The Perfect Gift for Any Married Couple #322

Summary

You Betcha Radio – Episode #322: The Perfect Gift for Any Married Couple

Release Date: April 16, 2025

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Hosts: Miles (You Betcha Guy), Ryan (The T-Shirt Guy), Tyler, and Jared
Description: The most "Midwest" podcast on the planet, delving into man culture, nostalgia, and Midwest life with a comedic twist.

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1. Introduction and Miles' Illness (00:00 – 02:20)

The episode kicks off with Miles welcoming listeners back to "You Betcha Radio," humorously dubbing it "the coldest podcast in all the Midwest." The hosts—Miles, Ryan, and Jared—catch up on recent absences, leading to Miles recounting his recent illness.

Notable Quote:

• Miles (00:38): "I woke up violently, throwing up... I had to run to the bathroom."

Miles shares his experience of waking up sick, speculating that his subconscious might have foreseen his bout of illness. The team empathizes with him, humorously discussing the challenges of being sick and the unpredictability of such moments.

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2. Comparing Miles to Michael Jordan's Flu Game (03:09 – 08:00)

Miles draws a parallel between his own sick day and Michael Jordan's legendary "flu game." He marvels at Jordan's ability to perform under physical duress, expressing admiration and humorously questioning if listeners would have the strength to play an NBA game when ill.

Notable Quote:

• Miles (03:09): "What if I had to go play an NBA game right now in Utah? Drop 38 points."

The conversation culminates in Miles appreciating Jordan's resilience, emphasizing the extraordinary nature of enduring such a tough day.

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3. Prize Picks App and Betting Fun (12:48 – 16:31)

Transitioning from health woes, the hosts introduce the Prize Picks app, a platform for sports betting. Miles promotes the app with a discount code "YBR," encouraging listeners to sign up and participate.

Notable Quote:

• Miles (12:48): "If you sign up on Prize Picks with code YBR, you get $50 instantly when you play your first $5 lineup."

The segment includes light-hearted competition among the hosts as they share their betting lineups, showcasing their playful side and engaging listeners to join the betting fun.

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4. Infomercial Reviews: Zoomies and Better Marriage Blanket (16:35 – 28:32)

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to reviewing quirky infomercial products. The hosts watch and critique two main products:

a. Zoomies: High-Power Binoculars (17:00 – 26:08)

• Description: Compact, hands-free binoculars worn like sunglasses, offering 300% magnification.
• Discussion: The hosts debate the practicality of such a product, with Jared expressing interest in using them for hunting. They joke about the absurdity of wearing high-powered binoculars at events like high school sports games.

Notable Quote:

• Jared (19:03): "If these things actually would magnify a ton, I would take them hunting and just like put them on my head."

b. Better Marriage Blanket: Carbon-Absorbing Bedding (26:14 – 28:32)

• Description: A blanket designed to absorb unpleasant odors with an activated carbon layer, marketed as a solution to "silent but deadly" farts in bed.
• Discussion: The hosts hilariously critique the product's premise, comparing it to military-grade chemical protection and fantasizing about enhanced household inventions to manage odors.

Notable Quote:

• Miles (28:03): "So essentially, they're saying you launch farts into the covers and then it just traps them in there forever."

Both segments are filled with laughter and mock-serious analysis, highlighting the hosts' chemistry and comedic timing.

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5. Single Dad Cooking and House Projects (37:05 – 55:25)

The conversation shifts to personal anecdotes about being single dads handling household responsibilities. Jared shares his experience of being alone while his family is away, leading to humorous discussions about cooking mishaps and creative solutions like making wooden swords for his kids.

Notable Quote:

• Jared (53:01): "For the first time since I moved into this house, and for a significant time before that, I was truly alone... So I just started making wooden swords."

Miles and Tyler join in, sharing their own stories of cooking challenges and house projects, reinforcing the theme of Midwest resilience and camaraderie.

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6. AI-Generated Coachella Photos (56:36 – 84:58)

In a tech-savvy twist, Tyler introduces AI-generated photos depicting the hosts at Coachella. The group humorously critiques the accuracy and creativity of the AI, leading to playful banter about their imagined festival appearances.

Notable Quote:

• Tyler (56:18): "I did an AI-generated photo of what we would look like at Coachella."

The segment showcases the hosts' adaptability and willingness to engage with contemporary technology trends, all while maintaining their signature humor.

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7. Fun Facts Battle (87:34 – 98:58)

Towards the episode's end, the hosts engage in a "Fun Facts" battle, exchanging trivia and challenging each other's knowledge. This segment highlights their playful competitiveness and educational yet entertaining interactions.

Notable Quotes:

• Tyler (88:01): "The average person blinks 14 to 17 times per minute."
• Miles (90:14): "From sea level down to the lowest portion of the ocean, it's only 11 miles."

The fun facts range from human biology to historical tidbits, providing both entertainment and information for listeners.

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8. Conclusion and Final Banter (99:00 – End)

The episode wraps up with light-hearted exchanges, reiterating their camaraderie and teasing future episodes. Miles signs off with a humorous nod to his "flu game" experience, while the hosts collectively wish their listeners well.

Notable Quote:

• Miles (84:56): "Next week I'll be rocking and rolling. Next week I'll be absolutely on fire."

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Key Insights:

• Midwest Community & Resilience: The hosts consistently emphasize their Midwestern roots, showcasing a strong sense of community and resilience, especially when dealing with personal challenges like illness or household responsibilities.

• Humor & Relatability: The blend of humor with everyday scenarios (sickness, single parenting, cooking mishaps) makes the content highly relatable and engaging for listeners.

• Adaptability to Trends: Incorporation of modern elements like AI-generated images and sports betting apps demonstrates the hosts' ability to stay relevant and entertain through evolving trends.

• Product Critiques: The in-depth and humorous reviews of infomercial products add variety to the podcast, allowing listeners to enjoy entertainment through the hosts' comedic lens.

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Final Thoughts:

Episode #322 of "You Betcha Radio" masterfully balances personal storytelling, humor, and interactive segments, all while maintaining a distinctly Midwestern charm. Whether discussing the trials of a single dad, critiquing bizarre infomercial products, or engaging in fun trivia battles, the hosts deliver a rich and engaging listening experience that resonates with both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Recommended For:

• Fans of Midwest humor and culture
• Listeners who enjoy a mix of personal anecdotes and comedic critique
• Those interested in relatable, everyday discussions with a humorous twist

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Tune in every Wednesday for more laughs, stories, and the "Midwest" charm that only "You Betcha Radio" can deliver. Cheers!

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back to you Beta Radio podcast. The coldest podcast in all the Midwest. I'm Miles, you beta guy here with Ryan the T shirt guy.

[Ryan]

Hello.

[Miles]

We're live. We're back.

[Jared]

We are back.

[Miles]

We're back, fellas. How are you?

[Jared]

We're good, really good, doing well.

[Ryan]

You guys haven't been around lately.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean, I was in Nashville for a week and then yesterday, which would have been a Monday, I woke up at like 6am and at first it seems like Miles woke up at 6am Because Katy Perry and her friends are going to space.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

But it turns out that wasn't. That wasn't the reason why I asked.

[Jared]

Jared, like, did I see Katy Perry.

[Tyler]

Go to space his body clock?

[Miles]

I almost did, but instead I woke up violently, throwing up.

[Jared]

Can you paint the picture for me here? Did you wake up and like, shake and awake and say, I think I'm going to throw up?

[Miles]

No, I had to run to the bathroom.

[Jared]

That's sad.

[Miles]

Yeah, it was tough. It was kind of weird. Maybe I just subliminally subconsciously knew something was going to happen. So my kids toys were all over the floor of our bedroom. And the night before, I like, made a joke to Anne. I'm like, I got to slide these out of the way in case I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And I moved the stuff out of the way.

[Jared]

Why is that a joke?

[Miles]

She's like. She's like, you don't ever wake up to pee. Like, why is that even a funny joke? And I was like, I don't know.

[Ryan]

But it is the world working.

[Miles]

And then I woke up and had to run to the bathroom and I didn't trip on anything.

[Ryan]

Huh, that's trippy. Imagine if you would have stepped on like a car or something, just freaking Lego.

[Jared]

H H and threw up on the carpet.

[Miles]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan]

Hopefully just get it on the tile on the bathroom and just deal with it later.

[Jared]

He's got a bloody nose and he's projectile vomiting.

[Miles]

Yep. So I threw up a few times yesterday morning. Out of commission the entire day. I got. I'm pretty sure I got bed sores laying in bed. I was just laying there for so long. 12 hours after I woke up. No, I just. It was just leave me alone.

[Ryan]

Well, not much she can really give you at that point. It's not like, yeah, because I tried.

[Miles]

To drink stuff and then I would just throw up again. So I was just basically like, all right, this is. God gives his toughest battles to his Strongest soldiers.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And that's what I had to endure yesterday. Now, I did have a. So if you're wondering today, this is a flu game performance, I shouldn't be here right now, but I am.

[Jared]

How does that make you feel, Ryan?

[Ryan]

About what?

[Jared]

Just sitting right next to patient zero?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I. I mean, I've been thinking about that.

[Miles]

However, I did Google it, and once. If you got 24 hours since you last threw up, you're pretty good. So I threw up about 30 hours ago.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I think we're in the clear. Yeah.

[Miles]

So we're. We're good there. I've been trying not to touch Ryan, you know, usually trying. Usually before a podcast, we do like a hug it out, you know?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Getting the right. Getting the right couple.

[Jared]

A couple ass slaps.

[Miles]

Yeah. None of that today.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

But I was thinking last night as I was laying in bed unable to move, I don't think people understand the true greatness that was the Jordan flu game.

[Ryan]

I agree.

[Miles]

I was thinking in bed that night, I'm like, what if I had to go play an NBA game right now in Utah? In Utah?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Drop 38 points.

[Jared]

What. What if the summer series started today?

[Miles]

Right. Like, what if I had to go play Ryan right now, one on one? Like, could I even do it?

[Tyler]

Well, they say when you're sick, you get more concentrated on playing because you're.

[Miles]

Not worried about all the other stuff, but it's not. It was more so about the fact that I, like, couldn't stand very good. So the fact he had to run up and down a court. Played 44 minutes. Because I did. I was sitting there, I was like, okay, this. That seems impossible. And so I googled, like, what actually happened. And yeah, now he didn't have the flu.

[Jared]

He had food poison.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Chinese.

[Miles]

But I also.

[Jared]

Pizza.

[Ryan]

Pizza, Sorry.

[Jared]

There's a conspiracy theory that the opposing team sent that pizza to him.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

And I will have to say that I did have food poisoning a few years ago when I was on vacation. You guys probably. I. I probably made a big deal out of it.

[Tyler]

Look at the.

[Miles]

Probably talked about on the podcast.

[Ryan]

Down for the count.

[Miles]

Down for the count. But I was out for like three days. Yeah. So I think food poisoning is worse than just like 24 hour flu anyways. But if I would have had to play, I couldn't play an NBA game in that state. I just. That's just. I just have to tip my hat to Mr. Jordan on being able to do that. I. It's. It's quite amazing that he did that?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's why he's the best.

[Jared]

Listeners will definitely send this to him. He's gonna see this.

[Miles]

So, yeah, I'm not even saying this to get on, you know, get his attention. This is. That's just. I.

[Jared]

But if you do want to come on the pod, Mr. Jordan, that's. You can true.

[Miles]

Where is he gonna sit? So, yeah, rough, rough couple days. My kid definitely knew something. He was. He was kind of. He just kept looking at me, you know, again, we'll bring him in the room and he'd be like, look at me. Like, what's. What's wrong with you? What's going on?

[Ryan]

Yeah. How you feeling?

[Miles]

Why are you doing that? Usually they're tossing me around.

[Jared]

You're supposed to be making faces, old man.

[Miles]

Yeah. So, yeah, we had Pedialyte for the first time in a very long time.

[Ryan]

Solid.

[Miles]

Pretty good, actually.

[Ryan]

Really solid.

[Miles]

It definitely just tastes though, like they melted down a. A Jolly Rancher and kept it in liquid form. Yeah, it's how. Best way I could describe Pedialyte. But so, yeah, it's amazing how when your health comes into question, how little you care about. Do you know what I mean?

[Ryan]

Anything?

[Jared]

Like you're surrounded.

