356. Midlife Fitness with Autumn Calabrese

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Are Not Broken

Episode 356: Midlife Fitness with Autumn Calabrese
Release Date: February 1, 2026
Host: Dr. Kelly Casperson
Guest: Autumn Calabrese

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Dr. Kelly Casperson sits down with renowned fitness expert Autumn Calabrese to dive deep into the realities of midlife fitness, mindset, stress management, and the unique challenges (and opportunities!) women face as they move through perimenopause and beyond. The duo unpacks what it really takes for women at midlife to build strength, stay warm, recover energy, and—perhaps most importantly—rewire their mindset to thrive in this new life phase. With humor, candor, and a sprinkle of science, they demystify fitness myths, address cultural changes, and share personal stories to encourage listeners: you are not broken.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Fitness in Midlife?

• Physical Warmth & Energy:
  • Kelly and Autumn commiserate about the winter workout struggle and highlight how strength training can literally warm the body—crucial during colder months.
    • “Fitness is the way to not be cold.” (Kelly, 00:43)
• Hormones Aren’t Everything:
  • Dr. Casperson notes that while hormones aid cellular health, they are not the cure-all—mindset and lifestyle adjustments are equally pivotal.
    • “Some people think hormones are all there is… but it’s like, what are your tricks when you’re low to swap out of that...that’s the work.” (Kelly, 07:29)

2. Mindset as the Foundation

• Mindset Before Muscles:
  • Autumn insists that body transformation always begins in the mind. If you change your thinking about health, routines, and self-worth, the body will follow.
    • “The body doesn’t change unless the mind changes, right?” (Autumn, 02:50)
    • “Just saying ‘this is so hard’—you’re telling your body it’s hard, you’re telling your body not to let go.” (Autumn, 05:09)
• Reframing Difficulty:
  • Both agree that catching negative self-talk (“the last five pounds are hard”) and consciously reframing it (“what if this is the easy part?”) is a practical skill.
    • “You don’t realize what your mindset is until you can kind of step out and catch those thoughts.” (Kelly, 04:45)
• Identity & Consistency:
  • Autumn discusses embracing an identity as “a person who exercises” or “someone who eats healthy" as a trick for lasting change.
    • “I am a person who exercises...that’s the lifestyle.” (Autumn, 37:37)

3. Cultural Changes in Women’s Fitness

• The Weight of Trends:
  • Autumn reflects on 22+ years in fitness and how public sentiment swings—from “work out for aesthetics!” to body-positivity to today’s focus on longevity and healthy aging.
    • “All of a sudden, it was almost like you were a bad person if you talked about losing weight...And now I feel like we are swinging out of it.” (Autumn, 15:29)
• The Rise of Strength Training & Pilates:
  • Autumn celebrates the resurgence of weight training and the huge popularity of Pilates, especially for mobility, core, and posture.

4. Stress, Sleep, and the Real Midlife Obstacles

• Underestimated Stress:
  • Autumn shares her personal experience with perimenopause and how chronic stress was her biggest hurdle—even on perfect HRT and nutrition.
    • “For me, stress has always been the major one...I’ve lived in a state of chronic stress.” (Autumn, 07:52)
• Actionable Stress Management:
  • Breathwork, boundaries, and restructured workout routines (emphasizing Pilates and flexibility over constant HIIT) were all part of Autumn’s toolkit.
    • “Breathing and breath work was the number one thing for me that made a big difference…” (Autumn, 11:54)
• Sleep as a Cornerstone:
  • Both agree: lack of quality sleep sabotages everything else (muscle growth, mood, hormones). Simple sleep hygiene—no screens, routine, room ambiance, and breathwork at bedtime—makes a major difference.
    • “Sleep’s everything. If you’re not sleeping, you’ll die. Like, literally you’ll die.” (Kelly, 20:19)
• Kicking the Caffeine & Sleep Aids Cycle:
  • Cutting excess caffeine and reliance on “crutches” like THC gummies or alcohol, though hard for a week or two, yields real improvements in sleep and weight.

5. Sustainable Fitness—Start with Community and Accountability

• Fitness as Routine, Not a Project:
  • Kelly shares her journey: inspired by seeing another physician mom working out consistently, she’s completed over 2,000 workouts since 2017, debunking her own mental blocks (“I’ll work out when I retire” or “I’m not a morning person”).
    • “I caught the bullshit—and my plan was to work out when I retire. When am I going to retire? Probably not for a while…” (Kelly, 29:10)
• Don't Go It Alone—Find Your Group:
  • Accountability groups—even a humble Facebook check-in—keeps motivation strong and builds pride over time.
    • “Turns out I was better at showing up because I knew other people were gonna show up.” (Kelly, 33:59)
• There’s No “Easy”—The Hard is the Point:
  • Both admit: strength training never gets ‘easy’, but your brain gets better at tolerating (even embracing) challenge.
    • “The secret is that it’s always hard to lift weights… but the mindset is, the hard is the point.” (Kelly, 33:07)
    • “What gets easier is being in the discomfort.” (Autumn, 33:31)

6. Strength, Longevity, and Women’s Health

• Muscle = Brain Health:
  • Kelly highlights research showing muscle strength—especially in the legs—is closely tied to lower dementia risk in women.
    • “Leg strength being correlated with risk of dementia...muscle strength is brain health, basically.” (Kelly, 40:33)
    • Autumn shares her own genetic risk for dementia, underscoring the stakes behind this advice.
• Aging Positively:
  • Autumn and Kelly discuss how fitness, sleep, and stress management can compress the “decade of decline” so women spend more years active and independent.
    • “Women live longer, but we live more years in ill health...Let’s tighten that up.” (Kelly, 42:51)

