Podcast Summary: "349. Finding Yourself with Mindy Peltz"

You Are Not Broken
Host: Dr. Kelly Casperson, MD
Guest: Dr. Mindy Peltz
Date: December 14, 2025

Main Theme

This episode dives deep into the transformative journey of women in midlife and menopause, focusing on identity, mindset, societal conditioning, and the power of self-discovery. Dr. Kelly Casperson and Dr. Mindy Peltz discuss how menopause is not just a biological event but also an opportunity for women to awaken, reclaim agency, and step into a more authentic version of themselves. They highlight the societal challenges, the power of truth-telling, and the crucial role of self-advocacy, all while weaving in practical insights, humor, and their own personal experiences.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reckoning of Midlife and Menopause

• Menopause as an Awakening:
  • Kelly frames midlife as “a reckoning,” acknowledging that for many women, declining hormones cause true suffering—but also herald a chance for reevaluating life:

    “I call it a reckoning...in midlife, you start realizing there's not an infinite amount of years left and that's part of it.” (01:08)

• Societal Conditioning in Women:
  • Mindy references Carol Gilligan’s research on how girls lose touch with their desires in adolescence due to patriarchal conditioning:

    "At 11, she asks that same question. The boy still tells you exactly what he wants...The girl hesitates...By 13, the woman turned to Carol Gilligan and say, I don't know, what are you going to eat?" (01:54)

  • Kelly expands:

    "You're now responsible for everybody's feelings around you, whether they're in the room or in Ohio watching your YouTube." (03:19)

2. Post-Menopausal Power and Societal Fear

• Menopause as Liberation:
  • Mindy describes a critical time where women wake up from adapting to cultural expectations:

    "As our hormones change, I think we start to wake up and we're like, yeah, we don't want to play this game anymore." (04:01)

• Misogyny and The Extinction Bubble:
  • Mindy suggests the current struggle against misogyny is its last gasp:

    “Misogyny is trying to take a hold. It's trying to expand...But I think it's the post-menopausal women that are going to lead us out of this moment.” (04:51)

3. Women’s Health, Hormones, and Self-Advocacy

• Hormones and Assertiveness:
  • Kelly shares a story about a woman on testosterone becoming more assertive and less accommodating:

    "She's behaving less in a way of accommodating their egos. So...is this the real reason why they don't want women to have testosterone?" (05:45)

• Superior Design & Healthcare Bias:
  • Mindy critiques how women’s bodies are handled in culture and medicine:

    “We are Ferraris working in a healthcare system that's a Honda garage.” (06:54)
    “A woman's body is like a sophisticated violin, and a man's body is like a kazoo." (07:26)

4. Menopausal Rage and Emotional Authenticity

• The Meaning of Rage:
  • Mindy challenges listeners to see menopausal rage as an awakening, not just hormone imbalance:

    "Perhaps you woke up and you decided, you know what? I'm tired of playing this game…” (08:30)

• Testosterone & Emotional Clarity:
  • Kelly:

    “Testosterone makes you more of who you are…maybe you have legitimate reasons to be angry...Sounds like you woke up.” (09:25)

5. Depression, Burnout, and True Self-Care

• Self-Reflection and Saying No:
  • Mindy shares personal strategies for aligning life with genuine desires:

    “Every single day, I'd wake up and I'd say...Is this what I want to do? And if it wasn't...I got it off my calendar.” (14:14)

• Practice of Self-Advocacy:
  • Kelly:

    "What do you want? Because we're spending our entire life checking all the data points." (12:50)

6. Personality, Enneagram & Truth-Telling

• Enneagram as a Lens for Growth:
  • Discussion on how one's Enneagram type, especially being an "8", affects advocacy and standing up for oneself:

    "Eights will tell you the truth...One of the things we can use as a model...is truth telling and standing up for what you believe in." (17:36, 18:33)

7. Reclaiming Lost Joy and Identity

• Rediscovering Self after Socialization:
  • Both speakers describe returning to childhood joys and identity:

    Kelly: “What does Kelly like? Does she like short hair? Does she like long hair? Does she want a hand tattoo? ...Who is she? What is she like?” (21:38)

  • Mindy shares stories of reclaiming surfing and playful activities like riding a Big Wheel, previously “taken” due to social expectations:

    “I do love going into the water every day...laughing as much as I can laugh in a day, then that's a good day.” (24:10, 26:12)

8. Generational Shifts and the Power of Community

• Numbers and Impact:
  • Kelly and Mindy stress the growing, powerful ranks of post-menopausal women:

    “We're at a billion postmenopausal women now...This is the beginning of the new world.” (30:28, 31:09) “What would happen if a billion women spoke up and told their truth?” (31:17)

• Advocacy and Action:
  • American women need to be more proactive:

    “Americans are sitting on your ass. You're not doing anything...just do something.” (34:32)

9. Inviting Men into the Conversation

• Constructive Inclusion vs. Blame:
  • Mindy shares methods for positively involving men:

    “We don't shame them, we don't yell at them. We invite them into the process in a loving way and the right men will join us.” (49:17)

• Marriage Evolution:
  • Emphasis on communication, acknowledging that marriage has to evolve with each person’s growth:

    “In marriage 3.0, I don't do that anymore, I do it this way...we have created something new.” (47:43)

10. Sex, Self-Knowledge, and Authenticity

• Sex as Self-Expression:
  • Kelly ties sexual fulfillment to overall self-awareness:

    "Often...we're like, what do you want, woman? What do you want? ...If you don't know what you want...it's like going back to the beginning of this conversation of, like, becoming...figuring out what you want." (53:13)

• Resentment and Desire:
  • Mindy:

    “Resentment in a marriage builds when you say yes when you really wanted to say no...Now I'm just gonna say no so that I stick with my truth.” (54:08)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Patriarchal Conditioning:

  "There's something that happens to us at puberty where our brains start to get hijacked...it's a patriarchal conditioning." —Mindy Peltz (02:40)

• Menopause as Awakening:

  "We wake up in menopause. We wake up and we're like, wait a second. I don't wanna do that for you...I wanna do things differently." —Mindy Peltz (08:30)

• "We're Ferraris in a Honda Garage":

  "We are Ferraris working in a healthcare system that's a Honda garage...Ferraris need Ferrari garages, not Honda garages." —Kelly Casperson (06:54)

• The Power of Authenticity:

  "What we fear is actually the thing that will free us. And we've got to step into that and stop fearing disappointing people." —Mindy Peltz (20:04)

• Generational Power:

  "If a billion women spoke up and told their truth...we could change the way that the world is thinking right now. We are that powerful." —Mindy Peltz (31:09)

• On Resentment and Desire:

  "Resentment in a marriage builds when you say yes when you really wanted to say no." —Julie Gottman (shared by Mindy Peltz) (54:08)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Midlife Reckoning & Patriarchal Conditioning: 01:08 – 04:47
• Societal Challenge & Menopausal Awakening: 04:47 – 06:54
• Healthcare Bias & Hormones: 06:54 – 08:30
• Menopausal Rage & Legitimate Anger: 08:30 – 10:34
• Depression, Advocacy, & Self-Inquiry: 12:10 – 14:14
• Personality Types & Truth-telling: 15:42 – 18:53
• Rediscovering Self & Joy: 21:38 – 26:12
• The Generational Wave & Power of Women: 30:28 – 31:17
• Advocacy, Society Action: 34:32 – 36:00
• Men in Menopause Conversations: 44:45 – 49:17
• Marriage, Authenticity, Change: 49:17 – 52:47
• Sex, Boundaries, and Authenticity: 52:47 – 56:41
• Resentment, Integrity, Low Libido: 56:41 – 57:53
• Books as Conversation Starters: 60:00 – 61:26

Closing Thoughts

• Invitation to Self-Discovery:
  Both speakers urge women to embrace their true selves, reconnect with forgotten joys, set boundaries, and use the transformative power of menopause as a catalyst for authenticity, leadership, and pleasure—both for themselves and as a force for societal change.

• Call to Collective Action:
  The episode ends on the rallying cry: a billion women speaking their truth could transform the world, but it starts with each person living, speaking, and advocating with bold authenticity.

Where to Find More

• Dr. Mindy Peltz's new book: agelikeagirlbook.com
• Dr. Kelly Casperson's resources and masterclasses: kellycaspersonmd.com

Summary compiled and structured true to the original tone and content. For women—and everyone—looking to embrace life after 40 with confidence, clarity, and power, this compelling episode is both a manifesto and a practical roadmap.