Chris Estrada

Summary

You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes – Chris Estrada (Dec 7, 2022)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Pete Holmes sits down with comedian and creator Chris Estrada, star of Hulu’s "This Fool." They discuss Estrada’s comedic journey, the themes and inspirations behind his show, codependency, addiction, punk rock culture, growing up in South Central LA, and lived experience with class, gangs, and trauma. Throughout, both comics share insights, laughs, and a willingness to “make it weird” by digging beneath the surface on art, meaning, and what shapes us.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "This Fool" – Creation, Point of View, and Themes

• Authenticity in Television:

  • Both Pete and Chris lament the lack of perspective and memorable thematics in most modern TV. Pete describes "This Fool" as a show with a needed point of view.
    • "It’s so hard to find what to watch...There’s no point of view." (Pete, 08:39)
  • Chris values thematically driven shows, likening "point of view" to what makes “Bar Rescue” compelling: a clear perspective, “Don’t have a shitty bar.” (Chris, 09:12)

• Why "This Fool" Works:

  • Pete praises "This Fool" for its originality and drive:
    • "This seems like, oh, this needed to be. There’s nothing like it. There’s no story like this." (Pete, 40:35)
  • Chris describes the importance of showing working-class LA, not just the glossy version seen in Hollywood, and wanting to capture existentialism within that setting.

• Title Evolution and Cultural Inside Jokes:

  • The show was originally called "Punk Ass Bitch" but changed to “This Fool” for authenticity and wider appeal, plus a nod to the way "fool" is used in Latino communities.
    • "It kind of works in both ways...just saying how Latinos usually say fool a lot." (Chris, 39:59)

2. Comedy as Craft, Codependency, and Vulnerability

• The Difference Between Being Fun and Being Funny:

  • Chris and Pete discuss “warehouse funny” - the type of humor that kills on the job but doesn’t always translate to the stage.
    • "There’s just different levels of being funny. Like sometimes being funny at work doesn’t translate..." (Chris, 17:48)
  • "Comedy is art. Even when stupid, it’s still art because you’re expressing your inner reality." (Pete, 23:00)

• Codependency and Life Lessons:

  • Chris learned about codependency through a breakup and discovered he himself was codependent while reading “Women Who Love Too Much.”
    • "I always joke around that I found out I was a woman who loves too much...trying to help her is codependency." (Chris, 45:02)
  • Pete and Chris both discuss how codependency shows up in their own lives and families, and how self-awareness can mitigate its negative effects.

• Family, Class, and Self-Worth:

  • Chris opens up about growing up in South Central with a single mom, multi-generational housing, and balancing cultural pride with the realities of racial tension and community.
  • "Every city has a working class section...if you don’t have money to fix your roof, you know that putting a blue tarp over it will stop it from leaking." (Chris, 54:05)

3. Addiction, Punk Rock, and Self-Destructive Urges

• Straight Edge and Self-Control:

  • Pete and Chris connect over punk and straight edge culture, discussing the appeal of sobriety as rebellion and the manipulations of consumerist advertising.
    • "If you’re into punk rock and you’re sober, that dude’s dangerous!" (Pete, 29:58)
    • "I have to make [junk food] an enemy. That’s how I don’t do it." (Chris, 31:11)

• Personal Addictions:

  • Chris talks openly about past binging, drug use, and addictive behaviors, linking them to self-loathing and depression.
    • "It’s a battle. There’s a self-loathing part of me that’s like: yeah, you’re a piece of shit, so do this." (Chris, 34:11)
  • Both agree everyone has addictive tendencies, just some are more socially acceptable than others.

4. Gangs, Violence, and Duality of People

• Growing Up Around Gangs:

  • Chris provides an inside view of gang culture, its randomly dangerous elements, and the complicated relationship he has with family members who were both loving and violent.
    • "Maybe my family member went to prison for killing someone...but I’ve known him to love me." (Chris, 68:02)

• Father Greg Boyle’s Perspective:

  • Pete references Father Boyle (of Homeboy Industries) often: gang violence as a symptom of trauma and deprivation, rather than excitement, and loving detachment.
    • "People that join gangs are never running to something. They’re always running from something." (Pete quoting Boyle, 69:39)
  • Both discuss how trauma, lack of resources, and neglect contribute to crime and that humanizing those involved is vital.

5. Making it in Comedy & Standup

• Late Bloomers and “Open” Art Forms:

  • Chris didn’t start standup until 29, in part because of self-doubt and fear, and being a fan before a practitioner.
    • "I think a lot of that has to do...with low self-esteem." (Chris, 88:32)
    • "Standup is not impenetrable. There’s literally an open mic." (Chris, 90:37)

• Early Experiences:

  • First mics in South Central’s legendary Leimert Park; audience could jangle keys to “boo” comics off stage.
    • "Never give the audience a mechanism with which to unifiedly tell you you’re done." (Pete, 91:47)

6. Life, Death & Meaning

• Surviving Real Danger:

  • Chris shares stories of being shot at, held at gunpoint, and witnessing armed robberies as a child — formative, but told with humor, humility, and perspective about the humanity on all sides.
    • "Those are the three that come to mind, those situations." (Chris, 102:38)

• Spiritual Symbolism & The Unknown:

  • Raised Catholic, Chris no longer practices but finds comfort in its symbols.
    • "Even though I don’t believe in that stuff anymore, it gives me comfort to see it. I have a rosary hanging from my rear view mirror." (Chris, 109:45)
  • Pete introduces the concept of “life force,” and the two reflect on the mysteriousness and fleeting beauty of sharing existence.
    • "Don’t forget we’re all alive at the same time. We’re all alive right now at the same moment. Isn’t that amazing?" (Chris quoting Joe Strummer, 113:13)

7. Humor in Humiliation

• Memorable Laughs:
  • Chris’s hardest laugh involved a mortifying incident: needing to poop on a trail during a hike with his girlfriend, eventually laughing at himself so hard he cried.
    • "I felt such dread. I went home, showered, went to sleep. I didn’t want to see the outfit." (Chris, 120:07)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On dads and discipline via reality TV:

  • "John Taffer. I always say he’s the father I didn’t have because ...you need a grown man to yell at you sometimes." – Chris (09:50)

• On codependency epiphany:

  • "I bought a book on codependency...I found out I was a woman who loves too much. Because when I read the book, I said, I think this is me." – Chris (45:02)

• On comedy as real art:

  • "You are talking about your inner reality...doing roasts...is kind of a defense, because if you do talk about your fears or hopes, that’s a vulnerable play. You’re showing them a painting of your insides." – Pete (23:00)

• On making pain an enemy:

  • "I have to tell myself that I have to make it an enemy...it’s how I don’t [buy junk food]." – Chris (31:11)

• On the duality of gang members:

  • "I know they can be scary to you but they’re also loving to me...complicated because maybe my family member went to prison for killing someone, which I know objectively makes them a bad guy, but I’ve known him to love me." – Chris (68:02)

• On life’s mystery:

  • "Life is mysterious and...the idea of a life force...I just go, ah." – Chris (111:33)
  • "Don’t forget we’re all alive at the same time. Isn’t that amazing?" – Chris quoting Joe Strummer (113:13)

• On humiliation turning to laughter:

  • "I went home, I took a shower, I went to sleep. I didn’t want to see the outfit...and then a few days later...I started laughing about me to the point I started crying." – Chris (120:07)

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Segment Timestamps for Easy Navigation

• [07:05] – Conversation begins; show praise, point of view, why “This Fool” is different
• [17:10] – Comedy as craft vs. “funny at work”; warehouse and job humor
• [25:00] – Punk rock, Minor Threat, straight edge, personal discipline
• [34:10] – Self-destructive behavior, addiction, and battling self-loathing
• [44:50] – Codependency, altruism, family dynamics, and personal growth
• [53:15] – Growing up in South Central, class, and community
• [68:00] – Loving and violent family members, duality, trauma in gang life
• [86:55] – Getting into comedy late, first performances
• [96:40], [97:50], [100:00] – Experiences with near-death and crime
• [109:17] – Spiritual beliefs, Catholic symbolism, meaning of life
• [119:17] – Funniest hard laugh: The Topanga Canyon trail incident

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Summary Tone

Throughout, the tone is candid, reflective, honest, and often hilarious. Both Pete and Chris are comfortable sharing their weirdness, weaknesses, and working-class roots, with plenty of good-natured self-deprecation. The discussion fluidly blends serious topics (trauma, class, addiction, meaning) with the levity of comedy and the perspective of survivors.

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For new listeners:
This episode is a must-listen for fans of authentic, meaningful comedy that doesn’t flinch away from tough truths but finds ways to laugh in the midst of hardship. Chris Estrada’s journey from South Central warehouses to Hulu is presented with warmth, humility, and wisdom – exemplifying the “weird” in You Made It Weird.

Transcript

[Chris Estrada]

You made it weird. You made it weird. You made it weird. Oh, yeah, you made it weird. Yes, you did made it weird. You made it weird. With Pete Holmes.

[Pete Holmes]

What's happening, weirdos? This is an incredible, wonderful, hilarious, interesting and fun chat with my new friend Chris Estrada, who is one of the creators and the star of of one of my new favorite shows. It's called this Fool. It's on Hulu. We talk about it on this episode right here on this couch. It's so hard to find new shows. It's so hard to find great new shows and I really think he's doing something very special. One of the eps is Fred Armisen and Chris kills it. It's so funny. It's so unique. Definitely, definitely, definitely check out this fool and follow Chris on all his socials and what you and where you follow your people. I am currently on if you want to come see me. The remaining cities are San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Atlanta, Charlotte, and Washington, D.C. we're hopefully going to be adding new dates as well in the new year. But if you want to come and see me do my new hour of stand up, I'm really proud of it. It's been really, really great so far and it means so much that weirdos come out. Just go to peteholmes.com and you will see links to all of the tickets there. And if you like this podcast, why not try a Pete's Pick like our friends at R? When I travel, speaking of being on the road, there's only two vitamins, two bottles of pills. I take a lot of different things, some for sleep, some for this. But the only ones that I absolutely always, always, always take with me are my ritual multivitamin and my ritual symbiotic plus. Symbiotic plus is my pre pro and postbiotic. What does that mean? It means it's all of my gut health in one easy to take delayed release pill, which means it delays release, which waits until it's in your lower intestine, which is where it needs to be to actually be effective. Probiotic, which means gut health. Your gut is basically like a second brain and keeping it healthy is super, super important for virtually every area of your life. Not to mention my ritual multivitamin. As a mostly vegan person, I'm deficient in a lot of vitamins that used to be in our soil, that used to be in our food. And now taking my ritual multivitamin, when I go to the doctor, I get no notes. No notes. And I can take it on an empty stomach, which is huge because if you, I don't know, if you've ever taken something like zinc on an empty stomach, it will make you vomit. But ritual has a delayed release and a minty taste, so it gets into your system and breaks down in the lower parts into the lower intestine where you can actually absorb this stuff. But putting a highlight on Synbiotic plus, the Propri postbiotic contains two of the world's most studied strains with over 350 publications of human clinical trials. It is a 3 in 1 clinically studied. As I mentioned, prebiotic, probiotic and postbiotic. To support a balanced gut microbiome. It doesn't need to be refrigerated, which is huge. As I mentioned, I take it with me when I travel. It's a single nested minty capsule, which means it leaves a nice minty aftertaste and in your mouth. And it is designed to thrive, as I mentioned, delayed release, so it will break down in your colon, not the stomach, which is the ideal place for your probiotics to survive and grow. So show your body some love, show your gut some support, and show your support of this podcast. Synbiotic plus and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide your insides. There's no more shame in your gut game to try making something new, easier. Ritual is offering more weirdos 10% off their first three months. When you shop [e-mail] weird or if you prefer to shop in person, Ritual is now available at Whole Foods Market. But why not use the promo code and show that these ads are working? That's how we keep the lights on. Go to ritual.com weird do your body a favor and show your support of this show. Speaking of products that I love and have changed my life. Living libations. You guys have heard us talk about living libations for many years. Our whole household is a living libations family. What does that mean? It's skin care, it's hair care, it's oral care. Everything that you put on or in your body for beauty reasons, for health reasons, to look good, to feel good. Living libations has got you covered. Years ago, I realized I was being very careful about what I ate and what I put inside, but I wasn't being very careful about what I put on my body. When it comes to things like moisturizers or shaving creams or even dental care, a lot of these things are filled with chemicals and are linked to toxicity levels and disease. Stuff that is just never intended for human beings. So I was like, there's got to be another way to do this, there's gotta be skin care, for example, where I can read the ingredients and actually pronounce and even recognize them, because I want my food to be stuff that I recognize and I want my skincare to be the same. Enter Living Libations. I now use their zinc based sunscreen. It's called Love the Sun. We use that for Leela every morning when we're getting her ready for preschool. Obviously, you want to put good things on your kid's skin. Their Love the Sun is the only one that I found that is actually natural. Meaning there's a lot of them that you see online that say they're natural, but they're absolutely not. They're still filled with chemicals. They're just a little bit clever about it. But the Living Libation sun protection is actually zinc based and real and natural. I use their ginger exfoliating scrub, which I always say is not only natural and has ingredients I recognize, but it's the most badass exfoliant I've ever used in my life. I use their Zen shave. Both Val and I use their best skin ever moisturizer before bed. Smells great, feels great going on, and keeps your skin looking vibrant and alive because it's made with ingredients that are vibrant and alive. But this is a great company to support the show because I promise, if you want to buy something little or you want to do a complete house overhaul like we did, they have lots of stuff ranging from you can get a tongue scraper at Living Libations, or you could completely rehaul your entire beauty cabinet. Living Libations has a premium, natural and wonderful product to replace the random chemical nightmares that too many of us are used to. So go to living libations.com and use promo code GRATITUDEIRD. One word, capital G, capital D, capital w. Excuse me? GratitudeWeird, capital G, capital W. And that will get you your discount. That is 15% off, which is pretty great. And show your support of this podcast. Just go to living libations.com and use that promo code GRATITUDEIRD. All right, everybody, enjoy Chris Estrada. It's such a great conversation. And be sure to check out this fool on Hulu. Get into it.

[Chris Estrada]

This is just regular water.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just water. You haven't seen that before?

[Chris Estrada]

No. You know what? I thought they were carbonated.

