What's Ruining The Fabric of America 🎙 #311

Summary

Podcast Summary: "What's Ruining The Fabric of America 🎙 #311" | You Betcha Radio

Introduction

In episode #311 of You Betcha Radio, titled "What's Ruining The Fabric of America," host Miles, affectionately known as "Myles the You Betcha Guy," along with co-hosts Ryan, Tyler, and Jared, delve into a series of pressing societal issues with their trademark Midwest humor and camaraderie. Released on January 29, 2025, this episode balances serious discourse with light-hearted banter, offering listeners both insights and laughs.

---

Announcements and Updates

The episode kicks off with Miles and the gang sharing upcoming announcements, primarily centered around their Patreon page. They tease a significant reveal about Tyler's extensive job history, inviting listeners to visit patreon.com/youbetcharadio for exclusive content.

[00:25] Jared: "Next week."

[02:11] Ryan: "There could be more. We're forgetting."

They hint at more merchandise, particularly patch hats, indicating new designs and limited releases in future episodes.

---

Section 1: Price Inflation and the Decline of the Dollar Store

The primary discussion begins with Miles lamenting the erosion of trust in American retail, specifically targeting stores that once proudly boasted dollar-priced items.

[04:26] Miles: "Anything with the word dollar in it that costs more than a dollar I think is ruining the fabric of America."

Ryan shares his frustration about the disappearing true dollar deals:

[04:48] Ryan: "I went to the dollar store to buy my kids stocking stuffers. There's not a single thing in there that's a dollar."

The hosts humorously critique the misleading pricing strategies, noting that items often start at $1.30, eroding consumer trust.

[05:25] Ryan: "They were still the dollar menu. And it was easy".

Miles contrasts this with brands that maintain their price integrity, like Arizona Tea and the Costco hot dog, celebrating them as bastions of honesty in a sea of inflated prices.

[07:11] Miles: "The only people in this world today that are true people of their word is Arizona tea. And the Costco hot dog."

The conversation also touches on Arizona Tea’s clever pricing strategy to prevent gas stations from marking up their products, highlighting their commitment to affordability.

[07:25] Miles: "Someone was telling me that Arizona tea specifically puts 99 cents on the can so the gas stations can't mark them up."

---

Section 2: The Downside of Live-Action Remakes

Shifting gears, the hosts express their disdain for Disney’s trend of creating live-action adaptations of beloved animated classics.

[12:28] Jared: "Okay."

Ryan voices skepticism about the authenticity of these remakes:

[12:30] Tyler: "The Lion King... they branded it as live action. No one wanted that number one."

They critique how these adaptations often fail to capture the magic of the originals, fearing they tarnish the legacy of classic animations.

[15:26] Miles: "There's a lot of Disney adults out there would say that they're just not the same."

The group jokes about the absurdity of imagining traditionally animated characters in live-action settings, underscoring their point with references to iconic franchises.

[16:03] Jared: "So all eyes go to hell."

[16:10] Miles: "Scar is spoiler alert, I guess."

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Section 3: Modern Fundraising Tactics and Its Impact on Youth

Miles introduces another critical issue: the shift from traditional door-to-door fundraising methods to automated text message solicitations by youth sports teams.

[16:38] Tyler: "Kids in their sports teams sending out automatic text messages for fundraising donations."

The hosts argue that this trend undermines important social skills like face-to-face interaction and dealing with rejection, which are vital for personal growth.

[17:24] Ryan: "I'm going to just start texting back. Instead of hitting the button, just text back, delete, and report junk."

Miles emphasizes the loss of work ethic and resilience among the younger generation due to these impersonal fundraising methods.

[19:11] Jared: "Or Shaq?"

The conversation highlights broader implications, suggesting a future rife with telemarketing and diminished interpersonal skills.

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Section 4: Declining Line Etiquette and Spatial Awareness

The discussion transitions to everyday annoyances that contribute to the unraveling of American social fabric, focusing on poor line etiquette and a general lack of spatial awareness.

[24:17] Jared: "People don't know how to stand in line in America."

[25:18] Miles: "Self checkout was first, though, so I think that got the ball rolling."

They compare American behaviors unfavorably to those in Europe, citing cultural differences in maintaining orderly queues.

[25:19] Miles: "I was going to say, you've never been to Europe, have you?"

The hosts share personal anecdotes about navigating lines in modern establishments, underscoring the decline in patience and courtesy.

[34:10] Ryan: "I'm going to just start texting back."

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Side Section: Prize Picks Promotion

Midway through the episode, Miles shifts the conversation to promote Prize Picks, offering listeners a $50 bonus when they play their first $5 lineup using the code YBR.

[10:13] Ryan: "For this, quite literally just in the NFL season at least."

Ryan and Tyler share their Prize Picks strategies, blending sports enthusiasm with promotional content.

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Section 5: The Era of Convenience vs. Traditional Skills

The hosts continue critiquing modern conveniences that replace essential skills, such as self-checkout systems and automated services that discourage patience and manual effort.

[32:06] Jared: "The Rutibhech's still a good problem."

They illustrate how these conveniences contribute to a culture of impatience and reduced awareness in public spaces.

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Segment: "Good Things to Lie About"

In a lighter, more humorous segment, the hosts discuss scenarios where lying might be considered beneficial. They explore everyday lies within relationships and social interactions, sharing personal experiences and playful banter.

[65:42] Miles: "I'm Giggles, Ryan's Laughs, and Shenanigans."

Miles humorously rationalizes why telling someone "I'm on my way" is a harmless lie to show consideration without admitting tardiness.

[66:36] Ryan: "That was a good thing to learn about Ryan."

The segment includes playful discussions about lying to doctors, restaurant feedback, and maintaining social harmony.

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Merchandise Spotlight: Patch Hats

Tyler enthusiastically promotes the podcast's merchandise, particularly patch hats featuring unique designs like the "1979 Bush logo." The hosts discuss new releases and upcoming designs, encouraging listeners to visit their website.

[63:07] Ryan: "We got a bunch of cool."

[63:43] Tyler: "The patch hats are fire."

They tease upcoming exclusive merchandise, building anticipation among fans.

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Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reinforce their commitment to addressing significant societal issues while maintaining their signature humor. They encourage listeners to support the podcast through Patreon for access to exclusive content and future announcements.

[91:54] Miles: "If you want more, you bet your radio you gotta check out our Patreon."

The episode closes with a blend of humorous and thoughtful reflections, leaving listeners entertained and contemplative about the discussed topics.

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Notable Quotes

• Miles on Dollar Stores:

  [04:26] Miles: "Anything with the word dollar in it that costs more than a dollar I think is ruining the fabric of America."

• Ryan on Live-Action Remakes:

  [12:37] Ryan: "No one wanted that number one."

• Jared on Line Etiquette:

  [24:17] Jared: "People don't know how to stand in line in America."

• Tyler on Fundraising Texts:

  [16:38] Tyler: "Kids in their sports teams sending out automatic text messages for fundraising donations."

• Miles on Lying for Consideration:

  [66:36] Miles: "So you know that I'm awake and that I will be on the way."

• Ryan on Dishwasher Etiquette:

  [59:17] Ryan: "Your toothbrush has 200 more germs than a toilet does on average."

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Final Thoughts

Episode #311 of You Betcha Radio offers a comprehensive exploration of contemporary issues threatening American social norms, all while maintaining an engaging and humorous tone. From overpriced dollar stores to the loss of essential interpersonal skills, Miles and his co-hosts provide insightful commentary wrapped in Midwest charm. Their ability to blend serious topics with comedic relief makes for a compelling listen, inviting both reflection and laughter.

Listeners are encouraged to join their Patreon community for deeper dives into these topics and to stay updated on upcoming announcements and exclusive content.

Transcript

[Miles]

Welcome back to you Bet yout Radio podcast. Coldest podcast in all the Midwest. I'm Miles, you Bet you guy here with Ryan the T shirt guy. We are back. We are live. Fellas, how we feeling?

[Ryan]

We are feeling good.

[Miles]

I want to.

[Tyler]

Feeling good.

[Miles]

I want to remind everyone that we have. This is a. The secondary announcement that we will be having an announcement. Ah, on what day, Jared? Next week.

[Jared]

Next week.

[Miles]

Next week we have an announcement. So this is the second announcement of an announcement coming next week?

[Ryan]

Yeah. Last week the announcement was in the hole. This week the announcement is on.

[Miles]

On deck. Yes.

[Tyler]

And the announcements on here on Patreon.

[Miles]

It's on here.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Jared]

It's on here.

[Tyler]

Okay. It's on site.

[Miles]

I'm mostly doing this secondary announcement to put less time in between the first announcement for my own self to remember to announce it next week.

[Ryan]

Filibustering a little bit.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's just a. It's kind of like. Just like my wife. Just a easy reminder, you know, friendly reminder. But if it's anything like, you know, my wife reminding me of stuff, I still won't remember on the day.

[Ryan]

So I'll leave a sticky note on your chair next week.

[Miles]

Thanks, Tyler.

[Ryan]

You're welcome.

[Miles]

So we got that coming up. Tyler, you said you had something you wanted to share with us. Hot off the press.

[Ryan]

One of the patrons remembered a job for me that I forgot.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

I used to vaccinate turkey Saturday mornings in high school.

[Miles]

Was this on the Patreon that we talked about this?

[Jared]

All of Tyler's jobs it talks about on Patreon.

[Ryan]

Okay, so guys, so there's one for free.

[Miles]

It was turkey. What?

[Ryan]

I vaccinated turkeys Saturday mornings.

[Miles]

Okay? So that is one of. We're not gonna tell you how many jobs Tyler had. See what I did there? If you want to find out how many jobs Tyler had. Has had in his life, and it's an astonishing amount for him only being 30 years old. Yeah, you got to go to patreon.com you bet you radio. Listen to last week's episode. We. We do the hot reveal of how many jobs Tyler had.

[Ryan]

Who knows? There could be more. We're forgetting.

[Tyler]

Did you. Did you have the bowling alley on last week's list? Okay.

[Miles]

Yeah, because I guess now we got two jobs.

[Ryan]

The list is at least two jobs long.

[Miles]

So now we're just. If we keep going any longer, we're just. They're not going to go. Listen.

[Jared]

And if you bet your job.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Damn it. There's three.

[Miles]

Three out of almost said It. I almost said it.

[Tyler]

So, yeah, moving on, moving on.

[Miles]

Before we give up too much info, nib that in the butt. Nib that in the bud. Like Ryan's college buddies.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that was good. That was good.

[Miles]

All right, so, guys, you know, I'd like to do a serious topic. H. I'd like to, you know, we're all giggles and laughs and Shenanigans. You know, we're all giggles, laughs, and Shenanigans on this podcast.

[Ryan]

Is that our new nicknames? Are you Giggles, Ryan's Laughs, and I'm Shenanigans?

[Miles]

Yeah, I'm Giggles.

[Tyler]

They should. I mean, they should. That's got to be on a wooden sign being sold somewhere. Giggles, laughs and Shenanigans.

[Ryan]

Some white mom has that in her kitchen. Yeah.

[Miles]

Or above the toilet. Yeah, yeah. It says. Are you scrolling on tick tock right now? Well, Giggles, laughs, and Shenanigans.

[Tyler]

Do you suffer from Gls? Well, I do too. Giggles, laughs, and Shenanigans.

[Miles]

Yeah, we're usually all giggles, lashes, shenanigans on this podcast.

[Jared]

So we should rename that podcast actually.

[Tyler]

Be a great Patreon named Shananna Gins.

[Miles]

But there's a lot going on in America right now.

[Tyler]

There is. There is tons.

[Miles]

And so I'd like for us to take a moment to just take a step back, talk about, you know, the issues that are truly hidden, hidden home here in the United States of America. And so, yeah, I mean, like, the first topic I'd like to talk about something that's ruining the fabric of America currently.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It'S tough for me to talk about. Honestly.

[Ryan]

It's your Giggles, remember? It's fine.

[Miles]

You're right. Anything. This is the. This is something that I think is ruining the fabric of America. Anything with the word dollar in it that costs more than a dollar I think is ruining the fabric of America. And we need to talk about it.

[Ryan]

You're spot on. I went to the dollar store to buy my kids stocking stuffers. There's not a single thing in there that's a dollar.

[Tyler]

Now it's the entire dollar store. No, that's like. Go on.

[Ryan]

Yeah, everything's at minimum a buck 30.

[Miles]

Yeah, $30.

[Tyler]

They don't have a dollar menu anymore.

[Miles]

Exactly.

[Tyler]

They have a. They had a value menu. So at least they're not lying to us at the McDonald's.

[Ryan]

They were. They were.

[Miles]

Did they change it to value menu?

[Tyler]

I think it's value menu now.

[Jared]

Pretty sure.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah. But for, like, a good four years there, it was still the dollar menu. And it was.

[Miles]

I. I mean, these places are giving me trust issues. They're giving America trust issues. You go to the dollar tree and everything costs A$30.

[Jared]

There's no trees in there.

