're not waiting to leave; they're clocking out already.” — Todd Friel (19:11)

• On Parental Guilt and Hope:
  “It's not too late. It's never too late...God’s grace is always present and we can trust God to work through his word, through his truth in the lives of our kids...” — Dr. Ted Tripp (48:28)
  “The hope for us, Todd, is that there's that gift. It's the grace of God.” — Dr. Ted Tripp (54:24)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:17 – The biblical priority: conversion, not just conformity
• 03:14 – The nuances of language and Christian heritage
• 06:35 – Has parenting gotten harder? “Technology.”
• 08:31 – The impact of pornography (in church and culture)
• 15:21 – Social pressure, devices, and lack of parental boundaries
• 17:52 – The “prodigal child” phenomenon and disengagement
• 21:22 – Internet-fueled identity struggles (esp. gender dysphoria)
• 24:13 – “Never give a phone to a kid”—practical tech boundaries
• 29:48 – Finding the balance between rules and shepherding
• 37:24 – Engagement and the power of influence
• 44:11 – Guilt, repentance, and Christ as advocate
• 48:28 – Gospel hope: “It’s not too late”
• 53:17 – Shepherding, not simply modifying behavior

---

Episode Takeaways

• Engagement, not just authority, is key: cultivate true relational influence.
• Modern parenting is harder due to technology and relentless secular social pressure.
• The heart of Christian parenting is about guiding children to the gospel and shepherding their hearts, not just conforming behavior.
• Grace is available for parents and children who fail—there is always hope; it’s never too late.
• Influence trumps enforcement: a family culture of shared interest, fun, transparency, and honesty builds spiritual resilience and keeps lines open for the gospel.

---

For parents feeling discouraged or defeated: you cannot guarantee your children’s salvation, but you can continually seek their hearts, offer them the hope of Christ, and trust the power and timing of God’s grace. The work is hard, but it’s never too late to start again.

Transcript

[Todd Friel]

Wretched radio begins in 3, 2, 1.

[Jimmy Hicks]

To convince a child to keep walking, try switching roles with them. Let the child play the role of the parent. They'll immediately do what you want them to do.

[Todd (interviewer)]

You are raising in your home people that the Bible's very clear about their status. They need to be converted. Not just a conformity of their behavior. They need a transforming encounter with the gospel of Jesus Christ. That is the ultimate priority.

[Todd Friel]

It's time for Wretched Radio with Todd Friel.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Welcome in to Wretched Radio Today. I'm Jimmy Hicks. I'm not Todd Friel, but we're going to hear from Todd Friel in just a moment. Doing something a little different today. Todd sat down with Dr. Ted Tripp. If you're a parent, more than likely you've heard of his book. You probably own it, Shepherding a Child's Heart. There's been over a million copies in print, translated into dozens of languages. And they sat down and. And had a conversation over a meal.

[Todd (interviewer)]

So, Ted, can I call you Dr. Tripp?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

How about, Ted, can I call you Dr. Friel?

[Todd (interviewer)]

I need to begin by apologizing to you because I was hoping you would.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

But why?

[Todd (interviewer)]

You didn't get the memo that we were going to a fancy place? Your brother would have dressed up for this.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yes, he would have. But he's much more cultured than I am.

[Todd (interviewer)]

He's like a dapper dude, isn't he?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Oh, man. He's a clothes horse. You know, I just never.

[Todd (interviewer)]

But is this like a genetic thing?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah, yeah. My sister has three of them on her back. It's one of those things that, you know, that's your mutation.

[Todd (interviewer)]

That's actually good news because I heard it was four, so maybe she had some laser thing.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Okay, cool. The parenting thing, you're still doing that?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I am. I'm doing a lot of stuff on parenting, a lot of seminars.

[Todd (interviewer)]

How long have you been studying and talking about parenting, though?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Well, the first series I ever did on parenting was in 1976.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Wow.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

So that was in the church that I started to serve as a pastor in 1980. But. So that. But the stuff from shepherd of Child's Heart, I started doing in 94, actually, before the book was published.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Your book is called, huh.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Shepherding the Child's Heart. Never heard of it.

[Todd (interviewer)]

I thought it was the Purpose Driven Life. How did I get that confused?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I don't know, but I wish it was a Purpose Driven Life. I just stole a lot more copies. Okay.

[Todd (interviewer)]

But. Okay. Sorry to ask you to disclose this. But shepherd and Town's Heart, they sold a lot of copies.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah, I was talking to Shepherd Press about that last week. They said, think maybe around 1.2 million in English.

[Todd (interviewer)]

That's outstanding.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

It's been translated into 37 other languages. So some weird languages you wouldn't imagine. Macedonian, you know. Yeah, but.

[Todd (interviewer)]

But some brother or sister, they read it over there and they want their people to have it.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Exactly.