[Pete Holmes]

They do make carbonated. Oh, do you?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

See, I really think we have a lot. Like everything I've learned about you from watching the show and watching your stand up. I'm like we'll just roll right in if you. Cool. Oh, no, no. Open, open, open. I just want you to know we're recording so you don't start saying some racist shit. And also, feel free to. What's that?

[Chris Estrada]

Stand by my racism.

[Pete Holmes]

I say it on anything that was caught in private. Please keep it in the show as a point of integrity.

[Chris Estrada]

I insist.

[Pete Holmes]

And you can put your feet on the couch. It's a filthy couch. Yeah, yeah. But I really do think we. Go get comfy. I'm insist. At least lean in.

[Chris Estrada]

Have some.

[Pete Holmes]

Have some pillows.

[Chris Estrada]

There you go.

[Pete Holmes]

This couch isn't exactly right.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, it's nice. It's a nice, cozy ass couch. It truly is.

[Pete Holmes]

You're very positive already. And I'm already enjoying it.

[Chris Estrada]

I'm not a light. I'm not Heimington. Yeah, the couch is fine.

[Pete Holmes]

That's great. I'm gonna put this back because I was enjoying it, but. Yeah, I was just. First of all, the show is fantastic.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, thank you. I really appreciate you taking the time to watch it. Dude.

[Pete Holmes]

It's great. Yeah, it was like, yes, I watch it for the show, but I watch it with my wife. And. And she doesn't love everything. I don't love everything. And we were both like, that was so good. We're like, now we're just watching it because it's what we're watching.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I know that everybody's making this point, but it's so hard to find, like, what to watch.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I. I'm glad to have this podcast because, you know, we were having you on, so I was like, oh, we should watch this fool. Yeah, we put it on. And I was like, first of all, it's just so hard to do. Can you relate? Like, I watch a lot of tv and I'm like, why? Like, why does this. Not even. In a mean way. You almost feel bad for them. You're like, yeah, there's no point of view.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, there's no point of. Or thematically. I go, I guess I like themes in television. You know, I don't like things that feel like a morality. Morality play. But I like things that are thematic.

[Pete Holmes]

Me too.

[Chris Estrada]

At least mess with themes, so. Or sometimes you have things like a point of view. I'm like, you know, when. Things like a point of view. What I like. I don't want that from scripted television. I don't mind that. Like, I love Bar Rescue is like, trash. Like, trashy TV that I don't mind. But at least that dude has a theme which has. Has a point of view, which is, don't have a shitty bar.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't have a shitty bar. All you need is the title. He's going to rescue.

[Chris Estrada]

She's going to rescue your Barbara.

[Pete Holmes]

And those shows are a delight because we all have strong opinions about dumb stuff.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

He, like, gets away the best.

[Chris Estrada]

John Taffer.

[Pete Holmes]

John Taffer.

[Chris Estrada]

I always say he's the father I didn't have because, you know, like, you need a grown man to yell at you sometimes.

[Pete Holmes]

Dude, you're on the right podcast. I think all of that stuff.

[Chris Estrada]

Gordon.

[Pete Holmes]

What's his name? The mean one, the British.

[Chris Estrada]

Ramsay.

[Pete Holmes]

Gordon Ramsay.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's all dad stuff. It's all that Simon on American Idol.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know why? Because they show up. It's fantasy.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They're mad, but they're like. They understand. Like, why do you have this kitchen like this? We kind of wished. Yeah, I would watch it. Look, I don't mean to put my dad down. He did. He did a great job and I love him. But there was, like, growing up in the 80s, like, 80s dads didn't really have that.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That understanding or even the goal of being, like, involved to that extent, where they might come in my room and be like, I feel like your Ninja Turtles. You're getting mixed up with your GI Joe's. Like, let's get those separated so you can have a more efficient playtime. I would be like, yes, sir. You know what I mean? I would have kind of loved any attention.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. My pops wasn't around, so sometimes I think seeing stuff like that is, like, where I. It must speak to something in me where I just go, like. Because I. I think of my nephews and they have their dad around, but whenever I'm kind of, like, stern with them.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

I've seen them smile or be like, yes. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, they're boys.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah, they're boys.

[Pete Holmes]

Not to say the girls don't like it, but I've seen in particular, this is just my experience. Little boys will love the leader.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Will love that.

[Chris Estrada]

Like, I kind of boss them around. Not in a mean way, but like. No, no. Eat all your food first before we do this. And he'll be like, smile. Okay. And then, you know, so.

[Pete Holmes]

Because it's care.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it's care.

[Pete Holmes]

It's also structure we always talk about with our daughter. It's like, you like, she has toys and stuff that count to 10. It's like, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. I just wanted to say It. And I was like. It would be like if you went into some weird DMT universe and everybody's a ribbon, right? It's just a bunch of ribbons and everything just looks like tie dye and everything's moving around. It's all chaos. But they give you a toy and it's like Flank Schneider flanks. You'd take such comfort. Like, look, everything's nuts but Flank Schneider, Schneg, Schne. And I think they get the same way when you're like, no, here in this dimension, we eat our food.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes. That's what I like about that kind of television or scene. Like bar rescue. I used to say that that show is an analogy for loser dudes.

[Pete Holmes]

Loser dude.

[Chris Estrada]

Like, the bar is. The bar is the dude.

[Pete Holmes]

You're so right.

[Chris Estrada]

Because in that thing they always tell them, like, okay, you have a cut, like, dress up. But like, it's. It's all like physical. Like, okay, this place looks like it needs paint. Smells bad.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Let's hide the kitchen.

[Chris Estrada]

You have a female population about two miles away that you're not catering to. Like, that's great. It just kills me.

[Pete Holmes]

It's all advice you would give a guy.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it's all those bars are.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's cool. But for a restaurant.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's intense, direct care.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And somebody taking the time. I always worry, though, that, like, I. Did you ever watch the Profit? No, it's. It's a sort of a bar rescue. I don't want to say rip off, but, like, they're all sort of derivative of each other. But this guy goes in and gets companies to, like, clean up their act. Not just business, not just a restaurant, but all types of businesses. Yeah, but you always get the feeling. And I want to know if you feel the same way, as soon as these people leave, this thing's going straight to hell.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes. Yeah. I always look up too. Like on Bar rescue, you can see.

[Pete Holmes]

You'll look up.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, I look up. And then some of them, a lot of them fail. Like, a lot of them, they go back to their old ways.

[Pete Holmes]

I would. Absolutely. And those people that have the ideas for shows to help bars are just sort of. It's not mean. Exploiting.

[Chris Estrada]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Because they are. They are trying to help.

[Chris Estrada]

They're trying. Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But they know.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It would be like if you and I were like, let's do it like American Idol. Is that in a big way? Of course. People that can't sing. But we'll do it. Like, we're going to make your Dreams come true.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But they know, really, people would like to watch someone burn and.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. I think a lot of these bars, like, I mean, usually, like, for most of them, they always say they, like, did well after. But I look to see, like, where are they now after three to four.

[Pete Holmes]

Years and a lot of yelps.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, a lot. Some of them, like, a fair amount that I see are closed.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Like. Or for reasons that they went back to their old ways or whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

Because.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, they need a therapist in there to be like, do you want to be in the restaurant business?

[Chris Estrada]

That. Or business school, you know, like business school.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, but I hear you. Business school would help. But I think, like, if there's like. It's like there's a projector. Right. And it's trying to play a movie of owning a bar and they can. You can clean the screen as much as you want, but if you don't take that piece of shit off the lens. Right. I know we've all heard that analogy, but I think they do need to go in and go like, do you like service?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you like food service?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, I think somebody light you up at all. I think the places that run well are like, people who like. Like that are like, there's places that I've looked up that are still running.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

And I. I always got the feeling that those people just got like, hit with hard times or some shit happened.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

Like. Or you could tell, they. They like it. They like being in the service industry. Like, there was this guy who ran this place in Vegas. It was like an old school mob joint. And then like, even the Rat Pack would go there. And I don't know, he just. He seemed like he liked it. It just, he was like hitting hard times and that place is still around.

[Pete Holmes]

He's doing great.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I think I have this theory that a lot of people. A lot. The reason why a lot of teachers suck is because that's the job choice of people who don't know what to do.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Even putting it down.

[Chris Estrada]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Pete Holmes]

It sounds like I'm making fun. I'm just saying a lot of people strike out. I get it. I actually feel for them. What do you do? And you go like, well, who have I seen? You've probably seen some teachers.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Second tier down. What do you do? I go out to restaurants. You know, like, waiter.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then like, bar. But, like, it's not just you, like, being in bars or you have the fantasy of, like, you talk to the Customers, you go to the bar, they give you a shot of something.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not that.

[Chris Estrada]

It's not romanticism.

[Pete Holmes]

No. You actually enjoy the thought that other people had a great time.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

To be a chef or a restaurant.

[Chris Estrada]

Like, it's those people who love being bartenders. When they, like at a busy bar, they're like, nah, this. It's fast. It's moving.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

Like, it's not this cheers fantasy.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, it's slow. Yeah. We're slow. And you're chopping it up with everyone. They're like, no, no, no. We want to. They want to feel like rock stars where they're moving fast.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Spinning a bottle every once in a while.

[Chris Estrada]

Every once in a while.

[Pete Holmes]

Not every bottle.

[Chris Estrada]

Not every bottle. Yeah, but you spin everywhere. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's so funny, man. I went to bartending school.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, did you?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, because I know. Scandalized, but Bill Cosby was a bartender and he was a hero of mine. I was like, what? How do you become a comedian?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I think in those days it was the 50s.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That, like, was open micing it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There were no open mics, so you had to be a funny bartender.

[Chris Estrada]

I like Colin Quinn a lot. He used to be a bartender.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You can tell.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yes. You could tell.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

He kind of has that old Barb.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, he could make my dad laugh and he can make me laugh.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah, Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Incredibly.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I love that bit you had about. You didn't call it warehouse funny, but if I was tracking your c. You.

[Chris Estrada]

Know what's so funny? It's called warehouse funny. I literally, when I said list, it's called warehouse funny. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because it should be called warehouse.

[Chris Estrada]

It's called the warehouse funny. That's exactly what it's called.

[Pete Holmes]

Warehouse funny. Because I was a waiter at Bennigan's, 150 South Michigan in Chicago. It's gone. It's a Walgreens now, But I was a waiter there and I related to your bit.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So hard that there's, like, different.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, there's just different levels of being funny. Like, sometimes being at funny at work doesn't translate to, like, being funny anywhere.

[Pete Holmes]

I say, yeah, always.

[Chris Estrada]

Always.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, you're right.

[Chris Estrada]

You're right. Never.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a completely.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Robert Klein had this great line which was haunting to me in my early years, but he was like, there's a big difference between being funny and being funny at 8 o' clock on a Friday night at a comic showing up to be funny.

[Chris Estrada]

It's showing up. It's a job. It's a yes. Yeah. It's like a craft at that point.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a craft. And it's a huge disappointment if all the people pay, like, 35, 50 bucks each and you suck.

[Chris Estrada]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, very different from, like, you're hungover at work and you're just not funny that day. No problem.

[Chris Estrada]

No problem. Nobody. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And they can't do that.

[Chris Estrada]

I know. I was. I was like, telling someone. It's like, what sucks is about, like, with certain jobs, you can be depressed and do it fine.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

But like, I. We were talking about. I was like, telling my friend about flying. And, like, what worries me is those pilots that, like, killed themselves. You know, like that Malaysian air flight that went missing that a few years ago, there was a Malaysian air flight. There's a strong speculation that that guy killed himself and that he was depressed. And then I go, you just don't want a depressed pilot. Look, I don't.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't like putting this bad stuff out there. But I've had that thought in New York in a cab, being like, first of all, I don't think this guy even remembers that I'm in here.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't mean an Uber. I mean a cab.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Of course.

[Pete Holmes]

Straight up. He might just be driving around New York right now.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And we're going over bridges and stuff, and I'm just like, like, trying to talk. Talk to him a little.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Give that guy some hope or something. A little.

[Pete Holmes]

Little chatter.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Tell him. Got a great back ahead. I love this back ahead. But it's true. Like, the. The interconnectedness of humanity. But that doesn't just end with, like, flights. Flights is a really obvious example. But your dentist, your doctor, those are.

[Chris Estrada]

Those are good.

[Pete Holmes]

The people who serve your food. I know the amount of trust is insane. And you're in a warehouse shipping things out.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You'd have to go out of your way to, like, put anthrax or something. It's a human packed a box. Is that the kind of warehouse it was?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. I worked at a car parts warehouse, so it was like. And I've worked at several warehouses throughout my life, but it was just, like. It just would make me laugh because when I was at a warehouse, anytime I worked any job, like, I would. Especially at a warehouse job, I would. I would crack myself up because I thought I was like, God, I fucking hate this job.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

So I would always go up to one of my co workers, and jokingly, I would Say, hey, don't tell anyone, but I'm with Undercover Boss. Like, just kind of bullshit with them. And they would laugh and think I was an idiot and, like. But it's just one of those things that, like, it would never work anywhere.

[Pete Holmes]

One percent of them is like, is Chris.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is Chris like, I believe you as an undercover boss, you joke about that on the show that you, like, look older than you are, so there's something like, I could see you as a CEO.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, I hope so. Yeah. For sure.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, just kind of pretending to be in the warehouse.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. But, yeah, there's just something to being. It's so funny how certain funnies only work in a specific place.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's what not to be. I'm catching myself not to be hurt about this, but I did notice in my family when they would come and see me do stand up or whatever, it was confusing to them because, first of all, it wasn't about them. I'm just kind of, like, talking about my thoughts. And I think they wanted it to be more warehouse funny.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They wanted me to, like, engage. In fact, that's what bad audiences often are. It's like, why isn't he talking about me?

[Chris Estrada]

Yes. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You should, like, do snaps on me, man. I didn't come here to do snaps on the front row.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. That's what happened to me. One time I was at an Acme in Minneapolis.

[Pete Holmes]

I hear that.

[Chris Estrada]

And then. It's an amazing club.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

But somebody up front said, roast me. And then I said, who the fuck you think I'm, Jeff Ross? I mean, God, Bl. That's a skill. It's a great skill.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

And I think. And I enjoy watching it, but it's not what I do.

