Transcript

Carol Leifer (0:00)

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh, yeah, you made it weird.

Pete Holmes (0:08)

Yes, you did. You made it weird with Pete Holmes. What's happening, weirdos? Well, it's official. I'm obsessed with Carol Leifer, who is our guest today. One of my all time favorite episodes. Winner of the most likely to become my dear friend IRL in the past couple months award. I was just blown away. Charming, funny, interesting, brilliant. She has a new book out which is called how to write a funny Speech. I can't believe that hasn't been done before that one of the best TV and comedy and standup writers in the world wrote a book for everybody. For bar mitzvahs, weddings, graduations. There you go. People do that. How do you do it? How do you do it? Well, get how to write a funny speech by Carol Leifer. It is so good. You so helpful and so funny and she is so funny. If you don't know who Carol is, she is a stand up. She wrote for snl, she wrote for Larry Sanders, she wrote for Seinfeld. We talk about all that in this episode and more. And I'm so glad that you are here. And peteholmes.com for my tour dates. It is no longer the PG13 tour because it's just. It's not PG13. It's called the Pete Here now tour. May 24th, I'm going to be at Largo in Los Angeles. Then the dates go like this. Nashville, Irvine, California, San Jose, California, Houston, Royal Oak, Michigan, Washington D.C. boston, Spokane, Washington, St. Louis, Cleveland, Homestead and Atlantic City. And I keep saying this, but right around Atlantic City we will be announcing New York City very, very soon. And all of those will be on peteholmes.com thank you to everybody that's been coming out. Toronto was incredible. What an amazing show. What an amazing city. We had so much fun and I'm glad you're here. We'll talk about Toronto. Probably more on we made it weird this week, but for now, what's happening right now? You are listening to the Carol Leifer episode of you made it weird. And I'm so glad you are because it's really wonderful. So get into it. You drink it, you get a bonus. Oh, good. Well, this is fresh and cold. And this is also. This is a sponsor as well. It's Magic mind. But I really like that as a writer, really, you might enjoy it. No, no, no. No ad talk. It's really nice. Okay, Little caffeine. Do you want it? Do you want it?

Carol Leifer (2:33)

I don't know, I just had a big coffee.

Pete Holmes (2:35)

Yeah. You might not want it, then you might be all right. And then also. What do they say? No. No new routines on race day. You know what I mean? You're already here. You like how you feel. Don't change how you feel.

Carol Leifer (2:47)

All right?

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Episode: Carol Leifer
Release Date: May 14, 2025
Host: Pete Holmes
Guest: Carol Leifer

Overview

This episode features legendary comedian, TV writer, and stand-up performer Carol Leifer. Famous for her work on Seinfeld, Saturday Night Live, and The Larry Sanders Show, Leifer joins Pete for a fast-moving, joke-dense, and insightful conversation. Major topics include the evolution of stand-up, comedic writing processes, formative stories from comedy’s golden eras, the quirks and challenges of performing, and a focus on Leifer’s new book: How to Write a Funny Speech. The duo also riff endlessly—delighting in bits about Pirate’s Booty snacks, green rooms, “pilot in the audience” nerves, writers’ rooms, and perceptions of God. Their rapport is warm, silly, and earnest, making this episode rich for comedy fans and creators alike.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Carol Got Into Comedy

College Days:
- Carol attended Harper College (State University of New York) and was in a theater group with Paul Reiser.
  - "He was the funniest guy I ever met there. To this day, he's the funniest guy I've ever met." — Carol Leifer [08:00]
- Reiser introduced her to New York open mics.
- Early comedy clubs (Catch a Rising Star, Comic Strip) involved long lines and diverse acts—singers, jugglers, ventriloquists—before stand-up dominated.
First Audition:
- Carol’s first set at Catch a Rising Star went exceedingly well, with Larry David as emcee.
- “Larry put me through the audition…he passed me!” — Carol Leifer [18:11]
The “Sophomore Bomb”:
- Second set was a disaster—friends in the audience groaned audibly.
  - "I had my cassette - you can hear my friend, in the middle of it…" (audible groaning). — Carol Leifer [20:14]
- Both agree: First set is often good, second inevitably tough.
  - “If you have a bad set, your next one is usually good, right?” — Pete Holmes [23:59]
  - "Never fails." — Carol Leifer [24:00]

2. Green Rooms, Stage Distractions, and Comedy Etiquette

The Curse of Pirate's Booty:
- Carol tells a story of bombing because the promoter's wife was noisily eating Pirate’s Booty backstage.
  - "I want that to be my ringtone: 'She was eating a bag of Pirate’s Booty.'" — Pete Holmes [25:40]
- Both agree green rooms are sacred: no friends, family, or snacks that make noise.
Friends & Family as Disruptors:
- The “VIP” phenomenon—hecklers or disruptive audience members are almost always someone’s friend.
  - "Tell your friends: you can't yell out at any point." — Carol Leifer [28:34]
- Pete recounts discomfort performing for his own father.
  - "It's hard to do standup in front of the energy that turned you into a standup." — Pete Holmes [29:56]

3. Comedic Bits, Riffs, and Snack Food Tangents

Pirate’s Booty vs. Cheetos Marketing:
- Extended riff about snack foods’ marketing and how parents rationalize snacks.
- Memorable observation on Pirate’s Booty:
  - "Pirate’s Booty is for children. It’s healthy-seeming Cheetos." — Pete Holmes [31:15]
  - "If you see a little bag backstage…know what? I’m gonna go with the booty." — Pete Holmes [31:07]
Confetti as Applause:
- Pete (slightly stoned) theorizes people like confetti because it mimics the sight of thousands applauding.
  - "Confetti is like, what if it was this? We like it—it looks like a celebration.” — Pete Holmes [56:32]

