366. Coaching, Training Trauma, and Becoming with Dr. Smith

Summary

Podcast Summary:

You Are Not Broken – Episode 366: Coaching, Training Trauma, and Becoming with Dr. Smith
Host: Dr. Kelly Casperson
Guest: Dr. Sunny Smith
Date: April 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the transformative role of coaching in shaping professional and personal growth, particularly for women physicians. Dr. Kelly Casperson and special guest Dr. Sunny Smith discuss the powerful distinctions between “dabbling” and true commitment, the entrenched structural gender biases in medicine, harrowing personal stories of medical gaslighting, and foundational concepts in cognitive coaching. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and truth, they illuminate the challenges women face in midlife, medicine, and self-advocacy—while offering practical pathways for empowerment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. From Dabbling to Commitment—The Power of Agency

• Dr. Casperson shares her origin story of being coached by Dr. Smith; this pivotal conversation shifted her from “dabbling” in podcasting and sexual medicine to committing fully to her mission.
  • Sunny recalls:

    “Are you dabbling or are you really committed to making a difference in this? … It’s a decision to be made whether you’re dabbling or not.” (02:02)

  • Kelly reflects:

    “If you’re dabbling, the critics won’t hurt you as much because you’re not out there and announcing.” (03:34)

• Insight: Women are often conditioned to “downplay” pursuits, minimizing accomplishments to protect themselves from criticism. Stepping out requires self-permission and full ownership.

2. Agency & Permission: Who Gets to Say Yes?

• Dr. Casperson describes waiting for external validation and her epiphany that only she can grant herself permission.

  “I got out of the shower one day and like lightning struck and was like, the only permission you need is your own.” (06:09)

• Sunny’s advice:

  “Give yourself a permission slip. What is that thing that you needed? … The only ones who can ever give ourselves permission. Because even if someone else does give you permission, you can still hold yourself back.” (06:18)

3. Gender Disparities in Healthcare and Medical Gaslighting

• Discussion of rising awareness about how women’s health complaints are dismissed or undermined, both in society and within medical training.
• Dr. Smith details two profound personal stories:
  1. Residency Seizures and Systemic Burnout (08:42):
     • Long work hours and sleep deprivation lead to repeated, ignored medical symptoms, culminating in status epilepticus and ICU admission.
     • Quote:

       “No one thought I had a focal seizure. They just thought I was kind of a stressed out, anxious young woman, maybe with some headaches.” (10:51)

     • The culture punished her for being ill—peers resented her absence, highlighting the inhuman demands of medical education.
     • Later reflections point to the lack of advocacy for oneself and the need to recognize the preciousness of life over professional expectation.

     • “I only came to that realization … life is the most precious thing there is. It doesn’t matter that medical degree, that practice, that hundred thousand dollar loans. I could have been dead.” (15:16)

  2. Recent ER Gaslighting and Near-Death (19:09):
     • Dr. Smith experiences acute, life-threatening symptoms and is repeatedly dismissed as “anxious” despite classic clinical indicators of sepsis.

     • “I say, this is gender bias. I’m a woman. You think I have anxiety. I have a critical illness. I’m a physician. I need to see a physician immediately.” (21:36)

     • Security is called as she tries desperately to advocate for herself—even her medical status isn’t enough.

     • “I am critically ill. And they just kept telling me I had anxiety and to stop it.” (26:10)

     • Only after objective labs (lactic acid 5.6) and EKG changes is she treated appropriately.

     • “If I had been a minority, non-English speaking person, I think I would be dead.” (30:32)

4. Society’s Story: Luck vs. Hard Work

• Kelly challenges the narrative that success is due to luck or external factors:

  “If you look at somebody’s success, don’t ever downplay it for one second that it wasn’t incredibly hard work where, like, nobody was watching for a very long time. Nobody else gave me my success. Like, this was all me.” (04:43)

5. The Coaching Model: Thoughts, Feelings, and Agency

• Intro to Coaching Concepts:
  • Thoughts determine feelings, feelings drive actions, and actions create results.

  • “Thoughts are optional. They’re powerful and you can pick them.” (40:56)

  • Mirroring back thoughts allows people to see their own limiting beliefs.
  • Feelings are always valid, while not all thoughts are.

• Example Quote on Stuckness:

  “Feeling stuck is…there’s something that you need to learn. None of us are ever really stuck. … So it’s always something that’s very coachable every time somebody feels stuck.” (47:52)

• Empowerment through Self-Awareness:
  • Moving from, “my doctor won’t listen to me” to actionable alternatives, e.g., “this doctor isn’t prescribing hormones for me today,” which opens possibility for seeking new solutions.

6. Notable Ideas and Tools

• Kara Lowenthal’s Unfck Your Brain* recommended as a beginner resource (41:26).
• Byron Katie’s “The Work” as a reframing and inquiry practice (55:16).
• Quotable moment on humility and questioning beliefs:

  “If you think you’re right all the time...try the opposite of that. See how it goes.” (55:08)

7. Empowering Women Physicians & Takeaways

• Dr. Smith’s current work: a coaching practice for women physicians, emphasizing that physicians face all the same human struggles as anyone else.

  “Any issue that women physicians have, they come to us. And physicians like … have issues too.” (53:31)

• Coaching, like basic self-care, is a vital “nutrient” for a healthy, empowered life.

  “It’s like eight fruits and vegetables, a liter of water, eight hours of sleep, some exercise and coaching.” (54:32)

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• Kelly on Agency:

  “The only permission you need is your own.” — Dr. Kelly Casperson (06:09)

• Sunny on Commitment:

  “Are you dabbling or are you really committed? … It’s a decision.” — Dr. Sunny Smith (02:02)

• On Gaslighting:

  “No one thought I had a focal seizure. They just thought I was kind of a stressed out, anxious young woman.” — Dr. Sunny Smith (10:51)

• ER Experience:

  “They change my chief complaint to anxiety, and they put me in the lobby.” — Dr. Sunny Smith (22:01)

• On Gender Bias:

  “If you have a pulse of 150 and you roll into the emergency department as a man … what are the chances they're going to call you anxiety? Zero.” — Dr. Sunny Smith (30:39)

• On Limiting Beliefs:

  “Most of the limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves and the world around us are inserted from someone else.” — Dr. Sunny Smith (46:52)

• On Coaching’s Impact:

  “Everything in my life right now is because of coaching.” — Dr. Kelly Casperson (54:13)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• First coaching encounter & the dabbling/commitment conversation: 00:44–03:30
• Discussion of agency, permission, and self-ownership: 05:26–07:22
• Gender bias & Dr. Smith’s residency seizure story: 08:42–16:45
• Gaslighting, ER story, and systemic failures: 19:09–34:54
• Coaching basics, using thoughts & feelings to create change: 40:43–52:23
• The work and mission of Empowering Women Physicians: 52:58–54:13
• Final reflections on perspective, humility, and growth: 54:18–55:44

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Conclusion

This episode offers a powerful blend of storytelling and actionable insight. From concrete, heart-stopping medical bias examples to practical tools for agency and reframing, listeners are reminded that they are never “broken”—the path forward begins with self-trust, radical ownership, and the courage to question both external systems and internal narratives. Dr. Smith and Dr. Casperson’s candid dialogue is as validating as it is inspiring.