[Todd (interviewer)]

But they do the transl. And you would know it. They might be saying, beat your kids with a rock three times a day. And you would know.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Well, actually, even word. You know, English is such an amazing language because we have such incredible nuance. Like, you know, for example, you know, we have the term spanking in American English. In Australia they say smacking. But in English, we're so blessed to have such great nuance with so many ways of saying things. Even when you talk about the awesomeness, we have such rich vocabulary that doesn't exist in other languages. Margie and I were in Japan, November of 19, and she was teaching about God's glories. And the translator was saying, I don't

[Todd (interviewer)]

know what to say.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah, I mean, after I have one word, there are no extra words.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Okay, so let me tell you why I suspect that might be the case. Because the English language, really, you could fairly say, was codified by William Tyndale and his translation of the Bible because of the heritage of Christian writing, Christian language, Christian scholars, that it's pervaded our society, but it hasn't in Macedonia.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah, well, absolutely. You're absolutely right. You know, like, for example, even the title of the book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, we import. And English speakers import into that. Psalm 23.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Yes.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Care provision, nurture, protection, sustenance. That's what shepherd does. So it has meaning for us. When we were speaking again to go to Japan, we were speaking in Japan. There is no corresponding word that conveys that idea of gentle, nurturing, caring, protection and care. There's not a single word that can be inserted in the place of shepherding. So you're very right. The richness of our language is attributed to.

[Todd (interviewer)]

It's gotta be the Christian heritage, the

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

word of God and Christian heritage that has, you know, provide all the nuance that we have in English. So it's such a rich language like Greek. I mean, coordinate Greek is like. That has such a rich vocabulary and massive vocabulary. That's one of the challenges for non English speakers. Learning English is incredible range of words.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Not only that, our rules are like somebody threw them in A blender. And just. We.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah.

[Todd (interviewer)]

And today, by the way. So you're a writer and you are heading up Shepherd Press, the Help series, all of those great books. You can now begin a sentence with a conjunction. But. Or. And. And you can end a sentence with a preposition and you can split your infinitives. How do you feel about that?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Well, I have trouble ending this sentence with a preposition just because I am 75 years old.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Really?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah. And I was taught not to do that.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Exactly. And that's the way it should remain.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah. And I have trouble splitting infinitives, although I do that sometimes and I catch myself and I think, I can't believe I did that.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Okay, so 76, that would be 86. 96. 2016. So I go over 40 years.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah.

[Todd (interviewer)]

In your opinion, has parenting gotten harder, easier, or stayed the same?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Oh my goodness, it's so much harder. Why? Technology.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Yeah, I know it.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I raised kids in the pre Internet era. I mean, we had video games our kids played that were this old paddle and a ball bounces like watching cabbage grow. The kids were getting disinterested in it just because this is boring.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Right.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

You know, and you know, we, the phones were attached to the wall and so when you, you call a place and hope the person you wanted to talk to was at the place you called. Now you don't call a place, you call a person.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Right.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

And you know, so I think telephones, the ubiquity of, of Internet connectivity, the, all the screens, we, the incredible distractions of all of the technology, all are incredibly challenging to parents. And I think the huge mistake that parents make that I'm always railing about when I'm doing the seminars is we make the mistake of confusing the child's intuitive ability to use the technology with being ready for the technology. You know, it's like my five year old grandson, he, he can get on the bicycle, he can turn the crank, he can pedal it, he can stop, start, steer. But he's not ready to drive across town to grandma's house because there are dangers on the road that he's not ready to navigate. And he will be someday, but he's not ready now. And parents so often just put technology in the hands of their kids without any thought or preparation. And then inevitably it takes over, it becomes intrusive into the child's life. The parents see it's out of hand in the position of dialing it back. It's a very difficult thing to do because kids are going to regard that as an act of hostility toward them. So I think that the Internet has made things much harder and parents are not thoughtful enough.

[Todd (interviewer)]

But you know what I would actually say, not only are most kids not ready to drive crosstown to grandma's house with their technology, most parents aren't. Most parents aren't either. Take a guess. Pornography consumption. We'll just stick with men. But women are starting to catch up. What percentage of a American males? That includes the church. American males regularly watches porn?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I guess. I would probably guess 75, 80%.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Okay.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Is that close?

[Todd (interviewer)]

You know, yeah. I would actually be willing to go even higher to end of the 90s because I don't believe that unless somebody has the Holy Spirit inside of them giving them power, most men are powerless. The only thing that might curb it. Society doesn't care anymore. Would be any potential sense of. It could wreck stuff if my wife and kids found out. But for the most part, I don't think most unregenerated men have the strength, the skills or the power to resist

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

it unless it's just something they're not interested in. For some. Okay, right. There may be some percentage of men like that, but probably not.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Let me know when you meet one.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Well, I think, you know, the danger too for our kids is that boys that get into porn awaken appetites and desires that can never be fulfilled in the law of God for a human being. Because your wife can never be that person that exists for you to use sexually. You try to do that in marriage and destroy her, destroy yours, it's destructive, so you can't do that. So you have appetites and desires that are going to have to be crucified. They cannot be fulfilled because they're in essence so destructive. And you know, for eating, I mean, I can eat in ways that are unlawful where I overeat, but they're lawful ways to eat. I can feed those appetites in ways that are appropriate. But there's no lawful way to be a consumer of pornography. That's an appetite that's going to have to be.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Then you aren't visiting the right churches because there are some churches now that will tell a couple if it enhances the bedroom, it's okay as long as it's husband and wife watching it together. What bible are the message? They're probably just reading the message because I think they missed something about the fall and nudity and why we do this thing in privacy and the whole