[Pete Holmes]

I had that at the lab here in LA where there was a dude in the front who, of course, I found out, like, five minutes after talking to him that he was also a comic. And I'm like, what are you like, I just noticed everyone was clapping when I came up. I wasn't even announced. It wasn't, like, a big deal that I was there. I was just one of the comics on the lineup, and he was like this. And I was like. I just. I addressed it to him because I wanted to loosen him.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Not to, like, make fun of him. I was like, everybody's clapping, but this guy right in the front row. Everyone could see him with his arms crossed. And I was like, what's going on? And he was like, look at how you're dressed. He started like, roasting me.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, really?

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, yeah, that's not what this is.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, it's not 1973 Melrose improv.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We're not all smoking cigarettes.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Wearing sunglasses inside.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Long ash. You need to ash that thing as long as you're about to fall off. Being like, nice pants. They come in your size. Like, get out of here. I know that's not what this is.

[Chris Estrada]

I hate when I see someone say that to someone, like, what do you guys want to talk about? And I go, you talk about something.

[Pete Holmes]

You talk about it.

[Chris Estrada]

You know what it is.

[Pete Holmes]

You're actually making me realize that what makes comedy. And I do believe it's art. I believe it can be stupid. I believe it can be base, but it's still art, even when it's stupid and even when it's base. But one of the things that makes it art, which sort of makes it corny, is that you are talking about your inner reality.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like you're bringing your thoughts and your feelings and expressing them.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So doing roasts. I'm not saying Jeff, I'm saying bullshitting with the crowd or what else do you want to talk about? Is kind of a defense. Because if you try and if you do talk about your. Your fears or your hopes or whatever, that's a vulnerable play. You're basically showing them like a painting of your. Of your insides.

[Chris Estrada]

It just. That's what I think. It's more interesting to be like, I have these abstract thoughts. So let me see how I can make them funny to a broader audience.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

While still maintaining some.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

Uniqueness or abstraction to them, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's. Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. It's just. Yeah. I think that's what it is. I mean, and also, it's like, it is an art form, but I also, in. I hate being profound about it at the same time, too.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, it ruins it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it ruins it. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's an art form that requires you to not behold it too much of an. As an art form to do it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean? I have to imagine a lot, like landing a plane, like.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

To go back to pilot. Don't think about how amazing it is. Just land the plane.

[Chris Estrada]

Just land it.

[Pete Holmes]

Just land it. Nobody cares that you're like, really? I'm a mathematician.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's really a game of angles and wind speed. Just land the plane.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Nobody cares. And you can think it's an art, but don't tell every passengers they're deplaned.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, that's right.

[Pete Holmes]

Only planes get their own verb for leaving it.

[Chris Estrada]

I know you don't.

[Pete Holmes]

Dakar. Okay, okay. Forget it. That was. I love that you laughed. Here's a couple things before we get to some specifics that I loved about the show, but I wanted to talk about. I went on your. On your gram, and I noticed references to Adaptation, which is one of my favorite movies.

[Chris Estrada]

I love that movie.

[Pete Holmes]

And Minor Threat, which is.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, yeah. I grew up in punk rock music.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm assuming you don't still throw on Minor Threat, but maybe you do.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, no, I still do. Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know why I projected that onto you. So you. You'll still listen to out of Step?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, I still listen all that stuff. I think. I think at one time, the singer of Minor Thread and Fugazi, this guy, Ian Makai, he said this thing that I thought was really profound, which he said I didn't grow out of. I didn't grow out of punk rock. I grew up with it.

[Pete Holmes]

So that's how you feel?

[Chris Estrada]

That's how I feel. I feel like it still resonates. Like, that kind of anger.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, it's interesting.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Like, all that stuff still resonates to me, and I grew up listening to it here in la, and it felt like such a. I think it's shaped me to who I am. So I still. I think I listen to more things, you know, like. But I still listen to that.

[Pete Holmes]

There was no judgment here.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I thought maybe you threw it into gear, being like, look, I like other stuff. The Anthrax house is right around the corner.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not the Minor Threat house where.

[Chris Estrada]

They'Re sitting on the steps, and there's the Glendanzak houses around.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, that's what it is. It's not Anthrax. The Danzig house.

[Chris Estrada]

Danzig house, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is, like, this weird abandoned house that we all know belongs to Danzig.

[Chris Estrada]

And he does nothing with it, and.

[Pete Holmes]

It'S really just kind of falling apart, which is kind of punk rock.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, that's good for. Yeah. Very misfits.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's very misfits indeed. But I. I loved Minor Threat. Were you straight Edge?

[Chris Estrada]

You know, I wasn't. I. Man, I started everything really young. Like, I was never doing. Yeah. Like, I smoked weed when I was 10 for the first time, and. Yeah, with my neighbor. My neighbor. My neighbor's uncle used to sell weed, and then we smoked, and one time his uncle left, and then he came over and we smoked weed together at, like, 10 or 11.

[Pete Holmes]

How old was he?

[Chris Estrada]

He was the same age. He was like 10 or 11. And then he came over.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you MEANT it was 10 or 11 at night.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Pete Holmes]

I was like, first of all, that's too late to be up at 10. But you were 10 or 11 and you smoked weed.

[Chris Estrada]

10 or 11 smoked weed.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you get high? They say you don't get high.

[Chris Estrada]

You know what's so funny is, I think when I was a kid, I just remember going, I knew I was high, but I didn't feel it. But in hindsight, I knew we were high because we went to the store to buy a bunch of munchies.

[Pete Holmes]

You got the munchies?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, we got the munchies.

[Pete Holmes]

I've told this story before, but I got my friend stoned for the first time, and he got paranoid that he wasn't stoned, which is the funniest way to be stoned. He's like, it's not working. It's not working. And I was like, see this? I was also stoned, but I was like, see the way you're being? This is stoned. This is it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And he finally. It's weird that it requires, like, a yes from you or some sort of surrender or participation.

[Chris Estrada]

It's a surrender.

[Pete Holmes]

A surrender to be high.

[Chris Estrada]

Well, yeah. To be high. Well.

[Pete Holmes]

Or resist it. And you're. And then you have these terrible paranoid. And you're fighting it, and you're fighting, and you don't even think it's happening. And it's like, the reason why the cliche is, like, the Big Lebowski. It's like, get in the bathtub and get a roach. Like, fucking relax.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So you smoked it at 10. Did that have, like, an effect on you? I don't mean to sound so square, but I was 28.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, I grew up here in LA. And so, like, that kind of, like, drug culture was around people selling, like, people slanging dope and, like, selling drugs. You knew to be around, you would see people sell drugs.

[Pete Holmes]

So it wasn't a big deal.

[Chris Estrada]

It wasn't like a big deal. And you also. I had smelled it before, like, in the neighborhood and stuff, but it was. My friend came over, and he was like, my uncle left. He had a joint, like, a rolled up joint, and we're like, yeah, let's smoke it. And, you know, I think I smoked after that for, like, recreationally once I got into high school with friends and stuff, like.

[Pete Holmes]

So after 10, you waited till, like, I Think.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah. I remember it was like never smoking again till like high school. And then I drank beer. I think I got drunk the first time when I was like 12. Like 12 or 13. Oh, wow. And then what was that situation?

[Pete Holmes]

Same kid?

[Chris Estrada]

No, my other friend. My other friend, his brother bought us a 12 pack. His brother was older and I think we just said like, we want to get fucked up. And his brother was like, all right, I'm gonna buy you guys a 12 pack. Get drunk at like at home. At home.

[Pete Holmes]

Was that. What do you think?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, do it safe.

[Chris Estrada]

Yep. And we ended up buying a 12 pack. He got us a 12 pack. We ended up getting drunk and. But I didn't drink again until like high school and smoke weed twice. And I never had a problem, but I just wasn't straight edge. But what I did is I respected it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Like I just.

[Pete Holmes]

Substances?

[Chris Estrada]

No, I respected the fact that they. Straight edge.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, or the fact that like people. It's almost a discipline I wish I had. Even though I wasn't like necessarily.

[Pete Holmes]

You were almost there.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Like the fact that they were just like, I'm not gonna let this ruin my life.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. You know, I related hard to that.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because they made it cool. To quote Huey Lewis. They made it hip to be square.

[Chris Estrada]

You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

I wasn't doing that stuff for religious reasons. But then I'm in the punk and the hardcore scene and I got to say I was straight edge. And everybody just thought it was like a cool kind of. Because it is. I know I'm a 43 year old lame O dad now, but I'm like, if you're into punk rock and you're sober, like that dude's dangerous. You know what I mean? What's up with him? He wants to mush and all he's had today is a cup of tea.

[Chris Estrada]

Or it also feels like too. It also. I heard maybe it was like Henry Rollins or Ian Mackay who said, like, they want you to become a cliche so you're not functional.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, and they want you to be self destructive. Yeah. You know, this kind of authoritarian rule or whatever that like abstract they is.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Like, so you're not mobilizing or doing things to change your life for the better.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Chris Estrada]

Or so you're not.

[Pete Holmes]

To keep you down.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Or to, you know, be a consumer and stuff like that. So that kind of idea. I really like. Like I always thought. Even sometimes when I. I feel like sometimes, even when I want to Buy like junk food, like a bottle of Coke or something. Yeah. I have to tell myself that I have to make it an enemy.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, it's how you don't do it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it's how I don't do it by making it an enemy.

[Pete Holmes]

I think that's brilliant.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because who is telling you that it's freedom. In fact, like Coke. Coke is always my go to example that the advertisement is always like partying on a beach or like best time of your life with the most beautiful person you've ever met. It's like bubble sugar water. Like, I don't know. And we know that, but we're so susceptible to images. But like that one step of removal to say, like, who told you that getting up was like what kings do?

[Chris Estrada]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not what kings do. No, it's not what kings do.

[Chris Estrada]

Actually. Kings. Because they didn't get up or.

[Pete Holmes]

Exactly. They're quite lame. I mean, I'm sure some of those inbred weirdos in Europe were just like, like inherited it. Like with an eye like this far over. Like they drank a lot of ale and mead and. But like a lot of the people that you tend to admire. That's why I always get bummed out when you see Michael Jordan. Not really bummed out, but like Michael Jordan doing McDonald's commercials and you're like, I get it. Nobody. First of all, I don't know, man. I can't judge. But like, you don't eat that stuff. Like, you don't like. And it's kind of. We've sort of gotten a little bit wiser to that idea.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Even like the milk campaign.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Sometimes I want to have like soda or junk food and I have to tell myself, no, they want you to buy it blindly.

[Pete Holmes]

It's what they want.

[Chris Estrada]

And then that helps me because then if I make it an enemy in that sense, like.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, what makes it an enemy is anything that's a corporation that wants you to get hooked on their product. It is a drug and sugar or other addictive things. There's no.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Why is one thing a drug and one is. I know this is like, you know, who needs to hear me talk about this stuff again? No, but you did bring it up. No, I talked about this stuff a lot.

[Chris Estrada]

But that's what I. That's what I love about that. Even though. And even to this day, I like to have a drink here and then here and there. But like, that's what I like about that straight edge mentality is that like it's like, I'm not gonna lose control.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. Because then I'm ineffective and doing it consciously. That's the. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't fuck. It's funny that sex is one of them. At least I can fucking think, right? So that Minor Threat song was, you know, the beginning of being like, oh, it's cool to have discernment or whatever.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because like, blindly not doing stuff or blindly doing stuff. Both are. Both are blind.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. And I know that because I have a self destructiveness to me that I would. I. And I feel like I have to make things enemy because I do have, like addictive behaviors, you know? And like, I used to smoke cigarette. I used to smoke like a pack and a half a day. And like, or sometimes I would binge things or at some point I got into. I did do like heavy drugs. And. And it's because I know I have us like a self destructiveness.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

So if I don't make it an, like, there's a self loathing part of me that is like, yeah, you're a piece of shit. Do this because you're a piece of shit. But if I make it, then in me, then I can go, no, don't do that. It's a. It's a battle.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not a fix. It's. Yeah, it's just somebody selling you a fake fix.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So they can get rich and go on vacation on your pain.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is true. What we're. I know. You know how I know I'm binging? Because it doesn't happen often. But like, this is such a lame example. But like, I housed pretty much an entire bag of pistachios, which is. Yeah, I sound so dumb. But like, you know how I knew? And I know, Katie, it's so dumb. But they were spicy. Something that's spicy, like you eat it and then like, you get that flare up of pain. This is addiction. And you're actually chasing that. It has nothing to do with like your stomach or hunger. You're just trying to like, kind of cut yourself a little bit. And that probably goes into some sort of weird I deserve pain sort of place. But like, I know I'm binging. If I say, how many pistachios is enough? And I can hear my voice goes right back. It goes, never, never enough. And then I know I have to stop. I can't always do it. But that's when I'm in that addiction place.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Well, I used to binge in the Way with like my, I would do drugs with a friend and then I would go say this whole weekend, like, let's party. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Black and white.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like we're already doing it.

[Chris Estrada]

We're already doing.

[Pete Holmes]

And we're already gonna feel bad, so let's just do it a ton really bad on Monday. Yeah, that's real. I, I, I'm just saying. I have that too.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's why I had to stop drinking. Because I was like, if I drink, I'm like, well, we're doing this.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So like, do it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's actually kind of what made me good at stand up. It's what made like at the lifestyle. Because I was like, we're gonna do it, so we should do it. We should do it every night.

[Chris Estrada]

We should do it in New York.

[Pete Holmes]

Same. So Polish.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But like, I had to get enlightened to the idea that I was like, you need to sic that never ending hungry dog on the right things.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Because if you just let it eat Doritos, I think I'd be dead.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Or that's, or like, you know, you, I'd have the attitude of like, yeah, let's get fucked up and we'll find deal with it on Monday or we'll see how far we can take it and who knows, right?

[Pete Holmes]

Like it might go into Monday.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it might go into Monday. Or you're not even. Yeah, I'll get up. I don't even care what happens.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

And then.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that was also it. Sorry.

[Chris Estrada]

So, yeah, it's just that kind of thought of just like doing that kind of stuff and then it's like that kind of addictive behavior and self loathing that I always have to be careful with.

[Pete Holmes]

Same. And I think that's by the way, everybody.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Meaning I don't think it's like, oh, addicts have like self.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, you're right.

