Chris Parnell

Summary

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You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes

Guest: Chris Parnell
Date: May 25, 2022

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Episode Overview

This episode features the hilarious and versatile actor and comedian Chris Parnell, best known for his work on Saturday Night Live, "Lazy Sunday," and numerous voice roles (e.g., "Archer" and "Rick and Morty"). Pete and Chris dive deep into SNL war stories, the realities of show business, formative acting influences, the creative process, and spiritual beliefs. The conversation is lighthearted, reflective, and occasionally philosophical, peppered with comedic riffs, memories about shared projects, and lots of warmth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. SNL Memories & “More Cowbell” (11:46–20:00)

• Not Laughing in “More Cowbell”: Pete is fascinated that Chris is famous for not breaking character during the iconic sketch.
  • Parnell: “Yeah, it is. And it's, it's enormous. It's a big trophy.” (12:01)
  • He admits he did "break a little," but only when the camera wasn’t on him.
  • Parnell: “Honestly, I did break a little bit, but knew the camera wasn't on me. I just kind of looked down at my guitar and had a quick moment. It was when Will was, you know, right up next to me in my face...” (13:47)
• Techniques for Not Breaking: Chris credits staying “in the moment” as the character.
  • Parnell: “I would just try to be in the moment, you know, as that guy. Pretentious.” (14:51)
• Classic Sketch Dynamics: Pete muses on SNL tradition of cast members secretly trying to make each other break during sketches.
• Dress Rehearsal Insights: Chris shares that he sometimes snuck copies of dress rehearsals—implying a quiet nostalgia for the “lost” SNL process. (12:35)

2. Unexpected SNL Hits (“Lazy Sunday,” Viral Moments) (20:00–23:50)

• “Lazy Sunday” and Viral Fame: Chris explains no one expected the sketch’s explosive popularity.
  • Parnell: “We were joking, you know, that, oh, this is going to be amazing, but not really thinking it was going to kind of be what it was.”
• Behind the Scenes Cupcake Incident: The bakery featured in "Lazy Sunday" actually tried to stop them from filming. (21:47)
• Viralization and SNL: Pete draws comparisons to modern intentionally “designed for virality” sketches, like Tom Hanks’ “Mr. Pumpkins.”

3. Showbiz, Rejection & Coping with Competition (32:39–36:01; 63:01–66:44)

• The SNL Hierarchy: Chris describes the subtle competitiveness of the show, including cast members appealing to Lorne Michaels to get sketches on air.
  • Parnell: “It would manifest itself by a cast member going into Lorne's office and sort of expressing their frustration that their sketch hadn't made it in or didn't, you know, get a good spot or whatever.”
• Coping with Rejection: Chris is candid about learning to handle rejection, both at SNL with sketches being cut and later in his career.
  • Parnell: “I'm much better at it now... I get work almost always because people offer me work, you know.”
• Teaching After Rejection: Chris describes leaving the Alley Theatre disappointed and teaching high school drama for a year, admitting he was "mostly" wanting to get out.

4. Early Life, Motivation & Mentors (43:37–54:58)

• Origins in Performing: Chris reflects on his early, mild “hammy” tendencies and a vivid desire to “be around beautiful women” (inspired by Charlie’s Angels) as a motivation for acting.
  • Parnell: “I had a Charlie's angel scrapbook, which I still have...I wanted to be around beautiful women like Farrah and Jacqueline and Kate.”
• Formative Mentors: High school drama teacher Frank Bluestein ("Mr. B") was a tough but inspirational force, pushing his students to strive for excellence.
  • Parnell: “...He was and is a brilliant man, you know, and he was the one who, you know … encouraged me. He said, you know, if you wanted to do this for real, you could actually do it. He compared me very generously to Al Pacino.” (56:14)
• Family Influence: Chris’s father was a DJ and recording studio owner; both parents were supportive despite warnings about the challenge of showbiz.

