The #1 Thing White People Love 🎙 #336

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Betcha Radio – "The #1 Thing White People Love" (#336)

Release Date: July 23, 2025

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Introduction

In episode #336 titled "The #1 Thing White People Love," host Myles, known as "Myles the You Betcha Guy," along with his co-hosts Ryan, Tyler, and Jared, delve into a myriad of lighthearted and humorous topics. From quirky cultural observations to personal anecdotes, the gang offers listeners a blend of Midwest charm and comedic insights.

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1. Out of Office Emails and Vacation Auto-Replies (00:00 - 02:31)

The episode kicks off with Myles returning from a three-week hiatus, sparking a discussion about the frustrations of standard auto-reply emails. Ryan and Jared share their annoyance with the abruptness and thread-creation issues of typical "out of office" messages. Myles references Trevor Wallace's comedic take on vacation replies, highlighting the need for more thoughtful and creative auto-responses.

Myles (00:28): "Trevor Wallace actually had a pretty funny video. It's like people's vacation auto reply... I'm on vacation."

2. Stuck Songs in Our Heads (02:32 - 04:14)

Transitioning from emails, the conversation shifts to the persistent presence of children's songs that adults find themselves humming continuously. The hosts reminisce about nostalgic tunes like "Hop, little bunny hop" and "We've had 'Going on a Bear Hunt' stuck in our heads for three months."

Tyler (03:22): "We've had 'Going on a Bear Hunt' stuck in our heads for three months."

3. White People and Clapping Habits (04:15 - 07:20)

Myles introduces an intriguing observation: white people have a penchant for clapping in various situations, extending even to car alarms shutting off. The group humorously debates the appropriateness and frequency of clapping, questioning what truly deserves applause.

Myles (06:05): "I unlocked a new. White people love clapping for car alarms stopping."

4. Navigating Bear Encounters (28:00 - 36:45)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Tyler’s encounters with bear intrusions near his home. The hosts discuss the challenges of managing wildlife, with Tyler sharing a close encounter where a black bear stood just 20 yards away. The conversation delves into the complexities of obtaining nuisance tags and the difficulties of dealing with bears that aren't causing immediate harm but pose potential future threats.

Tyler (29:09): "I walked off around the corner of my house. And then legitimately, 20 yards for me is a little black bear just standing there."

5. Tattoos: Expression and Meaning (37:00 - 55:58)

The dialogue shifts to the topic of tattoos, exploring the motivations behind getting inked. The hosts debate the significance of tattoos, especially those representing loved ones, and discuss the idea of temporary versus permanent tattoos. Jared, Tyler, and Ryan share their hesitations and ideas about tattoo designs, emphasizing the importance of personal meaning and thematic consistency.

Tyler (50:08): "It could look cool. And it doesn't need to be anything."

6. Buying and Selling URLs as Investments (13:26 - 67:01)

Ryan introduces a unique venture: purchasing and holding premium URLs with the expectation that they will appreciate in value. The discussion highlights the speculative nature of this investment strategy, comparing it to a diversified portfolio where success hinges on a single high-value sale. The hosts humorously critique the practicality and risks involved, while also acknowledging its potential profitability.

Ryan (13:37): "Ghosty’s been on a hair lately. Everyone knows the tagline. Now you see me, now you don't."

7. UFC and "Gloves Off" Segment (70:00 - 83:58)

In a new segment titled "Gloves Off" hosted by Ryan, the conversation shifts to the world of UFC. Ryan provides a brief overview of recent fights, including Dustin Poirier's retirement bout against Max Holloway in Louisiana. The segment aims to offer concise UFC insights, though the hosts humorously critique the brevity and format of the new addition.

Ryan (71:11): "The gloves just came off of arguably an all-time legend... Dustin Poirier’s retirement fight this last weekend."

8. Fun Facts and Random Banter (84:00 - End)

As the episode nears its conclusion, the hosts engage in spontaneous discussions, sharing fun facts like the world record for the longest continuously observed rainbow and contemplating whimsical inventions like flamethrower-equipped trucks. This segment underscores the show's playful and unstructured nature, allowing the hosts to explore diverse and quirky topics.

Jared (81:34): "The world record for the longest continuously observed rainbow is 8 hours and 58 minutes."

Conclusion

Myles and his co-hosts wrap up the episode by emphasizing camaraderie and inviting listeners to stay tuned for future content. The blend of humor, personal stories, and cultural commentary offers a snapshot of Midwest life through a comedic lens.

Myles (83:43): "Thanks for tuning in to another episode. You Betcha Radio podcast. Stay good out there and we'll see you next one."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Myles (00:28): "Trevor Wallace actually had a pretty funny video. It's like people's vacation auto reply... I'm on vacation."
• Tyler (03:22): "We've had 'Going on a Bear Hunt' stuck in our heads for three months."
• Myles (06:05): "I unlocked a new. White people love clapping for car alarms stopping."
• Tyler (29:09): "I walked off around the corner of my house. And then legitimately, 20 yards for me is a little black bear just standing there."
• Tyler (50:08): "It could look cool. And it doesn't need to be anything."
• Ryan (13:37): "Ghosty’s been on a hair lately. Everyone knows the tagline. Now you see me, now you don't."
• Ryan (71:11): "The gloves just came off of arguably an all-time legend... Dustin Poirier’s retirement fight this last weekend."
• Jared (81:34): "The world record for the longest continuously observed rainbow is 8 hours and 58 minutes."
• Myles (83:43): "Thanks for tuning in to another episode. You Betcha Radio podcast. Stay good out there and we'll see you next one."

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Final Thoughts

Episode #336 of You Betcha Radio delivers a mix of humorous observations and engaging discussions, reflecting the hosts' camaraderie and Midwest roots. Whether debating the quirks of auto-replies or sharing wild encounters with wildlife, Myles and his team offer listeners an entertaining and relatable experience.

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the you betcha radio podcast. The boys are here. We're feeling good, Ryan. How you feeling?

[Ryan]

Feeling great, Feeling great.

[Miles]

Hello. I just got back. I've basically been out of office for three weeks.

[Ryan]

Oof. You know how your email auto reply on though? I should try getting a hold of you through email. Couldn't.

[Jared]

Gotta get that figured out.

[Miles]

Trevor Wallace actually had a pretty funny video. It's like people's vacation auto reply. You send an email and the guy's like. He's like, all right, send email. And then he comes busted in with a Hawaiian shirt immediately, I'm on vacation. Yeah, it was great. Very aggressive. Yeah, it should be like. It should have like at least a five minute buffer.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Because it's just immediately. And also the thing that's irritating about it is it should just go in the thread. Right. So if I send this email, the reply underneath that should be that and instead it sends you a whole new email thread.

[Ryan]

I hate that. You're right. I never even. I guess I never even noticed that, but you're exactly right.

[Miles]

It's annoying.

[Jared]

That's gonna annoy me.

[Miles]

Yeah, just. Just don't send emails then. That's what I try and do.

[Ryan]

Sometimes I'll set mine on like a Tuesday or something just for fun. I don't feel like. It's like I'm having a movie day in class. The teacher doesn't want to talk movie. I don't want to talk auto reply out of office. I'm just not in my office currently.

[Jared]

Or the auto replies just sounds good.

[Ryan]

Circle back Monday.

[Miles]

Yeah. And it's like the email is like you're being sued by someone.

[Tyler]

You can just change it to. No.

[Jared]

No. Huh.

[Tyler]

Hey, man, how are we doing on those orders? No.

[Ryan]

Yeah, people aren't getting creative enough with. With out of office emails.

[Jared]

Right.

[Ryan]

We gotta spice it up because it's so dry. I don't know.

[Miles]

Anyway, yeah, I might do like a. Do a video, you know?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Can you have an auto reply with an embedded video?

[Tyler]

I'm sure you can.

[Ryan]

I could just do a gift.

[Miles]

Yeah, like, sorry, I'm currently out of office. I'll respond when I can. In the meantime, here's the music video to the. To the song Don't Blink by kids.

[Jared]

Just like, it's a YouTube. That would work.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's not dope link, but at home I've started the bit of whenever my kids are just being terrors and my wife is stressed, I just start to sing. You're going to miss this.

[Ryan]

Yeah, good one.

[Miles]

I got to want this back. Yeah, that's good.

[Ryan]

Yeah. If, like, the decibel levels in the room reach, like, a certain amount, your phone automatically just plays that, odds are.

[Tyler]

Your kids are screaming. Yeah. You get program Alexa to do that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

She's always listening anyway.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

I've also now reached the point where I Now the only songs that get stuck in my head are children's songs.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Hop, little bunny hop, hop, hop, Hop, little bunny hop, hop, hop.

[Tyler]

We've had going on a bear hunt stuck in our head for three months.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

My newest one, big one.

[Miles]

My newest one is down by the bay where the watermelons grow.

[Ryan]

I forgot about that one. That's catchy.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Also, there's a kid's song about. I. I got a little bumblebee. My mom's gonna be so proud of me.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You guys know that one? Yep. What a. What a diabolical song. Just squish out of it. Oh, ouch.

[Tyler]

It stung me.

[Miles]

And it's like, why would your mom be. Why would your mom be happy about you squishing up a bumblebee?

[Tyler]

And the most messed up part about that song is it's not just a bumblebee. It's a big baby bumblebee.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I'm squashing up my baby bumblebee.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You sick, crazy things you learn late in life.

[Miles]

Yeah. I'm surprised that. I'm surprised that song didn't get canceled.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Well, then there's also no, like, prior education as to the importance of bees and why we shouldn't squish them.

[Tyler]

True.

[Ryan]

You know, so just go straight into squishing them, and then that's. That's why people do it. Yeah.

[Tyler]

We can't be squishing pollinators. Squish the wasps.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared]

There we go.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. It's like the band books, you know, that was a thing. It was like, our school was like, anti banned books, so we didn't have banned books. I remember English teacher would get all. We were like, you know, you shouldn't be banning books. Blah, blah. Should be banning songs like that. Just can't be.

[Jared]

Yeah, the Christmas songs get canceled, too.

[Tyler]

They do.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Banned song list, baby.

[Tyler]

It's cold outside. It's not playable on the radio anymore.

[Miles]

Crazy. Very.

[Jared]

I love that song.

[Miles]

If that song's wrong, I don't want to be right. So I've been running around, you know, shooting content, doing all that, and I noticed something. Something happened that I thought Was interesting. So white people love clapping for things. We all know that. You know, we all know that when the plane lands, white people clap. But I found a new thing that white people love clapping for. And we were shooting something, and there was a car alarm going off for probably, like, a full minute. And then as soon as the car alarm went out, stopped. As soon as the car alarm stopped going off, everyone just started clapping.

[Ryan]

Really?

[Miles]

Yeah, it's. I unlocked a new. White people love clapping for car alarms stopping.

[Tyler]

I think it might be any alarm, because I remember, like, in college, they would. The fire alarm would get pulled in the dorms, and when the alarm went off, the kids would start clapping and go back into their dorms.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

100% does not follow protocol. They just go right back in.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

No, they evacuate, and then when it.

[Tyler]

Stops, everyone collapse, and you go back. And we just. Love the ending of alarms.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Tyler]

I just start clapping in the morning when I finally get out of bed to my alarm.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That's literally what I was just gonna say. Like, my wife finally starts clapping when I have hit the snooze button four or five times, and it's. It's over.

[Tyler]

Y. Yeah.

[Jared]

Or like, white people at Hibachi Grill, they always clap.