[Pete Holmes]

Other people are exercising, so they look fantastic. But their addiction is exercising. Or it's money. It's these things that.

[Chris Estrada]

Or it's work.

[Pete Holmes]

Or it's work.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Things that are culture values. So like our strange compulsions stick out.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Because they look like body weight or they look like inactivity or hangovers or whatever it might be. But a lot of people, I don't think anybody's off the hook when it comes to like strange unconscious and also unbridled rage, self loathing, confusion, fear, disgust, jealousy, disloyalty. Like people that just like think everything is attacking them, so they have to attack it. That's happening in that happiest. Like, I'm not trying to put Mr. Rogers down. I love Mr. Rogers. I'm saying, like, he dealt with that too.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like there's no exception.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Being in these bodies, living in this earth means sometimes you look at somebody and you just go, this guy for no reason. Or, or he's gonna kill me for no reason. Like fear, jealousy, anger. So we, we medicate it in different ways. And the reason I love talking about this is it's nice to know we're not alone.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And there are healthy, there are healthier ways. I'm gonna say it is better to go for a walk than it is to get fucked up.

[Chris Estrada]

Than get fucked up. Yeah. And it's also.

[Pete Holmes]

And they might have the same effect on your brain. Like literally.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a good walk can sometimes be. Sounds so lame, but like having a run.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes. That exactly. It does. It, it's just, you know what it is? It's like with some people, sometimes they can't fight the self loathing.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, because, because you need to.

[Pete Holmes]

Love yourself a little bit to do.

[Chris Estrada]

That, do that stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, I've said it a million times. I don't have a bottle of jogging in my freezer. I had a bottle of vodka. Yeah, it was easier.

[Chris Estrada]

It was easier, you know, because it reaffirms if you think you're like, you don't go, I'm a piece of shit, so therefore I'm doing piece of shit stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Wasn't the show originally called Punk Ass Pitch?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it was originally called that.

[Pete Holmes]

Your website still says Punk Ass.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, we've been meaning to take it off. I'm awful with my website and I.

[Pete Holmes]

Don'T think anybody cares or it's only old people like me that's like, let's check out his URL.

[Chris Estrada]

No, I, I care about other people website, but I'm just bad at doing my own.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean that's how I found out. Yeah. I, I actually like this fool.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, same here. I thought Punk Ass Bitch would have been a gimmicky like name.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. And it's not a gimmicky show.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it's not a gimmicky show.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

And the, and the only thing that was the title just came from a joke that I wrote several years ago.

[Pete Holmes]

This full.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, the, the, the title Punk Ass Bitch.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, the vital.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it came from. And then I just told the guys that I created the show with like, I don't think we should name it that.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, that's great. I thought maybe somebody pulled. Reigned you in.

[Chris Estrada]

No, they said, I. We should. I don't go. I don't think we should name it that. Because it wasn't. Dimen rationalizes the show completely.

[Pete Holmes]

This will, to me sounds like, I don't know, like an invitation to understanding a different terminology. Like, white people don't use fool as much as the Latino community.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, that's right.

[Pete Holmes]

So I was like, oh, cool. I. I kind of get it.

[Chris Estrada]

It kind of works in both ways. Like, there's a literal full to it.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

So the show and a bit of, like, just saying, like, how Latinos usually say fool a lot, you know, so, yeah, there was a little bit of that. And I just. Once we had an artist do the.

[Pete Holmes]

Title art, which is awesome.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

Very la. Very cool.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. I just said, oh, there's an elegance to it that I think is nice.

[Pete Holmes]

I gotta say it again, man, just because it's just so rare to watch a show where you're like, this show wanted to be. Oh, like. You know what I mean? Like, so many people make a show because they were offered a show.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This seems like, oh, this needed to be. There's nothing like it. There's no story like this. There's no vibe or flavor. Wasn't direct, derivative. I couldn't predict it. And it's an incredible, incredible pilot.

[Chris Estrada]

One of the best. Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

One of the best openings of a show. I won't ruin it. But the driving.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, the driveway thing, Look, I hate this.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't hate it about myself, but we all go into new shows going, like, let's see what we got. You know what I mean?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't shut it off.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, of course.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm like, obviously, especially when you create, you know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm gonna be like, this guy thinks he can make a show. I'm not saying that's how I consciously think somewhere back there. And when you did the thing with the car, I was like, God damn it. Like, you're almost mad. It's so good. And Val was sitting next to me and she was like, that's the funniest opening to a show I've seen.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, thanks, man. I really appreciate that.

[Pete Holmes]

Just to see. You can feel your drive and your desire to make it. Not just like, oh, I can make a show. This show. Let's make this show.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. I think when I met with the guy, I co created the show with some comedians, Jake Weissman, Matt Inga Britzen and Pat Bishop. They used to have a show on Comedy Central called Corporate. And then when there was an underrated show. Yeah, really underrated show. And then when they hit me up to do it, you know, I kind of had no thoughts of. I had some ideas, but.

[Pete Holmes]

So they approached you?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, they approached me and they said.

[Pete Holmes]

They just knew you from comedy?

[Chris Estrada]

They knew me from stand up. They knew me from the LA scene.

[Pete Holmes]

I love this.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, they knew me. And I was like, you know, I was. You know how it is. Stand up doesn't pay until it pays. So for a long time, you just have a job.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. It's like skateboarding.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They're really bad at it, or suddenly you're amazing.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

And I was working at my warehouse job when they hit me up.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

And then doing stand up at night and on the road on the weekends and stuff. And then they hit me up, and they were like. We were, like, producing stuff now. Would you want to work on something with us? And I love this. Yeah, I was.

[Pete Holmes]

What I want comedians to be doing with each other.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I never hear stories like this.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, they were real cool.

[Pete Holmes]

Running around, trying to get something for themselves. But they approached you because they already.

[Chris Estrada]

Had their show on Comedy Central. And they said, we're, like, looking to produce stuff and make other stuff. And then I said, yeah, they hit me up. I remember was like, I was working, literally, unloading a truck. And then I said, yeah, let's meet up or whatever. And then they told me. They go, we're kind of thinking of something in regards to where you live, that part of South Central. South Central Los Angeles. And what you kind of talk about in your stand up a little bit tonally. And I said, all right, cool. And then kind of came up with. And then we started crafting it together. I came up with the general idea.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Of a guy who works at a gang rehabilitation program. And then. Because I had. I had family members that were gang members and had been.

[Pete Holmes]

Your cousin? Your real cousin.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, my real cousin.

[Pete Holmes]

Was that drug. Not that it matters if it was drugs.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it was directly. A few of my cousins.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Chris Estrada]

A few of my cousins had been in prison who had been in gangs.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is kind of addressed in the show, which is the, like, the corporate. The money. What is it? It's what Michael Imperioli says.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, the nonprofit.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, you guys are victims.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, you're victims. Which is true.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like there's this insane, like, compared.

[Chris Estrada]

To an industrial complex.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

That's to make money.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's like, okay, so we need to fill this, and you get the people and you put them in.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it's a cycle.

[Pete Holmes]

Absolutely.

[Chris Estrada]

And we started crafting it from there. And they said, oh, we like this, but we don't want to make it just a workplace. Like, what's this guy's home life like?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

And what are his relationships like? And we started kind of modeling after themes that I had in my head, and one of them was, like, codependency. And then I just. I've always been intrigued by the idea with, like, codependency. After I found out what it was, I kind of found that in the funniest way. I had a. I got done with a relationship. This woman had broken up with me. And I was telling my. My friend, telling her what happened, and she said, she sounds like she's codependent. So I said, what's that? And she kind of described it to me. So I bought a book on codependency.

[Pete Holmes]

Codependent no more.

[Chris Estrada]

No Women who Love Too Much. And then I always joke around that I found out I was a woman who loves too much. Because when I read the book, I said, I think this is me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

Because I. The only reason I bought that book was to say, I'm gonna learn what codependency is so I can help her ass out. I can help her as not be codependent no more.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

And then. Then I thought, the fact that I'm doing. After reading that book, I said, I think the fact that I'm trying to help her is codependency.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

Because my life was in, like, shambles, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

So also, what I liked was also just. It's the idea of, like, what is altruism? You know, like, you're kind of. You don't. You don't know. Some people are altruistic, but some people are kind of helping others. A lot of codependencies to kind of help. Help others to forget your own problems and then pat yourself in the back about it.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Chris Estrada]

So you can tell yourself you're a good guy because you don't believe yourself to be a good guy.

[Pete Holmes]

To project your problems into other people.

[Chris Estrada]

And.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I'm gonna fix you.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

When it's like, wait, yeah, I'm only. I'm really seeing what I don't like about myself. And.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I've said this before on the pod, but it's. This is 100 out of life. I. I was in a codependent relationship, and I said, to her, I was like, I just found out what it was.

[Chris Estrada]

How old are you, man? I was like, 27.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Because I didn't find out what it was until I was like, 32, 31 maybe. And I said to her, I was like, we should read Codependent no more. And she went, let's read it together. And she wasn't. She wasn't kidding. Oh, my God, she wasn't kidding. And that's when I. But it's one of those things, like, how many people, like Val and I know that's my wife, we have codependent tendencies.

[Chris Estrada]

Like, we have to die.

[Pete Holmes]

And I know that it's just like, it's happening, but we're kind of like. We go, like, as long as it's working for us. Like, you know what I mean?

[Chris Estrada]

But also, having an awareness is good. It's not having an awareness of it.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know?

[Pete Holmes]

Right. Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Because you can regulate something if you have an awareness of it.

[Pete Holmes]

What is what. I'm actually asking, in case you remember better than me. That's not saying. I'm not embarrassed that I can't define it exactly. But it's nebulous. It's like. It's like needing.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Needing to help others in order to forget your. In order to avoid your own problems.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. That's interesting. Did you know Father Greg Boyle did this podcast from Homeboy Industries? Yeah. It's one of the best episodes.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And one of the things I love about him is that he'll tell you that he's in Homeboy to help himself. Like, he's doing it not. Not out of codependency, but he's like, I'm not trying to save anybody. I'm saved when I work with them, like, through the process of it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But it is interesting, and I thought the show does a great. A great job of making fun of the idea that it's like the cupcakes or like, who's helping who, that sort of staff. Because that is how most people are. Father Greg is just a living saint.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, he's a living saint.

[Pete Holmes]

But when I help people, what is altruism and what is codependency? And how much do I just. I can't bear the thought that I am not useful or think of others, but that's just because of me.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. And it's just one of those things. It's like, sometimes, yeah. I find myself in these situations where, like, even with my family, they would ask me to help them with something.

[Pete Holmes]

And families are codependent.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. And I would go, I would say with an attitude, all right, I'll do it. And then my mom would say, well, don't help me with that face. And I go, no, no, I want to help. And then like, so it's like one of those things where it's like, it was just funny to help in a way that's like, I just wanted to say that I did it, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Of course. Because your identity when it comes to family, it hinges on like, good son, bad son, close family, not close family. Some of those things are too painful to deal with. And for me, I often do stuff like, let's say my dad will ask me to call his friend's friend's friend's son who wants to get into comedy.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'll say to Val, I'm like, I know there's. There is a route. I tree graph it. I go, I could go, dad, I really wish you would ask me, like, do you mind reaching? Like, you just tell me to do it. I don't feel like you see me as a grown up. I don't think. I don't feel respect or whatever it might be. However I want to articulate that. But when I plan it out, I'm like, okay, it's a three month no or a 30 second yes. And I just go, sure, dad. And I call this guy and then I have a laugh with him because he didn't want his dad to put him in touch. Like, neither of us wanted it to happen. Sometimes you actually make a friend out of it. But, like, nothing was gained, learned, or achieved. Like, my dad doesn't have any better understanding of me or my feelings. So it's like a temporary fix. But I'll pick that temporary fix rather than the. Because you know why, dude, I don't think at the end of that three months that it's even possible that my dad would go, like, you know, I never even thought that you might have felt that way.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

He'd just be like, oh, big shot son doesn't have time for his father. It would be three months of that.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then would end in the same spot. Or I can just go, fuck, man. Okay. And I'm not proud of that.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. But it's also a lot of that, I think probably has to do with accepting who your father is.

[Pete Holmes]

I love that.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. Me forgiving that.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And surrendering, like, to me.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. I think it's like, it's just accepting, you know, I think it'd be different if you were going out of your way to help this person in a way for you to. Or to like kind of pat yourself in the back about it.

[Pete Holmes]

You're right. Yeah, I want to just get it over with.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, you just kind of want to get it over with and you know, you'll do a solid for your dad and his friend.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, as opposed to, like, let me take this young person under my.

[Pete Holmes]

Wings and stay on top of.

[Chris Estrada]

And stay on top of.

[Pete Holmes]

So my dad will go like, well done.

[Chris Estrada]

Well, yes. Yeah. So, yeah, we were just trying to get in themes of like, codependency, but also. Oh, thanks, man. And then also just looking at things through like a working class lens, you know, like the fact that these people live in South Central Los Angeles and. And kind of trying to depict the LA that, like, isn't like the rest of la.

[Pete Holmes]

It's literally the flyover party.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah, it's literally the flyover part. Yeah. You fly over South Central and Englewood, you fly over Compton, South Central Englewood.

[Pete Holmes]

That's it.

[Chris Estrada]

At Lenox, into the airport.

[Pete Holmes]

That's how you know you're almost home.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you can drive around it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, around it to get home. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is funny.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I've lived in LA for, you know, I was here for 10 years or so. Never made it to South Central. Maybe once took the, the Compton exit.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because there's something over there. And I was like, is this. Am I supposed to do that? Like, I still think of it as this thing tell. Dissuade me of that or tell me.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, yeah, you know, what's really going on. You know, what I love about it is also just growing up down there in that part of LA is that like, remember a few years ago when people in doing comedy and like being around this part of town, which is like Los Feliz or Hollywood or East Hollywood or whatever, people talking about, like, people who are in the arts. Will you live in the area? And I remember doing comedy out here and there was a discussion years ago about Lady Bird. I don't remember what the discussion was. Which was a good film.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

But I just remember it was getting to be a discussion that was like, what's the point of this? And I just thought, you know what, what I like about where I live.

[Pete Holmes]

What's the point of the movie Ladybird?

