Blair Carlyle (Uncle Pappy)

Summary

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You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Guest: Blair Carlisle (Uncle Pappy)

Date: January 21, 2026
Theme: The Philosophy, Weirdness, & Reveal Behind Uncle Pappy: How a Young Improviser Created Social Media’s Favorite Old Man Sage

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Episode Overview

This episode is a delightful deep dive into the story of "Uncle Pappy"—the sunshiny, mustachioed, shirtless old man from social media who dispenses daily wisdom and positivity and is, in reality, 30-year-old improviser Blair Carlisle. Pete and Blair discuss anxiety, wisdom, addiction, creation of persona, forgiveness, suffering, and why growing up doesn’t have to mean losing your “weird.” The episode also marks Blair’s first in-depth public reveal as the person behind Uncle Pappy, exploring themes of authenticity, generational wisdom, and the secret weirdness in everyone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Blair’s Journey: From Snapchat Filter to Social Media Phenomenon

• Origin of Uncle Pappy ([86:00-89:10])
  • Uncle Pappy started as Blair playing with an old man Snapchat filter, making silly videos for friends:
    • "This is gonna be very underwhelming and disappointing. Probably. Like the meaning of life… Pappy is just a Snapchat filter." (86:05, Blair)
  • Friends urged him to post daily; within a few videos, one went viral.
  • Early Pappy: a comedic, somewhat satirical “Florida man” with big energy and a patriotic (even anti-English) persona.
  • After a Ben Shapiro reaction video, Blair re-examined the character's impact:
    • "Ben Shapiro, who I’m not a big fan of ... was just giggling at my video... It was the first time I had to grapple that people were watching me.” (90:02, Blair)
  • This reflection prompted a shift away from satire/negativity towards the wholesome, philosophical Pappy known today:
    • "Even comedic negativity is still negativity." (91:30, Blair)

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2. The Philosophy of Uncle Pappy: Avatars, Inner Wisdom, and Suffering

• Pappy as Higher Self/Ego Work ([08:32-10:53])

  • Blair describes Pappy as his “best friend”—and the avatar for the best, gentlest version of himself:
    • “He’s become my best friend almost... If I’m the person I want to be, it’s that guy.” (08:38, Blair)
    • “Make your higher power the best version of you.” (10:26, Blair)
  • Pete draws lines between therapy, higher self, spiritual "avatars":
    • “A lot of inner work involves conjuring ... your higher self. That’s been the standard for therapy for decades.” (08:51, Pete)

• Real Wisdom Isn’t Age—It’s Suffering & Reflection ([57:59-58:45], [108:47-109:27])

  • Blair, who’s dealt with depression since age 13, emphasizes that suffering is often the price of real growth and empathy:
    • “Pain is the price of wisdom ... you have to suffer for most forms of wisdom.” (58:12, Blair)
    • “There’s a lot of old people who aren’t wise ... And there’s a lot of young people who are ten times wiser than any old person I’ve known.” (109:01, Blair)

• Creating and Maintaining Wholesome Internet Spaces

  • Blair intentionally rerouted Pappy’s persona from patriotic antagonism to positivity after realizing satire, even when ironic, perpetuated negativity online:
    • “I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to make people feel bad. Even comedic negativity is still negativity.” (91:30, Blair)
  • Pete relates to the sense of responsibility:
    • "It's your persona, but it's still hard to be like that all the day, all the live long day." (91:34, Pete)

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3. Anxiety, Performance Jitters, and Using Humor (and Characters) to Cope

• Pre-Show Anxiety & “Coyote Mode” ([05:24-07:41])
  • Both discuss pre-performance nerves and use the metaphor of "coyote mode"—body vigilant for danger even without real threat.
    • Pete: "The body doesn’t listen... the brain says, we got this, and the body goes, I don’t know." (07:12)
    • Blair: "It’s like, evolutionarily, your body’s like, a predator might come get us right now. And it's like, no, I’m just gonna go on a podcast; a tiger isn’t gonna kill me right now." (07:41)
  • Watching Uncle Pappy helps both Blair and Pete "lighten up" and reframe stress.

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4. Addiction, Alcohol, and Reclaiming Joy (without Substances)

• Blair’s Sobriety Story ([10:00-46:41])

  • Quit drinking after seven years of functional, nightly drunkenness; shares details of addiction, withdrawal, and the allure of escapism:
    • “First time I ever got drunk … I looked in the mirror and said, 'Don’t ever not feel like this.'” (39:53, Blair)
  • Alcohol’s marketing lies: equating “ritual” or relaxation to substances. Pete:
    • "They somehow co-opted just the idea you might be sitting enjoying a moment." (37:41)
  • Recovery wisdom: “Life isn’t broccoli. ... Life is dessert, too.” (40:41, Blair)
  • Why moderate drinking never made sense: "If there’s something that makes you feel a way you like, then drink all of it." (48:13, Pete)

• Transition to Content with Purpose

  • Sobriety, therapy, philosophy journaling, and a desire to inject something positive into the world led to Uncle Pappy’s shift:
    • "I remember thinking, this will probably make me lose followers … but I just started talking about the stuff that I journal about." (93:03, Blair)

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5. Grace, Forgiveness, and Dealing with Irritating People (and Ourselves)

• Forgiving Reality, People, and Ourselves ([21:03-23:46], [24:32-25:38])
  • Borrowing from David Foster Wallace, Richard Rohr, and Buddhist parables, Pete and Blair discuss "forgiving reality"—not just forgiving people, but forgiving that things are as they are:
    • Pete: “Richard Rohr calls it ‘forgiving reality’ ... the first forgiveness is to forgive reality.” (22:01)
  • Blair: “It reminds me of the Buddhist story … he yells at the other boat, and the fog clears, and the boat’s empty. Why does it matter if the boat is empty?” (23:04)
• “It's Just Your Turn” ([18:05-19:32])
  • Emphasizing empathy and perspective—they recount teaching kids to have grace ("I've made that same mistake") and use the metaphor of annoying people as "better tennis players" who help us grow.

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6. Mortality, High School Reunions, and the Common Human Experience

• Death, Humility, and Growing Up ([25:09-28:36])

  • High school reunions as microcosms of spiritual reunification—everyone, regardless of role, softens and says, “We were just trying our best.”
    • "It reminded me so much of, man, after we all die, we're all gonna be ... ‘I took stuff really seriously back then…’" (25:22, Blair)
  • Life is suffering, but suffering can create wisdom, connection, humility.

• On Death as Returning to Wholeness ([71:15-72:10])

  • "I think about death kind of like a lizard... death is the person trying to catch it and put it back outside ... The lizard doesn’t understand, and that’s how I kind of feel. We run from death... death’s like you’re not supposed to feel separate from everything." (71:15, Blair)

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7. Uncle Pappy’s Ethos: Youthful Wisdom, Environmentalism, and Owning the Weird

• Being Young, Wise, and Purposeful ([108:47-111:55])
  • Blair hopes the Uncle Pappy reveal gives young adults permission to own their wisdom:
    • “People, young people, are worth listening to ... this is your world. Everybody’s faking it. Even the old people." (108:47, Blair)
• Environmental Advocacy and the Next Chapter ([104:24-105:44])
  • Blair’s “real” life as a law student and environmental advocate is feeding upcoming work—partnering with organizations to promote unity around protecting nature.
• Authenticity and the Courage to Try ([96:10-99:16])
  • Pete and Blair riff on cultural embarrassment about “trying”—whether making videos or living enthusiastically.
    • "Why is it embarrassing to try? Fail faster. Get some fails under your belt." (96:33, Pete)
    • "Why is it more embarrassing to be sharp than flat?" (97:18, Blair)

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8. The Reveal: Blair is Uncle Pappy

• How Will Fans React? ([123:21-124:04])
  • Pete and Blair are optimistic that fans will accept the character as a mask/vehicle for joy rather than a deception:
    • "If I got a cameo from you and I knew it was you doing Pee Wee or Batman, I'd be fine. Nobody thinks you're Batman." (123:49, Pete)
    • "It does put people off, then I understand that too. But I'm still gonna make Pappy videos … He’s my best friend. I love hanging out with him." (124:04, Blair)

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9. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Higher Selves
  • "There's a version of you, even if you are tripping up … that knows what you want. Lean on that." (09:43, Pete)
• On Forgiveness
  • "The first forgiveness is to forgive reality." (22:01, Pete)
• On Suffering and Wisdom
  • "Pain is the price of wisdom." (58:12, Blair)
• On Growing Older
  • "The older you get, the less free will you have. That window is getting smaller." (110:34, Blair)
• On Trying and Failure
  • "Fail faster. Get some fails under your belt. We need to normalize trying and having fun and being excited." (96:33, Pete / 96:44, Blair)
• On Coming Out as Pappy
  • "I want to hammer home … that young people are worth listening to too." (108:47, Blair)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

-00:00 – 05:00: Intro, tour dates, Uncle Pappy’s background -05:00 – 10:50: Anxiety, performance nerves, coyote mode, using comedy/self-skewering to cope -11:00 – 23:46: Spiritual avatars, philosophical influences, higher self, forgiveness, David Foster Wallace’s “default setting” -24:00 – 35:00: Vulnerability, death, high school reunions, humility, human interconnectedness -39:53 – 47:03: Blair’s addiction story, alcoholism as chasing joy/relief, functionality vs. denial -86:00 – 107:42: Deep dive on the creation and evolution of Uncle Pappy, the social media character, and using a platform for good -108:47 – 111:07: Age, wisdom, generational imposter syndrome, why young voices matter -123:21 – 124:04: Handling the reveal, authenticity, and faith in the Pappy audience

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Key Memorable Moments

• [13:36] "I have a very vivid memory being on a family vacation in high school and thinking I have to figure out how to be on You Made It Weird before Pete Holmes stops doing it.” — Blair on his “manifestation”
• [22:01] "Richard Rohr calls it ‘the first forgiveness is to forgive reality’ and I was like, that goes past my brain and to my heart." — Pete
• [39:53] “First time I ever got drunk … I looked in the mirror and said, 'Don’t ever not feel like this.'” — Blair
• [91:34] “Even comedic negativity is still negativity.” — Blair, on transforming Uncle Pappy’s content
• [123:37] "If I got a cameo from you and I knew it was you doing Peewee or Batman, I'd be fine. Nobody thinks you're Batman." — Pete

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The “Weirdest” and Funniest Moments

• [87:10] “I’d make Snapchats being like…I’m gonna eat this manatee. Like, being like a crazy Florida man.”
• [46:07] “If you say ‘izzle’ three times in a mirror, Snoop shows up. You’ll smell him first... It’s a weed joke.”
• [133:29] Choir horror story: “There’s eight of us and it sounds so, so bad…” (leading to uncontrollable laughter on stage)

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Closing Notes

Blair’s reframe of his now-famous character is a perfect Weirdism—a young person embodying the sage, dispensing sometimes silly, always sincere wisdom in a shirtless, lagoon-floating avatar. Pete’s generous, philosophical approach gives both the “reveal” and the wisdom shared real weight. This is an episode that celebrates secret weirdness, personal transformation, and the joy of “failing faster,” learning, and making something genuine—even if it starts as a Snapchat joke.

Final sign-off (in classic Weird fashion):
Blair (as Pappy): “Hey there, man ... even when life gets down and you’re in your job time, keep it crispy, people. Keep it crispy!” ([134:21])

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For Further Listening

• See show notes for Blair/Uncle Pappy’s platforms and Pete’s tour dates at PeteHolmes.com
• Featured wisdom: Richard Rohr, David Foster Wallace, Mr. Rogers, Ramana Maharshi

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Summary prepared for those who want the deep weird, the hidden wisdom, and the uplift of both Pappy and Pete—without any sponsored sizzle.

Transcript

[Pete Holmes]

Lemonade. You made It Weird with Pete Holmes. What's happening, weirdos? This is Blair Carlisle. Who's. Who's Blair Carlisle, you say? Well, this is kind of a scoop. Blair Carlisle is Uncle Pappy, who I love. He is a dose, a daily dose of sunshine. On social media. He is the shirtless old man in glasses with the mustache who's usually floating in a lagoon and tells us all to have a great day or look at the positive. Like wisdom. Real. I made it sound trite. I can't quite do it, but he does it and he does it brilliantly. And Blair reached out to me and he's like, you're not going to believe this, but I'm 30 years old and I'm an improviser and a real person who made this character a little bit like Pee Wee Herman. And I started posting it. He'll tell you the whole story here. That's why you're here. The story of Uncle Pappy. The story of Blair Carlisle. I'm glad you're here. If you don't follow Uncle Pappy on Social, if you follow Blair, do it. It's a dose of sunshine and we need that. And I'm so glad that he took the time to come in and make it weird. It's a delight. I'm so glad y'.

[Blair Carlisle]

All.

[Pete Holmes]

Y' all are here. So thank you for joining us. Not too much to plug, as I always say, on my end, I am going to be. Well, let's see, this comes out next week, so that means North Carolina. Well, actually, January 21st, I'm in Largo. I'm at Largo in Los Angeles, North Carolina, South Carolina, Miami, Michigan, Irving, Texas, Madison, Wisconsin, Denver, Colorado. Those are my tour dates. They're all on PeteHomes.com and regardless of when you hear this episode, my tour dates are always on peteholmes.com so I hope to see you out on the road. And thank you to everybody who's been coming out. The shows have been awesome. In the meantime, enjoy my chat with the incredible Blair. Uncle Pappy Carlisle. Get into it. You Made It Weird is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you out when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

[Blair Carlisle]

Hey there, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus. I'm back with a new season of Wiser Than Me, the show where I sit down with remarkable older women and soak up their stories, their humor, and their hard earned wisdom. Every conversation leaves me a little smarter and definitely more inspired. And yes, I'm still calling my 91 year old mom Judy to get her take on it all. Wiser Than Me from Lemonade Media. Premieres November 12th. Wherever you get your podcasts, I was hoping for some magic minds.

[Pete Holmes]

Here it is. There it is. I already had mine. I just took it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Wow. This is wild. This is awesome.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm glad you're here, man. I really am. Have your shot.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm very happy to be here.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm glad I watched it. I think I mentioned this all the time, but there was an interview that Charlie Rhodes did with David Letterman. In the whole interview, David Letterman's trying to light a cigar.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it really bugs me. I'm like, just let him. So please have your drink.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah, this is my cigar.

[Pete Holmes]

That's your cigar?

[Blair Carlisle]

This is my cigar.

[Pete Holmes]

It is. It is. So here you are, man.

[Blair Carlisle]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

What's funny is like the episode will be called Uncle Pappy, right? I mean, we'll say Uncle Pappy. Makes it weird. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

It could be like Blair parentheses Uncle Pa. Uncle Pappy Parentheses Blair either, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

What's your last name?

[Blair Carlisle]

Carlisle.

[Pete Holmes]

Carlisle. I didn't even know that. Not that I would. I mean, why would I? I know you as Uncle Pappy.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And here you are, Blair, a real person.

[Blair Carlisle]

I know, it's weird. I forget I'm real. I forget I'm a real person too.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, how do you feel today? Before we get into the whole start of it, we don't need to jump in. It's. It's not a job. I feel like you. You have this effect on me and a lot of people.

[Blair Carlisle]

Mm.

[Pete Holmes]

Like watching your stuff, obviously. And just again this morning to just prepare in a light way. What are we. What are we so stressed about? You know, we are just kind of in a lagoon.

[Blair Carlisle]

We're in a lagoon. I mean, it's true. It's so funny you say that because honestly, I was watching Uncle Pappy videos this morning to not be stressed because I'm. I was like, not that I'm stressed, like.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I know you mean tense.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm a little alert. Alert, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Tell me you use your word. Don't use my word. I say Tense. That's how I feel when I'm about to do something.

[Blair Carlisle]

I know if it's tense. It's kind of like, I've, like, been in bands my whole life and done shows and improv and stuff, and it's always like, beforehand. Even when you know it's gonna be good. Yeah, you're just like, beforehand. You're like, it doesn't matter how much you convince yourself it's gonna be fine. And when you step on stage, it is fine. Yeah. But the lead up, you're like, oh, God, this is crazy. And like, I was telling you, I have, like, the most vivid memory of being on a family vacation in high school and listening to, like, listening to. You made it weird. And thinking I have to figure out how to be on.

[Pete Holmes]

You made it weird. Oh, wow.

[Blair Carlisle]

Before Pete Holmes stops doing this.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow.

[Blair Carlisle]

And, like, it's always been, like, my fear, like, you would ever announce that you didn't do it. And now I think that's why I'm nervous, too, because I wake up, like, going to bed last night. I'm like, wow, I can't. I can't. Like, you know, it's one of those.

[Pete Holmes]

That's so sweet.

[Blair Carlisle]

One of those weird moments in life.

[Pete Holmes]

Where you're just like, wow, I know what you mean. I know what you mean. And I really want to say how hard I relate to what you just said, because I was in San Francisco this weekend, and that's a very friendly city for me. It always has been. I've been going there for 15 years and, like, as a headliner, just loving it. And still the Saturday. So I had already done three shows, and then Saturday's the last two. Saturday, I couldn't do anything. I was just sitting. I always joke with my comic friends. I'm like, you just sit in the room like a cop, like you're on a stake.

[Blair Carlisle]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

I tried to watch a movie, and there's nothing rational about it, meaning I had already done the show three times. It works. It's not like I would understand nerves if I was like, oh, it's a new hour. I don't know if this is gonna work. What order am I gonna go in? What's the room like? What's the city like? What's the. I know all of those things still. The body doesn't listen.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The brain says, we got this, and the body goes, I don't know. I think we should be kind of like. Like, hurt your shoulders a little bit. We're gonna up your sleep a little. Bit. We're gonna make it so you can't focus on one battle after another. I had already seen it, but I'm watching it. I'm like, I know this movie is amazing. And I'm like drifting off, just thinking about like every once in a while writing down a little note. But it's not really productive. It's just like hyper, hyper vigilant. We call it coyote mode. Yeah, you might be in coyote mode.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, exactly. It's like your body, it's like evolutionarily, your body's like a predator might come and get us right now.

