366. Coaching, Training Trauma, and Becoming with Dr. Smith

Transcript

State Farm Sponsor (0:01)

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Dr. Kelly Casperson (0:29)

Welcome to youo Are Not Broken, the podcast that challenges everything we've been taught about midlife hormones and sexuality. I'm Dr. Kelly Casperson, board certified urologist, author, and a leading voice in women's sexual and hormone health. Enjoy the show, everybody.

Dr. Kelly Casperson (0:44)

Welcome back to the youe're Not Broken podcast. I have the immense pleasure of having Dr. Sunny Smith on my podcast today because I've known Sunny since before the podcast bp.

Sunny Smith (0:54)

BP before podcast bp.

Dr. Kelly Casperson (0:57)

So, like, long, long story very short, Sunny was probably my first time I was ever coached. I was on the weekend, I was headed to my office to go to the hospital to do rounds, but I knew this coaching hour with Sunny was, like, happening. And so I thought I would just log on and, like, see what happens and basically look at me now. So let's start with that. Let's start with that story and, like, how you remember it, Sunny, and when. And welcome to the podcast.

Sunny Smith (1:28)

Yes, yes, yes. And look at me now. Well, I mean, I remember it very

Sunny Smith (1:33)

similarly to how you do. And you came on and, you know, like the leader and winner that you

Sunny Smith (1:39)

are, you raised your hand right away.

Sunny Smith (1:40)

So you were the first person that I got.

Sunny Smith (1:42)

Coach, I don't have time to wait around.

Dr. Kelly Casperson (1:43)

I got to go around.

Sunny Smith (1:44)

Like, let's get this done. I know.

Sunny Smith (1:46)

So you came on and you told me, okay, so I'm a urologist and I have this idea. I want to talk about sexual medicine. I want to have a podcast. You know, I'm kind of like dabbling in this.

Summary

Podcast Summary:

You Are Not Broken – Episode 366: Coaching, Training Trauma, and Becoming with Dr. Smith
Host: Dr. Kelly Casperson
Guest: Dr. Sunny Smith
Date: April 12, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode dives into the transformative role of coaching in shaping professional and personal growth, particularly for women physicians. Dr. Kelly Casperson and special guest Dr. Sunny Smith discuss the powerful distinctions between “dabbling” and true commitment, the entrenched structural gender biases in medicine, harrowing personal stories of medical gaslighting, and foundational concepts in cognitive coaching. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and truth, they illuminate the challenges women face in midlife, medicine, and self-advocacy—while offering practical pathways for empowerment.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. From Dabbling to Commitment—The Power of Agency

Dr. Casperson shares her origin story of being coached by Dr. Smith; this pivotal conversation shifted her from “dabbling” in podcasting and sexual medicine to committing fully to her mission.
- Sunny recalls:
  
  “Are you dabbling or are you really committed to making a difference in this? … It’s a decision to be made whether you’re dabbling or not.” (02:02)
- Kelly reflects:
  
  “If you’re dabbling, the critics won’t hurt you as much because you’re not out there and announcing.” (03:34)
Insight: Women are often conditioned to “downplay” pursuits, minimizing accomplishments to protect themselves from criticism. Stepping out requires self-permission and full ownership.

2. Agency & Permission: Who Gets to Say Yes?

Dr. Casperson describes waiting for external validation and her epiphany that only she can grant herself permission.

“I got out of the shower one day and like lightning struck and was like, the only permission you need is your own.” (06:09)
Sunny’s advice:

“Give yourself a permission slip. What is that thing that you needed? … The only ones who can ever give ourselves permission. Because even if someone else does give you permission, you can still hold yourself back.” (06:18)

3. Gender Disparities in Healthcare and Medical Gaslighting

Discussion of rising awareness about how women’s health complaints are dismissed or undermined, both in society and within medical training.
Dr. Smith details two profound personal stories:
1. Residency Seizures and Systemic Burnout (08:42):
  - Long work hours and sleep deprivation lead to repeated, ignored medical symptoms, culminating in status epilepticus and ICU admission.
  - Quote:
    