7. Redefining Midlife: Mindset is Everything

• A Stage of Possibility, Not Loss:
  • Both speakers urge listeners to see midlife as an opportunity, not a countdown to decline.
    • “It’s not this sentence of doom and gloom...It really can be coming into the best years of our life.” (Autumn, 43:36)
• If You Don’t Feel Good Now, Trust You Can:
  • Dr. Casperson reassures: “Trust that feeling good is possible and that you’re going to figure out how to get there.” (Kelly, 44:44)
• Motion Heals—Stagnation Hurts:
  • Even brief lapses in movement are quickly felt. Autumn recounts how six days without movement left her in pain, only for the “first workout back” to quickly restore her sense of well-being.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "The body doesn’t change unless the mind changes, right?"
  — Autumn Calabrese, [02:50]
• "Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right."
  — Kelly Casperson referencing mindset wisdom, [06:19]
• "Stress has always been the major one...I live in a state of chronic stress. That is something I have worked very hard [on]."
  — Autumn Calabrese, [07:52]
• "Sleep’s everything. If you’re not sleeping, like, you’ll die. Like, literally you’ll die if you don’t sleep."
  — Kelly Casperson, [20:19]
• “If you change the way you talk to yourself, that actually impacts how your cells heal faster than any supplement you can take.”
  — Autumn Calabrese, [05:09]
• "I am a person who exercises...that’s the lifestyle."
  — Autumn Calabrese, [37:37]
• "Turns out I was better at showing up because I knew other people were gonna show up."
  — Kelly Casperson, on accountability, [33:59]
• "We think the workout is going to be the hardest part, but I actually think the lack of movement is so much harder and feels so much worse than the 30 minute workout."
  — Autumn Calabrese, [46:07]
• “My body is not broken. It is made to work....What are the small changes? That’s where you’re gonna not—you’re gonna go from surviving to thriving.”
  — Autumn Calabrese, [43:36]
• “Trust that feeling good is possible and that you’re going to figure out how to get there.”
  — Kelly Casperson, [44:44]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Mindset & Fitness Foundations: 02:50–07:13
• Experience with Perimenopause & Stress: 07:52–11:54
• Autumn’s Strategies for Stress Management: 11:54–13:21
• Cultural Changes in Fitness: 15:29–18:36
• Strength, Mobility, Recovery: 18:36–22:47
• Sleep & Breaking Bad Habits: 20:19–25:39
• Kelly’s Personal Fitness Journey & Mindset Traps: 28:15–30:39
• Accountability & Community: 33:59–35:52
• Sustainable Lifestyle and Identity: 36:11–39:40
• Muscle Strength & Brain Health: 40:33–42:51
• Midlife Mindset Redefined: 43:36–46:07

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Final Takeaways

• Mindset really is everything: Without shifting your mental approach, sustaining fitness or lifestyle changes is impossible.
• Midlife is not a sentence: Women have the power to make this their strongest, healthiest era—with the right tools and the right perspective.
• Accountability and small, consistent habits are the real ‘secrets’ to staying strong and feeling vibrant at any age.
• “You are not broken.” Thriving is possible—start where you are, and keep moving forward.

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For more from Autumn Calabrese, check out her programs on BODI.com and follow her on Instagram. For further sex, health, and hormone wisdom, stay tuned to Dr. Kelly Casperson’s podcasts and resources.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the youe Are Not Broken podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Kelly Casperson, a board certified urologist, thought leader, and conversation starter on midlife living, hormones and sexuality. Enjoy the show.

[B]

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the you are Not Broken podcast. I am so excited today to have on somebody who I think I know. So now I understand it when people tell me they think they know me. Autumn Calabrese. Did I say your last name right, though? I've known you for like seven years and I don't know how to say your last name.

[C]

It happens all the time. It's Calabrese or Calabrese, depending on where you are. But, yes, Calabrese. I love it.

[B]

Oh, welcome to the show.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

[B]

I was thinking about you today because I went to the gym and it is December and it is freezing and my body was cold and stiff and I'm like, how do we get women to understand you gotta warm your body up so you stop feeling cold? Fitness is the way to not be cold.

[C]

Exactly. Build that muscle, create that heat. Especially this time of year when it is. I was in Ohio for Thanksgiving visiting my family, and I don't do Ohio temperatures.

[B]

I don't do Ohio. I'm from Minnesota originally. And I'm like, I don't know how people reproduce. I don't know how they go on and get naked.

[C]

I literally. I was like. The thought of getting in the shower, I was like, bone chilling cold. It was snowing. I didn't want to do anything. I was like, man, I forgot. But I understand why it's a little harder to get motivated when it's freezing outside.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But I also just couldn't wait to move to reduce that heat in my body.

[B]

Yeah. To me, I'm like, that's like. I think a lot of people don't know that as a physician. Like, people come to the office and they're like, I'm cold. And you want to be like, let's check your thyroid. Let's make sure everything's functioning. But like, lift weights, spin bike, do a bunch of push ups. Like, it really warms your body up. And I hadn't thought about it in a while until the weather's changed. And this morning I was like, had I not had a fitness routine that I do, you just stay cold all day.

[C]

I'm like that. Even in la, I'm like that. I wake up in the morning and I'm chilly, but the second I get My workout in, it's like, okay, all systems ago now. The body feels like it's functioning properly. I'm not shaking, and I'm ready to do the day.

[B]

Yeah, and then you stay warm for a long time afterwards. Like, it keeps going. Like, right now, I'm still warm, and my workout ended an hour ago. It feels so good. It feels so much better than being cold. So to all the Midwest people. Cause I know that it's winter right now. That's the pro tip, is get moving. Even though your body doesn't want to and your mind doesn't want to, because it will work. One of the things I really like about you and all your programs is all the mindset stuff that you throw into it. And, like, you're very consistent in that. So was that always how you were, or have you been, like, a student for a while and now you're like, I've got to put this in here?

[C]

I think both. I've always been a mindset person, but I think the more comfortable I got, like, the more I learned and the more comfortable I got with it, the more I just wanted to give it back to people. Because when it comes to fitness, when it comes to a healthy lifestyle, the body doesn't change unless the mind changes, right? So we're like, we have to change the way we're thinking about approaching a healthy lifestyle. How we feel about ourselves, how we feel about what it's going to take to make those changes in order to actually make them. Because that's, you know, people always say, well, how do you stay consistent? Well, I lost the motivation. It's. It's all in your mind. It's all the way you're looking at it, how you're approaching it. So just the more I was learning about it, the more I wanted to reinforce it. And I feel like. And I have read a lot of studies that basically, you know, when your body's in motion, you're going to retain things more. I know I am like that. I grew up as a competitive dancer, and the more I danced, the easier it was for me to remember and memorize things in school. Like, my memorization just went off the charts. Like, I could photographic memory my notes and take my tests so easily. So when I give that mindset, when you're moving, it's like, okay, I'm doing the workout now. I'm sort of integrating what she's saying about how to think about it and why it's important. And. And then as you go throughout your day, it kind of Pops back in there.