5. SNL Types & Legacy (40:20–42:15)

• Typecasting on SNL: Pete notes how SNL fills specific “comedy types” each era; Beck Bennett as "the Parnell," for instance.
  • Parnell: “I did a little bit. I did a little bit. And I think I feel like there was some comparison… Beck's amazing.” (41:09)
• Versatility in Characters: Chris lists his range of SNL characters, from the rapping “Weekend Update” guest to oddballs like Terry Funk, sharing pride in his own variety.
  • Parnell: “One of the great things about SNL is just being able to do so many different kinds of characters and things.”

6. Spiritual Beliefs, Doubt, and Atheism (80:19–92:22; 92:40–99:23)

• Religious Upbringing: Raised Southern Baptist, Chris was a believer as a child, with all the attendant guilt and self-judgment.
  • Parnell: “I still feel... the God sort of thing looking over me and I'd sort of become in my own head, I think.”
• His Journey to Atheism: Chris speaks openly about questioning hell, the exclusivity of salvation, and the proselytizing "dissonance" that led him to question and eventually leave belief behind.
  • Parnell: “It took a long, long time to get there, but once I sort of came to the realization for myself that Jesus was not the son of God, but just a great teacher... But he didn't rise from the dead. He wasn't born of a virgin...” (81:14)
• Philosophical Dialogue: Pete and Chris have an open-minded, warm exchange about the Big Bang, consciousness, the nature of existence, and the allure (or not) of the afterlife.
  • Pete: “When we say an afterlife is preposterous, I agree, but so is life. Like, it's crazy that this exists. So this is evidence that things that don't make any sense and that are miraculous, that we can't really understand meaning consciousness happen.”
• Notable Reference: Chris recommends Isaac Asimov's short story "The Last Question" to illustrate a cosmic, perhaps cyclical, view of the universe. (93:17–94:39)

7. Life, Death, and the Afterlife (96:22–98:23)

• Does Chris believe in ghosts or the afterlife?
  • Parnell: “No ghosts for me.”
  • Admits he hopes he's wrong about death being the end, but has no reason to believe otherwise.
• Philosophy of Being: Chris finds beauty and meaning in the material universe, even without spiritual overlays.
  • Parnell: “I don't really see any spiritual aspect to it. I just think it's there and it's what it is. And it's beautiful and it's amazing and it's extraordinary.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Chris on SNL Competition:
  “I think it would manifest itself by a cast member going into Lorne's office and sort of expressing their frustration that their sketch hadn't made it in...not gaming the system, but being like, I think I can go to this guy and like, whisper in his ear a little bit?” (33:58)
• On Childhood Motivation:
  “I had a Charlie's angel scrapbook, which I still have, and I had the thought of, like, I wanted to be around beautiful women like Farrah and Jacqueline and Kate...that was a part of my childhood motivation.” (50:09)
• On Finding His Type:
  “There are certain flavors [on SNL] that are needed ... when you lose Parnell, you hire New Parnell.” (41:09)
• Chris on Spirituality:
  “It took a long, long time to get there, but once I sort of came to the realization for myself that Jesus was not the son of God, but just a great teacher who had this amazing message of love and forgiveness ... but he didn't rise from the dead.” (81:14)
• On The Afterlife:
  “Yeah, I mean, I hope I'm wrong...But I just don't have any reason to believe there is.” (96:26)

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Lightning Round – Fun & Weirdness

• Favorite Hard Laugh:
  Chris points to Spinal Tap's Stonehenge scene as inducing uncontrollable laughter.
  • Parnell: “It was watching Spinal Tap. And when the Stonehenge set comes down and, oh, how they dance, the people of Stonehenge...” (103:14)
• Ghost Encounters?
  Chris is adamant: “No ghosts for me.” Pete shares detail about a “ghost cat.” (76:12)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• More Cowbell & Breaking Character: 11:36–15:12
• Lazy Sunday & Viral SNL: 20:00–23:50
• SNL Cast Competition: 32:39–36:01
• Early Drama and Mentors: 50:09–56:14
• Coping with Rejection in Showbiz: 63:01–66:44
• Big Spiritual Questions: 80:19–92:22
• Cosmic Philosophy & Afterlife: 92:40–99:23
• Chris’ Hardest Laugh: 103:14–104:12