[Miles]

When I texted you guys I wasn't gonna make it in, I was like, you guys, if I never come back to work because I'm so sick, like, I don't even care what happens to the company. Burn the building down. I don't fucking care.

[Tyler]

I have a tubby ache.

[Jared]

Yeah, unscheduled.

[Miles]

It was completely unscheduled. I was just like, well, if they put out a video, that sucks, who cares?

[Tyler]

Nothing matters.

[Miles]

I don't care. Nothing matters right now.

[Ryan]

Did it ever run across your mind, like, why me? Do you ever think about that when you're really sick? Like, why? Like why is this happening to me right now?

[Miles]

So I've done a lot of self reflection and realized that the world is random. And I just drew the short straw this time.

[Ryan]

Sure. Yeah, not so much why me? But for me, for me, bent over.

[Jared]

The toilet bowl, just on your fifth puke of the day, praying be like, I swear I will stop cutting people off in track. You just let me stop throwing up.

[Miles]

You do reach a point that you are like, why me? This. This time? Did it when I had food poisoning on vacation that one time. That was a why me Situation. I was like. Cuz it was like day three of just being out, down for the count and just being like, why is this happening to me? I'm on vacation. I just had to be in this hotel room. Yeah, well, like. And just like, I think Anne went because. I think I told this because Anne went and got like her ear pierced.

[Ryan]

Yeah, she went shopping or something.

[Miles]

Yeah, she just did a whole bunch of. While I was just in the hotel.

[Tyler]

That could have been you getting your.

[Ryan]

Yeah. So maybe that's why you were sick because you were. You were actually set to go with your ear pierced.

[Jared]

Free piercings. Get an earring.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's true. So, yeah, I. It's amazing that I'm here today, even 30 hours removed from throwing up.

[Ryan]

How do you feel right now? You still pretty lethargic?

[Miles]

Yeah, I feel like I'm in a dream state of some sort. You know, I feel like I'm kind of just floating around.

[Tyler]

You look great, by the way.

[Miles]

Thank you. Yeah, I did lose a bunch of weight last day or so. It was actually kind of nice post Nashville to get the flu. Then you just lose all the Nashville weight that I gained. The toxins because we ate like pieces of last week.

[Ryan]

That's okay. That's okay.

[Miles]

But it's okay. Yeah, I got the toxins out. Yeah, it's. It's kind of like I just get to restart my gut health now. You know, people have been talking a lot about gut health these days. It's nice to just clear it out, start from scratch.

[Jared]

Way easier for you to do a cleanse of some sort.

[Miles]

I did a cleanse. Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Pedialyte cleanse the less, however, so many hours.

[Tyler]

30 some.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I mean you can get on like. Everyone talks about like athletic greens and you take that for 30 days, you reset your. Your gut health, whatever. You just get a 24 hour bug.

[Jared]

Yeah. Good to go.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Just throw everything.

[Tyler]

Don't wash your hands.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Why? Why you need OIC, you just get 24 hour bug. I did hear though, there was a 24 hour bug going around.

[Jared]

You did? That was the first thing you said. I thought you were doing a bit.

[Miles]

And thinks I got it from my parents. My parents and my brother and sister in law. They all had the 24 hour bug, so.

[Jared]

And I was with them this weekend, so an's next.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That is a big part of getting sick though.

[Miles]

You.

[Tyler]

You theorize like who got you sick?

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like, yeah. Which one of you from you?

[Ryan]

Yeah, there's kind of a little resentment in. In that too.

[Tyler]

It's like, like, what's your deal?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Why. Why'd you. Why?

[Miles]

You know, it's. Yeah, it's not Where I picked it up randomly, maybe at the airport or something, considering that I'd bite my nails, you know, it was because someone gave it to me.

[Tyler]

It's a hit.

[Miles]

So, yeah, I'm here, guys. We're back. Feeling good, fish. Feeling goodish.

[Jared]

How was smash fell?

[Miles]

It was good. It was good. I feel like we did it right this time. You know, we went out. We didn't burn the whole place down. We just had some drinks, had some good times, had a lot of laughs. Yeah, we had no hiccups at all.

[Tyler]

Really.

[Miles]

Yeah, the only hiccup we had was our first flight out of Fargo got delayed, so we're gonna miss our connecting, so we just had to reroute it.

[Tyler]

Only hiccup.

[Miles]

We got in probably what, three hours later than we normally would, but, yeah, smooth sailing.

[Ryan]

Well, I. I did hear one hiccup. The one of the guys tried to get in first day, bar was locked. No one told him where to go. So then Tyler, back thousands some miles away, had to figure out how to get him in the bar.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Jared]

Who's your guest? Day one again. Regardless, who's the guest on Tuesday?

[Tyler]

Oh, Dusty Slay.

[Jared]

Yeah, Dusty Slay called me and he's like, hey, this place is locked. Where do I go in? I called the other guys. They didn't answer. So then I had to talk to Dusty Slay.

[Miles]

Yeah, you just had to walk around the corner.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I'm actually kind of jealous. I don't know, it's kind of selfish of you to bring up the laughs that you guys had, because when you guys are gone, we. There really are no laughs around here.

[Miles]

Well, whose fault is that?

[Ryan]

I don't know. I'm just. I'm too busy working, so it's like I can't provide the laughs.

[Tyler]

You could have called me. I would have given you a lot.

[Miles]

If you'd have called me.

[Ryan]

I should have called into the show is what I should have done. I should have call in the show, got some good laughs. I'd have got a laugh out of both you and Charlie, I'm sure.

[Miles]

Yeah, it was a good week. Podcast, though. I feel like the bellied up pod this last run was good.

[Tyler]

Really good.

[Miles]

Funny, very hyped for it, so. Yeah, well, there was one flight, though, that we. So we got redirected to a different flight, and all that was left on one of those flights was only middle seats.

[Jared]

Oh, no.

[Miles]

So me, Jared, and Jake all had to just ride in the plane.

[Tyler]

I got lucky, though. Nobody. Oh, yeah, by me.

[Miles]

Jared got Lucky twice.

[Jared]

No one's sitting by Jared. He chooses to stay in the middle.

[Miles]

That would be.

[Ryan]

Did you see that? And did it cross your mind to be like, hey, Jared.

[Miles]

Like, no, no, no, no. I didn't see till the very end of the floor.

[Ryan]

Gotcha.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Good on you to not say a word.

[Tyler]

I did not taunt at all.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. You threw your backpack on the seat.

[Miles]

Yes.

[Ryan]

You'd be like, yeah, a guy went to the bathroom. I think he's gonna be back soon.

[Jared]

Just save all your talking for landing.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm not gonna say a word.

[Miles]

No, you earned it, Jared.

[Tyler]

Appreciate it.

[Miles]

You earned it. All right, guys, we're back doing prize picks, and right now, if you sign up on prize picks with code YBR, you get $50 instantly when you play your first $5 lineup. You don't need to win the lineup to receive the $50 bonus. It's just guaranteed. And, boys, does it feel good to be back?

[Jared]

It does.

[Miles]

It's lineups all weekend on the Masters. Left and right, left and right. I was throwing lineups on the lefty golfers and the righty golfers.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

And the switch golfers.

[Miles]

Yes. And don't ask me how I did, but I had a great time doing it.

[Ryan]

Me too.

[Miles]

You know, on the Masters app, I clicked all my favorite golfers. You know, you can do that and put them all on one scoreboard. I had all people. I had lineups.

[Ryan]

He's never had the Masters app.

[Jared]

Never used it, but I learned about it today. Sounds like next year I'll be on it.

[Miles]

You will be. You will be. And it's a great compliment to the prize picks app. And that's what I was doing all weekend. But this week, we got a little NBA action going on. So, Jared, who do you got first?

[Tyler]

I got Duncan Robinson. More than 12 and a half points, rebounds, and assists.

[Miles]

Okay, he should be able to get that. I mean, he. He just needs, like, six points.

[Ryan]

6.6.

[Miles]

Rebounds, four rebounds, three assists, and he's got it. Like, it's not that hard.

[Tyler]

Duncan, cake.

[Miles]

So that should be easy.

[Jared]

Tyler, I have Demontes Sabonis. Sabonis, more than.

[Miles]

Great name.

[Jared]

Yeah, you're Sabonus. Bucks. Forty and more than forty and a half points, rebounds, and assists more than how many? 40 and a half.

[Miles]

Oh, I accidentally put 19 and a half.

[Jared]

Just for points.

[Miles]

For points.

[Tyler]

Oh, I'll get that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, his is gonna hit nars isn't so.

[Miles]

Yeah, that was a good. That was a complete accident by me.

[Ryan]

But flu game, game theory. I got. I have Keegan Murray, less than 11.5 points.

[Miles]

Okay, just don't shoot.

[Ryan]

Just don't shoot. Just bench him.

[Miles]

Just be a pass guy.

[Jared]

Jackie Moon, just be.

[Miles]

Yeah, Keegan Murray, just be a pass guy this game.

[Ryan]

Be a team guy.

[Miles]

Be looking for alley oops and. And all that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I have Kobe White, more than two and a half turnovers. Okay. It was a red devil. That's what attracted it to me. It to me in the first place. And I just think about how easy it is to turn the ball over.

[Tyler]

Especially in the NBA.

[Miles]

Especially in the NBA. A lot of slap happiness going on. Just the. They don't take care of the ball like they used to.

[Ryan]

No, not like the Jordan.

[Miles]

So.

[Tyler]

And Mr. White has the ball a lot, so.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So I think two and a half. More than two and a half turnovers is a shoe in. No problem. And so that's our lineup, guys. So let's see. Yeah, you. You had him at 40.

[Jared]

More than 40 and a half points, assists, and rebounds.

[Miles]

Oh, okay.

[Jared]

Got it.

[Miles]

I thought it was just points. I was like, that's a.

[Jared]

It'd be more than red.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So, guys, if you want to play along with us, you got to get the prize picks app. Use code YBR. If you post your first $5 lineup, you get $50 instantly, just like that.

[Jared]

Also, if you guys are playing on your own and you hit. Send us your bet.

[Miles]

Yeah, we would love to see it. Yeah, let's make this a community thing. You know, we're not out here alone. Yeah.

[Ryan]

If you're on a heater, send us your slips before.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah. They go active ahead of time.

[Miles]

Send slips.

[Tyler]

Slip pics.

[Ryan]

Send us a slip pics.

[Miles]

Send slip pics. All I want to do is look at slip pics.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

All day long.

[Miles]

All day, all night. Slip picks. All right, guys, have fun. Got some infomercials today.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we can start with those. Let me pull it up here.

[Ryan]

Where do you find these, by the way?

[Tyler]

On YouTube.

[Ryan]

On YouTube, you just type. Yeah. Ridiculous information.

[Jared]

Stays up really late every night just watching infomercials, hoping that he finds a good one.

[Ryan]

He records it on the 2B or whatever.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's the only reason I have cables just for this.

[Miles]

Yeah, he's got TiVo.

[Ryan]

TiVo.

[Miles]

Yeah, he has to download it from TiVo.

[Tyler]

So I'll show you guys three infomercials and you decide if you'll buy it or not buy it.

[Miles]

Okay, here's the first one.

[Ryan]

Buy or no?

[E]

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[Miles]

So they're just magnified glasses big time. Correct. Right. 1. I do think it is dumb that we like. It is kind of. Binoculars are kind of dumb.

[Jared]

No, I. If these things actually would magnify a ton, I would take them hunting and just like put them on my head.

[Miles]

They're just like glasses.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

If you could get like a. You know like the baseball lenses that like flip up when you don't want the sunglasses on. Yeah, something like that. You can flip them up and down so you got regular sight.

[Jared]

I think it'd be super convenient, especially if I'm hunting, to not have to have both arms up and turning my whole ass body to glass for deer. Yeah, If I could just slowly turn my head, that'd be sweet.

[Miles]

Jared, I don't know if you know, you're not much of a hunter, but not much. Glassing for deer is just looking for deer.

[Ryan]

Just so you know.

[Jared]

But you. It's called glassing because you use binoculars and they're.

[Miles]

No, I know, but I just wanted to clear that up because I. That might have just gone right over.

[Tyler]

Like you're blowing glass.

[Ryan]

Big glass guy. Big glass guy. I get it.

[Miles]

But yeah, that's actually what photographers call lenses as well. They call it glass.

[Tyler]

It's more my wheelhouse.

[Jared]

I thought they call it ones and twos.