[Miles]

Yeah, it shouldn't be the dollar tree. It should be the $30 is what it should be. And not the dollar tree. You know, I'm with you, Dollar General.

[Ryan]

I was flabbergasted. Come Christmas time, I'm going in there to buy stupid little squishy balls and all sorts of random stuff to throw in the stockings. I left $40 to buy random at the dollar store.

[Miles]

That's a whole nother topic of discussion that you're buying. Stocking suffers of stuff that people just are never going to use and hate.

[Ryan]

It's for a two year old and a five year old.

[Miles]

Okay, I thought you were buying it for like your sister.

[Ryan]

I'm not.

[Miles]

Because I. There's someone in my circle that buys cheap like that and you're like, I would have rather you just wrote me a handwritten note than give me this really inexpensive thing that I'm never ever going to use. Yeah, that's a whole nother topic of discussion.

[Tyler]

Yeah, you get like one of them slime hands for Christmas or something?

[Ryan]

Oh yeah.

[Tyler]

Sort of against the ceiling.

[Ryan]

Those are awesome. For 15 minutes till they get all dusty.

[Tyler]

Yeah, 30.

[Miles]

And I get it that, you know, everything costs more right now. But don't be slapping dollar on the front of it if it costs more than a dollar in my opinion.

[Tyler]

Don't put lipstick on a pig.

[Miles]

You know, it's kind of true in this scenario.

[Tyler]

It's like the marketing behind is like, you know, I can, I can get out of here with five things for five bucks plus tax. But no, it's ten bucks plus tax.

[Miles]

I think the only people in this world today that are true people of their word is Arizona tea. And the, and the Costco hot dog.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Who's the only one standing strong? And everyone else needs an asterisk next to their dollar menus or dollar trees.

[Ryan]

It's them versus inflation. Unstoppable force versus an immovable object. Yeah, one of them's got to give.

[Miles]

Someone was telling me that Arizona tea specifically puts 99 cents on the can so the gas stations can't mark them up.

[Jared]

Love that.

[Miles]

So that's a great idea.

[Tyler]

That's genius.

[Ryan]

They trolled Netflix the other day on Twitter. Netflix announced that they're upping their prices.

[Miles]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Ryan]

And Arizona T just commented. Arizona tea is still 99 cents.

[Tyler]

I love that dude.

[Miles]

Yeah, I couldn't. We gotta get Arizona Tea sponsored.

[Ryan]

Hell, yeah. We'll do it for 99 cents.

[Miles]

No, no, no, no.

[Ryan]

Per episode.

[Miles]

We still need to, you know, keep the lights.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we still need to keep the H Vac.

[Miles]

We need to make money here, Tyler. Yeah, otherwise we're just four dudes. Otherwise, if. If this doesn't make money, Tyler, we are just four dudes in their 30s and we're losers. You know, then my dad is right.

[Ryan]

That's true. We can't let him win.

[Miles]

We can't be doing brand deals for 99 cents.

[Ryan]

Maybe give him a little discount.

[Miles]

Yeah, we'll. We'll see. But we gotta throw that on the list. We gotta hit up Arizona T&I. We. When I used to work concrete, we. We would literally. There was a. It was one summer where when we'd get a. Go buy some drinks from the gas station, I'd get Arnold Palmer.

[Ryan]

Arizona T. Arnold Palmer's best one, hands down.

[Miles]

And then Dave started calling. He didn't know what we were calling them because he never understands anything you say, ever. And so when we said Arnold Palmer Palmers, he called them Arnold Palmers. So then they became Arnold Parmesan, Arnie Parm, and then just parms. You go into the gas station to get some parms.

[Tyler]

Get a couple parms.

[Miles]

Just because Dave doesn't know how to say Arnold Palmer. So.

[Ryan]

Armor Palmers.

[Tyler]

I used to up Arizona teas. Yeah. Like it. We would just scarf for a lunch. We had like a 23 minute lunch period, so we'd scarf our lunch down in five, 10 minutes and we'd run to the gas station and get some more. Every day I'd come back with an eight with an athlete.

[Miles]

Mm. What was your. What was your flavor choice? Mine was the Arnold Palmer. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's the. Yeah, that's the. Half lemonade, half tea.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that's what I get. It's in the gray can.

[Ryan]

The raspberry one's good too.

[Jared]

Yeah, I like the fruit punch one. That's good.

[Tyler]

God, it feels so good in your hand too.

[Miles]

Like, it's got some good weight to it.

[Tyler]

Great weight to it. I mean, it's probably 2, 3 pounds of 80 in there. So.

[Jared]

Kind of thirsty.

[Tyler]

Ah.

[Miles]

All right, guys, it is prize picks time of the week. We don't. We have only a couple weeks left.

[Ryan]

For this, quite literally just in the.

[Miles]

NF in the NFL season at least. And so, guys, right now, if you sign up with code YBR on prize picks, you get $50 instantly when you play your first $5 lineup. You don't need to win the lineup to receive the $50 bonus.

[Ryan]

It's just guaranteed for you money.

[Miles]

And we got two full weeks here of making lineups. We got a lot of buildup to this one game. And so Jared, what do you got? I. I think what we should do is we should do a, a, a lineup we, you know, feel good about this week and then next week. Let's get a little crazy, get stupid.

[Ryan]

It's. Get a little weird.

[Miles]

Get weird.

[Tyler]

It's getting nutty.

[Jared]

I got Hollywood Brown, more than 42 and a half receiving yards.

[Miles]

Tyler.

[Ryan]

I like it. I like Jalen hurts rushing or receiving. Touchdown Ryan.

[Tyler]

I got Xavier worthy, more than 6.5 rush yards.

[Miles]

And I have Saquon Barkley more than 26 and a half rush yards in the first five attempts.

[Ryan]

I love those. I like those.

[Tyler]

I might do a full lineup just of those.

[Ryan]

This is just done in everyone's first five attempts.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

You can kick back and relax after the first quarter, Miles.

[Miles]

That's true. Yeah.

[Ryan]

And also we got the Mahomes more than half a passing yard.

[Miles]

Free square square. This.

[Ryan]

Gotta hammer it.

[Miles]

I mean, I don't want to say it's impossible, but very hard for him not to get at least one pass.

[Ryan]

Yard in this game, I think. Yeah.

[Tyler]

I mean, even if he, if he trips on, if he trips during warm ups, rolls his ankles out that game, he's just, he's a dnp. So then it just. He'll play. Yeah, he'll play.

[Miles]

Anyway, so guys, you ride with us this week, then we're gonna have a little bit of a crazy one coming up.

[Tyler]

I think we've been saving. We' saving all of our W's for the Super Bowl.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's true.

[Tyler]

We are like what, 0 for 20?

[Jared]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

No, no, no. We're like.

[Miles]

So anyways, guys, go to prize fix and sign up with code YBR. Get that $50 bonus when you play your first $5 lineup.

[Ryan]

And I think another issue that is ruining the fabric of America is doing constant live action remakes of animated classics.

[Jared]

Okay.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

What the does that mean?

[Ryan]

The Lion King. They did the liveaction Lion King. We didn came out.

[Miles]

It's not even real live action.

[Ryan]

Yeah, it's motion capture.

[Miles]

Yeah, it's like.

[Ryan]

But they branded it as live action. No one wanted that number one. Number two, they put out the Lion King. No one liked it. And now they're doing another one quick.

[Tyler]

So, like the realistic looking Lion King. That's. That's called live action.

[Ryan]

Yeah. They also did it with Beauty and the Beast and the Little Mermaid.

[Tyler]

Gotcha.

[Ryan]

They're doing it with Hercules. They're doing it all. No one wants them.

[Miles]

I mean, it's just a tale as old as time is. You just. You keep improving things till you shouldn't keep improving.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Where does it live long enough as the hero to see yourself become the villain or something?

[Miles]

Yeah. Very pretty close. Yeah. Yeah.

[Ryan]

They did it.

[Miles]

Yeah. Because it's like, if it's gonna be cartoon, like, part of the allure of cartoons is that they're cartoons.

[Ryan]

You can do crazy.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

We didn't.

[Miles]

We didn't. So what, are we just gonna, like. What do you call it then, if it's not a cartoon?

[Jared]

Live actions.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

We didn't grow up.

[Miles]

I can't wait to wake up Saturday morning, have a bowl of cereal and. And just watch some live actions.

[Tyler]

Dude, you just took the words, right.

[Miles]

Go to the zoo if you want to see the Lion King. Live action. You know, you took the words right.

[Ryan]

Out of my mouth.

[Miles]

Like, imagine if spongebob was live action. That would ruin the whole show.

[Ryan]

It'd be terrifying.

[Tyler]

I mean, live action.

[Ryan]

Sponge.

[Tyler]

Live action. Pokemon might be kind of sick.

[Ryan]

They did it.

[Tyler]

Did they?

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Okay, I missed it.

[Ryan]

That one was actually.

[Tyler]

I didn't want it bad enough. I guess they did.

[Ryan]

Live action. Aladdin. Not good. The Genie. Will Smith is the genie was terrible. The genie was meant to be a cartoon.

[Miles]

This is. Yeah, agreed. That movie did kind of rock, though.

[Ryan]

I don't get it. Ah, Chris rocks. I was thinking Dwayne. I'm like, he wasn't in it.

[Miles]

There's that one guy, another actor, that everyone thought he was a genie in a movie, and he wasn't.

[Ryan]

Sinbad.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I could have swore he was the genie in Aladdin, and he just wasn't.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Oh, no. Was the genie. Was the Shaq movie.

[Jared]

Shazam.

[Ryan]

Shazam.

[Tyler]

God.

[Jared]

That's an old movie everyone thought Sinbad was interested in, but he wasn't.

[Miles]

Do you guys ever play Shaq Fu on the Sega? Shaq Fu. It's like Mortal Kombat. That just sounds awesome with Shaq.

[Jared]

Kind of sucks.

[Miles]

No, it wasn't very good.

[Tyler]

Okay. I was a big Ethel Blitz guy.

[Miles]

But, yeah, that is ruining. I mean, it's not only ruining the fabric of America, it's ruining the Saturday mornings of America as well.

[Ryan]

Totally.

[Miles]

I mean, what kind of world is my kid gonna grow up in? That he's not gonna get up and watch cartoons. He's gonna watch live actions.

[Ryan]

It's also, I think it's tarnishing the legacy of these. These programs too. The Lion King. Is the Lion King as good as it was originally because they did this new one. I don't think so. I think it takes a knock down.

[Miles]

There's a lot of Disney adults out there would say that they're just not the same.

[Ryan]

They're not.

[Jared]

You know, and the cousin.

[Miles]

I'm saying that so it doesn't tarnish it because it's completely different thing.

[Jared]

Yeah. And the cousin to that would be like Disney on ice or whatever.

[Miles]

See, I'm on board with that, though, because that's real live action.

[Tyler]

It's true.

[Miles]

On ice. Which is funny because a lion would never be in a scenario where he's on ice.

[Ryan]

No.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Close to get is probably like a Siberian tiger or something.

[Miles]

Literally. Hell would have to freeze over in order for a lion to be on ice.

[Jared]

So all eyes go to hell.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. That was the implication.

[Miles]

Scar is spoiler alert, I guess.

[Ryan]

Is he though? It sounds like in the new Mufasa movie. He's a good guy.

[Miles]

Yeah. Until he turns. It's like Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Spoiler alert.

[Tyler]

Holy.

[Ryan]

I've been waiting to watch that.

[Miles]

I'll get it one of these days. Ryan, what do you think is ruining the fabric of America?

[Tyler]

Ah, God, this is a tough one for me to talk about too, because I was a. When I was younger, I was. I mean, we were all probably boots on the ground type of guys, but in today's world, something that's rooting the fabric of America is kids in their sports teams sending out automatic text messages for fundraising donations. It's like I've gotten three or four automated text messages. Hi, this is. First name, last name. Please donate to our basketball team. Click the link below. It's like, no, unless you come to my doorstep, which. That's another topic of conversation. I love it when, if. If a kid leads when he comes to my doorstep and like, maybe the parents standing back on the sidewalk take my money.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm with you, dude. I'm not buying your raffle ticket unless you sell it to me.

[Miles]

It is funny, though. I have gotten a couple of texts from, like, people I know whose kids are in high school.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Wanting me to donate.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And you know, I got to text the parents, like, hey, take. Got to get my name off these. Off these text message lists. I don't want my Data being sold, My numbers already out.

[Miles]

Yeah. What is that? Teaching kids the youth of America.

[Ryan]

I'm going to just start texting back. Instead of hitting the button, just text back, delete, and report junk.

[Miles]

I would rather. Because the thing is, is it's like, you know, 20 bucks for sure. I'll give you. I'll donate 20 bucks to you. I don't need one of those coupon books because I just. Not a. I'm not going to use the coupon book. Not because I don't think they're useful. I think that I just never remember that I have. Yeah, but if you just come to my door and hold out your phone and I'll type in my information. That's what I want you to do. You know, I don't. I'll donate the money, but I want to see you work for it. Let's. Let's teach good work ethic here, parents. Instead of just fighting that, you know, the kid's not firing off those texts.