[B]

Yeah, I love it. It's not like a listen to one video to get mindset right. Like, it is a just like, it's like you can't go to the gym once and have beautiful muscles. Like, it's, it is the lifestyle of. You've got to put in the reps and continue to learn about it and understand how the brain works and keep doing the reps for the muscles. And it's all like, it doesn't just stick with one tidbit.

[C]

No, definitely not. It is a, a reinforce on the regular forever.

[B]

To me, I'm like, I've got like five pounds. I'd like to body recomp. Like, I'd like five more pounds of muscle, five less pounds of adipose. My thought was, oh, these last five are hard. Then I was like, ah, what if the last five are easy? What if all I have is five? What if this is the easy part? Right? And it's like, dude, you don't realize what your mindset is until you can kind of step out and catch those thoughts.

[C]

I was just watching a video that was saying a Heart of Harvard study just came out and it was saying the power of our words and how every cell in our body hears those words and it's basically coming at a frequency, like a Hertz frequency. And that they were seeing that how you speak to yourself can actually impact how you heal and how your cells change faster than any supplement that you can take. And they did the actual blood work and tests and things to prove it. And so like you said, just saying, oh, these five pounds is less. Five pounds is so hard. It's so hard. You're just telling your body that it's hard. You're telling your body not to let go. But if you start reprogramming yourself and, and I'm not saying like a fake it till you make it, but I'm really saying find the good. Like, this is enjoyable. Wow, this is so much easier than it was when I had £20 or £30 to lose or I've got the routine. So this is great. I just have to stick, stick with it. There's so many positive ways you could start to look at it that will have a much more profound impact for the positive than just, it's hard, it's hard. I don't want to. I mean, that's when you give up. You're just beating yourself into submission.

[B]

Totally. Who's the famous philosopher? Whether you think it's true or not, you're right. God, who is That I can't remember now.

[C]

I don't remember who said it's somebody very famous.

[B]

Somebody who's listening is like, kelly, come on, you're brain farting right now.

[C]

Both of us, they're like, get it?

[A]

We're both brain farting.

[B]

But, yeah, that guy. They look at, like, professional athletes and the people who make it to the Olympics and stuff. It's like they might have unique body genetics, they might be a certain height, they might have certain shoulder wingspans, but by and large, it's the mindset that gets them there.

[C]

Yeah. That's why they have their performance coaches, because at a certain point when you're that good, you can only do so much more training to the point where you're going to have diminishing returns. Then it switches to, what is your mindset? What do you believe you're capable of achieving when the moment is hard, when you're down, when you're out, what can you dig into to level up again? Because the skill is obviously there.

[B]

Yeah, totally. I've seen this a lot, like, in midlife, when, you know, I prescribe hormones. I love hormones. Hormones help cells be healthy. Love them. But some people think hormones are all there is, and, like, they're like secret magic. And, like, I just need the hormones.

[A]

And I'll feel better.

[B]

And I'm like, no, your mindset. And when you're low, knowing how to get yourself back out of that. Right. Because so many people think they're in, like, a stuck state and they're looking for, like, the hormone to help. But it's like, what are your tricks when you're low to swap out of that quicker than you tend to, like, quicker than you did last week, quicker than you did last month. That's the work.

[C]

Yes. And I could say that from experience. I'm 45. I just turned 45 in September. So I'm in perimenopause. I've been in it for a couple of years now, and I was already on HRT when I hit my lowest point. And what I mean by like, I just mean, like a mess hormonally. I had been on HRT for a year already, so I was on thyroid, I was on estrogen, I was on progesterone. And I just remember, like, it was just all in one week. It felt like it exploded on me. I went from feeling really great and looking really cute. I had a photo shoot. I had done this photo shoot, felt great at it. And a week later, I was at a work event wearing the same Outfits on stage, teaching in front of 5,000 people, and felt like they barely fit. So I know I didn't gain five pounds of fat, but all of a sudden, I had all this inflammation. I was crying every day for no reason. I just couldn't get it together. And I had literally done blood work a few weeks earlier with my doctor. And I got back from the work trip, and I called my doctor and was like, I don't know what's going on, but I can't live like this. And he goes, well, we just got your blood work back. And he looked at it, and he's like, whoa, you're a mess. And you got to remember, like, it's not like I wasn't already eating healthy, exercising, but for me, stress has always been the major one. I. I live in a state of chronic stress. Probably have since I was a kid. And that is something that I have worked very hard. I'm not saying that it perfected by any means, but. But that was the thing that I really had to take the most control over. In the last two years, I'm still on the hrt, still eat. I. I tweaked my nutrition a little bit. Cause I dug into the research and I started figuring out, okay, what do we actually need to tweak here? A little bit. But for me, managing the stress on my body was so huge. And the hot flashes and the night sweats, I mean, goodness, they were unbearable. And then I started to tweak these little things, and it was like a whole new world. Poof.

[B]

I know. I think doctors and people, like, people are talking about stress, like, manage stress, get your sleep, blah, blah, blah. But I think we kind of, like, lip service it a little bit. Like, meaning, like, does the average person actually know what it means when they say, hey, you've got to manage your stress for your health? So, like, what tips would you give people for that?

[C]

First of all, I think we live in this state of chronic stress that we don't even acknowledge that we're under stress. Right. It's so. So the norm.

[B]

Totally. Like, everything's fine. This is how it's always been.

[C]

Yeah. And it's not. It's not fine at all. The world that we live in is stressful. So I think just even acknowledging that, you know, work can be stressful, you have to really kind of take a big picture look and go, where's all my stress coming from? Because every day, again, if you're used to living in it, it might just feel so normal that, you know, I'm fine. And that was sort of me. I was okay, this is all normal. Like I've always had this stress. Well, it's compounding every single day and every single year. So breathing and breath work was the number one thing for me that made a big difference because I could literally do it anywhere. You know, people will say like meditate and I don't know why, but that's a harder one for me. Like I'm not a sit still kind of girl. It's very hard for me.