[Pete Holmes]

That's exactly what it is.

[Blair Carlisle]

And it's like, no, I'm just gonna go on a podcast and a tiger isn't gonna kill me right now.

[Pete Holmes]

Maybe I'm super papped out right now. That's what the fans say. I might be super papped out, but I'm just sort of like all suffering comes from some sort of imagine. It's all made by thought. It's like, oh, maybe this will go badly and then maybe people will of me or think less of. I'm speaking as you and myself. Like, they'll think less of us. It'll be bad. They'll know I'm a fraud. All of this is just sort of like a self tortured. None of it is real. What I'm saying is like Pappy helps me remember to lighten up. And that's helpful to remember as we're doing this. Did any of that make sense?

[Blair Carlisle]

It makes perfect sense.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

He helps me remember to lighten up too. Like, you know, he. I don't know, he's become like my best friend almost.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Blair Carlisle]

Where? He's just my, like, it's like in my life, I'm like, if everything goes right, if everything. If I'm the person that I just really want to be. It's that guy.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And so then he's kind of like the version of me you can like. I can like ask for advice.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. You know, I don't find that to be strange at all. I relate really hard to that. I think a lot of people, when they do things, therapy or to be a little bit stranger, maybe hypnosis, therapy. Hypnotherapy. Welcome to la, Blair. Welcome. I'm just saying, like a lot of inner work stuff involves conjuring meaning. You're making it up, materializing in your mind the image of some sort of higher self. And that's been the standard of therapy for decades. And it's like for a reason. You think of this avatar or this, like, symbol who is you but is, like, what you want to be. And for some reason, that's more useful than just thinking of, you know, a sports hero or, like a superhero like Batman or something like that. I find it better to think of a version of myself that's talking to me.

[Blair Carlisle]

Well, it's kind of like what I think. Like, you said. Well, like, I think I got this from you. And you said, like, if it's mentionable, it's manageable.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. That's Mr. Rogers. But, yes, I do.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes, yes. And like, this kind of the mentionable version of yourself where you're like, if you think of all these esoteric things, you can think of, like, a million reasons why you're not like Batman.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

But, like, yes, you can kind of. I think it also started. I don't drink.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And, like, I have February 1st will be six years.

[Pete Holmes]

Nice.

[Blair Carlisle]

And one of the things, too, with, like, the higher power, is I've talked to, like, a lot of different people who are kind of turned off from. Well, I also don't go to AA or anything, but, like, just from, you know, the 12 steps are different things about the higher power. And a lot of, like, atheists or people get turned off from the higher power.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I'm like, just make your higher power the best version of you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, that should be the person that you're like, go to for advice. Be like, you know, they always say, like, do as I say, not as I do. And I'm like, well, you could be that for yourself, too.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And that's kind of pappy how kind of became that for me, you mean?

[Pete Holmes]

There's a version of you, even if you are tripping up in your own life, there's a version that knows what you want and lean on that. That's what you mean, like, what I say as opposed to where you are?

[Blair Carlisle]

Because, like, you. Most people, like, you know how we say people? Like, it's so hard to know what the right thing to do is all the time. Like, you have a lot of hard decisions in life and stuff, and it's like 99%. You know what the right thing to do is.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's like the hard part is, like, either doing it or convincing yourself to not do the right thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Right, Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know, and so, like, we all have, you know, the, like, witness who's in the back, your mind going, like, dude, you don't. Like, this is not good.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

And so it is kind of just Like, I think everybody has the capacity to have that voice in their head.

[Pete Holmes]

And you do know it. And you know it, you know where. Where it reveals itself is like, for me, it's like, what is making you cry? And I don't just mean, like, sad tears. I mean, like, if you watch a movie and you're like, you're really stirred by something and you're. And you're tearing up, it's like, that's your compass that knows, oh, maybe I'm not in the right relationship. Maybe I don't have the right friends. Maybe I'm not pursuing the right thing creatively or professionally or whatever it is. And you might not know, because no shade I've been in times like this in my life. Maybe the people around you aren't really helping you wake up to that highest self, but the things that make you emotional, that's that, like, cloy. That's that thing pulling you towards it, right?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There's like a gravitational pull to your higher self. And you know it when you start feeling, like, intense emotion.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. It's almost like the emotional version of, like, deja vu. Almost exactly like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like a, like, primal part of your brain is like, hey, pay attention to this.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know, like, there's like a little thread.

[Pete Holmes]

That's why you go, like, why did that mean so much to me? I think about that when I. In my own therapy, my favorite movie is There Will Be Blood. And. And my friend. You kind of look like him right now.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Just a little bit.

[Blair Carlisle]

This is my son, hw.

[Pete Holmes]

It's very sing songy. My son in business partner, HW Plainview. Yes. That movie. I loved it when I. When it came out. I was probably 33 when it came out. I'm 46. I'm still unpacking. Why I love it so much. And, like, I'm looking back and going like, oh, he has this weird thing with his brother. And my brother and I are very close now, literally my physical brother. But, like, growing up as a kid, I kind of felt like I had to beat him. And that's what he does in the movie. No spoiler. It's been like 20 years. But I'm just like, why? When I was watching that movie, there are all these parts, all these really dark things, including murdering his brother, that, like, meant something to me, and I didn't even have a clue as to why. And you, like, stick with it and they start opening up. That's that deja vu. I don't Know why I love this movie but the symbols in it speak to me and they're like little invitations to kind of unpack yourself.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If that makes sense.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, it makes perfect sense. I feel like it's very similar about emotions just in general.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Blair Carlisle]

Cuz like if someone makes you like someone cuts you off in traffic, it's so simple. And you get that like burst of energy or burst of anger.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And it's kind of like people just drop it at that. And I'm like, you don't want to explore that. Like emotions are actually just like a. I think it's like a thread into the labyrinth of your brain.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And most people don't see that, but I'm like, why did that make you mad?

[Pete Holmes]

It's like a rope ladder through the clouds. You grab it and climb up and.

[Blair Carlisle]

You could go and you can explore and then you can figure out how to not have that flash of anger happen. Because you're like a lot of your like mental pathways are formed back before you actually know how the world is supposed to work.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

So like I'm always like the like quick to anger like on ramp that I like built in my head when I was like in high school and I didn't understand how the world was. But that's just the path that like the thoughts walked down. So it became like a well worn path that makes.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like easy. Like it's easy for thoughts to go down a well worn path. And then you go like did I made this? Like when I couldn't drive.

[Pete Holmes]

I think about this.

[Blair Carlisle]

I didn't like, I like didn't know what actual love was. Or like romantic. Like there's so many different things where like my relationship with jealousy, relationship with anger. All these things are like holdovers from a time before you actually knew what the real world.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. You made a whole. It's like a labyrinth. We're mixing metaphors in. The water goes down just the easiest.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I always use the example when I'm at the airport and I'll see somebody, I'll just have some really harsh judgment about them. It's not like a. It doesn't overwhelm me. It's not like a loud thought. But I'll just be like, it's hard to come up with an example that's just not so mean. So I'll just see somebody and I'll. Let's say I think their clothes are ugly. Like that is not a real one. I would typically be much Meaner. But I notice it's completely reflexive. And just going back to what you're saying. It's a program that I installed when I was, like, 9, 10 years old, living in Boston in the 80s. Like, why am I still running this program? And your brain is very. You could say in the positive. You could say it's very pragmatic. Just kind of wants to do what works. I gotta think something. I'm just gonna think nasty. Like, judgment is very easy. And then it does take a little bit. And this is what Uncle Pappy seems to be into, is like, couldn't we just nudge it? You use that example, somebody cuts you off. Well, I hope they're on a grand adventure. Like when my wife and I were driving from this house to the hospital to give birth. I'm sure I was driving kind of, you know, safe, but nuts. You never think that. You never think they might be on their way to the hospital to deliver their first baby.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You just think, what a piece of shit.

[Blair Carlisle]

Right? Yes. And I always, like. One of my favorite things is, like, the David Foster Wallace.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yep. This is what you.

[Blair Carlisle]

And he always, like. He gives the example of, like, you know, like, the guy who cuts you off in traffic might be, like, rushing his son to the hospital.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

But then I kind of like taking. I'm like, well, it doesn't have to be a tragedy that the person who cut you off is going through.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, there could be, like, you know, stressed on their way to the first date. And they, like, spent way too long trying to pick out a shirt. And like, now he's like, maybe having about to have the best night of their life. And it's okay for him to cut me off then, too, right? It's not okay. But I don't, like, let it ruin my night.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, you know, it's funny. As my daughter. My daughter's seven and, you know, she's experimenting with things like, I hate this. Like, we almost. I think maybe I said this already, but it bears repeating. We were crossing the street. It was dark and it was rainy. And a car started to take a left right in front of us. So I yelled like, hey. Because I needed them to see us. It was like a dark road. Not. Well, anyway, that was the right thing to do. I didn't regret yelling, although it was funny. Leela was like, why did you yell? And I was like, because they didn't see us. And then Leela goes, but you yelled after they had already finished the turn. And I was like, you're right. I wanted them to know that they made a mistake. Like, so that is part of culture is like going like, you fucked up to me and I want you to know, like, we want accountability. But then you go, like, what's so funny about. She's like, I hate that person. She said she was just trying to formulate, like, I don't like what that person did. I don't like what happened. That was scary. And what I said was, and this seems pretty Uncle Pep, if I may compliment myself. I was like, we have to be careful how we talk to the world because it's how we talk to ourselves.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I know that sounds so obvious, but if you want to be forgiven or included. So, like, what I started saying to her, I was like, baby, I've made lefts on dark rainy nights and then seen a father and daughter crossing the street. Like, I've done almost exactly that. And it's almost like it's your turn to be on the crosswalk and it's your turn to be in the car. But like, when it's your turn to be on the crosswalk, so in the right, it's your turn to have some grace, have some mercy about it. I'm not saying don't yell, but like, we can not hate them because I'm 46. I know I've done that exact goofy move so many times. So it was just my turn. Does that make sense?

[Blair Carlisle]

No. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no. It's just my turn to be in the right. And another time I'll be the one that didn't see the person in the crosswalk and they yell at me 100%.

[Blair Carlisle]

It is. Yeah, it's. Oh, yeah, no worries. It's like, I kind of view it like how they say, and if you're like playing tennis, in order to get good at tennis, you have to play with someone who's better than you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I feel like everyone who annoys you in your day to day life who cuts you off, is like the better tennis player teaching you how to be better at life.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know, I mean, it's kind of like like the dude of the grocery store who just like gets in front of you in line. I'm like, you're actually like training. Like, this is like my workout. This is my exercise right now.

[Pete Holmes]

That's the little resistance.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's a little bit of resistance.

[Pete Holmes]

You're so right. What a nightmare it would be if you woke up and everybody like, my mind, let me back up. My mind thinks it wants everyone to act like me. Like, just be like me. Do my things. But what a nightmare. If I woke up and everyone was just doing things how I like them done, nothing would ever grow expand. Nothing would ever rip and heal stronger.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

You need that guy. It's really easy to remember now. But, like, it's. It. The art of it is to, like. You actually mentioned a really good one. I hate when people deplane and the guy in the row behind you tries to go in front of you. I don't know why. I. I do know why. I'm just like. Something about an airplane. This is where we follow rules. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's supposed to be that. That. That. It's not about me being a better row than you. It's like, we're all leaving the plane. Unless they're making a connection or something, then please go. But, like, I can tell by your stupid sunglasses you just want to go.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Yeah. There's the entitlement.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

But then it's kind. I mean, but those.

[Pete Holmes]

It is a tennis player.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's the tennis player. Because it's the best ones. The best opponents are the ones where it's just purely entitlement. And like. Like, you know, like, the ones where you can't make a justification in your mind are the best opponents.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Because then you can't even. You just have to go. It's just this weird bad thing.

[Blair Carlisle]

You have to grace just for the sake of grace.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know, you can't, like, do math to figure out why they're deserving of.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is actually forgiveness. I'm glad you said that, because the David Foster Wallace, which I also like, he uses the example of getting cut off by an SUV, and you're like another guy in an SUV. Remember in the 90s, we hated SUVs because they were gas guzzlers. Now I feel like every other car is an suv, but who cares? I'm just saying, you see an suv, and that would make him mad. And then he would go, but for all I know, that person was in a bad car accident and their therapist told them to drive an SUV so they would feel safe. That's fine. And I think David Foster Wallace would agree with this. He's brilliant. There's nothing I'm going to say that he wouldn't know. I like that. But I do feel like that's a lower frequency of like. Like you just said math.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. You're doing math to figure out why you should give them the benefit of the doubt.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. Instead of in. Instead of just allowing what is to be forgiving reality.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what Richard Rohr calls it. He says the first forgiveness is to forgive reality. And I was like, that goes past my brain and goes to my heart. And I can just go, this happens. I don't need to know why. You could even use religious language and be like, do I know better than what is. Like, should I be in charge? Sometimes people are dicks. And I can forgive reality for being somewhat nasty.

[Blair Carlisle]

I like forgiving reality. I mean, it's also kind of like faith, like, the nature of faith. When people, like, evidence defeats the purpose of faith.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

Become the opposite. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And so it's kind of like. Like, the whole reason for, like, any type of faith is like, I'm doing this because there isn't evidence.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

And that's the strength in it.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

And it's kind of the same thing with, like, just grace or forgiveness with just a stranger. Like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Where, like I said, like, go, like, doing the math. It's also, you're. Wait, what did you just say? I'm trying to think. You just said something about.

[Pete Holmes]

Not forgiving reality.

[Blair Carlisle]

Forgiving reality. Well, it made me. I remember what it made me think of, and then maybe I'll remember what you guys said. But it kind of reminds me of, like, you know, the Buddhist story of, like, the. The guy in the boat in the foggy pond, and he, like, runs into.

[Pete Holmes]

A boat, and he yells at him.

[Blair Carlisle]

And he yells at the boat, and then the fog clears, and then the boat's empty.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And there's nobody in the other.

[Blair Carlisle]

And there's nobody in their boat. And then I kind of go, like, why does it make a difference if the boat is empty?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Isn't, like, couldn't the story be the same even if there is another guy who, like, ran into him in the boat?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I think. Yes. I hear it's. Interesting question. I think what they're saying is it's just. It's just one thing.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, it's always. There's always. The other guy in the boat is you.

[Pete Holmes]

Is you. I think that's what it's hinting at.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

But because of that, there could be another person in the boat, but I don't think people would understand that. It's like, the one I like to use that's very similar to there's no one in the other boat is Alan Watts says when the play is over, we all go backstage and take our masks off.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And realize it was Just us entertaining us. There was also that children's book where it's like, their soul's in heaven and they're gonna go to earth. And it's like, I'll be someone for you to forgive. So you know what forgiveness is. And I'll know it makes me ball every time. It's such a. It's like, I want, like, the soul is like, I want to go to earth. I want to experience all the things. I want to know what it's like to have my heart broken. And another little soul is like, oh, I'll break your heart. And you're like, great.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you. Because I really want to, like, fill out the whole bingo card.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I need someone. And this is the Rayana. This is so many spiritual texts. At the end, the twist is the bad guy was also the good guy.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you just go like. Or it was all just one guy. But yeah. Okay. I don't know if that.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, I love.

[Pete Holmes]

There's the other boat thing.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, I love it kind of reminds me of, like, I had this thought at my high school reunion. I just had like my 10 year high school reunion.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, nice.

[Blair Carlisle]

In. Oh, wow. 2023. I guess I wasn't so long or like so recently, but it kind of like going there three years, three years ago, two years. And it was like, very similar to like, you go. Go backstage and take your masks off.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

It kind of reminded me, like, you go there and there's like the people who are like the jocks and the people who are the bullies and the people, like all their people, and everyone's kind of just talking. Just like, man, weren't we crazy back then? You know?

[Pete Holmes]

That is such a good image.

[Blair Carlisle]

It reminded me so much of like, man, after we all die, we're all gonna life on earth and be like, man, I took stuff really seriously back then. I'm sorry, man. I was going through my own thing, you know? Like, every single person kind of just goes like, we were all just trying to do our best in the wrong way sometimes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

It was like, so enlightening. Like, just beautiful. I know. Like, I'm sure, like, not everybody's high school reunion is like that, but at least for me, I was like, this is so cool.

[Pete Holmes]

No, so usually people have been, in the good way, humbled. When you're 16 and really good at football, I wouldn't imagine you to be super chill.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, your body feels no pain and you're amazing at a Sport that everyone values and you're handsome or whatever it is. Yeah. Why would you also be, like, grounded and cool or kind? Like, maybe kindness was somebody else's football. Like, that was what they were. They shined at that. Fine. But at the end, at the reunion, we all go like, what was that all about?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think we're fascinated with, like, we don't like looking at it, but we also do like looking at it on our own terms, which is like death and decay. It's like, it doesn't matter if you're a billionaire or really, really powerful in life. Everyone is, like, woke up in a body with the same. You know, you have an expiration date. You have vulnerabilities. That's why, like, anybody. Anybody that you have a really hard time with, like, you can think about them with a really bad cold. You know what I mean? And it's just, like. Just the feebleness, the. The brokenness. Like, I'm thinking, like, I just watched the Golden Globe monologue, which was so great.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But, like, the rock, right? The rock is just such a. Just the symbol of, like, you can't hurt me.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm everything. I'm charismatic, I'm intelligent, I'm handsome, and I'm enormous. I'm so strong. And it's like, yeah, he gets cold sometimes.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Or he just gets cold sometimes. He needs a blanket. He's like, I'm just.