[Chris Estrada]

No, what's the point of all this? Discussing it? Oh, I think. And I thought, you know, it's great. Nobody's talking about Lady Bird where I live. And I go. And that's not to say that they don't watch Lady Bird or have an appreciation for, like, independent film. That's great. But they got better shit to think about, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

You have done it. That is so funny. Yeah, they might be watching Lady Bird, but it's not lighting up the corners.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it's not lighting up the. You know, it's like. Yeah, that's what it is. It's like. That's not to say there's not somebody down there who watches independent film.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Cause there is. You know, but. Yeah, but, you know, I grew up down there, and what I liked about down there, it's like it metaphorically feels 200 miles away. People have real jobs. Like, you know, my mom's a janitor.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not like just show business.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. It's not show busy. And those aspects that feel show busy are people who are like dudes who want to rap or people who went to become athletes.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. Which is the same for Chicago, Boston, New York. It doesn't.

[Chris Estrada]

It's not unique. It's not unique. It. It's the one thing that I think is unifying is that, like, every city has a working class population or a working class section, you know, and that's the one thing that, like, you know, I think class can be a unifying thing, especially if you're working class. And like, you know what it's like, whether you're white, black, Latino, or Asian, or Native American, if. If you don't have money to fix your roof, you know that putting a blue tarp. A tarp over it will stop it from leaking.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know?

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Chris Estrada]

It's a band aid.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Chris Estrada]

So.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's a language.

[Chris Estrada]

It's a language. Yeah. I think it's a language or recycling. You don't recycle for the great of the better of the earth. It's. You take your recycling down because you know you're gonna get like 30 bucks for it.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

So I think I just like.

[Pete Holmes]

I think recycling in the way you. Your attitude towards it says everything about your class.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I've said this before in the pod, too, but like, like the very, very rich people I know are, like, obsessed with recycling.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And doing it properly.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because it's one of the few things. It's one of the few, like, conflicts.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That remains. Like, can you recycle a pizza box?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Cheese in it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you know what, man? We're talking about Lady Bird right now.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This isn't like a real conversation.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. So, yeah, just kind of instilling those things. But yeah, living down there, it's always been, I don't know, it's. It has its own things, you know, like its own problems. But it also, I, I don't know, I think what I liked about it, especially once I started doing more and more comedy, is that it grounded me in the sense that people didn't care that I did comedy down there.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, or like they have their own things or even like thinking about my mom, like, you know, she, she didn't speak much English and she never. So if she went to go see me stand up, she probably wouldn't understand most of what I'm saying. Oh, wow. You know, so there's that, those are those aspects to it that I kind of like that. I'm like, that's freeing. Grounding, it's more grounding. You know, they don't give a shit. Or I, or sometimes when I hang out with my friends who still live down there is that, you know, they either work in construction or they have office jobs or, you know, maybe they are a teacher or something. But they, sometimes they'll be interested. As much as they're probably interested in telling. Telling me, me telling them about what I do, they're also interested in telling me what they do.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

Or talking about their kids.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

Which is kind of nice because you just go, no, they want to forget.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, that's what Rob Riggle said to me when we had our baby. Goes. Just remember, nobody gives a about your kids. And that's la.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's not the rest of the world.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

When I visit my friends in Ohio.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They want to hear about your kids.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

LA doesn't give a about your kids because they can't make any money off of it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. So like with my friends who live in that part of la, it's like they care, you know, or they want to hear that kind of stuff and.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, again, I'm gonna risk being embarrassed because there's just certain feelings. Just tell me if I'm way off the mark. But was, is there more community? Is there more of a sense of like, this is our neighborhood, this is our.

[Chris Estrada]

A little bit. I mean.

[Pete Holmes]

Or no.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes and no, I think yes. In the sense that like when shit goes down, people feel probably attached to their neighbors or people, you know, so sometimes you get multi generational housing where it's like, you know, you get this kind of like where the kids live there with their grandparents. And their kids and, you know, so you're seeing people kind of growing up with each other. So I think there is that sense of, like.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

Community, you know, so. But also down there, sometimes there's like, racial tension, you know, sometimes there's like racial. Sometimes there's tension between Latinos and blacks, sometimes there's not. Like, sometimes we're the best of friends, sometimes we're not. Like, it's all.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not one thing.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. It's all ebbs and flows, you know, and it's all like. So there's things like. Of that nature.

[Pete Holmes]

I think I just. I think what I'm basing that on, other than movies, obviously, is like, again, I read the book Tribe, Please put in the sound of a round of applause here. Katie, I'm just kidding. But he talked about. I know Mexico is a different situation, but you'll see the parallel Mexican people that immigrate to the United States and make more money, often more suicide, more depression.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's. It's because, like, the forced community. Here's another way to. To speak to it. In my life, when I was in college and I lived in the dorms, I was just like, kind of a happier. Not that. Not that I am now because it turns out I like being alone a lot, but like, that forced community time in my life was bad at times, but then it was also good in these.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, that's what I mean. It kind of flows, you know, or sometimes there's like, you guys are angry about, you know, there's tension or there's not. And. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's not one, but I think people talk to each other more.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Maybe it was to let themselves know that they're either pissed off or happy, you know, just. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Interesting. I saw in your stand up, you talked about being in a lot of fights. Is that true? You lost a lot of fights?

[Chris Estrada]

Yes and no. In the sense that. In the sense that I talk about. I've been in a lot of fights, but I lose those fights. Yeah. You know, because there's like an honor in that. Like, it would just always crack me up because sometimes I would see guys fight and then a guy would. The guy. That one would lift the other guy up and go, you know what? I respect you because at least you fought me and stuff like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Really?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, makes. It makes sense and no sense at the same time.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no. I get it both ways, too.

[Chris Estrada]

I get it both ways.

[Pete Holmes]

I actually think it's kind of like I don't know.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't want to say it's beautiful, because it's not beautiful, but there's something sort of. You know what it is? It's an outside perspective. It's like you with the junk food. It's like, at least you're noticing. Or I'm being codependent with Val. But at least there's an outside perspective. So they're fighting, but at least there's an outside perspective of, like, what does this mean? Who are we? What does it say about ourselves?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So were you.

[Chris Estrada]

Well, I think.

[Pete Holmes]

What was the situation where you jumped?

[Chris Estrada]

No, I was always. You know, sometimes when you're just like. When you grow up in these neighborhoods and there's gangs or there's kind of like, you don't want to be a mark. So sometimes you go, I rather have you kick my ass. I'd rather us fight, and you kick my ass and then just let this happen.

[Pete Holmes]

Let what happen? Like, the stalking, the chasing.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. The, like, punking me. Or the. Or the. Like. I remember one time I got robbed. Like, I was, like, 15. Some, like, gang members from the same high school robbed me. And I just remember being like, they're like, give me your money. And I was like. I go, we're just gonna have to fight because, like, I just remember being like, nah, we're gonna get down. Because I rather you whip my ass than me just hand it over.

[Pete Holmes]

Because then that it never ends.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Really?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. So there is that part of it where you just feel. I don't know if it's like a.

[Pete Holmes]

Fatalism or, like, it seems Machiavellian genius to me as you're like, we can do this in one lump payment, or you can harass me for 10 years.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Where it's just one of those things where it's like, you just get so angry that you go, I rather you whip my ass than you just take it from me. I'd rather like us have to go through this whole thing. Like, you're not gonna get it that easy.

[Pete Holmes]

And also, aren't you kind of calling out that they probably don't want to even kick your. Like, it takes a lot of energy.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And risk.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Risk of getting in trouble. Risk of getting arrested. Risk of getting hurt. Even just beating somebody up.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is gonna be painful. Even if you're really winning.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Even if you're not getting hit. It still sucks to punch a wooden person. Like, you're basically wood with a little tempur pedic foam on it.

[Chris Estrada]

So I think there's a little bit of that. Of, like, when I was younger, like, that. Now I would just. If somebody robbed me, I'd just be like, I take it. I don't give a shit. You know? But I think when I was younger, you probably had. Have. I'm sure I had this sense of, like, pride, of, like, being like. You know what it was? I remember this is a really dumb, valuable lesson that I learned when I was young. Very dumb, but valuable. One time I was talking shit to my cousin. I was like, 13 at the time, and my cousin had just probably been out of prison, and I was talking shit to him, and out of nowhere, he punched me. And then I was like 12 or 13, and he was a grown man, and he, like, punched me. He didn't knock me out, but he dropped me. And I remember getting up and being like, you know, angry, crying. Why would you do that? And then he calmly sat me down and said, you weren't expecting that, were you? And I said, no, why would you hit me? We're family. This and that. He goes, okay, see, I'm family. And look at what I did. Imagine what somebody who isn't family would do to you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yikes.

[Chris Estrada]

And then he said, you shouldn't talk shit to someone unless you're willing to it to go somewhere.

[Pete Holmes]

Like. Because they might get you.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, they might get you. That person who you're talking shit to if you. They might be willing to punch. And you. And you just think you're frivolously talking shit.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. You know, so it might come back to you.

[Chris Estrada]

It might come back to you. So, you know, don't talk shit to. Don't be rate someone.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, because I wasn't, like, arguing with him. I was berating him.

[Pete Holmes]

Right, right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, different. I was calling him a bitch. I was calling him all these things. And it wasn't like I was having an argument, because you can argue with mostly anyone.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

It was berating him.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

I was literally talking shit. So then he said, look at what I did to you. And I'm your family member and I love you. Now imagine what somebody who doesn't love you would do to you. Wow. He goes, don't talk shit to someone unless you're willing to take it to the other level. It took me like, a day to process that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

I was like, yeah. I guess I didn't tell him. He was right.

[Pete Holmes]

But I was like, I guess probably too. That's interesting. What, was I just gonna say no, not. Not that but the thing before was, who cares? Let's live in the tension.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I was interested in more of the neighborhood stuff. Was there a feeling of, like, is it. Is it. Is the language used? I'm gonna get out of here. Is that part of it or is it.

[Chris Estrada]

No, because I lived there for a pretty long time. Up until, like, a few years. I lived there up until, like, during. During the pandemic. I moved in with my girlfriend in, like, in Los.

[Pete Holmes]

And it wasn't with the. Again, I'm getting this just from movies. It wasn't like, I'm getting out of South Central. It's just where your girlfriend.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, I was just like, I'm just. Well, my girlfriend lives in Los Feliz, so I'm just gonna move here. I actually. It was never that, like, I'm getting out of here. Cause I just liked where I live. I understood that, like, yeah, sometimes there's troubles.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

But that's okay. That's what life is.

[Pete Holmes]

That reminds me of what I was gonna say when you were like, you're gonna have to fight me. You're 15.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So they. They. They're trying to rob you, and you say, we're gonna have to fight. Would that end it? Like, you wouldn't be a punk at that point.

[Chris Estrada]

It would probably. Most of the time, it ended it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, this guy's a pain in the ass.

[Chris Estrada]

It would just be like, he's not an easy.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

He's not an easy mark. Like, he's.

[Pete Holmes]

At least 20 minutes.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. It's gonna take some time. They kind of like. And it's. They want to rob someone that will give it to them right away because they're scared. And I was scared, but I just. At the time was like, I'd rather not. Like, we're just gonna. I'm not. I don't want. I'm gonna feel worse if I just give it to you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, for sure. Yeah. Which maybe in hindsight, it's probably just because I'm young and I'm not in control of my emotions like that. Now. If someone tried to rob me, I'd be like, just fucking take it. I don't give a shit.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it's not worth it. I'm not. I would never say, just kick my ass.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Or we're just gonna have to fight or.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. I. Yeah. In Father Greg's books, there's all these. It was always. I guess the randomness of gang violence is always the most. I don't want to call it. Say it's the most terrifying thing, but it's one of the terrifying things.

[Chris Estrada]

No, it's random. It's randomness, especially if you're not a gang member.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

Because, you know, from my understanding, being growing up with some of those guys in my family or being around some of those guys just growing up in my neighborhood, it's that they understand it's not random to them because it's a life. They leave, they live. Yeah, but. But it's random to you if you're just walking down the street and somebody robs you or shoots you, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Or just says, where are you from?

[Chris Estrada]

Where you from?

[Pete Holmes]

But you're not from any. Which means, what gang are you in?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're not in a gang, but they kind of know you're not in a gang. It's just. It's like asking somebody, like, in the 30s, got a light?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Really?

[Pete Holmes]

They just want to kill you or what time is it? Yeah, Whatever it is. And that always chills me.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you live in a. In a fear of gangs and that type of.

[Chris Estrada]

I think. I think if you're street smart, you just go, oh, I know where to go. You live in fear of, like, I don't want to get with. But you just know. You learn how to talk to people too, you know, like. Oh, you know, those are those guys. And be cool with them, you know, like. Right. Don't be too meek around them or. No.

[Pete Holmes]

How interesting. So you have to kind of.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Represent as.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes. Yeah. Just. Yeah. Just don't be too meekish or whatever. But also there is this sense of, like, you're scared of them because they, you know, they can do something and they will do something most of the time. But also sometimes when you have family members that come from that, it just goes. You kind of know how to talk to them, you know, so it's just one of those things and. Or they feel familiar to you enough or whatever. So.

[Pete Holmes]

Interesting.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, but it is. Yeah, it is interesting. It's a real dichotomy because I always used to say, like, I understand. It's weird because if you have family members who are gang members, they represent two things to you, is that I know they can be scary to you, but they're also loving to me. And that's complicated because, you know, maybe my family member went to prison for killing someone, which I know objectively makes them a bad guy, but also I've known him to love me.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, give me good advice or treat me well, that's.

[Pete Holmes]

Father Greg has a really interesting perspective on that, where he's. By the way, we're all different levels of mentally ill. So when I say mentally ill, I don't mean. Or desperate. Might be another way to put.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Or I guess you could say misguided. He usually says mentally ill, meaning anybody that killed somebody that was an act of mental unwellness.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Meaning they weren't getting something that they needed. Again, I'm not trying. I'm not. Not trying to be Father Greg. That just helped me to understand. Of course they're loving in. In these ways, and then there's a deficit or some other thing going.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Or another thing going on that. Yeah. You just, you know, it's an upbringing that made him that way or personal trauma.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's what he said. It's always. There's that scale. There's the 10 questions. It's like, were you sexually abused? Were you neglected? Were you drugs?

[Chris Estrada]

Were you this?