[Ryan]

No, no, no.

[Tyler]

They're just putting names into a database, sending it to their coach and their coaches.

[Ryan]

The only argument I have against this is it does show a little bit of ingenuity, a little work smarter, not harder situation, which could be rewarded in some circles. They are casting a much wider net by sending out texts.

[Miles]

But it was never about the money, Tyler.

[Ryan]

I think that's all it's about.

[Miles]

No raising funds.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It was never about fundraising. It was always about fundraising. And what's fun about firing off a mass text message and having extra time to sit on your ass and play Fortnite for sure.

[Jared]

Or Shaq?

[Miles]

Or is that fun? Is that fundraising? Or is it fundraising? Going around in the blistering cold, walking up to doors, talking to people that you've never met before and asking them for money. What's more fun?

[Ryan]

Question for the tell me questions for the parents. Is it fun raising a beta kid who's afraid to go to your front door?

[Miles]

That is true. You're raising scaredy cats. You can't go knock on a couple doors.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

The thing is, is, like, they're not even going to know when opportunity knocks at the door to what even to do when they get older, they have.

[Tyler]

Jump rope for heart anymore.

[Ryan]

I don't know.

[Tyler]

Because, God, because all the cash you'd get are the checks. They're like, in the jump rope for heart envelop. Or like the brochure, there was an envelope in the back that you stuffed all your cash in and when you'd come back home With a lot of cash in that thing. Such a great feeling. It's just. It's about the principle of like just being able to go ask for stuff and then also being okay with getting told no.

[Miles]

That is true.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Now if no one responds or doesn't donate that you didn't even. Maybe it didn't even make it to them. You don't get that face to face rejection that you need to learn.

[Tyler]

Yeah. 100.

[Ryan]

It is actually like a really good lesson to learn. And like getting told no. Like selling raffle tickets and she's like, all right, on to the next one. Lick your wounds and move on.

[Miles]

It's true. We don't got that.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's gonna be interesting to see the repercussions later on in life. You know.

[Ryan]

Be a hell of a lot more telemarketers out there.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Probably a lot less solar panels being sold too. That's a door to door gig.

[Ryan]

Door to door.

[Tyler]

So I mean I.

[Miles]

That's not a bit we've done.

[Tyler]

No. But I just feel like I. I.

[Miles]

Guess I didn't realize that was common knowledge to just know. Tyler said it. Like it's common. Agreed with you. Like it was common knowledge.

[Ryan]

That's how they sell soul.

[Miles]

I understand. I just didn't know it was that common knowledge. I guess I'm out of the loop.

[Tyler]

Obviously. I see the tik toks and I. I got. I. I know a guy who. Who's a door to door solar panel salesman. He. And he does well for himself. But he also is like, he's willing to. He probably had to go door to door and fundraise when he was younger.

[Ryan]

Yeah. If I would. I'm totally down for this. If anyone is in the. The greater lakes area selling solar panels door to door, hit me up.

[Miles]

So that's confusing. Todd. When you say greater lakes, we're talking like the greater of the Superior.

[Ryan]

The lakes. That would be the.

[Miles]

This is classic Midwest, mostly Minnesota. It's like people in Minnesota just think that the world revolves around Minnesota at times in the sense of. They call the University of Minnesota the U. Yeah.

[Ryan]

I think every state does that.

[Miles]

And then. But the. The U is in Miami. Like, come on, guys. And then Tyler's just assuming that the only lakes region in the entire Midwest is where he lives.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Greater lakes area.

[Ryan]

Well, because it's better than all the rest of the way.

[Tyler]

I didn't know there was a like a lesser lakes area.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Every other lakes area is less.

[Tyler]

You could just specify and say like if you're in the land of 10000 lakes. Hit me up.

[Ryan]

No, because that'd be too broad. Where I live is the lakes area.

[Miles]

How many lakes? Maybe like what, 500 or so. If you're in the land of 500 lakes.

[Ryan]

Yeah. If you're somewhere around. If you're in Becker County. How about that?

[Tyler]

Okay, perfect.

[Ryan]

That's the greater lakes area.

[Miles]

If anyone wants to find Tyler's bunker too, I think it's also. It's either in Becker county or Ottertail County. What's perms County?

[Ryan]

Otter Tail.

[Miles]

It's in one of those two counties. I'm pretty sure I've narrowed it down. So if anyone wants to go looking.

[Tyler]

For Tyler's bunker, well, he's gonna need solar out there too. That's true.

[Ryan]

It could be in Minolin county as well. If.

[Miles]

If you guys. If you're a door to door sale solar salesman out there and you find Dollar's bunker, he has to buy solar panels from you for the bunker.

[Ryan]

Yeah, done.

[Tyler]

You know, actually. Well, Miles and I will find a solar salesman for you.

[Miles]

We'll.

[Tyler]

We'll set you up with a good guy and he'll get you taken care of.

[Ryan]

I don't want him unless he goes.

[Miles]

Find a solar sale.

[Tyler]

Someone who's going to report info back to us.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

Trying to get a spy on the inside.

[Miles]

True. Yeah. That's actually smart. Get a solar salesman, send them to Tyler. Tyler's like. He's gonna be like, I'm gonna need an ocular pat down in this place to know what your needs are. Tyler will take them to the. The bunker, then the guy will report back to us.

[Tyler]

Exactly.

[Miles]

Easy peasy on the entire thing.

[Tyler]

Put a bug. Yeah. Bug him.

[Miles]

Yeah. Even if he puts a bag over his head, we'll have a pen in his front pocket with a camera on it.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Jared]

At a locator.

[Miles]

Yep. We'll just. Yeah, we'll find my iPhone.

[Jared]

Here's my iPhone.

[Ryan]

You got Apple Air tagged him.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

We could even do the new the meta glasses or whatever. Just throw a Ray Ban sticker over the. Over the side.

[Ryan]

Ray Ban has smart glasses.

[Tyler]

Yeah, Rayman does.

[Ryan]

They tried to sell me on them last time I was at the eye doctor.

[Tyler]

Huh.

[Miles]

No go.

[Ryan]

No go.

[Miles]

Jared, what do you think is ruining the fabric of America?

[Jared]

People don't know how to stand in line in America.

[Miles]

So you're saying that lines are ruining.

[Ryan]

You know what I think? Eliminated the line or people knowing how to stand in line. Self checkout. Nobody has to stand in line at the person one anymore.

[Miles]

No, the problem is, Tyler, you're close. It's. It's the. It's the mobile order pickup is what's ruining lines. Because in that area, everyone, you know, you don't have to wait in a line. It's just waiting for your order to come up and then you pop in there.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Self checkout was first, though, so I think that got the ball rolling.

[Jared]

Yeah, it's just like people, like you go to a gas station and people are standing directly behind the person and there'll be like a door in the way. There's like a lot of cross traffic going when you should be like, kind of peeling.

[Miles]

Yeah, just peel around a little bit.

[Ryan]

Peel around and peel, like a little reach around, a little wraparound.

[Jared]

Yeah, yeah. And like in other countries, like Europe, they know how to stand in line. And I've seen videos.

[Miles]

I was going to say, you've never been to Europe, have you? Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah. So, like, just. We just need a better line etiquette, I think, is the.

[Tyler]

I mean, you guys had to line up for recess to go back inside when we were younger.

[Ryan]

Correct.

[Tyler]

I mean, that's the induction. Are they not. Are they not teaching that anymore? Are they just letting kids barge through the door?

[Miles]

No, they just send out mass texts now, say that they're time to go in instead of. So. Because they count all the kids after recess. Right. That's why you stand.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Headcount.

[Miles]

It's like they just now text the teacher and say, I'm inside.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Here.

[Ryan]

Made it.

[Miles]

I had a line interaction this weekend. I was at a fast casual restaurant and it was. It was questionable who was up next because like you said.

[Ryan]

Every episode. Every episode.

[Miles]

Like you said, Jared, the line. We're all. We're all sorts of mess. But also these places are trying to maximize how much space they have for seating. So they don't leave a lot of room for a line necessarily.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I might also been part of the issue.

[Jared]

Scared of my phone.

[Miles]

And I knew we were up next, though, in my heart of hearts. But I still. You still gotta ask the guy you like. You go ahead. Knowing you, assuming that he knows that you were here first and that he's just gonna say, go ahead. But you have to say that I don't know what I'm gonna do if I'm clearly up next. And I say, you can, guys, you can go ahead. And he says, okay.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

He doesn't even give you a. You sure?

[Miles]

Yeah, I insist. Yeah. I mean, we lions in J. I Mean, we're. I think we're. The reason why is we're just doing less lines. We got so many checkout spots, mobile orders. You know, you don't have to wait in line. You just walk in. And now I think it's just we don't. We've forgotten even how to be. To get in line.

[Jared]

Yeah. We're rebels.

[Miles]

Yeah. Which. But, you know, it's at the American spirit. That's really what. What we're bred for, though, is not standing in line.

[Ryan]

Anarchy.

[Miles]

You know, we started with a revolution.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Interesting.

[Miles]

So do you want us to be.

[Jared]

More like Europe, just with lines in general, just peeling around so you want.

[Miles]

To see more line. Next thing you know, we're sending taxes over to Europe, and it's just. That's what you want.

[Jared]

And then Arizona. T starts getting taxed.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Don't risk our team.

[Miles]

Then we're gonna have to dump a shitload of Arizona tea into Greater Lakes. To the Greater Lakes Harbor. We're gonna have a duth Tea Party. Duth Arizona Tea Party.

[Tyler]

What? One thing I love about traveling is when the TSA agents get pissed off at everybody who is just like, everyone's kind of, like, discombobulated. And like, no one. It's just a big mumbo jumbo in front of the. The desk agent. And they're yelling and trying to get people organized and telling you what you can leave in what leave out. But you're just going to ask that anyway. So it's like, for them to try and, like, have order with what's going on out front is just almost useless. No one wants to listen to TSA agent.

[Miles]

But the thing. It's not for you, Ryan. You've traveled enough to know there are some people who don't. Do not fly, who have no idea what's going on. And when you get up to the front, if they are completely flying blind, they're going to freeze and hold up the whole line.

[Tyler]

Like, that's fair. So it's like you at the grocery store. Yeah.

[Miles]

I don't remember what you said you.

[Tyler]

Hadn'T been in the grocery store in like, two or three, five, six years.

[Miles]

That would be. Yeah. If there. I'm not gonna know what to do the next time I step foot in the grocery store.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Now, if the grocery stores took a page out of tsa, give you orders. All right, Pick a lane. Take all your stuff out of the cart, put it on the bel. The lines moving, you can keep your shoes on. You know, like, that'll be helpful for me. Just like when someone never flies, they get a heads up that they got to take their shoes off.

[Tyler]

Sure.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And the people, the. The regulars at the grocery store, they know all that stuff already.

[Miles]

It's just. It's.

[Tyler]

It's for.

[Miles]

It's for guys, like. Correct.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Miles]

We've never been.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. Statute of limitations, too, like. Yeah. You know, it's been long enough to where I think now you can say you've never been to a grocery stor.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's off my record. It's been so long, it's now been cleared off my record like it never happened.

[Tyler]

I think we call that expunged maybe. I don't know. My buddy was talking about expunging something off of his record. I don't know what it.

[Miles]

One of your college buddy.

[Tyler]

College buddy.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. He couldn't fly home for Christmas because he's on, like, no fly list, but he's like, next Christmas I can, because I get expunged in a couple of.

[Ryan]

Months, my final minor will be expunged.

[Tyler]

Let's go 10 years or what?

[Ryan]

10 years.

[Miles]

Wow.

[Tyler]

That's huge.

[Miles]

Just. Just like your minor. I don't. I've. I've never been to a grocery store. I forgot that I said that. I. I haven't. The other weekend, though, I drove Anne and my son to the grocery store, dropped her off, and me and the little guy just drove around the parking lot for a while.

[Ryan]

Oh. Yeah.

[Miles]

So I was close.

[Ryan]

You were there. You were. You were right there.

[Miles]

I was right there.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Miles]

Couldn't get myself to do it, though.

[Tyler]

They've changed a lot. You would be amazed at grocery stores nowadays.

[Miles]

Really.

[Tyler]

It's. It's crazy.

[Miles]

What do they got going on in grocery stores now versus, like five years?

[Tyler]

Well, now they got these automatic misters that spray the. They've had those for produce or whatever.

[Ryan]

I remember had those for a long time.

[Tyler]

Wow. Now they got. Yeah.

[Miles]

They still doing samples at the grocery store?

[Tyler]

Some of them, yeah. Some grocery stores.

[Miles]

Only on Sundays.

[Ryan]

The least. The one I go.

[Miles]

The fact that we're not doing samples at grocery stores every day of the week anymore, it's ruining the fabric of America.

[Tyler]

I agree.

[Ryan]

I. I could. I need more than one donut hole on my Tuesday trip to the grocery store.

[Miles]

That's a. Yeah. As a kid, man.

