We Have Ways of Making You Talk – “A Blackmarket Christmas” (Dec 23, 2025) Hosted by Al Murray & James Holland
Episode Overview
With their signature mix of historical insight and good-humored storytelling, Al Murray and James Holland celebrate a festive edition of “Family Stories”. In this episode, listeners' personal accounts take center stage, delving into Christmases spent in the shadows of World War II, brushes with the black market, family reunions, frontline experiences, and the quiet heroics of both homefront and battlefield. This collection of vignettes explores the full spectrum of wartime memories—some humorous, some harrowing, all deeply human—and honors the ordinary people whose stories often go untold.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The True Meaning of a War-Time Christmas (04:00–05:39)
- Frank Sr.'s Blackmarket Oranges: Listener Robert Horn recounts how his grandfather stumbled across a crate of blackmarket oranges in the hedgerow, providing his family with an unexpected and rare Christmas treat during the war’s rationing.
- Insight: Illustrates both the ingenuity and desperation bred by rationing, as well as how small luxuries could transform the hardest of times.
“[Frank] saw the passenger get out of the car and take something out of the boot and leave it hidden in the hedgerow... there, hidden in the undergrowth, was a large crate of fresh oranges. Needless to say, the Horne family had a very happy and indeed healthy Christmas that year.”
— Robert Horn's story, read by James Holland (04:38)
2. Arnhem, Paratroopers, and Family Myths (05:39–08:20)
- Damien’s Tale of Two Uncles: A Christmas dinner brings together two uncles who both experienced the Battle of Arnhem from opposite sides of the river, each carrying unique stories—one a Polish paratrooper with tales sanitized for family, the other a self-professed “joker” shuffled from unit to unit.
- Insight: Family legends often obscure as much as they reveal; war experience ranged from heroics to sheer farce.
- Humorous moment: “I was in the back of a lorry for most of the war.”
“Jimmy was always on a charge and the lorry trips were when unit after unit had finally had enough of Jimmy and shipped him onto another unit as quickly as they could.”
— Damien’s family anecdote, read by James Holland (06:22)
3. Across Europe with ‘The Gin Palace’ (08:20–12:57)
- Neil’s Grandfather Sid Walker: From Sunderland to Normandy and Market Garden, Sid’s journey is remembered through his light-hearted stories: accidental liberation of Brussels, the “Gin Palace” truck, and surviving mortar shrapnel.
- Deep reflection on memory: Sid kept the darkest moments to himself, but validated modern portrayals of combat (“Saving Private Ryan”).
- Moving segment: The accidental reunion with a Sherman tank at the Imperial War Museum.
- Homefront: Sid's wife blown through a hedge by a V1 while walking the dog.
“He spotted that [Sherman] tank... He’d followed that tank across Normandy... Here they were, reunited by chance.”
— Neil’s account, read by James Holland (11:15)
4. Goose, Butter, and American Generosity (12:57–17:06)
- John Pilkington’s Multi-Generational Memories: Stories from the Blitz, mechanics in North Africa, blackmarket geese fed on fish scraps, and living next to a US Army base.
- Standout anecdotes: Christmas dinner with a “disgusting” goose, sneaking butter from an American quartermaster, and American misunderstandings with European refugees.
- Family’s war’s emotional toll: Jack, the Times fire marshal, and its effect on postwar lifespans.
“One Christmas he did a deal with petrol coupons and produced an enormous goose... Unfortunately, it had been fed on black market fish and they knew something was wrong as they roasted it. Mum said it was disgusting, but of course they ate up every last morsel.”
— John Pilkington’s story, read by James Holland (13:30)
“The quartermaster returned to a greatly reduced block of butter and then happily cut it in two and gave half to Nana as thanks for use of the fridge.”
— John Pilkington (15:45)
5. Bombs, Fate, and Reunions (18:40–22:23)
- Mike Griffin’s Aircraft Stories: Lunch in Arkansas introduces stories from a B17 navigator whose bomb hit an enemy ammunition dump, later meeting a German survivor—on whom he’d dropped that very bomb. Also, the tale of Doc McLaren, a B26 pilot, recounting the chaos of emergency landings and evacuations.
- Poignant Moment: Realization of shared history between “enemies” decades later.
“Eck replied, I dropped that bomb on you. They compared dates and locations and it was indeed Eck’s squadron over the bridge and dump that very day.”
— Mike Griffin’s extraordinary coincidence, read by James Holland (20:19)
“Motivation is a wonderful thing.”
— Doc McLaren’s reflection on escaping a crashed B26, read by James Holland (21:55)
6. Women in the Shadows: The WAAF Experience (22:23–25:51)
- Chris Wheel’s Mother’s Memoir: A first-person account spanning radar operations, the plotting room during the Cologne raid, and sunbathing on Beachy Head as a doodlebug flies past.
- Notable Insight: Highlights the contributions and camaraderie of the women’s forces.
- Brushes with history: plotting the Dam Busters’ raid, near-miss with a V1 on the cliffs.
“All in all, I enjoyed my service life and have never regretted those four plus years out of my life.”
— Chris Wheel’s mother, read by James Holland (25:36)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “It’s the best thing, coloring in the black and white picture. It’s an amazing thing.” – Al Murray on the importance of ordinary people's stories (25:53)
- “Santa says you should [get a subscription]. Ho, ho, ho.” – Al Murray, tongue-in-cheek (02:37)
Important Segment Timestamps
- 04:00 – Robert Horn’s blackmarket orange story
- 05:39 – Damien’s Arnhem family story
- 08:20 – Neil’s account: “The Gin Palace” and war memories
- 12:57 – John Pilkington’s Christmas goose and family stories
- 18:40 – Mike Griffin’s flying stories and remarkable postwar coincidence
- 22:23 – Chris Wheel’s mother’s WAAF experiences
Tone and Language
- Warm and witty, punctuated by reverence for the past.
- Listeners’ stories are told straightforwardly, often blending nostalgia with humor and humility.
- Al and James offer brief commentary, always emphasizing the value of everyday experiences and unexpected connections.
Summary
This episode of “We Have Ways of Making You Talk” brings to life a tapestry of personal memories—poignant, comedic, and everything in between—revealing the reality of Christmas, family, and fate in WWII. It’s a moving reminder of how the extraordinary and the mundane collide in war, and how history lives on through stories shared across generations.