4. Writer’s Rooms, Comedy Process, and the Joy of Collaboration

Seinfeld Writer’s Room:
- Different from others: ideas are pitched directly to Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David.
- “If Larry David didn’t like an idea…man, to see that face…” — Carol Leifer [62:32]
- The energy in the room shifts drastically for an idea Larry likes: "Yes, yes, I like that!"
Value of Collaboration:
- Both Pete and Carol agree that the group effort often beats solo writing.
  - “I love being with other funny people…with every funniest person from their high school.” — Carol Leifer [71:27]
- The ping-pong of ideas is what Carol enjoys most about writing for TV versus stand-up.
Tips from Comedy Legends:
- Steven Wright to Carol, when she was struggling early:
  - "You gotta do this every night for three years without judging yourself." — Steven Wright via Carol [38:14]

5. Signature "Weird" Comedy Stories

Origins of “Pilot in the Audience” (Seinfeld):
- Pete and Carol dissect the episode where Jerry is thrown off by the pilot being in the audience—a callback to how little disruptions can wreck performer focus.
  - “For some reason, if you told me the pilot is in the audience, it throws you off.” — Pete Holmes [46:53]
  - Carol explains Seinfeld’s stories were drawn from real-life minutiae.
Curb Your Enthusiasm Moments in Real Life:
- Pete recounts accidentally creating “Curb” moments—like awkwardly asking a neighbor to mail a letter.
  - Both theorize why these micro-awkwardnesses make classic TV bits.

6. Bits-in-Progress and Stand-Up Insights

Carol’s New Material:
- Joke about lesbian relationships and traditional gender roles (“I’m always by the door waiting, [yelling] let’s go!”).
- Pete suggests tag lines: Lesbians 'get' why men are baffled by these situations, giving Carol a “different license” to joke about it.
  - "You're supposed to know what's taking so long…Isn’t the backbone that men don’t understand hair extensions?” — Pete Holmes [75:33]
- Another bit: Adopting an elephant (“because I couldn’t have one naturally”). Pete suggests shifting the animal for quicker audience buy-in.
Joke Writing Process:
- How to identify the most fruitful comedic territory (ask “Who thought of this and why?”).
  - "One of the easiest ways to comedy is: who thought of this and why?" — Pete Holmes [73:18]
- Writers’ room dynamic: group can transform half-baked ideas into real jokes.

7. Book: How to Write a Funny Speech

Why the Book?
- Addressed the need for everyday people to give funny speeches at events (weddings, bar mitzvahs, etc.).
  - "There was a chasm the size of one book, and you filled it." — Pete Holmes [83:30]
- Co-authored with Rick Mitchell; includes “jokes to steal” for various events.
- Topped Amazon’s public speaking category.
- Carol’s advice: think of a speech as a stand-up set—there are steps you can follow.

8. Faith, Spirituality, and Meaning of Life (Final Minutes)

Carol’s Perspective:
- Jewish by culture and tradition—relates to the community, not dogma.
  - "I don’t believe there is an Almighty watching down on us…It's a link to my family." — Carol Leifer [87:10]
Pete’s “Screen is God” Metaphor:
- God as the infinite ground—like a movie screen to the movie, “God does not exist apart from the world, but as its very substance.”
  - "The screen to the things in the movie does not exist [for them], but it's what holds it all." — Pete Holmes [88:05]

Notable Quotes & Moments

On Comedy Bombing:
- “You can hear my friend, in the middle of it…” — Carol Leifer describing her second bombed set [20:28]
On Green Room Etiquette:
- "No family members of promoters backstage. This is our sacred space." — Carol Leifer [26:27]
On Writing and Collaboration:
- “That synergy of back and forth, it’s so fascinating to me, and I love it.” — Carol Leifer [71:27]
On the ‘Meaning of Life’
- “I like the community of Judaism and the tradition and all that. But I don’t think there’s anybody supreme up there other than Diana Ross.” — Carol Leifer [87:05]
- “The ground of all being is another term for God…the screen on which the movie plays.” — Pete Holmes [88:05]

Timestamps for Important Segments

05:00: Pete expresses nerves about interviewing a legend
07:18: Carol’s origin with Paul Reiser and early open mics
17:15: Story of auditioning, Larry David passing her
20:13: “Sophomore Bomb” and the trauma of a bad set
25:40: “Pirate’s Booty” green room story
29:56: On performing in front of family
38:14: Steven Wright’s advice
46:53: On “the pilot in the audience” and performance disruptions
62:32: Inside Seinfeld writers’ room
71:27: On the “ping-pong” synergy in writers’ rooms
75:00: Carol testing new bits about lesbian relationships
83:16: Carol’s book, “How to Write a Funny Speech”
87:05: Carol’s thoughts on Judaism and faith
88:05: Pete’s philosophical “screen and movie” God metaphor

Memorable Moments

Pete and Carol riffing on snack food marketing (Pirate’s Booty vs. Cheetos)
The deeply relatable story of bombing and the healing that comes after
Writers’ room lore: Larry David’s “not impressed” body language
Unique, meta “Curb” moments drawn from everyday frustrations
Carol’s practical, jokey wisdom on writing speeches and for the stage
Off-the-cuff bits on confetti, gender roles, and green room sanctity
Heartfelt discussion on what spirituality means outside of dogma

Closing

This episode is a treasure trove for comedy aficionados, filled with wisdom on stagecraft, writing, performance anxiety, the culture of comedy in legendary eras, and deliciously weird riffs. Carol Leifer’s warmth and wit shine from beginning to end.

Recommended for:
Stand-up comics, writers, TV/film comedy fans, seekers of behind-the-scenes stories, and anyone looking to give a funnier speech.

Final Sign-off:
"What you gotta do is keep it crispy." — Carol Leifer [92:12]