[Ryan]

Give me some fruit snacks, please. Yeah.

[Tyler]

What is. What's a tablespoon of muscle milk going to do for my muscles? Give me whole bottle as a sample, and then I'll decide. You Know if I actually want to buy some.

[Miles]

So they do muscle milk samples at the. Again, I. You guys got to let me know what's going on at the grocery store. That's a whole another segment.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

What's new? What's. What's the hot stuff in the grocery store these days?

[Ryan]

That's the kind of groundbreaking material you get on you bet your radio.

[Tyler]

Well, they.

[Miles]

I mean, there's got to be other guys out there who haven't been in the grocery store in half Dec plus.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah, speaking.

[Miles]

Is there anything new going on or am I not missing much.

[Ryan]

Besides self checkout?

[Tyler]

Well, they got some of them. They got Starbucks in there now. You can get a coffee at the grocery store.

[Miles]

I remember that, though.

[Tyler]

You can get. Dudes. They got. They got people rolling sushi in the grocery stores now.

[Ryan]

That's true.

[Tyler]

It's like a goddamn sushi restaurant. It's like the local. Where do you want to go to for supper now? Let's go to cash wise.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Another local grocery store chain around here. They have like, you can build your own popcorn bag.

[Miles]

Stop.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So you go, they have room for this.

[Ryan]

So they're like, hey, what did they take out? I don't know. I think they. They built it. It's brand new. And they just had a popcorn wing in there. So you can go in there and be like, I like. I like the regular cheddar caramel, but I want my ratios to be 60 cheddar, 20 caramel, 20 regular.

[Miles]

See, I'm a compartmentalized guy. I like getting the big tin with the three dividers with all three of them in separate bags. I don't like eating cheese with caramel. No one's ever like, God, just craving a cheesy caramel dish.

[Ryan]

It's.

[Miles]

I guess that is cheesecake, but the cheese is. It's not cheddar, you know, it's creamy veggies.

[Ryan]

Yeah, cheesecake was cheddar.

[Miles]

Cheddar cheese cake.

[Ryan]

Strawberry cheddar cheesecake.

[Tyler]

Yeah, cheesecake's just. Yeah, it's. Cheese is cremalized cream and caramelized. Yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

Okay. Yeah. You guys got anything else that's ruined the fabric of America?

[Ryan]

I. I got some. Some lower. Lower ones. They're. They're tearing the fabric. It's not completely ruined yet. Slow walkers, dude, they can.

[Miles]

They're pilling the fabric.

[Ryan]

They're pilling the fabric. Slow walkers are peeling the fabric of America.

[Miles]

Well, but also, you know, maybe slow down once in a while or smell the roses.

[Ryan]

Get out of the Way.

[Miles]

Tyler.

[Tyler]

I'm with you, man. And the one on my list was the lack of spatial awareness in just in public places.

[Ryan]

I think we combine yours with Jared's and mine. I think that you're right on the money.

[Tyler]

Yeah. People do not have spatial awareness anymore. In grocery stores, in department stores. Airports is another big one. I don't. I don't know what's going on in their heads, but they're in la la land. Everybody seemed like no one else. Yeah, everyone's looking down at their phones.

[Miles]

You know, it's gonna wake up once in a while. You're gonna miss it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Preach.

[Miles]

I had an embarrassing moment at the airport last week. Walked through the airport and some guy yelled out to me who was a fan of some sort. And there's a guy walking by, and it sounded like it came from behind me, so I turned around and the guy that walked past turned around, looked at me and I like, said like, hey, yeah, good to me, whatever. And the guy was like, what the fuck? And then I turned back around and the guy who actually yelled was just magically standing in front of me. And so I literally just like yelled at this one guy who was just trying to get to gate before, you.

[Ryan]

Know, and also the fan that did say something. Probably thought you were trying to hide. He. He says hi to you.

[Miles]

I thought I was ignoring him.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Great. Good. Good guy, though. He's a tsa.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

You gave me some wings.

[Miles]

Yeah, he let me go through the back door. I didn't have to go through the metal detector.

[Tyler]

Hell yeah.

[Miles]

No, that didn't happen. I. I followed all the rules. Back to you say pre check, though, so I didn't have to take out my shoes like a dunce.

[Tyler]

I don't even have to put deodorant on when I go to airports anymore because I. I've never. I haven't.

[Miles]

Because you have TSA pre check.

[Tyler]

Yeah, well, no, I. I haven't had to lift my arms over my head in 10 years. No deodorant anymore. Don't eat it.

[Ryan]

Are we all pre checked?

[Miles]

I am, yeah.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah, look at us.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I'm clear.

[Miles]

This is a pre checked up.

[Ryan]

I didn't realize that we were. We were so elite.

[Tyler]

I'm cleared.

[Miles]

Are you? No, I was gonna say having clear in Fargo is so pointless. They don't have clear.

[Tyler]

Having pre check in Fargo's damn near. I mean, obviously you're connecting a lot of places. It's like. It's like. It's kind of. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, hey, I, I, we were talking about.

[Miles]

Because I flew a jig, we were like, talking about what is more useless than the person running the TSA pre check line in Fargo. It's just pointless.

[Tyler]

Probably the person working the gift shop at the Fargo airport.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Two jobs be legendary.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I don't, I don't assume people are flying into Fargo to get trinkets to bring back home.

[Ryan]

And if they are, they're not buying them at the airport.

[Tyler]

No, no.

[Ryan]

I had another one that falls into the spatial awareness. I think it's just people who keep their phone on loud. What are you doing?

[Miles]

Yep.

[Ryan]

You're ruining the fabric of America. We're. We are a vibrate only society.

[Miles]

I would love to hear your justification of how they're ruining the fabric of America, though.

[Ryan]

It's just the spatial awareness. It's just like, at this point in life, ear space and brain space is sacred to each person, and they're violating it by keeping their phones on loud. It.

[Miles]

Okay, so, you know, on his side, you say that you want people to put their phone down and be more aware of their surroundings and interact with people, and now you want people to stay in their own bubble and just keep on their own phone with no sounds that.

[Ryan]

I mean, what, what, what useful social interaction do we get from me hearing Jared's phone go off?

[Miles]

Well, it's, you know, phone goes off, I'm like, well, we know who the boomer is in the room. You know, me and Ryan now are connected. You may not be connecting with that guy.

[Ryan]

So you're saying that people should leave it Allowed to be the sacrificial lamb to create other. Other relationships?

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. It's like if someone's talking on. Talking on speakerphone.

[Miles]

Oh, my God, I do. Like that.

[Tyler]

Or like FaceTime is another. That's just another world. Like FaceTime. No AirPods move. That is crazy.

[Ryan]

My little sister exclusively communicates through FaceTime. Like, instead of just. Even when she's driving, she'll just FaceTime me and then set the phone down as if it was on speaker. So why don't you just call me?

[Miles]

I don't know.

[Ryan]

I can't even see either. I'm just looking at the inside of.

[Miles]

Your cup holder right now, which grosses me out. I hate looking at the inside of cup holders. They're so dirty.

[Tyler]

They are pretty dirty.

[Miles]

Black hole. That's got to be dirtier than toilets.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Also one of the favorite things right now, like, in the Internet, like, fun facts, news world Right now, I feel like, is saying, what stuff is dirtier than toilets? Have you seen that, like, Your toothbrush has 200 more germs than a toilet does on average? Or like, AirPods. Yeah. Your AirPods have 5 billion more germs than. Than if you lick the toilet seat.

[Ryan]

Thanks. I'm still not gonna lick the toilet seat.

[Miles]

Yeah. Then we have a toilet licking epidemic, because they're like, they said, I can't use my AirPods and I should be licking toilets. Here we are. So really, those meme pages are in. News pages are ruining the fabric of America.

[Jared]

Maybe toilets. Maybe toilets are.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Toilets are easy to clean, though, because it's just porcelain. There's really no, like, cracks and crevices. I mean, a couple here and there.

[Jared]

But flush every time you're done with them.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Except for your. Your grandma's old. Old squishy toilet seat.

[Tyler]

Yeah, we had squishies growing up.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Dude, I just can't believe that there was a period of time that we all have sat on a squishy toilet seat before.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then it's like that weird like. Like, kind of like plasticky, fake leather style material.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And then when you stand up, it, like, peels off.

[Ryan]

Eventually it cracks. And then when you sit on a cracked one, it pinches your butt cheek a little.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah, that's happened to me a couple times.

[Miles]

You look like you've been cutting yourself, but on your th.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, Just.

[Ryan]

Yeah, on the backs of them.

[Jared]

I always felt like the seats not very big either. It's like, very, like, narrow, tight.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Miles]

That is one thing we have done a good job with in America is making toilets bigger.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You go into an old home and you sit on a toilet seat, and, like, you can barely. Like, it's hard to find the hole with your butthole. You know, it's kind of like you sit down and you're like, well, hopefully this goes in.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Fingers crossed.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And now you almost fall in the new toilets. So I. I'd rather almost fall in than miss completely.

[Ryan]

I'd rather have wet cheeks than poopy cheeks.

[Miles]

Or just. Yeah, poop everywhere. Look. Look like you had a blowout like your kid.

[Ryan]

Yeah. Up your back.

[Miles]

Because then there's, you know, spatter back. You know, you get some stuff on the Sheetrock. Hey, you guys got a magic eraser? Toilet's pretty small in there.

[Jared]

It's old. As old as.

[Tyler]

You guys got. You guys got a mop.

[Miles]

Look at those. Those old ones. They should have, like, a light System that gives you a green light when you are aiming in the toilet. Yeah.

[Tyler]

When I can sense it. Yeah, it can sense a hole.

[Jared]

Kind of like the Bolite.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, it's just basically, you know, like brown eye tracking software. You know, kids these days won't understand what it's like to sit on a tiny ass. Padded toilets.

[Ryan]

Squishy. It does. When you sit on one of those squishy toilet seats, it does feel like you're just sitting on someone else's butt cheeks. The squishy ones, it's just like butt cheek on butt cheek action.

[Tyler]

Well, they're like always sweaty too. Yeah, he's got like the. You got the. The, you know, perspiration from the water and then your butt. Your butt's sweaty. You know, it's. It's trapped all day. And right off there.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like there's a fine line. If it's. If it's crazy in there, you get too sweaty. You're slipping and sliding all over the place. Yeah. But if it's. If it's an in betweener, you're sticking.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Yeah. And if you're sitting there waiting for round two, it's like. And you're slipping and slide. You don't know if you're back in position or not.

[Miles]

It's true. Very stressful. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Round two. It's wild with those slippery. Slippery toilet seats.

[Jared]

Sleepy seats.

[Miles]

Another thing kids these days won't understand. They. Kids these days will not understand the feeling of a freshly burnt cd.

[Ryan]

Oh, hell yeah. Just feeling like king of the world with 12 songs you picked.

[Miles]

You know, it's like you feel like. Like you are a music producer when you burn that cd, you just pull it out.

[Ryan]

It's gold. Got three lines on it. You write Tyler's summer mix.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. And you. Every time you take it out, you put it in there. You take it out. You have to look at the back side of the CD to see if it's a different color, where that wrote the songs on the thing. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Tyler]

I've never. I've never burnt a CD before. I always just had.

[Ryan]

Dude, you're missing out.

[Tyler]

I had kids at school burn for me.

[Ryan]

You might have missed it. I don't. None of the else has CD drive anymore.

[Miles]

You knew you were in a good spot when you were able to get the colored CDs. Do you remember that phase?

[Ryan]

I. Nuh. All right. Because I always every.

[Miles]

He wasn't that cool then.

[Ryan]

Every CD I ever Burnt was just shiny gold.

[Miles]

Yep. Yeah, they started coming out with, like, red and blue and purple and all that. That was pretty cool.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah, I remember those.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, you titled them Weekend Jams 2009. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I'm pretty sure I had Mac Miller's, like, first album on a blue one for Blue Slide Park.

[Miles]

That was the thing. Like, you burnt CDs for other people as well.

[Jared]

Yeah, it was awesome.

[Miles]

Basically had a CD plug.

[Ryan]

There's no. The height of romance in middle school was burning your significant other a cd.

[Miles]

And also the. The pure vibes of leaving school on a Friday afternoon, getting in your car, popping in weekend jams 09 and just cruising home with the windows down was the best feeling in the world. You can't just want. You're gonna go have Spotify DJ mix something up for you real quick. Your AI dj.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

You want to start a jam.

[Jared]

Yeah. And then, like, with Burning Cities, you'd have to stack it. Like, you would have your best song first.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

Closer.

[Ryan]

The etiquette of it, you gotta have a couple, like, not sleepers, but like, maybe cult classics right in the middle.

[Miles]

You could tell when I. If I had burned multiple CDs in a session, you could tell which ones I burnt first because I wrote what songs were on it on the outside. And by the time I got to the fifth, sixth cd, it was just named a thing. And I had to guess what was.

[Tyler]

That was the best. Hopping in a buddy's car, like, right when, you know, 14, 15 years old, and they'd pull out their. Their.