[Miles]

Yeah. Anytime there's a lot of fire, people will clap.

[Tyler]

You know, I went to Superman in the movie theater not that long ago. There was a couple scenes where people started clapping during the middle of the movie.

[Ryan]

The movie.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

White people are getting out of hand with clapping. We need to check ourselves. We need to do a hard look in the mirror and go, what actually deserves a good clap? You know?

[Tyler]

Yeah, we're. We're clapping is losing its effectiveness.

[Miles]

Yeah. Because clap for everything. You clap for nothing.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Sorry. Back to the movie thing. It'd be a great. Great way to tell who's doing the popcorn trick. When someone starts clapping and their hands get stuck together.

[Tyler]

Maybe that's what I was hearing. It was behind. I did bring my kids to that movie, so I hope they had a little bit of restraint. It was. It was hands and not cheeks.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

The DMV one. Like, when your number at the DMV gets called, that'd be a great place to start clapping.

[Tyler]

Even if it was.

[Ryan]

Even if it was just you, you just start clapping.

[Miles]

Let's go.

[Ryan]

Employees would be so much more pissed than they already are.

[Tyler]

That deserves clapping way more than the car alarm getting turned off.

[Miles]

Yeah, 100%.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Like, when you. When you get pulled over, like, and you just get a warning and your Entire car starts clapping once the. The officer starts walking back. Another great spot to start clapping.

[Jared]

Hands on the wheel.

[Tyler]

You know why I pulled you over? Yeah, I was clapping on the interstate.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

My successful lane.

[Ryan]

I wasn't super.

[Miles]

The other thing I also noticed. So you know how you say like a litmus test for someone's a good person or a bad person is if they leave their shopping cart out in the parking lot. Found a close cousin to it is if you are on a plane and you're staying seated because you no reason to get up until your row is whatever. And the person behind you stands up and you're trying to get up and they go in front of you. Very irritated.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And like, I understand if you're in her in a hurry to catch a connection, but you're not just gonna jump one row.

[Miles]

No, no, no. This was no connection. We got into Fargo last night at 11pm he was not catching a connecting fight.

[Tyler]

No chance.

[Ryan]

Well, you know, been parked in short term when he should have been a long term. And just. Just to decre. You know, I don't know.

[Miles]

I'd love to give this guy the benefit of doubt, but data is. Is not good in his favor.

[Ryan]

Yeah, no, you're right.

[Miles]

And it was like he did it. And like across the way I looked at the guy and we both kind of went like, what's this guy doing? And it's like it. It doesn't matter that he did that because it's what, three seconds longer? But it's more so just like a courtesy thing that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, well, especially in. Yeah, in Fargo too. We're in the heart of the midw year.

[Miles]

On my travels as well. I was in California and we ate dinner and then we went to a small town. Not small town, but just like a dive bar right on the beach. And we walk in. This is probably on a Wednesday night. And. Great dive bar, by the way. I don't remember the actual name. I. I will remember because I was with dude dad and Pen holderness.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

And we walk in and Pen buys us all matching hats with the name of the bar.

[Tyler]

Did you wear them during the meal?

[Miles]

This is the. Just the bar after.

[Tyler]

Sorry.

[Miles]

But yeah, we wore them the whole time we were at the bar. So there was like five of us, six of us all wearing the same hat. It's kind of a vibe. But I. I was shocked at something. So they had touch tunes, people were playing, and there was a lot of 22, 23, 24 year olds at this bar. Right. So I'M now to the point where we all stick out like a sore thumb where the old people there, old.

[Tyler]

Guys wearing matching hats and Penn has.

[Miles]

Like a 18 year old daughter so he's kind of plugged into the that age group somewhat. And we were talking about like what songs get all these people, you know, turned up and. And love it. And I'm like, oh, there's a bunch of young female gals in the bar. I'm like, if you play Pink Pony Club, game over roof gonna, you know, go off, right? And he goes, no, no, no, dude. Love Story by Taylor Swift is going to. And I'm like, song is old. Like we, you know, that was our age group. There's no way. So he goes to touch tunes and plays both of those. Pink Pony come Pink Pony Club comes on. The crowd goes mild. Oh, Love Story by Taylor Swift comes on and everyone loses their mind. I am officially old and don't know what. Wow.

[Tyler]

See when you said could not believe it.

[Miles]

What. What year are we in that you got people at the bar losing their mind to Love Story by Taylor Swift.

[Tyler]

Because I like that. Can't. Okay, Taylor did just re release everything.

[Miles]

That is true.

[Tyler]

So it might be at the top of the charts again.

[Miles]

That's true, that's true.

[Tyler]

But when you said Pink Pony Club, I couldn't have agreed with you more.

[Miles]

Yeah, like I've seen and. And it's probably more our age group that lose their mind, but I've seen groups of gals lose their mind over that song. Yeah, not the young kids.

[Tyler]

We are out of touch.

[Miles]

We are out of touch.

[Ryan]

It could be a geographical thing too, you know, California versus if you saw it on Minnesota or. Yeah, everything tends to.

[Miles]

But yeah, I got bested by Penn who's 50 years old on what the young kids want.

[Ryan]

What was the reaction from your group when. When he got. He got the claps and you didn't?

[Miles]

Yeah, I got the shame bell in my face.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I had to trade in his hat for a dunce cap. Big cone.

[Miles]

All right guys, it's time to play prize picks for the week right now prize picks will give you $50 in lineups. When you play your first $5 lineup, win or lose, you'll get 50 bucks in lineups. Use promo code YBR when you sign up today. Well, boys, what are we playing today? This is what I like to call the dark night of the soul. For. For prize picks lineups. And we are betting on video games.

[Tyler]

Yes, we are.

[Miles]

Oh yeah. Yes we are. And I would like to say that I made my pick off of if I liked his name or not.

[Tyler]

I did the same thing and we'll see if.

[Miles]

See how it goes, I guess. So I, I chose Ghosty. You guys know Ghosty?

[Tyler]

Yeah. 100 Thieves.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, he's. Yeah, he's on 100 Thieves, which we all know. 100 Thieves. Yeah. Right.

[Ryan]

Boxers.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 100 Thieves. They sell them at Target. You can buy the underwear. I think he's gonna have more than a 1.02 KD ratio.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Oh yeah, I like it.

[Miles]

Ghosty's been on a hair lately.

[Tyler]

He moves like a ghost.

[Miles]

Yeah, Ghosty. Everyone knows the tagline. Now you see me, now you don't. Yeah, you're Ghosty.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

I'm gonna go with Mercules. He's. He's like Hercules but at murking people murking. Yeah. I think it's through maps one through three. He's going to have more than 57.

[Miles]

I think that's a shoe in, you.

[Tyler]

Know, lock that in.

[Miles]

If it was just map 2, I'd be concerned because that's a tougher map. But if he can add in Maps 1 and 3, I think it's a no brainer. He's going to have 57 and a.

[Tyler]

Half kills and everybody knows he's a front three great gamer.

[Miles]

So yeah, he's murking.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

Jared kleenex. More than 28 map one kills.

[Miles]

Yeah. If it had been map two again, I would have been concerned. But because it is map 1. Easier map to be getting kills on.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So Kleenex is gonna be absolutely blowing the competition away.

[Jared]

Noob tubing.

[Miles]

Noob tubes. Yeah. Nukie Tukis. Yeah.

[Tyler]

And for the, for the noobs out there, those, all three of those guys are playing Call of Duty, just so you know.

[Miles]

Yeah, we're. Yeah, they're codding, which is short for Call of Duty.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So I, I if map 1 is Nuketown, Nukie Tukey. I There's just, there's no way Kleenex doesn't wipe up the competition. Ryan.

[Ryan]

I got res of the gamer legion. He's. He is playing Counter Strike. I went and I went a different little.

[Tyler]

That's all right.

[Ryan]

Mix it up and watch. A lot of Counter Strike lately. I think rez at less than 18 maps 1 to 2 headshots is the move.

[Tyler]

Oh, that's smart. Because of map two is tough. Yeah. Different game completely. But map two is always the hardest.

[Miles]

Map two will be tough to be getting headshots I like the pick. There's just not a lot of good vantage points in map two.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And I just realized that that game's being played at 3:30am on Wednesday. So hopefully you're listening to this right when it comes out at midnight or whatever.

[Jared]

Yeah. And then you can watch it while you listen.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Works perfect.

[Miles]

Yeah, no problem.

[Ryan]

So. And I mean rez, he tends to get sleepy around 2:30am So I figured the 3:30am Time slot is gonna be.

[Miles]

It's gonna be jet lagged. Yeah.

[Tyler]

That's the type of high level thinking that you're only getting on on this podcast.

[Miles]

Very true.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Jared]

Big brand.

[Miles]

So guys roll with us. We just. Yeah. This is gonna be a good week. I can feel it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

This is it. Everyone knows we're gamer guys. If Jake was in the room he would probably also agree. He's a big gamer guy. Yeah. So.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

So yeah. Use code ybr, test out prize pick. Oh, I just, I love a good dive bar.

[Tyler]

Oh it's great.

[Ryan]

Especially in a new locate location too that you haven't now have a hat from every time you wear that hat. Great icebreaker for anybody heading out to California.

[Miles]

Yeah, true.

[Ryan]

You know, I, you'll. Because you'll wear that hat frequently, I'm assuming.

[Miles]

Yeah. I almost left it in the hotel room because it's like a five dollar hat or whatever. But I was like, you know what? No, I'm bringing it home. Memories home. And now I think it's just like sitting on the floor in my bedroom. It's gonna end up getting slid underneath the bed and then I'll find it 10 years later and be like, oh.

[Ryan]

Remember that it made it out of the garage.

[Tyler]

I was just going to say that I thought sure to end up in your hat pile in the garage.

[Miles]

There's still time.

[Tyler]

There's still time.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

Gets relegated.

[Miles]

Yeah. One thing I recommend actually that I'm starting to fall in love with.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

So every time I get together with pen holderness, he does what I call a pen venture where he takes us on a culinary adventure.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

Now whether or not Penn knows a lot about the culinary arts and fine dining, I don't know. But the way he confidently says that he does, I believe him.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

So every time I have dinner with him in a group of people, I, we, we now he now orders a bunch of food for the table with confidence and gusto. And then it ends up obviously tasting really good. But I'm kind of addicted to one person ordering for the whole table. And doing family style at a restaurant that's not family style.

[Tyler]

So he's buying like. Like five or six entrees and. Yeah.

[Miles]

Like three apps and three entrees. And then we'll all just share it and do that. So I highly recommend picking. Pick the person that you think knows the most about the culinary experience and let them just run with it. I'm. I'm. I'm addicted.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

[Miles]

J.

[Ryan]

Have Jake bring you out night. He will. He'll give you the best culinary experience you've ever.

[Miles]

But I feel like if we were in a group, like, I feel like if we just let your wife just order for the table, I feel like we'd all have a good time.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, especially if it's a place you've been to. You know what's good? I mean, if we like, if we go to the, you know, the golf course restaurant, like, I would trust you and your wife to order what's good out there, you know?

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. It's probably situational.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But actually, like, if you have. If my wife orders for a table, it's just going to be like fried pickles. Fudgeing chicken Caesar wraps for everyone. And solid picks and sweet potato fries.

[Tyler]

Solid picks.

[Miles]

So.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Ryan does love Caesar wraps.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I haven't had one a long time. I love fried pickles. I love sweet potato fries.