Transcript

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[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Welcome to youo Are Not Broken, the podcast that challenges everything we've been taught about midlife hormones and sexuality. I'm Dr. Kelly Casperson, board certified urologist, author, and a leading voice in women's sexual and hormone health. Enjoy the show, everybody.

Welcome back to the youe're Not Broken podcast. I have the immense pleasure of having Dr. Sunny Smith on my podcast today because I've known Sunny since before the podcast bp.

[Sunny Smith]

BP before podcast bp.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

So, like, long, long story very short, Sunny was probably my first time I was ever coached. I was on the weekend, I was headed to my office to go to the hospital to do rounds, but I knew this coaching hour with Sunny was, like, happening. And so I thought I would just log on and, like, see what happens and basically look at me now. So let's start with that. Let's start with that story and, like, how you remember it, Sunny, and when. And welcome to the podcast.

[Sunny Smith]

Yes, yes, yes. And look at me now. Well, I mean, I remember it very

similarly to how you do. And you came on and, you know, like the leader and winner that you

are, you raised your hand right away.

So you were the first person that I got.

Coach, I don't have time to wait around.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I got to go around.

[Sunny Smith]

Like, let's get this done. I know.

So you came on and you told me, okay, so I'm a urologist and I have this idea. I want to talk about sexual medicine. I want to have a podcast. You know, I'm kind of like dabbling in this.

And I was like, hold up, hold up our language.

Because coaches tell you your thoughts matter, your narrative and your perspective. It really, really matters. And I said, are you dabbling or are you really committed to making a difference in this? And you said, oh, I'm committed. I'm doing this.

And I said, okay, because it's a

decision to be made whether you're dabbling or not. And then we spent the rest of the coaching session talking about whether you were dabbling and what a dabbler would be doing and what someone who is really committed to this would be doing. And that contrast for you was so stark that you were just like, I'm decided I am not a dabbler. I am doing this.

And if I'm going to not dabble,

I said, okay, so what would someone who's not dabbling do?

You're like, I would go make an llc, but now I have to come

up with a name for it.

And then you're like, well, should it be this or that or this?

And I was like, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you decide. And you're like, I've decided. This is a real thing. Now I have to go tell my

husband, like, I'm making a company. I was like, yes, you are. You're making a company. And so now every time that you achieve something amazing and impactful in the

world, you kind of tag me or reply to me.

Not dabbling or just over here dabbling. Like. Like, over here dabbling with Oprah, over here dabbling with the fda, over here dabbling. And it's like, that is the difference between committing to something and really being

dedicated to going all in and taking it seriously. And I think a lot of women in particular are taught to sort of downplay and be humble and sort of, oh, I'm just dabbling in this.

It's like, no, I'm taking over the world.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

If you're dabbling, the critics won't hurt you as much because you're not out there and announcing.

[Sunny Smith]

Right?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Like, there's actually, I think, a lot of protection in being a dabbler to. You have to become the person who doesn't. Isn't dabbling, Right?

[Sunny Smith]

Because you're just minimizing. You're minimizing your accomplishments. You're minimizing your possibilities. And if you introduce yourself, hey, I'm Kelly Casperson, and I kind of dabble in podcasting and sex medicine.

Then they're like, okay. As opposed to. You're like, hey, I'm Kelly Casperson, and here's my. Like, the level of achievements that I

have done in this world. It's just the way you present yourself to everybody and to yourself and even to your family. The first person you said you had to tell was your husband that you were no longer dabbling. And then you go forth as if you're owning your space. And I think that's really beautiful for all women, including you. Everybody listening. Look at what happens when one woman physician decides to own her space and own her expertise. We all have expertise that we downplay, and we're told not to brag Right. And not to be too big for our britches, but here you go. Every one of us, every one of us has expertise in our lives and in the world and speak your voice and take up space just as you did. It's an epic, epic story.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah. It's such a good story. And like, there's so much ownership that comes. Somebody asked. I was somewhere on the Internet and somebody was like, how did Kelly Casperson get so elevated? Agent stylist, wanting to have some sort of outside circumstance as the reason for my success. And I was like, fuck off. I was like, there was no agent or anybody that got. I'm like, this is hard work. Like, this is hard work. And that's the other thing too. If, like, if you look at somebody's success, don't ever downplay it for one second that it wasn't incredible hard work where, like, nobody was watching for a very long time. Nobody else gave me my success. Like, this was all me.

[Sunny Smith]

Yes. It's not agent and agent, it's agency. It's your own internal agency. You chose that agency that you were going to go out and make a difference, as you said, when no one was listening and no one was watching. And you said, this is important. People need to hear this. I need to speak. And why not me, right? Why not? You own the space.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

The other thing for me was I was waiting for permission because I was like, this guy that I, that my brain had picked was going to call me on the phone and tell me I knew enough and why don't I start a podcast? Like, that was my brain's plan for, like, when I knew enough to do this, right? And I got out of the shower one day and like lightning struck and was like, the only permission you need is your own.

[Sunny Smith]

Absolutely.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

And I was like, that's it.

[Sunny Smith]

Yes.

Yes. If women could, everybody listening think give

yourself a permission slip. What is that thing that you needed? Like a letter from the principal when you were little, you know, a permission slip to go do something, write it for yourself. What is it? Saturdays off a babysitter?

Right.

Time to yourself.

Like, those are little things.

But it's also speak your voice. It's what are the. To not let your mother in law bother you to go for the promotion to what are the things that we need to buy? The fancy thing. What is it that we're waiting for someone else to give us permission? And the truth is we are the only ones who can ever give ourselves permission. Because even if someone else does give you permission, you can still hold yourself back. Right.

Like, if that dude had said, hey,

why don't you go make a podcast? You're like, well, I don't know. It really comes from giving ourselves. What do we want to give ourselves permission for? The big things, the little things. To let ourselves off the hook, to say no to things, to say yes to big things and just begin again. And the compound effect of doing that over time is basically the results that you're seeing. The compound effect of doing that over time is unimaginable.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah. So for anybody who's like, they're just lucky.