[Ryan]

The book.

[Tyler]

The book of CDs, and you'd get. And they let you look through that and pick whatever one you'd want.

[Ryan]

I don't know why I'm not Dodgers fan, but for some reason, my CD book was a LA Dodgers CD book. I still have it somewhere.

[Jared]

Gotta start over.

[Miles]

Well, no, it's. Because it's like back in the day, you couldn't just, like, buy sports memorabilia online and have every team you wanted. It was just always the most popular teams ended up in the stores. And so if you wanted a sports one, it was just whoever was the most popular at the time. And you just bought that.

[Ryan]

It's a cool logo.

[Tyler]

Tyler, did you ever sell cd?

[Ryan]

No. Okay.

[Tyler]

I was gonna say we had. We had to write that down on your.

[Ryan]

No, that's one thing. I've never been a flipper.

[Tyler]

Okay. Okay.

[Ryan]

It might be a shorter list if we do jobs I haven't done.

[Tyler]

That's true. That's Very true.

[Ryan]

Something that kids these days will never understand is the absolute stealth you had to accomplish passing notes in class. Like we're like Tom Cruise Mission Impossible level stealthy. Making sure we didn't get caught passing notes. Kids now you just kind of like sneakily text. You have to hand anything to anyone.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Or they Snapchat from like the Snapchat's down here and you can only see like the bridge of their nose and up. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, well, we would, we would.

[Miles]

I mean, I don't get a lot of Snapchats from kids, so I don't know how they're Snapchat.

[Tyler]

Why Just I say that because there's a couple kids at the lake and I like if I see him Snapchat and face up right here and straight up to the sky guy. We used to just stuff them in the vents of lockers.

[Miles]

Oh yeah. Slide it up the vent to locker.

[Ryan]

But then you can't communicate mid class. Like we were like, oh, we used to.

[Miles]

Well, but then we would go like you go up to get a Kleenex and you'd just like slip it out of your pocket onto their desk.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like how many of those scenarios do you think we actually got away with? Versus the teacher knew what we were doing. They just didn't say anything.

[Ryan]

Dude, it has to be. I would say it was around 50. 50, 60.

[Tyler]

I was gonna say 60. 40.

[Ryan]

Like 60, 40. We were getting caught and they didn't say anything.

[Tyler]

No, 60, 40. We were sly enough to get by.

[Miles]

Oh, not a chance. You just gotta remember. So we view our teachers back in the day as these well put together people. Half our teachers were hungover every single Monday. They didn't give a. They just let. They had. They had to pick and choose their moments. You know, there's 24 years old, they are still drunk from the weekend and they got to come and deal with you. It's like it's not worth it to get pissed about a note at that day. Yeah, I bet the, the amount of it was either like they would give out detention on Mondays because they were cranky from being hung over and just they would just snap. Or you get away with way more because they didn't give a. Yeah, it's kind of a.

[Ryan]

You know, they're a hair of the dog in it and their. In their coffee that morning half in the bag.

[Miles]

That would be crazy. Just drinking on the job as a.

[Ryan]

High school teacher, I realized probably like two, three years after high school that One of my teachers. His coffee mug. He was drinking all. It was just his spitter. He was spitting his chew in his coffee mug all the time.

[Miles]

It's kind of bad, actually.

[Tyler]

I mean, yeah. Yeah.

[Miles]

I mean, he could get fired for that. That.

[Ryan]

Oh, probably. I mean, we were all. We'd all get in trouble for having chew in high school. And then the teacher was just doing it too.

[Tyler]

Our voag teacher openly chewed. Yeah, you see the ring in his pocket?

[Ryan]

Rules don't count for shop teachers.

[Tyler]

No, no, he wasn't on like. Like his. His, like shop was like across the parking lot. So he would. That.

[Ryan]

That's.

[Tyler]

He's even more rogue separation of church and state.

[Ryan]

We had a kid. I. You. Not. His name was Dylan. We were in English class and he got caught with a dip in. And the teacher was like, what's in your lip, Dylan? And he swipes his tongue in his lip, swallows it. He's like, nothing. And then he just went white as a ghost and projectile vomited all over the floor.

[Tyler]

Buddy. A buddy of mine, his uncle was a, like, construction tech teacher out in Devil's Lake area. And he caught a kid chewing outside when they were building the house, which he didn't think it was that big of a deal, but I don't know. He went up to the kid and he said. He said, like, I. I know what you're doing. I know you gotta chew in right now. You either swallow that right now and I don't say anything, or you can go like, you can go spit it out and I'm gonna have to report you to the office. So the kid ended up swallowing it.

[Jared]

Damn.

[Ryan]

Jesus.

[Tyler]

Well, he was in sports because he didn't. We didn't want anyone to know he was.

[Ryan]

That's two weeks off.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that was six weeks for us, Tyler.

[Ryan]

Jesus. Yeah, we risked it. It shitty tournament. You didn't want to go to. Two weeks off. I'll get caught. We didn't do that. Another thing kids these days just don't understand at all is just listening to your coach. I have a buddy who is an assistant wrestling coach. And he said, these coach. Your dad, kids, the coach. Listening to your coach. I have a buddy who's an assistant wrestling coach. He said they're bringing their phones to practice.

[Tyler]

This.

[Miles]

That is crazy. It's.

[Ryan]

And I'm like, is this normal? He's like, yeah. Every coach I've talked to this year says they have the same problem on the field. On. In the wrestling room during practice.

[Miles]

But that's a room. It's inside. You just throw away your.

[Tyler]

But you guys have rockers.

[Ryan]

Yeah. You're not like, what if you brought your phone into practice? When I was in high school, your ass have been running the entire practice. And he said, like, they're just ignoring the lessons they're being taught. And on their phone. Phones. In the middle of practice, they'll set their phone down on the side, drill a little bit, and then pick it back up. And just.

[Miles]

That's crazy. And that is why there's no way that's happening.

[Ryan]

And I was like, dude, how is this. Like, how is this fly? Because, like, we. We wrestled together in college. Like, if we'd have pulled this in college as adults, we'd have got our asses beat. And he's like, I don't know, dude. But every coach I've talked to is dealing with the same right now.

[Miles]

That's crazy. You imagine, like, you're. You're like. You are right. I write 24 blast laughs on one. On one. Ready? Br. Play. Then run back to the huddle, pull out your phone, take a self.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

All right, let's. Let's do another play. Just hold on one sec. Hold on one sec.

[Ryan]

Hold on.

[Miles]

Coach, I'm trying to find the right filter.

[Tyler]

What time do you want me to come over? After you? Can I try and chill after practice?

[Miles]

All right, cool. What are we running? Crazy.

[Ryan]

Insane. I just. I couldn't believe him.

[Miles]

Now. We used to, like, when we'd have, like, a Saturday morning shoot around for basketball. That was no structure. We would, like, bring our phones in.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Captain's practice, I think totally fine. Like, sanctioned, regular, like, important practices.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Bananas.

[Miles]

But it's like. Yeah. If everyone's doing it. Can't.

[Ryan]

You can't suspend your whole team.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, if you're a coach, you just make a rule.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And I guess, like.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like, what's just. I think that's maybe more of a reflection on.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You as a coach.

[Ryan]

I. I don't know.

[Tyler]

I control.

[Ryan]

I kind of was like, what are you doing? Why are you letting him get away with this? And then he basically, like, everyone's dealing with it. He said since COVID blamed it on.

[Miles]

Covid, we're still believing.

[Ryan]

He said that's when the switch happened.

[Miles]

You know what? It's. Tyler, you tell me this. Is it your fault or your kids fault if your kid puts their glass of milk right on the edge, right on the. Of the. Of the table, and then they knock it off on the floor? Whose Fault is that if it's the.

[Ryan]

Very first time and they've never been warned. My fault.

[Miles]

Your kid is four.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Five.

[Miles]

Even after he's been warned. Is it your fault or is it the kid's fault?

[Ryan]

His fault.

[Miles]

I would 100 disagree.

[Ryan]

You should have learned your lesson. 4 years old the first time you saw.

[Miles]

When they are 15 years old and all they can think about is getting their dick wet on their phone. I think it's the coach's fault. No, but also kids these days. Come on, let's figure the outer out.

[Ryan]

Sad.

[Miles]

I think it's a classic. Both sides of the coin.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's his fault here.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

And really, I think it's on the parents.

[Ryan]

Ricochet shots to them.

[Miles]

I don't know. I don't know how a parent would. In today's world. Yeah. I don't know.

[Tyler]

Oh, set limits on the, on the. I mean you can set. You can set limits of how long you're on certain apps or like that. I don't know.

[Ryan]

They'd hack their way through it.

[Jared]

Smart kids.

[Miles]

I. Do you think it's even possible in today's world to have your kid raw dog Life until they're 18? No phone whatsoever.

[Ryan]

When did you guys get your phones?

[Miles]

It's like, I just feel like you're then creating such an inconvenience for yourself.

[Ryan]

Right. That's. My dad wasn't gonna let me have a phone until I was like 16 or 17. And then it became so inconvenient that I got one when I was, was 14, I think.

[Miles]

Well, it was just regular convenient. But the rest of his life became so convenient because he had a phone and he was used to that.

[Ryan]

Yeah. And I was always having to borrow people's phones. And then he wouldn't answer it because he didn't know the number. Yeah, I was like, dad, it's me.

[Tyler]

My dad would pick me up, I would. My dad would have to give me because my, my dad had a cooler flip phone than my mom. So I'd always. My dad would always give me his flip phone when I'd like go to a, you know, freshman get together or something. I think I got. I think I got my own phone at 14 when I got my license.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

I got lucky. My brother was 16. I was 12 when I got my first flip phone. But it's cuz like my brother got one and they got like a two for one deal, so I got one too.

[Ryan]

He was pissed. He's like, what the.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Speaking of flip phones.

[Miles]

No it was my older sister who was actually mad. She's like, I didn't get a phone till I was in college. You got one when you're 12.

[Ryan]

Like, well, they didn't. Weren't invented until you were in college.

[Tyler]

Kids these days will never know what it's like to text with t9 word.

[Ryan]

Ah, hell yeah.

[Tyler]

God, I could rip t9 words.

[Ryan]

So fingers flying, dude.

[Tyler]

Absolutely. Like, just.

[Miles]

You thought you were fast, but for whatever reason, there was always. And it was always a girl.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

There was always one girl who was so lightning fast, I swear her fingers were work faster than her brain.

[Tyler]

Agreed.

[Ryan]

I'm pretty sure, like, if she was.

[Miles]

Gonna, like, talk in front of the class, it would be faster for her to type out in T9 word her speech to the class than it would be for her to say.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like, yeah.

[Ryan]

In the last couple weeks, I saw a tick tock come up of I think it was Ellen show. This girl in the early 2000s goes on and tries to set the Guinness world record for fastest T9 usage. And the phrase was to be or not to be. That is the question. And she did it in under like 4 seconds or some. It was nuts. I'll find that video and send it to you guys.

[Jared]

I love Ellen.

[Ryan]

Yep.

[Tyler]

Me too.

[Miles]

Kids these days won't understand pre scandal.

[Ryan]

I'm actually experiencing this one right now as my kids start to walk watch television programs. Kids these days will never understand the rush of running to the bathroom during a commercial. So you can get back out before your show starts again for sure.

[Miles]

Because it's all on Netflix.

[Ryan]

They can pause it, they can rewind.

[Tyler]

Yeah, that is true.

[Miles]

I forgot about that.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

They won't know pre tivo.

[Ryan]

They won't throw pre dvr, Especially during.

[Miles]

I feel like me even knowing what tivo is dates me quite a bit.

[Jared]

It's a big deal when it came.

[Miles]

Out because it's TiVo, then DV, it became DVR. Yeah, this. It was TiVo was unbeliev. The noises it would make.

[Ryan]

It's like even, like music too. Like, if we're just listening to the radio and a commercial comes on, they'll be like, dad, change the song. Like, I can't. It's a commercial, buddy. And they just. It's a foreign concept to them.

[Jared]

Good lesson.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. My kid wants me to skip every commercial, but I. I just have to tell him it's not YouTube. And so, like, if we're watching something, I say, I can't skip this one. And then he'll go. It's not YouTube. Like, how do you even know what YouTube is already? I mean, yeah, he's seen every iteration of Old McDonald on YouTube. That is.

[Ryan]

You got to get in watching.

[Tyler]

There are some old McDonald. There are some old McDonald videos on YouTube with over a billion views.

[Miles]

Dude, my kid likes Old McDonald too. He also loves Bi N G O. Yeah. Long for Bingo. Yeah.

[Ryan]

That is Nemo.

[Miles]

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Tyler]

Speaking of TVs, kids will never know the feeling that you'd get when you'd smack the side of the TV and it would just automatically be fixed.

[Ryan]

Can I add blowing into a N64 cartridge too?

[Tyler]

Same thing, dude, the fixing.

[Ryan]

Old technology is the best.

[Miles]

Yeah, no, it's not. It's quite literally the worst.