[Pete Holmes]

Were you that? And he's like, every gang member he's ever met is 8 out of 10, at least.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

Which means it is an illness. Meaning here's how you catch this disease.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Which is a byproduct of environment, lack of resources, those kind of things.

[Pete Holmes]

Absolutely.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So when we say mentally, I'm just trying to be really careful with my words. Because when you say mentally ill, it's like, well, like the joker. It's like, no, not like the Joker. Like all of us. Like codependency or depression or this or that. It can manifest in all these different ways. And that's what I love about those books is it just makes you go like, oh, my God. He always says people that join gangs are never running to something. They're always running from something.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I mean, people I know who have been like that. Yeah. Who have been part of gangs or family members. I knew. I had a feel when I got older, and I understand, like, the complexities of human emotions. You go, all right, I see that they were running away from something. Right. They're not. Like, they. They're not tough dudes for the sake of being tough.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what he says, too. He goes, they're not looking to kill somebody. Most of them are looking to get killed. Like. Yeah, that's deep down.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a fatal.

[Pete Holmes]

There's something. It's us with food or. Or drugs or addiction. It's a similar sort of despair.

[Chris Estrada]

Or. I remember one time one of my cousins was Going back to prison. And then I said, aren't you sad? He goes. And he kind of said, it'll be like, yes, but at the same time, I'll get to relax.

[Pete Holmes]

Interesting.

[Chris Estrada]

He goes, like, I've been running too crazy out here. I always got to look after my back. Like, Right. Look. You know? So he goes, I'll be at peace for a bit or something.

[Pete Holmes]

Interesting. And imagine, see, that's running from something.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it's running from something.

[Pete Holmes]

Father Greg also told that story. He went to some cop seminar about why, like, the psychology of a gang member.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And he. There's a pamphlet and it says, why do people join gang? And you open it and it says in big letters, excitement. And he goes, I'd make A list of 150 reasons why people join a gang. Excitement wouldn't be on the list.

[Chris Estrada]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like. But that's what we think. It's like, oh, they want to be cowboys or they're bored. And it's like, no, man. Some. Something's really.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Let them down.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Something's let them down. And it's tough. And. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't want to make. I'm quoting. I just don't want to sound like I understand.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm trying to understand.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes. And I think that's what it is. I mean, I think with a lot of those, it's sort of that. That's the one thing we tried to do in the show, which was like. Because I was like, how do we got to make these characters feel the comedy doesn't fall on them.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

If. You know. Because anything can be made a joke. I just don't think there's anything too comedic about certain people's trauma. Unless it's your own trauma and you're making a cathartic. You're being cathartic about it. I totally get.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

But like. Yeah, just finding a way. Like, how do you make that. The human humanistic backdrop and then the comedy is me and my cousin who butt heads or whatever.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, it's.

[Pete Holmes]

I think that's well put. And going into the show, I was a little nervous just for you. As an undertaking. I was like, how do you do this?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

How do you not make it be like, oh, he doesn't. He's stupid. Or he doesn't understand your references. He resorts to violence too quickly on a of lot. Like, pretty sure that's not what's going on.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah. And then it's just. You kind of. They're both Similar. Very similar. People who just have similar.

[Pete Holmes]

It's me with a different zip code.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Or a different upbringing.

[Chris Estrada]

So I think it's like. Yeah, just finding a way to do that. And then even with certain characters, like with even the Michael Imperioli character, he's a Unitarian minister, which was a way to. A challenge was to not make him feel like a white savior.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

And we thought. Make him as flawed as everyone else in the show.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And I thought it. The way you introduced him was great.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, Just make him as flawed as anyone else. Because I wasn't interested in making a white savior character because it feels so demeaning. Or. Or even like somebody. Like, I think sometimes when people paint white liberals on tv, they either pen paint them as condescending.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Or. Or white saviors in a way that it's kind of patting their backs. Their own backs.

[Pete Holmes]

Sure.

[Chris Estrada]

And I go, what about these old school lefties? Like, that exists, you know, who are like the Bernie Sanders elk.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, who's to have an anger to them.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

And then like, I thought about Unitarians because my girlfriend grew up a Unitarian and she told me about going to Unitarian Church and these old school lefties.

[Pete Holmes]

That still had a fierceness to them.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah. Still had a fierceness to them, but also seemed deeply flawed human beings in the way that everybody is. Deeply flawed.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think once you're giving. When your life gets that real and when you're talking to somebody like Father Greg, they're just real about everything.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, they're real about everything.

[Pete Holmes]

They're living real life.

[Chris Estrada]

Because he's seen it all. He's seen it all and he's lost people.

[Pete Holmes]

So he's not trying to pretend to be like the politest or the happiest or the sweetest guy. Oh, this is a real guy.

[Chris Estrada]

He's a real guy. And I don't think he's waxing poetic.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, really cool. Yeah. So, yeah, I think it's just stuff like that. But yeah, I just. I don't know, I like working class people. Or I saw this movie called Killer of Sheep years ago that really influenced the show. And it was just about this kind of depressed working class dude, black dude in Watts. And it was. I just that idea of, like, you never see any. When you. You. You never see entertainment when it takes place in. In like, places like South Central or those kind of neighborhoods. Somebody be existential. Yeah, yeah. So wanting to capture some existentialism to the main character.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. You know, and you also don't see somebody making pour over coffee like the first shot of the show. But that was also this weird. Not that it's your job to invite white people to the experience, but it is your job to not it in however you choose to do it, to go. Like, hey, don't forget there's different types of people everywhere. And that was a very quick way to go.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. They're all the same. They all come from the same place. And they're. They're both valid.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Chris Estrada]

Both authentic to the place.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. But it did make. Give me a bridge to you. I also love good coffee.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, let's come back. We'll talk a little bit more about the show, but also, I want to know how you got into comedy. I also want to know if you've ever died, almost died. Seen a ghost, seen an alien, the hardest time you've laughed, all that when we come back. And I also want to hear a little bit more about those. That drug phase you said you went through, we just kind of glossed past that. But we'll be back in literally two minutes after this. Pardon the interruption, weirdos. This wonderful episode is brought to us by our friend at Mizzen in Maine. No joke. I said, I guess it's. And Mizzen and Main. I like to say Main, Mizzen and Maine are the clothing company that I am most excited about. It is so hard to find clothes when I am touring that are comfortable enough to wear on the plane, that are wrinkle resistant, all of that stuff that are going to stay looking good, that are warm enough, but not too warm, and also look fantastic on stage. I really can't overstate this. 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All right, everybody, enjoy the rest of the chat with Chris Estrada. And we're back.

[Chris Estrada]

We're back.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, let's do the drug thing first. What was that you said you got heavy into drugs?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, just partying with my friends, like.

[Pete Holmes]

But hard, hard stuff.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Like there was a friend I. There was friends I used to do like meth with and stuff like that. And like, I think a lot of it at the time I was just. Probably had a lot of self hatred and it was a lot of like, yeah, let's, let's do this. So let's see what happens. But I never had a full. I. I don't ever want to paint it like I, I had a full blown addiction.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

I felt like I had, I dabbled in that stuff because I just. It was like binging on a weekend and let's get fucking crazy. And it never got its claws in you? Yeah, never got its claws in me because I had friends who. It got their claws in them, you know, and that had a real repercussion to their lives. And in a way I felt like at the time I thought maybe I was being a tourist, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

You felt. Even at the time.

[Chris Estrada]

In hindsight now I can feel like, like, you know what, what gave you the.

[Pete Holmes]

So a tourist is somebody that has, you know, you're. You're going deep in the cave, but you have a belay on.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a rope on you. What was your rope like who was kind of. Because we're talking about and relating about some self loathing, some self love issues. Yeah, that sort of stuff. That again, I think we all have. But what was anchoring you at that time?

[Chris Estrada]

You know, I don't know, maybe a fear. Probably a fear. Really getting just good old fashioned fear. Yeah, good old fashioned fear. I was more of a. Let's see what hap. What happens happens. But like more of a. I think when you get into it, you gradually go into addiction. That light, that tunnel, I think seems scary to me.

[Pete Holmes]

Me too.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's funny how some of those DARE campaigns when I was a kid, like worked like I'LL never do snuff because they showed us all the videos of people that had no faces.

[Chris Estrada]

And I was.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll never put tobacco in my face. I really, I see people do it. I'm like, what are you. Not just like. I really think it's super intense. So when you smoked meth, it didn't like light you up in a way that you were like this? Like just that.

[Chris Estrada]

No. You know, it's funny, it made me go. It made me think of the things that I did when I go. It made me feel more comfortable and like I'm a piece of shit, therefore I'm doing this piece of shit thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, interesting.

[Chris Estrada]

As opposed to. This is making me feel amazing.

[Pete Holmes]

It reinforced.

[Chris Estrada]

It reinforced things. I think I would often do that I would do things that would reinforce what I felt.

[Pete Holmes]

So you had to start with the problem.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is the belief that you were a piece of.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes, did.

[Pete Holmes]

Where did that come from? What was going on in your family?

[Chris Estrada]

You know, just always self doubt, you know, just like whatever I had been through in my family, whatever struggles I had, I think I was just kind of like, like, you know, low self esteem, which all things that I think never leave you, but you learn how to cope with or you learn how to fight.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

So I think it was a lot of that kind of stuff, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Did your parents split up?

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, yeah, my parents weren't. They weren't together. And then I think it was probably that I was always looking for like a father figure too. Like I would try to look for it in books and movies. Borrow John Taffer. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Dad.

[Chris Estrada]

Dad.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah. And I see you on the show. You have a fake bar.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just to meet him. You're like, yeah, this bar isn't working.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Chris, can I see the permits? It's like, just yell at me.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. But I think, I think it was stuff like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Raised by your mom more.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, raised by my mom, my grandma, stuff like that, you know. But I also, I think just. Also probably just what I think is probably clinical depression, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Stuff like that. I was always telling my friend the other day, I said, it's hard when you have to. You spend your whole life thinking you're. You're sad because. And you think, well, I must be a poet.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

That sees the world differently.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

And then you just find out, ah, something's actually just wrong with you.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

It's not that you're a poet.

[Pete Holmes]

Your brain mixed the wrong cocktail.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

A little too much of this. Not enough of that.

[Chris Estrada]

Not enough of that. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And did that draw you to comedy? Like, when did comedy come into your life?

[Chris Estrada]

I think movies and comedy always came into my life. And as a. As a way to just like, you know, latchkey kid. My mom would let me rent movies all the time or I'd be at the library. So I think just even like arts, like, whether it was like punk rock music or films and tv, I think the first comedy I really enjoyed was probably like, you know, staying up to watch Conan or Saturday Night Live or like, you know, or whatever. Like Mexican comedies that I knew about or whatever. And then. But I. I didn't start Stand up till I was like. I started at 29. Really? Yeah. I'm 38 and I started at 29. Wow. And it was just.

[Pete Holmes]

I wonder if there's an advantage to that, though. You kind of came in a little bit more formed as a person probably.

[Chris Estrada]

I think, you know what, it was too. It was also like. Like, I started late because I think for a long time I just was scared of taking that leap, you know? And I think sometimes with being so much into art, it's. You start vicariously living through other people.

[Pete Holmes]

Interesting.

[Chris Estrada]

You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

As a fan, it's one of the.

[Pete Holmes]

Reasons I'm a terrible fan.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, that's why I sit down to your show. To be like, let's see what this piece of. That's again, unconscious.

[Chris Estrada]

No, but that's.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm not great at museums. I'm not great in audience.

[Chris Estrada]

But that's the thing is sometimes I think even with like that punk stuff, I would go, I love the philosophy so much of. I became more of a fan of the philosophy of diy.

[Pete Holmes]

I was gonna say diy.

[Chris Estrada]

And you. It doesn't matter if you're not good, just start and you'll get good.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

Like, I was probably more of a fan than I was a practitioner of it. Yeah. And I think a lot of that has to do, but, like, low self esteem. I remember one time telling a girlfriend that I wanted to try stand up. And she said, that's for losers. And I went, you're right.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Estrada]

I go, that makes a lot of sense. And then I didn't do stand up for like.

[Pete Holmes]

But she was. She's not wrong. It's for people who have lost.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes. When I. When I started Stand Up, I'd just been fired from a job.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I got that at Stand up after my first wife left me. It's like, it is for losers. She's absolutely right. And thank God there's something for us losers.

[Chris Estrada]

At that point. I didn't want to be a loser to her.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. You know, but turns out you actually did want to be a loser to her, because that is the risk. We're back to what we were saying about stand up at the beginning. Like making little origami shapes out of your feelings is very. I, you know, I don't want to say frou frou or whatever the word is, but it's similar to painting a landscape. But we want it to look like rock and roll.

[Chris Estrada]

It's not.

[Pete Holmes]

It's.

[Chris Estrada]

It can be both, I guess. I think it was, you know. Yeah. Just getting through all that, like getting to stuff like that. I became such a fan. But what was good, I think it, it informed me, you know, I, I like stand up much way before I ever started it.

[Pete Holmes]

Who did you like?

[Chris Estrada]

Colin Quinn. I was a big fan of Greg, Geraldo. Oh, wow. You know, Maria Bamford, Davitel, stuff like that. That I would listen to that I was like, this is great. But also at the same time I liked movies and I was familiar with people who wrote movies and. But it also seemed like so impenetrable to me that I was like, well, I don't know. I'm just a working class guy from this neighbor. I. I don't know how you do it, but I think what was great about starting stand up is that send up is not impenetrable. There's literally an open mic.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it's open.

[Chris Estrada]

It's open.

[Pete Holmes]

The first word is open.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The second word is the thing you hold.

[Chris Estrada]

That's absolutely. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Even the name kind of tells you what to do.

[Chris Estrada]

It's exactly that. Mic. Yeah, get the mic. So I think a lot of that was that and then. But yeah, I think getting into of, you know, comedy and, and film and TV and stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Where did you perform first?

[Chris Estrada]

If I remember correctly, one of my first open mics was at this. It was. It's no longer around or it's the building still. There was a club in. In South Central in Leimert Park. It was called Maverick Flats. Okay. There's a. Mostly like a black comedy club night that they would have there and I lived close by, so I just said I'm gonna go do it it. And then I did was comedy. I'll stand up. Yeah. They used to have this like. I think I went. The night they used to do almost like Apollo style is that they would slam their keys on the Table or ring their keys. And once they wanted you off. Oh, yeah. So I did that. And then. I think that might have been my first one. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no.