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Final Words & “Keep it Chris P” (105:18)

• After 10 years of anticipation, Pete and Chris close the episode with Chris giving the show’s signature send-off his own spin:
  • Chris Parnell: "Keep it Chris P." (105:22)

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Tone & Flow

• The tone is playful, thoughtful, and warm—Pete and Chris riff effortlessly, echoing the best “comedians hanging out” energy with philosophical depth and candid insight about the comedy world and personal beliefs.
• Both maintain their gentle, self-aware humor throughout: “I'm going to try and talk more like you, so this whole... If I talk a little bit more like this, this podcast will just be number one, but on the health and fitness charts.” (26:01)

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For anyone who hasn’t listened: This episode is rich with SNL backstage lore, reflections on creative resilience, and open-hearted musings on meaning, death, and legacy, all delivered by one of comedy’s quietly strongest players and a loving fan in Pete Holmes.

Transcript

[Pete Holmes]

You made it with.

[Chris Parnell]

You made it with.

[Pete Holmes]

You made it with. Oh, yeah, you made it with. Yes, you did. You made it weird with Pete Holmes. What's happening, weirdos? This is the incredible Chris Parnell, who I got to work with when we were making Home Sweet Home Alone for.

[Val]

The old Disney plus and we had.

[Pete Holmes]

Such a fun time.

[Val]

I've been bothering him ever since to do the podcast and I'm so happy that he finally came by.

[Pete Holmes]

This is actually also the last audio.

[Val]

Only podcast that we're going to do. There may be some We Made It.

[Pete Holmes]

Weirds on Friday that will be audio.

[Val]

Only until we fully make the transition. But if you are not subscribed to my YouTube, which is just Pete Holmes, I'm pretty sure please do so because we are going to start releasing these as video as well as audio, which I'm really excited for you guys to see just how dirty the couch is.

[Pete Holmes]

That we record on.

[Val]

It is not.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not very clean.

[Val]

Val wants me to maybe steam it or something, but we haven't yet.

[Pete Holmes]

And we've been having some really great guests.

[Val]

Great guests are coming up and they will be right here as you enjoy it. But if you're, if you're curious, you.

[Pete Holmes]

Can also watch Curious.

[Val]

If you're interested, you can also see.

[Pete Holmes]

It on YouTube, which I'm excited. It's been so fun. We've been doing them and it's so fun.

[Val]

But for now, Chris Parnell, what a delight. What a gentleman.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's get to it. He's so great.

[Val]

Just a few things to plug up Top my next stand update. My only stand update right now is at Largo here in Los Angeles. It's going to be on June 11th. The last one was so incredible.

[Pete Holmes]

The crowd was so great.

[Val]

And this next one is going to be no exception, as I always say.

[Pete Holmes]

But I always mean it.

[Val]

It is always the highlight of the, of both Val and I's month. And it means so much when weirdos are there. It's always a better show when weirdos are there. So hopefully you can be there. Go to largo-la.com for tickets and we have a couple wonderful sponsors and these.

[Pete Holmes]

Are two products that I absolutely, absolutely.

[Val]

Swear by that have.

[Pete Holmes]

For real, for real.