[Miles]

Well, we were at a bar for bellied up. What was the bar again?

[Jared]

Wills Northwoods.

[Miles]

And they were talking about how they have the best chicken Caesar wrap in all of Chicago.

[Jared]

It's the top five chicken Caesar wraps.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Not even the best top five chicken Caesar wrap in Chicago. Just. Just. I. I suppose if you keep niching it down, you can be the best at something. But I will have to say best chicken Caesar wrap I've ever had. Now, I've probably only in the last 10 years only had 10 chicken Caesar wraps, but of those 10, definitely the best I ever had.

[Ryan]

We have a top five tomato basil chicken Caesar wrap with no onions.

[Miles]

Sounds good.

[Jared]

I'll eat it.

[Miles]

No, it was very good. So if you're ever in Chicago, you gotta get over to Will's Northwoods and have a chicken Caesar wrap.

[Jared]

It's a Packers bar.

[Tyler]

It is a Packers bar in Chicago. Ballsy.

[Miles]

Yeah. Behind enemy lines.

[Jared]

I like it.

[Miles]

I also had a bit with Anne a week ago or so where I. It's definitely. You've seen. That could be the move, guys. This definitely could not be the move. But I thought It'd be a funny bit. So we're getting into bed, and I was like. And we should just, like, switch sides of the bed. Dude.

[Tyler]

I. I just recommended that the other day, too.

[Miles]

Switch sides to bed every night. So every other night you're switching sides. That's crazy. You got to take all the stuff off your nightstand and move it to the other one every other night. Just, like, feels like you're constantly living in a hotel.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Just can't settle in.

[Ryan]

Yeah. See, my wife, she has our iPhone. Char chargers are not the same. She has, like, the last version. That would be an absolute nightmare.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, because I got my charger plugged in behind the nightstand. It's, like, pretty up against the wall. And so, like, I have to, like, move the nightstand, unplug my. Oh, yeah, nightmare.

[Ryan]

Yeah, like. Like, I have my. My little, like my pistol box essentially behind my. Nice end. Well, now you know what it is, but you don't know the code.

[Jared]

You have a gun bed too, so.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah, right. And, like, my code is different than hers. So if I, you know, if someone breaks in the middle of the night and I. I'm a code. Wrong. I have to move the entire nightstand. That's not ideal. That's why the gun bed's elite.

[Miles]

Oh. Oh, you have a gun bed? Well, I have a grenade bed.

[Ryan]

The whole bed just blows up.

[Miles]

Just go like this. There's two slots. I stick my hand in, and a grenade drops.

[Tyler]

When he pulls him out of the headboard, the pin pulls.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

He's got eight seconds to figure out if the intruder is legit or not.

[Ryan]

Bad idea.

[Miles]

Well, no, only when you let go of the pin. Yeah, yeah. You pull the pen and when you.

[Jared]

Let go of the.

[Miles]

The clip thing here.

[Tyler]

Whatever.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So.

[Ryan]

Ah, Dad, I didn't know you were coming over. At 11 at night, they just gotta hawk it out the window.

[Jared]

Where'd that pin go?

[Tyler]

Somebody get the lamp. I got two grenades in my hands. I can't turn it on.

[Miles]

Go in the shower.

[Jared]

It's like a dangerous game of Edward 40 Hands.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's a great question. If you had a grenade with the Pinpold, where are you going? And how long are you holding it till you release it? Like, what are you doing?

[Jared]

Is it both hands or one hand?

[Miles]

You have both hands on grenades, which is a liability. With my non dominant hand, I'm not gonna be able to throw it as.

[Ryan]

Far you could underhand it a decent. Like a decent length, though.

[Tyler]

I think I live 200 yards from a lake I think my move is I gotta walk those 200 yards to the lake, throw them as far out into the water as I can, and then hide on the other side of the ditch.

[Ryan]

Don't trip though.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, don't trip. You're right. Maybe I'd ask for a ride.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

But then, you know, if it's a gravel road or something, how you can.

[Miles]

Get the door open.

[Tyler]

Whoever's giving me a ride will have to chauffeur me.

[Jared]

I need a ride.

[Miles]

Yeah, I think I got a field by my house, so I think I just run as far as I can into the field and launch it as hard as I can.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you got to do dominant hand first, so you know that one's gonna go far and then try to switch to the dominant hand with the other one.

[Ryan]

Okay, this might. I don't know if this is a dumb question, but, like, how much force does a grenade need to have before it explodes?

[Tyler]

What do you mean?

[Jared]

I think it's just time.

[Tyler]

It's time. So, like.

[Ryan]

Oh, it's not based off of you.

[Tyler]

Push that lever down, pull the pin, and then when that lever gets released, it's a timed.

[Jared]

It's like seconds or so.

[Ryan]

It's the lever.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Okay. They don't explain that in action movies.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's true.

[Jared]

They don't.

[Miles]

That's why Call of Duty, the longer you hold the grenade when you release it, the shorter. Like, if you just launch a grenade right away, it'll be like five full seconds. But if you hold it and want to throw it something closer. Sure.

[Jared]

You like cooking it?

[Miles]

They should.

[Ryan]

Yeah, they should have like force explosion grenades.

[Jared]

Some do.

[Tyler]

Impact grenade.

[Ryan]

I mean, if you're looking for a place to throw a grenade, like if you had plans on like planting a tree in your yard or somewhere, like, just toss that way up in the air and just blow a hole in your yard so you don't have to do any digging.

[Jared]

That's a good.

[Miles]

Should be using grenades for landscaping. You are correct. You know, like, people will grind down a stump after they cut down a tree, just drill a hole in it, drop the grenade, run away, and then blow the stump out of there.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Could be the move.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I say a decent amount of money in rental equipment. You don't have a stump grinder.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Just need to buy a grenade.

[Tyler]

Yeah. How much. How much are grenades going for a piece these days?

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Jared]

I don't know if I want to Google that. Make it on a list.

[Tyler]

Can I get one of those at a local hardware store.

[Ryan]

You build one? Maybe.

[Tyler]

Just make one. I sure have the ingredients under my sink.

[Miles]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Tyler]

I have a box, a whole coffee can full of old nails and stuff I could use as my shrapnel.

[Ryan]

Throw it in your dumpster too. Could throw a grenade in the dumpster. I don't know. For some reason, dumpsters blowing up is awesome. I think it's way cooler than mailboxes because. Because they can fly up. Like, mailboxes can fly too, but they start out, you know, in the ground dumpster. You get that like 30, 40ft in the air. That's pretty sick. I've never done it.

[Tyler]

Are you blowing these up off?

[Ryan]

No, I've just seen it in person. No.

[Jared]

Oh, okay.

[Miles]

No, I one time put car tire underneath the thing of tannerite.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Miles]

And then we shot the tannerite and the. The car tire flew like a hundred feet in the air.

[Ryan]

That's awesome.

[Miles]

It was so awesome.

[Ryan]

Trying to get rid of a fridge. Do that.

[Miles]

Did that as well.

[Jared]

Microwave.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we gotta get more stuff up in the air with explosives.

[Tyler]

I got a defunct washing machine we could blow up.

[Ryan]

Where can we blow it up at? Can we blow it up at your.

[Tyler]

Your.

[Miles]

Have you guys seen online the guy who like, clears out like. Like, like ground hole systems where like, squirrels are underneath the ground or like, what else? Tunnels underneath, like, Wood chuck. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

He's got like a thing that kind of looks like a flamethrower, and it like, puts gas into the thing and then he like, hits it and it sparks it and the whole ground system blows up and.

[Ryan]

I know, but that is squirrel will.

[Miles]

Just pop up and be dead.

[Ryan]

That would be awesome.

[Miles]

Yeah. I shouldn't have given that idea to Ryan.

[Ryan]

No, I mean, what. I could start that. That big brush pile on fire. I could just. I could just blow it up.

[Miles]

I think the last person that needs a flamethrower in this world is Ryan.

[Jared]

Yeah, no go.

[Tyler]

It would be pretty entertaining.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it'd be good for getting ice off your driveway too.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Didn't some guy get in trouble for doing that exact thing?

[Ryan]

Well, I think he did in town. That's the thing. I'm out of city limits.

[Miles]

That's. That's kind of funny. Bed. Like, like. Oh, I could do anything because I'm out of it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. There's no city abide rules that I abide by.

[Miles]

I was burning my burn pile with a flamethrower. Relax. We're out of town.

[Ryan]

You can shoot any gun in the book. Well, I'm out of city limits.

[Miles]

Yeah, out of city limits is funny.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But there's a house right next to you.

[Jared]

Yeah, I can hardly see it.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

All great ideas.

[Miles]

Yeah. You can shoot anything your backyard, as long as you're out of city limits.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Speaking of shooting stuff in your backyard, I have a. I have a bear problem at my house.

[Ryan]

Now is there a problem or was it. Is it just an incident?

[Tyler]

So has a lot of potential to become a problem. So the other day.

[Miles]

Well, hold on, let's start. Let's start recent and then go back. So I was on the phone with Tyler last night.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

And I'm talking to Tyler and all of a sudden he's like, oh. And I'm like, yeah. I'm like, okay, this kid jumped off the roof again, broke his leg and now he's gotta go to the E.R. until I just goes, there's a bear like 30ft from me. I'm gonna go inside.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Well, I was on the patio just talking to Miles, just kind of walking back and forth on the patio. And I walked off around the corner of my house. And then legitimately, 20 yards for me is a little black bear just standing there. And I go, oh. And he looks up, we were making eye contact and I, I'm talking to Miles on the phone and I just, I pull the phone. I just said, hey bear. Hey bear. And then he took the off into the woods and I got into the house and continued the phone call inside.

[Miles]

How many times can one guy have run ins with bears?

[Tyler]

I mean, I, I do live out of town. So you're not. Yeah, I'm out of city limits. But this bear, he's been. This is the first time I've seen him. My wife has him on video just putzing around. Right next, the next to. We have this cement slab in our yard that we just put like our kids trampoline and their basketball hoop and stuff on. He's just right there chilling next to it.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's gonna make you feel good having three kids running around.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Ryan]

And a dog.

[Tyler]

Yeah, and a dog. And the dog has never once been like, weird. So either he's a useless guard dog or him and the bear are homies.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Cuz he's clearly stuck around for a while. But he hasn't eaten our bird feeders or gotten to our garbage yet. We move the garbage to the other side of the detached garage, so it's not by our house. But I don't know if he starts messing with. I'm Gonna have to get a nuisance tag. Take care of that guy.

[Miles]

There you go. Honestly, we may or may not need to revoke Tyler's man card.

[Tyler]

Oh, why?

[Miles]

Because he had a run in with this teensy, tiny bear. Like a cub? Yeah, that's the one. It was. And it was like 20ft, 20 yards away, and it clearly ran off. And he gets inside, and I'm on the phone with him still, and he just goes, oh, my heart is beating so fast.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was.

[Miles]

Wow. What a little girl. Wow. Like, the bear sees one bear and his heart starts beating fast. The bear.

[Ryan]

The bear still had, like, amniotic fear fluid on him. He was just born.

[Miles]

Yeah, I can't even bear.

[Ryan]

He's taking his first steps in Tyler's yard.

[Tyler]

That's. That's the worst possible scenario, is running into a cub.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but the mom wasn't mom.

[Tyler]

She's around. If you run into a cub, she's around.

