You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes — Anna Kendrick (October 16, 2024)

Episode Overview

In this candid and hilarious episode, Pete Holmes welcomes Anna Kendrick, celebrated actor and first-time director, to discuss her new Netflix film Woman of the Hour — a psychological thriller based on the true story of a serial killer who appeared on "The Dating Game". The conversation weaves together movie insights, on-set stories, gender roles, personal vulnerability, and the weirdness of human psychology. Beyond the film, Anna and Pete open up about therapy, relationships, creative confidence, and their mutual appreciation for honesty in art and life.

Main Discussion Points and Insights

1. Woman of the Hour: Creating the Film and Its Themes

• Film Premise: Based on the real-life case of a serial killer on a 1970s game show, starring and directed by Anna Kendrick, with Pete Holmes in a supporting role.
• Genre and Approach: Anna intended to make a psychological thriller with deeper emotional resonance, drawing more from drama than from traditional horror (45:03–45:50).
  • "Deep down, I was like, I'm making a drama. Like, I'm really making something about grief." — Anna (45:03)
• Opening Choice: The movie’s most violent moment happens early; Anna cites No Country for Old Men as inspiration, letting the trauma’s shadow loom rather than explicit violence (03:14–03:43).
• Gender and Power: Discussion about the burden on women to appease "King Babies" — men whose emotional fragility requires women to shrink or "fawn" to survive. The film explores the fawn response and the dangers of women's socialization to avoid conflict (14:42–17:45).
  • “It's almost like the whole movie is kind of an exploration of the fawn response.” — Anna (14:44)
  • “Sometimes women and marginalized people have to kind of shrink and fawn to survive. And it's not as simple as going, just be assertive.” — Anna (17:28)
• Game Show as Metaphor: The killer (Bachelor #3) is the best at the game — most empathetic-seeming, charming — highlighting how sociopaths can win trust by mirroring what others want to see (22:04–24:41).
  • “The bachelor, the third bachelor, the serial killer, is the best at the game... That’s a true nightmare.” — Pete (23:13)

2. On Directing and Creative Confidence

• Anna discusses the performance of confidence versus actually feeling it as a first-time director, and the need to repair relationships with the crew when things go awry (07:38–09:36).
  • “When I would watch the dailies back... I'd kind of see myself run into the frame and, like, give a note... I really did feel like, oh, that lady seems like she knows what she's doing.” — Anna (07:38)
• Pete compares directing to parenting — it's about embracing imperfection and practicing “the repair” (09:56–11:16).
  • “Life is the repair.” — Val, via Pete (10:55)

3. Character Dynamics and Microaggressions

• Pete reflects on his role as Cheryl’s needy, invasive male neighbor — a comic relief that mirrors the broader themes of male entitlement and microaggression (29:25–31:18).
  • “There are all these microcosms of the whole movie... I need you. And look, I'm only talking about me. I'm not talking about all men. And I mean me. Pete Holmes, there is a baby that's like, please see me.” — Pete (30:42)
• Anna notes the film repeatedly asks, “Do you see me as human?” — especially as her character navigates male-dominated, dismissive spaces (36:56–38:04).

4. Victim Blaming and the Socialized Response to Threat

• The film acts as an antidote to victim blaming, showing how even the audience can find themselves drawn in by a killer’s charm (24:07–25:19).
  • “I found themselves starting to root for the killer and then feeling horrible about the fact that they were rooting for him.” — Anna (24:07)

5. Personal Vulnerability, Therapy, and Abuse Recovery

• Anna openly discusses her journey through, and after, an abusive relationship during the pandemic; how living with someone who refused introspection led her to self-help, therapy, and ultimately, to the podcast (54:02–59:19).
  • “I basically realized I was in an abusive relationship... And that kind of started me on... I discovered this podcast because I was sort of really searching for something.” — Anna (54:02)
• Pete and Anna bond over how honest public conversations (especially on podcasts) can be healing for those trapped in cycles of shame or rigidity.
• They discuss the difficulty of escaping abusive dynamics — the importance of recognizing reality, reclaiming identity, and the impossibility of “debate” as a way out (82:14–87:23).
  • “‘The way out of a situation like this is to not. Don't debate...’ My advice… is they'll say, ‘You're gonna regret this.’ And you say, ‘I might.’” — Pete (82:14–83:11)

6. Creativity (Acting and Directing) as Collaboration

• Both talk about the necessity of actors doing “unlikeable” things for the good of the film. Anna praises Daniel Zovatto’s (the killer's) generosity in playing “the guy you hate,” saying it helps the audience invest in the women’s stories (101:13–102:08).
  • “The kind of generosity of an actor to go, well, really, this movie is about every. Every actor that I'm in a scene with. It's more about them than about me.” — Anna (100:59)
• Anna shares that as a performer, she tries to help editors, directors, and crew — “thinking about the edit for years”— and how her ADHD makes her alert to the needs of everyone on set (89:17–91:05).