[Miles]

No. Yeah. Jake, on the Patreon. God, poor guy.

[Ryan]

I mean, the. The patrons, they let. They let us know that Jake was a disaster.

[Jared]

They sure did.

[Miles]

It's just.

[Tyler]

It wasn't that bad.

[Miles]

He wasn't that bad. But it's just the classic. If you just say something confidently, you'll just sound like you know what you're talking about. And that's kind of Jake in a nutshell.

[Jared]

There was one. One patron commented. It summed it up perfectly. It's like, it's honestly impressive how confidently wrong he is.

[Miles]

I know.

[Ryan]

I gotta go back and listen to that one.

[Tyler]

Oh, wow.

[Miles]

Also pretty suspect that the zoomies. The example that they did of using these zoomies to zoom in and view things is just a high school girls soccer game.

[Jared]

It just zoomed in on a young girl playing sports.

[Miles]

Pretty weird.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's like, I mean, you're. You're field side at a high school. Like, why do you have to zoom in?

[Jared]

You don't need 300 magnification to see 12ft.

[Miles]

I will have to say, though, that having binoculars around your neck after about 20 minutes is pretty annoying. Yeah. And now I know they got the chest mount ones, but.

[Jared]

But those are kind of a pain in the ass to put on.

[Miles]

So that is the pain point that I do agree with. That having binoculars around your necks kind of sucks.

[Jared]

I. I think I would actually buy these.

[Miles]

I think I'd try them out.

[Ryan]

I would too. Yeah, I would too.

[Miles]

And I.

[Ryan]

You know, being out in the wilderness is. You ain't gonna care how you look if you're wearing those at a high school soccer game. Yeah, you're gonna get psycho.

[Miles]

You're. Well, you're gonna get arrested.

[Ryan]

That too.

[Miles]

If I went to a high school girls soccer game right now with those on, I'd probably get arrested.

[Jared]

And a trench coat standing outside the fence.

[Tyler]

Don't want to pay for a ticket.

[Miles]

Are you a dad who left their family, but now your kid is the star on the football team.

[Tyler]

Your kid on the weekends, you.

[Miles]

And you don't want to necessarily go into the stands because you're not allowed.

[Jared]

300 yards from a school.

[Miles]

We'll stand on the edge of the field and use zoomies.

[Tyler]

It's got 300 yard magnification.

[Miles]

No, I'd like to try those out.

[Jared]

I think I would too.

[Tyler]

All right, here's the second one.

[Miles]

I mean, they're just glass. They're just really magnified glasses. So it'd be like if. If Tyler's glasses were just 300x instead of what they currently are.

[Jared]

I don't think they magnify. They just clarify. It might magnify. I don't know.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Miles]

I don't.

[Ryan]

Fuck the point, Tyler.

[Miles]

How it works. I don't know how glasses work. I'm not Ben Franklin.

[Tyler]

Here's the second one.

[E]

Next time you're feeling down, feeling that no one really gets you, or you're just wanting to hear some encouraging words, well, there's a solution.

[Jared]

You can have what you want. You can do it.

[Ryan]

The finish line is closer than you think.

[E]

The Cheers to you CD is eight tracks filled with encouragement and cheering, applause. It's even been featured on the Ellen DeGeneres Show.

[Ryan]

We're on your side.

[E]

We're here for you.

[F]

We believe in you.

[E]

We guarantee you'll be feeling better about yourself and your life or we'll give you your money back. Call 1-877-545-6715 now to order the cheers to you CD. And you'll also receive three puzzle shaped affirmative tokens. One says, I am courageous. Another, I am unstoppable. And the third, without me, the puzzle is incomplete. Together, all these items Normally sell for $35, but right now you can get them for only 24.95. Call now.

[Miles]

And don't forget, hooray for you.

[Jared]

I'm pretty sure a puzzle piece is like this. The logo for autism awareness.

[Miles]

We know that Ryan's buying this.

[Jared]

No, you have a playlist of stuff that you. Better than this, but similar.

[Miles]

You literally have a playlist that is that.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Back in 2014, you guys, people change in 10 years. Also, it sounded like a Joel Osteen sermon or something from back in, like 20.

[Miles]

I like how, though, that just says that there's cheering and applause.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Imagine just, just sitting there listening to cheering and applause and being like, yes, they love me.

[Jared]

We believe in you.

[Ryan]

The one thing that would sell me, though, is that it was. It was featured on Alan.

[Miles]

That's a big selling point. Yeah. And Ellen. Everyone knows that. Ellen's a great gal.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Good galan.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That guy had to feel phenomenal.

[Jared]

Did you see him? He looks pumped.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You know what I should do is I should purchase that and then during the summer series, just have my AirPods and just be playing that on loop throughout the summer series.

[Tyler]

There you go.

[Ryan]

For two games.

[Jared]

Should actually play that like on a. On a JBL speaker or something.

[Tyler]

Turn this off.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm. I'm definitely out on this product.

[Jared]

I. I wouldn't spend my own money on it either.

[Ryan]

That's how YouTube is. This is probably pre YouTube.

[Miles]

I mean, if it was on Spotify, I'd sa it a listen just to see what the whole. For the hoopla is about.

[Ryan]

I don't. You. You. I don't think you would. Or would you.

[Miles]

I. Well, now that I know it exists, I wouldn't search it out without, you.

[Ryan]

Know, what's it called? You are great or something.

[Tyler]

Cheers to you.

[Ryan]

Cheers to you. Yeah.

[Miles]

Unbelievable encouragement. Cheering, applause and Featured on Ellen DeGeneres Show. I would like a followup of the feature on the Ellen DeGeneres.

[Tyler]

I'll try to find it.

[Miles]

Now watch. It's like featured on the Ellen degener show. It's Ellen's like on.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I would like to know who the voice is because I guess again it sounds like Joel Osteen. It's kind of like Rogan on Fear Factor before I give him podcasts. Like, this is Osteen before.

[Jared]

Yeah. You know he's a voice actor.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I didn't know you're such an Osteen head.

[Ryan]

No, I just remember. I just remember the whole controversy with Osteen and then righteous gemstones kind of reminded me of that.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

So that makes sense. This is definitely a product that the righteous gemstones would put out versus sell it for just. Just them doing encouragement on a DVD or whatever.

[Tyler]

Make stupid money. Yeah.

[Miles]

Like the prayer pods. Have you guys seen it?

[Jared]

I've heard you guys talk about it a thousand times.

[Miles]

People are just jerking off. All right, Ryan, you're like, put lotion in them. I didn't want people to have dry hands while they're trying to pray.

[Jared]

Right.

[Tyler]

You'll love this one. Okay, I think you're going to buy this one immediately.

[G]

It's the problem in the marriage bed that no one likes to talk about. Maybe that's why they call it silent but deadly. Well, now there's a real solution to a very real problem. Introducing the better marriage blanket. On the outside, the better marriage blanket looks and feels just like a soft, warm comforter. But on the inside, it contains a layer of activated carbon fabric, the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons. Flatulence. Molecules easily pass through the cotton shell and are harmlessly absorbed into the layer of carbon fabric. Even when used on top of bedsheets, offending molecules are absorbed before anyone knows they're there. So whether you or your spouse suffers from a health issue or just the occasional disagreeable meal, owe it to your marriage to try the better marriage Blanket. It makes a great wedding gift or anniversary gift, too. To order, call 1-800-981-1134. Just three easy payments of 39.95 online at buy better marriageblanket.com. order now.

[Ryan]

I don't know if you guys noticed, but what a psychotic move for them to switch sides on the bed right away. They were on. They were on. Husband is on the right side. And then.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, that's never happens. Once you're locked into a side of the bed, you're locked for sure. Side of the bed.

[Ryan]

I think if I were to buy this, I would cut it into squares and line my boxers with it.

[Tyler]

Oh, that's good.

[Miles]

All I know is Ann would buy this in a heartbeat. She's really. She would be like, if there's. I'll try anything.

[Ryan]

For you or for.

[Miles]

Herself, for our marriage.

[Ryan]

Gotcha.

[Miles]

He said it's a marriage saver.

[Jared]

Hey. Well, three easy payments of 39.95 and then it's yours.

[Miles]

You mean really you putting a price on your marriage?

[Jared]

Yeah, that's true. It's 120 bucks.

[Miles]

So basically, they're saying you launch farts into the covers and then it just traps them in there forever.

[Tyler]

It Dutch ovens itself. I guess.

[Miles]

It'S like, you know how on, like, your toaster, there's like a little, like, crumb catcher at the bottom that you pull out? It's like you have to, like, pull out the. The fart catcher inside of the thing about once a month.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And you have to, like, air it out and it just smells worse than anything you can imagine.

[Jared]

Well, I. I do also like that they. They likened farts in the bed to chemical weapons used in warfare.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like, it's, you know, napalm or whatever.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Agent Orange in the bed.

[Ryan]

You gotta.

[Miles]

I mean, the way my wife acts. She acts like when I fart in bed, it's like she's in a gas chamber in Auschwitz.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That's the way she acts. Yeah.

[Ryan]

You gotta line your bunker with these blankets.

[Jared]

Yeah. No chemical weapons getting in.

[Ryan]

No. You don't even need to dig a hole.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Better doomsday blanket.

[Jared]

Does carbon absorb radiation? Radiation. Thank you.

[Miles]

Probably the way they talking.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. I've tried out.

[Miles]

Also, there was a period of time in infomercials and just marketing in general that people would just slap that this is stuff that the military uses.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

And people are like, well, then, you know, it's high quality for sure. You know, it's great. The military uses or. Or it. It stems from a development from the military.

[Jared]

The only thing they use the military to advertise now, I feel like, is flashlights. I'm always seeing ads for military grade flashlights.

[Ryan]

I got one. They're awesome.

[Jared]

Is it sweet? Yeah, it better be.

[Ryan]

I bought the big one too. I meant to buy a little one. Big one came.

[Jared]

How many lumens?

[Ryan]

I don't know. I don't know lumens, but I assume like 40,000.

[Miles]

I don't know if you guys remember when memory foam came out. It, like, basically said that, like, NASA uses memory foam and people were hooked.

[Jared]

But the. The commercial, I still remember the ladies jumping on one corner of the bed and there's a glass of wine in.

[Miles]

The other, and they're like, NASA this. And like, yeah, they did.

[Jared]

Hell yeah. Space mattress.

[Miles]

Good.

[Ryan]

And they probably sold millions of those things.

[Tyler]

It's good foam, if I remember correct.

[Miles]

I would like to buy this just to see what if it actually works.

[Jared]

I. I feel like you'd have to have separate ones.

[Miles]

I was thinking that it was going to be like a blanket that was kind of like a sleeping bag style.

[Jared]

Two, like a. Two separate it.

[Miles]

That would actually be way smarter.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It would still seep out the. The top, like where your head's at. You'd have to give it some time.

[Jared]

Carbon would get it for before you got out.

[Miles]

What they should invent is just like a air sucker. So, like, now you can. There's this thing with, like, where you can control the temperature of your bed. My cousin has one.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

So basically it's like this little, like, fan that goes up onto your bed and like, underneath your sheets and, like, blow cool air? If you're someone who gets too hot while they're sleep.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

Why don't they just have one that sucks air out and then, like, have it go out a window and so you're just sucking your farts out from underneath the blanket out the window.

[Jared]

Why don't they just make a pair of boxers? It's like a CPAP machine, except in reverse, just sucking air straight out of your pants.

[Miles]

So you want to CPAP your butthole.

[Jared]

Yeah. Except you're reverse cpapping it instead of getting oxygen in, oxygen out.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Kind of feels good.

[Miles]

I don't know if what's coming out of my ass is oxygen or not.

[Jared]

But it's the same thing, you guys, except more personalized.

[Ryan]

You guys ever seen, like, on wakeboarding boats, they have those tubes of, like, warm air that you can Put on the towels. They should, they should have something like that where it's like it kind of just, it filters out of the wall so that when you have to fart, you just like flip a switch and then put it up to your butthole and then sucks it straight outside. Kind of like. Like a dryer vent on the outside.

[Miles]

It's like a fart tube city.

[Ryan]

Yes, pretty much. Yeah.

[Tyler]

There we go.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Jared]

And you have it going directly into your siblings room.

[Ryan]

Great prank.

[Jared]

It's way more efficient than cupping farts and throwing them at them.

[Tyler]

Yeah, streamlined.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, it'd be nice. You rip ass and just flip a sweats.