[Ryan]

But the thrill of your. Your.

[Miles]

This is classic. Like, oh, it was so much better. Like the fact you had to hit your TV to get it to work was crazy.

[Ryan]

But we just don't have the thrill of being able to fix something with moderate violence.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. Usually modern violence makes it worse in today's world. Right?

[Jared]

I don't know. Guessing a wi fi password is pretty thrilling though.

[Ryan]

How have. When have you ever guessed it?

[Jared]

Well, you can like put two and two together, like what their other passwords are and then you get like your parents password.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Okay. Okay. I thought you're like rolling into a restaurant just knowing it sometimes can. I'm gonna guess this. And he gets like 9xW3942. Sometimes you come in.

[Jared]

Yeah, sometimes you can.

[Tyler]

How? We had a. The air compressor the other day wouldn't fire up, so I was like, God, what if like I have to hit the side of it just in case that's the issue. Hit the side of it didn't work.

[Ryan]

Damn.

[Tyler]

I know.

[Miles]

Still make stuff like they used to.

[Tyler]

No, they don't. They don't.

[Miles]

Well, boys, should we take a break?

[Ryan]

I think we should.

[Jared]

I have one.

[Miles]

Oh, sorry.

[Jared]

The thrill of the bottom scroll if school is canceled or not.

[Tyler]

Oh my God.

[Ryan]

Oh yeah, Jared.

[Miles]

Because now they just go on Twitter or what?

[Tyler]

I think it gets automatic text alert. Yeah, yeah.

[Jared]

You don't have to like go watch tv.

[Ryan]

We would get that for daycare because our daycare ran off of the school system cancellations. So you just get a text alert when schools are canceled. Old.

[Tyler]

My high school, I started with a W, so I had to wait till.

[Ryan]

Like damn near the.

[Tyler]

But it was. It was thrilling.

[Ryan]

I mean, honestly, that's like the 12 year old version of winning the lottery, like watching the Lottery numbers was a.

[Jared]

Kick to the balls though. Like it would just say like school bus is two hours late for your school. You're like, I gotta still go.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Why? Why is this?

[Miles]

And honestly, a school day that's scrunched is almost worse. Yeah, like I'd rather have a full day than just like two hours late. Because like you'd get into class and like, I don't know, it just was always way more hectic. Feel like nothing ever got done.

[Ryan]

What did you guys.

[Miles]

You still would have the same amount of homework, but you wouldn't have any time during the class to do the homework. You know, they would do like 10 minutes at the end. You could work on it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Did your school just eliminate the first two hours of the day or did they take all your classes and scrunch them?

[Miles]

I feel like we did had different time. Like at one point we did the scrunched. Then other times they just got rid of the first two.

[Ryan]

We did this scrunch and the teachers were just always super spazzy. Like we only got 45 minutes today so no around and then we. They'd be just extra crabby.

[Miles]

Like I said. Yeah, it's just a high stress situation for them. Every teacher's got a plan until they get punched in the mouth by a two hour late.

[Ryan]

I got the state breathing down my neck. We got got mea coming up.

[Tyler]

Well, like my senior year I had, I had first hour study hall so I didn't have to go to school for first hour.

[Ryan]

So like two hours later was like.

[Tyler]

Kick two hours later. Like who gives a two hours late. I'm.

[Miles]

But it would be kind of sick then if you did the scrunch and then you get an extra 30 minutes on top of that.

[Tyler]

I know I would.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

We didn't scrunch. We just eliminated. So I'd get to school and I'd go to lunch like 30 minutes later, even though I ate breakfast 30 minutes before that.

[Jared]

I'm gonna get an Arizona tea.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Well, should we take a break?

[Tyler]

Sure.

[Miles]

All right guys, before we get to the next segment, we gotta talk about what we got going over on our website. Oubet.com I'm wearing the boys or buzzing patch hat today. None of the rest of you guys are wearing any merchandise, but I know.

[Ryan]

We got a bunch of cool.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I've been slinging it all. Yeah, I've been slinging it all day, every day.

[Ryan]

Damn near. I can't wear one of those.

[Tyler]

Damn near large is go XL. XL.

[Miles]

There's 14 larges left or something like that, right? 14. So they're almost gone. Yeah, but the patch hats are pretty sweet. We gotta. We gotta bring out. We gotta get some more patch hats going.

[Tyler]

The patch hats are fire. We just launched the bush classic hats, which is a foam trucker hat with the old school 1979 Bush logo on it.

[Jared]

That was a good year.

[Miles]

I think it was probably 89.

[Jared]

Also greater.

[Miles]

Was it the bush or the bush light?

[Tyler]

It was the. It was the first logo after the.

[Ryan]

The.

[Tyler]

What was Bush originally called?

[Miles]

Barbarian beer.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was the first logo after that.

[Miles]

So that must be the bush, because bush light was invented in 89, so this must be. Yeah, this is the fourth light was even invented.

[Tyler]

Yes, it was. Yes, it was.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And then we'll save that secret for next week's. You got some. We got. This is an announcement that will make an announcement for new hats coming soon. Another patch hat that I cooked up, so.

[Miles]

Oh, really?

[Tyler]

I. Dude, I'm just cooking stuff up in the warehouse, you guys. I'm just out there in my own world.

[Miles]

Are you stitching your own patches in the warehouse? How did you cook up a patch?

[Tyler]

I'll show you later. Okay.

[Jared]

Patches hoola.

[Miles]

That's. We need to do a patches Ohola hand sale at some point.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, okay. Absolutely. Slinging patch hats.

[Miles]

Come up with the five Ds of buying a patch hat somehow. Ah, Discount, discount, discount, discount, discount, discount.

[Tyler]

Matt maybe discontinue to, like, hey, we're only gonna do this once, and then they're. They're. They're gone.

[Miles]

Yeah. So we'll find it. We'll maybe do a patches. Oh, houlihan sale at some point. That's a good idea.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Miles]

All right, well, we just did our merch meeting, so.

[Tyler]

Oh, you betcha dot com.

[Miles]

Oh, you betcha.com. go check them out. Okay. Next segment is titled good things to lie about. So I would like to know what you guys think are good things to lie about. And I swear to God, if you guys have anything about lying to your boss and be pissed. Okay?

[Tyler]

No.

[Miles]

Okay. No.

[Tyler]

Boss being my wife, but, yeah, that.

[Ryan]

Was a good thing to learn about Ryan.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So you're just gonna replace boss with wife now on your list? I think texting I'm on my way is a good thing to lie. No, Hear me out, Tyler, okay? We both know that I'm not on my way, Tyler. You know that. I know that. But what we do get is one. You know that I'm awake.

[Ryan]

That's the Only positive.

[Miles]

So you know that I'm on the way.

[Tyler]

All right?

[Miles]

So you know that I'm awake and that I will be on the way. Because there's times when you're like, is he awake? Is he even going to be on the way, way. Now you know that I will be on my way even if I am not now. Plus, it shows that I care about you.

[Ryan]

Please.

[Miles]

Because I, you know, I like that.

[Ryan]

You admit you came. You're coming right at me because you do this to me all the time.

[Miles]

I wake up and I recognize that I'm not gonna be there on time, and so I need to let you know that I feel bad about that. If I didn't feel bad about that, I wouldn't say on my way. I would just show up, up a half hour late and not say anything. So in reality, this is me being as nice as I possibly can by just telling you, hey, I'm thinking about you. I'm on my way. Mentally.

[Ryan]

This is possibly your magnum opus of moving the goalpost. No, because all you got to do on the flip side of the receiving side of this. Tell me you're not even in the shower yet. Then I can plan the rest of my day.

[Miles]

No, because then you won't be ready when I get there. You'll start doing something else.

[Ryan]

No, I will be ready. Ready.

[Miles]

No. So that's one. The other thing is, is people are more comfortable knowing that something bad is going to company, knowing that something bad is going to happen versus just not knowing what the future holds. People would rather know know what's happening, even if it's bad, than not knowing what's going to happen. And by me saying I'm on my way signals to you this is a bad thing. He's going to be late. But now, mentally, you're not sitting there in an anxious fit of, is, when's he gonna show up? Yeah, but you just know that, oh, he's gonna be late.

[Ryan]

Also. You just telling me you're gonna be late accomplishes the same thing.

[Miles]

Yeah, but.

[Tyler]

It'S not the same amount of words.

[Ryan]

Same amount of words gonna be late.

[Miles]

Because then it's admitting, and I don't feel guilty all the time being late.

[Ryan]

You just said you feel sorry.

[Miles]

Yeah, I feel sorry. I don't feel guilty like I am sorry, but I don't. I'm not gonna have to go confess that to the priest.

[Ryan]

Okay?

[Miles]

There's a difference between guilt and. And sorrow.

[Ryan]

This. This is goalpost move of the year. I think.

[Tyler]

Well, I think where Tyler's coming from too is, you know, because he gets there on time. Like, you know, he maybe had to walk into his kids room, give him a kiss on the floor. They were still sleeping because like that, that's. He's ready to go. He's getting, getting going for the day. Didn't even get to see his kids because he had to leave early to get there on time.

[Miles]

Why do you think I'm showing up late? So I can see my kid in the morning after he wakes up.

[Jared]

It's two way street.

[Miles]

Yeah, bada boom. Bought a bang.

[Tyler]

No, what I'm saying is Tyler doesn't get to see his kid.

[Miles]

I know, but am I gonna choose Tyler's kids over my kids? Absolutely not.

[Tyler]

Okay, Tyler, you're gonna choose your kids.

[Miles]

Okay.

[Ryan]

What I do is I just, I. I just show up late because I know he's gonna be.

[Tyler]

See, I, I've thought about doing that, but then I'm like, God, there's this off chance that might be. And then, and then I'm at fault for being there.

[Miles]

And then I'm sitting there doing this.

[Ryan]

Once you get. Once you let go of that, it's so freeing. I used to be the same way because I have to go to Miles's house at least once every two weeks for something and just showing up 15 minutes late never once has hindered anything.

[Miles]

No, I want to say you, you don't. He's lying. He doesn't show up late.

[Ryan]

I did show up super early. The last time you did show up.

[Miles]

30 minutes early, which was a great feeling for me.

[Ryan]

That was an accident because now it's.

[Miles]

Like I could be 10 minutes late and he. The. This headline isn't Miles was 10 minutes late. The headline is Tyler was 30 minutes early on accident. Yeah, you know, that was, that was big for me.

[Ryan]

I showed up at 9 instead of 9:30 and didn't realize how early I was until till like 9:25. And I was like, I wasn't even supposed to be here yet. No, I was just saying you just.

[Miles]

Show up at the time you're supposed to. Lately I feel like. But you gotta admit, I also have been getting way better at being on time.

[Ryan]

Yes.

[Miles]

Yeah, I, I made, I've been making it a point on, on showing up on time and being better at it. At least I'm not gonna nail it every time. But the amount of I'm on my way texts, I've had to. I've been able to trim those down. I kind of miss it.

[Ryan]

Hon, Having us Come to you.

[Tyler]

What's actually kind of wild about this whole situation is we. We've went out to dinner a couple times. Couple times last couple months. And the way I'm preparing myself to then get, you know, get ready to leave the house, you know, like getting dressed, maybe shower, deodorant, whatever. It's like I'm leading up to leaving my house at the time that we say we're going to meet because. And then Meg will be. My wife will be like, Miles and Anna are already there.

[Ryan]

I'm like, whoa, What?

[Tyler]

They said we're gonna meet in 30 minutes and they're already there. So kind of a like a while.

[Miles]

We haven't been 30 minutes early.

[Tyler]

The last one, you were 30 minutes.

[Miles]

Early, said 5:30 and we were there at 5:30.

[Tyler]

I think it was.

[Miles]

No, you guys were late.

[Tyler]

It was six and you were there at 5:30.

[Ryan]

I'm be honest.

[Miles]

It was at six.

[Ryan]

Six.

[Miles]

I, maybe Anne told me 5:30 so I wouldn't be late.

[Tyler]

Probably because my wife told me six.

[Miles]

And then Anna was like in the car, didn't want to tell me that she lied and was like, ah, we're so early. But I can't tell them that we're early. So I'm gonna make it seem like they're late.

[Ryan]

Yeah, there's like.

[Miles]

And that was why when you guys showed up, you're like, why are you guys here?

[Ryan]

So.

[Miles]

Because she wasn't accounting for that. I've been making it a point to be on time lately. Holy smokes. That all makes sense now. An's a liar.

[Ryan]

Hey, good.

[Tyler]

Good thing to lie about though.

[Miles]

But now that I know it, I'm gonna be like, oh, well, that's usually a half hour later because Ann tells me the time. But what's so bad about being early, wasting time? I could have been doing something else other than sitting there twiddling my thumbs, waiting for the to keep telling the waitress that, oh, there's two more people coming. So yeah, we'll wait. What's the fun in that?

[Tyler]

That.

[Ryan]

Okay.

[Miles]

When I could have been sitting on my phone on Tik Tok at my. In my couch, you know.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Without any pants on.