7. On Validation, Honesty, and the Messiness of Need

• Both admit to the lifelong yearning for external validation (“mommy, did you like it?”) and the danger/necessity of being honest about needing to be “seen” (33:06–34:28).
• Memorable line:
  • “If a woman won’t validate me... I don't exist.” — Pete (31:22)
• Anna’s favorite line from the film:
  • “Did you feel seen?”
    “I felt looked at.” — Cheryl, in Woman of the Hour (68:29)

8. Processing Loss and Performing Through Grief

• Anna describes her father's death happening during production, and Tony Hale’s invaluable advice: “You'll grieve when you’re with your safe people.” (123:40–125:18)
  • “He said, it's okay if until this is over, that just didn't happen. You're not in pathological denial. You're not dishonoring or disrespecting your dad. You'll grieve when you're with your safe people.” — Anna (124:12)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Directing & Confidence

  • “I was trying really hard to seem confident and assured. Well, I don't know. I guess the truth is, I can't be sure at what... When I was kind of performing confidence and when I really had confidence.”
    — Anna (07:38)

• About the Film’s Core Dynamic

  • “Would you wander into your male neighbor's apartment in this way and, like, just start picking up all his stuff while he's on the phone and not, you know, picking up the cue of, like, Terry, I really fucking want you to leave.”
    — Anna (37:39)

• On Escaping Abuse

  • “I think there might be something more complicated. Where it is like, well, he possesses empathy. Like, I don't think it's as simple as saying, oh, bad guys don't have empathy... and then there's a point where you're like, well, are we gonna fuck or not?... and the petulance that comes through... underneath it is really rage.”
    — Anna (38:45–39:51)
  • “Sometimes people say, ‘You'll regret this!’ And you say, ‘I might.’ That takes all the power away.” — Pete (83:11)

• On the Need to Be Seen

  • “The dissonance in every scene for my character is, do you see me as human?” — Anna (37:16)

• On Processing Loss While Working

  • “My dad died. You know, we were shooting. We were at the start of a shooting day, and my brother called me and told me my dad had passed... Tony [Hale] said, ‘You'll grieve when you’re with your safe people.’”
    — Anna (123:40–124:12)

• On Validation and Relationship Dynamics

  • “Of course there's gonna be a part of you going, mommy, did you like it?” — Anna (33:06)
  • “If you were a narcissist, you wouldn't say that.” — Val, via Pete (75:22)

• On Finding Spiritual/Philosophical Relief

  • “If I were them, I'd be them... and if you were you, you'd be you, too. We can extend the compassion to your judgment.” — Anna & Pete (112:59–113:04)

• On Working with Meryl Streep

  • "[Meryl] starts talking about acting. And I'm like, oh, it's happening, it's happening. Don't move... and she says, but, you know, the close up, I mean, that's really where it happens. That's where you take your truth. That's where— and this PA comes in and goes, ‘Meryl, ...there's Manuka honey in the break room..."
    — Anna (132:40–134:36)

• On Clooney’s Generosity

  • “He goes, do you ever get insecure? I always feel like, oh, God, do they even— they hire me? But do they really want me? Ugh, I feel so insecure. And I was like, clune, oh, my God. Yeah...”
    — Anna (137:35–138:19)
    (She later realizes this was Clooney's way of helping her acclimate on her first day.)

• The "Cheeseburger" as a Directing Lesson

  • “We’re gonna do more fucking takes of me walking around this cheeseburger than we are of my close up when I'm, like, doing... the heart moment for my character. And he was absolutely fucking right.”
    — Anna on Ben Affleck, “The Accountant” (151:40–152:33)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro and Movie Talk: 02:00–07:23
• Directing, Confidence, and Repair: 07:23–12:00
• Film’s Feminist Themes: 12:00–25:41
• On Validation and Microaggressions: 31:18–38:04
• Character/Plot Connections and Spoilers: 38:04–46:03
• Personal Vulnerability, Therapy, Abuse: 54:02–63:37, 83:31–87:23
• Loss, Grieving, and Working: 123:40–126:39
• Lighthearted/Behind the Scenes (Meryl Streep, Clooney, Cheeseburgers): 132:01–153:37

Tone and Language

The episode is warm, funny, and brutally honest, mixing intellectual musings with self-deprecating humor and supportive mutual compliments. Both Anna and Pete toggle between deeply philosophical reflection and comic riffs, maintaining a conversational and authentically “weird” vibe throughout.

For New Listeners

If you haven’t heard the episode, you can expect a rare, emotionally open Hollywood interview, offering insights not just about filmmaking and acting, but about the inner workings of therapy, boundary-setting, gendered socialization — and how art, honesty, and a little weirdness can help us all get through life.

Memorable Sign-off

Pete: “Would you please say, 'keep it crispy'?”
Anna: “Keep it crispy. Imagine if I was like... Wait, what? I am such a fan of the product.” (154:50–154:53)

TL;DR: Episode Essence

Anna Kendrick and Pete Holmes dive deep into the creative, emotional, and psychological themes behind Woman of the Hour, sharing personal stories of vulnerability, resilience, and honesty—on screen and in life. The episode is a masterclass in being “seen” and in finding humor in the weirdness of being human.