[Sunny Smith]

No.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

That is the story society wants you to believe for, like, hard work of like. No, you work very hard.

[Sunny Smith]

Yeah. Isn't it like luck favors the prepared or something like that?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Luck finds people who are working. There's something like that. It's like, yeah, good fortune finds the person who's already putting in the time. You have two, I mean, you probably have seven, God bless us all, two pretty powerful health stories. And I want to share them with people because for multiple reasons. But I think there's something that's happening in 2026, started in 2025. Women and people are realizing the gender disparities in healthcare. And it's something that I think female physicians have been talking about for a while, but the general population, I see it a lot on my Instagram now. How come we have six different types of Viagra? How come we have over a dozen different types of testosterone? How come we had an incorrect box warning on vaginal estrogen for 25 years? Right. Like the gender disparities in healthcare. And I think that the normalization of that and people really wanting to feel validated by hearing these stories. So I wanted to. If you would like to start with your story about you in residency training and what happened the documentary and fill me in because I don't know this whole story.

[Sunny Smith]

Yes. So I was an intern in family medicine at Santa Monica UCLA before there was work hour restrictions. So that meant that they could work you as much as they wanted. And so we would take 36 hours. I'm sure. I don't know when you trained, but if you did train when I did, then you. Everybody took 36 hours of call.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Work hour restrictions, came in halfway through residency for me.

[Sunny Smith]

Yes.

Yes, beautiful. So exactly. I came In a healthy 20 something year old, you know, no problems at all in the world. Start taking call. Started on those hard call months that I had, like obstetrics or we did pediatrics at a very busy place where there wasn't anyone to, like, push people to the MRIs or draw the neonatal blood in the middle of the night or any of these things.

Like, all these things that now they're support people for. We were those people.

And so during those times, I would get these focal neurologic symptoms, which were bizarre and very real. So I would take call, be up, start feeling a little bit off, and then suddenly, like, one time I was in obstetrics at Cedar Sinai taking out someone's staples from their C section, and all of a sudden I was like. And the patient was trying to talk to me, and I was like, I couldn't talk. I had aphasia, which for those who don't know the word aphasia, it means you can't speak. But I knew what I wanted to say, and I knew what was going on, but I couldn't speak at all. Like, it just made no sense to me. And so the patient got out of the bed, she gave her husband a little baby.

She put me in the bed.

She went and got the nurse. They wheeled me down to the emergency department. And over time, it improved and got better. And my studies were normal. And they're like, well, you know, we'll have you go see a neurologist. And various things kind of like this kept happening, strange things. And the neurologist was like, well, you know, it's very stressful being an intern. And, you know, it could just be migraines. We don't know what it is. And, you know, don't worry. And I was like, I'm $100,000 in debt. I worked my whole life to become a physician, and I'm having things where suddenly parts of my body don't work at all. I'm worried. And then I happened to be. Since I was in Los Angeles, I was being filmed for this documentary. I didn't sign up for it. It was right before reality tv, but it was documentary. And it later showed on Discovery Health and the Learning Channel, dlc. So they cut from that scene where he's like, don't worry. And I'm like, I worry.

To me, going in an ambulance because.

To the hospital, because I had been. I drove down to the sort of Hollywood, you know, where the stars are on the ground. It's the man Chinese theory. You put your hands and feet in the ground. So I had just driven with my grandparents there, and thank goodness I had just pulled over the car and gotten out and walked there and. And I told my grandparents, I said, oh, I don't feel well. And So I squatted down to the ground. I'm like, I don't feel well. This kind of thing happens sometimes. I don't know what it is. My arm started shaking. I'm like, this happens. Don't worry. And then, of course, I fell over. And it turned out that I had status epilepticus, which is a very prolonged seizure. And so all those things I've been having were focal seizures. But no one thought I had a focal seizure. They just thought I was kind of a stressed out, anxious young woman, maybe with some headaches. And so I didn't stop seizing for a long time. They put me on a lot of medications, intubated me, and so I went into the icu, and I didn't wake up for a week. And they didn't know why I wasn't waking up. And if I'd ever wake up and if I'd ever be the same or if I'd be okay or if I'd be sunny. And certainly no one thought that I could be a doctor. And so finally, once I did wake up, they gave me, like, a month of some kind of, like, behavioral science slash vacation slash something so that I could recover. I was pretty out of it and needed to go to PT and relearn a whole bunch of stuff and was overdosed on Dilantin, so was, like, really out of it for a while. And then when I went back to work, all I ever wanted was to just go back to 36 hours of

call every three to four days like everyone else. Right?

Because everyone was actually kind of mad at me for being intubated in the ICU because they had to work harder and they had to cover my shifts. And so it's just that speaks to the state of burnout and the culture of medicine, of how hard we are working people that obviously, they had some sympathy for me or cared for me, but they're like, but I have to take her call. This is bullshit.

I'm like, how much more sick can

you be than intubated, unconscious, comatose in the icu. And people are talking about how unfair it is to them, but. Right, okay. And actually, three people at my internship, in my residency seized that year because we were all working so much. Mine was just the worst.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

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[Sunny Smith]

my class and another person in a senior class who was like an Olympian. I mean, these are healthy people. And I found out during my follow up that across the country, intern sees this is something that happens. And sleep deprivation causes seizures. And so I stayed on the medication and I just wanted to go back to call. And now in hindsight, now after having this second episode, you know, that I'll talk about in a second knowing how fragile and precious life is. This version of me that's now 50 years old. When I look back, I would be like to take radical responsibility for what happened to me, right?

Like to just be like, okay, what

could I have done differently? And I'm definitely not blaming myself or gaslighting myself, but looking back, I'd be like, hell no.

I just had a seizure and almost died. I'm not going back to 36 hours of call. Are you joking? What, are you trying to kill me?

No. I get to have like, ADA accommodations.

Like, it was very clear that I

had something very real and I just went back to work. I mean, I had, I had to not take call past 10pm for a little while, but I stayed on seizure medicines the whole residency just to be able to stay up in inhumane ways. And so this, there's actually clips of this. This was pre YouTube right before then, but there's clips of it in a documentary right now called do no Harm, the Hippocratic Hoax, where people can see me literally intubated and unconscious. And it's like, how is this okay? And we're like, all okay, just go back to work. Good luck to you. And so there's a whole conversation to be had about the medical culture that normalizes all that. But then there's also when we talked about agency and autonomy, like, I was so young and naive, I didn't know to say my life is way too precious, right? To be my own best advocate and be like this. This is not happening. This has happened to others. We need to stop this right now. And even if you don't stop it, I'm not going to be complicit in this. I only came to that realization, like I've thought the medical culture caused this this whole time, and that's a tragedy. But only this past year was I like, wow, life is the most precious thing there is. It doesn't matter that medical degree, that practice, that hundred thousand dollar loans. I could have been dead. So that's what matters most, is if any of us are here and alive. You have breath, you have everything you need. And then you just get your agency and try to figure out how you can advocate for yourself in whatever way that is. And if where you're advocating isn't working, go somewhere else and advocate where someone's going to listen.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yes, totally. And as much as you can. I mean, what would you have done if a senior physician was like, hey, maybe don't do this, Or a parent was like, hey, maybe don't do this? Like, what if there was that grounding outside voice? Do you think you were too indoctrinated to be like, I gotta keep doing this? I don't see this could be any job, right? But they don't see that there are any other options, right?