[Blair Carlisle]

Splinters.

[Pete Holmes]

He gets splinters is a great one. Another one is he tries on sunglasses.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah. And he goes, nut.

[Pete Holmes]

I know I look stupid. Like, he just feels vulnerable. But also. And let's take the rock out of it. But everybody's going to die. And we don't look at that. We just look at the high school, and then the reunion is going. Like, this is why usually when people are at the end of their lives that they tend to open up, they tend to be a little bit more. Well, they're literally vulnerable and needy. And that's. That's when we really get into. I don't know. There's something about needing each other that's really beautiful.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, it's. I mean, it's so funny how, like, life is kind of reflective and mirrors each other in just small and big ways. Because also, I always think about one of, like, the first things that, like, really hit me, like, after I stopped drinking, because, like, I would. I drank, like, all. I was, like, drunk, like, every night for, like, seven years straight. And then when I stopped drinking, I, like, grew up Seven years In one year. Because I hadn't grown up.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. I literally like Arrested Development. Like, I never even understood that pun. The show Arrested Development. I was like, oh, yeah, you arrest. You stop your develop.

[Blair Carlisle]

Stop developing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And one of the first things that dawned on me, like, after I, like, when I was like, kind of learning all these less, like, things just in life, was like, the thought of, you know, like, when you're in a fight with like a significant other or friend or whatever, and then you're like 100 believe, like, what you're, like, what you're saying and that they're in the wrong. And then you'll even be like, like, I know I shouldn't say this because I'm saying this just to hurt them, but, like, it, man, I'm just gonna say.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And then, like, there's a need to. Your pain is so great. You actually need them to hold some of it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes. That's.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow, that's a good way to put it. Well, Val and I talk about that in real time a lot on the pod. We're just like, we had an argument on our podcast and I was like, I knew I was just hurting you, but I needed you. That's how badly I needed you to understand how I was feeling. Yes. I wanted to make you feel it. What? And I'm doing it, like, kind of. Not even kind of. That's a. That's a cop out. I'm doing it on purpose.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm going. This won't help.

[Blair Carlisle]

No. You know, you know, you're like, the joker is like the Joker burning the money.

[Pete Holmes]

You're like, is the joker.

[Blair Carlisle]

You're just like, I'm just going to.

[Pete Holmes]

Burn it all down and I want to upset you. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then, like, and then, you know, a day, like, maybe a few hours goes by or a day goes by and you start seeing like, oh, man. Maybe like, you know, you see like, everything you did wrong.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And just like realizing, like, one of the points. Points of like, life and maturing is to get the. That window smaller.

[Pete Holmes]

Smaller. That's right. Yeah. We're very similar in this. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then I'm like, imagine having that window before the fight even starts.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, you don't have to wait for the gap for, like, Right. Like, this clock doesn't have to start when the fight starts. The clock can just always be going.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, not to pat myself on the back, but Val is such a gracious and wonderful, safe person that when we have arguments or dust ups like that, we do talk about it in real time. I don't know why. That just wasn't modeled. That didn't. I don't think. I think that probably happened for the first. I can't say that. But, like, in 2010, like, I feel like that's a newer thing where people. More people were getting very interested in going, like. Like, I know I say this all the time, but Val and I will just go, I'm sorry. I was embarrassed. Like, and when you're. When I'm embarrassed, I'll do anything to get out of it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like a rat in a hot cage. And I'll say something that's not true. I'll say, I don't like somebody that I do. I'll say just anything to get that feeling away from me. But that. That's one thing. The other thing is to now be able to go, I was just embarrassed. I'm sorry. Like, I didn't like how I was feeling.

[Blair Carlisle]

And it feels so much better to admit it.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, yeah. And it's great if you like that. That's. That's the top shelf stuff.

[Blair Carlisle]

It really. Because, like, same thing. Like, when I got here and I was just like, I'm kind of nervous.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then I'm just like, the second I said that, I kind of felt way better. I'm like, okay.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. Why was that?

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm not pretending anymore, I think.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry, Katie, if I've told this story before, but I just got a colonoscopy, one everyone should get. It's 45 now. Who knew? Katie, you're way, way far from that. But you're gonna have to at some point. I don't know. How old are you?

[Blair Carlisle]

30.

[Pete Holmes]

30. I know. He plays an old man on the Internet. Uncle Pappy's had, like, five Kolonovsky. Oh, yeah, I know.

[Blair Carlisle]

I get him just so I can be in character.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I'll do this so fast. When you're going to be a procedure that ended up being absolutely nothing. It was nothing. It was a zero out of.

[Blair Carlisle]

I have had a colonoscopy. You have. So I. So I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I'm talking about.

[Blair Carlisle]

There's two pairs of footprints in the.

[Pete Holmes]

Sand during this story and one cord.

[Blair Carlisle]

Dragging from the box.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the same cord, though. I don't know why. Like a tail that connects us. Like dolls. I'm saying when I was nervous before that procedure, I just loved who I was because I was so tender and so in need and so vulnerable that I felt Like a profound and sincere love for everybody that I was encountering. I still remember them. I remember their faces. Because that's what's so dangerous about money and power, is if you can meet all of your own needs. And that in quotes, both meet and needs.

[Blair Carlisle]

And needs. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like in a. It's. There will be blood again. You're in a castle. You have a butler, you have all the food, you have your own bowling alley. Really dangerous. It's the real juice of life is saying, hey, Pete, I'm a little bit nervous and me being like, oh, it's your turn to be nervous and it's my turn to be the guy hosting you. And later I'll be nervous and somebody else will host me. And like, we need that. We're not made to be eating by candlelight and in a dark cavernous castle with our needs met. We're supposed to be on a colonoscopy table, scared, like, worried. Like, is this gonna. I don't like what's gonna. And everyone's just kind of like, I loved them so much. I loved them so much. And I was like, broken. I say this all the time, but broken Pete, scared Pete, needy Pete, even Pete that maybe lost his temper. This is a good Pete. Yeah, it's like fertilizer. No mud, no lotus. You know what I mean? No shit, no lotus.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's easy to remember that after the fact. To your point, I'm trying to go like, no, this, this is okay. Even while it's happening, this is okay.

[Blair Carlisle]

Well, that's like you, because you're kind of. When you're like in that state, you're kind of getting just a peek, like, because we all have it. We're all kind of like that beneath like the mask, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Blair Carlisle]

And after the reunion, after the reunion.

[Pete Holmes]

We'Re all like, man, I was so scared.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, exactly, exactly. You're like, man, I was so scared. I'm so sorry I did that. I'm so sorry I said that to you. And when you're in that vulnerable, like, moment, if you could take a beat to be like, wow, this is like kind of how everybody secretly feels.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Blair Carlisle]

A lot of the time.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. Everything I'm. Look again, I like the no math, mercy. But when you're looking for understanding which is different from forgiveness or mercy, just some good old fashioned understanding, most things that people do are because they're feeling scared or, or you know what I mean?

[Blair Carlisle]

They're.

[Pete Holmes]

They're anxious, they're Afraid. They don't even know it. Like, somewhere in their body, they're actually feeling uncomfortable.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

They don't even know. Yeah. The coyote is after something. And it's really a nice. Something I try to think about all the time is everybody's carrying some unseen burden. I forget who said that, but it's just like, yeah, everybody. I remember. I've told this a million times, but Oprah had Obama on her show, and at the commercial, he leaned over and was like, was that okay? And I was like, even Obama. Like, I don't buy it. I don't think there's a magical person that never needs somebody to touch their hand and go like, it's just a little turbulence.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's okay.

[Blair Carlisle]

The plane is built for this.

[Pete Holmes]

The plane is built for this.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Turbulence doesn't bring down planes. No.

[Blair Carlisle]

I love turbulent. I actually love.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow.

[Blair Carlisle]

Because planes are built for it. And so, like, in my head, I can go, like, turbulence has never brought down a plane. This is a chance for me to just, like, ex. Like. Like look at fear, like an alien, you know, and kind of. So, like, I kind of like, when the plane is shaking, I'm like, this is cool. Like, I'm like, all right. It's kind of like a scary movie. We're like, the monster's not gonna get me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

But I get to, like, feel a little scared.

[Pete Holmes]

Your body doesn't know that.

[Blair Carlisle]

Your body doesn't know which is exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

What'S happening in a horror movie.

[Blair Carlisle]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Your body doesn't know you're just looking at a screen.

[Blair Carlisle]

I know people think I'm crazy. Like, I'll be, like, with a friend on an airplane, and, like, we'll drop 10ft. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. This is awesome.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it is a safe little laboratory to look at it. I don't like it. I. I hate it. Because there's nothing to do. There was anything to do. Nothing works except surrender. You just have to. You just have to. I know. And that's the lesson. But that's the lesson.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. I mean. I mean, it's not good to feel like I'm drinking coffee or something, then I'm not having. Then I don't like the turbulence as much, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

If I'm, like, trying to journal, and.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm like, so what did you. We mentioned alcohol, and then we'll get to pappy. We have lots of things to get to, but your sobriety is interesting to me. And as somebody, like, Me, who's interested in happiness, by the way. I will say just up top, I don't think alcohol is like evil per se. Like, my wife drinks, my friends drink. It's. It's not like, you know, I'm just trying to not have too much judgment about it. That being said, I do think there's a. There's a discrepancy between what they sell alcohol as and what it actually is. And when. When it does try to kind of like claim, like picture a guy, a man in a sweater by a lake, watching a sunset. Like they, they drew in a glass of wine. Like they somehow co opted. Just the idea that you might be sitting enjoying a moment. It's actually kind of funny. I was thinking about that when I was young. They were like, somebody said to me, they were like, I love a cocktail because if you're just sitting by a lake, you're a weirdo. But if you have a cocktail, you're doing something. And I'm like, they did that?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, it's on purpose.

[Pete Holmes]

That's their marketing. That's like saying, I love McDonald's because I'm loving it. Like they said, it's normal to sit with a cocktail. It's not normal to sit just by yourself. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Blair Carlisle]

No. Because it could be anything.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like alcohol did it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

It could be like.

[Pete Holmes]

It could have been blowing bubbles.

[Blair Carlisle]

It could have. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It could have been a kazoo.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like the kazoo. Lobbyists could have been like, you're. You ain't. If you don't have a kazoo.

[Blair Carlisle]

Exactly. Like every, like, you know, ad for like, it's like an old couple in a bathtub and they both have kazoos.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know where it's like, right. Thank God they have their kazoos there. What would they be doing?

[Pete Holmes]

You need a kazoo if you're an action student star. You kazoo. That's one of my big ones.

[Blair Carlisle]

That post coital kazoo you.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow, that was really hot. You just see Clooney with a kazoo in all the movies. Clooney's got his own Kasamigos brand kazoo.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

He's on the motorcycle with the kazoo.

[Blair Carlisle]

Kazumigos.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then you sit and you're watching it at homeos. And then you're sitting at home and then you see him and you go, actually, do I have any? Because I got. I gotta get one.

[Pete Holmes]

But then when you're, when you, when you do it, it's not. Nothing is. All of that. You know what I mean? I'm not saying I didn't have some nice times with alcohol. Of course I did. But, like, I got confused. I was like, this is liquid sunshine. This is happiness in a bottle. Like, what is that song? It's like, the river is whiskey, and I'll just swim in it and be happy all the time.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's like, whiskey river, take my mind. Is it whiskey river yet, Willie Nelson?

[Pete Holmes]

And it's. That's not how it works. I think even Willie knows.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, I think Willie knows that. Willie knows that.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, yes. So what was. What happened? You got drunk every night for seven years?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. I don't know. I. I think, you know, it's just. It's genetic, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Sure.

[Blair Carlisle]

So, like, I remember, like, the first time I ever got drunk. I was, like, 16 at this, like, party, and I, like, went in the bathroom. I literally looked in the mirror and said, like, don't ever not feel like this, like, ever.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like. And I. Because I was just like, this is the greatest feeling in the world.

[Pete Holmes]

And then. That's very. That's. That's right on. You got a good look at it. The voice.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because Richard. I think Richard Roy told me this in a book somewhere, or maybe he said it. I don't know, but it was like, for an addict, the only feeling that's tolerable is absolute ecstasy. That when we. When I would get drunk and high or something at the same time, I'd be like, finally.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This is what it should always be. And Chris Farley, when he got stoned for the first time, it was in his book, the book about him. He said, I just didn't know why anyone wouldn't want to feel that way all the time.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's how I felt.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then it kind of makes life like broccoli. And then, like. And so then. And then you're out.

[Pete Holmes]

That's kind of the problem.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, it makes life broccoli. And then it makes, like, being, like, drunk or high. The dessert.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And so then it's like. But life isn't broccoli. Life isn't a. Isn't some gross thing. You got to eat so you can do the other thing. Like, life is dessert, too.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

I like. I also. I mean, that's a bad metaphor because.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it's a good metaphor.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, dessert doesn't.

[Pete Holmes]

No.

[Blair Carlisle]

Nourish you, but, like, you know, I like the same thing. It, like, paints, not drunk life as, like, a chore.

[Pete Holmes]

What splits it in two yeah. You know, I remember when Seth Rogen did this podcast. He was like, we smoke while. And this isn't judging him, but he was like, we smoke when we're making stuff, like shooting stuff, because most people who smoke want work to be done so they can go home and smoke. And I was like, that's interesting. But there is something that he's trying to like. So let's make all time smoking time. But I think what I'm hearing you say is, like, let's make all of life not just. It's too cheap to say a good time, but make it vital, make it precious, not just, like, holding the time. That's what makes the mystics and the monks and all these people so interesting to me is they're in line at the rental counter when the flights were canceled and there's no cars and they're still grooving.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not just when the ice cream hits my lips or when the smoke gets inhaled or when the booze goes down. And we do have that capacity. The book that helped me quit drinking, which is called this Naked Mind.

[Blair Carlisle]

I know. I read it because of you.

[Pete Holmes]

Really?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Annie. Grace, she's wonderful, but she made that really interesting point where she's like, have you ever noticed that people start feeling better when they order their drink?

[Blair Carlisle]

It's like, oh, my God. Yeah, that's.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll have a glass of wine. And you start. I remember that. You start feeling like it's coming. It's coming. That's your brain. Your brain is just running the show. Yeah. It's going. You. You taught me about this thing. And I'm going to bother you until you give it to me. And then when you say, I'll have it, I'll reward you then. So it's not even the thing. It's like these feelings are in you. You make them, and you've kind of married them. They shouldn't be married to anything. No. They shouldn't even be married to, like, you get it?

[Blair Carlisle]

And, like, I mean, even, like, I don't even feel like if I'm super hungry, I don't even feel that relief when I order the food.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know, Which I need to live.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

But then your brain's like. It's different. Your brain's like, okay, now we're good. That's good. And it was. I don't know. I. Yeah, I just. Like, from starting from, like, when I first drank, I was like, this is like, the best thing in the world.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

I got to do this all the time.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I was, like, highly functioning, so I, like, drank. I was, like, drunk every night through all of college, but still, like, had, like, graduated with a good gpa. Like, never got a dui. Never. Like, it never. I never had, like, a horrible, like, bottom, which is almost, like, dangerous in a different way, because then you don't have, like, a reason to stop. You know, it gives the alcohol voice. The little gremlin.

[Pete Holmes]

This is my story. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This is working.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, it's like. See, it's like the Green Goblin mask. It's like.

[Pete Holmes]

It is.

[Blair Carlisle]

They want to take this away from.

[Pete Holmes]

So is the. Which is Gollum, which is just Voices of the Green things. But it's like, I'm so with you. Alcohol. For me. Val and I were just remembering this. In this house when we lived here, we would call it Burning the Day. And I thought that meant I. I had won.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If we would start drinking or I would really start drinking, maybe Velvet Smoke. And it would be like, you know, 11am 12.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, man, those are the best days.

[Pete Holmes]

Just get ripped. Go to take a nap, wake up and, like, be sober and then go to, like, have a sober dinner or do it again.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, do it. I'm like, do it again. Now I can do it again.

[Pete Holmes]

Do it again. But, like, I bought the story that. That's what, like. Because it worked. Because my lifestyle. They want you to drink. You're a musician. They want. They give you drinks. Comedian, improv. They want you to drink that. That's your.

[Blair Carlisle]

And, yeah, I still play shows, and so I'm always just, like, in bars getting the drink tickets. They'll just give them to my friends.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And it's always just like, man, it is. It's, like, more valuable than money to, like, that world.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

But what.

[Pete Holmes]

What did it. Why did you stop then?

[Blair Carlisle]

Well, I mean, a lot of reasons. I, like, just need. I, like, need, like, needed it so bad, where I'm like. You know, when I finally did stop, it was, like, three days of, like, not sleeping, throwing up like the bat. Like. Yeah. It was, like, not ideal, where I'm like, oh, this is a little. This is like a movie.

[Pete Holmes]

This is like, you really had the full. Which, by the way, I think a lot of people do. It's a very addictive substance. But you see a withdrawal scene, you go right to heroin. But that's another thing this naked mind points out is that alcohol is very.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah. It was bad. And then. So then it was funny. I stopped drinking, like, in October of 2019. And then, like, went through all the withdrawals, made it till. And that was like, I'm just doing the month of October. And then by the end of October, I was, like, feeling great. I was, like, sleeping okay. I was like, you know, maybe I don't need this. Like, I've got a handle on it. I haven't really gone a month without drinking ever. So Now I'm good. October 31st at midnight, I'm like, you know what? I did it. I could just have a beer to celebrate and then just, like, drank 12 beers, was drunk all the way until I know it was the voice. The gram, the green thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Was like, you're good. You proved it. You proved that. You can stop if you want.