[Ryan]

Well, we talked about it's equivalent to.

[Miles]

When you're driving the car hard, you fart and you open the windows. It's equivalent to that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, we talked about like the AC seats. But having something that would like suck farts out.

[Jared]

Yes, we did do that, didn't we?

[Miles]

It'd be funny though. They have the little suction underneath the covers and like you flip it on and like the covers just like suction you to the bed. Like shrink wrapping to the bed, like.

[Jared]

Stuck in there.

[Ryan]

And they do that. So like you like, if you do have to go to the bath, like have to go take a piss, you can't like flip the covers open for like five minutes until it all dissolves out. Because when you, if you shit yourself and then you flip the covers to go like take a piss, then it all just fills the air. That's, that's the issue right there.

[Tyler]

Don't want to shit the bed.

[Ryan]

I conveniently have to go piss and I just shit my pants 30 seconds ago. You know, it hasn't even made its way to the top of the covers yet, but now it's gonna fill the entire room.

[Tyler]

It's gonna stick.

[Ryan]

And like, like my wife's, she's pregnant right now, so some smells like just don't sit well. And then she would throw up. She'd be miles. She'd be miles. 30 hours ago, 6am yeah, on accident though.

[Miles]

I, you know, also I like how you're like some smells, you know?

[Ryan]

What do you mean?

[Miles]

Like, oh, like lasagna. Right now we're talking about raunchy, silent, but deadly farts.

[Jared]

But. Right.

[Miles]

It's not just some smells, you know what I mean?

[Jared]

Right.

[Miles]

Like you're acting like, oh, like I burped and like whatever we're talking like something died inside you farts.

[Jared]

But Ryan's smell good. Especially in the shower.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Ryan]

It's you guys who keep bringing the shower.

[Miles]

I didn't bring it up.

[Ryan]

No, I know. That's why I said.

[Jared]

Yeah, just reminding people.

[Ryan]

I think you're the one who likes to shit yourself in the shower. And then I think. I think you big blew it. I think you fogged put it in a jar and then sniff it on the way.

[Jared]

That is a wild thing to just claim.

[Ryan]

Well, you're the one who brought brought.

[Jared]

So it's the thing that you did.

[Ryan]

You weren't even Tyler. You didn't even work at this company. When this comes.

[Jared]

I've heard about it 100 times matter you.

[Ryan]

You heard it secondhand. You ever play the game telephone now?

[Jared]

I did. I heard it secondhand and then I had it corroborated by another party. Anne and Miles both said it separately.

[Tyler]

Parties.

[Ryan]

Would you keep that between us? We can't just be telling other people.

[Tyler]

Cats out of the bag.

[Miles]

I mean, I. What do you want me to do? You want me to go back and just scrub the Internet of you talking about loving the smell of your farts?

[Ryan]

The context is not.

[Miles]

We'll read. I mean now we're just gonna. It's gonna be the. What is it? The Barbra Streisand effect? I mean the second you tell everyone to just get rid of it, it's going to make it go more.

[Ryan]

So maybe that's the plan.

[Miles]

It's a weird plan.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So I'm. I'm maybe buying two out of three of those.

[Tyler]

It's pretty good.

[Miles]

The. The binocular glasses and the. The blankets, the sheets. You can really tell when. When Ryan thinks the topic is funny. It's usually around farts.

[Tyler]

So Ryan, you're definitely buying this, the better marriage blanket?

[Ryan]

I would try it out. I'm actually surprised they don't have a money back guarantee. Or maybe they do. Maybe I missed it. I don't think I do a 30 day money back guarantee. In those 30 days I'd be eating chili. I eat it fresh off the off the stove and then I eat it for leftovers two days after that.

[Tyler]

Really?

[Ryan]

That'll put it towards to the test.

[Jared]

It's a crazy name for that blanket too.

[Ryan]

What sheets?

[Jared]

The best. That's better than the better marriage blanket.

[Ryan]

What is the name of them again?

[Jared]

Better marriage blanket.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I kind of like better. It's very memorable though. Better blanket.

[Miles]

I think it's also great to assume that the reason most marriage issues come from farting in bed.

[Jared]

Yeah, that's not where I thought the commercial was going when it started. A couple in bed. It's like, is your marriage on the rocks? Like, this is an ED commercial, isn't it?

[Miles]

I mean, it's basically farting in bed is an ED commercial.

[Ryan]

Introducing KY Jelly fire. Nice. It's like the first KY commercial ever made.

[Tyler]

I'll dig that one up later, do some research.

[Jared]

You tired of using spit?

[Tyler]

You tired of Hawk 2 egg?

[Ryan]

Are the tariffs, Are tariffs too high on Jurgen's lotion? Is Jurgen's lotion the new eggs?

[Tyler]

What was the commercial made?

[Jared]

How did they know?

[Ryan]

History always repeats itself, though. You know, I think back in the 80s, egg prices were high too.

[Miles]

What else is going on?

[Jared]

I was single dad all weekend.

[Miles]

Mm.

[Jared]

Yeah. Single dad from Friday until tonight. So Becca went to. She went on a trip. Went to Idaho. And the, the weirdest thing, she does this all the time. And Jared and I were talking about this too. When our wives leave, they, they think we can't cook. She, like, before she left, she's like, just so you know, I put, I got a bunch of frozen pizzas and some sandwich meat.

[Ryan]

We. Well, she's not wrong when it comes to frozen pizz.

[Miles]

I mean, true, I mean, fro. She should have known that you can't cook a frozen pizza either.

[Jared]

But it's like she thinks that I, I, I don't know how to cook anything. I cook two nights a week.

[Miles]

What are you complaining about, though? It's just nice.

[Jared]

It's just like, I'm not a kid. Like, I can do it. Thank you.

[Ryan]

What's your go to? Usually, because you don't. You're not a griller.

[Miles]

So it's not burgers or the macaroni and cheese.

[Jared]

Dad. Meal is macaroni and cheese and venison hot dogs.

[Miles]

One can.

[Tyler]

Great.

[Miles]

One can arguably say that that's not cooking.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's not. But I know how to cook.

[Miles]

Okay, what can you cook then?

[Jared]

What do you need me to cook?

[Tyler]

Enchiladas.

[Jared]

I can make pastas. I can make pancakes, eggs.

[Ryan]

We understand. Macaron. Macaroni and cheese is pasta.

[Miles]

It's pasta. Yeah, true.

[Jared]

I was thinking pasta doesn't count.

[Miles]

Like, don't kids in their dorm room can make.

[Jared]

Yeah, I'm thinking, like, Alfredo. My kids really like Alfredo and pancakes.

[Miles]

You just, you just pour water into the pancake.

[Jared]

Right. I'm not saying it's advanced, but it's like, I'm, I can do more than pizzas and sandwiches.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you can get your kids tummies full.

[Jared]

I, I, yeah, I can make sure the family is fed.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

He's like, is that the only thing guys know how to cook? Is Jared saying that that happens with him too?

[Tyler]

Like I cook probably more than my wife and then she does the same thing when she leaves. She'll buy like pizzas and the whole nine yards. But I'm arguably a better cook than she is.

[Miles]

And never ever bought me food when she leaves.

[Ryan]

No, I think my wife just, she maybe. Even though I don't really struggle when she's gone in terms of cooking wise, I think she just likes to maybe think that I struggle and she wants to see that.

[Jared]

She wants you, Wants you to be desperate?

[Ryan]

Yeah, a little bit. Because she does most of the cooking. And so I think she just wants me to struggle a little bit in that, in that sense.

[Miles]

Well, why do you think she buys all that stuff so you don't have to cook?

[Jared]

Well, I, I really think it comes down to she doesn't want me to be stressed about cooking when it's just me and the kids, which I get. It's a nice, nice gesture. Like I don't, I'm not mad at her for it. I just thought it was funny.

[Tyler]

The quickest way to your heart is the tummy. So yeah, that's what it is.

[Miles]

So did you have a bunch of pizza then?

[Jared]

We had pizza the first day for lunch. You got like seven of them.

[Miles]

Well, she knew that. About 50 of them.

[Jared]

You can't burn them on the pizzazz.

[Miles]

Okay, so we're having pizza. We probably need two full pizzas. So I should probably buy six because he's probably gonna burn the first four.

[Jared]

Didn't burn any, but we had, we made two pizzas the first day and then we just ate those for leftovers another day and we were at grandparents houses. So I cooked like one meal. Like we were all over this weekend.

[Miles]

So what did you cook?

[Jared]

The pizzas? We were only home for the pizza meal. Otherwise we were at grandparents houses.

[Miles]

There you go.

[Jared]

We had an Easter deal on Sunday and whatnot, but we were just never home.

[Miles]

So what can you cook? Like can you. You know what I mean?

[Jared]

So like my go to like pasta.

[Miles]

Doesn'T count, pizzas don't count, sandwiches don't count.

[Jared]

My go to if I'm trying to impress somebody sort of meal like I made this for my wife when we first started dating is like a big stuffed shell dish that has like a gravy and it has stuffing and chicken breast and like you put chop up celery in there.

[Miles]

Why don't you. Why don't you cook that for her again? Is that the last time you cooked down?

[Jared]

I've cooked it multiple times. I usually cook it on our anniversary because it's a little cheese dick. Like, look at me. Remember when we had this when we first started dating?

[Ryan]

You say cheese sticks or cheese dicks?

[Jared]

Cheese dick. It's a cheese dick move. Okay.

[Miles]

Jesus.

[Tyler]

Come on.

[Jared]

Right there is. There is parmesan cheese on top of the shells. Before you bake it though.

[Ryan]

The move is to like pre make some like tater tot hot dishes, throw them in the freezer, and so I.

[Jared]

Can make tater tot hot dish, layer.

[Ryan]

It all up, and then freeze it.

[Miles]

When we had our kid, my mother in law made us breakfast burritos and then put them in the freezer.

[Jared]

That's such a baller.

[Miles]

That's the move.

[Ryan]

That's a move right there.

[Miles]

Heating up a breakfast burrito any time of the day is just the best.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I couldn't agree more.

[Miles]

You know, I can. I get. I like a breakfast burrito, but ever since she did that, I. I eat a lot more breakfast burritos.

[Jared]

Like, a homemade breakfast burrito is top tier. I'd rather have a breakfast burrito made at home than a regular burrito.

[Ryan]

I would. I. I think I'd agree.

[Miles]

A breakfast burrito made at home versus a.

[Jared]

No, a regular burrito made at home.

[Ryan]

Like a beef and bean burrito.

[Jared]

Like, if I went out to a Mexican restaurant, I would want a regular burrito over a breakfast burrito. But, like homemade. I want breakfast more than regular.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm. I'm not making burritos at home.

[Tyler]

You should try it.

[Miles]

I know, I'll just order it. It's funny, but you can't like, order a good breakfast burrito, so you make that at home.

[Tyler]

Gotcha.

[Miles]

I don't know if I'm making Mexican at home. Just having tacos. Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

I'm having chips and salsa. Yeah. My wife is gone last. It would have been last night. Last night or two nights ago? No, she was at an art show, so I just. Chips, cheese, taco meat.

[Miles]

What is an art show that you.

[Jared]

Go to look at art?

[Ryan]

Yeah, you're just like, people display their art and you can, like, go buy it.

[Miles]

She went somewhere for that.

[Ryan]

Yeah, like a downtown Fargo.

[Miles]

Oh, I thought she, like, went on a trip.

[Ryan]

No, no, she went on a drive.

[Miles]

Okay, got it, got it. I thought she went somewhere.

[Ryan]

No, no, no, no. Like travel.

[Miles]

Like, I didn't know she Was such an artificial sewer.

[Jared]

They're fancy. They have the proper stemware for all lines.

[Ryan]

Yeah, that's true.

[Miles]

Did she buy anything?

[Ryan]

No, no. Just went to look around.

[Miles]

Just a purist. Just look at it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I've been to one art show in my life. I went to a pottery show at the art museum in Fargo. It's kind of cool.

[Ryan]

I went to the art museum in Chicago.

[Jared]

Oh, sorry.

[Miles]

That could have been me.

[Jared]

Yeah, it could have been.

[Ryan]

But speaking of recipes. Tyler. Or not, not recipes, but just cooking in general. This was probably a couple weeks ago I realized this. I had to write it my phone because it was. How absurd it was. Recipe websites are a disaster.

[Jared]

Oh my God, dude, you're spot on.