[Miles]

Yeah, but I mean, come on, dude.

[Ryan]

Come on, dude.

[Miles]

Come on. No, man card. Revoke gets. Gets a. Gets. Gets a little scared over a little baby bear.

[Tyler]

He is definitely a last year's cub. So either mom just kicked him out, or she's still around somewhere. We sent the video to the neighbors, and they're like, yeah, we've seen him before. And we also have another, bigger one on trail camera, which is probably mom.

[Ryan]

Lurking in the woods somewhere, watching from.

[Tyler]

Afar, being smarter than the cub.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that doesn't help your cause either, Tyler. No. You got not only a baby cub, you got a really good dumb baby cub. And your heart started beating faster after you saw it.

[Ryan]

Wow.

[Tyler]

He was more. He did run away first, so.

[Miles]

Yeah. God. And wow. How are you going to protect your family if you get that scared over a little baby? Teensy tiny.

[Tyler]

I've killed more bears than bears have killed me, basically.

[Ryan]

He's got us there.

[Miles]

That's good. That's good. But you still. I mean, so when you go into your kid's bedroom and you see a teddy bear, do you. Is your heart start being faster?

[Tyler]

It depends.

[Miles]

It's basically the same thing.

[Tyler]

How close is it? How to get in here? Where's my grenade?

[Ryan]

Yeah, you're gonna. Yeah, you're gonna. You're gonna end up starting your pickup up. You're gonna. You're gonna leave the door open. You're gonna take off back to the house, and then you're gonna come back and this bear is just gonna be in your garage, and he's gonna be smoked out, and then you're gonna get in trouble by the dnr. Did you kill the bear without an out of city limit tag?

[Tyler]

If somehow that happened, I just throw him in the woods. I'd let him know.

[Ryan]

Incriminate yourself, dude.

[Tyler]

I. What am I supposed to do with it? I didn't shoot it.

[Miles]

It's true.

[Ryan]

Huh.

[Tyler]

So.

[Miles]

So you. How hard is it to get a nuisance tag?

[Tyler]

Pretty hard, actually. We have to have like proof that the bear is the one damaging property and is it is a danger to either life or property. Is the is the verbiage. So I have to like. I can't just have a broken down bird feeder. I have to prove that the bear was the one doing it.

[Miles]

Yeah. You got to turn this thing in your place in a Fort Knox. Cameras everywhere.

[Tyler]

I did put out trail cameras in the yard. So.

[Miles]

So what do you do? You. You get a nuisance tag for the teddy bear and Smokey.

[Ryan]

We'll call him Smokey.

[Miles]

I mean, I'm sure the mom will be milling around too. So you got to get another nuisance tank. I mean, this just started to turn to a nuisance, double nuisance nuisance.

[Ryan]

Trying to get a tag for whatever one.

[Tyler]

So what I think it is is we have a wild strawberry patch in our woods. So I'm sure they're shacked up there eating the wild strawberries and then also just popping over every time something smells good in the yard.

[Ryan]

If your kids are munching on a.

[Miles]

Good thing you're not. Yeah, good thing you're not a griller. Otherwise you'd have a whole colony of bears.

[Tyler]

He's dealing with them every day.

[Ryan]

Well, now you don't like you can burn half your garbage and then you can just leave the can out for. You don't even need a garbage service. Actually a great way to save money.

[Miles]

Yeah. Just leave the lid open. Yes. Actually, don't even put it in the garbage can. Just throw your garbage out into the yard.

[Tyler]

You guys are getting very close to what actual bear baiting is.

[Ryan]

I know that's what we're saying. You don't need a garbage service to say like 30 bucks a month.

[Tyler]

So it's actually going to be harder for me to get a nuisance tag since if mom is around because you're not allowed to shoot a sow with cubs. So unless she. She kicks, she'll him up soon because he's right. Right at the age where she separates with them. And how they get their cub to go away is they beat the out of it and chase it off. And then that's how mom separates and then goes. Has more cubs. So if she does that soon, that would be good for my nuisance tag scenario.

[Miles]

So wait, how they separate from their cubs? They beat the out of them so that they don't want to be around her anymore.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

That's so sad.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean, imagine.

[Miles]

Imagine if humans did that.

[Ryan]

Well, I think some turn 18.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Parents just beat the out of you when you turn 18.

[Miles]

Yeah. It was just like a rite of passage that everyone. It's like, all right, you're going to college. Get over here.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I was already going. You didn't need to do this.

[Ryan]

Take a couple fat licks on the lip.

[Miles]

That's kind of sad, actually.

[Tyler]

A little bit. I mean, some of them, they just scare them and they go. But a lot of the times the cubs are like, what's going on? And they just keep coming back to mom, and the mom will have to mess them up for him to leave.

[Ryan]

Huh.

[Tyler]

She's not, like, killing them, but she's swatting and biting and all that noise, Roughing them up.

[Miles]

Yeah. I might have to pitch this idea to Anne. All right.

[Tyler]

If he doesn't want to go to college and doesn't want to move out, like, I think I got a mama baron.

[Miles]

I think we do. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Do you want to do it or do you want me to?

[Jared]

Those goes.

[Ryan]

I'll be the out of it right now.

[Miles]

No, I'm joking. I would never do that.

[Ryan]

Oh, God.

[Miles]

No.

[Jared]

But easy way to get a nuisance tag is like, you love temporary tattoos. So get like a bear scratch temporary tattoo.

[Tyler]

Send him a picture.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like, so time out. How do you know that he loves temporary tattoos?

[Jared]

Because a few weeks ago he had.

[Tyler]

A fake tattoo, like, three of them on my arm. But kids, I don't necessarily love temporary tattoos of my children love them, and they like putting them on me.

[Jared]

So there you go. It scratched me.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I had a sick ass dragon fighting a panther at one point.

[Miles]

What would you guys do? I came back after a long weekend, and I just had two sleeve tattoos.

[Tyler]

I'd be all for it if they were cool.

[Ryan]

I mean, I'd just be waiting for the story on how you got those.

[Jared]

I would think midlife crisis.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, you got to be thinking that I'm going through something. Right.

[Tyler]

Also, if you came back after a weekend with two sleeves, that means you were under the needle for the entire 48 hours, completely exhausted. Yeah.

[Miles]

Completely drained.

[Ryan]

My guy. We got to get this finished before My flight on Sunday.

[Jared]

It's like Friday night.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

He's like, what do you mean? Just pull out Michael Schofield plans. You have. You have 48 hours to give me the Michael Schofield.

[Tyler]

What would you get if there's a gun to your head, you're getting two sleeves. You don't have to, like, specifically name it all, but, like, theme. What's your theme?

[Miles]

Oh, God.

[Jared]

Tribal Samoan.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Probably like Harry Potter. Non Hogwarts fucking 9 1/4 tattoo. That might be the worst I ever.

[Tyler]

Just a train sign.

[Miles]

No, people will just get the. The number 9 and 3 slash 4.

[Jared]

What does that mean?

[Tyler]

It's from Harry Potter.

[Miles]

Oh, that's like the. The platform for the. For the Hogwarts Express.

[Ryan]

It's where they just run through the wall.

[Miles]

See, that's like. The thing is, like, you know, Midwest stuff is like, inherently like, kind of just like not as cool, kind of innocent. Yeah, it's very innocent by nature because we're inner innocent folks, you know, like a court.

[Tyler]

And that's like. I mean, I've thought about doing this. I'm not gonna. But like a wildlife. We have cool wildlife.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. But then it's like, everyone thinks that you love hiking.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And craft beer. Yeah. Drink craft beer. You know, I'm into different types of beard oils.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You know, wearing beanies in the summer.

[Miles]

Correct. 100 Subaru. Yeah, Subaru with two kayaks on top.

[Jared]

Never use those.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Kayaks on top. And the bike on the mount on the back door.

[Miles]

But the bike's got to be one of those thick, wide, tired bikes. Yeah, yeah. 100. It's. So you can't go that route then. If you go, like, the cool, like, demonic route, then my mom's all mad.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

She's like, you know, you got a 666 tattoo like that. You're going to hell. Yeah.

[Jared]

You have to wear long sleeves all the time.

[Miles]

Yeah. She can't go that route.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Family heritage, you know, My last name is French. What. What cool tattoos ever come from Frenchmen?

[Tyler]

Oh, white French.

[Miles]

Yeah. Just get a white flag on my. You know, what are we doing?

[Jared]

Gonna get this bad boy colored in.

[Miles]

What am I gonna get a tattoo of Napoleon?

[Tyler]

Be a short tattoo.

[Ryan]

You can get the Eiffel Tower.

[Miles]

Yeah. Wow, that would be sick. So you can't go the family heritage route.

[Tyler]

You get a baguette on your forearm.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. So I can't go that route.

[Jared]

Mbappe.

[Ryan]

Mbappe. Yep. Legend.

[Miles]

What other routes do people usually go?

[Tyler]

You could Go. I'm thinking about getting all my favorite nerd symbols mixed together at some point.

[Miles]

Nerd symbols? You gotta explain to me.

[Tyler]

Like, from books like geek.

[Ryan]

Like 3.14.

[Tyler]

So like something from Red Rising, something from the Stormlight Archive, something from Harry Potter, that type of shit.

[Miles]

That would be so fucking nerdy.

[Ryan]

You're actually considering.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Why?

[Ryan]

What are you wearing?

[Miles]

You should considering.

[Tyler]

I dig it.

[Miles]

I mean, if you could make it cool. It's just.

[Tyler]

That's why I haven't done it yet. Because I got to figure out how to make them all work together so it's not just a. Like I have stamps on my arm.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You know, I don't want it to just be six random symbols on my arm. That would look stupid.

[Jared]

It's gotta flow.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

They gotta work together. I'm not doing it.

[Miles]

God. I just. Yeah, that's. I'm. I'm out on that. I think you could do it. Cool. So, yeah, I'm not like, waiting on the idea, but I'm trying to think of what I would do and I just. This is part of it. I just. I don't have any tattoos.

[Jared]

What about like OAR lyrics on your arm?

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

The original OAR album cover would be kind of sick.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it would. And you could blend it to fill the whole sleeve with your. Their first album cover blends into their. Your favorite album cover.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Miles]

Oh, we are live from Madison Square Garden.

[Tyler]

There we go.

[Ryan]

You get like the Pink Floyd album cover with the baby in the pool.

[Tyler]

That's Nirvana way up.

[Miles]

Nirvana. Yeah. Why don't you go ahead and get that report back? Yeah.

[Ryan]

No, I think if I were to get a big tattoo, it'd probably just be a big brush pile because I could. I could cover my entire body in one brush pile. Well, the flames, I think, would come up through the neck of my shirt, up towards my chest and be like, oh, why you have. Why do you have fire on your neck? It's like. It's not just fire on my neck. Just wait, let me take undress real quick.

[Jared]

It's really important to me.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah, I am. Big brush pile starts from my toes all the way up to my neck.

[Jared]

Yeah, it covers your whole body?

[Miles]

Yeah, I just. I. I don't. I don't think I. I don't think I can commit. Don't think I can commit. And it just. There's just. I make fun of too many stuffs for a living to be able to get a tattoo and not be backpedaling.

[Tyler]

In some Way, shape or form.

[Miles]

Correct. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Right. And you're a phase guy, so you'd be over that tattoo.

[Miles]

Correct.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

If they could do like, so, like temporary tattoos, but not like the, like ones your kids have. Like, ones that like, would last for like three months.