    “No one thought I had a focal seizure. They just thought I was kind of a stressed out, anxious young woman, maybe with some headaches.” (10:51)
  - The culture punished her for being ill—peers resented her absence, highlighting the inhuman demands of medical education.
  - Later reflections point to the lack of advocacy for oneself and the need to recognize the preciousness of life over professional expectation.
  - “I only came to that realization … life is the most precious thing there is. It doesn’t matter that medical degree, that practice, that hundred thousand dollar loans. I could have been dead.” (15:16)
2. Recent ER Gaslighting and Near-Death (19:09):
  - Dr. Smith experiences acute, life-threatening symptoms and is repeatedly dismissed as “anxious” despite classic clinical indicators of sepsis.
  - “I say, this is gender bias. I’m a woman. You think I have anxiety. I have a critical illness. I’m a physician. I need to see a physician immediately.” (21:36)
  - Security is called as she tries desperately to advocate for herself—even her medical status isn’t enough.
  - “I am critically ill. And they just kept telling me I had anxiety and to stop it.” (26:10)
  - Only after objective labs (lactic acid 5.6) and EKG changes is she treated appropriately.
  - “If I had been a minority, non-English speaking person, I think I would be dead.” (30:32)

4. Society’s Story: Luck vs. Hard Work

Kelly challenges the narrative that success is due to luck or external factors:

“If you look at somebody’s success, don’t ever downplay it for one second that it wasn’t incredibly hard work where, like, nobody was watching for a very long time. Nobody else gave me my success. Like, this was all me.” (04:43)

5. The Coaching Model: Thoughts, Feelings, and Agency

Intro to Coaching Concepts:
- Thoughts determine feelings, feelings drive actions, and actions create results.
- “Thoughts are optional. They’re powerful and you can pick them.” (40:56)
- Mirroring back thoughts allows people to see their own limiting beliefs.
- Feelings are always valid, while not all thoughts are.
Example Quote on Stuckness:

“Feeling stuck is…there’s something that you need to learn. None of us are ever really stuck. … So it’s always something that’s very coachable every time somebody feels stuck.” (47:52)
Empowerment through Self-Awareness:
- Moving from, “my doctor won’t listen to me” to actionable alternatives, e.g., “this doctor isn’t prescribing hormones for me today,” which opens possibility for seeking new solutions.

6. Notable Ideas and Tools

Kara Lowenthal’s Unfck Your Brain* recommended as a beginner resource (41:26).
Byron Katie’s “The Work” as a reframing and inquiry practice (55:16).
Quotable moment on humility and questioning beliefs:

“If you think you’re right all the time...try the opposite of that. See how it goes.” (55:08)

7. Empowering Women Physicians & Takeaways

Dr. Smith’s current work: a coaching practice for women physicians, emphasizing that physicians face all the same human struggles as anyone else.

“Any issue that women physicians have, they come to us. And physicians like … have issues too.” (53:31)
Coaching, like basic self-care, is a vital “nutrient” for a healthy, empowered life.

“It’s like eight fruits and vegetables, a liter of water, eight hours of sleep, some exercise and coaching.” (54:32)

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

Kelly on Agency:

“The only permission you need is your own.” — Dr. Kelly Casperson (06:09)
Sunny on Commitment:

“Are you dabbling or are you really committed? … It’s a decision.” — Dr. Sunny Smith (02:02)
On Gaslighting:

“No one thought I had a focal seizure. They just thought I was kind of a stressed out, anxious young woman.” — Dr. Sunny Smith (10:51)
ER Experience:

“They change my chief complaint to anxiety, and they put me in the lobby.” — Dr. Sunny Smith (22:01)
On Gender Bias:

“If you have a pulse of 150 and you roll into the emergency department as a man … what are the chances they're going to call you anxiety? Zero.” — Dr. Sunny Smith (30:39)
On Limiting Beliefs:

“Most of the limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves and the world around us are inserted from someone else.” — Dr. Sunny Smith (46:52)
On Coaching’s Impact:

“Everything in my life right now is because of coaching.” — Dr. Kelly Casperson (54:13)

Important Segment Timestamps

First coaching encounter & the dabbling/commitment conversation: 00:44–03:30
Discussion of agency, permission, and self-ownership: 05:26–07:22
Gender bias & Dr. Smith’s residency seizure story: 08:42–16:45
Gaslighting, ER story, and systemic failures: 19:09–34:54
Coaching basics, using thoughts & feelings to create change: 40:43–52:23
The work and mission of Empowering Women Physicians: 52:58–54:13
Final reflections on perspective, humility, and growth: 54:18–55:44

Conclusion

This episode offers a powerful blend of storytelling and actionable insight. From concrete, heart-stopping medical bias examples to practical tools for agency and reframing, listeners are reminded that they are never “broken”—the path forward begins with self-trust, radical ownership, and the courage to question both external systems and internal narratives. Dr. Smith and Dr. Casperson’s candid dialogue is as validating as it is inspiring.

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