[Chris Estrada]

Oh, no.

[Pete Holmes]

Never give the audience a mechanism with which to unifiedly.

[Chris Estrada]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell you you're done.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They give you the light. Yeah, I got the keys. I gotta go. I'm gonna jingle their keys. The jingle them is like, I kind of want you to go. Banging them is like, really? You gotta go. And was there like a. A pressure to do more, like, bolder, stand up? Like, because you watch the Apollo, you kind of attack the stage or at least attack with your personality. Like, go big or. Or go confidently at least.

[Chris Estrada]

I think it was for me probably to go confidently and also go colloquial. You know, I go, well, I live here. And I bet if I can write jokes about where I live, they're local to here.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

So that'll hit, you know, I think I did. Oh, I did. Okay enough to go. I should do this again.

[Pete Holmes]

You didn't get the keys?

[Chris Estrada]

I got the keys like, three minutes in.

[Pete Holmes]

Three minutes. Pre keys. Pretty good.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. So it's not bad, you know, and then. But yeah. That you wrapped it up.

[Pete Holmes]

You're looking at your set list. And if I get the keys here, that'll be my closer. But if I keep going. Kind of hope I get the keys before this bit because I don't really have an ending to it, but, you.

[Chris Estrada]

Know, stuff like that. But I. Like you said, I mean, it's for loser. I remember, like, wanting to start before. Like, remember I used to. I was telling someone the other day that I'm bad at, like, picking up signs. Like, you know, when people. Like. I remember I was talking to this young woman. She was. She's an actor. And she told me one time she came out and she just got, like, quit her job. And then she saw, like, she was in New York and she saw, like, this matchbook booked for acting school or something. She knew that's the sign that I have to f. That I have to go. I go, good for you. Because I was always bad at, like, picking up, like, I. I used to work at an animal hospital and the.

[Pete Holmes]

Dog went stand up comedy.

[Chris Estrada]

And I was like, I don't think so. But my job was to work outside and look over the parking. The. The parking spaces and to pick up dog shed. And I remember one time my finger poked through the bag and went into the dog. And then I. Instead of taking that as a sign that I should quit this job, I remember saying, like. Like, I remember crying, like, going up to the roof and just being like, what am I doing with my life? Because I was, like, 25 or 26 at the time. And then being like, what am I doing with my life? I like, I had dog in my finger, this and that. And then I go, this is. I'm never gonna do this again. And then I went back the next day, and I worked there for, like, another seven months. And I'm like. I just knew. I'm, like, bad. Epic. I wish that was the moment that I started. Stand up.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. And it's too late. Yeah, you've told the story.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't go back and be like. And that's when I did my first open month.

[Chris Estrada]

And I went that night. No, I just.

[Pete Holmes]

Seven months.

[Chris Estrada]

I think I worked there for, like, seven more months, dude.

[Pete Holmes]

It's also. It's in the same ballpark as codependency, because I remember having a girlfriend, the same girlfriend, and being like, I gotta break up with this person. I forget she did something that was very mean or something like that that I perceived to be mean. I went in the shower, which was the only place I was ever alone because we were always together, together. So I took, like, an invol, like, a unnecessary shower just to kind of think it through. I was like, I think that's it. Like, it was a bridge too far. We got to break up. It was seven months later. Seven months later. But little did she know she was dating someone that was, like, someone was.

[Chris Estrada]

Waiting any min.

[Pete Holmes]

7, like, vacations together. I don't mean, like, big trips, of course. I just mean, like, going up to plays, like, with someone who was like, I made up my mind seven months ago.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's like, I say it anytime it comes up.

[Chris Estrada]

You.

[Pete Holmes]

If anyone's listening and they're doing that, that's meaner than just breaking up somewhere.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you learn that.

[Chris Estrada]

Learn that.

[Pete Holmes]

Took me a while. Emily Gordon, I think, was the one that was like, that's your bit about open relationships. That's like serial killer stuff. Your bit, but also, like, just knowing you're gonna break up with somebody. Being like, but I'm kind of bored. Yeah, Just kind of like, stick around.

[Chris Estrada]

Just deal with your feelings.

[Pete Holmes]

Exactly.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Just deal with your feelings.

[Pete Holmes]

I wasn't even bored. I was terrified of breaking up with her. That was more the issue. Like, I knew she and she didn't. It took 10 tries.

[Chris Estrada]

Well, sometimes I would make a situ. I was being those relationships where I didn't want to be the bad guy. So I would make. Make things not work. So they would break up with me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, there you go.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. And then be like, God, I'm not.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I'm not a breakup person. I got dumped.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I listen to Radiohead.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

That's for me.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

All right, well, that's. That's comedy. I love the keys thing. Have you ever almost died?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, I feel like I have. Well, when I was 17, I think. 17 or 18, me and my friends got shot at.

[Pete Holmes]

No.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Got shot at in my neighborhood, where my mom. Right. Where I was living at the time in Englewood. And there was. We were coming back from the beach, and this guy was, like, trailing us. Like, once we were back in my neighborhood and everybody. We dropped my friend off, and this guy just came out of his car and started shooting at us. And I think he was like, hi or something. Like, he must have mistaken us for someone, you know, like it was happening randomly, but I felt like, with an intent that I go, I. He thinks we're someone else.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Estrada]

You know? Right. And then. How old were you? 17. 17 or 18. I was 17 or 18.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you don't want to run from gunfire and flip flops.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Come back sand.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. And then we just like, hopped back in the car and then took off. But he shot out one of my friends back windows. And then. So that was one of the few times I came close to that.

[Pete Holmes]

And then, you know, in movies, the back window always just shatters, and it's like, oh, glad that's done. But that means the bullets in the car.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

It didn't just hit the window. Like, I just got myself being like, well, thank God I hit that window. No, it went in the car. Like, could have got you guys. That's terrifying.

[Chris Estrada]

And then that happened. I think, you know, a lot of the things that I've felt like I didn't think about it, but now, in hindsight, I can go. I almost died. Like, one time, I was at the. I was at a gas station. I went to go pump gas for my mom, and I got held up at the gas station. I was able to talk myself out of it.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you mean? Like, person?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Well, the guy, he. He held me up, and then he had a gun pointed at me. And then he said, give me your money. And then I gave him what I had in my. My. In my wallet, which was $8, but in my pockets I had 50 bucks. And then the old pocket yeah. And then my sock.

[Pete Holmes]

I had $7,500.

[Chris Estrada]

He asked me for his. For my wallet. And I said, how you going to take my wallet? And I had a picture of the Vinda Guadalupe, the Virgin. The Mexican Virgin Mary. And I showed it to him. I said, I going to take this. I know, like, and then, like, what did he say? And then he. I. He looked at me and he. He just went. He smacked my hand. And he said, man, fuck you. And then he got in his car. And then. But what I thought was, I go, you know, I know that was a loaded pistol. Like, he could have. In hindsight, I go, he totally. He could have given the Virgin Mary. Yeah. I should have just given it to him. You know what it was, though? That wallet, the stuff that was in that wallet my grandma had given to me, and she had recently passed.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

I was just kind of like, I don't want to do part with this.

[Pete Holmes]

You're making me realize I've always thought I have, like a clip wallet, that if somebody robbed me, I would try to remove the money.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like in like a David Copperfield. Because I just don't want to replace all this.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What are you gonna do with my id?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah, what, Man, I think it's quicker, you know, give me your wallet. That's where your debit and credit card.

[Pete Holmes]

Is or whatever, right?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, yeah. So I feel that. That's.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't believe you had the wherewithal to be like, come on, man, it's my wallet.

[Chris Estrada]

I think I was so, like, in the. My grandma had just passed, so the minute there was literally like a Virgin Mary little card photo she put in there. And she gave it to you? She gave it to me. So I was just like, I'm not gonna give you my wallet. You got my money.

[Pete Holmes]

That's a bold thing to say after handing a thief.

[Chris Estrada]

I mean, I should have just given him the 50 bucks in my pocket, you know, But I wasn't even thinking that. Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, the adrenaline, your heart had to be racing. I mean, we can talk about it casually, but nobody with a gun pointed to them is relaxing.

[Chris Estrada]

And then one time when I was 10, 10 or 11, me and my friend, this kid, Hector Soto, we used to go to this comic book store.

[Pete Holmes]

I know Hector.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, you know Hector Soto. It was. It was a comic book store on the border between Englewood and South Central. It was called the cbc, the Comic Book Club Club. This older, like, really sweet, older black nerd named Earl used to run that comic book. And we Were in there when it got robbed at gunpoint. And. And the guy took money. And what was funny is he took a few comic books too, that were like, on the wall. I don't think he.

[Pete Holmes]

Like expensive ones.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. He just correlated with those are expensive, valuable and valuable. And then I, you know, he pointed the gun at us and everything. In hindsight, you know, I, I know now that, like, in everything goes by so quickly, but I know in those situations, he's scared. Not scared. He's scared. Yeah. And I'm not saying that, that, that he, He. I'm not justifying his actions because he's a shitty person for doing that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, of course.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But you're keeping in mind that he's still a person.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, he does.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a great Bruce Eric Kaplan cartoon. He dressed for the New Yorker, and it's a guy robbing a couple. And the, you know, the bank. The robber. He's not a bank robber. The thief has a thought bubble. And it says, God, these things are always so awkward.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm like, what I like about that cartoon is he's not suddenly a thief. He's some guy.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Some guy named Steve who likes this type of ice cream and took. How many poops did he poop that day? And when did he go to sleep? And like, what's his favorite movie? And then he goes. And it's not like, like central casting. Thief. He's a guy.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And his heart is jacked. And he's scared and he's worried he could get hurt. All that sort of stuff.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, he could get hurt. And then. So as I got older, I understood, like, oh, man, he could have people die that way by accident, you know, by being scared some.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, think about what your cousin said.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. So those are the three that come to mind, those situations.

[Pete Holmes]

I love that you're just like those three times that I was at gunpoint come to mind. I'm like, wow, my question doesn't seem so cute. Have you ever almost. Almost bit it? You're like. Well, three or four times I was shot at. Okay. Have you ever seen not just a ghost or a ufo, but anything that you can't explain?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, I feel like I have. Especially like, with my family being like, Mexican. Mexican people are superstitious. And then my grandma used to do these. They're called limpiasas in. In Spanish. But they're like, literally when somebody has like. Like they're not feeling well, they have bad energy. They call it. Or the evil eye. Or whatever. Like, sometimes my grandma would give us spiritual cleansings with eggs.

[Pete Holmes]

Like egg yolks or eggs. Eggs.

[Chris Estrada]

Okay. And then crack the egg yolk to.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, get rid of it.

[Chris Estrada]

To get rid of it. And maybe it's a placebo in that you would feel better afterwards.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

And stuff like that. That I.

[Pete Holmes]

Intent is like, there's strong evidence for intent. And like. And your thoughts.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, stuff like that. And then I remember when my grandma died, she. She. She lived here, but she died in Mexico. You know what's really crazy? I was really close to my grandma, and she. When she was going to a trip to Mexico, where she's from, and like a week before she left, she. We were talking and she said, I'm gonna go die there. And I said, don't talk like that. But I just thought, you're just being old and crazy, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

And she goes, no, no, I'm gonna go die there. It's. It's fine. She goes, your earth calls. Your land calls you back. You know when your land is calling you back.

[Pete Holmes]

Back.

[Chris Estrada]

And sure enough, she went and she died there. And remember, she said, make sure they bury me there. Like, don't bring me back here. And then they buried her there. But I just remember her being so sure of her like that she's going to die there.

[Pete Holmes]

Your land calls you back.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. And she always said, your land calls you back. So there was. There was something so, like, mystic about that to me.

[Pete Holmes]

And we buried her here in South Central.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah. She's buried at the English cemetery. We respected none of our rules.

[Pete Holmes]

Zero.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Your land calls you back.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But these plot prices are low.

[Chris Estrada]

I was like, I'm not gonna fly. Fly it once a year to give you. No, no. I'm gonna drive to the English cemetery and leave you.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's keep this simple, please.

[Chris Estrada]

It's more expensive to take you back to the US but it'll pay in the long haul because I don't want to pay for flights to Mexico.

[Pete Holmes]

Once a year, your grandson flies you back.

[Chris Estrada]

So we. So stuff like that.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel beautiful, though.

[Chris Estrada]

And then I feel like. I don't know, I feel like I believe in ghosts in the sense that, like, in terms of an energy and like, where you go, this place feels eerie or things of that nature.

[Pete Holmes]

Any connection to your grandmother since she passed? Any sort of feeling? This is usually where the lights flicker.

[Chris Estrada]

No. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It goes stand up comedy. It's the dog. It's a dog trying to reach you. It's trying to give me the Shelter. You put your finger in my poop. Whoa. There he is.

[Chris Estrada]

It took you that long to start Stand up.

[Pete Holmes]

He doesn't believe it. Yeah, seven months.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, I would say I've had few dreams about her.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I don't want to force it.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, no, no, no. But like do a little bit. Yeah, yeah. I've had dreams about her. I think soon after I had dreams about her.

[Pete Holmes]

But isn't it weird that dreams are just visions that were just like. Yeah, but they don't count because everybody has.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Eight hours of dream visions every night. It's like. It's still an incredible phenomenon.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Your brain is like conjuring up these images.

[Chris Estrada]

It is really crazy. The weirdest one I ever had, which was not a dream, but this. When my grandma died their. She used to tell me about the. You could hear like. So there's the part of Mexico where they were from. There were a lot of battles with, you know, native Mexicans and the Spanish and you know, or and stuff like that. And there used to be this thing or at some point, I guess a lot of Apaches immigrated to this place where they're from called Zacatecas. So she said that years ago she told me that you would hear. You could hear their war cries.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh wow.

[Chris Estrada]

You could hear their war cry sometimes when I, when she died there we. I went down there and then I was. We were staying at a uncle like her brother's place, waiting the funeral and everything. And one night I heard something and I woke up my mom and I was like 20 at the time. And she said, I said, what is. Do you hear that? She goes, go to sleep. Those are the Apache war cries. Because they say Apaches had immigrated there there. And so that always stayed with me. The fact that I. I don't even remember cuz I remember asking my mom, hey, do you remember that last night? And she didn't. So either it was the dream or it was reality. My mom just went. Had this, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

So it would have been ghosts, right?