[Sunny Smith]

Negativity or any kind of bias, whatever narrows your vision and narrows your focus. You can only see what you can see. And their brain also has confirmation bias, right? So reticular activating system activates and goes to look for what you tell it to look for. So like when you get engaged, you notice everyone's engagement ring. When you're pregnant, you notice everybody is pregnant around you.

When you buy a red car, you

notice the same car. So I was like surrounded by people who everyone's like, you have to do it this way, you have to do it this way.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Furthermore, we're disappointed in you because I had to take more call.

[Sunny Smith]

So I'm like, I better get back to work and relieve everybody. And I worked my whole life for this. And plus, don't forget the whole determined, you know, physician is like, don't tell me what I can't do, right? I'm gonna do it. I'm not disabled, I'm not a problem, I'm strong, I can do this. I'm gonna achieved everything I set my mind to. But that's the wrong frame, right? The frame is, this is bad for your health. You had a completely life threatening illness that could have changed your brain forever. I mean, my brain was never really quite the same after that. Why go back to something? I just. I couldn't even imagine anything else I could have done.

Like, what would I do?

Yeah. This happens to lots of doctors, lots of professionals, but in particular, doctors who are thinking of stepping back. They're like, what else could I do? Like, I know to the general public, people think that, oh, we're smart and we have options, and they don't think that. Physicians do not think they have any option because we're trained to do one thing. And how does that transfer? People don't feel like a transfer.

And I was like, what am I

going to do with my $100,000 in

debt and no job?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

And you're like, I'm actually very good at this one thing that's killing me. Fast or slow?

[Sunny Smith]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah.

[Sunny Smith]

Wild.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

So then fast forward. You lived an exceptional life. I'm skipping many. I'm skipping many, many years.

[Sunny Smith]

Oh, my God.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

And then the new run in with the American health system was. Remind me, I'm trying to remember, was it after Covid, you went into the emergency room?

[Sunny Smith]

Okay, so this is a story about. I mean, if the last one had a little bit of medical gaslighting, not listening to someone. This one is like that, on steroids.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah.

If anybody was wondering, have things gotten better since we were in training? Let's tell. Let's tell you this story.

[Sunny Smith]

Yeah.

So I think a lot of women will see themselves in this. Perhaps not to this extreme, but that people aren't listening. So I was going with my son, who was 11 at the time, and our dog to the grocery store two days before Thanksgiving to buy a bunch of stuff. And I drove there, and I was fine. And as I was walking down the aisles, I started feeling really lightheaded and really weak. So I made it back out front. I sat on the curb, and I was like, oh, my God, there's something wrong with me. I say to my son, like, go get me a soda or something. Maybe my sugar is low. Like, something. I just felt really, really off all of a sudden. And I was like, I can't get up. I can't drive. I can't stand. I literally couldn't stand. And so I was like, okay, I'm going to try and crawl to the stop sign so I can, like, maybe get up and we can get an Uber home. I couldn't even crawl. Nothing. I just suddenly was incredibly weak. And so I had My son call 911. The ambulance comes, they pick me up off the ground, put me in the Ambulance on the gurney, and my vitals are tachycardia, and I'm feeling terrible, and I'm kind of panicked and, you know, like, what's going on? Shaking all over the place. And they call into the hospital. When I finally get to the hospital, they're really busy. And so they leave me there with the ambulance for half an hour since they didn't have a room for me. They then decide they're going to put me in the lobby. And I don't know this is exactly going on because I'm so out of it. And so they put me in this chair and they're like, sit up straight. And I'm like, I literally can't sit at all. They put me in the chair and my head is touching the ground, and they're like, sit up. I'm like, I can't. Literally can't. So they push my head back up so that I'm trying to sit. It falls back forward to the ground. Meanwhile, my little boy, still there holding our little fuzzy shih tzu dog, witnessing the whole thing. And I'm like. When I see that they're trying to take me not into a room, I say, you know, this is gender bias. I'm a woman. You think I have anxiety. I have a critical illness. I'm a physician. I need to see a physician immediately. And I didn't know what I had, but I knew there's sick and not sick when you're a physician, right? When lay people say they're sick, they

mean like, I have a cold.

When a physician says, this patient is sick, it's the same exact word. But what we mean is, this patient could die. That's literally what we mean. This patient could die soon. This is a sick patient. So I was trying to use that

language and communicate, but they thought I was using the layperson language, right?

And so they changed my chief complaint because they can't put me with the vitals I have in the diagnosis that I have in the lobby, but they want me in the lobby. So they change my chief complaint to anxiety, and they put me in the lobby and I don't really know.

I'm in the lobby.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

For people who don't know, that puts you at the back of the line because that's not. That's not life threatening.

[Sunny Smith]

That's not life threatening at all. Even though I came in by ambulance and had abnormal vitals, they thought my abnormal vitals. They were telling me, stop breathing so fast. Your heart's going fast because you're breathing so Fast. I'm like, or I'm dying. Because dying people get breathing fast and heart rate right fast. So I'm out in the lobby and I sort of come to enough to realize I lift up my head and I'm like, oh my God. I'm in the lobby all by myself. It's just me and my kid and my dog in the lobby. So I start screaming that I need help and so they call security on me. So they.