[Pete Holmes]

By the way, I'm compelled to share that, like, you can keep the good part of the voice. I don't like that. The voice that says, you're good. You deserve it. You're. You're. I'm glad you. You should celebrate. Got married with a substance. You know what I mean? That's another co option where I'm like, no, you can have the voice that goes like, you did it. You should be proud. But it's weird when that gets married to, like, a brain.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah. But do you think that I. Do you think they're different voice? I feel like they're different voices.

[Pete Holmes]

I do think they're different voices. I think one is imitating the other.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes. No, you're right. It's like the thing. It's like the thing where it's like, it looks like a dog, but it's not. And it's like. Like, I'm your best friend. And then that's right on, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Because he's doing an impression. You're a good boy. I'm proud of you. Like, but he's fake.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

He doesn't mean it. He's like, now let's go do what I need you to do.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, I know.

[Pete Holmes]

That's why I quit nicotine. It wasn't that it was, like, nefarious. It was just like, I hate that my brain is like, I'll make you drive back home.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

You forgot it. Yeah, I'm like that. You hear those stories about, like, microbes that, like, get in your brain and they, like, control your body and they can take over and make you their host and all this sort of stuff. That's what addiction is. It's not.

[Blair Carlisle]

It is.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not chill. It's giving somebody else.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes. A different thing. Like, in this naked mind. I think you said it like, where it was just like, I'm this thing's.

[Pete Holmes]

Now I'm this thing. That's my summary of that book.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Instead of alcohol is like cool Casamigos motorcycle. It's like, no, you're its bitch.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And I look the fantasy of a Clooney in a button down white shirt. Just having one. God love you.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. I wish I could have one. If I could have one, I'll be doing that. I mean, like. But I. There's even part of me.

[Pete Holmes]

I. Blair, I think you can relate to this. There's part of me that's like, the fuck is wrong with you?

[Blair Carlisle]

1.

[Pete Holmes]

What are you doing? That's how bad. Like, I wasn't like, oh, I wish I could just have one. If there's something that makes you feel a way you like, then drink all of it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, no, I mean, that's a really good point.

[Pete Holmes]

Too quickly.

[Blair Carlisle]

Who are you trying to impress?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't understand. And Val still does that. When I go out and people are drinking, I'm like, why are you sipping that? Like, you just like the taste of Listerine. It's fucking Listerine. Drink it.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's so. Because that's so funny. Like, talking about how, like when someone does something bad, you know, the cutting off and then you do the math and you go, well, I've done this. I've done this. And like, like I'm in law school right now.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow.

[Blair Carlisle]

And. And so like, we will like, read cases. And like, I'm always trying to like, see, I'm like, I'd be a very bad. I'm not. I'm like doing environmental law because I'm like, I don't want to be a pro. Anytime you have to, like, get someone in trouble. I'm always like, come on. We all, we've all like, felt like this before.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

The one drink. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what that feels like. I'm like, yeah, I can't. I could put myself in the mind.

[Pete Holmes]

Of like almost any murderer. Yeah. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Who like killed out of passion than a guy. Than a guy who has one drink for martini.

[Pete Holmes]

That's all I wanted.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's good. I just got it for the olive.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. Yeah. I don't know why this reminds me of. I'm trying to work on a bit right now where I was like, I really do think God loves everybody the same. And even that, I think is not quite the most literal way to put It. I don't think God is somewhere looking at you and going, like, I like you. It just loves every. It's just what it does. And I was like, if I'm being honest, I fucking hate that. Like, I wish it was like, Pete's the only one who gets me. He's the only one who understands. He's the magical boy. We're gonna have the special concert just for him, the big party. Like, I want. There's something about that with the drink. I'm like, I don't. I don't. I don't understand why that came up. But I was like, there's something. I guess what it is is be honest.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, sometimes I don't like that God loves everybody. And. And be honest. I don't wish I could only have one. I think that's fucking dumb.

[Blair Carlisle]

I think it is kind of crazy. So why'd you spend that money?

[Pete Holmes]

What are you doing? Yeah, just go. If you want to go to Detroit, go to Detroit.

[Blair Carlisle]

Mm.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't. Just. I just want to be able to see Detroit. Go to Detroit. I'm.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm not a quitter.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

So I'm not gonna have one.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. This episode is brought to you by my new current obsession, Little Saints, which has brought cocktails back into my life. I. I miss cocktails. I don't drink, but I miss the ritual. The citrus peel, the clink of the. The ice on the glass, the winding down. Something that tells your brain it's time to wind down. Little Saints is here. It's a real cocktail experience, just without alcohol. Non alcoholic, zero sugar, five calories. Taste interesting. Complex, layered, smoky. I loved savoring every sip. It's not sparkling juice pretending to be a drink. It's its own thing. A true mocktail in a bottle, in a can. And they're enhanced with functional botanicals like lion's mane and reishi. Nothing heavy, just a little extra calm and. And clarity to help you wind down and loosen up in a social situation or just on your own. Perfect for weeknights, parties or anytime you want. Cocktail energy without cocktail consequences. So live how you want. Keep the ritual, lose the chaos. Check out Little Saints and discover your magic hour. Visit little saints.com and use promo code weird to get 15% off your first order. Little Saints products are non alcoholic. Functional ingredients are not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any condition. This episode is sponsored by ro. You know, seeking health care isn't just about your physical health. It affects the way you show up at work in your relationships and honestly how you feel about yourself. And for a lot of people, weight loss can feel especially frustrating. You may be doing the right things, exercising, eating right, but still nothing changes. Well, you've heard about GLP1 medications, but they can seem expensive and confusing or totally out of reach. That's where RO comes in. GLP1s can be life changing, but insurance can make it feel like a guessing game. Am I covered? What will it cost? And RO clears all of that up before you even start. Their free insurance checker lets you see if Your insurance covers GLP1 medications and if you're not covered or don't have insurance at all. RO still offers more affordable FDA approved cash pay options without the thousand dollar price tags. No paperwork, no waiting on hold, just submit your insurance card and RO takes care of the rest, sending you a clear report so you can decide what's right for your goals. And if you do move forward, you're supported the whole way with access to a provider on demand and medications shipped right to your door. This is the easiest and clearest path I've heard of if this is right for you. So go to ro co weird for your free insurance check. That's ridiculous. O co weird to see if your insurance covers GLP1s for free. Go to roe co safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications. This episode is brought to us by our friends at dad Grass. Why is it that when you want to relax and just have a little fun, modern weed products strap you to a rocket like a confused chimp and blast you into outer space? You can't follow a movie. You can't hold a conversation. You're just orbiting the earth surrounded by empty pizza boxes and a lot of regret. Well, can't we just take the edge off? Well can't we just get a little giggly with our friends keeping our feet on the ground? Well, thanks to dad Grass, yes we can. I am obsessed legit with their leisure drinks. It is a sparkling Yuzu flavored can that ships legally to all 50 states if you're over 21. And each one has 2.3mg of THC and 6mg of CBD which is the perfect dose so you feel happy and relaxed without the hangover. Plus they're stackable for a bigger buzz and they are fast acting which means you'll feel it in about 10 to 20 minutes so you can get it just right. Get leisure drinks and all of dad Grass's products including their joints and gummies [e-mail] weird and use promo code weird for 20 off. That's dadgrass.com weird. Use promo code weird for 20% off. Check it out.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, I. But, like, kind of. What are you talking about? This just made me think about when you said, like, about God loving everybody. Yeah. And it's kind of. Not that God hates anybody, but I always get in arguments with people. Not arguments, but, like, I love having, like, debates and, like, philosophical conversations. My friends and, like, I have certain friends who, like, just the. The idea of, like, the random. Randomness of tragedy and stuff, like, really bothers them. And I'm like, don't you realize how necessary that is? Like, and it's kind of the inverse of God loving everybody is. God punishes everybody, like, indiscriminately too. Like, it's not like if you're really.

[Pete Holmes]

It's impersonal.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's impersonal. And it's also just so necessary.

[Pete Holmes]

Right?

[Blair Carlisle]

Because if you could game the system by being a good person, if, like, the worse you are. I mean, actually it is.

[Pete Holmes]

I know you're really bad. You get bad things happening to you.

[Blair Carlisle]

But actually it is kind of true that, like, the worse you are, the worse things do happen to you by your own making, but just the randomness of life. Like, you could be the best person in the world, and you, like, never smoke a cigarette or drink a drink, and you eat all the organic foods and then you just get hit in a crosswalk, you know? And people be like, well, why would I even do all the good stuff then?

[Pete Holmes]

Right?

[Blair Carlisle]

And I'm kind of like, well, because if you were kind for. If you were kind to get something out of it, you're not being kind. Right. You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, that's the whole reason, is that it could be taken away.

[Pete Holmes]

Right? Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. It can't just be, I do this. I'm paying into something that.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Investing in.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm investing out more. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That's really dumb.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know, I. So, like, people always, like. And that's like the same thing. God loves everybody. Like, I'm gonna be like. So I'm gonna, like, you know, give to charity and go to church and do all this. And then God's gonna love this, like, murderer the same as me.

[Pete Holmes]

Right?

[Blair Carlisle]

And be like, yeah, because if he would love you more because of all of that, then that would be the reason to do it.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

And if you're doing it for that reason, then you're not doing it.

[Pete Holmes]

This is where the right reason, Greg Boyle pointed out in his book, he was like, whenever there's a tragedy, an email will go out. Let's say it could be 9, 11, and they'd be like, well, look at. Here's 50 stories of people who slept in that morning. And isn't this proof that God loves them? And he's like, well, what about the 3,000? God didn't love them. Like, really just step out. What you're saying, when it's actually quite interesting to me, is when we talk about God loving us, what we really want is God to protect us. Like, we want, like, a bodyguard or we want favorite. We want somebody to keep us safe and all. And I completely understand that. But, like, I don't think that's what's going on. And I think that's one of the things. Not to be too religious, but, like, Jesus was crucified. You know what I mean? It's weird that the mascot of a religion that a lot of people, myself included in the early days, use as a protection policy, like an. Like a divine all state. You'll cover me and nothing bad will happen to me. The mascot of that was murdered.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, that's crazy.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Like, this is like, help me, Jesus.

[Pete Holmes]

Nobody helped you, but would you help me?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, who did God love more than Jesus? If you're looking at it like that.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Like in the hierarchy.

[Pete Holmes]

And Jesus said, take this cup away from me. I don't want to do this. That's another way of saying, that's just not what's going on here. Yeah, it's not good. People don't get hit by buses and. But we. I don't know. That's a lot to ask people to think about.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I just. I do. One of my biggest things is just that, like, pain. I like my. Probably my favorite thing that I've, like, kind of realized. And I don't. Like, there's definitely flaws in this, but that, like, pain is the price of wisdom.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And that, like, one of the differences between pain and knowledge is, like, you have to suffer in some capacity for some form for a lot of most forms of wisdom. There's also a lot of wisdom you can get from love. But.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I know you mean, like, it gets baked in and becomes very vital and real when. When there's some suffering involved. Is that what you mean? Or pain.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, I mean, there's just a lot. Like, I always think of Job. Job is like, my favorite thing. Like, I. I'm not like, religious. I've kind of created my own religion in my own. In my mind, I believe. Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm a papyist.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm a papyist. No, I don't. It's like. And I love. I get a lot of lessons, and so, like, the Book of Job is, like, one of my favorite, favorite stories of all time. And, like, my kind of relationship with the Book of Job has changed because I remember being a kid, when I was a kid, I was, like, a very staunch, like, atheist. You know, like, when you're, like, 14 and you're like, watch a YouTube video about what God doesn't exist, then you go to school and you're like, I actually know why God. That God doesn't exist. And then, like, yeah, so I always, like, viewed the Book of Thrill. No, no, it is a thrill thrill.

[Pete Holmes]

I was in San Francisco and I saw somebody walking around with a mask, and I was like, what a thrill. That must be a thrill to walk around San Francisco with a maga hat.

[Blair Carlisle]

That is true. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I was like, that dude, it's like a quadruple espresso and a cigarette right now. Like, that must be.

[Blair Carlisle]

Dude, he's in Coyote time.

[Pete Holmes]

He's like, that's just ripped. Yeah, just like you. Yes, exactly. Keep going.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, well. Because, like, growing up, like, I. And I would always point to the Book of Job. I'm like, how could this. This God sucks like that, you know, this guy has, like, dedicated his whole life to him. He's most faithful guy. And, like, basically, like, for anyone who doesn't know, the Book of Job is, basically, there's a guy who is very faithful. He loves God. He's like, one of the best. God looks down. He's like, man, Job is the man, dude. He has, like, a wonderful family. He's got a bunch of kids. He's got a huge farm. He's got a wife. And then, depending on the translation, it's sometimes it's Satan, sometimes it's Hasatan, who, like, is just an angel, who's, like, the tester of humans. But just for simplicity, I'll say it's Satan. Which also, when people like, no, it's Satan. I'm like, so Satan and God are just hanging out in heaven, talking about this guy. Which I kind of like that idea too. Like, they're just like. They clock out of their roles too. Like, they go backstage and that's right. Like, God's like, man, look at Job. He's so awesome. And then Satan's like, well, you've built a hedge around him. Like, he has a huge farm. He's got, like. Like, nothing really bad has ever happened to him. Like, of course he's your most faithful follower.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And God's like, I guess you're right. He's like, okay, you know what? Do anything you want to him, except kill him. So then Satan kills all of his cattle, destroys his farm, like, dries up all of his crops, kills all of his children, covers him in boils and. And, like, just horrible things. And, like, got, like, job, like, stays faithful. And then God, like, long story short, and then God's like, see, he is faithful. Gives him back, like, tenfold everything. Even though, I guess back in the day, like, a new son is the same as the one who died. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel like in the olden days, like, things were real brutal.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, he had an inventory list. He's like, five sons.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. Five sons. That's the same as that. We're good. We're clean. Every. Nobody question it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You got the five.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Yeah. And then so, like, growing up, I'd always be like, I. Why would I Like that?

[Pete Holmes]

How it ends, by the way? He just gets everything tenfold, I think.

[Blair Carlisle]

So, like, at the end, he, like, you know, he's rewarded for his, like, his faith, and he. And so Job's like, okay, cool. I was faithful. That was awesome. And, like, growing up, I'd always be like, why would I love a God who would just use me as a pawn for a bet.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Against Satan.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And, like, kill people that I love.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then, like, it was through, like, when I stopped drinking and, like, went through, like, a hard breakup and different things and, like, when you have your, like, you know, when. When life tests you, you know? And before, like, the breakup, you know, I had been doing all this stuff about, like, stoicism and philosophy and, like, being like, you know, all we have, all we can control is how we react to the world and all these things, and then realizing, like, anyone can be stoic when everything's good. Like, and it's kind of like, it's actually only when everything is bad that it matters that you're a good person.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

Because, like, everyone could be faithful when everything's good. Everyone could be a good person when everyone could be smiling at everyone and waving people in their, like, merge Lane.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And everyone can, like, give people grace when they're, like, have money and a great family and Is good. And so it's kind of like, in life, it's just. It's during the job Time, Like I always call it job time. I'm like, man, I'm in some job time right now. Like, this is like, it's actually more important now for me to be good than it ever has in my life.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Because like, this will also set a precedent for how I'll act next time a tragedy happens to me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Because they're like rare, right? Like, if we're lucky, we only get a few really big tragedies. And so it's kind of like don't waste them.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. It's also everything that we're doing does lead not to harp on death, but does lead to decay and death.

[Blair Carlisle]

I love talking about death.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just saying, like, I think about this all the time. Like, if my own personal beliefs, my philosophies, the way I look at reality fall away when I don't have coffee or I missed a meal or I slept badly, they're not gonna do too hot when I'm literally going, this is my last hour.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So we need stuff. Meaning we all get jobed in the end.

[Blair Carlisle]

We all get jobed in the end.

[Pete Holmes]

So like, get. Well, it's funny, one of those post its on that old computer says we all have to trust God when we die. Meaning reality. We all have to trust reality when we die. We don't know what's happening. So you might as well practice now, right?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. If you die before you die, you won't die when you die. Brian Maraescu said that on this show.

[Pete Holmes]

I know, bro. And I think, why am I blanking? I know that's from the Greeks.

[Blair Carlisle]

I think so. And then my, it's so. It's kind of funny too because my I. My band is all kind of like spooky western songs about like cowboys and monsters and stuff. And I have a song called the Howling that's about werewolves. And in that song I have like, I put the line, if you die before you die, you won't die when you die. Yeah, but like in like, in terms like monsters.

[Pete Holmes]

Right? That's fun.

[Blair Carlisle]

Which is kind of just a fun thing. Because monsters are just like representations of human, of like different forms of suffering. I feel like.

[Pete Holmes]

For sure, of course.

[Blair Carlisle]

And that's why I love werewolves. Because I feel like as an alcoholic, I'm like, no. What is more alcoholic than a werewolf?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Being horny too is also werewolf. Yes, it's very like, it's crass. But as soon as you're done having sex, sometimes you're like, what was that all about? Or like Run. You're done eating a huge meal. You're like, what was that all about? Yeah, I mean, like, you go into these. It's the. I don't like this term, but the animalistic side of us. And then, like, vampires are kind of like the billionaires. Like, they live forever, but they're recluses. Mm. Are they happy?

[Blair Carlisle]

I don't see many naturally tan billionaires.

[Pete Holmes]

That's true. Well, they're. They're wise to that, so they're like, guys. I know. They have meetings. I know. You're gonna want to wear a cape. Don't, please. It's bad for all of us if you wear a cape. It looks very crazy.