[Ryan]

Like a henna. Like a henna tattoo.

[Miles]

Like a henna tattoo.

[Tyler]

They make some that you can order that you app too. Like one you get out of the vending machine at the bar that lasts a really long time. So you can like sample your tattoo.

[Miles]

That's. That's my move. Right?

[Jared]

Test drive.

[Miles]

I'm a test drive type of guy.

[Ryan]

That would be. Actually be kind of sick.

[Miles]

You know, I'mma go to the grocery store and just have the samples. You know, that's. That's how I live my life. Just let me sample it. I don't want the whole thing.

[Jared]

Yeah, the tires.

[Tyler]

See if I can find the name of it.

[Ryan]

You are a big liquids guy too. You could just get a bunch of liquid on your body.

[Miles]

Yeah. Drip dripping liquid tattoo. I might have to test that out.

[Ryan]

With the liquid one.

[Miles]

No, that. The temporary tattoo route. That's legit.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we could do that as a bit. We all in a circle. Pick a temporary tattoo that lasts a few months for the person to our left.

[Miles]

No, you three can do it. How about I pick three tattoos for you guys?

[Ryan]

No, I'll do it if I can pick my own.

[Miles]

Yeah, I would. I would consider doing it if I could pick my own.

[Ryan]

I would do like a right arm sleeve.

[Tyler]

I think they call those. Those tattoos semi permanent.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah, I. I try semi permanent. I think I probably get my last name on the. Over the crop back all the way across my back.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Initials on the back sides of my triceps. Maybe some Chinese man. Some Mandarin symbols that mean like, tranquility. Yeah.

[Ryan]

John 3:16 on your calf.

[Miles]

Yep. We just. We'll try it all.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Maybe go the LeBron James Chosen One across the back. Yeah.

[Jared]

Witness.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I do the Conor McGregor chest tattoo. Full chest tattoo.

[Miles]

Tyler. What? You should get full chest. Make it. They would make lines to make it look like your skin is ripping open. Oh, yeah. And then we could have a teddy bear coming.

[Tyler]

So one of my best friends has a grizzly bear on his chest. That's like, coming out of it.

[Ryan]

Oh, no, actually, no, they don't.

[Tyler]

They do.

[Miles]

Like how big?

[Tyler]

Covers his entire left peck.

[Ryan]

Do I know him?

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Really?

[Ryan]

When did he get it?

[Miles]

Is he. Why grizzly bear? What's his. Is he a hunter?

[Tyler]

Yeah, big, big Time Hunter.

[Miles]

Okay. Okay. Yeah, that helps. I don't know if he was just fan of the Memphis Grizzlies or not.

[Tyler]

Yeah, he's a big loved smoky job.

[Miles]

Are they still the Grizzlies? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I didn't know if that was one. They changed.

[Jared]

They're really bad.

[Miles]

So there's.

[Tyler]

Are there even grizzly bears in Tennessee?

[Jared]

I haven't seen any there.

[Tyler]

It's got to be.

[Miles]

So I don't think.

[Ryan]

God. Grizzlies.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Well, I think they start off as the Vancouver Grizzlies, and then they move.

[Tyler]

That makes way more sense, I think.

[Ryan]

Are there Vikings in Minnesota?

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's where they.

[Ryan]

That's like actual Vikings.

[Miles]

Is that where they kind of.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Is there Mavericks in Texas?

[Tyler]

Yep, That's a horse.

[Miles]

Well, there's a lot of Norse heritage here.

[Ryan]

No, Yeah, I understand about actual Vikings.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's where they came to Minnesota.

[Ryan]

I know, but there. Is there an actual Viking in Minnesota?

[Miles]

Well, here's the question. If they're a descendant of Vikings, then yes. Yeah, they have Viking blood. Okay.

[Ryan]

They just don't dress like Vikings.

[Miles]

I mean, there are people who dress like Vikings. They usually go to the Vikings games.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

Sit in front row.

[Miles]

So you know which came first, the guys who dress up like Vikings or the Vikings? Minnesota Vikings.

[Tyler]

And I'm sure there were some guys in the actual Vikings that weren't really that into it, that were just kind of dressing up like everyone else.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

LARPing as Vikings during the Viking era. There's no giants in New York. That's true.

[Jared]

Crown city towns. That's pretty big.

[Tyler]

That's the Knicks.

[Jared]

He's big, though.

[Miles]

He's tall. Yeah, he's really tall.

[Tyler]

So no.

[Ryan]

Temp tattoos.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah, I. I don't mind. Like, I would. It's. Again, I'm a phase guy. I'd love to go through a mini phase in my life where I try out a tattoo, a semi permanent tattoo, and then I'll move on. Be kind of fun.

[Ryan]

I did get a hand because I.

[Miles]

Love the idea of being a tattoo guy.

[Ryan]

Yeah, me too.

[Miles]

But I just can't do it. I'm just not.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you would be a tattoo guy if you had time.

[Miles]

Yeah, I just don't have time to be in the chair that long. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Under the. Under the. Under the. Under the needle.

[Miles]

Yeah. You got any plans for new to a tattoo besides your nerdy one?

[Jared]

No.

[Tyler]

I think I'll probably get something for my kids eventually. I just don't know what it would.

[Ryan]

Be yet gotta get your last name.

[Tyler]

No, not doing that.

[Miles]

So this is gonna be. It's not a dick question. I don't mean this to be a dick. Okay. It's gonna come off like it is. And I'm. It's his general curiosity to someone who's considering getting a tattoo of your children is. Is loving them and being around them and being present with children not enough that you need to put ink on your arms?

[Ryan]

Curiosity question.

[Miles]

Actually, this is. I'm. I'm genuinely curious because I know people that have like, I know a guy who's like got his two daughters names on his. On his arms. Why do we need to be doing that?

[Tyler]

I mean there's. There's a very simple answer and then there's also a deeper one.

[Miles]

Okay, let's hear.

[Tyler]

The simple answer is if you do it right, it could just look cool.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

And it doesn't need to be anything. And then the deep answer is like, there's a rich history in putting something on your body and it having a symbolic meaning.

[Miles]

Got it.

[Tyler]

That is a deeper level than just there's this thing on me now. It's like a deeper connection to the thing that you put on you forever.

[Ryan]

Well, it's like getting the, the Yellowstone Dutton Ranch brand on your body.

[Tyler]

You know, kinda actually like that's for life. Like, you're right. You're in.

[Miles]

So why do people put their wives names out them then considering that they could get divorced?

[Tyler]

Like your kids.

[Miles]

Your kids. They're your kids for like there's nothing that can stop them from being your kids.

[Ryan]

But you know, like, like imagine, imagine if the astronomer CEO had like a portrait of his wife on his chest or something.

[Miles]

Yeah. Pretty awkward now.

[Tyler]

It would be very awkward.

[Ryan]

Very.

[Tyler]

Because your wife is literally the, the only person in your life that you choose to love. In your immediate family. You don't pick your parents. You don't pick your kids. You pick you.

[Jared]

Let's pick your battles.

[Ryan]

Do you pick your. You pick your dog.

[Tyler]

I said person.

[Miles]

What do you think that like, let's say you did that two years from now you got your kids, you're like, I'm done having kids and putting my kids on my body. Do you think that those kids grow up and get embarrassed about the fact that their name is tattooed on their parents?

[Tyler]

I don't think so. My dad got all of our initials and I wasn't embarrassed by it.

[Miles]

Okay, that's good.

[Ryan]

I also think it's a good way to. Especially when they're if doing it when they're younger. Like, let's say, like, the footprint tattoo. Right. Like, it's a good way to remember back to that time that was so short, but a time that you also missed once they get older.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

I'd be kind of an interesting tattoo. You have them write their name when they're, like, five.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You get that tattooed, and then when they turn 18, you have them write their name, and then you put them next to each other.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Or, like, sign off on, like, a greeting card or something.

[Tyler]

Like, love.

[Ryan]

You know your kid's name.

[Tyler]

Yeah. People do that stuff. And I think those tattoos are super cool. Like, they have.

[Ryan]

I like those ones.

[Tyler]

Grandpa dies or something. Then you pull the love grandpa off a card and get that tattooed.

[Ryan]

I wish grandpa's never died.

[Miles]

It is kind of funny, though, because we all know someone who's kind of a piece of dad, but then they'll, like, have their children tattooed on them.

[Tyler]

You're like, they're.

[Miles]

How about instead of doing that, just be a good dad. Just like. Like, yeah, like, just hang out with your kids.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Just eat. Like, I think it evens it out. Like, it.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I get a pass as a dad if I ink them on my body.

[Tyler]

And, like, to your point, like, I get why you asked the question. There are for sure people who are like that, that do it just to posture and be like, hey, look at me. Look how good of a dad I am. I got their names tattooed, and then I think there's some that do it for correct reasons.

[Miles]

Yeah, I think you're right that you, like, can look really cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

How are you guys? What? Where is your guys's stance on number of tattoos? Because I think if you have a singular tattoo, if someone I know has singular tattoo, you're like. And they don't ever get another one. You're like, they regret that tattoo.

[Tyler]

It's like, I've never thought of that take, but I think I like that take.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like, okay, if you get one, you have to get more. Otherwise you clearly regretted that one tattoo.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, you could look at the other way, too. Like, if they only have one tattoo, it must be something that means a lot.

[Tyler]

Yeah. That would be the only alternate. Otherwise. I think miles is right 80% of the time.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And then the other 20, it's. They got it because someone they loved died or something, and they just wanted their one tattoo. Like, that's the only. They never even considered wanting tattoos, and then they just got the one because of something insignificant.

[Miles]

Correct. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. Yeah. Jared, do you have any tattoos?

[Jared]

None that you can see?

[Ryan]

Hell, yeah.

[Miles]

Are you kind of with me? You're just probably never gonna get one?

[Jared]

I just exactly. I would maybe like a Viking thing, like a Viking horn, because the Vikings fan. But other than that.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like, I don't. The stuff that I like isn't cool enough to be attached.

[Tyler]

My biggest thing is the stuff that I like doesn't work together in a theme. So, like, I can't get a Minnesota Vikings tattoo and put it next to my bear, you know, Or I can't put it next to the penny on my way.

[Miles]

Do you have a Chicago Bears tattoo?

[Tyler]

I have Big Bears guy.

[Ryan]

Kevin Garnett once said, though, anything's possible.

[Miles]

Yeah. Every time you look at. Every time you look at your tattoo does. Your hearts are being really fast.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's anticipation for the kill.

[Jared]

Just looked at his arm when he called you.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I think the only way I would get it.

[Miles]

Oh, God. Oh, God. It's just my tattoo. I thought there was a bear on my arm. A real bear.

[Ryan]

Smokey Bear. Smokey the Bear commercial comes up.

[Miles]

Oh. Oh.

[Tyler]

I. I am fully committed, though. My friends and I in college made a pact that if the Vikings win the super bowl, we will all get them.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Vikings tattoos.

[Ryan]

So, like, just the. The. The horn.

[Tyler]

No, I'd get the full head logo, but I would do it in black ink. I don't want. I don't. I don't know why. I just don't like colored ink.

[Ryan]

I think the tattoos that I laugh at the most are usually like the. The Air Jordan logo on a calf or like the Nike swoosh on a.

[Miles]

Calf or a state logo on the calf.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I like state better.