[Val]

I'm saying everything twice have changed my life, the first of which is Magic Mind. I've mentioned, I think I mentioned it to Chris on this episode. I said, do you want a Magic Mind? Because I always drink a magic mind about 15 minutes before I do this podcast and before I do almost Anything that requires that flow state, that high productivity, super dialed in flow state that is not jacked up on caffeine. It only has about 35mg micrograms, whatever mg of caffeine. So it's not a high caffeine drink. It's not an energy drink. It is a productivity drink. In fact, it is the world's first productivity drink. It's a tiny little shot. Keep it in the fridge. Magical elixir that makes you focus better on your work, be more creative and drink less coffee. I didn't realize I was drinking too much coffee until I noticed that my hands were clenching and my jaw was tight. Now I have the beautiful benefits of Matcha. Magic mind has nootropics that help you focus and adaptogens that help you fight off stress. That is just some of the 12 functional ingredients. So you take it in the morning with your caffeine and it's those adaptogens that help you balance out and round out the edges of the caffeine you're already enjoying. But also the matcha and the nootropics help you get into that sharp mind, steady energy, not to mention immune support and less stress. I am all about adaptogens and I get them in my magic mind. You get 30% more stuff done on average. 5 to 7 hours of flow state of 30% more productivity after drinking. It's like you know, athletes have Gatorade now creators have ready for it. Creator aid. Don't expect wired. It's not like a jittery wired tight feeling. Expect dialed in. It is the creator's best friend. Helps fight off procrastination, brain fog, fatigue, even some ADD symptoms. And after three to seven days of continuous use, it's even easier. I can attest to that. It builds and gets better and better. Easier to get into that flow state and with their money back. Guarantee any first purchase will be refunded. No questions asked. If it doesn't meet your the do you guys if it doesn't meet your expectations, I absolutely swear by it. And I have a and so does Val. I have a special offer for our listeners from our friends at Magic Mind. All you have to do is go to www.magic mind co weird and use our discount code at checkout weird to get a limited 20% off your first order. That's MagicMind Co weird and use discount code weird at checkout for 20% off and get yourself some creator aid. Get yourself the world's first productivity drink. I absolutely love it. I absolutely swear by it also speaking of swear by it, I'm wearing it right now is my Apollo Neuro. You guys have heard both Val and I talk about our Apollo Neuros. It is the thing we've gifted more than any other thing. I can say that with confidence. We've given it to our creative friends, parents. We've even given it to a few children that were having some stress issues. Because an Apollo Neuro is like a wearable hug. It's a wearable piece of technology.

[Pete Holmes]

I wear it on my wrist. It looks like a watch, but I.

[Val]

Wear it on the inside. Then that sends vibrations into your nervous system that are interpreted by your nervous system as touch. It is touch therapy to help you feel safe and in control. And it mimics the movement of deep relaxing breath and just tells your body, hey, it's okay. But it's not just for relaxing. These gentle, soothing vibrations actually train your nervous system to recover and rebalance after stress. But. But it can also wake you up. There's a setting called Energy and Wake Up. You control this through your phone. There's Social and Open, which is usually the setting I use for standup in this podcast, Clear and Focused, which really helps you get into that state where you can really dig into a book or a project or your work. I also use that sometimes when I'm doing standup as well. Rebuild and recover. Val and I always joke that's the setting we use after a stressful dinner with our parents or or whoever it may be, if you're just juggling a lot of balls and you're just feeling.

[Pete Holmes]

Stress, throw it on. Rebuild and recover.

[Val]

Meditation and mindfulness is a subtle setting as well, but it helps you go deeper. Deeper than I have in my meditation practice in years. I always say this, but if all this thing did was help me meditate the way that it helps me meditate, I would be shouting its name from the rooftops. But that's not the only thing it does. Wake up, be social, be open, be focused, rebuild and recover after a workout. Help you meditate, help you just be mindful even with your eyes open. I'll put it on meditation and mindfulness and it helps me ease in and just feel a little bit more Zen. Relax and unwind is what we put it on at night when we're reading or watching tv. It's a wonderful pre bed ritual that just helps your body sink in and ease into that sleep state. And when I'm sleeping, I literally have it running on sleep and renewal. My favorite thing about that not only does it help me fall asleep and stay asleep and sleep more deeply if I wake up and I often do because we have a four year old. Well, she's almost four, three and a half year old.