[A]

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[C]

But I can breathe. We all have to breathe so I can actively go, oh shoot, I'm breathing into my chest. Let me slow it down. In for five counts through the nose, out through five counts through the mouth. I can do it while I'm on work calls. I can do it when I'm stuck in traffic. 4, 7, 8, breathing before I would go to bed. That was a very big one for me. For almost a year I dialed back in the way that I was training. I was doing a lot of hit training, high intensity interval. It still was strength training, but it was my body just needed a minute. I switch, I started doing more Pilates. I got certified in Pilates. Been almost three years now that I've been studying it very regularly. And I switched to strength training, Pilates and just one day of cardio a week because I still wanted to keep up cardiovascular health, but my body needed even that. Like exercise is great for us, but if you're under an insane amount of stress, exercise is still a stressor on the body. So we have to be aware of the amount that we're putting on it. Really making sure I set a bedtime routine and okay, I'm going To sleep at this time. The lights are off, the room is cold, the room is dark, the TV's off. Those little things made very big differences in the amount of stress on my body. And I also started to get really good at just saying no, I can't do that. I'm not great at asking for help. That's been a hard one for me my whole life. And so I've really had to start to be okay with it.

[B]

Yeah, I'm in the like learning to say no phase. Cause it's like what you said yes to, to get you here in your career and where you are in life. Like you got here in part by your hard work, ability to tolerate stress and saying yes. Right. So it's like it got you here, it's not going to get you there and furthermore, it's going to wear on you and it's going to age you. And so I think so many women in our age group were like, no, yeah, fully acknowledge you are successful because of your tolerant for stress, your ability to say yes, all of those things, your ability to not sleep. But now we're going to change the play, we're going to change the playground. And like that's hard to be. Like, I, yeah, I know it got you successful, but it's not actually gonna sustain you physically, mentally for the next phase.

[C]

Right. And that's exactly right, especially for me. The tolerance to stress ability, 18 hour work days, never said no. Every opportunity. Yep, I got it, I got it, I got it. But yeah, it's just no longer sustainable to function at that level without paying the price.

[B]

Yeah, I was just at a conference and they were talking about like the cellular resistance of an 18 year old. You can beat up those cells and they're fine. Their resilience capacity is so much beyond like our ability to beat it up. And then people are like, oh, you think people aren't gonna age? We're still aging. We're just helping our body out by exercising and choosing hormones and choosing sleep and all this stuff. But like, as the cells age, it's like the tolerance for, for that like window of beating up on it, you lose it. That's just an age function. And so then you're like, oh, that's why you. Cause I think there's so many people are like, oh, I could handle it when I was 22, why can't I now? And it's like, cause you can't. And we're not, not aging.

[C]

Yes, we're trying to age gracefully, we're trying to do it with the least dis ease possible, but it doesn't mean that it's not happening.

[B]

Yeah, totally. For people who don't know, you started with Beachbody and and now it's called Bodi. How are things different, like culturally with women working out now compared to when you started in the fitness industry?

[C]

Ooh, that's an interesting one. Okay, so when I started, well, when I started in the industry, I mean, it's been 22 years since I started. I was in my 20s when I started, but when I started with then Beachbody now body, I was a fitness competitor. Like, I was still in my fitness competitor era. And it was, let's go hard, let's lift some weights, let's do it. It's okay to have the desire for a specific looking physique. It was okay to talk about weight loss and losing body fat. And then about when the pandemic happened and the world had a massive shift that threw a really big loop. Like, I think that threw the industry for a loop. All of a sudden. It was almost like you were a bad person. If you talked about losing weight, if you talked about exercising for health. It was like, just let people live. And you must be telling people not to love themselves the way they are if you're telling them to exercise. And it was this very jarring place of trying, coming from a place of wanting to help and encourage and support, but healthy is healthy and unhealthy is unhealthy. And now I feel like we are swinging out of it. And I think we're starting to see a little bit more of balance. Like we are seeing people go, okay, wait a minute, I do want to be healthy. We're hearing the buzzword longevity quite a bit. But wanting to have this longevity to us and, and again, living dis ease disease free for as long as possible and having our ability to take care of ourselves on our own. I do think we're getting back to a point of acknowledging it's okay. It's okay to want to look a certain way. We want to achieve it in a healthy manner. But it's okay to want that because I get. I feel like for a few years there, it was almost like you were shamed if you wanted to look a certain way. So I think we're seeing the pendulum swing. We're seeing women really like starting to enjoy weight training again. A really big movement towards lifting weights again. But we're also seeing that right along with weight training. I mean, Pilates is at its all time high right now its peak of people wanting to do it.

[B]

I didn't know that. Well done.

[C]

Yeah. Which is fantastic. And again. But that goes to the mobility, the flexibility, the core strength, the proper posture, moving without pain. There's a lot of people out there teaching Pilates and then there's true Joseph Pilates method. And I do think it's not that the other one is wrong, it's just Joseph's method was very specific. And I think that that is a beautiful little hybrid strength training. But then Pilates training for that mobility, that flexibility, that proper posture, alignment. We sit so much. Every placement of your hand, the precision, every placement of your foot, the alignment of your head, you're rewiring your nervous system to move and function and activate in the right order. And then that carries over to strength training.

[B]

Yeah. You know what a lot of people don't understand about strength training? Because you think it's just like, lift heavy, lift heavier, lift heavier. And. Yes, but like, the amount of flexibility, mobility, work that goes into that. And the people who lift heavy will say that they'll be like, I need a full day of yoga or a full day of mobility or Pilates to like, for lack of a better word, I know it's a crappy word, lengthen things out. But like, get the stretching in there to get the blood flow into the joints. And the other big thing that, that I think people don't see with lifting weights is rest and sleep. You know, the big lifters are like, you've got to rest the body. And here we are thinking like, more, more, more, more, more. But they're like, no, no. If you're not resting, that's when you build muscle, actually.