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

idea of, you know, 1st Thessalonians 4, that you maintain your body in a way that is holy and honorable and not passionate lust like the heathen who do not know God. I mean, that's what Paul says, you know, and anyone who ignores this teaching ignores God who has given you his holy spirit. That's pretty straightforward.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Parenting, technology, pornography, and what the church has gotten badly wrong. Todd is talking with Dr. Ted Tripp today and they're just getting started. More of their conversation next on Wretched Radio. Most men don't make one big decision that takes them off course. No, it happens gradually and eventually you look up and you realize, I've been coasting for years. Dr. Adam Tyson has created Walk Like a Man. It's available now on Fortis Plus. Dr. Tyson knows that's the story for way too many guys right now. And so he gets into God's word and he lays out what it actually looks like to walk with wisdom and live with real conviction. And the way he teaches it, you'll walk away from every episode knowing exactly what to do and why it matters. This is biblical teaching that puts solid ground under your feet and gives you a clear path forward. It's streaming right now with new episodes dropping every Monday on Fortis for free. Download the Fortis app right now wherever you download apps on your smartphone, your smart TV, or just go to fortisplus.org and walk like a man.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Is it possible a Christian university can actually be ranked high when it comes to preparing students for the real world? The hat tip to Masters University. You want to send your kids someplace where they actually still teach the Bible, not just based on a document that they may be having a file cabinet someplace, but they actually use the Bible there. The education at the Master's university, not only biblical but oh so practical courses, diplomas, degrees, they can be achieved online or of course on their beautiful campus in Southern California. Would you like to learn more about the Master's university to prepare you or your child for the future, I encourage you to visit Masters. Edu Wretched Masters Edu Wretched.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Thanks for listening to Wretched radio today. You know, there's no shortage of voices telling women how to handle anxiety, how to navigate relationships, how to find their identity. Honestly, most of it sounds pretty good until you realize it's just self help slapped with Bible verses. That's not the same thing as Biblical wisdom. And that's why we at Fortis Institute present to you the Better Way with Libby Glossin. Libby is an A CBC certified Biblical Counselor and she's not just interested in giving you a coping strategies. Libby's desire is to take you to Scripture and show you what God actually says about the things you're actually walking through. And this is the kind of content our gospel partners are making possible. If the content we're producing at Fortis Institute has been meaningful to you, I want to ask you to prayerfully consider becoming an ongoing monthly gospel partner. Just go to fortisinstitute.org right now and find out what it would look like for you to be a part of getting content like the Better Way into the hands of women who need it. Wretched Amazing grace, Amazing gospel.

[Todd Friel]

Important dates in Christian history. 1807. The British Parliament votes to abolish the slave trade. Its decision is owing in large part to the tireless efforts of the Christian politician William Wilberforce. Wilberforce's example spurred on abolitionist efforts in America for the next 55 years. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel.

[Jimmy Hicks]

We are back to Wretched Radio. I'm Jimmy Hicks, and we are going back to Todd Friel's conversation with Dr. Ted Tripp.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Mom is busy with a lot of activities, and increasingly the kids these days left to their own devices, with their own devices. It's just. I wouldn't want to. Parenting has gotten very hard.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah. And I think that even for, you know, I mean, even the pressures, kids feel like one of my grandsons, he's in high school. He has a. He's 16. He has a phone, but he doesn't have any cell service. He has a phone just simply because he said, dad, I've got to have a phone in my pocket.

[Todd (interviewer)]

I'm gonna look like a real.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah. So I don't care if I don't have a SIM card in it. At least I have a phone.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Wow.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

You know, but that's the pressure, you know, and. But I think that as parents, the problem is we put this stuff in the hands of our kids without thoughtfulness. And I think that's one of the things that I'm always talking about in seminars, is that you've got to think through. You know, for example, gonna buy kids an Xbox. I think it'd be fun for them to play video games. If you make that decision, you've got to decide how much video game watching do I think is appropriate. An hour a day, two hours, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. You know what? What is it? Because if I don't. If we haven't decided that before we open the Xbox, you're in trouble. Yeah. You're dead in the water already. It's interesting. Last week, China came out with this edict, no more Than three hours a week of video games. Yeah. Because they're recognizing that this is dangerous to their society.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Don't you hate it when the communists figure something out?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

What's crazy is all the tech industry in China, the stock went down the next day. Because of course this is going to hurt our business.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Of course, the other, the other China mandate, I mean, not the mandates apparently are bad because we're getting our own gear.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah.

[Todd (interviewer)]

But it was something like these. I'm translating from Chinese, the boy culture.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Done.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah.

[Todd (interviewer)]

They don't want their boys being exposed to that.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Right, right.

[Todd (interviewer)]

No, which is. They get it.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah. It'll be very interesting. I thought as soon as I heard that, I thought it'll be interesting to see how that reshapes Hollywood. Hollywood presentations. Because Hollywood is so sensitive to the desires and the Chinese Chinese market, because it's such a huge market. I mean, movies are modified.

[Todd (interviewer)]

That's funny.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

To please Beijing.