[Ryan]

It's like, like, it's almost like you're entering like an EDM festival When you hit that web page and they're. Because there's blinking ads all over the place. The web page is reloading and just goes blank for like five seconds every 10 seconds. And you have to scroll a mile. And I understand some of them have like go to rest. Like go to ingredients list or whatever at the top. But you scroll for a mile and a half before you can even.

[Miles]

It's like we. It's a classic. I'm here for the recipe. I don't need a whole life story. Dude.

[Jared]

The life story.

[Ryan]

I don't care if your aunt Janet fucking really enjoyed this. At Christmas in 2001, eight in 1979.

[Jared]

My aunt would come over for Christmas. And Christmas time was a special time in our home because Uncle Jerry was there and Uncle Jerry would tell the best stories around the fire. It's like, get to the fucking sugar cookie recipe.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Just tell me what I need in it.

[Jared]

And so me doing woodworking projects, they're the exact same thing. Project plans. They have to tell you an entire four paragraph story about why they make the thing that they make.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

It's like, I just need to know how to assemble this.

[Miles]

And they don't ever tell you the information that you want to know? No, you know, it's like information you want to know is like, you know, have some. You would need some fresh slice parmesan cheese in this. Right? They should have in there. Like. But if you. If you're not a crazy person and you don't have parmesan around, like in a block that you can then fresh grate into your thing, the stuff in the little plastic can will do. Like it needs notes like that.

[Ryan]

Correct. Yes.

[Miles]

You know what I mean? If you don't have a skillet on the ready, then a regular pan will do. Yeah, you know, a lot of whatever will do. Yeah.

[Jared]

Alternative options.

[Miles]

It needs. Yeah, it needs, like, recipes need a. This is the best, but this will also do.

[Jared]

Agreed.

[Tyler]

Yeah. It's like, if you're hungover, just throw in the noodles now and the boiling water.

[Miles]

Yeah, that would also be nice. Is a timetable of when to put stuff in. I can't tell you how many times that I've had one portion of the meal that I cooked ready to go for about a half hour, just waiting, waiting for the other thing to finish, and then that gets cold, then you have to reheat that and then that.

[Jared]

It's the whole thing on your, like, alternative, like, good enough thing. They should also have, like, substitutes because, like, even when you look at the recipe, you'll probably forget to buy one thing at this restaurant or at the grocery store and, like, have the importance listed next to it. Like, if you forgot the paprika, it's still going to be okay.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

Like, you don't need it. It just adds to it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, Right.

[Tyler]

It's like out of five or something. One out of five for paprika.

[Jared]

Right. Like, how important it is. Or these are things you can substitute in, like, no salt. Add Lowry's. That'll work.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. If you're doing a chicken cordon blue, chicken should be five out of five.

[Jared]

Yeah, Correct. And the cordon and the blue are pretty important, too.

[Ryan]

I also wish they would give you. And I understand every, like, oven or stove is different, but giving us, like, us males, like, numbers on the dial on, you know. Okay, medium high heat. Well, these noodles have been done for 45 minutes on medium high heat. I'm still working on the sauce over here, so can you give me. Hey, turn your oven to number four right now. Perfect. Okay. Medium high heat. What the.

[Jared]

You know, medium high is just directly between medium and that's what I do.

[Ryan]

But, you know, an hour and a half goes by and my kid is now sleeping and didn't get fed for the night because I'm still trying to get the sauce made while the noodles sit. You know, it's like, all right, we'll have this tomorrow.

[Miles]

Now, there is something that noodles usually cook the fastest. So, yeah, I would recommend cooking the sauce first.

[Ryan]

I know, I know.

[Miles]

And also, anything on medium high heat for an hour and a half is going to be.

[Ryan]

No, I'm saying it's been done. It's been. It's been done and ready to go. For the next step for an hour and a half. But I'm still on.

[Miles]

Ryan's still doing the sauce, so his noodles just end up becoming a puree because he cooks them so long.

[Jared]

I don't know. He's cooked them so long that they went from hard to soft and now they're getting hard again.

[Ryan]

Well, and it can, can like a noodle recipe. Like can it, can it tell me to throw it against the cabinet to see if it sticks? Yeah, you know, like let me throw something because that's how I feel right now. Just let me throw the noodle at the, at the cabinet. But if you don't tell me to do that, I won't because I'm following the recipe. I will not stray. Also, I'm one downfall I have is I clean shit up as I go. Same where my wife's the opposite. That's why she can like manage so many things at a different time is because she just leaves everything out. I gotta clean up. So I think that's where I, I lose time. That's a personal flaw. Chat GPT is the best for recipes. There's no fluff involved.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Ryan]

Chat GPT doesn't need to tell me how I'm gonna feel warm and fuzzy after eating this.

[Jared]

That's actually really smart though. Just take the link from the recipe you're trying to make, throw it in Chat GPT and just say, simplify this.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, it's good life.

[Ryan]

I had a bunch of deer sausage I had to use up. And again, I don't cook very often, so this one time I did cook. Okay, I'm gonna Chat GPT. What can I make with deer sausages? Sausage found like a great hot dish recipe. Come to find out my wife's not a huge deer sausage fan, so she didn't really eat much of it. It's like.

[Miles]

Well, I don't think that's the recipe's fault.

[Ryan]

No, it's like the one time I try and like be helpful and cook. She doesn't like it.

[Jared]

Chat GPT first. Are you sure your wife likes this before you make it?

[Ryan]

That's a good point.

[Miles]

The. God, what was I gonna say? Dear sausage, I don't remember. I got flu brain.

[Ryan]

Yeah, you do.

[Miles]

I got absolute. I'm starting to crumble right now.

[Tyler]

So.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Anyways, disastrous EDM concert. If you have anxiety, don't look up recipes. Yeah, it's already stressful enough.

[Jared]

So single dadding after. On Sunday night I dropped the boys off at grandparents house because I had to go to work in the morning. So for the first time since I moved into this house, and for a significant time before that, I was truly alone. Like, my dog was gone, my kids were gone, my wife was gone, and I had absolutely no idea what to do with myself.

[Ryan]

What do you mean?

[Jared]

I got that out of the way right away. I immediately got.

[Miles]

You kidding me?

[Jared]

I immediately got that out of the way.

[Miles]

I had no idea what to do.

[Ryan]

What do I do with my hand?

[Jared]

I'm not gonna crank it for five hours.

[Miles]

What do I do?

[Jared]

I could. I. I guess I could.

[Miles]

What do I do?

[Ryan]

I know this baseboard heater doesn't connect here, but maybe I should try anyway because I'm bored.

[Jared]

No. So I. I was bored. So I went into the wood shop.

[Miles]

Shop.

[Jared]

I finished all the projects that were happening.

[Ryan]

Shop. That's actually a clever name.

[Jared]

Thank you.

[Ryan]

Oh, AKA the bathroom.

[Jared]

No, after.

[Miles]

I can't imagine you're a stand up guy, huh?

[Ryan]

I just said the first thing that you run into when you walk into the bathroom. Toilet, shower, whatever.

[Jared]

I. I do have the patience to make it further than the sink.

[Ryan]

Trying to make a joke about how.

[Jared]

All right, so anyway, I finished. I finished all my half done projects in the wood shop. And I was like, I still. I don't have any responsibilities. So I just started making wooden swords.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Miles]

I was like, mike, it's on a Sunday night.

[Jared]

Sunday and last night. And so we're making swords on the side.

[Ryan]

That's a great band name.

[Jared]

Sunday night. Monday night. And then last night I was like, all right. I practiced for two days. I'm gonna make a sword. And so I did.

[Ryan]

And then you had a sword fight?

[Jared]

No, I'm gonna give them to my kids. They're gonna. They're. I made one for me.

[Miles]

So why are your kids at grandma and grandpa's at night when you're there?

[Ryan]

They had supper ready because I would.

[Jared]

Just have to go drop them off in the morning. So I went there, I'd hang out with them until like bedtime and then I would just come back home because otherwise I'd just be driving back and forth each day.

[Miles]

Yeah, it makes sense.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like Tyler on Sunday was planning on bringing the kids Monday morning, but he burnt the pizza and was like, it. I'll just bring you to your grandparents. They can cook for you.

[Tyler]

They're good cooks.

[Jared]

But. So if you guys have any requests, I'll make you a sword. It's my new hobby.

[Ryan]

Can we see a couple pictures?

[Miles]

But a wooden sword doesn't do anything for anyone.

[Jared]

It's fun. They're kids. They. They just grab sticks out of the woods and pretend they're swords.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah. For kids. Is it more of a dagger or a sword sword?

[Jared]

Theirs are smaller. I made a full ass sword for myself.

[Tyler]

Nice.

[Jared]

It's sick. I'm proud of it.

[Ryan]

You could bring it to a like a larping meetup.

[Jared]

I could. I went with a sort of a scimitar sort of look. I don't know if you know, like a pirate sword kinda.

[Ryan]

And what are you cutting? These are two. Two by fours or what?

[Jared]

Yeah, so I. I ripped a 2 by 4. The tall way in half so it's a little thinner, and then made a pommel and. And then I took it to the grinder. I drew the shape on it, took it to the grinder and made the shape.

[Ryan]

How sharp did you get it?

[Jared]

I didn't make it too sharp.

[Tyler]

Splinters.

[Jared]

Because they're gonna be whacking each other with them.

[Ryan]

What you should do is you should make a spear and you should try and spear a deer in your backyard. And during deer season, obviously, like Jared Allen did.

[Jared]

I don't know if Minnesota sells deer spear tags.

[Ryan]

Just be like a oversized boat bow tag with an oversized arrow.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Ryan]

So anyway, that's actually kind of cool.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's been fun.

[Ryan]

Took care of one sword and then on to the next sword.

[Miles]

You had yourself a sword film.

[Jared]

I did. I did.

[Tyler]

Wood sharpens wood.

[Ryan]

That it does. That it does.

[Miles]

I guess not. Oh, maybe not.

[Jared]

So if we ever do a show and tell, I'll bring them in for you.

[Tyler]

That's a good idea.

[Miles]

We don't want to see your sword.

[Jared]

Yeah, you do. It's a sweet sword.

[Tyler]

Tell us about it.

[Ryan]

Yeah, we'll take a peek.

[Jared]

So it's really hard and it curves at the end.

[Ryan]

Oh, we'll take a peek.

[Jared]

There's a knob toward it. Towards the one end of it.

[Ryan]

Nice grip. A nice grip on it.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's molded to my grip, actually. So pretty cool sword.

[Ryan]

Did you make a case for it?

[Jared]

No, no sheath yet. She's in Idaho.

[Miles]

My God. No respect. There's no respect on this podcast, Ryan.

[Ryan]

I know. I just asked if you made a.

[Miles]

There's just no respect.

[Ryan]

Make a pocket sword.

[Miles]

Well, what is Coachella? AI.

[Tyler]

So Coachella is happening, as you guys probably know. So I did.

[Ryan]

This is. This is the. This is the pre game to Fire Fest 2, which we're coming. We got to be coming up on soon.

[Tyler]

It's gonna Be a month. It's like May 30th.

[Miles]

I think it got pushed.

[Tyler]

It got pushed again.

[Jared]

No.

[Tyler]

So we gotta wait for Fire Fest.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

But I did AI generated photo of what we would look like at Coachella. Oh, yeah, this is the. There's just two images. This is the first one. That's us.

[Miles]

So one, I love that I got the Mars Cheese Castle shirt on. I'm assuming that's.

[Jared]

I think so. I think.

[Miles]

I think Jared is definitely on the right. But it looks like Jared, but it doesn't look like Jared at all. I'm guessing Ryan is in the middle because of the way that guy is smiling.

[Ryan]

Have you guys ever seen that?

[Miles]

Like, and then Tyler in the back, though, doesn't. I mean, that just looks like if Tyler was, you know, like a guy who hangs around playgrounds.

[Jared]

Yeah, that guy doesn't look cool. He's also like 4ft tall.

[Ryan]

I mean, there's a Ferris wheel in the back. Tyler, he could be at the wrong, wrong, wrong.

[Jared]

He doesn't have zoomies on, so I think he's good.

[Miles]

You do kind of smile like that guy Ryan.

[Ryan]

You guys ever seen that? The guy who plays that character, the abusive blue collar husband on Tick Tock? I don't know. It's. This is. It's an insane character. Actually. It kind of looks like that guy. He's got like a Snapchat face filter on when he does it. But yeah, I don't think that looks like me at all, to be honest.

