Podcast Summary

You Are Not Broken, Episode 357: "Why We Made This - The Explorer"

Host: Dr. Kelly Casperson, MD
Guest: Lara Pack, CEO & Founder of Elixir Play (Australia)
Release Date: February 8, 2026
Theme:
A candid, science-driven, and often humorous deep dive into designing a pleasure-first, anatomy-focused vibrator for midlife women and anyone curious about sexual health, hands-on design, and the importance of empowerment and consent.

Episode Overview

Dr. Kelly Casperson and Lara Pack celebrate the upcoming release of their collaborative vibrator, The Explorer. Drawing on medical expertise, personal experience, and design innovation, the conversation demystifies vibrators’ role in sexual health, supporting women (especially in midlife, menopause, or with pain concerns) to reconnect with their bodies. The episode also dispels persistent myths, explores design principles, and answers listener Q&A covering safety, partner dynamics, cleaning, purchase guidance, and more.

Key Topics & Discussion Points

1. The Announcement: The Explorer Vibrator

• The Collaboration: Dr. Casperson and Lara unveil their first co-designed vibrator, “The Explorer,” launching worldwide on Valentine’s Day.
• Why "Explorer"?: Named to encourage gentle, uninhibited self-discovery—external-only, approachable, non-intimidating, and beginner-friendly.
  • "[It’s] an external only. Nothing’s penetrating. And I’m like, so stoked about that." – Kelly (02:19)
• Release Details: Available for pre-order; palm-sized, discreet, quiet, and designed with both function and anatomy in mind.

2. The Spark: How the Collaboration Began

• Origin story – a serendipitous meetup in Sydney, introduced by mutual friend and clinician Rachel Rubin.
• Shared Values: Education, advocacy for sexual health, and prioritizing user safety and empowerment.
  • "You teach people. You take the time to teach and educate. Not just, hey, here’s a product you like. Here’s the science behind it." – Lara (03:38)

3. Back to Basics: Why External-Only?

• Many women struggle with pain, fear, or avoidance regarding penetration—often due to menopause, vaginismus, or trauma.
• The Explorer is designed for any stage, especially beginners, or those who have not engaged with their bodies for a long time.
• Clinical approach: Emphasizing blood flow, arousal, and pleasure as essential steps—"blood flow, blood flow, blood flow" (08:12) before attempting penetration.

4. Intentional Design: Anatomy & Ergonomics

• Co-design process: Iterative prototyping, using Play-Doh and anatomical models to map the fit to real bodies.
  • "The idea is that you are exploring your own body. That’s why we came up with The Explorer." – Lara (10:04)
• Details: Dual-sided (divot on one side, gentle ridge on the other), soft silicone shell with a firmer core (to mimic body parts), palm-sized for comfort and ease.
• Quiet, powerful motor—no “lawnmower” vibes here.
  • “We don’t want lawnmowers, right? We don’t want it to lawnmowers.” – Lara (14:33)

5. The Science & Sexual Health

• Vibrators are not just “fun”—they can help improve blood flow, ease pain from conditions like GSM (genitourinary syndrome of menopause), lichen sclerosus, and encourage positive pleasure loops in the brain.
• Dispelling shame: Vibrators should be considered a legitimate sexual health tool, like Viagra for men.
  • “We don’t make fun of men for using Viagra… Vibrators are a tool for sexual health.” – Kelly (16:14)
• Addressing misconceptions and the double standard in public conversation.

6. Consent & Safety

• Consent isn’t just for new partners; it's vital in all relationships, and safety must mean feeling physically and emotionally safe—not just with partners but in the world.
  • "There’s no such thing as assumed consent in any situation… we do promote that you can use this with your partner but use it with your partner if that’s what you want to do." – Lara (24:12)
  • “Even if you feel safe with your partner, you might not feel safe in the world as a woman, knowing the harm that has been done to women in their bodies.” – Kelly (25:22)
• The goal: Reclaim and reframe sexual pleasure as empowering, not taboo or "sexualized" in a negative or dangerous way.