[Todd (interviewer)]

And I'll tell you what I believe is another scourge besides technology, besides the pornography. This is something that I think is an increasing pandemic, a real one. Kids who grow up in a Christian home, they leave the house and they never look back. They never call mom and dad, they are off to university, they're off to their lives and they cut themselves off from their parents. I think that that is one of the unspoken scourges of the church these days too. Agree or disagree.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I think you're right. I think it's a huge. That's a huge issue.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Wrote a book about it.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah. I talk to parents all the time. We talk to parents all the time who are in exactly that situation. And often parents don't have the tools to know. How do I reach out to my child and re. Establish relationship? What are the ways to do that? Yeah. So Margie wrote a book entitled It's Not Too Late that really is addressed to that. You know, how do you. How do you restore relationship with late teenage young adult kids who have. Who have. Who have walked away?

[Todd (interviewer)]

Well, and let's be honest, they start when they are teenagers. They're not. Wait to leave, they're clocking out. And they wish that their parents weren't a part of their lives long before they leave the house. Right. So let's call this the prodigal son and daughter scourge. The Christian parents are experiencing this. And I think our two subjects are actually linked. Why do you believe so many Christian parents are weeping? Because their kids are goners. Because this isn't the way kids Used to treat their parents. Why are they doing that now?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Well, I think that one of the big problems that happens once kids get to the place where they have enough maturity to manage themselves without constant supervision. So saying school age kids from say 10, 12 on, you know, where they can be in the house alone and they know better and stick their fingers in the wall socket, they know how to put something microwave and feed themselves and all that. Parents disengage. Parents disengage.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Christian parents.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Christian parents disengage. They, they're so busy with their own stuff. They have their own pursuits, their own interests, their own hobbies. They're too busy with making money and, you know, lifestyle choices that they've made that they're, you know, chasing around. And so parents give up on being a nurse. Nurturing, influence, the life of the kids. So the kids have already, they're already, by the time they're, you know, 10, 12 years old, they're already gravitating toward interest and appetites and activities that the parents are not engaged in or clueless about. I've been reading a book recently called Irreversible Reversible Damage. I wish I could remember the author's name. It's about the scourge of transgender girls becoming trans boys.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Right?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

And most of that is Internet driven. It's YouTube driven. You can go to these sites that will tell you how to deceive your parents, how to make them think that you're not understand what you're doing and what you're into. But I think that the parents are clueless about it because parents are so involved in everything else and they are not even aware of what their kids are pursuing or what their kids are doing.

[Todd (interviewer)]

When I first heard this, I thought that a lot of kids, in particular girls wanting to become boys, are doing it for the attention. And at first I thought, that seems unlimited. Would you pretend you're a different gender just to get attention? And the more I thought about it, the more I think it's true. Because of the pressure to be popular these days, the pressure to be important, have as many friends as possible, then maybe you're a little geeky or a little dorky and you have not been chosen first for basketball, that this is the chance to make rabbit. And because mom and dad aren't showing them the attention, they crave it elsewhere.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

And as soon as you go online as trans, you suddenly have incredible amount of affirmation. You suddenly become cease being the wallflower you become. Not after person.

[Todd (interviewer)]

That's right.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

And so A lot of most of these girls, statistically, most of them are from families where the parents are well educated, parents are kind of open to the whole transgender homosexual marriage open, that whole scene. And the kids are looking for a sense of identity and affirmation.

[Todd (interviewer)]

We've traded our kids for fun, wine or wine, the pursuit of things. And the other contributor to this, and this is why I think it's so hard to parent these days. You are so outnumbered. Okay, you do a daily devotion with your kid for 15 minutes. Maybe in some Christian homes, you take them to church, you throw them in the youth group where they probably get nothing more than eat pizza. And these kids are on their phones, they're at school, they're watching media, and they're being pelted perpetually by messages that are contrary to everything biblical. Seriously, for a parent today, what age would you say your kid can have a phone?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Or what level that goes back to what is going to be the proper use of technology? And in terms of your question, when you give a phone to a kid, I think that you never give a phone to a kid.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Wow.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

When you think they're ready for a phone, you say, I have a phone. It's on my plan. It's my phone. And since it's my phone, I have the password and I will let you use the phone. Here are the conditions under which you can use my phone, and if that's acceptable to you, I have a phone of mine you can use. So world of difference between that and saying, here, I bought you an iPhone.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

As soon as I give you that phone. Whose phone is it? It's his phone and I've given the phone away. So I think we've got to be really smart with that. I think that the other challenge to this is that we do have to prepare our kids to live in a connected world.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