[Miles]

I feel like every person who is a dude who likes to drive motorcycles from the state of Texas has the outline of Texas on their cap.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

My buddy on his cap has the outline of Minnesota with a fish hook in the middle, which I think it. It looks pretty good, but.

[Miles]

Yeah. Do you. That's. The other thing is, like, I think tattoos are meant to be for the person that's tattooed on. It's not for other people. So.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Own your tattoos. Unless you're a dad.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Then stop getting.

[Miles]

Then just be a good dad. Don't worry about tattoos.

[Tyler]

That should be the rule. You should get tested. When you go to the tattoo parlor, there should be some test on how good of a dad you are. And if you pass, then they'll tattoo.

[Ryan]

Yeah. They should just have to interview your kids before you can go in there.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

What do you guys think of wedding ring tattoos? People who get their wedding ring tattooed on their finger.

[Tyler]

I 100% get it for like blue collar people.

[Miles]

I'm on board with it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't. I. So I've never seen someone get like a band tattoo. I've seen it where they like write the person's name on their finger.

[Ryan]

That may be what I've never even seen.

[Tyler]

I've never seen the band tattoo.

[Ryan]

I've never seen one up close. I've just seen them in passing.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I mean, I think it's. I mean, if you're looking again into the symbology of things, that's a hell of a lot more permanent. Permanent Than a ring you can take off and on.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

True.

[Tyler]

I'm with it especially for like blue collar people. Is like even now living out of city limits and I do more shit in my yard. My fingers all fucked up under my wedding ring.

[Miles]

Really?

[Ryan]

What the are you doing out there?

[Tyler]

Just like splitting wooden. With this metal band on my leg, on my finger, it's been like tearing the skin off underneath.

[Miles]

Is it. You have a more square edge to it.

[Tyler]

Yeah, the edge is kind of sharp.

[Miles]

Yeah. See, I got one that's completely rounded. So I don't have issues with that. No. Oh, well. Should we take a break, boys?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Jared's got a fire fest update for us. What did it sell for?

[Jared]

2, 222 45. $245,000.

[Miles]

So I was completely wrong. Tyler was wrong. Ryan was right.

[Ryan]

What a standard spot on. I think I said 250, didn't I?

[Jared]

Something like that.

[Miles]

So that's the last time I'll ever question your ebay knowledge and ability, Ryan.

[Ryan]

It's spot on.

[Miles]

So I'll throw my hand up, say I was wrong. I also overestimated. I just.

[Tyler]

You and Billy McFarland.

[Miles]

I just. I assumed there were stupider people out there. Sure. More stupid. Stupider. I don't know.

[Jared]

I'm too stupid to know.

[Miles]

Too stupid to know, apparently. I decided there would be someone really stupid that's really rich that would just buy it for a ridiculous amount. But hey, the world's healing.

[Tyler]

It's wised up.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Whoever got it got a deal on it.

[Miles]

So that should. That 250 grand should. Should make a dent in his like 20 some million.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. He just had to divvy that up and fork it over to the 50 people he's messed over over the years, so that's good.

[Miles]

So good job, Billy.

[Tyler]

Jared, do you know who bought it?

[Jared]

Nope, I didn't look that up.

[Miles]

This is. Now that he's sold it, this has to be the last time we deal with Billy, right?

[Tyler]

Oh, Fire Hotels.

[Ryan]

Okay. Yeah. No, he's a cocktail.

[Miles]

So how is he doing Fire. Fire Hotels if he just sold fire.

[Tyler]

He sold Fire Fest. Got it. That's all he sold.

[Miles]

What a Fire fest. The situation.

[Tyler]

So now he's gonna pull some with Fire Hotels and then sell that for another hundred grand on ebay later on.

[Miles]

That is kind of a vibe. Just build something, pull the rug, and then sell the rights to it. If he does that enough times, it's.

[Jared]

Gonna do like 50 times.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Hey, I mean, do you know what the. The move is? And I'll do. Don't even try and do this, because I'll do it before this episode comes out. But any sort of URL with fyre something, that's the move.

[Miles]

Yeah. He's got fire, fire, ice cream, everything. Fire, hunting, land, fire. You know, fireballs. Fireballs, fire, everything.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

How many URLs do you have, Ryan, do you think?

[Ryan]

I don't want to disclose that.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

Also not.

[Ryan]

Probably 10.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

Gotta start getting to the point, though, where you're like, okay, this is getting expensive to keep all these.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, it hits the account once a year. It's like. I don't know, it's a. It's a. It's a hundred some bucks a year. And in. In the long run, to make, you know, to make 10 grand, I'm. You know.

[Miles]

So you. You have some in the portfolio of URLs that you're like, I. I can easily flip this for money.

[Ryan]

It's more of a. It's a gamble is what it is. You know?

[Tyler]

Have I.

[Ryan]

No, I.

[Tyler]

Have you ever been approached by anyone to buy the URL? You have?

[Ryan]

Not a single time. It just takes one, though.

[Miles]

It does.

[Tyler]

It does.

[Miles]

Just one time. Little giants.

[Ryan]

Yes. It just takes one. I could have a hundred URLs, and if one of them sells for 50, 50k, I'm in. Yeah, I'm in it at that point.

[Jared]

So 50 big ones.

[Miles]

I approach you and I want to buy UFC news articles, dot com, which you own.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

And I. What's the lowest number you're selling it for? Like, if I offer you a hundred bucks, are you selling it?

[Ryan]

No. God, no. I mean, if I've had it for 10 years with no offers, maybe.

[Miles]

Okay, so let's say you've had it for five years. Okay, what's it. What's your number?

[Ryan]

Five years, no offers. I think it'd have to be at least 2500 bucks.

[Miles]

Really?

[Ryan]

I mean, think about it.

[Tyler]

Someone would pay that five years.

[Ryan]

I'm already a couple. I'm, I'm. You know, let's see. Say I'm like 500 some bucks deep, you know, because you get all the protections on it, all the add ons at checkout, which I fall for every time. Yeah, I know. I need 2500 bucks, probably.

[Jared]

Yeah. You get the security and then the security plus fee. It's like two fees. Yeah, Correct.

[Miles]

Okay. But two in the bush and one in the hand. You may never, ever get another offer. And I just offered you 250 bucks now because it.

[Ryan]

It's, it's not enough money.

[Miles]

But what is the advantage to you holding on to that?

[Ryan]

It only takes one. It just takes one. It just takes the right person. Maybe someone who wants to start writing UFC news and reviews. Dot com. Maybe someone who wants to start. That is, maybe they're only 10 years old right now, you know, and. And when they turn 20 in 10 years, they want to get into UFC news. Boom. That's my guy. Or gal.

[Jared]

A young Ariel Helani or something.

[Ryan]

Correct. Yeah, correct.

[Miles]

Touche. So you got the better of that exchange.

[Ryan]

But I've gone through the, The. Yeah, the. The whole godaddy.

[Miles]

But just think about that 250 bucks. How many more URLs you could buy and broaden your net.

[Ryan]

Yeah, no, that's a good way to look at it, too.

[Miles]

It's called reinvestment.

[Ryan]

Yep. No, that's a good way to look at it, too. If I had any. Yeah, if. I mean, if I had any in my sites.

[Miles]

You're spending. Yeah. If you're spending 100 bucks a year, you know, 20 years down the road, you're going to be two grand deep, you know?

[Ryan]

Yeah. And that's why you diversify the portfolio. You know, you got to.

[Miles]

You are. You are correct in that one. $2500 payday could be worth it for sure.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Because, I mean, you don't know what, like, businesses or brands are going to be starting years.

[Jared]

You scoop up NBA news articles, dot com.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So that's why you never talk to me about a business idea, because I'll just go buy the URL, Right. Just kidding.

[Miles]

Just kidding. But why.

[Tyler]

Why do you keep the URL name so close to the chest? Because, like this ufc, you should be.

[Miles]

Yeah, Advertising them because they're for sale.

[Tyler]

Because that's the first time you've ever. In front of me anyway. Said what? One of your URLs.

[Miles]

That's not one of his URL.

[Ryan]

No, that's just made that. Yeah, it's just a blanket. It's a blanket.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are. Yeah, you should be advertising that there might be a listener out there that has 2500 bucks burning a hole in their pocket and they want to start a business.

[Jared]

It's like having an ice cream truck and not driving it around at all.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like keeping it in the garage.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you're exactly right. I mean, it's also kind of one of those things where, like, you know, let's say you work with a financial advisor and you pay them X amount to invest, like, a lot of time. You don't know where all that money's going.

[Miles]

I think I know what's going on.

[Jared]

Does it have any.

[Miles]

He has them.

[Ryan]

I can show you.

[Miles]

But they're all porn URLs.

[Ryan]

Those are all taken.

[Jared]

I checked.

[Miles]

Ryan's got a portfolio of porn URLs that he just doesn't. He's too embarrassed.

[Jared]

Portfolio.

[Ryan]

No, I can't show you that. That's a good theory. It's a good theory. It's not true.

[Miles]

No, it's got.

[Tyler]

Just tell us what.

[Ryan]

Let's see.

[Miles]

Are you, like, a little embarrassed at which ones you.

[Ryan]

No. One of them is called. It's the Guillotine dot com.

[Tyler]

No, it's not. That's a wrestling website for Minnesota.

[Ryan]

You're not. You're. You're spelling it incorrectly.

[Tyler]

The Guillotine is a wrestling forum that I've been going on since I was 10 years old.

[Ryan]

Correct. And how do you spell Guillotine?

[Tyler]

G? U.

[Ryan]

Okay, that's not. That's not how this. You are spelled.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

So you have one letter different. So. Correct. So that you're hoping that the Guillotine someday will be like, we're just losing too much traffic to this site because.

[Ryan]

It'S a phishing product, so. BLEEP that out.

[Miles]

Bleep what I was gonna say.

[Jared]

I'm lost.

[Ryan]

Wait, I. I haven't developed a product yet.

[Tyler]

Oh, like guillotine. Like fish gills.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Tyler]

10, 4.

[Ryan]

What happens when. What happens in a guillotine?

[Tyler]

They get their heads cut off.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Jared]

Creative.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Ryan]

And how do you. Like, how do you. How do you get the. How do you get the head of a minnow off of a minnow?

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You use your fingers, but it's inconvenient.

[Miles]

We didn't ask you to release all your business ideas.

[Ryan]

No, I'm just telling you because, I mean, there might be someone out there who wants to. Who is more gung ho about the product than I am.

[Miles]

Oh, got it, got it. So you're. This is the most roundabout venture capital scheme I've ever seen in my life. You are buying URLs off of future potential business ideas. Well, you don't want to, but you don't want to have the headaches of starting up a business. But you want to be there when. When someone eventually makes the guillotine, you are going to be there, they're going to want your URL, and you're going to say, hey, for 3% equity in your company, I will give you the URL.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Miles]

That's. He's playing 40 chess now. The likelihood of that happening. Almost zero.

[Ryan]

Yeah, but hey, it just takes one.

[Jared]

Just takes one.

[Miles]

Because then I. Because then they could just change their website to Doug Guillotine.

[Ryan]

They could.

[Tyler]

Guillotine.

[Miles]

Guillotine.

[Ryan]

I mean, yeah, but here's the. See, that's how I know that you guys are uneducated is you don't just buy one, you buy everything around it as well.

[Tyler]

Ah, so you have several guillotines.

[Jared]

Correct. Right. When you said fishing, I thought you're doing like a fishing scam thing.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

My brain went.