What happened right before that is that

I have to go to the bathroom because it ends up that I have Euro sepsis is like the end to the story. Which, by the way, I had not been put on vaginal estrogen to prevent urosepsis. It's a preventable diagnosis with vaginal estrogen that you always talk about. But I wasn't taking it, so I had to go to the bathroom and they wouldn't help me go to the bathroom. So I fell completely onto the floor, laying flat on the floor in the hospital. And they said, get up, get up, get up. You're causing a scene. I was like, I'm sick. And so then they called, they said, we're gonna call security. I was like, good, please call security. Call someone, call the police, call anyone. I need someone, please call me someone. So the security people come over and they put me up in the chair and I was like, please call doctor. Please, please, please. And he says, I can't, ma'. Am. He was like so nice looking me right in the eye with the other security all around me. He's like, I don't have the authority to call a doctor.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Women who come to see me are leaders, role models and nurturers. They've dedicated their lives to supporting others, often at the expense of their own self care. This is why my passion is helping midlife women rediscover the confidence that comes with prioritizing their own health and well being. Vaginal dryness is a painful fact of life for so many women in menopause. But it doesn't have to be yours. My first line treatment for my patients is vaginal hormones. However, I also recommend VIA by Solve Wellness. Via is a non hormonal vaginal moisturizer featuring hyaluronic acid that replenishes your body's natural moisture and is safe for daily use. To learn more about Via Vaginal Moisturizer by Solve Wellness, visit viaforher.com that's V I A the letter4her.com where new customers get 20% off their first purchase for an additional $5 off Via use coupon code D R K e l l y 5. That's Dr. Kelly 5. Clinicians can request patient education materials and samples by visiting hcp.solvewellness.com so then I

[Sunny Smith]

realized at this point that my whole body is shaking so hard. I was like, oh, my God. I have rigors. Rigors means type of shaking that people get, uncontrollable shaking that you get when you have a blood infection called sepsis. So I was like, it just came to me after I'd been there for, like, an hour on the ground, being yelled at and being called disgusting and despicable and all this stuff for being stopped, causing a scene. And I'm, like, begging for care, and

I'm like, I'm not okay. And then I tell my boy, I'm

like, mommy's gonna be okay.

I'm gonna die.

Mommy's gonna be okay.

You know, what do I do? Because no one's tending to my son this whole time.

So finally, you know, like an hour or two, start telling people, I think I have sepsis. Call a code sepsis. It's 50% fatal. I'm like, I'm a doctor.

You can Google me.

Sepsis.

50% fan. Really? Like, there's.

There's stroke code. There's heart attack for chest pain, and then there's code sepsis.

Like, there's not that many codes.

You just don't call that many. So I'm like, yelling these things out to them so that the people behind the thing can hear me, the nurse close to me can hear me, the security can hear me. I'm like, get me a doctor.

Call a code.

Sepsis.

I have riders. I can't sit up.

I am critically ill. And they just kept telling me I had anxiety and to stop it. And they were gonna if I didn't. So then eventually, finally, once I get taken, they call security on me several times. Eventually, once I get into the triage room after hours, then they put on my ekg, and they're like, stop moving.

Your EKG looks terrible. It's moving all over the place. I was like, that's because I'm sick. That's why my EKG looks terrible. And they're like, well, we want you to do some breathing exercises. And I was like, oh, my God, Call a doctor. Breathing exercises.

And they're all the while documenting in my chart how terribly sick I am and saying the things that I'm saying. And they're saying, like, patient is lying on the bedroom floor saying she's. I mean, not bedroom, bathroom, floor. Saying she's unable to get out. Patient is sitting with her head touching the floor in the wheelchair. Patient is saying, I need a doctor. Patient. Like, they thought they were helping their case because they thought that I was just being obnoxious. So they thought that they were trying to document my obnoxiousness. And then so finally I'm like, even if I am a psych case, because I'm just saying everything I possibly can,

Any data I know, any advocacy I can do. Like, even if I'm a psych case, I deserve medical care. You could give me, like, anything that

you need to give me.

You could give me Ativan. You could give me whatever.

Just get me to see a doctor. Everyone deserves care. I need care. And I was like, I'm gonna code, right? So then, anyway, I started. Then at that point when they had the EKG on me, and I was all curled up in a ball. My hands were curled, my elbows were curled up, my knees were curled up, my jaw was clenched.

I couldn't. I was like, jaw clenching. Do I have hypocalcemia? What am I? Like, I'm going through all this differential

out loud with them, trying to.

And they're like, you have anxiety.

I'm like, ah. So finally, I get this feeling suddenly of impending doom, which doctors hear about, but it's this idea that the patients get that, oh, my God, I'm gonna die right now.

Like, inside your body. You're like, oh, my God, I'm gonna die. Like, this is it.

I'm really gonna die. And I'm surrounded by security with my little boy holding our dog, and the nurses aren't even close to me, and, like, nobody is helping me medically, and I'm just like, I am gonna die. I am gonna code. I'm gonna. And so finally, they're like, well, if we can't make your EKG normal, we're gonna put you back out in the waiting room.

Which I was like, you're threatening me. You're literally threatening me to put me back in the waiting room because I

have an abnormal ekg.

This is not normal. And they're like, well, you need to

stop shaking, because we can. So then when they brought the. The doctor in to see the ekg, he just told everyone, immediately, clear out. And he's like, I. His first words, I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. Because I had such tachycardia and ST. Segment changes, and I was clearly critically ill, and so he took care of me right away. So that is the story of the I'm an English speaking, white educated, full professor who worked in an emergency department who knows how to communicate very clearly about my exact diagnosis and communicate very clearly repeatedly that it's 50% fatal. And they kept telling me I had anxiety and kept calling security.

So anyway, anyone who's a doctor who's

listening, my lactic acid came back at 5.6, which is very ill, like critically

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

intensive care ill, incompatible with functioning physiology.

[Sunny Smith]

So no wonder I couldn't sit, no wonder I couldn't stand, no wonder I couldn't even get up from laying on the ground at all. And no wonder I was a little bit altered in my mental status. Trying so hard to communicate but not able to. And my whole body all clenched up. 5.6 is really terrible. And so the minute that the labs came back, then they started treating me and I was like, and this is a standard of care just for the listeners who don't know. Every doctor would know, but this is a standard of care that every hospital in the whole country must meet. It's door to IV antibiotics less than an hour because people die from this. And if you don't meet that standard of care and have screening criteria for it, you're in trouble with the hospital systems and the nursing systems and the overseeing governing bodies. And this was a huge miss where I truly think if I had been, because I'm in San Diego, California, so like if I had been a minority, non English speaking person, I think I would be dead.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah. You advocated the best you could and nobody could have done it better than you.

[Sunny Smith]

Right.

And I was telling him this is gender bias.

I am a woman. Imagine my vitals if I was a man. Right. If you have a pulse of like 150 and you roll into the emergency department as a man, what are the chances they're going to call you anxiety 00.

They're going to get an EKG on you. And even if he said he's anxious,

if his pulse is that fast, they're going to get an EKG on him. Right. I'm 50 years old. A 50 year old man comes into the emergency department with tachycardia. What are they going to do right away?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Heart attack until proven otherwise.

[Sunny Smith]

Exactly, exactly. All it was was my gender.

And I just kept saying, and they even documented in my medical chart, patient is saying this is gender bias.