They're going to sit at a computer, they're going to have connectivity. They're going to have have to be able to live and maintain personal purity and godly values with access to things. In other words, they know a couple mouse clicks away there's access to all kinds of other stuff. They're going to have to be able to say no to that.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Okay, two things. One, the hint, okay, it's on my land. I've got the passport. They are so intuitive, these machines and the usability. They're just native to this environment. They can get around you and your haston and they can bury things.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I think there's not a fail safe way, but I think there are a lot of things a parent can do.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Your child's cell phone, who actually owns it and why that distinction matters more than you think. Dr. Ted Tripp sitting down and having a conversation with Todd today. Much more still to come. This is Wretched Radio. And it's now time for your daily Fortis news break, a production of Fortis Institute. Well, Belgium just posted a new record. 4,486 people ended their lives through assisted suicide or euthanasia last year, accounting for 4% of all deaths in the country. That's an 18,1500% increase since the practice was legalized. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ledger, an abortion facility in Greensboro, North Carolina is closing its doors for good. A Woman's Choice. That's the name of the place. And it was once the busiest abortion clinic in the Triad region. It will soon stop performing abortions with full closure set for the end of April. North Carolina's 2023 pro life law restricting most abortions after 12 weeks continues to reduce the number of abortions portion statewide. And every clinic that's closed represents lives that now have a chance to begin. Dallas is removing 30 rainbow crosswalks from public roads in compliance with Governor Abbott's directive prohibiting political messaging on Texas roadways. The state's transportation department made it clear that pavement markings exist for traffic control and safety, not ideological signaling. In Ontario, Canada, the education minister has warned school boards to keep graduation ceremonies focused on student achievement, not political activism. This after a school board announced its graduation events would be guided by an anti colonial lens and warned staff that some guests might refuse to stand for the national anthem. In Maryland, Democrats are pushing a bill to put female products in men's bathrooms across all state owned buildings, including including the Ravens Stadium in Oriole Park. The Department of Natural Resources estimates that this would cost $400,000 just for their facilities. At your tax dollars hard at work solving problems that don't even exist. A growing number of American parents are deliberately holding their sons back a grade in middle school. Have you heard about this phenomenon? It's happening. It's definitely going on. And it's not because these kids are struggling academically. It's to give them a physical advantage and edge for high school sports recruiting. There's a lure for that nil money and it's turned reclassifying from a fringe practice into an epidemic. But I don't think that's what invest in your child's future actually means. And in Nebraska, two men who were convicted of the same crimes against the same 15 year old boy receive wildly different sentences from two different judges. One got 30 to 50 years, the other got three. The second judge reportedly told the courtroom when questioned, I am the law. Equal justice apparently depends on which courtroom you walk into. And that wraps up today's Fortis News break. I'm Jimmy Hicks. If you want more, you can download Fortis plus or sign up to become a Fortis Insider for exclusive daily content. Both can be [e-mail] and don't forget, you can also subscribe subscribe to Fortis News on your favorite podcast app in order to get these updates daily. And until tomorrow, go serve your king.

[Todd Friel]

Books of the Bible the book of Joel describes a series of disasters that serve as God's judgment and a warning that an even more severe day of judgment is coming. When you see the power and fury of creation, do not fear nature, but fear him who controls nature. But if God's people will turn to him in repentance, he will be compassionate and rescue them. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel

[Jimmy Hicks]

and we are back here on Wretched Radio. I'm Jimmy Hicks. We're going to continue with Todd and his conversation with Dr. Ted Tripp. Now, the prodigal kid problem. Why so many Christian parents end up watching their kids walk away and what they could have done years earlier.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Where do you find the balance between the stereotype I think we all reject? This is my house. These are my rules. You'll do what you're told. Okay, that's not Christian parenting. But at the same time, it is your host, it is your rules.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

But I think, I think you appeal to your kids and you say to your kids, we love you, we're committed to you. We understand with maturity the temptations that you face. We want to help you as much as we can. And one of the ways we can help you is by having you know that it is appropriate for us to have access to your stuff. And you know, that's we're trying to protect you and serve you so it's not incomplete your face kind of thing. It's not a tough guy, macho thing, but it's really, I'm trying to shepherd you and protect you and, you know, trying to keep the wolf away.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Right now a kid will accept that when they're six, but now they're 16. Is it fair to say that no Christian home and no Christian kid is going to escape this phase of rebellion where it's like you can say it as sweet as you want dad, but I'm really angry at you because I want this. Does every kid have to go through that phase?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I don't think so. I think that some kids will. Will. I don't think it's inevitable because God's spirit can work on our kids, even where they're young, and give them the wisdom to receive our interaction with them and not be chafing against them. We had a really cool demonstration of that in our. One of our grandsons, he. He turned 16. He wanted to drive. You could drive at 16 in Pennsylvania. But his parents felt like he was ready. And I think with good appropriate clause, he was able to embrace that. Didn't really chafe against it. And he was 18 before he got his license. And I think as far as I could tell, both in interacting with him and watching his interaction, interaction with his parents, he seemed to accept the fact that they were trying to serve.

[Todd (interviewer)]

So then this would be the million dollar question, why? What were parents doing up to that point? Because that just doesn't happen. You don't have a conversation. They go, oh, dad, thanks. I've been rebellious and I should be submitting to your authority because you have more wisdom than I can. So what were they doing in advance of that so that he didn't feel that their restrictions were onerous?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I think that they were very engaged. I think they were very engaged. Now, you know, my son and his wife, they do not have a television in their house. The kids are not weird, geeky kids. I know as soon as I say that people are like, oh, yeah, I know that Kira scene.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Homeschool.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

They weren't homeschooled, but I mean, they're very athletic. They played high school football and all that kind of stuff, you know. But the kids were very involved in all this kind of stuff with their parents. And so there was a. The house was an interesting place to be. It was a fun place to. In fact, I was counseling a young man who was a classmate of one of my grandsons who said. He said he's from a single parent home and it's understandable, that whole context, but he said, I would give anything to live in that house. That house is such a cool place. They have so much fun. They're always doing something. I would love to live in that house. So I think that they had engaged him.