[Ryan]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[Jared]

It's like, really?

[Ryan]

No, that's just one example.

[Miles]

Give us one other one. I'm now intrigued. This is the. That's the safest venture capital play I've ever heard in my entire life.

[Jared]

Driving the ice cream truck, Ryan.

[Ryan]

Let's see. I did just let a couple. I let a couple dot XYZs expire because I don't need the dot XYZ. Yeah, you just buy them on an impulse right away.

[Miles]

Upcharge, you know, you want the full fleet.

[Ryan]

No, I gotta, I. I haven't bought one at myself in a while.

[Miles]

But then you have. You bet you're a good kid of the week.

[Ryan]

Yep, you bet you're good kid of the week. We had. Why am I drawing a blank? I've just been getting renewal emails the last week.

[Miles]

I mean, this is a little concerning. You don't even know your portfolio up and down. What if. What if you come across someone who would fit perfectly but you don't remember that you own the URL? This is kind of a disaster.

[Ryan]

Well, I'm more so waiting for a godaddy. Broker to reach out to me. You know, I. I'm. This isn't a boots. Yeah. It's not a bootstrap type of business venture I got going.

[Miles]

That's right. You have such good URLs that you don't seek people out, they seek you out.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Miles]

Got it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I just. I buy it. You should forget about it until someone brings it up.

[Jared]

Forget about it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Fairway. Fluid.com.

[Tyler]

Golf. Somebody's gonna make that a golf drink one day. That's smart.

[Ryan]

Yeah, exactly. Boys are.

[Miles]

You have some.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, we got a bunch.

[Miles]

I think I'm supposed to be the one that owns boys or bus.

[Ryan]

No, you do own it. I'm saying I haven't bought one personally in a while. I'm just saying, like, some of the.

[Jared]

You can buy from Ryan.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you could.

[Miles]

Yeah. What the.

[Tyler]

You are supposed to own it, but you don't. So here's your chance.

[Miles]

No, see, you know how people. They won't. They will. They'll just hand over their finances to someone that they trust, and then they end up skimming off the top. I handed over all my URL business to Ryan and he's just skimming off the top.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Not.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'll show you the portfolio. I'll show you the transactions. Yeah, we can look at it all. I'm gonna. You know, I. I didn't go to culinary school. I ain't cooking the books anywhere.

[Miles]

But now. I didn't think you were cooking the books until you.

[Tyler]

Now you just said we're back to the hats in the garbage situation.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's a great segue, Ryan. Into the next segment that I. I haven't been in the office because I've been traveling, and this is one of the first things that Jared was beaming to tell me about. So, Jared, without any further ado, what is our next segment called?

[Jared]

We're doing Gloves off, hosted by Ryan. Gloves off.

[Miles]

Gloves are off. Hosted by Ryan. And what is this segment, Jared?

[Jared]

So Ryan gets to talk about UFC for exactly one minute, and that's it.

[Ryan]

And this wasn't my. I was informed about this one hour ago.

[Tyler]

I think. I think Jared's just been cooking this up by himself.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, this was. Of all the things that could have happened last three weeks, this is the first thing that Jared was like, I have to tell Miles about. We have to do this.

[Jared]

I have a one minute idea.

[Miles]

Yeah. You're like, I got a great segment. Okay, what is it? All right, so on an hour long podcast, it's gonna can be comprised of one of those minutes. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Seems like a. Seems like a. A good use of our time.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's like a one and a half. One and a half percent of the podcast is now filled up brick by brick, baby. Yeah.

[Tyler]

So how often is this segment gonna recur?

[Jared]

We'll see how it goes.

[Tyler]

Is this gonna be like one minute a month? One minute a year?

[Jared]

We'll see.

[Ryan]

I don't know. I don't know anything about this. Besides, I'm just. I'm riffing for a minute.

[Miles]

Okay, let me know when you're ready. So, yeah, this is.

[Ryan]

So is this just me individually or, like, can I talk to you guys.

[Tyler]

About it, or do you want us to take any of your minute.

[Miles]

This is Jared's. Jared, what do you want us to do?

[Jared]

I want just.

[Miles]

Ryan, you want to rant? UFC rant.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

All right. That is only one way to kick this off.

[Jared]

Time.

[Ryan]

All right, ready? I mean, the segment first off, Jared, great. Great choice of the segment because it's called gloves off. And One of the 10 seconds in, you're losing time. Yeah, you can't. You can't. I don't want to know time. Do UFC fighters look at the clock? Yes, but not in this situation. The gloves just came off of arguably an all time legend, one of the top 10 fighters of all time, you could say Dustin Poirier. Retirement fight this last weekend. It wasn't a title fight for gold. It was a title fight for the baddest in the in the world, Max Holloway, great opponent for the last retirement fight. Also happened in Louisiana, the roots of Dustin Porier. So the gloves came off, ended up taking the L didn't get the BMS half to kind of sail off in the sunset, but it was a great pay per view overall. We got UFC 319 coming up next month. Haven't really dove too deep into the card, but I would assume you pay 80 bucks or something.

[Miles]

It should be pretty good.

[Jared]

Time.

[Tyler]

Okay, Nice.

[Miles]

That was. That was better than I thought. You. Next time, just. If we do it again, jump right into it.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You threw me off at the 10 seconds.

[Miles]

This isn't an award show, you know, you know, be like, all right, I'd like to thank my parents for raising me. Just jump right into it. Yeah. I mean, don't, don't be dancing around the octagon when the bell hits. You got to go for the kill shot right away.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I know. I, you know, we can look at that as like a segment or Episode one of ybr.

[Jared]

Okay, There you go.

[Ryan]

You know, everything gets better.

[Miles]

Yeah, that's true, that's true. Hey, great perspective.

[Jared]

Bird boxing.

[Miles]

What is the baddest mother fight? Is that just like a made up?

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's a. Yeah, it's a new belt that they made like a toilet bowl. Jorge Masvidal and Nate Diaz fought for it like four or five years ago. Three, three to five years ago.

[Miles]

And it's just like a funsy thing.

[Tyler]

Yeah, people hype for a non title fight.

[Ryan]

Well, and like, yeah, like those two, Masvidal and Nate Diaz, they're like, they're like, you know, they're kind of like, I'll say like thugs of the ufc, but like guys who grew up in like, like very.

[Miles]

They're hard. They're hard.

[Tyler]

Correct.

[Ryan]

Very like poverty stricken areas, like made it to the top and now like, you know, they're the baddest. So the belts change hands a few times, but nice. It's fun. I don't know. Dwayne the Rock Johnson is the one who presented it the first time. And then this last weekend, little. Little Wayne put it on.

[Jared]

Max Holloway couldn't said that any wider.

[Miles]

Little.

[Ryan]

Old Wayne.

[Jared]

So yeah, I got one patron question we can do.

[Miles]

Let's do it.

[Ryan]

And I mean I'm. Give me a.

[Miles]

You had your minute.

[Ryan]

Give me a heads up next time because I'll again web. So 1 yvr.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

I want to hear your ranking, your top 10 rankings of all time. Okay, you can do that in a minute.

[Ryan]

Not right now though, because no next minute.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Lights are. It's a one round fight.

[Jared]

Gabe asks if exhibit showed up and stole your ride. What's one feature you want once your ride has. Has been pimped?

[Miles]

What? How would I want my, my car, my truck Pimped.

[Ryan]

Pimped.

[Jared]

Pimped. I said that. Pretty white too.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you did.

[Miles]

I want him to do something to the bed of the truck. You know, I always, you know, I was a fast and furious kid. You know, I love the. I had. I remember renting the first Fast and Furious movie from the movie rental store on VHS and watching it at the lake on rainy days and just loving it. Mom getting pissed because I'd hide it so she'd forget that we have to return it, you know, like that. And I was always jealous of the people who had the trunks full of all the speaker system.

[Jared]

Oh yeah. With the amps and everything.

[Miles]

Yeah. So I'd love a truck bed with. With the amps and the giant subwoofers.

[Tyler]

And speakers in it just to rattle your bones down the interstate.

[Miles]

Yeah, well, no, it's. I wouldn't. I would. Yeah. It mostly be for whenever. When I'm hanging out with my buddies around the tailgate.

[Tyler]

Oh.

[Miles]

You know, when I'm posted up is what I think I'd mainly want in a random. So that one's more of a nostalgia thing. And then the additional thing that I would want. Tyler would probably want like. You probably want like a. Like a bear cage with. With. With a. It. With a tattoo chair and. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

If I learned anything from tattoos. Watching Jackass. Getting a tattoo in a moving vehicle is always a good idea.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Right now I just. I would just like my radio to work. My radio. My radio. And my traverse is blown out, so I'd like. I currently have a Bluetooth speaker in the passenger seat.

[Miles]

Oh, that's a vibe.

[Tyler]

It sucks.

[Ryan]

That is the worst.

[Tyler]

It's terrible.

[Miles]

Why don't you get one? Can you just put one on the dash?

[Tyler]

I can, but it rolls off if you speed up too fast. I have a little circle one. Like a JBL is what I have.

[Ryan]

So can you just put APS on low?

[Tyler]

I don't know what that means for AirPods. I could.

[Miles]

Just.

[Ryan]

So you could hear people honking if you're doing something you shouldn't be.

[Tyler]

Yeah, well, I can hear them honking.

[Miles]

You actually can do transparency mode. So like it's not noise canceling. Sure could do that.

[Ryan]

Could be the move AP's online.

[Miles]

Okay, so you just want a working radio, please. I need subwoofers. I need woofers, amps and speakers.

[Tyler]

Jared.

[Jared]

I think I want like a water cooler because I always get really parched when I'm driving. So. Like a five gallon jug or whatever. Or a gallon jug of water if it's exhibit.

[Tyler]

He's gonna give you like a gerbil thing.

[Miles]

Yeah. You're gonna have to suck.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Not a bad idea.

[Miles]

Not a bad.

[Jared]

I don't hate it.

[Tyler]

Jared's just looking to the side, trying not to crash sucking out of his metal. It'd be like thirsty.

[Ryan]

It'd be like a flip down from the. The. The visor.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's just in my line of sight.

[Miles]

I think I'd want them to build a slide in and slide out system. So like then. Then they could build me a bunch of different stuff for different situations. You know, like a camper.

[Tyler]

You're saying like the slide outs?

[Miles]

Yeah, so like I could slide in this. The speaker system and have that and then If I want, I could slide in a bed or I could slide in a Margaritaville bar set up at the back. I want it to be modular.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So if they could get that done. That'd be sick. Brian.

[Ryan]

I'm trying to. The only thing that coming to mind is a flamethrower of some sort. But I, I.

[Miles]

You want a flamethrower turret on the back of your truck.

[Tyler]

Oh, put it on the front of your truck. And that's how you can plow your driveway in the winter.

[Jared]

Yeah, there we go.

[Miles]

Yeah, it, like, goes down at the ground. Yeah, that'd be kind of sick.

[Ryan]

Or maybe I just have, like, I just have a snow plow, and then right behind it is a. Is the flamethrower. So you're plowing and you're throwing.

[Tyler]

Hell, yeah.

[Ryan]

One after another. Oh, God.

[Miles]

I'm trying to Fire idea.

[Tyler]

You could buy that fyre idea on ebay soon.

[Miles]

Fire plowing dot com.

[Ryan]

Fireidea dot com is actually fire.

[Miles]

You got it.

[Tyler]

Quick, get that.