[Pete Holmes]

If I have to get up and help Lee in the middle of the.

[Val]

Night, I go back to bed. Sometimes my heart's a little jacked. I press the two buttons on the Apollo, it reruns the last program and boom, I am back asleep way more easily than I would be without it. The Apollo Neuro actually trains your nervous system to cope with stress better over time because meaning the more you use.

[Pete Holmes]

It, the better it works.

[Val]

It's not woo woo. This is not a mood ring or a crystal. This was developed by a neuroscientist and a board certified psychiatrist who have been studying the impacts of chronic stress in humans for nearly 15 years. And Apollo's effects on stress, sleep, cognitive performance and recovery have been proven in multiple clinical trials and real world studies. There's even more data coming out about the clear and focused settings specifically to help people like me who kind of have a mind that juts darts all over the place. How much it can help that it's literally changed our lives. And you can get 10% off and show your support of this podcast which means so much by going to Apollo neuro.com weird that's a P O L L O N e u r o.com weird for 10% off and show your support of this podcast. I know that URL quite well because I go there all the time to gift them to my friends. It's a wonderful gift to give that stress managing help that so many of us need to loved ones. So check it out and in the meantime enjoy the wonderful Chris Parnell. Hope to see you at Largo on June 11. In the meantime, get into it.

[Pete Holmes]

Magic mind. Have you ever had it?

[Chris Parnell]

I haven't. I heard you.

[Pete Holmes]

I heard you've heard me talk about it.

[Chris Parnell]

I did.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, if you have that with your coffee it sort of evens it out. I swear I'm not selling you like if you we're recording but if we weren't recording I would have given that to you. It has a little bit of caffeine but it adaptogens are things I think they're in mushrooms and stuff that just like take the cold sharpness of coffee and round it out so you still go up.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

There's also more pillows, more blank. Look at what I'm asking. It's like a sleepover. Get as comfy as you Can I will. Or just get. You can also put your feet on. Yeah, whatever. You need shoes off. What was I going to say? Oh, I have so many things I want to talk. I'm so happy to see you.

[Chris Parnell]

I'm happy to see you, man.

[Pete Holmes]

How do you feel today? How are you doing right now?

[Chris Parnell]

I'm pretty good. I'm a little under slept, but overall it happened pretty well. I just woke up to pee at 5:30 and.

[Pete Holmes]

You woke up to pee at 5:30?

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And didn't go back.

[Chris Parnell]

I didn't. I. I laid. I laid down and. And rested for a while, but.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry, I know everyone talks about your voice, but everyone's going to enjoy this podcast just to listen to your voice. Like, I'm gonna try my best not to talk too much because it's just. Just you being like, I got up to pee and it's like, yes, go on. I bet you could make an audiobook that isn't that good. Like, pretty great.

[Chris Parnell]

I would, except they don't pay anything.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that true?

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it takes so long. Yeah, it's brutal.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Somebody asked me to do their biography once and. And I had to turn it down just because it was going to be a ton of work for very little money.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I did my own book, which was not. It wasn't about money, obviously. It was like, I already got paid for the book and I was like, I'll do an audiobook. But it is. I think it was over three days or something. You don't want to read a book in three days, even if it's your book. And if you mess up, you have to go back, right? Of course you have to go back. Like over and over. And suddenly I'm just going like, fuck, shit, fuck. And going back. And I felt I'm also one of those people that feels bad for the tech. You know what I mean? Like, they're listening and I keep messing up and I'm like, I'm sorry. Like, I'm not Ray Bradbury's guy. Skip Bradbury.

[Chris Parnell]

Skip Bradbury. He read all of Ray's books.

[Pete Holmes]

We've come up with our first sketch pitch for you, which is your Skip Bradbury, his brother who reads them. But as he reads it, he won't stop critiquing that it's not that good that his brother's overrated. You could do better. Like this. This is our first. When is the. We're not going to talk about SNL at all if we don't want to. What? When is that meeting? Is that Monday?