[Todd (interviewer)]

I don't know that you can make this decision without being confronted with, but let's just say you're not 75, you're 35. Five. All right? Your kid is 12. Cell phone yes or no?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

No. Unless. Unless there's some extraordinary reason why he might need a phone for safety. Then you can get a flip phone.

[Todd (interviewer)]

That's right.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Get it on ebay. All it does is do numbers. I can't even go in the architecture of the phone and determine what numbers it can receive or make calls to.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Okay, wow, cool.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I got Grandma, Grandpa.

[Todd (interviewer)]

That's it.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

That's it now.

[Todd (interviewer)]

All right, 16.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

It depends on the kid. All right, so in that range, in my mind, I think that you've got to talk about attitudes of heart when I'm teaching. And, you know, when you see a kid beginning to interact with some insight into his own propensities and reflecting some desire to do what is right, even though obviously numbers are perfect and we fail in this place, but you. It's a child you can engage and work with, then I think, yeah, you could begin to, you know, make the considerate. Considerate and put some fences up, you know, determine what's appropriate use of the phone. And one of the things that's not appropriate use of the phone is we don't get it out when we're having a family meal together.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Don't get me started.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

But dad doesn't get his Audi either, because a lot of times Dad's on

[Todd (interviewer)]

the phone like it's crack.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah, yeah.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Just can't stop it.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Oh, it drives me crazy. When I go to a restaurant, I see a couple sitting across from each other. Both of them are looking at their phone and they're saying, in effect, to their other spouse, this is far more interesting and engaging to me than you. Because if you were more interested, I would be talking to you. But I. Booking a ball, you know, they just tell the report what my

[Todd (interviewer)]

wife will say to me. I haven't said anything yet. She's seen it, I've seen it. She just goes, don't, don't. I can't help it. I can't help. And another source of annoyance are in public, the dads, who are oblivious. Mom's doing all the work. She's dealing with the stranger. She's changing the kids. And dad, whether he's on his cell phone or not, just totally unplugged. And then when these kids have these complete meltdowns when they're just screaming for no reason whatsoever, dad is just kind of off in la la land.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Or you say, why don't you do something with this child?

[Todd (interviewer)]

I have in Christian love. That's how I love my neighbor. I help them to behave the way I do. I do Want to talk about prodigal kids though? All right. And this is, this is kind of tricky to work through because you've got, you've got yourself kids who are at home with like teenagers and then you've got yourself the 18, 19, 20 year olds still living at home and then you've got the prodigal kids who are away. So it's kind of what, what you say happen has to be applied to the correct category of these kids. But in general, I want to start before the turbulence begins. And I think I know your answer because you have hinted at it at least four times. What is the best thing a parent can do to not find themselves with a prodigal kid?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I think it's being engaged.

[Todd (interviewer)]

See, I knew it.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Being engaged, you just keep it, you just keep, you've got to be engaged. And, and I think even learning what your kids interests are pursuing with them, any legitimate interests they have, you know, or facilitating the pursuit of legitimate interest, it's relationship stuff. And that relationship stuff I talk about with parents. I say you want to cultivate a relationship that gives you influence in the lives of your child because influence is more positive, more powerful than authority. You can accomplish much more with influence. I mean if I had, if I could tell you the President of the United States never makes a decision without checking with me and he always does what I suggest. If that were true, how much authority would I have? No authority. Because I'm not elected to any office, which influence would I have? If I had the presidents here, I would have great influence. And that's where I want to be with my teenagers. And you cultivate that, you cultivate that throughout their whole life.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Okay, but here's, here's what somebody interested

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

and engaged instead of being off doing your own thing, then here. Cuz they're old enough to take care of themselves.

[Todd (interviewer)]

That's how they categorize what you just said. Oh good. Another helicopter parent. Always doing stuff for their kids, Entertaining the kids. Is that what you're describing?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

No, I'm just rubbing a parent that has the sensitivity to discern what this kid's interests are and the insight to interact with him and engage him and do those things with him, if that's appropriate or facilitate his doing of those things.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Right.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I'm understanding, you know, who he is and what his interests are. I think also, you know, let's, let's trace it. How many kids are into sports and traveling teams and all that kind of stuff. As parents we've got to think about that whole area of influence too. You know, what's the language like of this coach? What kind of values is this coach teaching? Is this coach teaching my kids to praise God for the agility and coordination?

[Todd (interviewer)]

Probably not.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah, exactly. Then I need to question whether or not that's the best choice, you know, for my kids.

[Todd (interviewer)]

You know, in fairness, as we talked about, you know, the kids can get getting bombarded by messages. The way that our current society is set up, it's kind of hard for parents to not be distracted, preoccupied, busy. You have to work from home at 8 o'. Clock. You can get texted if you get busy. So there's a fair amount of pressure on parents to not be that involved with their kids.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

In fairness, I think we have to also be very wise because the range of possibilities for our family to get involved in or members of the family to get involved in is so broad in our culture that, I mean, it's like going to a sporting sport. You go to a sports board that has 53 different entrees, but it's not be good for you to eat a little bit of all of them. You're going to have to make changes, choices, right? Same thing is true with activities. We make choices with our kids and say, okay, or as a family, we can't be involved in this level and all these things because it's going to rob us of stuff that's more important, like the ability to just hang out together.

