Yellowjackets 308 - A Normal, Boring Life

Hi! It’s me, Allie. Reunion organizer and the emotional glue of the Yellowjackets—despite what the literal survivors might say. I missed the flight because of a tragic, noble leg injury, but emotionally? I was absolutely there...in spirit. And let me tell you, this episode? An absolute ride. So grab a glass of something red (or a wine spritzer in a travel mug, no judgment) and let’s unpack it.

1997 Timeline: Slurpees and Splits

So the girls are maybe leaving—finally—and everyone’s like, “Let’s go home!” Except Lottie, who’s in her “this forest is my boyfriend” era. I get it. I once thought I had a thing with Joshua Jackson after we were booked on the same morning show—I was supposed to talk about how I wasn’t on the plane, and instead I just kept telling him he was my favorite Mighty Duck. It did not go how I imagined.

Fantasies run wild: Slurpees. Toilets. Pillow-top mattresses. I once tried ayahuasca and hallucinated a Cheesecake Factory hostess telling me I was radiant—same energy.

Van’s in her feelings. Tai's hanging out with her faceless nightmare man again. We all have demons. Mine is Cheryl from spin class. She always books bike 12. I see you, Cheryl.

In the final act, Shauna, Tai, and Lottie say they’re staying. Nat’s like, “Cool, the rest of us are still going.” But Shauna has other ideas. Classic “I love you, but I might shoot you” moment. We’ve all been there. (Not literally. Also: Don’t Google me.)

2021 Timeline: Bite Me, Shauna

Shauna tracks down Melissa—alive, living under a fake name, married to Alex, the daughter of Hannah, the frog scientist they definitely murdered.

Melissa says the tape wasn’t blackmail—it was a therapist-recommended act of emotional closure. Shauna says, “Cool motive, but no,” and then they fight.

Hasn’t Melissa heard of writing a letter and burying it? That’s what I did when my best friend bailed on her own birthday weekend after I booked the Airbnb and she said she wasn’t "ready for that level of celebration.”

Then Shauna bites a chunk out of Melissa’s shoulder. With her mouth. And tries to make her eat it. Melissa is reluctant. I get it, I refuse to try juice cleanses because it reminds me of that week I tried to purge my emotional baggage through cucumber water. This? Trauma-core.

Meanwhile, Jeff hits his emotional wall and tells The Joels Shauna is crazy. Jeff, there are things you say in therapy, and there are things you maybe whisper while refilling your coffee in a hotel breakfast nook.

Callie is processing all of this like someone who will absolutely become an emotionally avoidant adult. Love her. Protect her. Get her a dorm room with a lock and an RA named Janelle.

Tai, meanwhile, tries to smother a dying man to save Van. I’ve done worse for love—mainly involving expired Groupon couples’ massages and a canoe.

Allie’s Key Takeaways:

Wilderness: Winter is Coming.

Melissa is alive. For now. Bite marks don’t lie.

Shauna feels seen. Maybe not in a good way.

Jeff is in his Jeff Era.

Van is fading. Tai is unraveling.

What’s Next?

Is Pit Girl about to ascend via tragic ritual murder? Fingers crossed.

Shauna: Has she ever been hinged?

Will Melissa survive her shoulder appetizer?

Who actually killed Lottie?

Are any of us ever truly leaving the wilderness? Physically, maybe. Emotionally? No.

Listen to this week’s Yellowjackets Buzz with Glenn and Isa, who break down every forest standoff, trauma spiral, and human meat moment in this show that refuses to let us heal.

Available wherever you get your podcasts… or on a burned CD next to your bootleg VCD of The Blair Witch Project, tucked under your bed beside the notebook you swore you burned in 2001.

Email your theories: yellowjacketsbuzz@gmail.com

Follow:

Glenn – @GlennRubenstein

Isa – @NYCDemonD1va

Twitter/X – @YellowjacketsBz

Instagram – @yellowjacketsbuzz

Buzz buzz buzz,

Allie

(Wiskayok Class of ’96/’99, Yellowjacket, Survivor of Everything But the Actual Crash)