[Tyler]

What's better than just shooting off a text to the people you're meeting for dinner, being like, hey, order me this. And then you show up and your food's already there.

[Miles]

No, Partly the reason why I was on time there is like, so you get home and then the babysitter showed up.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

And I can only take so much small talk with a babysitter in your own home.

[Tyler]

For sure.

[Miles]

You know, to the point where you're like. You're thinking. Because you're like, all right, she showed up. She shows up early because she's trying to not be late. But it's like, the time we told her to show up, we wanted her to show up at that time, so there was the appropriate route of small talk. When you show up 15 minutes early, that's an additional 15 minutes of small talk.

[Tyler]

Yep.

[Miles]

So now it's a full half hour that you're sitting there and you run out of stuff to talk about.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

It's kind of weird because you're like, I want to just, like, sit on my couch, but you're standing in my kitchen.

[Jared]

And, you know, it's like, oh, you're switching majors.

[Tyler]

You're sitting on the couch together.

[Miles]

God, you guys still doing books? Or, like, is it all iPads now? Or, like, what's going on at school? I don't.

[Tyler]

Yeah. When's book buyback coming up?

[Miles]

You guys still burning CDs?

[Jared]

Jump rope by heart.

[Ryan]

So the move in that situation is you and Anne just bounce and you get a drink at the bar.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless you go to a restaurant without a bar, I guess.

[Ryan]

Then you get a drink at the liquor store.

[Miles]

Just go drink in the garage. Yeah, just have a beer in the garage parking lot.

[Ryan]

Beer at your own house.

[Miles]

Oh, my God. Yeah. That's a whole interesting thing. And the funny thing is, is, like. Like, a babysitter's never gonna tell you if it went bad. Do you know what I mean? No. Like, we got home and she was like, oh, my God, it went crazy. I'm like, if it went bad, you wouldn't tell me?

[Jared]

He would have called me by now.

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah. If it went. If it actually went bad, I would. We would have got a text.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

You know, like, he's launching his across the room.

[Tyler]

He's threatening to run away.

[Miles]

Where are the magic erasers? Your toilets are too small.

[Tyler]

You guys got. You guys got moss everywhere.

[Miles]

She says that the kids sprayed the wall with in the bathroom, and you find out that it was just her because the toilets are too small.

[Ryan]

Hey, that would be the move. Blame it on the kid.

[Miles]

Smart.

[Ryan]

Hey, don't you listen to him. He's gonna lie to you and say it was me.

[Jared]

Yeah, bonus points. We have a dog.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

When's your clean cleaning lady coming next? You might want to warn her.

[Miles]

Yeah, so, I mean, yeah, it's like, that's been part of it is like, showing up on top of that. It's like, all right, you know, this babysitter coming, whatever. But then she shows up early, so you don't want to stick around and smoking jokes, and you got to cheese out of there early.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

So I'm all sorts of, you know.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

I also feel like babysitter price has gotten sick pain.

[Ryan]

Yeah. That's why.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Because you don't want to be the. You don't want to be the family who underpays. You can't underpay.

[Miles]

But. And it's like, yeah, I mean that. Like when you say like 20 bucks for an hour, right? You're like, yeah, that seems like a reasonable amount. You're watching my kid. Whatever.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But then you go out with 75 hard over here, and you start smoking and joking, maybe go out for a drink after dinner, and you're gone for six hours. It's like, I just went to two dinners, you know?

[Tyler]

Yeah. And my kid was sleeping for two out of the three hours.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

That's why Ryan does 75 Hardy. Saving money on drinks for the why.

[Tyler]

I probably had about 15 Diet Cokes that night, all hopped up on. I wasn't ready to go home, you know?

[Miles]

Yeah. And then you're like. You're like, jesus. All right, I guess we went to the expensive restaurant even though we went Culver.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Fifteen Diet Cokes at Culver.

[Miles]

My plate went from $20 a plate to $80 a plate.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Be good.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I mean. I mean, you babysit in lucrative business.

[Jared]

They run the economy.

[Tyler]

Yeah, they do.

[Miles]

Is that a. Is that a well known fact?

[Jared]

I heard that a long time ago. It's the babysitter economy. It's like an article.

[Miles]

Oh, really?

[Jared]

They have so much free cash, huh? Yeah.

[Ryan]

I think another good thing to lie about if. Especially if you're a dude, is when someone says, what you thinking about? You just say, nothing. Cuz we don't. We can't explain our outrageous thoughts.

[Miles]

I will do that. So an she'll say, what are you thinking about? And I'll go, nothing. She goes, oh, come on.

[Ryan]

You're.

[Miles]

You're thinking about something.

[Ryan]

Come on.

[Miles]

I could see you're like, your eyes are doing the little fluttery thing, like you're not all here, here.

[Ryan]

It's like.

[Miles]

Then I go, okay, here's what I was thinking about. I was looking at the toilet paper roll, and I started thinking about, you know, how many toilet paper rolls do we have in the pantry? Then I started thinking about that the pantry is a mess and how much in there we got to throw away. And then I started thinking about how much garbage bags costs and just how much everything costs in general. Then I start thinking about the babysitter and how much she cost us. And next thing I know, I'm thinking about, you know, like, we can't go anywhere unless we're gonna spend 150 bucks. So that's what I was thinking about. Was that worth it?

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

So, advice.

[Tyler]

Oh, that. That's not. That doesn't sound very fun. Why'd you ask that?

[Ryan]

Yeah, you. You made me tell you.

[Miles]

Tried to lie to you.

[Ryan]

I was trying to save you that miserable two minutes of me explaining my thought process. So, lady, he's just. If we say nothing, just trust us that it wasn't worth your time.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Doesn't involve you.

[Miles]

I think another not similar vein of just kind of ignorance is bliss. I think a good lie is when someone tells you does a movie reference and you've never seen the movie. And when they ask, hey, you know what I'm talking about, you just say, oh, yeah. And then laugh and go, that was a good one. And then move on.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

It's way better than someone explaining an obscure movie reference.

[Tyler]

I just did that today. FedEx guy came in, made a MLE crew the dirt movie reference. I'm like, I've seen that movie.

[Ryan]

What a pull by him.

[Tyler]

I've seen that movie. Oh, dude, great movie.

[Ryan]

You actually would like it. MGK's in it.

[Tyler]

I know. I've seen the opening scene. And he. Him just. Absolutely.

[Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

So I've seen that movie. Mentally, for conversation, it's just so much.

[Miles]

Easier to just go, oh, yeah, that was great. Yeah, it was good.

[Ryan]

And just hope and pray it's not the person that's going to want to expand.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

And keep talking about the movie.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah.

[Ryan]

What did you think about so I.

[Miles]

Have gotten caught and then being like, you know, they gotta do like that. Yeah, maybe I haven't seen that one.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Or you gotta be like, caught.

[Miles]

Wait, wait, maybe I see a clip on.

[Ryan]

You gotta be like, oh, I haven't seen it in so long.

[Miles]

There you go. Yeah, just flex seal tape. Slap that on there.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

God, it's refreshed my mind. It's been so long. I remember that part.

[Tyler]

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, now. Yeah, now it's coming back to me.

[Miles]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that. That's a good one.

[Ryan]

You just pivot like, oh, have you seen this movie? And then you Say something you've. You've seen.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Another good thing to lie about in. In my mind is pretty much any question that the doctor asks, like, personally, whether that's nic use, alcohol use, like, are you sexually active? It's like, no, I'm not sexually active. My two kids are just sitting here right next to me. You know, I get you gotta ask.

[Ryan]

He could. He might mean, are you sexually active more than twice in the last 18 months.

[Tyler]

That's true. Statue of limitations.

[Jared]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

Well, see, like the sexual active one. I probably would just tell the truth now.

[Ryan]

Like when they ask you that at your high school checkup, I'm lying every time. Time.

[Tyler]

Yeah. What do you think I'm gonna say when I'm doing the duck?

[Miles]

Yeah, but like, what's he gonna. What's he gonna do? Tell your parents he can't hipaa. You know, he might, though.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'm not risking that.

[Tyler]

That's true.

[Ryan]

Are you sexually active? No, sir. I am celibate.

[Tyler]

Do you inhale smoke through your lungs? No, Nope. Just exhaust. When I walk behind my pickup, I.

[Ryan]

Usually try to get one or two.

[Miles]

Or if I, like, am, you know, walking down the road, a guy smoking a dart on the side, and I trip on a crack, stumble, accidentally fall where my lips wrap around his cigarette in his hand. I'm so startled, I suddenly breathe in air and then I exhale smoke. Like that's happened to me before. That's probably the only time.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Like, am I gonna be okay, doc? You think I'll be fine doing that?

[Miles]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You know, a cigarette here and there isn't gonna kill me. Well, in that case, it sounds like you're cool with smoking then. Yeah, I mean, I'm Every weekend.

[Jared]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah. You'd consider that here and there, wouldn't you, doc? Yeah, me too.

[Ryan]

I think another time it's good to lie is when you're at a restaurant and your food is average. Like, if your food's like, you have uncooked chicken, you gotta tell the truth. But if your food is just the most average ever, you tell them it's great.

[Tyler]

You're not gonna say, it's just not worth.

[Ryan]

It's not worth.

[Miles]

I mean, phenomenal to be at a table where someone, when they ask how the food is to say it's not very good and they'd like something else. That is my ultimate nightmare.

[Ryan]

Dude. It makes your skin crawl.

[Miles]

Like, to. If I'm ever in that scenario, that's like an end it all situation, you know?

[Tyler]

Yeah, there's like no way to converse out of that, out of that scenario.

[Miles]

It used to stress me out when my mom would be like, like, like something wasn't cooked through enough and send it back to make him cook it a little longer.

[Ryan]

That would, oh, just like my dad gives honest feedback and I hate it.

[Miles]

Oh, really?

[Ryan]

It's so cringey.

[Tyler]

Give me an example.

[Miles]

Like what? Okay, hold on.

[Ryan]

They'll be like, how's.

[Miles]

Hello, hello. You know, drone guy. How are the first bites?

[Ryan]

Not very good.

[Miles]

Oh, I'm so sorry about that. Can I get you something else?

[Ryan]

No, this will do.

[Miles]

That's it. Oh my God.

[Ryan]

And it just. Every time I've seen him do it, probably three or four times now, it's different. You asked me, hey, sir, how was your first few bites?

[Miles]

Oh, not very good. No, I'm kidding. It's great.

[Ryan]

Much better.

[Tyler]

Or it's a classic. Like they come back and they're like, how was everything? And like your entire plate's gone. You're, you're like, ah, it was okay. And then you look at your plate and be like, yeah, yeah, I crushed that pancakes.

[Miles]

Yeah. It's like. Or just saying that it's gone. It's like it's gone. So you tell me.

[Tyler]

Yeah, right, right.

[Miles]

That is also a pet peeve of mine. You get your food and you haven't taken a bite yet and they go, how is the first bite?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I'd love to tell you in three minutes.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Or you've just like taken a couple bites of the side salad that you got with it.

[Miles]

Like also my patented move. They coming up, they ask you first bites, you take a bite and you go. And then they're like, it sounds like everyone's loving it.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I went to like a, a steak night at a local bar Friday a couple weeks ago and it was one of those where they have a ton of people so they like pre make all the medium rare steaks because everyone's going to get that. And so I got mine and it was ice cold and I didn't say a word.

[Miles]

I would, maybe in that scenario I couldn't do it.

[Ryan]

I couldn't do it.

[Tyler]

Throw it in the microwave.

[Ryan]

I thought about it, but I couldn't do, do it. Like, I'm not sending this back.

[Jared]

Yeah, if meat's involved, I, I would send it back.

[Ryan]

Yeah. It's already like an eight dollar steak.

[Tyler]

I mean if it was cooked, it was just, if it was cooked, it was just cold.

[Ryan]

It was just cold.

[Miles]

Did I ever tell you guys, a story about, my dad bought 20 steaks for $40 in the.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

I don't know if you told on the pod, but you told it.

[Miles]

It was some parking lot. There was, like, a food truck that was selling 20 steaks for $40. And my dad got got. He's like, this is a steal. I mean, let's go. He buys the steaks. He's all excited. He invites us over to have these steaks with him. He cooks them up, and we start eating them. And I had to pull a page out of Tyler's dad's book, and I was like, dad, these steaks are terrible. I don't know if I can finish it.

[Tyler]

And it ain't often guys like us can't finish it.

[Miles]

Yeah. I mean, that's.

[Ryan]

We'll suck it down.

[Miles]

They were that bad, dad. And you could tell he was choking it down and kind of forgot about it. Whatever. And then we were at their house. I don't know if it was last weekend or a couple weekends ago. And he goes, so does anyone at the office have a hunting dog? And I was like, I mean, like, Ryan Scott, hunt dog. I mean, like, Tyler's dog is a hunting dog. Whether he hunts or not. He's like, you think any of them would want any of those steaks to feed their dogs? So that's how you know those steaks are bad. Even my dad gave up on them and wants to feed them to the dogs.