[Blair Carlisle]

The optics are not good.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Frankenstein is. When I watched the new Frankenstein, I was like, oh, this is having kids. When he was like, I don't want to hurt you. I made you. I was like, that's talking to your children.

[Blair Carlisle]

It is. And I mean, I love. Frankenstein's one of my favorite books of all time, too. I like. I mean, I just love. I feel like monsters don't get credit for being, like, wisdom literature.

[Pete Holmes]

No, they nailed it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

They picked, like, the five key ones, and they've stood the test of time.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes. And the great. Like, this is just, like, a little trivia thing, but, like, Frankenstein. Do you know, like, the story of Frankenstein, like, Mary Shelley writing it?

[Pete Holmes]

No.

[Blair Carlisle]

She and her husband were on a vacation with. I think it was Lord Byron and another, like, writer at a scare.

[Pete Holmes]

Bnb.

[Blair Carlisle]

At a.

[Pete Holmes]

Terrible.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, that. No, that's good.

[Pete Holmes]

Go on.

[Blair Carlisle]

And they. They, like, went to Geneva, and then, like, weather came, and it snowed them all in, so they were just, like, kind of trapped in a cabin, and they all challenged each other, like, let's see who can write the scariest story. And she wrote Frankenstein.

[Pete Holmes]

No.

[Blair Carlisle]

Which is just. And then Lord Byron wrote, like, the first vampire tale ever, too. I.

[Pete Holmes]

During that.

[Blair Carlisle]

During the. In that cabin.

[Pete Holmes]

What?

[Blair Carlisle]

And then she, like, they left, and she was like, I think I might make my story like a. Like, I might just, like, edit it and make it like a book and made Frankenstein.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Blair Carlisle]

Which is just crazy.

[Pete Holmes]

That's amazing. I want to know what the other stories were. The other one was just like. And there was a guy chasing me.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, when the teenagers left. Make out point.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just basic knife slasher, slasher stuff. Shit, that's amazing.

[Blair Carlisle]

But. Oh, yeah, I just.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you love about it? I mean, I just watched the Guillermo del Toro one. I thought it was.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah. I Saw I would, like, drove, like, 30 minutes in theaters, because it was, like, in select theaters. Yeah. And it was like. It was a little different from the book, but I still. I felt like a lot of Frankenstein don't. Don't capture the book, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Which really, the Frankenstein's, like, really smart. And it also is just like, the story. Frankenstein is kind of like you put in. You put out what you put in. And so it kind of is like Frankenstein is like this blank infant who's super smart and, like.

[Pete Holmes]

You mean the monster?

[Blair Carlisle]

The monster?

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. No, no, no, it's fine.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, Frankenstein, the green. The big green guy.

[Pete Holmes]

You.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, no, you mean the.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry. The monster is like the classic. Yes, the classic. The monster in the book is really smart. He.

[Blair Carlisle]

Well, he, like, starts out like an infant, and then, like, kind of like in the movie, too. Like, he studies, he learns this. He, like, hides in those people shed, watches them through the crack in the door.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, learns how to read because, like, the daughter's teaching the blind grandpa how to, like, navigate the world. And then he, like, starts, like, taking books and learning. And so then when he confronts, like, Victor Frankenstein, he's, like, super well spoken, very eloquent, has, like, read, like, Greek philosophy, and he, like, is like, why did you do this to me? And then, like, the only time Frankenstein acts like a monster is when the world treats him like a monster. And I, like, kind of like, with children, too, where it's kind of just like every single person has the capacity. Capacity to be. To be Frankenstein's monster in the bad way. Or, you know, like, if you put. If you treat someone with kindness, you get kindness. It's just the very basic story of just, you know, you match whatever energy.

[Pete Holmes]

Is given to you, and people are what you. So often, they're what you tell them they are.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Going into law, I mean, that's. That's the challenge of. I know it's environmental law, but in criminal law, it's really trying to be like. I know as soon as you say this person is a murderer, you just see them as a. As a murderer, and they have to unwind that. Yeah, they're trying to argue their. Their defense.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, it's. I worked at, like, the Miami State Attorney's office last year, and I was like, I can't do this. This is. I was like, I just want to save some wetlands and save the Everglades in the Florida springs. I don't.

[Pete Holmes]

I do not want to, like, with people.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. I don't want to have you know, people's lives.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't imagine what it's like to be a surgeon or a lawyer. I mean that' real well we speaking about death stuff.

[Blair Carlisle]

This is my. This is like macabre. But like we also like during that we went to the medical examiner's office and cuz they're like oh, if you're like a prosecutor you have like you have to do this. I don't know if they're like hazing us cuz or like what. But like so I remember I was like thinking like I guess we'll go there and like watch an autopsy. Like there'll be like a pane of glass and be like, you know. And we go in there and there's just like dead bodies everywhere and they're all getting just taken apart. Like people like there's this dude, that guy.

[Pete Holmes]

Casual.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's very casual.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not like a movie where they're like.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, they're like slamming them like. Like you have like. Like WWE stars. Flipping them, flipping them over.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course. Like I'm sure the first one, you're pretty ginger with it. And then like your 300th corpse you're like grab his ankles and flip them. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

There's like literally a dude with like a brain in his hand like talking about the off like something they saw in like the office the night before, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Blair Carlisle]

And they're just like Jo. Like I'm standing there, I'm like this is crazy. I was like, I've never seen death like this before.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then honestly like in the moment I was like, this is just very interesting. And then like a week later I went home. And then when I got home I like got depressed for like two weeks because I was just like think just seeing like these people's faces and like being like oh my God. I don't want that to happen to like my brother and my s. Like in my sister. I want that happen to me. But then death it like I do love talking about death and thinking about death because like you know, Marcus Rally said nothing is natural as evil and decimals natural thing in the world. And like I think about death kind of like a. Like a lizard. Like we're like a. Like we're like a lizard in a house. And death is like the person trying to catch it and put it back outside. And you're just like wow. Like the lizard's running from you and you're like. I'm like thinking it's gonna hurt. You're gonna hurt.

[Pete Holmes]

It. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And you're like, no, no. Like, you're not supposed to be in this house. Like, this is unnatural. I'm gonna put you back outside where you belong. But the lizard doesn't understand that. And that's how I kind of feel. Like, we run from death. Like, death's like, you're not supposed to feel separate from everything. You're not supposed to be, like, in this. Like, I'm gonna put you back outside.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I shouldn't be on tile. Yeah, you're supposed to be outside.

[Blair Carlisle]

You're like. Little claws aren't like, you're not supposed to be on tile.

[Pete Holmes]

Your eyes aren't meant to look at neon.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Fluorescent lights.

[Pete Holmes]

Get out of here.

[Blair Carlisle]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Really? Right. But we resist. Missed it. Because there does seem to be, like, an intuitive. We see it in the way that we talk about it in our stories. Like, we see so much death in our stories, and it's like this, you know, the wind blows out the curtains kind of thing. That's our way of going. Like, there's a. There's a. There's something behind it that we might not understand. You know what I mean?

[Blair Carlisle]

I do know what you mean.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I love that lizard.

[Blair Carlisle]

I know. Yeah. Like, I was driving and I thought of that. I'm like, wow. That. I was like, I gotta say that on. You made it weird.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, There you go. But lip it.

[Blair Carlisle]

But I don't know. It's. But also, like, it's so good. We don't understand death.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

There's, like, so many things that people want to understand. Like, the meaning of life, too.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

They're like, what's the meaning of life? I'm like, do you know how disappointing it would be if there was an answer?

[Pete Holmes]

It's. Well, I love magic. And when I find out. Magnets, they do it. Yeah. Magnets. But when I say, how do you do it? Sometimes I do find out how they did it. It's always the most disappointing thing in the world, and you're just like, oh, it turns out I didn't want to. Want to know.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's the thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Same thing with death.

[Pete Holmes]

You just had a polar bear in your car the whole show, and then they walked it in with fish. Like, it's a bummer.

[Blair Carlisle]

You just killed a bird.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. That's the procedure.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Kill the bird. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

But, like, same thing with death. Same thing. The meaning of life. I'm like, if. So. If there's, like, scientific. They're like, we did It. This is it. I'm like, there's literally no answer. That wouldn't be disappointing.

[Pete Holmes]

Right?

[Blair Carlisle]

You know?

[Pete Holmes]

Right. It's like knowing how you'll die. Like, would you like to know how you'll die?

[Blair Carlisle]

And you're kind of like, I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I mean, I don't. It's a weird thing to say, but isn't there something vibrant and exciting about going, like, it could be today? I know that's dark, but.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, it's true.

[Pete Holmes]

Kind of keeps you on your toes, actually.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, you're so right, because I hadn't really thought about that.

[Pete Holmes]

If you knew you were 99, you just kind of go around and be like, not today.

[Blair Carlisle]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

That would be nice.

[Blair Carlisle]

I just close. Like, my big trick would be closing my eyes, walking across the street.

[Pete Holmes]

Totally. You know, you'd be like, but we don't know. You could be maimed.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. You could be in a coma for seven years.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that was something I had on a psychedelic journey is I said, it already knows meaning, like, the thing it already knows. It just wants to keep swimming. Because I kept going like, oh, I see. And in those moments, I really felt like I did understand and was the truth of the universe. Then I was like, but Pete in a car, Pete late to a meeting, Pete. Pete losing his temper, Pete being a good dad, Pete being a bad. Whatever. Like, all of that was just so fun for it. Like, it couldn't get it. Like, every type of movie, every type of story, it was like, it already knows. We think we're gonna, like, get enlightened or we're gonna figure out the meaning of life. The thing that it all is already knows. It just wants it's its nature to keep spilling over itself into different stories.

[Blair Carlisle]

I never thought it, like. I never thought about it like that. But you're right, because, I mean, I do genuinely. I make. I genuinely think that we're the universe experiencing itself.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

The kind of. As cliche as that sounds.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it's great.

[Blair Carlisle]

And the universe is like, I want to see. I want to be Blair. I want to be this person who's going to break Blair's heart.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

I want to be this person who is Blair's gonna break their heart. I want to, like, do all of it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And so that's why I'm also just like. This is the weird part. Like, I'm like the universe pretending to be Blair for a little bit. And, like, for billions of years, I'm just don't feel separate. It's like, this is the strange little, like, dot of time.

[Pete Holmes]

Right, Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

But then I. I'm curious about your thought about this, because I was thinking about this because everyone talks about the ego and that, you know, your ego is the thing that puts all these decorations and ornaments on you to make you feel separate from the rest of everything and that, you know, everyone. Like, you're supposed to, like, you have your ego death, and you remember that you're one with everything and that everything is like in Ecclesiastes, like, everything is heavily. Everything is vapor. Like, everything is kind of an illusion. And the thing is, like, a lot of people, like, a lot of philosophy puts onus on, like, the ego as being, like, the culprit, as the thing that keeps you separate from everything. Like, like, makes you forget.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

But then I'm. I kind of was thinking about it and I'm like, well, if the universe wants to experience life as Blair is it the universe make is what is. Why wouldn't it be the universe making me feel separate? Wouldn't the universe be like, I don't want to remember I'm one with everything. I want to be Blair right now?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, this is also an Alan Watts thing. He goes, an atheist is God's greatest creation because the more you forget, the greater the artistry. Yes. If you get so far into the story, there's something deeply beautiful about a piece of God. Saying there is no God is the greatest trick. It's the greatest symphony. It's amazing. God doesn't need it to say, I believe in God, like, for God's sake. You know what I mean? It's playing hide and seek with itself.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's like if a magician didn't know how he did it.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. You know, that's exactly right. So if you were whole and complete and everything and timeless and just a turn, and there you are and there God is, and that's the only place God ever has been. Place in quotes. But then kind of in the background or meanwhile or somewhere else or like a dream. It's also playing this game of separation. The more it forgets itself, the more impressive the trick.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. And that's what I'm kind of like, how the odds are.

[Pete Holmes]

So are we ruining it?

[Blair Carlisle]

No, we're kind of ruining it, but it's kind of. Because also it's kind of like, well, man, I thought I was really just trying to combat my ego, but I'm actually trying to combat the entire universe that's trying to make me forget.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

That I'm part of it.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I think about this, but then this is where it starts to blur. Because when you do see the shared nature of all things, it changes how you live, changes how you interact with. Let's call it the dream. And you start following things that you love. You start following things that are reflective of those values, and that actually makes the experience richer. And so it's not just ruining it. It's not the guy at the magic show that just keeps going. There's a dove in his pocket. It's not just that. It's like Vedanta. You think there's a snake in your garage, but it's actually a rope. That's a good thing to realize. That'll help you enjoy this world. It doesn't just ruin the fun.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's true.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, yeah, you just don't want to be afraid. Like, you don't want.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. You don't want to be a lizard.

[Pete Holmes]

Enjoy it. You don't want to be a lizard.

[Blair Carlisle]

Running around, running from a person trying to help it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. That's what I think. I think your Jesuses and. And take your pick of your favorites also enjoyed a meal. They also enjoyed friendship. They also enjoyed the feeling of learning something that was all there. But you just don't want to get so lost in it that you suffer. We're trying to end suffering.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Not pain. You'll always have pain. But you want to end suffering.

[Blair Carlisle]

Well, that's the thing is kind of pain. Do I have kind of feel like pain. Pain is just wanting pain to stop, you know, like the pain itself is not the thing that hurts. It's wanting it to stop as the thing that hurts.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I feel like you could say suffering.

[Blair Carlisle]

Is also wanting the suffering.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Because that's kind of the Buddhist thing is like, it's all wanting, like craving. The root of all suffering is wanting something.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And even if that's wanting the pain to stop is the wanting is the root of the suffering.

[Pete Holmes]

Or even when you're happy, wanting it to stay forever.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Wanting anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'll even do, like, if I like, stub my toe really bad and you're like, are going like, like it hurts. But like, if you go, like, something I'll do is I'll just pretend I'm an alien who's in a human body.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And be like, investigate the pain. And the second you actually lean into it, like, yeah, let me actually feel what I'm feeling right now.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

The pain changes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's also made out of light. Light meaning Something even. We say this on the show, Val and I, where, like, even your sadness is made out of. It's not quite right to say joy, but it's made out of this crackling. This is all metaphoric, colorful, morphing, vibrating ecstasy. And even. Even these, your bad feelings are made out of something that has no needs, which is another way of saying something that's very happy.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's a really good way to put it because I always think I'm like, when is the world more vibrant and alive than when I'm really sad?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know, like driving in your car, the. The sunset is more beautiful. Music hits harder. I'm like, I can't look at it before his colonoscopy.

[Pete Holmes]

You're in. You're broken. So the light is getting through.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes. But the Leonard Cohen.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. The light of. No, don't know I said that. Just kidding. The light that knows your depression is as bright and as vibrant and alive as the light that knows your happiness. So it's like the movie is playing a movie of you being very sad. And I've been heartbroken, I've been depressed, all these sort of stuff, but the screen itself is still crackling with this aliveness. Even your most drudgy, like, stodgy stuck. The knowing with which, you know, it is pristine. That's the. That's the luminous emptiness upon which your sadness is written.

[Blair Carlisle]

Man. Yeah. That's beautiful. I gotta. I'm gonna, like. I can't wait to rewatch this and re. Listen to that, like, sentence.

[Pete Holmes]

It's. Yeah, it's. It's hard to get into. I like the screen metaphor. Even when shit's bad in a movie, the screen is always the same. And that screen is consciousness, is knowing. It's funny, I was just listening to this on the way down. It's like the first step in spirituality is going, oh, I'm not my experience. I'm that. I'm the witness of my experience. So I'm not sad or happy. I'm this awareness that sees those things, those phenomenon, appear to it. And then the next kind of click in is to see that those things don't appear to the witness. They appear in the witness. There's only this, like, field of knowing. And these things emerge kind of like clouds or ink in water. They emerge inside of you. And then when you look at what those things, those feelings, those thoughts are made of, they're made only of the knowing of them. And that's when you realize there's nobody in the other boat. It's all just knowing, yes, my ketamine just kicked in. It's feeling real nice. Ketamine's not a delayed drug. I've been doing it anally this whole time.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah, of course. No, I. I was like, I was smelling. Yeah, there's gonna be the colonoscopy. Makes sense now, bro.

[Pete Holmes]

I said, while you're in there, you're in there. And it was awesome.

[Blair Carlisle]

While you're in there, treat me like a horse.

[Pete Holmes]

All right. We're brought to you by Olipop. Look, Shirley Temple. That's good right there. Just that sound makes me happy. Okay, this episode is brought to us by Olipop, which I am genuinely excited about because I have loved Olipop for real for years. One of the biggest things I care about with my health is getting enough fiber. And Olipop is a new kind of low sugar soda that actually supports digestive health. Instead of fighting against it like traditional soda, they're reimagining soda with high fiber, low sugar, and a functional ingredient blend. So you get all that classic soda taste, but made with real ingredients you can actually feel good about. And right now, they just launched their new limited edition flavor, Shirley Temple Olipop. It's their take on the classic you remember. Bright, bold, nostalgic, but updated in a new way that feels really intentional. It's the original mocktail, the one that made not drinking fun. And they're releasing it just in time for dry January. It's a flavor everyone can feel good about. Less sugar, real ingredients, and supports digestive health. Honestly, it is a win, win, win. You can get a free can of Olipop by any two cans in store and they'll pay you back for one. Works on any flavor, any retailer. Just go to drinkollipop.com weird. Olipop is sold online at drinkolipop.com and Amazon and available in the soda aisle and chilled beverage section at thousands of retailers nationwide, including Walmart and Target. Hey, I'm Rachel banner. I'm Arie McDonald and welcome to Arian Rachel Unfiltered at Unrivaled, a show where we give you all you need to know from Unrivaled and more.

[Blair Carlisle]

This season, we're talking to some of the best athletes.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm trying to watch my language.