[Jared]

It looks like you more than the rest of those guys do.

[Ryan]

I mean, that looks identical to Jared. That's pre. That's Chinese food. Pre half marathon Jared.

[Tyler]

Yep. It's got my beard down, Miles.

[Ryan]

I mean, that looks.

[Miles]

That's pretty good.

[Ryan]

Pretty accurate.

[Tyler]

That might be you, Miles. And there's the other one. It's pretty similar.

[Miles]

They just can't figure out Tyler.

[Jared]

Not at all. There's two Jared. You kind of look like Adam Sandler.

[Miles]

Is that Jake in the background on the left?

[Tyler]

I think so.

[Jared]

Why is there a fifth person?

[Tyler]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

A photo bomber. We're probably on the way to Steve Aoki.

[Jared]

When we thought about this Jared, I thought for sure it was going to put us in like, neons and fish.

[Ryan]

I was. Yeah. I was hoping I'd get a. Yeah.

[Miles]

Also, it looks like me and you on this photo. Hit up the merch tent, Jared. We both got Coachella hats on.

[Tyler]

I'll buy one if you buy one.

[Miles]

If we showed up to Coachella in that, I feel like, we'd be the most normal looking people easily.

[Ryan]

Yeah. I feel like you guys are maybe like you meant to go to Stagecoach, but you're actually.

[Jared]

That's. I think that's spot on.

[Tyler]

Took a wrong turn.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Wrong turn. Coachella, Wrong coach.

[Jared]

The only thing that that guy looks like is we're just both white.

[Tyler]

Yeah. That's about it. Good traps, though.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. Tyler, you have a bigger widow's peak than that guy.

[Jared]

I do, but I would probably. There's no way I wasn't wearing a hat in the regular photo.

[Ryan]

Definitely. Yeah. You'd have been at the merch tent first out of any of us.

[Tyler]

Pretty funny.

[Miles]

I would love to know the sequencing of thoughts that got us to these photos.

[Jared]

Well, we just had some ideas on our list. Just we wanted to talk about AI at some point. And then we're like, what's happening right now? We're like, coachella's happening. And I don't know how the we got to this.

[Tyler]

I just wanted to see how we would look at Coachella.

[Miles]

That's nice. We should just, you know, to the point now where we don't even need to travel.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

We could just have AI put us places and just make us look wanderlous.

[Jared]

You guys could. The AI can't figure me out.

[Miles]

That's true.

[Jared]

I gotta go there.

[Tyler]

Pretty funny.

[Miles]

Did you just take a photo of us?

[Tyler]

Yep. I took just the podcast.

[Ryan]

Tyler is in the back left.

[Miles]

I mean, off of that photo. You do. It does look very similar.

[Ryan]

Huh.

[Miles]

Actually, now Tyler does look just like that guy from that photo. I didn't know if that's what you look like. It's a really bad photo of you.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I think that might be your worst photo. You on the Internet might be that one.

[Jared]

It made Ryan look better with that.

[Ryan]

Pose and the glow up on the.

[Tyler]

AI added glasses to you, Miles. I don't know why.

[Miles]

Yeah, I don't know. It's good look, though. I like it.

[Ryan]

The original picture looks stoned.

[Miles]

So you just put that in and just said, redo this. Like we're at. At Coachella.

[Tyler]

Yep. Like we're at Coachella 20. 25.

[Ryan]

Huh? We should post that. Be like, yeah, spur the. We. We. We caught a flight, not feelings. Coachella 25.

[Miles]

Jared, you got. What's going on with you?

[Tyler]

So I did a lot of house projects this past Sunday.

[Miles]

Weekend Warrior homeowner.

[Tyler]

I unmounted a tv, I mounted a tv. I painted a room and just moved a bunch of shit. And I also planted the tree from our wedding yeah. Yep.

[Ryan]

Grounds thawed.

[Tyler]

Grounds thawed.

[Jared]

I'm. I'm. I'm happy I made it this long. I was a little nervous if it not getting in the ground.

[Tyler]

Yep. So, yeah, it went fine.

[Ryan]

Good.

[Tyler]

And then when I was done, I was, like, really, really tired. I almost, like, I felt like throwing up, like, after I was done, and I realized that I am not in house shape at all.

[Ryan]

You're in renters shape.

[Tyler]

Renter shape. Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I worked so hard, I almost threw up. So I'm pretty out of shape. How was shape we got?

[Miles]

I was gonna say. What do you mean you almost threw up? From mounting and unmounting a tv.

[Tyler]

I mean, just a wear and tear from all day.

[Miles]

Oh, my God. How are you supposed to run a half marathon? I.

[Tyler]

That's out the window right now. I'm not running a half marathon.

[Jared]

Jared, you got signed up.

[Tyler]

You can sign up. No, that's. Maybe in the fall I can, but not the Fargo one at the end of May, So.

[Miles]

So from mounting, I'm mounting a tv, painting, and planting a tree.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

You were that shot, and I was moving.

[Tyler]

I'm not in house.

[Ryan]

You ever think it could have been the paint fumes?

[Jared]

Ah, that's. What a good point.

[Tyler]

So it's not oil based, so. Yeah, I thought about that.

[Jared]

I totally knew that.

[Miles]

I would have just. I would have just said yes. Not a good look for you.

[Tyler]

Integrity.

[Miles]

So did you have Chinese food that morning?

[Tyler]

No, I had pulled pork. Not that morning.

[Jared]

Was it cooked?

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was cooked okay in the croc. So, yeah, I. I need to do better at. I think it was just more so, like, muscle confusion, too.

[Miles]

P90X.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Tyler]

That I wasn't using the right muscles or the form.

[Ryan]

I think when I was like, 13 or 14, I did the first day of P90X and I almost threw up.

[Jared]

I've. I've done the entire program not to break. My dad was super, super into P90X, so I've done it with him when I was in High School.

[Tyler]

Puke. 90x.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Miles]

Okay. I like that spin zone. You basically did the house project version of P90X.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And like, they say, like, when you do, like, shoveling snow, you could burn more calories shoveling snow than running two miles. So.

[Ryan]

Heart attacks?

[Tyler]

No, heart attacks.

[Ryan]

You work so hard, dim near have a heart attack.

[Jared]

That's true. Just being a homeowner is its own form of exercise.

[Miles]

And I actually. This actually brings up a great point. Jared. You. You are 100 correct in saying you are not in homeowner shape.

[Tyler]

Absolutely not.

[Miles]

Because it's the same thing every single year. In the summer when I go back to work in concrete, there's about a week of getting back in concrete shape. But every single year that you come back to it, it gets a little bit easier to get back into that shape because you know how to move and you know how to operate your day with the least amount of effort. Right. When you first learn something new, it takes a lot of mental work to do the tasks that you're doing. And eventually, you just get used to it so you don't have to spend extra energy working on it. When you mount another tv, it's going to be a little bit easier.

[Jared]

Yep, you're a breeze.

[Tyler]

When I plant another tree, it'll get a little bit easier.

[Miles]

A little bit easier.

[Tyler]

When I paid another room, gonna get.

[Miles]

A little bit easier.

[Ryan]

Are there any. Any details that you're leaving out about this day? Like, did you have 15 beers throughout the day when you were doing all this?

[Tyler]

I was having a few beers, but it wasn't, like, anything crazy.

[Ryan]

Okay, so it wasn't the. It wasn't influenced by.

[Miles]

It was the old ball and chain over your shoulder all day, too, because that could be mentally draining. That could make me puke once in a while.

[Tyler]

No, we kept our distance.

[Miles]

Okay. You did that, right?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So what was she doing while you were doing your work? What chores was she doing?

[Tyler]

Like.

[Miles]

Like organizing the spice drawer and.

[Tyler]

Exactly.

[Miles]

Oh, that's real tough.

[Tyler]

Getting paint ready. Painting.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Like stirring the paint bucket, Opening the paint can.

[Miles]

Opening it.

[Tyler]

Wow.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. So it's just like a lot of basic. Like that.

[Jared]

So what's next for you? Are you done?

[Tyler]

No, not done. The foundation needs grading.

[Miles]

What? What do you mean?

[Tyler]

Well, like, the. The grade is not. It, like, dips into the foundation. So I have to raise the grade.

[Miles]

On the outside of the house? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

You get a couple.

[Miles]

I thought you meant your. How your foundation was out of level of some sort. I'm like, I don't know if you're gonna be able to get that done.

[Tyler]

But a couple carjacks, you just need.

[Miles]

More dirt around the edge.

[Tyler]

Exactly.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Nothing huge.

[Miles]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Tyler]

I need to buy a lawnmower.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, you do.

[Jared]

I'm getting a rider. I'll sell you my push mower.

[Tyler]

That's not a bad idea, actually.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[E]

Make sure it works first.

[Jared]

It works. Been in a bunch of videos, actually.

[Miles]

I. If you're doing the grade work at your house, you should just swing on by mine. We can do the party bus on the weekend. Cuz there's one corner of my house that over time, it's just sunk. I need to refill it in. But it kind of sucks because there's landscaping there and rocks and.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah. Tear all that out.

[Miles]

And my AC unit's sitting out there and it's kind of starting to slant a little bit. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

My neighbor did a concrete slab where their AC is, AC unit's at. And that was a mistake that I didn't do that. Yeah, it wouldn't have been that hard to just throw a slab out there. Yeah.

[Ryan]

I mean, you're a concrete guy.

[Jared]

Do that yourself. You know what you're doing.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Well, if I'm not feeling like throwing up, I'll come over and fix that for you.

[Ryan]

Well, I, I, Yeah. And I still have to grade my, the entire. Around my entire house, so we got great issues.

[Miles]

I didn't know it's. That's three out of four.

[Jared]

Yeah. That's what the inspector, when you inspect my house, he's like, I would put some dirt in this corner. I'll put some dirt over here.

[Miles]

We all got grading issues I guess we need rectified immediately.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Party bus. We'll get the dirt lined up. We just see, hey, boom, here, here, here.

[Jared]

You guys want to go in on a dump truck of dirt together or what?

[Miles]

That actually is not a bad idea.

[Ryan]

I need like, I need like probably two or three trucks of dirt.

[Miles]

Then I think that we just do it separately.

[Jared]

Yeah. Yep.

[Ryan]

Volume discount, though.

[Jared]

I need like, that's true. I need like two wheelbarrows full of dirt.

[Tyler]

That's about what I need.

[Ryan]

Volume discount. I got two or three. Yeah. Trucks.

[Jared]

This is like when you go to dinner with a big group and somebody's ordering appetizers and a ribeye and you get a sandwich and then they want.

[Ryan]

To split the check.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Never. Does it happen that someone orders a bunch of appetizers and, and an expensive meal and asked for everyone to split the check evenly.

[Jared]

No, but it happens.

[Miles]

Never happens.

[Jared]

No, it's happened in movies.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Jared]

I'm not saying it happens. I'm saying this is what it's like.

[Ryan]

I would never have it for schmucks or what?

[Jared]

There is an entire Seinfeld episode on this exact thing.

[Ryan]

Think that's a crazy move to split the, the entire thing equal ways?

[Jared]

Yeah, People would just literally, like, they just split it six ways and one person had a ton and the one.

[Ryan]

Didn'T and one guy was. How was like 15 old fashioned.

[Miles]

That would be crazy.

[Ryan]

Split this baby down the middle.

[Tyler]

Uneven, huh?

[Miles]

I watched the Seinfeld episode last night.

[Tyler]

Which one?

[Miles]

I was out of commission.

[Jared]

Jake finally got to you.

[Miles]

It was Jerry's new girlfriend. Ellen, I think was her name. She is perfect. But he's all paranoid that he doesn't like that she's perfect and all this stuff. So he kind of wants to break up with her because of it. And George. Does George have a kid?

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

There's some guy that looks like George that he's trying to pitch to these. His company to get this kid an internship. And that kid, I don't know, it's tough with that. And then Kramer sells his stories to the.

[Tyler]

Oh, publishing company.

[Miles]

The publishing company. For like 750 bucks.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then he's at a bar, he. And he's about to tell one of the stories. And Elaine. Correct. She is basically tell him like you can't tell a story. You sold this to the company. So he loses all of his friends. Friends. Because he can't tell his stories anymore. Stories back. It's pretty funny actually. Yeah, I clearly, I just, I haven't watched much Seinfeld.