[C]

Yeah. And the workout is when we break it down. If you're never allowing the repair time, you're never really going to make the progress that you're looking for. You're going to cause all the inflammation, but you're never going to have the recovery of it all. I mean, again, when I was a fitness competitor, my coach was a bodybuilder, a bodybuilding competitor. And I remember he would just, after competition, that man would be like, down and out for days. He was like, I gotta go sleep for days. Don't text, don't call. He's like, go do your recovery. Because he would compete. At the same time, I just remember thinking to myself, because, you know, it was 15 years ago at this point, like, why do you need so much sleep? I was, you know, I was my 30s now.

[B]

Now you're like, wise. He was Prioritizing.

[C]

Very wise. We need sleep. These legs need to recover.

[B]

Yeah, well, and I think, you know, to. For people who aren't sleeping well, it tends to happen slowly. Right. It's not like you slept great and then Tuesday you slept bad. It's like it poor sleep happens slowly or not prioritizing sleep happen. I'll just finish this one project. I'll just watch this other thing on YouTube. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So it's like you kind of slowly get into the bad slee and you don't realize how important it is. And then you're like, dude, sleep's everything. I wish I didn't say that. But like, sleep's everything. If you're not sleeping, like, you'll die. Like, literally you'll die if you don't sleep.

[C]

I mean, we know people use it as a form of torture, like sleep deprivation. That's. That alone should tell you something. And we don't. I don't think we often relate what happens when you don't get that good night of sleep. Like how many things that that triggers it. Your mood is gonna be off, your cortisol is gonna be high, it's gonna start to trigger those sugar cravings. Cause your body is looking for that readily available energy source. You know, you're probably going for more caffeine, which is overtaxing the adrenals, could be dehydrating you. And it's just this vicious cycle that you get stuck in. But I also think that a lot of times people have a hard time with sleep, even going to bed, even going to their room or getting in bed, because that means their brain has to slow down. And if you're trying to avoid something, if you're stressed out about something, the second you get in bed, turn the lights off, turn the TV off, put the phone down, the brain goes. And it's like, well, that's it almost feels more stressful to get in bed and lay there ruminating.

[D]

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[B]

Because you're like. You're like letting reality back in because you were distracting yourself. Yeah.

[C]

So it's about taking that time like an hour before bed. Like, what is that routine? Is it. Put the phone down. Stop the doom scrolling. Do you need to sit and journal and write down all the things that are stressing you out to get it out? Do it. That's where, like I said, I like to get in bed. And if I do the 4, 7, 8 breathing technique so it's in for 4, counts through the nose, hold for 7, exhale slowly for 8, I have to count. So I can't really think about anything else because I'm counting. And I do a good 10 cycles of that. And then at that point my body has gone into a much more relaxed state state and I can fall asleep totally.

[B]

And a lot of people will use alcohol and THC gummies to sleep because they just want to be like, they don't want to learn the skills of how to sleep or cut out the things like, but I like drinking coffee till 4pm and I like my screens and blah blah, blah, blah blah. And then so they'll use something to knock them out quick. But they don't understand that that's not great quality sleep, actually. And it's a stress on the body. Like I, I pride myself in my clinic. I'm like, you know, the amount of people I've gotten off of the stupid THC sleep gummies because they are using them to sleep, but then they're like, oh, I don't need those anymore. I'm like, yes, another one.

[C]

Yeah, check the box.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I think that's what people don't realize. It's these little life changes to lifestyle that again, all of a sudden you start to go, oh, wait, I didn't need that. Whatever you were taking to help you sleep. Oh, I didn't even need my caffeine this morning. I had so much energy to get through the day. Hey, I wasn't super moody and yelling at my family all day long. But there is that period. I would say it's usually a good seven to 14 days where you're trying to make those new lifestyle changes that are probably going to be uncomfortable. Like my hormone health program for women that I have, and it's women of all ages and phases. It's not just perimenopause menopause, because so many women are experiencing hormonal imbalances. It's belvital. But we address nutrition, fitness and stress management and then some supplementation. But it's these little changes where I'm like, okay, we're gonna cut back on the amount of Caffeine we're taking in in a day. And I mean, the amount that some women would tell me they were taking in in a day, I'm just like, how much?

[B]

Asking for a friend.

[C]

Four to 500 milligrams a day.

[B]

One cup of black coffee is 80 milligrams. So that's roughly like six cups of coffee. Yeah.

[C]

Or it's like, oh, I have two cups in the morning and then I have my energy drink and then I have another cup of midday, and I'm like, no wonder you're not sleeping. That caffeine has that half life. It's a six hour half life, I believe it is. So every six hours, you're cutting the amount of milligrams in half. So if half of it's still in you, you're still raging. So no wonder you're not sleeping. And you know, the first week they tell me, okay, I've got the headache, very low energy, and, you know, we're making sure they're hydrating and things like that.

[B]

But the good news is, is usually.

[C]

When they start the program, they're at their end of their rope. So they're pretty dedicated. And that first seven days, if they get through that first seven days, they're usually feeling so good. By the end of the seventh day, not only are they more energy, sleeping better, headaches are gone. Usually a significant amount of weight has fallen off in that first seven days. And they're like, wait, what?

[B]

No, it's crazy. The body hangs onto stuff because it's stressed and it's like, the body, I don't know, like, is the body like, hey, we might die soon, so I need to hang on to some of this. Right? Because it's stressed and you, like, get the stress away and the body's like, oh, okay, let me just clean up.

[C]

A little bit here. Exactly. It does. It starts to do all the cleaning up. You know, autophagy of the cells, the sweeping of the gut, all those things start to happen. But if you're in a constant state of stress, they don't happen.

[B]

Don't happen. Oh, And I think, you know, our culture, people don't understand that. Our culture is like a thing. And like, we respond to the culture. The thing that has been created. And the thing that has been created is this badge of honor for getting a lot of shit done, especially women. And you have to kind of prioritize your health and your body over what this culture is rewarding. Because at the end of the day, like, nobody's gonna take Care of your body for you. And like, the facts are the facts. Like, stress is hard on cells. We know that.

[C]

Yeah. That badge of honor of like, not only getting it done, but getting it done in the worst conditions possible. Oh my God. I got A, B and C done and I only had four hours of sleep and I'm on my seventh cup of coffee. That's not something to be proud of.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it done in the worst situation ever.