[Ryan]

How long has he had them in his freezer?

[Miles]

I don't know. But, God, that was. I was dying laughing, you know? Be great.

[Tyler]

Is it? Is if. Is if. If we got a couple of those steaks and reported back being like, dude, my dog wouldn't even touch it.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I was like, my. I don't know if my dog's holding out on me or what, but he wouldn't touch it.

[Ryan]

Or it's like they're so rubbery. Like. Yeah. He's been chewing on it for a week.

[Miles]

He thought it was just a silicone dog toy.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Yeah. So that was the one time where him being cheap really bit him in the ass. 40 bucks down the drift. Mean.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

The thing is, you think you're being cheaper by spending, but you spent more money than if you just would have bought some regular steaks.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Jared]

Get what you pay for.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

But, God, that was funny.

[Ryan]

I'm trying to think of what part of the cow is it?

[Miles]

It had to bend The. Had to been the calf something. Yeah, yeah.

[Ryan]

Calf muscle stakes.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Maybe like, the forehead you know, it had to have been something like that cuz they were also razor thin.

[Tyler]

Yeah, calf and forearm likely.

[Miles]

Yeah, it looked like he took a regular steak and took one of those cheese slicers that has the roller on it and you just roll it across and they just made four steaks out of one. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Great business.

[Miles]

It's tough. All right, Jared, you got any fun facts for us?

[Jared]

I have one. The Rubik's Cube has 43. 3 quintillion possible accommodations, but only one correct solution.

[Miles]

Really? What, you're gonna throw that in my face after I still gotta solve the reboot?

[Ryan]

No, he's helping you prep.

[Miles]

No, he's trying to make it seem more daunting to stress me out. I'm not worried. I've seen those kids do them in seven seconds. Even if it takes me 10 times as long, I can do it in 70 seconds. You know, it's like no problem.

[Jared]

See you in the cube.

[Tyler]

That'd be actually be a great matchup would be the fat, like you lay out a phrase to type for the fastest T9 word typer and then match them up against the. The kid who can do the fastest Rubik's Cube say go and see who wins.

[Jared]

Type Rubik's Q.

[Miles]

How.

[Tyler]

I've seen him done like 4.

[Miles]

How long of a head start would you need on the number one Rubik's Cube solver in the world world to beat them?

[Tyler]

A week?

[Jared]

Yeah. Five days?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I was gonna say 24 hours, but you.

[Miles]

Yeah, I mean I'm saying four hours.

[Jared]

You think?

[Miles]

So, like just think if. Because normally you're like, you're around with the Rubik's Cube, you kind of just chatting with people, whatever. If you're locked into a Rubik's Cube for four hours, you guys don't think, get it so solved. I mean my, my brother solved a Rubik's. Cute As a kid.

[Ryan]

Raw. Like no. No assistance.

[Miles]

No, no existence.

[Tyler]

Can you give assist. Like can you get assistance?

[Ryan]

There's a, a pattern that if you just follow the pattern over and over, you'll eventually solve it. Oh, and I've never googled it.

[Miles]

I know. That's why I want a raw dog. I could google this, but at some point I need to do the corner of the room.

[Ryan]

So that's like in the cube.

[Miles]

Just be in the cube. Get my demons out on that cube.

[Ryan]

So that's what those speedsters do. Ry. If you watch those videos, they look at the cube, get their hands right, and then they just do that pattern. Super fast.

[Tyler]

Gotcha. Gotcha.

[Miles]

What was the fact again?

[Jared]

43 Quintilian.

[Miles]

Yeah, it stressed me out.

[Ryan]

That is. But actually, possibilities.

[Miles]

You give me four hours. You know, they always said that. I remember. If it was. I remember. I'll leave you with this, and then we can end the podcast. I remember if it was Abe Lincoln or what. But if you give me five hours to chop down a tree, I'll spend the first four sharpening my ax. And so that's what I plan to do with my four hours. Spend the first three hours sharpening my ax. So that last hour, I can just.

[Ryan]

Chop that Rubik's cube down at some point in Max. Can't get any sharper. It's true, Abe.

[Jared]

Well, make sure I have multiple Rubik's cubes, because you'll probably throw one across the room.

[Miles]

No, I'm a calm, cool, and collected human being.

[Tyler]

We should do that. We should just say. Yeah, we.

[Miles]

We should. That would be funny. No, I don't need multiple groups here. Just me and the cube. Five minutes in, you guys walk in with another cube. How'd you guys know?

[Tyler]

We come in like two hours later, he's butt ass naked in the corner, having just a mental breakdown. Yeah.

[Jared]

Fetal position.

[Tyler]

Solitary confinement for two months.

[Miles]

I think what we should do is on a Friday. Friday at noon. So I should be able to solve it by the time I go home at 5 on Friday. Put me in the corner. We'll put. We'll start the camera. You do it in like 720p, so it's not like a huge file. 400 gigabyte file.

[Ryan]

Shoot in 4k so we can really zoom in on the cube.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

Cheating.

[Jared]

Peel the stickers.

[Miles]

Or like, you do it like. I have a solved one in my pocket, and I just. I'm wearing a sweatshirt, switching sleight of hand, and it's just one turn away, and then I'm like, done. No, there would be no tampering whatsoever.

[Jared]

3 hours, 59 minutes.

[Miles]

So what to. Hey, that'll maybe be the next Patreon after our. After our next announcement.

[Jared]

I like that.

[Miles]

So. All right, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of you Bet Your radio podcast. May your Rubik's cubes be solved, and may that your fabric in your America be intact. Cheers, Ryan.

[Tyler]

Oh, you betcha.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Yeah.

[E]

Miles texting on his way. Thumbs dancing on the screen. Live action on the road, avoiding groceries, seen old toilet seats occupying the yard back home burning CDs like this till 95 alone. Bringing phone to practice. Can't leave it in the back Shadow with the babysitter Making sure the kids don't wag Lying getting fun or ain't a text irritates his peace Lying doctor says he's fine but he's feeling the squeeze Texting troubles in a world so fast living life Extra memories that won't last Always think while we're burning still country roads Teacher lessons against our will Avoiding Niles of bros it's easier to con Old toilet in the yard same place it's always on burning discs One more tune to spin nostalgia in his pocket for the signal begins practice interrupted by the phone in his hand Babysitters reports kids running wild understand rides fundraiser fails all he needs is some rest Doctors lie on the thief but the truth is in his chest tax it Troubles in a world so fast Live a life action Memories that won't last Always fade while we're burning Stick hell cut your ros? Teach you lessons I guess I will cut game stars in a world so fast live a life Backs of memories that won't last Always fade away we're burning still country roads Teach you lessons against all will Texting troubles in a world so fast Living live action memories that won't last Always fading while we're burning still country roads Teaching lessons against.

[Miles]

Our will.

[Jared]

Bartender red flags.

[Miles]

What are some bartender red flags? There's a few ways to approach it. I feel like.

[Ryan]

I mean, for me, it's like kind of the opposite of a normal red flag. Like, the more put together the bartender is, the more concerned I am. I kind of want my bartender to be a little bit rapid ratchet.

[Miles]

That is true.

[Ryan]

You know?

[Miles]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

But I also feel like.

[Miles]

Yeah. Like if they're wearing an apple watch.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I don't want that. I don't want that.

[Miles]

No. I think that's probably a red flag.

[Ryan]

Yeah, for sure. I want mine to still be wearing a concert bracelet that says they're 21 up.

[Miles]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

Not an apple watch.

[Miles]

I think if they have a. A general good attitude demeanor, I think. I don't like that. I mean, so what do you. Because then you're like, well, why are you bartending then?

[Ryan]

You're supposed to.

[Miles]

You have such a great attitude about life, you know, and then not to dig bartending, but I don't know.

[Ryan]

No. Every bartender I worked with when I was bouncing was miserable.

[Miles]

Yeah. They just. They hate. They just hate the world.

[Ryan]

They're good bartenders, though, if they got no.

[Miles]

As they would say in the uk banter.

[Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Miles]

You Can't. There's no rat tat. Tat that naturally, even if you just met them. Kind of a red flag.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah. I'm definitely out on that as well. I see. I'm not a big fan of when.

[Ryan]

If.

[Tyler]

If a bartender asks, like, if they say, what do you want? Versus, like, what are you drinking? I feel like you can take. You can take those. One of that is true.

[Miles]

All right. Welcome to Joe's Bar. What do you want?

[Tyler]

Yeah, I like it.

[Miles]

But if it's also. It's a red flag if when they're talking initially they're not throwing co roasters down. I just instantly trust the bartender more like, what's up, fellas? How we doing? What can I get you to drink?

[Tyler]

I like that.

[Miles]

I like way better than if they're just, you know, standing there. What the other red. Jared, you gotta have a red flag.

[Jared]

They like try to upsell you. Like today we have this hibiscus. Whatever cocktail they open with that.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

If they ask you if you want.

[Ryan]

Any desserts, just opening with the specials, like immediately before they even like if they're rattling off the specials way too fast.

[Jared]

Yeah. Too quick in the introduction. That's a red flag to me. It's like, okay.

[Miles]

But also if they have to read the specials off of something. Not good either.

[Ryan]

They don't. They don't have a memorized.

[Tyler]

Yeah. They're new.

[Jared]

Or if you ask for a simple Drake, they have to get the drink book out. See how they. How to make it.

[Ryan]

It's not necessarily a bartender, but when a server doesn't write down your order. Huge red flag. You're not that confident you're going to remember our whole table.

[Tyler]

You don't like that?

[Ryan]

No.

[Tyler]

See, I think it's pretty. I think it's kind of fascinating when. When they can. If. If they bring the order, they just to your table, like, spot on.

[Miles]

We had a bit about this.

[Ryan]

I think we did. But like, it only happened.

[Tyler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Miles]

Dude. I. We did a ranch wrangler out of ihop. Aptly. Or I rightfully renamed it to iha. I How'd for the International House of Water? Because the whole ceiling had water damage on it. And the waitress comes up to take my order and free balls it at ihop. And I didn't. I say like, you know, the waitress didn't write down my order. I'm a little concerned about that.

[Ryan]

Nothing was right.

[Miles]

Nothing was correct.

[Ryan]

All you got was pancakes that were. And it wasn't even the right amount. If I remember Correctly.

[Miles]

It was. Yeah, it was a disaster.

[Ryan]

Like you're Ryan, you're right. It is fascinating when they get it right, but I feel like that only happens once every 10 times.

[Tyler]

But then if they, but if they get it wrong, it's like, holy.

[Miles]

But it provides me stress because I'm like, now I'm thinking about that. She's gotta remember. He's gotta remember everything that was said. Like you're like, you shouldn't have said that. You want it with no tomatoes. Now that's another thing she's gotta remember. My order now should have said extra tomatoes. Extra tomatoes.

[Ryan]

Like a message to all the servers out there. We don't judge you for writing it down. Just write it down. No one thinks less of you for doing that.

[Miles]

Makes me a little uncomfortable when they don't write it down. And I don't know why.

[Tyler]

I guess. Probably easier to split the tickets up too. Yeah, there's like, say there's four people and like, like people in the corners are together. You know, how do you know how to split the ticket up if you're not writing anything?

[Ryan]

Yeah, I just like don't even see the advantage of your party trick of trying to remember the tables orders.

[Tyler]

Like now I can understand if the like, like the computer monitor where they're putting stuff in is like just a few steps away from where you're ordering at. Then they just hop over the computer, they put it in right away. It's fresh in the mind.

[Miles]

Now I would say if it's you and your wife out for dinner, I, I think you can handle that free balling. Yeah, I'm, I'm on board with that. You start getting to six plus people at a table. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how you do it. Yeah.

[Ryan]

Okay, so I ate at a restaurant in the mall in town. I forget the name of it. Kind of nice. Sort of. But we had 15 people and the dude was like, I'm gonna memorize this and. And like one person got their order right. We didn't get our drinks. Cuz he forgot all of our drinks and had to come back and ask again.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Miles]

That would be funny. If it's like, if they made like a comedy show, kind of like the Office or whatever. Like kind of like the show waiting like about a restaurant. If they did like, like that. There's one character that is stubborn about not writing down and always gets it wrong and never gets a tip.

[Ryan]

Have you guys watched the Bear? I've never watched it, but I think that's kind of the vibe.

[Tyler]

It's a restaurant.

[Ryan]

It's a restaurant.

[Miles]

But isn't it a drama, not a comedy?

[Ryan]

A little bit.

[Miles]

It's both dramedy.

[Tyler]

Yeah, I.

[Miles]

It wins awards and seems like a good show. I've never seen it, though.

[Ryan]

Yeah, I like it, but I think that's the vibe. It's a restaurant staff follows all the people that work there around.

[Miles]

Guys, if you want more, you bet your radio you gotta check out our Patreon. You got to go to patreon.com radio or look us up on the app. And we have hundreds of hours of other episodes on there that you can't get unless you're signed up. So you got to check us out on Patreon. You bet your radio, baby.