[Tyler]

Great show.

[Ryan]

But anything that you enjoyed being out of commission? Like did you get caught up on any shows or Seinfeld?

[Miles]

No, I. Literally the only reason why I watched that Seinfeld episode is for like 45 minutes to an hour. Yesterday I came out of the bedroom, made it downstairs onto the couch downstairs. And that was just what was on the tv.

[Ryan]

Sure.

[Miles]

And I just didn't even desire to look for a remote to change to anything else. I just watched the episode. I was laid there for a little bit, then went back up into bed. Yeah, I don't watch anything other than the Seinfeld episode.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was great.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You make it downstairs, there's no way you can grab the remote?

[Miles]

No, God no. Not even. Didn't even scroll on my phone. Right. It's just.

[Tyler]

Just dead unplugged.

[Miles]

I probably took four naps yesterday. Just in and out, in and out.

[Ryan]

Why me? You know.

[Miles]

Well, Jared, are we ending the episode with the highest we've ever been?

[Tyler]

Yep. So yeah, it's 4:20, I think this Sunday.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Tyler]

So I was just curious, what's the highest you guys ever been?

[Miles]

The highest I have ever been was. Is probably in Denver. Yeah. There's a mile high city. Yeah. I mean Denver. I don't look at elevations a lot, but I would say Denver is one of the higher Places I've been to, it's almost like. Or big sky by big sky. Montana is the highest I've ever been. Big high, big sky, Big high. Yeah. I haven't been to, like, Pike's peak or anything like that. I know my brother went as a kid one time.

[Ryan]

You never.

[Miles]

I don't know why I remember this, but my brother went with his mom or whatever to pike's peak. He came back and just told me about how his lips turned blue because of the elevation. I gotta text him, see if he remembers that. This is a vivid memory of him telling me that his lips turned blue because the elevation change. So that was probably the highest my brother's ever been.

[Ryan]

He's sucking on a blueberry dum dum.

[Tyler]

Or something from the bank.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You gotta remember, like, I clearly haven't been that high Because I'm a. I'm a flat ground guy.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You're not a heights guy.

[Miles]

Not a heights guy.

[Ryan]

You ain't gonna be caught on that ferris without coachella. Let's see. Highest I've ever been. Like, I would go out of 10. Out of 10. Probably 12, 000ft out of 10.

[Tyler]

That's really confusing.

[Miles]

But, yeah, lovely.

[Jared]

I have no idea.

[Ryan]

I've been. I've been a 12, 000 out of 10 high, which is, like, really high.

[Miles]

If.

[Ryan]

If you're wondering, Love Loveland pass in Colorado. Loveland. I was in the car, though, on feet. Probably Mount Si. Washington, another legal state. That one was only about 4,500ft. No, we walked. But we walked. So it's 12,000ft on wheels, 4,000ft on foot.

[Jared]

I've also done the loveland pass in a car.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Jared]

But on foot. I hiked to the top of Burton. Mount Burton in Idaho. And it was. It's like four, 800ft. So that's the highest I've been on foot. That was. And also when I got to the top of that mountain, I found a bigfoot track. And nobody I was with cared at all.

[Tyler]

You should have followed him.

[Jared]

It was. I was so upset. We're on the top of this mountain. And I went off the. The regular path, and I was just around and I found a bigfoot track. And I called my sister, her husband, and my wife over to look at it, and they were all just like, oh. I was like, are you guys crazy?

[Ryan]

Maybe they're scared.

[Jared]

Like, I don't know if you. It doesn't matter if you believe it or not. It was just a weird thing to find out that I Took a picture.

[Ryan]

It was large. I looked at it earlier.

[Jared]

I'll show you. It was. I. I was so upset that they didn't care.

[Ryan]

It probably looks way bigger in the picture.

[Jared]

No. I put my hand next to it.

[Miles]

Banana. For. For reference.

[Ryan]

For reference.

[Tyler]

Pringle can.

[Miles]

What? What did he do? So I was looking up the elevation.

[Jared]

I found a bigfoot track on a mountain. And no one gave a.

[Miles]

Your hand looks funny in that photo. Like this is what the. How his hand looks is. Imagine how Jared felt At the end of his day working in the house. Your hand looks like it's gonna puke.

[Ryan]

Were you trying to make your hands smaller to make the track look bigger?

[Jared]

I was just trying to take a picture.

[Miles]

I think it was going like this.

[Ryan]

No, I. It does look like a bigfoot track. Whether you believe it or not.

[Miles]

It does. It really does. It's very strange. What other animal would it have been?

[Jared]

The.

[Tyler]

It's like a big bear pod on it.

[Miles]

If it was.

[Jared]

Yeah. What it could be is like a bear's forepaw stepped and then his back paw on the follow up Stepped in his already previously made track. That's a lot of people thinking they found a bigfoot track. Ends up being that. But we were way the up there, like really high. And I'm. I'm convinced I found a bigfoot track.

[Tyler]

I ever been. Was on top of the Empire state building when I was 14.

[Miles]

Oh, how high is that? Because I've been on top of the empire state building as well.

[Tyler]

When you were 14.

[Miles]

I was around. I was young like that. I was probably like 12, 13, 14.

[Tyler]

Empire State to tip. Not the tip, but 12.

[Miles]

No elevation from sea level.

[Tyler]

Elevation. Oh, 100 seconds. Second floors from sea level.

[Jared]

1400Ft.

[Tyler]

Yeah. That's probably the highest I've ever been. Yeah.

[Miles]

It's not very high because big sky is like 8,000ft where I was at. Montana.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I haven't really been on top of them all.

[Miles]

Mountain.

[Jared]

We'll get you up there. Jared.

[Miles]

I saw that. The empire state building. How much Google how much the empire state building makes in the viewing deck a year.

[Ryan]

Viewing deck making a year.

[Tyler]

Make it a year. Millions of business.

[Jared]

131 million for ticket sales.

[Ryan]

Holy.

[Miles]

A hundred and thirty one million dollars just to ride an elevator and look at stuff.

[Tyler]

And when. When I went up it. It was super cloudy and foggy. So we got to see nothing.

[Miles]

It's terrible.

[Tyler]

It was terrible. My dad was so pissed because it's pricey.

[Miles]

$131 million just to I saw something that was like, now, because of that, every single big skyscraper has a viewing deck. Like, they don't build them without it now. Makes sense because of how much money they can bring in.

[Tyler]

All the idiots.

[Miles]

But it's like. But it's also like, you don't. People don't go up there for the viewing deck. They go there because it's the Empire State Building. You know? I mean.

[Tyler]

Right?

[Miles]

It.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Getting that impulse. Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

$131 million just off of viewing.

[Ryan]

That is.

[Miles]

They don't. They don't. It's.

[Jared]

How much are the tickets?

[Miles]

How much did the Empire State Building cost to. To make.

[Tyler]

Empire?

[Miles]

Yeah, right there.

[Tyler]

There we go. 40 miles.

[Miles]

$41 million. They pay that off in from January to March in one year.

[Jared]

How much. What does it cost per person.

[Miles]

Battling so many words?

[Tyler]

80 bucks.

[Miles]

Wow.

[Jared]

Jesus.

[Miles]

That's crazy.

[Tyler]

They have a sunset also.

[Miles]

It was $41 million in 1930. That is a lot of money for back then.

[Tyler]

It's a lot of boats.

[Jared]

That's like 1.6 million tickets sold. It's a lot of people up there.

[Miles]

That's a lot of money.

[Jared]

Speaking of crazy, overpriced tickets, the circus came to town on Friday, and I brought my kids to the circus, and it was 25 bucks a person to ride an elephant for a minute.

[Miles]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say to get into the circus.

[Jared]

No, I don't. We got those for free, but.

[Tyler]

Oh, that's where they get you.

[Jared]

We went down a hundred bucks for my wife and I and two kids to ride an elephant for one singular minute.

[Miles]

I mean, it is sliding.

[Jared]

I just did because I promised him. I was thinking it was gonna be like 5 bucks. Like, maybe 10, 15 for the adults, 5 bucks for the kids.

[Miles]

Supply and demand.

[Jared]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

Like, oh, you want to ride an elephant? Like, then get an elephant. Like, I don't have one.

[Ryan]

Yeah. What do you pay? 25 bucks. Go to Africa.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

To ride one. It's gonna cost a lot more than 25 bucks.

[Jared]

Yeah. It's the only time I get to ride one for a minute.

[Ryan]

You should.

[Miles]

You wait. It's one minute you get to ride it.

[Jared]

No, I don't even know if it was that. It was two laps around that dinky ass ring.

[Tyler]

Ass ring.

[Miles]

Did your kids love it or.

[Jared]

They were pretty indifferent, because you can't really tell you're on the elephant when you're on the elephant when you're on it, you know?

[Miles]

So it's almost like you and your wife should have Just rode the elephant and had them stand next to it and watch you guys ride. It would have been probably cooler.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Kind of romantic too.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

You should have tried to trade him a sword for free.

[Jared]

I didn't. I didn't start making swords until Sunday, so I was pretty inexperienced though.

[Tyler]

Free sword.

[Jared]

I'm pretty good now though.

[Miles]

Empire State Building was completed on my dad's birthday in 1931.

[Ryan]

Wow.

[Miles]

To let him know that.

[Jared]

I don't know if that. I don't think that's a coincidence.

[Miles]

I want. I want you to know how that conversation will go with my dad. Hey, dad, you know what? The empire still building was completed on your birthday in 1931.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Four days ago. I mean we had like, what, the 94th anniversary? 94th year the empire saved four days ago.

[Jared]

Six years ticket prices are going to.

[Miles]

Be through the roof.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah. Yeah. They're falling egg prices.

[Tyler]

Oh.

[Miles]

You know, they're gearing up for the hundredth year to break 200 mil on prices easily.

[Jared]

I'm gonna build two buildings right next to it that are zeros.

[Ryan]

You can't put a price on that Instagram picture though.

[Jared]

Nope.

[Ryan]

Huh.

[Miles]

You got any fun? I mean, that was my fun fact for the day.

[Tyler]

I'm glad you brought one.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That's cool.

[Miles]

That's good. I even had follow up things ready to go.

[Tyler]

If all the gold ever mined were gathered into one giant cube, it would measure about 23 meters or 75ft on each side. That's about the size of a small three story building. And it's roughly 235,000 metric tons of gold.

[Miles]

That's not very much.

[Ryan]

No. Especially isn't there. What? Where do they. Fort Knox.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm not sure if it's there anymore, but. Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. I thought that they were gonna go look.

[Tyler]

I mean, we've been off the gold standard for a while. I'm not sure.

[Miles]

No, I know, but there's a lot of people who say that. Like. Yeah, well, the government says that their 4 Knox is still filled with gold.

[Tyler]

Gold.

[Miles]

But there's a lot of people who think that there's just nothing there anymore.

[Tyler]

Well, why would we tell people where the gold is?

[Jared]

That's a really good point.

[Miles]

Well, it's Fort Knox. You're not getting into it. There's a reason why it's called Fort Knox.

[Jared]

I used to be a bouncer there.

[Tyler]

Oh yeah.

[Ryan]

No one's getting past Tyler.

[Miles]

Yeah. I saw some tick tock that basically showed a visual of this and it was not as much As I thought. It's the most gold ever mined. That's all of it combined. It's like what about everyone's necklaces? And that's got gold. But I suppose a lot of it's gold plated or whatever, right? Not of it. A lot of it's not solid gold because that's tiny.

[Jared]

I think a lot of it too. Don't they just like mix gold in with another metal so it gets the color? Like, isn't that the carrot of it all?

[Miles]

I don't know like how the care of that works.

[Jared]

Care is like how here. How much actual gold is in the metal?

[Ryan]

Yeah. I'm not sure. 24 carat?

[Miles]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Jared]

I could be completely wrong, but that's what my impression was.

[Miles]

The only thing gold I ever bought is this ring here. And it wasn't that much, so.

[Tyler]

Well, your pocket watcher.

[Miles]

No, I don't know if it's real gold or not. It better be for what I paid for.

[Jared]

Just bite it. You'll be able to tell if you bite it.

[Miles]

What? Yeah. What happens? Yeah.

[Tyler]

I don't know.

[Jared]

But you just know.

[Miles]

Does it dent?

[Jared]

I think so. Is because isn't gold soft?

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's precious.

[Tyler]

It is precious.