[C]

Like, good for you. We're glad you can get it done. Now let's not get it done in those conditions. Let's get it done with a good amount of sleep and some water in our body and fueled.

[B]

Yeah. I have another kind of big career goal that I'm making and part of the conditions of it is it's going to be fun and I'm not going to hustle. And if I start hustle because I'm like, the hustle got me here. And I'm like, but I'm not going to hustle for the first stage too. And if I do hustle, I'm cutting it. I'm done. I'm so being intentional upfront on it because I know, like, I can't do what I did again, nor do I want to. So you have, you have to be very clear of like, okay, I'm going to go up for another big dream, but I'm going to do it different. And that's the joy in it of like, you get to be intentional at this, at this point.

[C]

Well, one, I'm very interested to know what that is. Haha. And also, I'm doing the exact same thing. I have told people what mine is. I'm getting ready to launch a beverage line. Matches and functionals and exactly that. I will hustle, but I will only hustle at certain times. Like, okay, this has to get done, but these are my work hours and I have to eventually turn it off or I'm not going to be. Because like you said, I cannot get there the same way I got here. I am not 29 years old anymore, 30 years old. It's got to happen a different way. So it's about working more efficiently instead of just working more. It's like, no, let me be very intentional with my hours and my time that I'm putting in.

[B]

Yeah, I love it because otherwise the whole day's gone and you didn't get your workout in. I want to just share my story because it'll be fun for you probably, and for the listeners. So I. What was it I was sitting. This was. Mindset came first. Like, the mindset to change your life. With fitness, it came first for me. You know, I've always kind of worked out, and I was athletic, and I like to run and blah, blah, blah. But I had had two kids, and I was sitting on the couch, and I was like, a woman with good arms. Chef's kiss. I just love looking at it. I'm like, oh, God, it looks so good. And so I was, like, looking at some woman with nice arms. And I thought, I'll get those arms when I retire. The special thing about that thought was I caught it, right? I was like, oh, my plan is to work out when I retire. When am I going to retire? Probably not for a while. And so I caught the bullshit. And I caught it, and I was like, that's a bullshit thought. Why wouldn't I work out until I retire? Like, that's bullshit thought. And so I actually met online in a physician group, a anesthesiologist who was a mom who was doing. It was Beachbody at that point. And I was like, okay, I see it. Like, that's a female physician with kids. So when you see it represented, then you're like, okay, that's. I can do that then. Cause she's doing it, right? So I started Beachbody. This was in 2017. I have stuck with it ever since. I've done over 2,000 workouts. I still have an accountability group. I've done, like, almost every program. I've got nice arms. The other part about it was like, I'm not a morning person. I don't work out in the morning. And then I was like, oh, maybe that's bullshit, too, because I was always waiting to have enough energy after dinner, after the kids went to bed. And there was never enough energy left at that time. It was just never. Can you stay energetic enough to then work out? And I think that's where the. Like, that's just more stress on the body at that point because you're already exhausted. And so, like, I started working out in the morning, and it sucked in the beginning. And then. And then a weird thing happened. I started looking forward to going to bed so I could wake up to work out. And I was like, what?

[C]

Who am I?

[B]

Who am I? The other thing that was shocking, like, during. It was, like, by month four to six, I started noticing, like, body changes.

[C]

And.

[B]

And again, our culture is like, six weeks to best abs, four weeks to toned arms. It's like, dude, you guys, this takes a while. It takes a while and we have to be patient with it.

[A]

So there.

[B]

That's my Beachbody story.

[C]

That's incredible. Over 2,000 workouts and you still have the accountability group. That's huge though. I really like what you said about the fact that, you know, when you saw somebody else like you doing it, then it was like, okay, if she could do it, I could do it too. And so one of the reasons I absolutely love Beachbody and what we've done over the years and even though we don't have our coach network like we used to, we still run groups and things like that in our platform because that's the point is to show people like, everybody can do this. There's something for everybody. Whether, you know, it's 10, 15 minutes a day or an hour a day, depending on what you have, there's more than one way to get there. I think that's a question I always get. Well, like, what's the best program? And I'm like, well, the best one is the one you're going to do. If you're not going to do an hour, if that's going to stress you out, then do the 30 minutes.

[B]

And watch out because if it's a 25 minute body program, it's hard as hell.

[C]

Don't be fooled. We're getting it done. Yeah. We're not over here just, you know.

[B]

Taking it, taking it lightly for 25 minutes because like, me and my group, like, we know we're like, oh, if it's 20 minutes, that's a hard, that's going to be a very hard program. They're going to pack it in.

[C]

Yeah, it's one or the other. You got to get it done one way or the other. But there is something for everybody. And the fact that you've been so consistent for so long and that you, you got to that point where you started to look forward to the workouts. That's that mindset that hits. The pride that comes from doing it. The first few days, you hate it. But after even like three or four days, you start to get really like, yeah, look at me, I did it again. I got up and did it again.

[E]

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[C]

Those braggy moments, right? Of, oh, my gosh, I was up, and I got it done. I say it all the time in my workout. I'm like, I know I'm kicking your butt, but you would not be happy with me if you left here feeling like you had more to give. You'd be annoyed. You'd be annoyed that you wasted your time. You definitely wouldn't go brag on social media. I just had the easiest workout. I'm so glad I did it. Like, no, that's not what you're looking for.

[B]

I was working out with my trainer this week, and she's like. One of her other clients was like, I can't wait for the time when this gets easy. And she's like, the secret is that it's always hard to lift weights. Like, otherwise, you're not challenging yourself. Right? But it's like, the mindset is like, the hard is the point. The heart is what stimulates the body to get stronger. But, like, there's no, like, oh, this will just be easy all the time.

[C]

Now, the part that gets easy is the mindset shift, is that when you really continuously drill the mindset, it's easier to be in the discomfort. You embrace the discomfort. You expect the discomfort. That's the easier part of it. It's not easy, but you're. You know, that's what's coming. You know, that's what's necessary, and. And you're ready for it. You accept it. Whereas in the beginning, you're, like, trying to do everything to not be uncomfortable.