[Blair Carlisle]

You good be you.

[Pete Holmes]

It's unfiltered. That's what we're here for. And coaches in women's basketball like Paige Beckers and Leroux.

[Blair Carlisle]

Hey, it's Paige.

[Pete Holmes]

Hi, it's Lee.

[Blair Carlisle]

And celebrity Unrivaled fans about games news. All for the fans to learn more.

[Pete Holmes]

About our journey and the folks who make unrivaled the Great League it is.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm super unfiltered. Aerie's gonna be super unfiltered because I'm going to force her to be.

[Pete Holmes]

We'll also be talking to you and answering your questions. So tune in every Thursday and find.

[Blair Carlisle]

Us on social media and all your favorite podcast platforms.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, so we didn't. I kind of thought maybe we'd start with it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Having such a nice chat. So do people know Pappy? Is this the breaking of the news?

[Blair Carlisle]

I think this is kind of the breaking of the news. Cool. I might. I mean, I might. I'm going to make. I have like a video, like a two minute video where I kind of like, explain everything that I might put out, like yesterday when this premieres.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, cool.

[Blair Carlisle]

Or today. I'm not entirely sure yet. But this is kind of like. This is definitely the first.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, this will be the, like. Okay, I made the announcement, but if you want to hear me talk about it, here's where I talked about it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Which. You don't have to do that for us, by the way. You do it how you want to do it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, no, I would love to talk about. Well, in my head, I was like, I can't think of anybody I would rather talk to this about than, like, Pete Holmes.

[Pete Holmes]

Thanks, man.

[Blair Carlisle]

Which makes me so. I. I still can't believe I'm sitting here.

[Pete Holmes]

That's very kind. Is it smaller and kind of dinkier than you thought it would be?

[Blair Carlisle]

No, it's. I mean, it's huge.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't know.

[Blair Carlisle]

The crowd stays quiet.

[Pete Holmes]

The crowd. So good. Thanks, everybody.

[Blair Carlisle]

All right. Any questions?

[Pete Holmes]

No, just a quiet. So how did Uncle Pappy start? And then how did. I mean, you're 30 years old, so when you do Pappy, you, like, lighten your mustache, by the way. Go ahead.

[Blair Carlisle]

So, like, this is gonna be very underwhelming and disappointing. Probably.

[Pete Holmes]

Like the meaning of life.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like the meaning of life. Yeah. This is me. Oh, God. I set myself up to disappoint everybody. Yeah, but the Pappy is just a Snapchat filter. It's like, just an old man Snapchat filter.

[Pete Holmes]

No way.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. And it like.

[Pete Holmes]

But why wouldn't you. I'm so. That you just saw me being 46. I'm like, well, clearly you brushed in, like, shoe polish, right? No, it's a filter.

[Blair Carlisle]

This is old man Snapchat. Yeah, it's. It Started because I, like, I know I just would make these videos as this old man on Snapchat and send them to my friends.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And was it Pappy? Was it that voice?

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, no. I mean, it was. It was. It's so funny. If you go back to, like, early Pappy, it's completely different guy.

[Pete Holmes]

Really?

[Blair Carlisle]

It's, like, kind of problematic. Like, not in a. Not in a bad way, but it's very different than what it is.

[Pete Holmes]

Old guy.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's basically an old man, like, who I'm trying to think, like, so I would just make Snapchats being like, you know, I'm, like, gonna eat this manatee. Like, being like, a crazy Florida. Florida man, you know, and, you know, basic stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna eat this manatee, you know?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Stuff that I don't.

[Pete Holmes]

Wouldn't do. Yeah. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then I have to shout out my friends, Wizards with Guns. They have a YouTube channel. And then, like, I've acted in a lot of their videos. So my best friends there's.

[Pete Holmes]

With guns.

[Blair Carlisle]

They're awesome. Check them out. They're like. They could be good guests, too. They have, like, almost a million subscribers. They're, like, big. They just. Sketch comedy.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Blair Carlisle]

But my friend Frank, who's in them, like, I would always send them to him, and he was like, dude, you should put these on, like, Instagram and TikTok.

[Pete Holmes]

Nice.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I was just like, no. Like, no, there's no way. Like, I don't want to do that. And he was like, dude, trust me. He was like, do it every day for a month. If it doesn't blow up, then stop. And I was like, okay. Like, my third video, like, went crazy, really. And it was me, like, on a boat, saying that because maritime law, I was living on a boat till tax season was over to not pay my taxes, which is me. I'm just improving. Like, I just. I didn't plan it. I was just like, I'm living on the boat till tax season's over, baby. Like, I'm eating sea turtles. And then, like, it, like, blew up.

[Pete Holmes]

Up.

[Blair Carlisle]

So then I, like, became.

[Pete Holmes]

Was that in April? Was like. Was it timely?

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, I don't even know. I think it was in April. I think it was in April's mind. Taxes are on the brain.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And, like. Which is. That's not true. Like, don't do that. That's not. Like, that doesn't work. That doesn't work.

[Pete Holmes]

They'll find you.

[Blair Carlisle]

They'll be waiting at the dog. And then. So then I started, and then So I was like, oh, my God, this actually works. I got to, like, post. Let me just post every day now. So then it kind of morphed into me originally, like, the big pappy thing was, like, uniting the left and the right of America against England. Because, like, all my videos, the original. The original enemy being, like, being like, why are we fighting in America? Don't we remember what they did? And I would, like, you know, eat beans on toast and, like, talk about how disgusting it was and just talk about, like, praise George Washington. Like, he was like, Jesus. And, like, I would, like, come, like, do, like. So I was, like, this very patriotic guy, and I was all, like, a satirical kind of character.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And I won't even wear a red coat. No.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, exactly. I'll be out there, like, on 4th of July. I was like, you guys are not gonna believe it. George Washington came, and there's, like, all fireworks and stuff. All my chimney.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And a fireplace. And then Ben Shapiro shared one of my videos and, like, reacted to it.

[Pete Holmes]

Nice.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I'm. This might be surprised. I'm not a big fan of Ben Shapiro.

[Pete Holmes]

I thought you meant Ben Schwartz when you said that. I went right to Ben Schwartz.

[Blair Carlisle]

The other. They get. They're very similar.

[Pete Holmes]

I know. Ben Shapiro. Conservative.

[Blair Carlisle]

Conservative, right wing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Blair Carlisle]

Guy.

[Pete Holmes]

Where's the Yamaka?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I'm just. I just don't. I'm politically. I'm not aligned with Ben Shapiro. And he also, like, is very kind of confrontational and controversial, like.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I know, I know. I understand. He says a lot of things that I don't agree with as well.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. So he shared one of your videos.

[Blair Carlisle]

He, like, made a reaction video to one of my videos. And I remember, like, my sister and people, like, all messaged me, like, did you see this? And I was like. That was like. When I kind of was like, maybe I. Now that I have a following, maybe I don't want to, like, just be sharing, like, crazy patriotic, controversial.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, did Ben love it?

[Blair Carlisle]

Was he, like. He was just giggling. It was, like, the happiest I've ever seen him.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And it's like, him, like, giggling, looking at me in a pond. Yeah. And I was kind of like, maybe if I. Like, it was the first time where I kind of had to grapple that people were watching me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. So what are you gonna say?

[Blair Carlisle]

Because it was all a joke. Yeah. I was like, oh, my. Like, it's all been a joke. Kind of just like, this is hilarious. I don't like. I don't know, I like what is happening, but I'm just gonna keep making these videos. And then I kind of was like, people are listening to me. The Internet is already such a just nightmarish, you know, controversial hellscape.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I have like, of a zootopia opposite of Z. And we. And I'd have like British people in my comments like, why do you hate us? And I would just be like, you know, don't. Like, what gives you the right to comment on Americans Instagram? Like, you know, like, I was just like being like very anti England because just, I just thought it was hilarious to be like, it's like nobody just hates on England openly. So I just. And then I kind of was like reckoned with it. I was like, you know what? Like, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to like, make people feel bad. Even like, comedic negativity is still just negativity.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, sure.

[Blair Carlisle]

Which I think a lot of people don't realize.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, a lot of like, I love it's your Persona.

[Pete Holmes]

It's still hard to be like, it's still in that way all the day. Yeah, all the day.

[Blair Carlisle]

All the live long day. And then like, if also a lot of comedians give non comedians in their mind permission to have the same takes. Oh, and then I'm like, I don't, I don't know if I want like some dude, you know, confronting a British guy in his hometown.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Thinking it's funny because of me. Where I'm, you know what I mean? So I'm kind of. I like really had to be like, I, even, even if I like, even if my followers drop or whatever, I was just like, I don't want to keep doing this. So I just was like, you know, I've been on a philosophical like, journey just through, you know, I've had like depression since I was like 13. Oh, wow. And like, even when I was like in seventh or eighth grade, I like was like kicked out of school for a month to go to therapy because they said I was like, they were like worried about me. So, like, I like, have kind of dealt with some darkness and then through. And that's probably also. I used to drink all the time. And then through stopping drinking and like consciously being like, what do I want my life to be? Like, I like, you know, journal all the time. And so then I kind of was like, well, let me just start going through my journals and just start talking about the stuff that I journal about. And so, And I remember thinking, like, this will probably, like, make me, like, lose followers or whatever, because, you know, a guy talking about philosophy is a lot less eye catching than a dude screaming about England and George Washington.

[Pete Holmes]

But I love that this is the story.

[Blair Carlisle]

I know. It's.

[Pete Holmes]

You have to give people what they want, and then you can give them what you want.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that sounds like a bait and switch. It's not a trick. It's like, well, Ramana Maharshi, one of my favorites, would say, I give people what they want, so they'll want what I give.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's good. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

He meant he would do miracles. And then they'd stick around and he'd be like, by the way. You know what I mean? So you did. I'm not saying you're Ruhmana Maharshi. I'm just saying you. You. It's a common thing to go like, oh, now that you're all here, I'm glad you liked my juggling. Like, yeah, I'm gonna. Can I tell you what's not to be cheesy, but what's in my heart.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, no, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And. And, like, I truly felt like people are gonna be like, what is this? Like, this is not who we like. Who. I.

[Pete Holmes]

What was the first one?

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, you never did a.

[Pete Holmes]

One where you're like, hey, man, I'm sorry about England, man. I love you guys.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, I probably should. No, this is my England apology tour. England, I'm sorry, man.

[Pete Holmes]

If I know anything about the Brits, you're okay. They'll be like, no. No worries. All right? Every polite. They'll be fine.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm trying, honestly, I think the very first one that I did that wasn't, like, really controversial is still one of my most, like, viewed videos where I just said, like, I don't know about y', all, but today I'm gonna have a great day and just be like, I don't care if someone is rude to me. I don't care if someone, like, cuts me off in traffic. Like, I'm just deciding right now I'm gonna have a great day. And, like, I truly. It's so funny. All of the videos that were, like, kind of the biggest ones were what I thought were just throwaway.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow. Yeah. It's never what you think.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's never what you think.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'll spend, like, an hour researching some, like, thought that I want to get right, and then it just is, like, sizzles. Nothing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, nothing fizzles.

[Blair Carlisle]

Fizzles. And, yeah, it doesn't Sizzle, no sizzle.

[Pete Holmes]

Fizzle, no sizzle.

[Blair Carlisle]

Pure fizzle.

[Pete Holmes]

He walks in. Sorry. Any. Anywhere two or more gathered or fizzling and fizzling. Snoop Dogg shows up.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, he's a Bloody Mary. You can't say something that ends with izzle three times.

[Pete Holmes]

If you say izzle three times in a mirror, Snoop shows up. You'll smell him first. Oh, yeah, It's a weed joke. Keep going.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then. And then that popped off, and I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, this is pretty cool. And then I started thinking, like, you know, because a lot my videos were, like, half and half split between people who agreed with my hate on England, and then people. You know what I mean? And then people who, like, viewed it ironically and thought it was funny. Yeah. And so then I was like, this is. It's a very strange situation.

[Pete Holmes]

A weird comb to have to sift through and be like, well, this guy thinks I really hate England.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes. Yes, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

But he shared it. You know what I mean? Like.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, helping it get out there.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, he should. Yeah, exactly. It'd be like a dude in like. Like a maga hat. Like, where his profile pictures, like, him in his car, which is just like, every guy in a maga has profile pictures. And then he'd be like, I don't.

[Pete Holmes]

Want to look like they tried. Yeah. This is a new. It's not just Maga. It's everybody. Everybody. No, you're in their posts in their car. They'll bring a studio microphone and do, like, a huge musical performance. But relax. I was just in my car.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not being too vulnerable.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, Yeah. I didn't try.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I was just in my car.

[Blair Carlisle]

I was in my car. Pointing west towards the sun.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. With a light.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Perfect. Every. And I did nine takes. Why is trying embarrassing? Just try a little bit.

[Blair Carlisle]

I agree.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna get out there and I'm gonna try, and if I fail, it's fine.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's my thing. I have a video about this.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you?

[Blair Carlisle]

Where I literally say, I'm like, it. It should be way more embarrassing to not try.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, why is it cool to not try?

[Pete Holmes]

Fail faster.

[Blair Carlisle]

Fail faster.

[Pete Holmes]

Get some fails under your belt.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's the thing. I'm like, we need to normalize trying and having fun and being excited. People also are embarrassed to be excited about things.

[Pete Holmes]

I. Yes.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm like, that's one of the. One of the points of life is be excited about it.

[Pete Holmes]

I know, I know. And this manufactured casualness where it's like. Like, every video starts with the phone coming up. It's like, you know what I mean? Like, we know what you're doing.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's okay that you're doing what you're. Like, if aliens were looking at us, they'd be like. And they pretend like they don't care that you're watching, but that's how they want you to watch.

[Blair Carlisle]

And we like it.

[Pete Holmes]

But if you just have, like, a high, like, we hate that. But there's gotta be a middle ground.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Isn't. Why is it embarrassing to try? I was thinking about this with the singing. It's more embarrassing to be sharp than flat, in a way.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, interesting.

[Blair Carlisle]

Because in my head, I'm like, you're trying more. That's what I mean.

[Pete Holmes]

Clip it. Why is it more embarrassing to be sharp than flat? Flat is like, I don't care.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. People are like.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's hard to sing sharp. But.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, it's the same. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Too much effort.

[Blair Carlisle]

Too much effort.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then people think, like, if you're like, flat, if you act like you don't care. People like, oh, we got him to do it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, we convinced him. Like, how lucky are we?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

This guy who. Or girl who doesn't care is doing this. And then it's like, if you're trying too hard, if you're, like, dancing too hard at a wedding, and everyone's like, got a load of, you know, fancy pants over there, it's like, isn't the point of life to just be excited about things?

[Pete Holmes]

No. I also think sometimes we envy. If I'm really bitter towards somebody and judging them, it's sometimes because I'm envious.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Their freedom.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, there's, you know, there are definitely people in my life who, like. Who genuinely don't care what people think about them.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And not as an excuse to be an. Or anything, but just genuinely, like, they're nice people, but they're genuinely like, I don't. I don't know. And I have a tremendous amount of envy towards them.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, I'm like, yeah, but, you know, it's funny. I like the rapper Mac Miller. You know, Mac Miller. But that. It's not. But. And that style is very like, oh, we're just. We're just recording. I'm not making fun of it.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, no, no.

[Pete Holmes]

And yet I'm like, I know for sure he cared more about that song than you've cared about you or I. Yeah. Anything in our lives. And they did it over and over. And they got it. Doesn't mean it's insincere. That's fucking dope. He really wanted it to sound casual. And to get there, you had to be the least casual you've ever been about anything.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. No, it's.

[Pete Holmes]

We're going again.

[Blair Carlisle]

I didn't sound relaxed enough.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't sound relaxed enough. I think that's cool.

[Blair Carlisle]

I do think it is cool.

[Pete Holmes]

But behind it a lot. Behind a dude who's going in the lane of, like, I know it's cool to look like you're not trying. There was a lot of trying.

[Blair Carlisle]

A lot of trying.

[Pete Holmes]

And that makes it bad. That makes it cooler.

[Blair Carlisle]

It is. It's kind of like. Like Dolly or, like. Or Picasso, where, like, you have to become an expert at the painting before you can break all the rules.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And it's kind of the same with not trying.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, that's right.

[Blair Carlisle]

But that's like.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, we want to jump to the not trying.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

People. Yeah. Don't earn the not trying.

[Pete Holmes]

People jump to Monet. Is it Monet?

[Blair Carlisle]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

No, not Monet. Who do I mean? Jackson Pollock. Oh, they jumped up to Pollock. People are run. People trip over themselves.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

With stand up, too. I see a lot of. And look, I love anybody that's brave enough to do stand up. But a lot of us are newer guys, newer girls, getting up there and trying to act like, I haven't planned. I don't care. Some of them can do it brilliantly. So don't get me wrong. I'm not even thinking about anybody in particular. But, like, there's. You gotta kind of. Well, you don't gotta do anything. I found value in learning how to write a joke. You know what I mean?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Now I sound like an old man.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, no, no.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just saying, when I would see Louis or somebody who really is just communicating, it, like, seems like they really are just kind of jazzing it up there. And they know how they feel in there, but they find it, and they're hilarious. I'm like, yeah, listen to Louis. First cd. It's like real jokes he's really doing. Like, not. I don't mean like Mitch Edberg, but I mean, like, that you got to build that foundation. Or that's one way to do it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Like, there's almost math to it. You know, there's.

[Pete Holmes]

That's exactly right.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then now it is kind of just like the. You're. You are the. The thing, you know, the story is the joke. I like I mean, I just, I'm a big stand up fan too. I love talking about that too.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Blair Carlisle]

I have to give a shout out last night. I was hanging with Dusty Slay. Oh, nice friend of the show.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's great.