[Jimmy Hicks]

Man, that's such a powerful line from Dr. Ted Tripp. And if you're a parent, it's worth hearing twice more from Todd's conversation with Dr. Tripp. Coming up next on Wretched. You ever been sitting in a sermon and your pastor drops a Greek word like he actually expects you to know what it means? Well, in the original Greek, the word metanoia, and you're just nodding along like you totally followed that. What if you actually could follow it? Our resource It's Not Greek to Me is a basic Greek primer that teaches you to read your New Testament in the original language. It's not seminary level memorization. It's just enough to understand what your pastor is talking about to get. Get more out of commentaries and footnotes and do your own word studies so you know exactly what God intended to communicate. There's 10 lessons. It's perfect for individuals and families in Sunday school classes and homeschoolers or just anyone preparing for a more serious study down the road. This is the language that God himself chose to write. Your New Testament. And learning it, even the basics, will Change the way you study Scripture. It's not Greek to me. It's streaming for free right now on Fortis Plus. Download the app where you download apps on your smartphone, your smart TV, or just simply go to fortisplus.org ask most Christians what they know about hermeneutics and you'll likely get Herman who That sounds like somebody's uncle. Is that the guy that always comes and just stays quiet in the back of the small group? Hermeneutics is actually the art and science of interpreting scripture and if you don't know how to do it rightly, you're going to read the Bible wrongly. Worse, you're actually going to be an easy target for every false teacher with a podcast and a proof text. Herman, who is basically a master's level education and how to read the Bible correctly and it's condensed into something you can actually finish. You'll learn how to interpret a 2000 year old book in a 21st century world without twisting it into something it was never meant to say. By the end of it, you'll never read Scripture the same way again and you'll never have the wool pulled over your eyes by someone who sounds confident but doesn't know what they're talking about. Herman who it is streaming right now for free on Fortis. Download the app on your smartphone, on your smart tv, or just simply go to Fortis. So we decided to run the gospel through a Focus Groove and they loved the part about love. Then came the notes. Sin sounds a little bit harsh. Hell, well that's a big negative saying Jesus is the only way. That's just intolerant. We thanked them for their time and kept the message. If you're done rounding off the edges, Witness Wednesday here at Wretched Radio will help you share the real gospel. You can listen to your heart's [e-mail].

[Todd Friel]

Titles of Christ in the Bible, Jesus is given many titles that teach us about who he is and what he has done. Jesus is called the Bridegroom. Christians are waiting for Christ's return, which the Book of Revelation describes as the wedding of the Lamb. Christ will come to usher his bride, his church, into eternity with him. This is Wretched Radio with Todd Friel

[Jimmy Hicks]

and we are back here on Wretched Radio. I'm Jimmy Hicks. We are at the final part of Todd's conversation with Dr. Ted Tripp. If you're a parent who's been carrying guilt over things that you didn't do, or maybe what you think you should have done, this Segment's for you.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Okay, counsel me through this. A number of years ago, that Bible verse in first, but if we sin, we have an advocate, Jesus the righteous. And from. You can correct me on this because I took a beating for it on the Internet. It was. I said, you need to have a repentance plan for your kid to let them know, look, we don't want you to be doing drugs underneath the bleachers, but should you ever sin, don't forget you have an advocate, Jesus the righteous. And I was kind of taken to task for that because it sounded like, all right, we don't want you to have sex, but if you do, here's a prophylactic device. I thought I was just quoting John to let our kids know, hey, you're gonna sin. Don't forget you have an advocate, Jesus, that righteous. I was scolded for that. Who is right?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Well, I think that is true. I think it is. I agree with you. I think that the advocacy of Christ is it. That's an offer, a free offer of the gospel, that there's a place for me to go with my sin. And if I go to Christ, if I confess my sin as Christians, John 1:9 says, and I go to Christ as 2:1 says, he is an advocate who speaks to the Father. My defense, I think that that is absolutely true. And it's not giving kids a pass, it's giving them hope. There's some place for me to go with my failure.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Right.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

And as parents, we want to be modeling that all the time. We're raising our kids. The dad had someone that's going to God all the time, this failure. And I have to repent again and again throughout the day.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Right.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

And even at the end of the day, there are things that I haven't repented of, that I should have repented of, that I was blind to or that God in mercy, didn't fully expose to me. Because if God fully exposed you all your wickedness in a single moment, you couldn't live under the weight of it.