And we're calling this anxiety because she's a woman. It literally says that, that.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Holy.

[Sunny Smith]

I know, yeah. So I'm working To get the. My goal this year has been to get the footage from the hospital, because at first they were saying that they wanted me to speak to their department. The head of the hospital called me and asked me if I wanted to speak at Grand Rounds. The next time on Anchor Bias. I was like, I think it's gender bias. He's like, I think it's also anchor bias, because once one person calls you anxiety, everybody signs you out as anxiety.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Oh, interesting.

I had not heard that term before. You're validating the people on your team, basically.

[Sunny Smith]

Yeah. So just like any of your listeners who have some kind of issue, if they're getting labeled in the chart a certain way, then the next provider and the next provider that sees them is more likely to continue this chart lore or this bias that you have what someone before you said that you had. And so he wanted me to come talk about that. But then as I was continuing to ask for the video, because, again, it looked like a scene from Cops. Anyone who's old enough to remember Cops

is like, all the.

All the security people, all the police around, and there's, like, scuffles and all this stuff. I was like, I would have been better off, like, on the street than in this hospital, because every time I asked for help, I was criminalized, basically. And they called, like, a code green

because I was, like, a threat to others.

I'm like, I can't get off the floor.

I can't even move. How am I threatening others?

For people to realize it's not just these, like, outpatient things. It's not just hormonal things. It's the whole entire system. We have been taught, like, history. Hysteria is a woman with a meandering uterus that's making her crazy. So that's what I was assumed to have with hysteria at that time.

Right.

And so just. You're not crazy if people don't listen. Right? They just.

And also, if you want to give

them any kind of, like, understanding, people sometimes don't know what you have. Like, for all the women who listen to your podcast and go in with all these symptoms. And I had been going in with random symptoms before I got on hormones, and I had asked for hormones, and people had told me, you're still having a period. You don't need hormones yet.

I'm like, have you listened to Kelly Casperson? Please. My friend. My friend, the dabbler, she's doing some work. Literally, the first time I was prescribed hormone therapy, I told her. I told the person. When she told me that she's like,

you do not need hormones. You are still having period.

I was like, please look up my friend Kelly Casperson. Please, please look her up. And then I'm gonna go somewhere else

and get my medical care right now. And then, anyway, we finally did that. So, yes, people's often. They just don't know. Sometimes they really, truly are not.

Like, those people didn't think they were gaslighting me.

They thought they were right. They thought I was a crazy, obnoxious woman. And the people who are writing off your audience, the doctors really don't know. And so I used to teach on hypertension at the medical school, and it's called benign essential hypertension because it was thought to be benign and essential. And it took a long time. That's what it does with aging, is what we used to say. And so I would teach things about, like, former presidents who. The trajectory of history and the world wars would be different if we had treated their hypertension, but we didn't. So they would die of a stroke with a blood pressure of like, 300 because we didn't know to treat it. And it takes years. It's like, how do you take these years and decades of transitioning from where everyone used to think hypertension was benign and essential to getting people treated? And this was something that would kill people. And so to look at how we. How can we do this now with something that is. With symptoms that seem much more vague to many.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah, well. And I think the belief. And I just saw this in a physician Facebook group. They're like, is menopause the new hysteria? And There were several OB GYNs who said, I'm an OB GYN. Yeah, this is. People just need to deal with aging better from the words from the physicians. And so I. I rarely write in groups anymore. I'm like, I see what the zeitgeist says, and I move on. But I was like, hysteria was real. Menopause is real. It's time to start believing women. And then multiple physicians were like, thank you very much. I agree.

Blah, blah, blah.

But it's the culture of replacing ovarian function. Like, even the belief. Are ovaries worth replacing? We are not there yet. That is not a universal. Yes, that is a 5% of the population. Yes.

[Sunny Smith]

No. I just saw something recently, too. You and I are in similar groups, many of us women physicians are, where they said, you know, what do we do with the needy perimenopausal person and these needy patients? And they had, like, they were really trying. They Were like, I have these things and these things and these things I do. And I was just like, so needy. Calling us needy.

It's like, that's pejorative.

I see that you're like, I commend you for trying to want to treat these people better. That was the request. How do I treat these needy people better? I'm like, and please look at your bias. Would you label someone with a broken leg as needy or not?

Or would you be like, this person has a broken leg. Let's give them a cast. This is what we do. Bones can heal.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Thank you for tying this so nicely into coaching. Because we aren't aware of the power of our thoughts. Maybe I'm not aware of why we shouldn't call these people needy. The power of what we say is so profound and we're so oblivious to it.

[Sunny Smith]

It. Yes. We think we're just reporting the news.

These are facts.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

These are facts.

[Sunny Smith]

These are all facts. It's a fact.

My doctor won't listen to me. Like I get in your audience. That probably feels very true. I would say that thought probably doesn't serve you because how does that thought make you feel? It makes you feel frustrated. And then so what is your action?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

You give up victimy.

[Sunny Smith]

Yes.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

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[Sunny Smith]

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[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

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[Sunny Smith]

We are no victims. We have even those people on the other side who wouldn't Listen to me. I was like, listen to me, right?

Because.

But if I'm like, they're not listening to me. That's disempowering. If I can be like, agency, you are going to listen to me. Here's some facts I know. Here's some facts I know. Here's some facts I know. Somebody start listening.

Hey, will you help me? Will you help me?

Will you help me? So if you're thinking your doctor's not listening to you or all the doctors aren't listening to you, right? These sort of, like, broad, sweeping statements can be very disempowering. And so it could also be a fact. You can narrow it to the specific scenario, which is, this doctor isn't prescribing hormones for me today. That is true. If you look at this doctor isn't prescribing hormones for me today. That's a very different thing to doctors won't listen to me. And so, okay, this doctor, it's today. So maybe we just bail on today, or maybe we bail on this doctor maybe. Because you could still say, like, there's lots of experts out there and I'm gonna find one, and it's up to

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

me to find one. But nobody's gonna be like, here's the one for you, right?

[Sunny Smith]

And it's both. And it's not like we're saying, like, you're the bad person for not finding someone, right? We're saying the medical culture is what it is, misogyny is what it is, and the patriarchy is what it is in medical history is what it is. We acknowledge all those things and we say, what you think about this matters and how you feel about this matters and what you do about this matter. So we all have agency, even when you have, like, so little ability to do anything. I remember, for some reason, this just came to my mind when my brother was really sick and he was intubated in the ICU and they had to do a trach. He couldn't talk and he still would use his eyes. And we were, like, trying to figure out. We were like, should we get letters? Should we do? And I was like, this guy has so much agency, he cannot move out of this hospital bed at all. But he knows what he wants and he is communicating it to people. And so I feel if we can just always remind ourselves that no matter the situation, there's some place that we have control. And there's so many things that are outside of our control. And especially in the types of things that you talk about, there's so much that is out of your control. But there is, there's always something that in your control and that's how you're going to choose to see it. And again, you don't want it to seem gaslighting to say that to someone. So it's acknowledging that there's challenges out there. And what do you control? Whenever you're ready for that part.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Let's go. Let's go to like somebody who's never heard of coaching, has never been coached, but, you know, blank slate, Right?