7. Practical Q&A: Listener Questions Answered Rapid-Fire

Highlights:

• Are vibrators safe long-term? Yes—no evidence for nerve damage with normal use (28:56).
• Bringing up vibrators in medical settings: Address underlying problems (arousal, desire, pain), offer referrals and resources; don’t trivialize with "just use a vibrator." (31:04)
• "Stimulator" vs. "Vibrator"? Terms are often interchangeable; some “stimulators” use suction or air pulse instead of vibration. (33:03)
• Vibrator cleaning: Gentle soap and water is enough; no fancy products needed (34:20).
• Silicone & lube: High-quality silicone vibrators can generally be used with silicone lube if washed promptly; oil-based and lower-quality toys risk degradation. (35:51)
• Desensitization concerns: No, vibrators don’t damage nerves or “ruin sex,” but strong stimulation feels different than partners can provide; compare to using other life-enhancing technology. (41:47)
  • "I’m not addicted to my electric toothbrush… It’s this almost technology shaming." – Kelly (45:21)
• Partner intimidation: Clear, “I feel” communication and reminding partners that pleasure is mutual; most enjoy seeing their partner enjoy themselves (43:34).
• Affordable vibrators: Quality costs—expect to spend $100+ for something durable, comfortable, and body-safe. Cheaper products can disappoint or even cause harm (52:58).
• Discreet storage: Comes with satin bag; clean toys and keep out of reach of pets or prying eyes (53:13).
• Suction/air pulse toys: Great for some, but not ideal for beginners—intense, immediate orgasms, but may skip the build-up and broader pleasure (54:45).
• Choosing a "first" vibrator for a daughter: Aim for approachable, external, non-intimidating (like The Explorer); have a consentful conversation (49:51).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On pleasure-first design:

  “I want an external vibrator where you can just feel, this is what arousal is, this is what orgasm is.” – Kelly (08:44)

• On intimacy and safety:

  “We talk a lot about consent... but that actually also applies in a relationship as well. This idea that just because you’re in a relationship, there’s assumed consent, is not a thing.” – Lara (22:44)

• On social stigma:

  “Why make sex toys in a world that uses sex as a weapon against women? Because sex is for you, when done lovingly and supportively and consensually, and prioritizing you and your body and the amazing things your body can do to feel pleasure.” – Kelly (26:24)

• On product quality:

  "There is no such thing as the single best vibrator because there is a single best vibrator for the specific reason you want a vibrator for. Full stop." – Lara (38:18)

• On innovation in context:

  "Technology is designed to improve things and make your life better. We don't tell people they're desensitized to walking because they prefer driving a car." – Kelly (45:21)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:14 – Introducing Lara & the big announcement
• 01:27 – Launch details: The Explorer (preorders, features)
• 03:33 – How the collaboration began
• 04:40 – Lara’s story: vaginismus, pain, and founding Elixir Play
• 08:00 – The need for external, beginner-friendly design
• 10:04 – From Play-Doh to prototype—ergonomics and user comfort
• 13:13 – Design breakdown and crowd-sourced color selection
• 16:14 – Vibrators as sexual health tools; tackling stigma
• 22:44 – Consent, safety, trauma, and emotional context
• 28:50 – Listener Q&A: safety, medical advice, partner dynamics
• 52:58 – Affordability, quality, and practical purchasing advice
• 54:45 – Suction toys vs. vibrators—"one-trick ponies"
• 59:05 – "Marie Kondo-ing" your vibrator collection & award hopes
• 61:01 – Funny mailman story: vibrator shipping “security”

Tone & Style

Candid, warm, often humorous, and laden with practical wisdom, scientific explanation, and genuine empathy for women’s sexual health journeys. Both Dr. Casperson and Lara combine expertise, lived experience, and openness, making the topic approachable and empowering for listeners new and experienced alike.

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read)

• Dr. Kelly Casperson and Lara Pack unveil The Explorer—an external, body-safe, beginner-friendly vibrator rooted in science and empathy.
• The episode unpacks why external vibrators are key for those with pain or fear around penetration, the collaborative process, serious design considerations, and why vibrators deserve a seat at the sexual health table—without shame.
• Extended Q&A debunks myths, provides safety info, and supports listeners in buying, using, and discussing vibrators—always grounding the discussion in consent and empowerment.
• Memorable moments include clear calls for normalizing pleasure, communication with partners, and pushing back on the technology-shaming of women’s sexual devices.

For more, or to pre-order The Explorer, visit elixirplay.com.