[Blair Carlisle]

It was, it was like one of the like only times I've ever felt like I made it. I'm like sitting like I'm at the Hollywood Improv. I'm like, oh my God, this is crazy.

[Pete Holmes]

Were you upstairs?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah, we were like after the show.

[Pete Holmes]

Finally have to duck under that little.

[Blair Carlisle]

It was.

[Pete Holmes]

I love all show business.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm like, anytime I have to creep into a place, I'm having a good time.

[Pete Holmes]

I love, like, that's why I like the comedy story. Like all these like weird, fun house. So at the Hollywood Improv, the green room, there's a room, you go up some stairs and there's a room. But then there's like, like a bookshelf door where there would be a fireplace and as low as a fireplace that you have to go lower yourself to go under and then you're in the green room. And I'm like, it's real Chuck E. Cheese shit. And I love it. They should never change it.

[Blair Carlisle]

I agree. And I'm looking at all the pictures on the wall and I'm like sitting on this couch, I'm like, I can't.

[Pete Holmes]

Imagine skinny Craig Robinson. Although Craig Robinson is skinny again. But like there's like a dreamy Craig Robinson photo. He's in a suit. Dude. I don't know if you found that one.

[Blair Carlisle]

It was so good. I like. Because that's one of the funny things too is like this. Now there's like four times because like, I don't know, a lot of people will say like, oh, like you have like all these followers. You do this stuff. You must be making like so much money and doing all this stuff. I'm like, my like life hasn't really changed because nobody knows because I've like, even in law school, most people don't know because I'm like just. I don't know. I just keep it separate. So last night and like this are moments where I'm like, oh my God, the atoms of my life are different now. This is crazy to me, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. So that's. Keep going with. With pappy.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't mean to derail you.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, no.

[Pete Holmes]

Because it is interesting that it sounds you're in law school and by the way, there's no judgment here. I'm not like, oh, you're not trying to go full time Pappy. Like, you are doing other things. You're interested in other things.

[Blair Carlisle]

They've informed each other, going, yeah, it's kind of. Well, because Pappy, like popped off the summer before I started law school and I like, my whole family and I had a big, like, meeting because I was like, do I not go to law school?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And one of the only time, One of the first. The first time, like anything happened to me because of Pappy in the real world was I like, filmed an ad with Glenn Howerton from It's Always Sunny for their, like their four walls. Like bourbon, you know, which is funny. This was back when I was like very patient.

[Pete Holmes]

Four walls kazoo.

[Blair Carlisle]

The four walls kazoo. Exactly. Which is funny too, because this is back before I was like, like myself. This is when I was like the character. So even though I didn't drink, I'm like this Pappy who hates England would definitely be doing a bird. Like, you know, I was viewed it more of like a Pee Wee Herman. Like, it's like a character.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And that moment was a moment where I was like, this, like, life is real. Like, I can't believe I'm standing here because I'm a huge It's Always Funny fan. I used to have a YouTube channel where I would like, review the openings to It's Always Funny channels as like a bit.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Blair Carlisle]

And so I was standing there and he told me not to go to law school.

[Pete Holmes]

Really?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. He's like, so what are you doing? I was like, I'm about to start law school. He's like, don't do it, man. And I'm like, God, now Glenn told me not to do it.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't.

[Blair Carlisle]

But then my family, they were like.

[Pete Holmes]

Guy who looks like everyone in law school told you not to go to law school, don't do it. Well, he might be on to something.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like me.

[Pete Holmes]

It's all guys like me, but they're not joking.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, they're not joking.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

But then I was like, you know what? I'm like, you know what? Why not? Let me see.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

I was like, I still going to post every day. Even like every, like the morning of my finals, I'm like, in class, like, posting at 9:00am oh, wow. Thing. Wow. And it actually like, worked out amazingly because I'm like, in environmental law, like, learning all these things now. I've been able to like, use Pappy to like, help environmental issues. Like, I've worked with like, friends of The Everglades and, like, the More Perfect Union, like, making videos about the national park system. And this summer, I'm, like, going. I'm doing this thing with this environmental group called Nature's Nonpartisan, and they're launching a thing called United by Nature. That's basically just being like, politics are everywhere. But, like, can we all just agree on nature like that? Like, we need to, like, band together because we all breathe air and drink water.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And, like, nature has inherent value, no matter if you can't put a price tag on certain things. And so I'm, like, doing, like, a road trip across the country, like, meeting people and interviewing, you know, politicians and environmentalists and things. Which all is, like, kind of stemmed from, like, being an environmental law, which is my, like, biggest passion. So it's all worked out incredibly. So I'm, like, super happy about it. And it's just. I don't know, just fun. Fun. Just doing. I just want to do everything I can. Yeah. You know, I just love doing things.

[Pete Holmes]

It's great. It's great.

[Blair Carlisle]

So. Yes. And, like. Yeah. Glenn told me not to go to law school. I'm sorry, Glenn. And then I did. I am in law school now.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, good for you. That's very pappy.

[Blair Carlisle]

It is very pappy. You know, And I learned things about justice, about philosophy. Like, in class, I'll be like. Like, oh, I gotta make a video about that. You know? Like, it's like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

I don't know. It all informs everything. So I'm. I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

It's.

[Blair Carlisle]

I don't know. Life has been. I, like, feel like I, like, cheated in life because I just don't feel like the luckiest person on Earth.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, to be able to do several amazing things. Right. I mean.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. I love. I love it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And when the video popped off that conversation when you were like, should I not go? Were you, like, monetized? And when I say monetizing, I don't mean that in a dirty way. I just meant, like, like, oh, this could be my job. Like, I could just do this.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, I think I could. I could. I mean, I had cameo, but I had. I kind of. I stopped doing that because I was just like, I don't want to take money from people, you know, who don't know that I'm not this guy, you know? So I did. I did cameo for a while, like, as the character. And then I kind of. Kind of similar to when Ben, like, Shapiro shared the thing. I kind of had a reckoning where I'm like, is this right to do. I don't know. And then, like, kind of the same thing. Like, in my head, I'm like, I would love to have a Patreon. I would love to, like, do some subscription, like, kind of thing where I, like, can do, like, you know, I'd love to do live shows.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, why Nobody would be like, you know, Pee Wee's another guy, right?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, I love. I mean, Peewee. I grew up Pee Wee's Big Adventure. I can, like, quote the whole movie. I love Peewee.

[Pete Holmes]

But couldn't you protect yourself with the Pee Wee clause? This is a concern.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's true. But I also feel like anytime you have to protect yourself, you might not be doing the best something right. You know, like, just even the thought of, like, well, if people get mad at me, I can say this. Even just having that thought, I'm like, well, am I doing, like, if I was doing the right thing, I wouldn't have to have that thought, you know? So I've kind of stopped, like, but now I'm like, I would love to be able to do things, like, do in person things. Do the road trip. And so I don't know. I. I know. It's just been a wild thing. I forgot, like, what we were talking about.

[Pete Holmes]

We're just talking about the. Your ethical consideration, which is interesting to me because when we started talking and you were like, I have a bombshell. I'm 30 years old. I'm not this guy. I didn't. Well, I'm. I'm in show business. But I wasn't like, well, this ruins it. How do you feel, Katie? Do you get. If people would be like, hey, They could be mad I missed the Internet.

[Blair Carlisle]

I mean, I feel like just the Internet people. It's the Internet. People will be mad at, like, the Dalai Lama. Yeah, no, that's the thing. And I also just been very conscious about, like, trying to do everything right. So they couldn't. But I also am, like, one of the big things, too, is people go, like. I don't know, like, people. I don't know if people would have listened to wisdom from me if they knew I was 30. Right. You know, which is kind of funny because most of my followers are between 25 and 35. And one of the. One of the things I want to kind of get hammered home to the world with this, like, revealing, is that people, young people, are worth listening to, too.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Blair Carlisle]

And that, like, wisdom isn't, like, age, like, the cliche that, like, wisdom comes with old age. I'M like, it does kind of naturally because wisdom comes from suffering and learning. But, like, there's a lot of old people who aren't wise, too.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And there's a lot of young people who are 10 times wiser than any old person that I've known. And being like. I feel like so much of the younger generation has almost imposter syndrome in certain things. Like with politics, all of our. Most of our politicians are super old. Like, I, like, want to tell people, like, in their 20s and 30s, like, this is art. This is your world.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, that's right.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, everybody's faking it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah, Everybody.

[Blair Carlisle]

Even the old people are all faking it. Nobody knows anything.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And so I'm like, who better than you?

[Pete Holmes]

I. I mean, I find the older I get, the more you can start getting a little bit rigid and creaky, just like your body.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And again, I called you Ramana Maharshi. Now I'll call you Jesus. But Jesus was 30 when he did his ministry. Clip it. No, no. I just mean, like, 30 to me doesn't seem that young. Obviously it does on one level, but it doesn't mean, like, invalid. And neither does 22 for that. You know what I mean? There's 17, eight. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of kids, like, like, my daughter, for sure.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Leela saying, like, you yelled after they left.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Is something that, like, Ram Dass could have said, you know? And they're like. They've zoomed out and they've been like, you said you had a reason for doing that, but did you know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I remember having that superpower as a kid, being like, but that's bullshit. You know, she wasn't mad about it, but she was. You just fibbed and I was like, I didn't even know I did it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That's. That's a special kind of seeing.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's. Well, because I feel like the older you get, the less free will you have.

[Pete Holmes]

That's kind of what I'm saying. What I don't like about getting older is, unfortunately, I start thinking I know real. Like, I'm like, I'm done. How I feel about this, you know, Like, I'll have categories. Like, sealed off.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That's why I'm like, well, you should learn how to write jokes. I'm like, wow. I really think. I know that's not a. Ram Dass used to talk about, like, we should grade things by how spacious they are, how, like, welcoming and open they are. You should have your. Your compass. But Like, I think that's one of the things youth has for sure is. Is less rigidity.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. I mean, that's like, one of, like, all the greatest masters in any, like, discipline. One thing they all have in common is they say they're students, you know, like, nobody's like, I am the master. I figured it out. And then, like, it's just like, the best. I, like, had a woodworking. I, like, had a woodworking business during COVID for, like, four years before I went to law school. And like, every woodworker I ever, like, worked with or talked to, people who would make the most incredible, ornate things. Like, you could always tell. I could always tell people I'd want to work with because they'd be like, what are you doing? Like, how. Like, you've only been doing this for a few years, but, like, want to learn something new from me, even though I just learned from YouTube, and I'm just like, right. And then there's the people who are like, kind of the assholes who are like, all right, let me tell you something about how to do this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And then, like, you can tell just how good. Well, somebody does something by how open they are to learning more about it.

[Pete Holmes]

You're absolutely right.

[Blair Carlisle]

And that's like. That's like kind of the. Oh, my God. Who. It's. I think it was like, Carl Jung or like, miss. It's like, misattributed to Carl Young where it says, like, between stimulus and a response, there is a window. And in that window is, like, your freedom to choose. And like, I'm like, that window is, like, free will. And that, like, if you can make. The longer you. The wider you make that window. Window, the more. The more control you have over who you actually want to be.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And the older you get, the smaller that wisdom window closes.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree.

[Blair Carlisle]

You're more reactive where you're just like. You know, someone cuts you off and you just say, well, that's why old.

[Pete Holmes]

People are such bummers to hang out with. I'll be talking to, let's say, someone in my family, but you bring up a topic and you're like, I know.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know, I'm gonna say, you can, like, mouth. You can, like, mouth it like this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And I know it's story that's going to make you think of. And I have to be compassionate towards myself because I know I do that on this podcast. If I listen to an episode of this podcast, you'll say something and I'll be like, I know one of the five things I'm going to say so we have to stay elastic as much as we can and be patient when we're not. But old people do tend to not work enough on their elasticity.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's the thing. And I mean, young people do it, too. A lot of young. I feel like it's almost a trap now. Is that young? It's almost like pre packaged dancers.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Where like, you pick your label and then you let the label tell you how you would respond to any stimulus.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Blair Carlisle]

You know, and that's like. Like that window is getting smaller for younger people now, too.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I want to be like, no, like, you're not supposed to figure it out. You're not supposed to have a label.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Groups are really tricky.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, when I. When I found out Republicans were pro tobacco, I thought that was so weird. Like, like, for some reason, I was like, well, why? It kills so many people. And my friend who I really loved, it was my first. First Republican I had ever really met. He was like, it's an American crop. It makes a lot of money. And I was like, you're. This is a talking point.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I know you don't like cigarettes, but you also heard Tucker Carlson say that it's an American crop. And now you're saying that to me. And then I have my own versions of that. Being liberal. Like, I'd be like, oh, we believe that.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, okay, we believe that. And I'm like, this is a weird little dance we're doing.

[Blair Carlisle]

I have. That's my thing. I'm like, that. I, like, feel like.

[Pete Holmes]

I know.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's like, there's nothing more nauseating than like a guy in a podcast being like, this is why we're so divided these days.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

But I'm also. It's like, people are. I'm like, what are the odds that this group agrees with every single thing that you think?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, it's like. And it's almost like the onus for real changes for the people within the group to be able to call each other out, like, on both sides.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, and I always, like, want to challenge people. I'm like, find one thing you agree with the other side about.

[Pete Holmes]

Yep.

[Blair Carlisle]

And one thing you disagree with your side about and, like, start having conversations.

[Pete Holmes]

It's very similar to religion in that way. It's. You become. And I don't mean truly political, engaged people. I mean, a lot of people are just like, this is my group in the way that you're like, we're Episcopal. Meaning they'll think about it. For me.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. It's easy.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. But, like, if we started society over and it was just me and you and five, six, seven other people, you might find out our true feelings about whatever. By the way, this isn't code. I'm not holding some secret thing that I believe or disagree with. I'm just saying, like, a lot of times I'll catch myself going like, well, that's my party. Because it's lazy.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

In the same way that you'll go like, well, I'm Catholic. I believe in purgatory.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And, well, I'm. I'm not Catholic. I don't believe in purgatory. It's like, well, can we really talk about what a purgatory is? Like, what is it?

[Blair Carlisle]

Why?

[Pete Holmes]

What's that?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, just be like, why, why? Why do you believe in purgatory?

[Pete Holmes]

And a lot of times it's like, because that's what my team believes in. And. And that's another reason I'm. I'm not, like, I'm not anti sports, but I'm not crazy about it. It's like, I'm. I'm a Red Sox fan. I hate the Yankees, and I can't stand Derek Jeter. And I'm like, wait, we all hate the same things. Like, I get. There's fun in that, but you can see when you start burning cars, it gets a little weird.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah, that's a good. That's a good point. I mean, it's like, yeah, I'm always like, you got. I love. There's nothing I love more than, like, arguing with my left wing friends about things because I'm like, I am a very. I'm like a very more liberal, like, lean. More liberal about a lot of things. And I love just being like, why? Why do you think that? Like, why do we, like, like, you know, or to make it less confrontational, why do we think that? You know?

[Pete Holmes]

Sure.

[Blair Carlisle]

And that's like, for people on both sides. Word of advice, if you hear somebody say something, just be like, why do we think that?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And if they can't explain it, I.

[Pete Holmes]

Would say that Verbigli and I both, as liberal leaning people, we love having conversations where we're like. But it's a little weird that we're like. Or like, why? I don't understand why. And we talk like, in code, like it's the red scare.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I hope no one's. But we just want to unpack things. Sometimes we do Unpack and realize we are aligned with what our politicians are saying. But sometimes we're not. And it's so weird. Again, now we are two white men on a podcast talking about how divided we are. But I don't like that. I see, like that guy at the airport. I see with a mag hat and I'm just like, I'll assume 15 things about him. And he sees my fucking sleeping bag shoes and he assumes.

[Blair Carlisle]

I know it does.

[Pete Holmes]

They're great. He assumes 15 things about me. And I'm like, God damn it. So much of life is like, yeah, but if we were stuck in an elevator or if society started over and it was just my family and your family, it's. I've said this a million times, but it's the movie Green Book. A racist takes a black guy on tour. And guess what? At the end, he's not a racist. But we don't have time to go on road trips for everybody we disagree with. Yeah, but if we did, we would. We would be converted.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes. There's nothing I love more than finding out I'm wrong about something.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Especially, like, because I have. I'm like, from central Florida. Like, I went to a super right wing high school. Like, I went to, like, grew up in the Villages.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Which like, the world's largest retirement community. So strange. I didn't realize it was a weird place to grow up until I left.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I went to college. I'm like, there's not old people everywhere on Earth.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, weird.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's weird.

[Pete Holmes]

Where are your old folks at?

[Blair Carlisle]

Where are. Yeah, where all the golf carts.

[Pete Holmes]

And it turns out it was all a filter.

[Blair Carlisle]

It was. Everyone in the Villages is a young. Sorry, they.

[Pete Holmes]

And then.

[Blair Carlisle]

So, like, in high school or like in like middle school and high school. Like, I remember all my close friends were like, you're the first Democrat I ever met. Like, in middle school. And then I went to, like a very liberal arts college. And everyone in college was like, you're like the most, like, right wing guy ever met. I'm like, I'm not right wing. I'm liberal. And they'd be like, you're from central Florida. Like, what are you talking about? And then I love being contrarian too. Like, I know myself. I'm like, if I hang out with a group of super left leaning people, I will, like, make people mad just for the sake of talking about stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm that way socially.

[Blair Carlisle]

And vice versa. Yeah, socially, I don't believe. But I just love just kind of getting to the heart of certain things.

[Pete Holmes]

I've never really talked about this. Like, if we're hanging out with somebody who's incredibly. And we have some very dear friends that I love that are incredibly. It's funny, I don't like the word woke, but like, I've used this example before. They were mad that there was a Basque cheesecake on a menu that was at a. I think it was a restaurant that wasn't Basque. So they're like, there's some colonization happening here.