[Sunny Smith]

Okay.

This is like you. This is like you when you first came to me. Exactly.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

It's like, it's like, how do you work the magic of how do you like, like crack the door? Is it like you repeat the thought back and start like, how do you like. What's the intro coaching 101 thoughts. Create your feelings, create your actions, create your results. Thoughts are optional. They're powerful and you can pick them. Where is this intro book? Because I'm like, oh God, is this book three? But I want basic. I want intro baby step, third grade reading level, basic coaching stuff.

[Sunny Smith]

Well, what I would say, if you're looking for a book, one that is not bad, is Kara Lowenthal's unfuck your brain book. Is that the name of the book itself?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah, that's a good book.

[Sunny Smith]

It's the name of the podcast.

I'm just making sure that's the name of the book too. Anyway, Carl Lowenthal, I have a copy

of my in the closet, but that's good.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I've read it. Thank you for reminding me of that book.

[Sunny Smith]

For a book that talks about how your thoughts create your feelings. And it's a. And it's from a gender specific way. So I think it could be really powerful introduction if people want to look at that. That for me, there's your thoughts you can look at and then there's your feelings. And I think both can be super helpful. So one thing I could say is like, if you're telling me your doctor won't listen to you, I'd be like, well, how do you feel? Frustrated. Okay. And I'll say you feel frustrated because. And then whatever they insert there is a thought. They think it's a fact, but it's a thought I could have said when I was on the hospital floor, I'm feeling frustrated. I was very, very, very frustrated. And you could say, why? I would say because no one is listening to me. And that's what my thought was. No one is listening to me. And is it true? Yes, there's truth to it. But is the thought no one is listening to me going to help me? No, it's going to make me feel frustrated. So I can say, like, your feelings. I think one thing that's important about coaching, we tend to focus a lot on the thoughts and so all. Like, if you were talking to me, I would just mirror back a thought. What we did, the example we gave, is dabbling. You're like, well, I'm dab. And so I just mirror and I say, back your thought. And a lot of our thoughts are really limiting beliefs. So if someone said, no one will listen to me, I would say, no one. So there's that mirroring back your thought. Because when you hear your thought back at you, you're like, oh, and say we say something that's derogatory about ourselves. Like, I look terrible in these jeans.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Putting on muscle is hard.

[Sunny Smith]

So I could also say we could do the thought. And how does that make you feel?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Feel stuck.

Challenged. Yes.

[Sunny Smith]

Yes. So when you feel stuck, what do you do?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Nothing.

[Sunny Smith]

Nothing. So then the thought proves itself because then it stays hard. Right. And then. So sometimes I'll do. I'm learning, right? Because you don't believe something else. You don't believe that putting on muscle is easy. But I'm learning. Or maybe, or it's possible that maybe, just maybe, it's not as hard as I think it is or something. And we ask them to come up with something that makes them feel a little bit stuck. I say, well, what would make you feel a little bit less stuck? I think the feelings. We have evolved over hundreds of thousands of years, millions of years, whatever, with feelings for a reason. Feelings guide us. Even before we had language. Our animals don't have the same kind of language we do, but they all have feelings, and those feelings guide them. And so if we're feeling frustrated or stuck or sad or angry, those feelings are there for a reason. They're trying to tell us something. They're trying to get our attention. So it's like, okay, I feel angry. You feel angry because what? So feel. Name the emotion. What do you feel? And then say, because. And whatever that thing is, that's the limiting belief.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I credit coaching for, like, validating feelings. My big joke is surgeons have one feeling. It's tight, right?

[Sunny Smith]

Surgeons have feelings, right?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah.

[Sunny Smith]

Yeah.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Well, we have one. It's tight. Especially if you grew up in a household told where feelings were not safe or welcome. And then you go through medical training where any sort of body Sensation is ignored. And so it's like you come very honestly to the point of like, feelings are bullshitty. So you kind of have to learn like, no, no, no. Like when you learn like the wheel of feelings, right. You're like, whoa, there's a lot of words to describe these things.

[Sunny Smith]

Exactly. And maybe this is like a little

bit more advantageous than the 101, because the 101 might start with just the thought, thoughts. And some people can sometimes come into the thoughts a little bit more easily. And so I could pick any one thought and say, how does that make you feel? And if we know that our thoughts sort of always are proving themselves, then be careful what you think and what you say is the default because you're going to keep proving it. True. Like those people who think the COVID vaccine is not real, they're going to keep finding evidence for the COVID vaccine not being real.

And me, I think Covid vaccine's real. And so I'm going to keep finding the evidence.

So if you find whatever you're believing, you're putting on these roads, rose colored glasses or these dark colored glasses, whatever it is, and it's not like toxic positivity or some kind of whatever BS type of thing, it's real. It's neuroscience confirmation bias. Right. As we said, is real. So you can start with the thoughts and look at what kind of results are your thoughts creating in your life. And if you look at any of your results, you can be like, how did I create this? Or which part did I contribute to this? Just like me taking those 36 hour calls, I contributed to that in some way because I went back and I chose it. Like, how could I have chosen different results? How can I create different results? I think the sort of. If that's like 101, 201 is really. And I think it's even more powerful. As you said, how do you feel? Name an emotion and as you said, validating the emotion. Because not all thoughts are valid. Right. There are thoughts that are lies, that are flat out lies.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah. And society might have put it in your brain. It might not actually be your thought. You might actually disagree with it.

[Sunny Smith]

It.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

But it's. But it's just a thought.

[Sunny Smith]

Most of the limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves and the world around us are inserted from someone else. We get so much from our upbringing, from our family of origin, from what they thought of us, from what culture thinks of us, from what the patriarchy thinks of us. And so they get inserted in your head and then it sounds like your own voice, but it's not. You got that from somewhere else. So thoughts can be questioned and should be questioned. Feelings are all valid, just like you said. Feelings are real. If you feel scared, you're scared. If you feel happy, you're happy. It's not like you're lying that you feel scared. No. Your reasoning might be erroneous, but the feeling is real. So it's like, what is the feeling? Why is it there? And do you really believe what that thing is that you're scared of or feel? Especially when people feel stuck? When people. Because you mentioned something where lifting weights is hard. I feel stuck. Feeling stuck is. There's something that you need to learn. None of us are ever really stuck. Are we in cement up to our eyeballs? No. Like, we're clearly not stuck. So it's always something that's very coachable every time somebody feels stuck.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah. I had a patient recently that the thought was, I'm doing everything I can.