[B]

Totally. And I think, you know, part of it's just, like, you just get more confident that you're not actually gonna hurt yourself. Right. And for people who are actually going to, like, a physical gym with free weights, like, get a trainer, have somebody watch you be spotted, you know, especially if you want to push it. Like, you don't have to do this alone. But the other thing I think that is, you know, Beachbody is so. And Bodi is so amazing is the accountability groups. Cause I'm like, turns out I was better at showing up because I knew other people were gonna show up. That accountability that I was like, I wasn't willing to be accountable to myself, which, to me, I'm like, oh, that's effed up, Kelly. Like, work on that. But, like, I will show up because I know other people are gonna show up. And that's where, like, we still have a Facebook group. I'VE already posted mine today. Like, never miss a Monday. Posted it. I've been doing that for nine years now.

[C]

That's incredible.

[B]

It's pretty crazy. Like it adds up, right?

[C]

For sure. Nine years, that's nine years of consistency. That's where the true magic happens. It doesn't happen overnight, no matter what everybody wants to think or every people want to say. But no matter what it's like, it's the consistency over time. So you might have some times in there where the workouts are a little bit easier or maybe they're not as frequent. Maybe it's four days a week instead of six, or they're shorter instead of longer, or maybe the nutrition isn't as dialed in, but it's the consistency over time. It's not the, how hard can I go for three weeks, right? Can I beat my body into the ground for three weeks? Oh my gosh, yeah. I got there. I can't wait to go indulge in all of the things and not work out for a week. You set yourself right back. It's the show up, do the work, stay consistent, keep going. Allow for a little bit of the little treat here, a little treat there, Allow for the rest days. But it's the mindset of, I am a person who exercises. I am a person who eats healthy. It's that identity that is going to get you there and keep you there.

[B]

Let's talk about that. Because I think people, you know, the fitness people, they say it's a lifestyle, it's a lifestyle. And then people who aren't, they're like, what's this lifestyle? And I think you just nailed it. It's a mindset. The lifestyle is a mindset. People are like, what's this lifestyle? Oh, it's a mindset.

[C]

It's a mindset. And I'll, I'll go one step further. So Tony Robbins says this. It's an identity. And he explained it so well. So I'll just explain it the way he did, which was he was like, like, if you're not a smoker, that's an identity. You. I am not a smoker. So if somebody walks up to you and offers you a cigarette, you're not going to ask them what brand. You're not going to be like, well, what is it? Maybe I'll smoke it. No, I'm not a smoker. So you can have that same mindset or identity around. I am not a procrastinator. I am somebody who exercises. That is your identity. I don't skip my Workout because I'm somebody who exercises now. If I wake up one day and I'm super tired, I didn't get a good night's sleep, I'm very sore. Maybe my workout changes. Maybe it's a walk, maybe it is yoga, stretching, Pilates, something that's lower impact. But I'm a person who exercises, so I'm going to move my body. There are certain things that I don't eat or drink. That's just me. So it's, that's just a part of my identity. I mean, I think I've had one soda probably in like 10 years. So somebody's like, oh, do you want soda? I don't say what kind. I just, I don't drink soda. That's just me. I don't drink soda. So I, I don't care what kind you're offering. I appreciate the offer. I don't drink soda. Thank you. It's that, that's the lifestyle that I think fitness people are talking about. Those are the things that I eat healthy. I eat vegetables, I eat fruit, I eat, I don't eat an excessive amount of sugar. That's the lifestyle.

[B]

Yep. I see it a lot with. I'll joke, I'll be like, sugar's all I have left, you know, and because I don't, I don't drink alcohol.

[C]

Right.

[B]

So I'm like, sugar's all I have left. And to me, like, you know, what's the. When. When I want to reach for the sugar treat. What is my thought? Right? And my thought. Because I'll catch it. My thought is, I deserve this. And that's a very strong thought. When you're trying to give up sugar. Cause you're breaking you thinking you deserve something in a reward. Right. So like, that's the coaching on a lot of this. Of like, can you see the thought that's keeping you in this habit? And can you replace it with I, I'm choosing a fitness lifestyle. I'm choosing low glycemic index carbs, whatever it is, to replace the. Like, I deserve this. That's a pretty powerful thought. That'll keep me in the mint chip Haagen Dazs. If I don't work on that thought.

[C]

And it could be flipped just to I deserve to feel good. The Haagen Dazs might make you feel good in the moment, right. Because you're going to get that little hit from enjoying the taste and the sugar. But is it going to leave you feeling good long term? So I love sweets too. Like, I'm a sweets girl. That's the thing. I got to put the circle around and. Okay, where are the boundaries with it? Kind of like alcohol. Like, I'll have a glass of wine every once in a while, but I don't ever have alcohol because of something bad going on in life. It is never a coping thing for me. If a glass of wine sounds good. Oh, that sounds good. Like last night, I went out to sushi with some friends and I had a glass of wine. It sounded good. I didn't. That's the first glass I've had in, I don't know, two weeks. So great, fine, I had a glass. Same thing if I want a dessert. Oh, it sounds good, but it's never, oh, my God, this day was so awful. I'm just gonna sit down and I'm gonna indulge in this. Those are the moments where I turn to, what other healthier coping mechanism can I use? Like, am I taking a walk? Am I calling somebody? Am I putting on a funny movie? Am I indulging in the little bubble bath skincare routine? Something that is just gonna help me relax, but that's not gonna be detrimental?

[B]

Yeah, I love it. And I think it's helpful for people to be like, there's tips and tricks around this. Right? Cause I think some people are just like, oh, well, Autumn just has something that I don't have. Like, you just got this genetic gift or whatever, and it's like, no, no, no. This is all human stuff, and it applies to everybody. I saw a statistic recently, and I think it was 27% of Americans lift enough weights to whatever the guidelines for lifting weights are by the government, which is, I'm guessing, low. It's probably a low bar. Less than one third of adults meet that bar of lifting weights. And the data that's coming out now on leg strength being correlated with risk of dementia and, like, how muscle strength is brain health, basically. So I'm just. I'm plugging. Maybe you should do a muscle brain program at some point.

[C]

Listen, I love the spin on it. I mean, obviously, if you've ever done any of my workouts, everybody knows leg day is my favorite day, right?