[Chris Estrada]

I mean. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not like there's reenactments.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, no it's not. Yeah, not reenactment.

[Pete Holmes]

I went straight to like. Oh, like Civil War reenactments. And they were doing it in the middle of the night, which is pretty normal. I love that. She's like, oh, don't worry, it's just ghost. Go back to bed.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, that was her. Yeah, it was.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know why, but that is the most like Mexican. Like the way you're saying Mexican superstition. Like, relax, it's just ghost.

[Chris Estrada]

It's a ghost. Yeah, it's just a ghost. Which it would have been very on point for my mom too. Like, cuz my mom always. One time I heard her like cussing and like I got home and she said, said I'm like, what? She goes, I felt there was bad spirits around, so my mom too, in.

[Pete Holmes]

Order to like, she scared him off.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. She said, you gotta scream. My mom's reaction to ghosts is anytime you feel there's ghosts in your house, just yell at them and go, you stupid, we don't want you here. Get out of here.

[Pete Holmes]

A Mexorcism.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. It was really funny the way just to hear her say, like, that's how you deal with ghosts, you know? Know it's not any romantic ritual where you call her a priest or. No, you.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no holy water. Just tap water and swearing.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. And just yell at them and tell them that you don't want them in your house. Yeah, it works. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, that's fantastic. Okay, last. Oh, we didn't talk about the meaning of life. Is there any sort of. Oh, I forgot the meaning of life.

[Chris Estrada]

Meaning.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you have any framework, any. Any religious or spiritual. Ben, you mentioned ghost, energy, spirit?

[Chris Estrada]

You know, I grew up Catholic and even though I don't believe in that stuff anymore, I think Catholicism is so much symbolism. Like it's a lot of symbols and saints and all that stuff. So it gives me a comfort, even though I don't believe in that stuff, it gives me a comfort to see it. I have a rosary hanging from my rear view mirror.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. I have a Virgin Mary air freshener.

[Pete Holmes]

So like, fantastic.

[Chris Estrada]

So those kind of things, I. I don't even know. I don't believe in Catholicism or most. I don't guess I don't believe in God in that traditional, like, religious way anymore.

[Pete Holmes]

But the images have meaning.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. I also just think they remind me of people. Like it reminds me of my grandma. So it's nice to keep those things around.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, but. But I just. Yeah, the imagery. And I guess that's what imagery is supposed to do or those symbols are supposed to do. They're supposed to evoke a feeling or.

[Pete Holmes]

Something and even like behind your thinking mind. I guess we could just say unconsciously, the Virgin Mary is a reminder that life can come from a void. Meaning there's no conception, but here's life. And that is also what the Big Bang theory is, that there was a void and then life came out and it's also what Santa Claus is. It's like gifts come from an unseen force. So we love symbols that say, like, don't forget. There's something that doesn't make sense but is going on behind the scenes. And we don't even have to. I just intellectualized it. But we don't even have to intellectualize it. You might just love Christmas. You might just love something that reminds you of your grandmother. But, you know, your grandmother was a miracle.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And so are you. And anything that reminds you of that stuff and taps you in.

[Chris Estrada]

I think now I just look at things, like, more of, like. I think life is mysterious and. And also, like a behind. I guess it's a substitute for God. But the idea of a life force. Sure. You know, like, I just go, ah.

[Pete Holmes]

It'S the great life.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. The great life. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I said. I found myself. Leela's of. My daughter is of the age where she'll. Why? Why? Why? And we were talking about death. She calls death bones, which I think is so funny. She goes, oh. Then it becomes bones. Or we saw.

[Chris Estrada]

That's so poetic. Children are poetic.

[Pete Holmes]

It becomes bones. She also sometimes says, are we here yet? And I'm like, are we?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. I think that's really great.

[Pete Holmes]

And also a bird. Unfortunately, birds fly into our windows from time to time. We put bird seed on it, and we. We taunt them from the other side of the glass just to kill them. I'm just kidding. But they're always dying. So she sees birds dying, and she's like, where's where? What happens to the bird? She didn't say it in those terms. And I just caught myself saying, like, it goes back into the great life. And I was like, yeah. I had to reduce it to something that maybe Lila would understand without making her too irreverent of her own survival. But I was like, you go back into the great. So when you. West coast hippies, LA people, CA people get a bad rap for talking about a life energy. And I. I can understand that.

[Chris Estrada]

Or. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Sandals and that sort of thing. Or the force. But it's like, I always like to share this point that the God of the Bible, which is the one that most people or a lot of people in this country.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Adhere to, believe.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I was gonna say with. But, yeah. Remember, God says to Moses, I am that I am. So he's talking about, I am amnes, I am being. Meaning, I am the source of being. I'm a life force.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So it's the Same.

[Chris Estrada]

Same thing.

[Pete Holmes]

Life Force just sounds more like the Internet, like, electric.

[Chris Estrada]

I. One time I saw this documentary on Joe Strummer, the singer of the Clash, and he had this great quote that always stays with me. He was at a concert and he took a moment to say, say this to the crowd. And he says, don't forget that we're all alive at the same time. We're all alive right now at the same moment. And isn't that amazing? Yeah. And I just go, yeah, that is like. It gives me a sense of, like, wow, what a. It's uncom. It's. I can comprehend it and not at the same time.

[Pete Holmes]

Absolutely.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I remember Emily. Maya Mills did some strong psychedelic at a party, and I said, what did you do? She. She didn't realize. I think she didn't realize what it was. Was. And she just kept looking at people and going, we're here, we're here. And it's like, that's what Jo is saying. And honestly, that, to me is the big difference between a good day and a bad day is, did we remember to remember? Did we remember that we're here and this conversation that we're alive at the same time?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There'll be a time when we won't be alive.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly it.

[Pete Holmes]

I was sitting on the porch waiting for you, and I was just breathing, and I was like, isn't it weird, you know, like, meaning mindfully breathing? I was like, isn't it weird that, like, someday another breath would be, like, the thing I want the most?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, not today, though. Today it's just 1 million one, like, of the day.

[Chris Estrada]

It's really something else to, I guess, be alive and experience and being conscious. And being conscious and experience. Yeah. Of it. Of the complexities of human emotions that you're going to feel.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Chris Estrada]

Like, you know, whether it's like, happiness or sadness, loss or wins and, like. And. And it's not. A lot of them aren't that binary.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, you know, that's right.

[Chris Estrada]

Like, a lot of them aren't that happy.

[Pete Holmes]

Sad is a thing.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, Happy. Sad is a thing. Yeah. You know, or like, happy loneliness, you.

[Pete Holmes]

Know, not to project onto you. But this fool got season two. That's, like, happy. And also, like, we gotta.

[Chris Estrada]

You know, it's dreadful.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

In a way. Yeah. You know, like, making another season of TV that you've done before is like, wow. I feel very lucky, too. And, oh, my God, I'm fucking terrified. It's a lot of work.

[Pete Holmes]

I didn't intend on doing this, but for me, the second season of Crashing was really difficult because the first one has all this energy of like, I can't believe we're making the show.

[Chris Estrada]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And the second season, for me, if you're not conscious, meaning every morning going like, we're alive at the same time, this show is just an excuse to hang out with your friends, with the writers, the actors, with the crew. It's a special opportunity and to be grateful. All of those things. If you don't do those things mindfully. To me, the feeling was like, we just did this.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, it's another season and more. So now it can start to feel like a grind. You lose your footing. So I'm not saying that's you for any reason other than you're in the unique position.

[Chris Estrada]

I have to stop myself from being that way because I. Because I.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, we're wired the same way.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. I often go, this is now a burden. It's a blessed burden. But it's a burden. And it. It makes me feel bad because in hindsight, I go, why didn't I take more pictures? Like, yeah, you know, or like, why didn't I do that? But I guess I. I always look at things like incremental wins or I. Incremental goals.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Estrada]

I don't look at, like, wow, the fact that I'm making this TV shows where I want to be. Be. Because I didn't. I didn't start to send up comedy for those reasons. I just go, wow, this is a new goal to take on. And then whenever that is done with, move on to whatever the next goal is, you know? Yeah, that's right. Yeah. But it is amazing, you know, And I. But I think I get so. You know, you get so perfectionist about things and you want to make.

[Pete Holmes]

Maybe we should be talking about it because, I mean, a lot of people are going to project onto you a lot of happiness and feel fulfillment that you may not be feeling.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Because.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you're like, so with Larry David quitting Seinfeld.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I just don't want. I can't think of any more stories. Drive me crazy.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So you have to, like, give yourself, or everybody needs to give themselves permission to feel how they're feeling.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I would say what fixed it for me in the third season was having a. I don't mean, like, necessarily it was a spiritual practice, but like, just a routine of going, like. Like just today. Just these scenes.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The mantra. It's just an excuse to hang out.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is like, was really powerful for me.

[Chris Estrada]

That's great.

[Pete Holmes]

Instead of thinking about the edit and thinking about how it's going to be received, how it's going to be reviewed. Is this story stupid? It's just like, man, this is an excuse to hang out.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. And have fun and create. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And. And not just how lucky are we? But like how lucky are we all?

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, you see somebody you know at a coffee shop up that's also as lucky. Luck is luck is luck. Good is good is good. So like I guess I am just trying to encourage you to be like, feel how you feel and don't, don't believe it. When people are like, wow, you're doing the second season, man. Projecting on t you how they think they would feel when in reality they probably feel like how you feel, which is more than one emotion at the same time.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. Yeah. And that's. Yeah. I find things are always that, you know, they're not a binary or they're not just one thing. It's like they're both exciting, boring, sad, angry, all at the same time. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Fucking A. Yeah. Love that. Well, thank you, Chris.

[Chris Estrada]

Thanks for having me.

[Pete Holmes]

Pete, there is one more question.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I asked you 50,000. Just one more. Can you think of a time in your life you laughed really, really hard and that's where we'll get out. And I always like to. To give these caveats. It doesn't have to be a great story.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just like maybe you're your kid, maybe it was recently with friend. Maybe you were on drugs. It doesn't matter. Somebody fell down, somebody farted, pooped their pants.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just if you were laughing to the point of tears, who were you with? How old are you? What happened?

[Chris Estrada]

Geez. I'm trying to think things that really make me laugh like that. You know, sometimes I, I my pants in front of my girlfriend. Like, like, like about God, maybe a year ago, like in front of her. Yeah. Well, we went out for a hike and then I'm lactose intolerant. Like ibs. Yes. And we went over in Topanga Canyon and I had to go to the bathroom. There was nowhere to go, so I didn't shit my pants. But I had to shut on the trail and I felt such.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a bear.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. I feel, I felt so embarrassed. Cuz I'm very self conscious about bathroom stuff. Like we play. I play music when I go to the bathroom. I don't. You're very self conscious about.

[Pete Holmes]

Dude, I'll put my earbuds in. So I Don't hear myself.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not just for the other people. I'm like, I don't want to hear me.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah. So I do all that. And then I. And it wasn't until a day later I was just like. Like I just. I wasn't even with my girlfriend. I was by myself. And then I started laughing about me in the point that I started crying.

[Pete Holmes]

After the fact.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah, after the fact. Where I just went. Cuz I felt such dread. I went home, I took a shower, I went to sleep. I didn't want to see the outfit. Yeah, you went to sleep. I went to sleep.

[Pete Holmes]

You had to shut it down.

[Chris Estrada]

Like a laptop shut it down. Like shut it down.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't feel this.

[Chris Estrada]

So I think, I think laughing at the ridiculousness of having to do that. And I think my girlfriend trying to be comforting to me and the last thing you want is anyone to talk to you after you have to do that, you know? And I think she kept saying, like, don't worry, this is better. We've been together for six years. It's better that this happened now than the first year of dating.

[Pete Holmes]

Six years is the poop anniversary. There's paper, wood, copper. Poop.

[Chris Estrada]

Poop. Yeah. I think like a dick. It was. It was two days after that I started just. I was thinking about it and it just made me laugh so much.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course. Did you try for a nature wipe or did you just go natural?

[Chris Estrada]

Dude, I didn't even think of that because I've never been in that situation. And I literally had one napkin left and I used the napkin. And it wasn't until afterwards where I told my friend, he goes, why didn't you use one of your socks?

[Pete Holmes]

One of your socks? That's a man who's pooped on a trail before.

[Chris Estrada]

And then I just. Why didn't I use one of my socks? Cause yes, there's no way I was clean.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't buy a brown sock. That's all we always said. I love that. Thank you for sharing that story. I also. Is there a better meaning to coping with life? Shitting on a trail. You don't want your girlfriend even comforting you? Get out of here. You go home and shut it down. And then a few days later, or whatever it was, you've had time to process it. And those things become the biggest laughs.

[Chris Estrada]

Well, what made me laugh about it is just kept thinking I was like. It made me laugh because I go, she has sex with me. And then I just go. And I'm. I'm like, shitting myself, you know, like, it just made me laugh where I just go. I go, that's so disgusting. Like, I just go, so funny. It just made me laugh because I go, I would never be with someone like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Not if that was your first date. Yeah, but six years. She's right. Six years. I. Val, wouldn't mind me saying. We were coming back from the Vegas airport and she was at morning sickness. And so she puked on outside of the Vegas airport. And while she was vomiting, we both, like, had a mind meld. And we're like, everyone at this airport thinks she's hungover because it's a Vegas airport.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm like, you want to scream like she's pregnant.

[Chris Estrada]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They're like, well, she shouldn't be drinking like that. Chris, I just had a feeling I would like you.

[Chris Estrada]

Thanks, man.

[Pete Holmes]

I really enjoyed you.

[Chris Estrada]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

You're super funny. You're one of a kind that's obviously that by definition, hard to buy.

[Chris Estrada]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

And the show is fantastic.

[Chris Estrada]

That really means the world.

[Pete Holmes]

I haven't seen the whole season, but we're going to keep watching it.

[Chris Estrada]

Thanks, man.

[Pete Holmes]

Thank you. Would you say keep it crispy? It's how we end.

[Chris Estrada]

Keep it crispy.

[Pete Holmes]

There it is. Thanks, pal.

[Chris Estrada]

Thanks.