[Blair Carlisle]

What's my favorite dessert? Literally my number one favorite dessert.

[Pete Holmes]

Really? So good. And then luckily Val was there and she actually. My sister in law is Baskin. Knows more the history and was like, actually, that's not what's happening. But also just like, if I'm with somebody that I know is really. And I love that person, but if they're really kind of tight or rigid in that way, I get real sloppy. I get real, like, weird and like provocateur.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just. Just for fun.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We're all on the same side, but like.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, exactly. It's like turbulence, you know, I'm like, turbulence. I'm like, I'm. Don't worry. You don't have to worry. I'm not gonna like. But it's.

[Pete Holmes]

I love you. But also. And to that person's credit, by the way, when I start doing that, they're always. It might be a little bumpy at first, but we'll reach a cruising.

[Blair Carlisle]

We'll let.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, we'll turn off. You'll be reclining. You'll watch the movie.

[Blair Carlisle]

I hate to do this. Could I pee real?

[Pete Holmes]

You may pee.

[Blair Carlisle]

I have like a bladder the size of a quarter. I'm like, I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

No, thank.

[Blair Carlisle]

Go to the hospital.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you for asking. And there's a doctor in there. Sorry to interrupt.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, no worries about nature.

[Pete Holmes]

We love nature. Nature as a bad. You'll appreciate this as a environmental lawyer. It's kind of the word. It's not very good. Like, hey, we all care about nature.

[Blair Carlisle]

Nature.

[Pete Holmes]

I think most people go to, like, boring. Mm. Like, nothing to eat, no boobs. You know what I mean? There's nothing to have sex with. There's nothing to eat. I mean, that's not true. It has the feeling of no eating. I know.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's the thing.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know. Bugs. I love nature. I'm just saying, like, what. What Nature act. And this will bring us into our final segment here. What nature actually evokes is that stillness. Like a lot of Buddhists point to the sky or the woods. Something still and present reminds us of what's still and present about us. So being in green spaces lowers your blood pressure, but what you're actually. I'm not saying you're not enjoying nature, but what you're actually enjoying is like experiencing the stillness in you by having it reflected in your environment. But the mind will always think that that's nothing. In the very same way, it's hard for me to get people interested, not that I need them to be in what I find most interesting, which is our nature, because the mind will always get into that sacred space, very similar to being in the woods or floating in a pond, and go, this is actually nothing. I'm not achieving anything. I'm not winning. I'm not eating, I'm not pleasure sensing. I'm not spiking my dopamine. I'm just here. So it's hard to get the brain to understand what's so amazing about nature and our own reality.

[Blair Carlisle]

I mean, I think, I mean, nature, I'm like, my biggest philosophy, like, person ever is Ralph Waldo Emerson.

[Pete Holmes]

Nice, bro.

[Blair Carlisle]

He. He's.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I'm from New England.

[Blair Carlisle]

He is the best. Yeah, exactly. Like, because he's also like, America's first, like a philosopher and that's like, the ideas were uniquely American and they're all just about the importance of nature. Like, he is so much about nature that, like, God is nature. And like he says, like, no matter what tragedies befall me, there's nothing that could befall me that isn't remedied by being out in nature. And like, if you just think about, like, for human history for hundreds of thousands of years.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, of course being in nature is the right thing. Like, makes sense.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, there's something about a mountain that was there before you were born and will be there after you die.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That will give you two types of scale, your own smallness. Ryan Hamilton. Ryan Holiday. Ryan Hamilton's a comedian. Ryan Holiday. I love Ryan Holiday, who's also a stoic, obviously. He says, like, it's very important every day to be near something that's bigger than you. Yeah. So the ocean or a tree or a mountain gives you that type of scale, but also the scale of time. Like this thing predates you by hundreds, thousands of years. Yeah. That'll make you a little less worried about. I'm not making fun of you coming out as a 30 year old.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm deeply closeted, young man.

[Pete Holmes]

Katie and I were saying when you Were in the bathroom. We see a future where Uncle Pappy's Instagram and TikTok just says, Uncle Pappy is a character by Blair, blah, blah. And, like, people rolling with that because who cares? They'll be mad for a little while, we think.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But then, like, if I got a cameo from you and I knew it was you doing Peewee, your Peewee Herman was like, peewee.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like Hannah Montana. It's like a very strange Hannah Montana situation.

[Pete Holmes]

Just be me being Batman. Nobody thinks I'm Batman. You know what I'm saying? Like, I get that you didn't say, hi, I'm doing a comedy. I think that's gonna go away. The sting of that will go away pretty quickly.

[Blair Carlisle]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

I think so. For sure.

[Blair Carlisle]

I hope so. And I mean, I also say, like, if people. It does put people off, then I understand that too. Like, I'm not gonna. I don't think anyone would. Everyone is free. But also just. I'm still gonna make Pappy videos.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. It's like my best. He's my best friend. I love hanging out with him.

[Pete Holmes]

I think it's gonna be like, a 1% of the thing will be whatever they are, and it'll last however long it lasts. But most people will be like, me and Katie that are just like, I love these videos. No, Nobody's like, this guy better have a license that says Gerald Happy on it. You better say Gerald Pappy, man.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, wait, can I say something about the mountains that you think of?

[Pete Holmes]

Unfortunately, we have, like, five American minutes.

[Blair Carlisle]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

And how do you feel about that? I. I hate that we have to rap, but. Oh, no. So fast.

[Blair Carlisle]

No worries. Oh, man. Let me.

[Pete Holmes]

How about 10American minutes? I can be a little late.

[Blair Carlisle]

Oh, man. I don't want to make you late or anything, but I know we got to talk about laughing.

[Pete Holmes]

The hardest laugh. And, well, you also have ghosts. You told me ghosts.

[Blair Carlisle]

I do have a ghost story.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Because Pappy does talk about the meaning of life so much that I feel like we're good on clip or whatever we need to do, but we don't have your ghosts and we don't have your laugh, so let's do that.

[Blair Carlisle]

Okay. The go. I mean, ghost. This is just a ghost story, you know, it's yours. Mine, yes. And so basically, I was on a road trip going up to New York, and I was staying in Lexington, Virginia, like an old kind of Civil War town. I was staying in this old hotel, and I had. I mean, I'll make it kind of fast.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't have to at all.

[Blair Carlisle]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

That was me seeing. I wear this embarrassing fanny pack. It has an EpiPen for my daughter in it, and I'm always worried that it's showing. I don't want people to think that I just wear a fanny pack.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm just open carrying of EpiPen.

[Pete Holmes]

I have an open carry for an EpiPen. I'll take you out with it. I'll adrenalize you.

[Blair Carlisle]

I know it's not adrenaline, but anyway. Oh, yeah. So I'm in this old hotel.

[Pete Holmes]

Old hotel. Civil war town.

[Blair Carlisle]

Civil war town. And I have sleep paralysis, which I've only. This I've only had three times. So I'm, like, paralyzed. I like, open my eyes. There's like a dead kid sitting on my chest.

[Pete Holmes]

What?

[Blair Carlisle]

And, like, have you ever had sleep paralysis?

[Pete Holmes]

Val gets it, and it sounds awful.

[Blair Carlisle]

It's the worst. But I know this isn't a ghost I've had. I'm like, I know this sleep paralysis, but you're, like, fighting to break out.

[Pete Holmes]

You say a dead kid, though. He's just pale.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, he's is like. It was like this kid who's, like, gray, who's, like, face had looked like it had been, like, caved in by a cannonball.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh.

[Blair Carlisle]

It was like a very scary looking.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Kid.

[Blair Carlisle]

And so I'm, like, paralyzed. This kissing in my chest.

[Pete Holmes]

And then very Salem witch trials, by the way.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

The sitting on the chest was like a big part of the, like. What's it called when you're. When you're on the stand, Your testimony.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Be like, I woke up and she was sitting on my chest. A lot of sleep paralysis. A lot of visions. Yeah, yeah. That's what.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's what they said.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what it was. Look, this is what it was before the Internet. People were just seeing their neighbor, envying her land, and then having a weird vision.

[Blair Carlisle]

We. Oh. So then I finally break out. I'm, like, out of breath. Because when you're, like, fighting the paralysis, you're, like, fighting with every then. So I'm, like, out of breath. I'm, like, in the room. I'm like, okay. I'm like, okay, that was sleep paralysis, but whatever. Like laying in the bed kind of out of breath, and then I, like, feel somebody sit down on the bed next.

[Pete Holmes]

This is a good one. The feel of the bed.

[Blair Carlisle]

I feel somebody sit down on the bed. Like, unmistakable. The bed, like, sinks. I like, jump out of bed, go in the bathroom, like, splash water my face and now my, like, adrenaline is going and I'm thinking. I'm like, maybe. I'm like, maybe part of my brain was still asleep. I'm like, trying to rationalize it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like, maybe part of my brain still asleep and like, just that. But I'm like, now I'm, like, awake. I've been awake for 10 minutes. Splash of water on my face. I, like, get back in bed. I'm like, if I. You know when you're just, like, awake and you're like, if I just, like, try not to move, if I just lay as still as possible, I'll just maybe convince my body to fall back asleep.

[Pete Holmes]

Sure.

[Blair Carlisle]

So I, like, lay as still as I possibly can laying there. And then the whole mattress with me on it moves like six inches. And it was on a box spring. And when it moved, all the springs are like. Like the whole mattress went like this. And I, like, jumped out of bed and just packed my things and just left.

[Pete Holmes]

Zero stars.

[Blair Carlisle]

Like three in the morning. I left a Google review. Like, this room is haunted. Don't. And then I, like, left. I drove, like, until sunrise, like, all through the day. And I remember thinking, like, what does this mean?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. What are the implications of this? Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm like, this changes my thoughts about so many things.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I like. And now, like, almost every night, I'm like, I hope that doesn't happen now, bro.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, that's really scary. I. I always had. We won't. I don't think you could actually do it. But I've always wanted to take the most. I don't believe in ghost people and put them in the most haunted places and just film it. I feel like it's an easy, non scripted show that would be good to get Neil DeGrasse Tyson to stay in that room. The problem is I. We all know nothing's gonna happen. No.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

For some. Like, like, everyone's gonna know. The ghosts are gonna know.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They're like, I'm already dead. I don't need to be called fake.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Exactly. They're like, I'm gonna go for my target audience. I don't need.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I want a fan.

[Blair Carlisle]

I don't want a heckler. I don't want to haunt a heckler.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Haunted hecklers. Yeah. You go where the love is. Even ghosts.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah. Even goes. Yeah. I. I still don't know how that. But it's funny.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, even amazing.

[Blair Carlisle]

Even in my, like, my worst fear is ghosts. I'm like, like in my bed, like, A few months ago, my shower curtain falls in the middle of the night and, like, shoots me awake, and I just put the covers over my head. I'm scared it's a ghost. And, like, I tell my friends next morning, they're like, I would have thought someone was breaking in.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm like, you went right to this.

[Blair Carlisle]

I was like, that literally didn't occur to me until you just said that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

I immediately was like, there's a ghost.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course. Yeah. Yeah. That's hilarious. I. I can be similar. I can be similar, but I'll. It'll be both for me. I'll be like, it's either someone breaking in or a ghost.

[Blair Carlisle]

I prefer it's a burglar.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Because then I know the rules.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm like, I know you're. I know you're probably scared, too.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And I can hurt you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

If it's a ghost, I'm like, I don't know what the rules are.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

Can you touch?

[Pete Holmes]

Are you scared?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I'm like, what are the rules if I touch you?

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Or fizzle. That's that Snoop Dogg. We did it. What? Okay, so what is your. I hate that I have to run. But no.

[Blair Carlisle]

No worries. Last.

[Pete Holmes]

Not your last. Your hardest laugh, man.

[Blair Carlisle]

I've been trying to think about this. I have so many.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. I've seen what I always say. It doesn't have to be a good story. It's just, like, what's the one that, like, you feel in your heart?

[Blair Carlisle]

There's. I mean, there are. There are a lot. There's like. I feel like I'm gonna let so many of my friends down by, like, not saying one that they're part of. So I just have to say, like, Carlo Katie, or Carlo Katie, Haley, Katie. So many people that I have, like, the greatest laughs in the world. The wizards. My brother Bryce, Cameron. But, like, probably the one that jumps my mind is with my friend Stephen. And we were, like, in chamber choir. Like, we were in choir in, like, high school and stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm already dead.

[Blair Carlisle]

And this kind of goes to church. Laughter. So my choir director, Mr. Riddle. Who's the man? Mr. Riddle. Shout out Mr. Riddle. He would always just, like, give us pieces of music at the last minute. Like, I think he thought we were way better than we were. So, like, literally, like, it was like the day before a competition, and he's, like, handing out. He's like, we're doing the song, too. And, like, I'm like, what? And so then we're like, in practice, it's not there. We get on stage, and there's, like, chamber choir. So there's like, eight of us. There's, like, two of each. So it's not a huge choir. There's eight students on the stage.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Blair Carlisle]

And we start doing this song, and me and my friend Stephen are sitting, like, in the back, and, like, we're just, like, in front of the whole audience, you know, and he's, like, looking at us, and it sounds so, so bad.

[Pete Holmes]

This is like, I can't believe we haven't had one in this category. An unrehearsed choir trying to sing a.

[Blair Carlisle]

Piece is in front of an auditorium of, like, like, 10 different high schools. It's a competition. So there's like, oh, this is the performance. This is the performance. It's like. It's literally on a stage. It's on a. On a stage where, like, it's like those shining lights.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Blair Carlisle]

There's eight of us, and it's on, like, little tiers. So Steven and I are on over everybody in front of this entire dark auditorium. And it sounds so, so bad. And then, like, there's, like, one break where, like, the sopranos of somebody do something. And I just hear Steven go, like. And I literally can't. I cannot sing. And there's this tears streaming down my face. And he and I are both standing, like, trying so hard, like, because we're like. And Mr. Is looking at us because he's facing us, and he sees us, like, crying, laughing, and he's like. He's looking at us like, what are you doing? And that made it even funnier. We can't turn around. And we're, like, in front of this, like, huge auditorium. And I remember, he and I, I just. We're just standing up there, like, shoulders like this, and tears streaming down our face, just trying to go, like. And I remember, like, he, like, ends, and he's, like, staring daggers at us. And he's just like. And, like, afterwards, he's like, what was that? And I'm like.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm like, what? What do you expect me to do? I'm like, I'm so bad. The song was bad.

[Blair Carlisle]

It was bad. And it was like, the church laughter, but 10 times, because there's, like, audience looking at you, too. Like, it's not like church where you could go like this.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, it's choir laughter singing badly or someone whose voice you weren't ready. Like, there's a fake one on the Internet. It turns out it was fake. Hey. Happy. You know What? I mean, like, people be posting things that saying they're real and they're not real still gave me a lot of joy. Have you seen this? It's a guy who has a really, really high voice. It's in, like, Dutch or something. And they're like, oh, yes.

[Blair Carlisle]

And the interviewer, he's like.

[Pete Holmes]

And he's like, yes, yes. Stop laughing. It reminds me of that.

[Blair Carlisle]

That's fake.

[Pete Holmes]

That's fake.

[Blair Carlisle]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

And guess who didn't care?

[Blair Carlisle]

I care.

[Pete Holmes]

I was gonna say you.

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm unfollowing that Dutch interviewer.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Oh, man. It's one of the best laughs of all time. There's no way, even though it's fake, that he didn't get into it.

[Blair Carlisle]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean? That laugh turned real. It started fake, but it turned real. What a great answer. I can't believe we've never had a choir answer before.

[Blair Carlisle]

No, it's.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll never forget.

[Blair Carlisle]

Get it, man. Man.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that it? That's it, Pete.

[Blair Carlisle]

Thank you, man. And here you are, man. Do I got to say keep it crispy?

[Pete Holmes]

You do, but you got to do one as you, of course. And then you got to do one as Pappy.

[Blair Carlisle]

Okay. This is so like, genuinely in high school being like, how am I going to say keep it crispy someday?

[Pete Holmes]

You did it.

[Blair Carlisle]

And now I'm here. So I'll say, keep it crispy, everybody. And then Uncle W. Uncle. Uncle Pappy would be like, hey there, man. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the bugs are buzzing, the fish are biting. And don't forget, man, even when life gets down and you're in your job time, keep it crispy, people. Keep it crispy.

[Pete Holmes]

Peace and love in your job time.

[Blair Carlisle]

Even in your job time.

[Pete Holmes]

Even in your job time.

[Blair Carlisle]

So crispy. So crispy. Want to listen to your favorite Lemonada shows without the ads? Subscribe to Lemonada Premium on Apple Podcasts. You'll get ad free episodes and exclusive bonus content from shows like Wiser Than.

[Pete Holmes]

Me with Julia Louis Dreyfus, Fail Better.

[Blair Carlisle]

With David Duchovny, the Sarah Silverman podcast, and so many more. It's a great way to support the work we do and treat yourself to a smoother, uninterrupted listening experience. Just head to any Lemonada show, feed on Apple Podcasts, and hit subscribe. Make life suck less with fewer ads with Lemonada Premium.

[Pete Holmes]

Are you looking for ways to make your everyday life happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative?

[Blair Carlisle]

I'm Gretchen Rubin, the number one bestselling author of the Happiness Project, bringing you.

[Pete Holmes]

Fresh insights and practical solutions in the.

[Blair Carlisle]

Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast.

[Pete Holmes]

My co host and happiness guinea pig.

[Blair Carlisle]

Is my sister, Elizabeth Craft.

[Pete Holmes]

That's me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore ideas and hacks about cultivating happiness and good habits. Check out Happier with Gretchen Rubin from Lemonada Media.