[Ryan]

Well, this doesn't come out for a day.

[Jared]

For weeks.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you should get fired tonight.

[Miles]

Fire media dot com.

[Tyler]

That's for sure. Taken.

[Ryan]

Probably Happy Surprise.

[Tyler]

Media companies are the kings of changing vowels to.

[Miles]

Yeah, there's a bunch of companies that are spelled the same way that when that came out, they're like, Jesus fucking Christ. Now we got to change our name.

[Tyler]

Fire Media is a media company in New York. Fyre.

[Miles]

That's probably Billy's.

[Tyler]

No, they're permanently closed.

[Ryan]

It's probably Billy's.

[Miles]

Probably Billy's.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

It all goes back to Billy.

[Miles]

If I know William like I think I do.

[Ryan]

I think I'd want an espresso machine or an energy drink machine of some sort. Like energy drink. Like.

[Miles]

Like fountain, like a soda stream, but for energy.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Not a bad idea.

[Ryan]

It'd be a to clean.

[Miles]

Also, guys, the SMP today is down 0.07% on our computer. Why? Why does our work computer have the S&P 500 stock? It's like a ticker on. On the bottom bar of the thing.

[Jared]

Because I know you like looking at the S P. I do.

[Miles]

I do. But I also. This is actually a great teaching moment. Just because it's down today, you can't get scared. Oh, it's just because it's down 0.07%. You can't get squirrely and sell off your stuff. So really, the S&P 500, what it is today doesn't matter. It should be a ticker of how much it's up over the last 30 years is what it should be.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Miles]

That's the only ticker that I want.

[Jared]

Gold's up, too.

[Ryan]

What's gold at right now?

[Jared]

3444, up one point.

[Ryan]

I sold a 1 ounce gold coin to buy my home gym. Like six, seven years ago. I sold it for 1200 bucks. That was. I. I want to say that was a price of gold at the time.

[Miles]

Could have been double steak.

[Ryan]

I know.

[Miles]

All right. You got a fun fact, Jared?

[Jared]

I do. The world record for the longest continuously Observed rainbow is 8 hours and 58 minutes.

[Ryan]

Holy.

[Jared]

In Taiwan in November of 2017. Previous record was 6 hours set in Yorkshire.

[Miles]

So observe. That's not just one that has lasted that long. It means that there was someone observing it for eight hours. Yep.

[Jared]

@ the Chinese culture University in Taiwan. I'm not going to say the name of the town. I can't pronounce that. Yang Ming. Yang Ming. Shane.

[Tyler]

I'm not gonna. But here I go.

[Miles]

Can you imagine how high you'd have to be to be staring at a. Staring at a rainbow for eight hours?

[Ryan]

I feel like.

[Miles]

And how you'd have to, like, continually re. Up your high. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You'd be hallucinate. You'd start hallucinating, I think.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You'd start seeing multiple rainbows.

[Tyler]

All the way across the sky.

[Miles]

I bet that guy, like, as soon as the rainbow went away, I bet he was so high that he, like, thought the world was ending.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Like during that eight hours, he's like, this is now. This is permanently in the sky. This is going to be here forever.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Roy B.

[Miles]

That is a long time for a rainbow. What's the longest you guys have looked at a rainbow?

[Jared]

No. More than three minutes.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I was going to say less than five.

[Miles]

Oh, God. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Less than two.

[Miles]

I would say 45 seconds.

[Tyler]

It's usually like, oh, there's a rainbow. And then I'm on with my day.

[Ryan]

Yep. Show the kids.

[Miles]

Yeah, I. I'm. I'll do that. And then I'll go like, where does it end? And then I'll track it to the end. And then I'm usually dipping out after that. Yeah.

[Jared]

You know, find the golden leaves.

[Miles]

See it up there. And you're like, okay.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Right over Walmart. And then that side, it's right over the grocery store. Okay.

[Jared]

So right by the Chick Fil.

[Miles]

A world is telling me I need to get groceries today, which I do to sign. I believe in the cosm. Horoscopes are real.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Get me a Crystal, give me a.

[Tyler]

Magic 8 ball, Scorpios and lemonade.

[Miles]

Well. Is that it, Jared?

[Jared]

That's it.

[Miles]

Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode. You bet. Your radio podcast. Stay good out there and we'll see you next one.

[Tyler]

Love you.

[Ryan]

Stay good.

[Jared]

Good.

[Miles]

Stay good. Stay good.

[Ryan]

Love you Dot com.

[Miles]

Staygood dot com. Go get it. Oh, you betcha. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared]

What are the best jobs for taking smoke breaks?

[Tyler]

I mean, gas pump attendant.

[Miles]

I, I mean, because right now it's mostly like the service industry, right? Like if you're, if you're a bartender, like everyone who's a bartender has smoke breaks, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, is it the best ones like currently or what would we think might be the best one to do it?

[Jared]

Probably think.

[Ryan]

I would say, just like to preface that any job that has worked outside is not the, not the best job to have smoke breaks in. Because you don't really get a break. You're just going to smoke while you work. Whereas if you're inside, you get to go outside. I would say take that 15. That state mandated 15 minute smoke break.

[Tyler]

Actually, I would say brain surgeon. That's stressful.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Imagine taking a nice 15 minute smoke.

[Miles]

Break, but then you can turn it into a half hour by having to scrub back in.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

Yeah, that'd be nice.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

Like during the brain surgery you get.

[Tyler]

50 and like you could, you could really smoke whatever you want. Just got that mask on to cover your breath.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Well, you have like, because you don't, maybe you don't gotta scrub back in. Just have someone light it up for you and you just use a pair of tongs to put it up to your mouth and take it out. Yeah. Right. Could be a good way, like a.

[Ryan]

Like a bread tie. You guys ever seen, you guys have never used a bread tie to smoke like a roach or anything?

[Jared]

Oh, I should use like a tweezers or something.

[Ryan]

Tweezers works well too. But a bread tie, if you wrap it around and then, and then twist it, you have like a. So you don't bring your fingers. My buddies used to do that and that's right. My buddies would do that all the time. And I'm like, well, that's.

[Tyler]

What's a roach?

[Ryan]

Well, it's, it's an, it's actually, you probably want to call like a pest patrol for that. Oh, something you want to get rid.

[Tyler]

Of right away with a pred clip.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you don't want to leave roaches laying around.

[Jared]

They eat the bread.

[Miles]

Yeah, you definitely don't want to be a gas station attendant. There's a lot of gas inflammable things. Is that what you're getting at?

[Tyler]

Yeah, that was the joke.

[Miles]

That's a bad idea.

[Tyler]

Have you ever watched Zoolander?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I think teachers should get more smoke breaks. Yeah.

[Ryan]

I agree.

[Tyler]

In the teachers on indoor smoke breaks.

[Miles]

Yeah. Cigs inside the classroom.

[Ryan]

I don't think teachers should be looked down upon either if they're taking smoke breaks.

[Miles]

Okay, question.

[Jared]

Agreed.

[Miles]

Back in the day when you smoked everywhere, like on airplanes and everything, were teachers just smoking during class?

[Jared]

No, I think they smoked in the lounge.

[Ryan]

Teachers lounge.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So that, that was like you can smoke on airplanes, but you can't smoke in the classroom. That was the. Where they drew the line, apparently.

[Ryan]

Maybe they could only smoke in like senior classrooms.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

They were 18 or they're illegal to smoke.

[Jared]

Able to get drafted.

[Ryan]

Right?

[Miles]

Yeah, because it's like he's walking. Restaurants, kids were there smoking. Airplanes kids were there.

[Ryan]

Right.

[Miles]

Do you remember when classroom is where they draw the line? Too many kids in one area, they're getting distracted.

[Tyler]

Like, do you remember going into restaurants with smoking and non smoking sides where they're just. They're tables apart?

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

Yeah, that was strange.

[Tyler]

It's not changing.

[Miles]

It like feels so much more long ago than when it was.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Was that like 2008 or something?

[Miles]

We were North Dakota early 2000s. I feel like people were still smoking in restaurants.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I remember the change happening and being like pumped that. Oh, we get to sit on that side at Perkins this time.

[Jared]

It's more yellow.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And like. Oh, it's the same.

[Jared]

My eyes hurt.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

God, that would be kind of a vibe though, just to sit down for like a Perkins breakfast and smoke a cig with a cup of coffee.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You get the Sunday morning church crowd in and you just rip a dart.

[Miles]

Church would be a great. Yeah. Pastor should get.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Halfway through the sermon. They do a halftime for sermon so you can get a smoke break.

[Miles]

Yeah, I guess. Maybe. Let's change the question to what profession deserves a smoke break most? I think teachers are definitely up there having to deal with kids all the time. Same vein, daycare people, daycare providers, they deserve a smoke break. You know who doesn't deserve a smoke break is pharmacists. They don't do.

[Ryan]

No, no.

[Miles]

It's like the lowest stress job of all time.

[Tyler]

The one pharmacist I know, I'm going there. I'm going to his house this weekend. The one that we were was our source during the last pharmacy Episode. So if you have any more questions for him, now is the time for me to ask.

[Miles]

Okay, I got one.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

How dare you?

[Tyler]

Okay, I'm writing that down.

[Miles]

What other professions deserve a smoke break?

[Jared]

College basketball coaches. They get really stressed.

[Miles]

They get so stressed. Yeah, just coaches in general. Like, what is it? What? In, like, obviously, like, football is an intense sport and basketball is. It's just like, like, imagine if bosses try to motivate people at work jobs. Like coaches.

[Ryan]

Yeah, right.

[Tyler]

Do you remember when Mike Zimmer.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like, they got a towel over wiping their sweat and.

[Tyler]

Well, Mike Zimmer got fined by the NFL for sneaking in a dip on the sideline. He'd hold the page up like he was calling a play, and he put a dip in. What's wrong? Not only do they not give him smoke breaks, they are fining them for consuming.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Do you see Mike McDaniels? He was ripping vapes on the sideline last year.

[Miles]

Allegedly.

[Ryan]

Allegedly. I do think bus drivers should get to smoke while driving if the windows cracked at least 50%. Yeah, I think it's a 50%. It's like the tint rule. Like, cops will pull the bus over if they see that it's. It's not open 50% or more.

[Miles]

Is it illegal to smoke on a bus?

[Jared]

Probably.

[Tyler]

I think so.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Probably with kids. Yeah, but if the windows open, it's going to waft out.

[Jared]

Is that 50%? He's got to take his tape measure.

[Miles]

Yeah, but is it technically legal or is it just like the school district doesn't let them.

[Ryan]

I would say it's a school district.

[Miles]

Would you get a fine or do you just get fired?

[Ryan]

I mean, that's actually a great question.

[Tyler]

Because I, I, I have the legal right to smoke in the car with my kids.

[Miles]

Yeah, exactly.

[Tyler]

I think, I think I have that right. I don't know.

[Jared]

Might be like a public property thing.

[Miles]

But basically, any profession you got to deal with screaming kids, I think deserves a smoke break.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Lunch lit.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I don't even want the sloppy joes unless they smell a little bit like cigarettes.

[Miles]

Well, it's like, yeah, it's like the. Then it's like, wow, we got the gourmet sloppy joes today. The, the beef was smoked on the grill.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Smoked brisket today for lunch.

[Miles]

Hot box in the dishwasher. Guys, that was a fun little snippet from our Patreon episode last week. You can find all of our Patreon episodes at patreon. Com. You betcharadio.