[Miles]

The three story building.

[Tyler]

Small three story building.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

Like there's a lot of rappers that have gold teeth.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Imagine if they just like you know, plucked all those teeth out. That's got to be a lot of teeth.

[Jared]

Enough for a small three story building.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Huh?

[Miles]

Is that it, Jared?

[Tyler]

That's all I got.

[Miles]

Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of you Bet your radio podcast. Thanks for listening today on this flu game performance from me. Next week I'll be rocking and rolling. Next week I'll be absolutely on fire.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I feel like I had a chef curry type of game today.

[Tyler]

You did well, Brian.

[Miles]

You stepped up.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Scotty Just goes to show that even bench players can step up and have a great game.

[Ryan]

Yeah. James Harden 6 Man of the year, Oklahoma City Thunder.

[Tyler]

Bobby Jackson.

[Ryan]

There we go.

[Miles]

Well, guys, may your gold be plated in your Empire State building. Be a rocking.

[Tyler]

Cheers, Ryan.

[Ryan]

Cheers.

[F]

Mouse is sweating through the night Flu came but he's putting up a fight better Marriage blanket keeps it warm Carbon barrier keeping out the storm Zoomies head and we're running wild Coachella dreams like a dead desert child Natural light shining through the pace Lots of blur in these crazy days Tyler's tossing dough and forging blaze pizza's hot and swords are finally made Jared's Laughing, but he's out of shape Velociraptor and we're hitting escape Zoomies Hey. And we're running wild Coachella dreams like a desert child Natural light shining through the haze Life's a blur in these crazy days Elephants beneath us stepping slow Jared's not ready but he's got the glow Ryan's burning recipes on the page we're all just actors on this fleeting stage Zoomies hitting and we're running wild Coachella dreams like a desert child Natural light shining through the Ha. Lot's a blur in these crazy days.

[Tyler]

We'Re gonna do a. A fun fact off between me and Jake, and you're gonna decide who has the better fun facts.

[Miles]

So you each got one in the chamber.

[H]

We got three in the chamber.

[Miles]

Okay.

[H]

By the way, I would just. Before this even starts, I would like to let you know that mine are completely.

[Miles]

You can't prime the pump.

[H]

I'm prime.

[Miles]

No, I'm. You can't. I didn't. You can't do that. This is. I'm gonna be objective.

[Tyler]

All right, I'll go first.

[H]

Okay.

[Tyler]

The Average person blinks 14 to 17 times per minute.

[Miles]

It's a good fact. I would have liked to know how many times per day.

[Tyler]

I didn't foresee that.

[Miles]

You should have foreseen that. I like that fact. 14 to 17. So I saw something online that if someone is blinking a lot, they're lying or trying to deceit or. Yeah. They're nervous and, like, are hiding something and all of that. That. What if they don't blink? They're trying to manipulate you. So if you watch the, like, serial killers getting interrogated by the police, they oftentimes don't blink for a long time because they're trying to manipulate the situation, because that's what they're good at.

[Tyler]

Interesting.

[Miles]

So I always try and make sure that I'm blinking 14 to 17 times per minute, even if I am trying to manipulate Jake.

[H]

You're mentally counting 17 times per minute too.

[Miles]

Then I'm like, oh, I'm supposed to be manipulating him. This whole thing.

[Tyler]

Manually blinking.

[H]

Are now manually blinking.

[Tyler]

So that would be 21,600 times a day.

[Miles]

Really? Holy smokes. That's a great fact. 21,000 times. That's crazy. Yeah. No wonder we have to sleep at night. So give those lids. Give those lids a rest. Yeah.

[H]

How many calories a day am I burning from blinking?

[Tyler]

I didn't foresee that.

[Miles]

That one.

[H]

That's.

[Miles]

You should have seen coming.

[Tyler]

Damn it.

[Miles]

I'm gonna do that, though. I'm like, I'm tired. I blinked 21, 000 times today. So is that in 24 hours, or is that like 12?

[Tyler]

24 hours.

[Miles]

Okay, well, I. I'm asleep for eight hours.

[Tyler]

That's a great point.

[Miles]

So that was misinformation. Well, so out of 16 hours, how many.

[Tyler]

So divide this by 16 then. Yeah, no, that's not right.

[Miles]

That's how many per hour?

[H]

Divide it by 24 and multiply the number by 16.

[Miles]

So 17 times 60.

[Tyler]

17 times 60. Got it.

[Miles]

Times 16.

[Tyler]

Time. Oh, my God. Okay, 17 times 60. Times 16.

[Miles]

16.

[Tyler]

Okay, 16,000.

[Miles]

Okay, well, 16.

[H]

Three.

[Miles]

Well, I'm gonna hit the hay. I blinked 16,320 times today, so I'm pretty shot.

[Tyler]

Well, if you worked a full workday of 24 straight hours, it would be 21,000.

[Miles]

That's true.

[H]

And also, Jared, it's 16, 321. Because sleeping is just one really long blink.

[Miles]

Well, the 20th is the last.

[H]

Once you hit 19, number 20 is your longest blink of the day.

[Tyler]

That's not a blink, though. It's just. That's nothing.

[Miles]

I don't know.

[H]

I think sleeping counts as one long blink.

[Miles]

What's your fact, we just don't have time to dive into that?

[H]

Or should Jared just go all three in a row and then.

[Miles]

No, we'll ping pack, ping pong. We don't have time to dive into that.

[H]

My fun fact is, is from the highest point on Earth, the highest mountain, all the way to the lowest point in the Ocean is only 11 miles.

[Miles]

I already knew it, Jake. Huge misstep for you. Huge misstep. Did you know. Did you know that from sea level down to the lowest portion of the ocean, it's actually a longer distance than it is than Mount Everest is? And that was what you're. Was that your follow up?

[H]

No, I.

[Miles]

I mean, talk about basic cable facts over here.

[H]

Oh, my God.

[Tyler]

Did you know the Statue Liberty was a gift from France?

[H]

Really?

[Miles]

Do you know there's two Resolute desks? Is that your next one?

[Ryan]

What?

[H]

Did you just watch National Treasure?

[Tyler]

We did, actually. Buzz Lightyear's original name was Lunar Larry.

[Miles]

Really? Lunar Larry? Yeah. Buzz Lightyear is much better.

[Tyler]

So much better.

[Miles]

So much better. I wonder at what point in the process they said, let's get rid of Lunar Larry. No? Nothing. Okay.

[Tyler]

I just. That was a fun fact.

[Miles]

So there's a fun fact, Jake.

[H]

Minnesota native Dave Winfield is the only athlete in history to be drafted into four different professional sports leagues.

[Miles]

MLB Yep. NFL.

[H]

Yep. NBA, mls, and the aba before they merged the. Before the NBA and the ABA merged into the current NBA, he was drafted into all four leagues and he went and played baseball.

[Miles]

And should he have played baseball or should he done the other ones?

[H]

No, he should have played. He was a Hall of Famer. Baseball. He's one of the greats. Yeah. Played baseball for the Gophers, played baseball for the Yankees.

[Miles]

I mean, that record's going to hold up forever because the ABA no longer exists.

[H]

Well, you could be now drafted into the mls or you could be drafted into another overseas league.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Or hockey.

[H]

Yep, or hockey.

[Miles]

But also, what year was this?

[H]

1970. Something.

[Miles]

Yeah, they didn't. They didn't know how to be athletes back then, so I guess you just get one that's really good. I mean, kind of. I mean, like, in half of those leagues, half of the people playing were like mechanics from down the road. Well, I don't know.

[H]

I mean, like, Russell Wilson was drafted in the NFL. Jameis Winston. Two of them.

[Tyler]

Two bagger.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[H]

Two bagger.

[Miles]

I mean, that would be Joe Mauer.

[H]

Two baggers.

[Miles]

You do NFL, NBA, and the mls.

[Tyler]

I mean, that athlete doesn't exist.

[Miles]

Doesn't exist.

[Tyler]

That body type would be insane.

[H]

Just does not exist.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[H]

To let alone even play two of them. Like Dion or Bo did, too, Anyways.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[H]

Crazy.

[Tyler]

Neil Armstrong's hair was sold in 2004 for $3,000.

[Miles]

What do you mean his hair was sold?

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

You know, is he alive?

[Tyler]

He's dead.

[Miles]

Yeah. So they just scalped him when he died and then just, like, sent it. Sold his bolt. Like, it. Like. Like a bald cap, but with his hair.

[Tyler]

Yeah, his hair. Sold. $3,000. 2004. Cut during a routine haircut in 1966 by barber Samuel O'Neill. After O'Neill's passing, his family auctions the hair, attracting collectors due to Armstrong's iconic status.

[H]

So, yeah, it wasn't even, like, hair.

[Miles]

Wasn'T even post moon hair.

[H]

It was pre moon hair.

[Miles]

Not even.

[H]

Even. Not even hair that was on the moon. It was just like he was just a guy at that point.

[Miles]

But would be funny, though, if they did it right after his honeymoon. Just technically it is moon hair, but it's just honeymoon hair. Like, in the advertising to try and sell it, they just put moon hair, post. But then honey is like really small letters. Neil Armstrong's honeymoon hair.

[H]

And that's not even from his actual honeymoon. It's just from the honeymoon phase in his relationship with his wife.

[Tyler]

Well, I see three grand, though. That's kind of a lot. I can't imagine his post moon hair.

[Miles]

How much that would go for. Imagine explaining that to your friends that come over and you got his hair on display. Like, oh, what's this? That's Neil Armstrong. Oh, shit. That hair's been to the moon. Well, it's been to the honeymoon.

[Tyler]

Pretty recognizable follicles here.

[H]

Is that. Take a wild guess.

[Miles]

Pretty recognizable strands of hair. Like, how would you even just. Well, here's the next question. How do you display it?

[Jared]

It.

[Miles]

Do you. Do you display it in like just a clump, you know? Like, do you just like, strategically clump it up so it displayed nicely? Do you. Do you line it up in a row just, you know, and like, put. So it sticks up and it's just a row of his hair?

[H]

Or like, or like, you know how, like, people will buy a full bust to put their NFL helmet on? That's what you do. You just buy a full bust, then insert a couple of the followers. Like a Chia Pad.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. Is that the way you do it? I don't know. Maybe you, like, you like, you could display it in like kind of a spiraling formation that comes out of it.

[Tyler]

That makes the NASA logo. That'd be sick.

[H]

Yeah, that is cool. I think you just lay them out.

[Miles]

Like, the reason why I got a haircut is you got like bubble gum in his hair. So it's like you just also have this chewed bubble gum in it as well.

[Tyler]

Or your brigger. It's like in a clump or whatever. You bring your buddy's loco over at it and the buddy sneezes right into it and just goes everywhere.

[H]

You put it on the shelf. You hit it with the duster on accident.

[Tyler]

My hair? No, Ar's hair. Jake, who was keep.

[Miles]

Who was keeping. Like, how did we get there? You know, why, why, why does this exist? You know?

[Tyler]

Creepy barber.

[Miles]

Yeah, but like, even at that point, he wasn't the man on the moon. So why was anyone keeping it was an astronaut. Yeah, but, but that guy.

[H]

But like, did the. Had they decided that he's gonna go to the moon in 1966? Were they. Were they like Neil Armstrong? You are the one.

[Tyler]

I think you would have been on the Gemini missions at that point, right?

[H]

Oh, yeah, probably.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[H]

So he was definitely an astronaut. He definitely was in space. He was 100 celebrity. So that does make sense.

[Miles]

Okay, that makes sense.

[H]

But like, there's this, there's this church in France, or maybe it's Italy. But they have like a finger.

[Miles]

Is this your fun fact?

[Tyler]

This is a.

[H]

No, this isn't this a tag on fun fact here. But they have a human finger that's like all decomposed.

[Tyler]

I don't know, we'll see.

[H]

And they claim that it's Mary Magdalene's finger. They've said that it's like her finger. It's like that's why you go to the churches to come look at the finger of Mary Magdalene. Well, they like ransom like DNA tests on it and she's like, it's a dude's finger. It's like it's got male chromosomes in it.

[Tyler]

Just paint a nail polish on it.

[H]

Yeah, they just like put pink. Yeah.

[Miles]

She must have got a pedicure right before she died. Or is that a manicure? Which one? Manicure?

[H]

Yeah, it's a finger.

[Tyler]

There's like little glitter nail polish on it. It's gold.