[Sunny Smith]

Right.

Right.

That is a paralyzing thought.

I mean, you think it feels powerful

because you're doing so much. But.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

But this was a very. A very, like, leading to the feeling of disempowerment.

[Sunny Smith]

Right.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Like, I'm doing everything I can.

[Sunny Smith]

Yes. Yes. And so I think that revealing. When I say, how do you feel when you think that?

And they'll be like, well, I feel like this person is a jerk.

I'm like, that's not a feeling. What's the emotion that you feel?

Well, they are a jerk.

I'm like, okay, but what's the emotion that you feel? Right. I'm doing everything I can. And so if I ask enough, and then sometimes I have to put out feelings like frustrated or sad or whatever, and then they'll be like, oh, okay. And they say what it is? And I go, okay. So that makes you feel sad. Is there any other way that you want to look at it? So just. If we just look at what the feeling is. Because it's not. Whatever. If you haven't lost weight, if you haven't gotten the prescription you need, if your hot flashes haven't stopped, if you what? A lot of people, you know, believe they have a contraindication to hrt. For instance, people who listen to your podcasts probably will be less so than others. And so they feel stuck and they feel frustrated. And we say, why?

Right.

So how do you feel when you think, I can't take these. I feel whatever. And we go, okay, well, do you want to explore something different?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

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[Sunny Smith]

at the feelings that come from our language, we think it's the circumstance. So the circumstance in that situation would be like, say you've had a pulmonary embolus, a blood clot in your lungs. That's the fact I can't take hormones because I had a pulmonary embolus is a thought that is evolving over science. Because we think that science is. I mean, obviously we made a mistake for the past 20 some years, but we think that it's accurate. And the thing is, it's the best that we know right now. And when I would give talks at the medical school, we'd say, the thing is, half of what we taught you in medical school is correct. We've been saying this for, I don't know, nearly.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I've heard this in med school and it stuck with me.

[Sunny Smith]

It's half of what we've been taught is correct. The problem is we don't know which half. We really don't know which half. And data will keep choosing. So the whole thing about that I have a pulmonary embolism, I can't take take hormones, so I feel frustrated. Okay. The fact is you had a pulmonary embolus. We have a lot of thoughts different doctors are going to tell you about this and pick. It doesn't have to be pulmonary embolus. Could be whatever scenario, you know. Okay, so your thought could be, I'm Going to speak to three different experts about the risks and benefits for my scenario. That's a more empowering thought. And then you'll come up with, okay, three different opinions about what to do and you could come up with a thought. And I am going to make an informed choice choice based on what I want to do with my hrt, based on my mom had breast cancer, I had endometrial cancer, I had like whatever the circumstances are. Saying to yourself, I'm going to make an informed choice. I've decided not to take hormone therapy. Right, that makes sense because you could go to a country where hormones are over the counter and buy whatever you

want if you really wanted to.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

You can get testosterone in the airport in Mexico, my friend. Next to your cheeseburger and cerveza.

[Sunny Smith]

I'm in San Diego, so people got a lot of things here that they were not prescribed. So just saying we're not as powerless.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah, totally. Thank you so much for joining me this hour flew by. Tell everybody about empowering women physicians. I know it's not for everybody. You have a niche coaching business. There's a million physicians, a few hundred thousand women. Few hundred thousand women physicians. Tell us real quick about that because not everybody knows the amazing help you offer.

[Sunny Smith]

Yeah. So I now full time run a coaching company called Empowering Women Physicians. And we help people are always like, what do you coach on? I'm like, any issue a woman physician has. That's how coaching works. So any issue that women physicians have, they come to us. And physicians like I have a podcast with the same name Empowering Women Physicians. And people who are aren't physicians listen to it and they're like, so physicians are just people too. And like they have issues too. They have insecurities too. And they have issues with their spouse too.

And they are worried about money too. And they want to quit their jobs too. And they write everything that a human

being listening to this has. Women physicians have those same issues too. We are people just like everyone else and have the same psychology as everyone else. So that's what we do. We do it in one on one and group coaching. And it's been an incredibly meaningful thing to be able to do in the world. And you are one example of the types of differences that it can make when you help someone shift one thought just a little bit. And then the compound effect of them doing that over time changes the trajectory of their lives. So it's incredible to be able to spend time with people and do that with them.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

It's a thought. I'm choosing to believe everything in my life right now is because of coaching.

[Sunny Smith]

Oh, I love this. I love that thought. And you know what? I have the same thought because my life has changed so much because of

coaching so much in the most beautiful way. So I couldn't agree with you more.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Yeah, it's super powerful. I. It's like eight fruits and vegetables, a liter of water, eight hours of sleep, some exercise and coaching.

[Sunny Smith]

Exactly.

Because reframing your thoughts, it changes the

power to know you can.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

I love the humility of it. I think there's something very. Whether this is spiritual or not, I'm gonna choose to say it's spiritual to realize the humility in. Like, you could be wrong, right? Like, maybe not. You know, I just think there's something so beautiful like it is. I think there's a little bit of ego work there.

[Sunny Smith]

Right?

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

Of like, if you think you're so the time and you're never wrong and you should never question anything that you think, like, try the opposite of that. See how it goes.

[Sunny Smith]

Yes. Oh, like Byron, Katie, the Work. Anybody here who wants to Google and look up Byron, Katie the work. Whether you pick one thought that's causing you a lot of pain and you just ask yourself, is it true? Is it true? Yeah. And you can always find that it's not true.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

It becomes a playful trick at some point. Oh, my friend Sunny Smith, it's been a long time coming to have you on the podcast like episode in the mid-3002 at this point and. And this is a perfect place for you to come in. So thank you so much.

[Sunny Smith]

Thank you so much for having me.

It was so much fun.

[Dr. Kelly Casperson]

If you found this episode funny, helpful, insightful, please take a moment to follow rate and share the youe Are Not Broken podcast with someone who might need this conversation too. That support is how this information reaches more people. And thank you for courses, books and my monthly membership and the Caspersen clinic information. Visit KellyCaspersonMD.com this podcast and all content from Dr. Kelly Casperson is intended for educational and informational purposes only, and this is not a substitute for individual medical coaching or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your qualified healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding your health. Never disregard or delay medical advice advice because of something you've heard on this or other podcasts. Thanks for being here. And remember, you are not broken.