[Todd (interviewer)]

I would want to be on the backside of the moon.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah, you. You wouldn't be able to live under the weight of it. His mercy, he mirrors it to us.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

A little bit at a time.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Because it can feel like, well, you know, we don't want them to do that thing. And by telling them there's forgiveness, even if they do that thing, we're giving them a pass. We're giving them a pass. And I think to myself, no, we're giving them the gospel. We're showing them how this thing works. So I, I kind of stick with that.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I think that's, I, I mean, I think that applies to a lot of areas with our kids, you know, of those besetting sins. And one of the things I used to talk to my boys about, you know, when they were young, young teenagers, is about the temptations and masturbation, all that kind of sexual fantasy and all that sort of thing. So I would talk about the dangers of that and endeavoring to persuade them that it was wrong. But I always made part of that conversation helping them to know when you go, when you fail.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Right.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Because otherwise, if you're really persuaded that this is dangerous and reprehensible inside of God and you don't know where to go with it.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Right.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Then, you know, so I think you have to do both. I think with a lot of areas with our kids in our livestreams, they

[Todd (interviewer)]

probably just go more inside and deeper down the spiral.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Right, right.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Because they don't know how to go.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

There's no hope.

[Todd (interviewer)]

So to me, that's kind of an example of what you've been banging away at since 1976. Shepherd your kid, don't simply discipline them. Don't do behavioral modification, parents, everything that shepherd your child's heart. And so to conclude this, I want you to springboard off of the title of your wife's book for those who might now be going, oh boy, I have so blown it. It's too far gone. You and snake.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah, it's not too late. It's never too late that, you know, that title actually came from conversations that Margie had with people who said, it's too late for me. I've blown it. I haven't been the parent I wanted to be. They're full of guilt, true guilt, because they have sinned. They're heaping additional guilt on themselves because they're prideful, self righteous, I should know better. Which is all about pride. So I, not only do I sin, I sinned against light. I'm such a slob. And so they conclude it's too late. And the purpose of her book was to say it's not, it's not too late. It's God's grace is always present and we can trust God to work through his word, through his truth in the lives of our kids so that we never give up. And you never know. You know, God doesn't work on our times scale. We know of a lady who prayed for her son, her son's salvation for 57 years. He died after her death, he came to faith in Christ. She never saw the answer to her prayer in this life.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Right?

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

But God did answer her prayer. It's never too late. So as long as this child is alive, there's hope. And our hope is not in our ability to persuade them or to win them or hold us in the power of the God and the power of grace of God. That God's word is self authenticating. It's powerful. God works through his word. I can't save my kids. I can't reach aside and flip a scripture, make them believe regardless of their age. It's not in my power to usher them into the kingdom. But I know the King. And I can beseech the King and I can endeavor to be a faithful subject of the King and in every way that I can and trust God to do what I cannot do. And if God is pleased and do it, he will save them. And if he's not, and this I think is the hardest thing for us to get a hold of as parents. One day in heaven, we will so delight in the fact that glory has been gotten to God both through the street salvation of sinners and the eternal damnation of the wicked, that we will find joy in God, in whatever he has done, even with those who are the most precious to us. Because the greater glory of God will be larger in our vision than our own empathy and sorrow that focuses on us. And it's hard.

[Todd (interviewer)]

I don't, I don't. I don't think we're going to be able. I think that is truth. I don't think we're going to fully get that until we're there.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

I think you're right.

[Todd (interviewer)]

I just, that's. That to me is understanding God at a level I don't know that we can grasp. I mean, I think we can say it pretty glibly, but, you know, thinking about your child in hell for eternity.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah. My mother. Oh, my mother used to say if God's going to wipe all the tears from our eyes, he's got to wipe the memory of my kids from my eyes, you know, if my kids are not there. But I do think that, you know, heaven will be a place of perfect reconciliation between us and the eternal plan and purpose of God, which is designed for his glory, we will so find joy in his glory. Like you say, I can say that more than enter into it, but I think that that's where we will find joy. Just like in heaven. When I see that you are actually closer to Christ than I am, I will love you so much. I'll find joy in your joy in Christ.

[Todd (interviewer)]

Well, even though your let's be honest

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

here, I think wherever we find ourselves on those scales, we will so love that other person. We will find joy in the fact. I kiss love him so much. I'm glad that he has a closer relationship.

[Todd (interviewer)]

And maybe that too is the note that we need to remember. We want our kid to experience that joy. And therefore I need to be working on shepherding my child's heart as opposed to behavioral modification because what doesn't profit a parent if his kid is well behaved but dies and doesn't experience the joys of heaven? That really needs to be the note that just keeps us going to our kids with tender hearts to go, I'm sorry, I've blown it. I want to continue trying to shepherd you because I need shepherding too. So without that it's impossible to do what you're describing.

[Dr. Ted Tripp]

Yeah, well, thankfully we have been given everything we need for life and godliness through knowing him follows by his own glory and goodness. It's such an amazing passage because it's not even a promise in a sense. It's a past Protestant. For us, God has done something, has given us. We've already been given all the insight, the courage, the grace, the humility. Everything we need to for life and godliness has been given to us in Christ. And it's given us its first great precious promises so that then we might participate in the divine nature, escape the corruption of this world caused by evil desires. The hope for us, ton, is that there's that gift. It's the grace of God.

[Jimmy Hicks]

It's not too late. And that is a significant word from Dr. Ted Tripp. You know you can't flip a switch and save your kids. You never could. But you know the king and you can go to the king and you can continue to show up with a tender heart and an open Bible and do the work that Christ has equipped you to do. Dr. Ted Tripp, author of Shepherding a Child's Heart, sat down with Todd Friel today on Wretched Radio. And it was a fruitful conversation. And until tomorrow, go serve your king.