WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1656: Mariska Hargitay
Release Date: June 30, 2025
In this deeply personal and emotionally charged episode, comedian and podcaster Marc Maron engages in a profound conversation with Mariska Hargitay, best known for her role as Olivia Benson on "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (SVU). The discussion delves into Mariska's latest endeavor—a heartfelt HBO documentary titled "My Mom Jane", which explores her relationship with her late mother, Jane Mansfield, and the complex family dynamics that ensued following a tragic car accident.
Introduction to My Mom Jane
Marc Maron sets the stage by introducing Mariska Hargitay and her groundbreaking documentary. He highlights Mariska's exploration of personal identity and familial revelations, which stem from both surprising discoveries and introspective experiences.
Notable Quote:
"My Mom Jane is about learning who you are through revelations that are either surprising, informational, or through your own aging and experience with your parents."
— Marc Maron [12:00]
The Impact of Personal Trauma
Mariska opens up about her journey dealing with the aftermath of her mother's death in a car accident when she was just a child. She shares how this event led to her father, Mickey Hargitay, compartmentalizing the trauma, which significantly affected the family dynamics.
Notable Quote:
"I feel like I have two fathers, that I have two men that loved me in a paternal way."
— Mariska Hargitay [73:47]
Exploring Therapy and Self-Discovery
The conversation shifts to Mariska's experiences with therapy, including techniques like EMDR and internal family systems. She discusses how these methods helped her integrate different parts of herself, leading to profound personal growth and healing.
Notable Quote:
"Self-parenting is essential. When you honor what the different parts of yourself are saying, they calm down."
— Mariska Hargitay [24:53]
Uncovering Family Secrets
Mariska recounts the discovery of letters and fan mail that revealed her existence to her biological father, Nelson Sardelli. This revelation sparked a five-year journey of identity crisis, culminating in meeting him and understanding his reasons for staying distant.
Notable Quote:
"Everything has been reframed for me. I understand him, and I'm grateful for that."
— Mariska Hargitay [70:43]
The Dichotomy of Her Upbringing
Mariska reflects on the contrasting influences of her father and stepmother. While her father embodied stability and determination, her stepmother represented strict social mores and presentational etiquette, creating a complex emotional landscape for Mariska.
Notable Quote:
"The messaging from my father and from my grandmother were diametrically opposed."
— Mariska Hargitay [42:13]
Legacy and Reclamation
Through "My Mom Jane", Mariska seeks to reclaim her mother's legacy, understanding the cultural and personal struggles Jane faced as an icon. She emphasizes the importance of not confining individuals to societal boxes and honoring their true selves.
Notable Quote:
"This is what I mean about integrating all these pieces… I really excise this [her mother's story]. So to reintegrate her and understand her and love her."
— Mariska Hargitay [38:33]
The Healing Power of Truth
Mariska discusses how uncovering and confronting family truths have been instrumental in her healing process. She highlights the mutual respect and newfound love between her and Nelson Sardelli, underscoring the documentary's role as a love letter to her father.
Notable Quote:
"When Nelson tells you why he made the choice he did, it heals my heart."
— Mariska Hargitay [65:38]
Reflections on Identity and Family
The episode concludes with Mariska sharing her feelings of dual motherhood and fatherhood, appreciating the love and support from both her biological and stepfather. She underscores the universality of her story, hoping it resonates with listeners facing their own familial complexities.
Notable Quote:
"This is a movie about my mom and my family, but I hope that it resonates with everyone because you leave there just thinking about your own family."
— Mariska Hargitay [64:36]
Conclusion
Marc Maron and Mariska Hargitay wrap up their conversation by acknowledging the cathartic journey of creating "My Mom Jane". Mariska expresses gratitude for the understanding and revelations that came from making the documentary, while Marc reflects on the profound human drama that unfolded.
Notable Quote:
"It's so profound that you could find this true, kind of tragic, but elevating human story."
— Marc Maron [74:40]
This episode offers listeners an intimate glimpse into Mariska Hargitay's personal life, her quest for identity, and the healing power of uncovering and embracing the truth. It underscores the complexities of family relationships and the enduring impact of parental love and sacrifice.