[B]

And the day. And the data is the biggest muscles are the ones most correlated with. They. I don't know if you know about this twin study. They did identical twin study. It was female twins, and they looked at leg strength, and it was the twin with the biggest leg strength had the least risk of dementia in the future. So that, like, that study is going around, right? Now and these are identical twins. So you couldn't say it was like a genetic thing that like, you know, one was strong, whatever. So it's like, dude, muscle strength is directly correlated. And I'd say besides breast cancer, second thing, women are most afraid of dementia.

[C]

Yeah, I know for me that's huge because I've had my genetics done and I have the double whammy from both my parents. I have the gene mutation for Alzheimer's and dementia.

[B]

Oh, you're Apo. Apo4e and for anybody listening, you can just. That's just a lab test at Quest now you can get.

[C]

Yes. And it's a scary thing when the doctor tells you, he's like, oh, you got from both parents. So you, you really need to be on top of this. I'm like, oh my gosh. All the brain health. But the good news is, is that I've already been building the habits that I just need to keep going with. It is a really important one that we're starting to, you know, grip strength has been related or correlated to health and longevity and lifespan.

[B]

But you can't just sit in a chair and work on grip strength.

[C]

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[A]

You.

[C]

New Maybelline Serum lipstick. Maybe it's Maybelline.

[B]

That's the people. They people are like. So the hack is you sit in your La Z boy chair and just squeeze a tennis ball. Right. It's like no. Grip strength is, is a correlated with overall body strength. You can't just work on your grip strength.

[C]

You can't just work the grip strength. Right. Exactly. And ultimately it's the lifestyle stuff that is really going to have such a massive impact.

[B]

Oh, total gains. I mean even for women, it's like women's women live longer, but we live more years in ill health. And it's like, let's tighten that up. Peter Attia talks about like your, your last decade of like get your last. Everybody gets a last decade. We do not know when that is, but everybody gets a last decade. And can that last decade be as functional as possible? So you're not dependent. And all the things to me, I'm like, dude, I can't open jars as it is right now. Like, I gotta keep my straight. Those jars aren't gonna get any easier to open as we go forward. Exactly.

[C]

We gotta keep it all strong.

[B]

I love it. Well, to leave us today, I mean, to me, I'm like, this mindset is everything. And right up my alley. What else do you want women to know in midlife that, you know, I.

[C]

Think it's so important in this midlife? I was really just thinking about the other day. I was like, wow, I can't believe I'm 45. Like, I'm closer to 50 now. Like, I really am at the age where midlife is midlife. But it's not this sentence of doom and gloom. It really can be coming into the best years of our life because we've learned so much and we've experienced so much, and you probably are at a more established point in life, career, kids, that it's like, this is your time to shine. But it's all going to start with your mindset. If your mindset is, oh, my gosh, it's perimenopause and my hormones, and it's going to be awful and miserable and it's all downhill from here, that's probably what you're going to get. But if you really are like, no, no, my body is not broken. It is made to work. I need. I might need to work a little harder to help it, but it's made to work. What can I do? What are the small changes? That's where you're gonna really not. You're gonna go from surviving to thriving. And we all want that. I think we wanna thrive. I. I know I'm not looking to just survive every day. I wanna feel my best.

[B]

The thing I, you know, I see is, like, a lot of women don't understand if you're not feeling good, it's really hard to understand that feeling good is possible for you. Right? So it's like, find the people who can lead the way of, like. Because when women go from not feeling good to feeling good, they're like, oh, my God, right? So it's like, trust that feeling good is possible and that you're going to figure out how to get there. And these, like, everything we talked about today is, like, the path to feeling good. Which feeling good is freaking amazing.

[C]

It's amazing. I'll. I'll leave you with this. I was. When I was in Ohio for Thanksgiving, I ended up with a little stomach bug and. And it was freezing on top of it, so I didn't work out for six days. I was in so much physical pain, meaning not my stomach, my back Hurt so bad from the lack of movement. Everything was tight, everything was just unaligned and achy. And after that first workout, even though the workout was a little harder, getting back into it, I was like, oh, I feel so much better. Like the back pain is gone. But I had to push through the fact that my back really hurt and oh, am I gonna hurt myself because my back already hurts. So we think the workout is going to be the hardest part, but I actually think the lack of movement is so much harder and feels so much worse than the 30 minute workout.

[B]

I mean, that's the crazy thing too of like how quickly it happens. You know, you're like, no, no, you got to keep, gotta keep the better, make it a lifestyle. Because the bedbound, like how fast you lose your muscle is like, no, you gotta, gotta keep doing this. You know, I tell people, it's like you don't put a seatbelt on once and then you're good. You don't floss once and then you're good. Like there's all these other things in our life that we're like, I wore a seatbelt once, I'm good, right? It's like, no, no, you gotta keep wearing the seatbelt. Gotta keep living the lifestyle to make it work for you. Thank you so much for coming on. I know you're on Instagram. For anybody who's been under a rock B O d I dot com, that's where your Bell Vital program is and all of your other ones because I've been doing it since 2017. You're fabulous. I welcome you into my home all the time and thank you for your decades of dedication to helping women feel better.

[C]

Thank you so much. My pleasure. Thank you for having me and happy holidays.

[B]

Happy holidays.

[A]

Thank you for listening to this week's episode of youf Are Not Broken. If you want to dig deeper with me, sign up for my Adult Sex Education Masterclass where you learn adult things like communication skills, anatomy lessons and desire types and how to talk to your doctor about sexual health concerns. If you want the Adult Sex Education Masterclass for free, join my monthly membership for more in depth, exclusive content, more time with yours truly. A private podcast, coaching and educational empowerment and you can watch my interviews live and get them immediately without advertising. Head over to www.kellycaspersonmd.com for the membership and Adult Sex Ed Masterclass members. Get the Masterclass for free. This podcast is presented solely for educational, entertainment and informational purposes only. I am a doctor, but not your doctor in this format and all of my platforms and guests, including on this podcast are not giving individual medical advice or practicing medicine. See and consult with your own care team for your individual needs and concerns. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for the care and advice of a physician, therapist or other qualified professional. This podcast does not constitute the practice of medicine, in case you were curious about that and no doctor patient relationship is formed. But I still love you. Using the information on this podcast or any of my platforms is at your own risk. Until next time, remember, you are not broken.