[Chris Parnell]

Monday, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So that's our Monday.

[Chris Parnell]

That's our Monday pitch meeting in Lauren's office.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's start hot. Let's start with a hot one. How? Because I think people want to know. People want to know.

[Chris Parnell]

Chris. Yeah. Yeah. Please.

[Pete Holmes]

Why? How did you not tell me everything you remember about more cowbell, including not laughing?

[Chris Parnell]

And how did you not. How did you not laugh?

[Pete Holmes]

You're the only one. That's your. That's one of your trophies on your mantle.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, it is. And it's, it's enormous. It's a big trophy.

[Pete Holmes]

It's Christopher Walken's face.

[Chris Parnell]

Lauren had it made for me especially.

[Pete Holmes]

You push a button, I'm a trophy.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, I was just thinking, somebody was asking me about it the other day, about the dress rehearsal of that and what it was it like, and I, I couldn't remember. I, I, I, I, I might have it somewhere because I tried while I was there to get a lot of the dress rehearsals and things on, like, dvd. Yeah, I got somebody in the office to burn it for me. But anyway, I don't remember what the dress was.

[Pete Holmes]

You burned the DVD of the dress rehearsal?

[Chris Parnell]

Some of them, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Chris Parnell]

There was a guy who worked in the tape library, I guess you'd call it, and. Yeah, and I paid him some, you know, pocket change just to burn.

[Pete Holmes]

Guy's name is Radar or something. He wears thick glasses. Always a cigarette hanging right now.

[Chris Parnell]

That's right.

[Pete Holmes]

Hey, Radar.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, Parnell.

[Pete Holmes]

I need the address. You got it, boss. And he's burning it on lase. Not on laserdisc. Radar.

[Chris Parnell]

Dvd.

[Pete Holmes]

All right. VHS it is.

[Chris Parnell]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

So that's really, really cool that you got. And I didn't even, I've never even considered that a classic sketch like that would have been done earlier that day.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, every sketch is pretty much, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

For the dress. And was it murdering? Well, you don't remember.

[Chris Parnell]

I don't remember how the dress went funny. I'm sure, I'm sure it went well. I mean, you know, Will Ferrell wrote was called Recording Studio. That was the title. And Yeah, I just, you know, Christopher Walken was the perfect guy to do it.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, who else? There are other people that might have been okay at it.

[Chris Parnell]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

I went right to Josh Brolin. If it's like a square jawed, like, handsome cowboy, that's, that's also dead serious asking. But, but nobody could do it like Chris Walker.

[Chris Parnell]

No, no. He was so perfect. And the way, I mean, honestly, I did break a little bit, but knew the Camera wasn't on me. I just kind of looked down at my guitar and had a quick moment. It was when Will was, you know, right up next to me in my face, or. It was hard to not laugh at that.

[Pete Holmes]

I think they might, like, call a doctor. If you. If you really managed to not laugh at that, it would be proof that your soul had left your body or something.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, that may be too, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

And then. Is there a technique? What I used to do on HBO's Crashers when I would try not to laugh is I would picture Judd. So I guess in your case, it would be Lauren screaming at me. Like, I would just try to go into, like, my. Because when you're scared, it's hard to, like, have a really good chuckle.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And Judd never screamed at me. But, like, in my mind, I would imagine him being like, I gave you a big bacon. This is how you laughing. And, like. So that's what I would do. What did you do?

[Chris Parnell]

You know, I would just. This sounds so pretentious, but I would just try to be in the moment, you know, as that guy. Pretentious.

[Pete Holmes]

So you're in the moment as the guy.

[Chris Parnell]

Right, Right.

[Pete Holmes]

What is his reality? And he's laying down Don't Fear the Reaper.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And he doesn't want to mess up. Is this real?

[Chris Parnell]

Something like that, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So whenever you're trying not to laugh, you are just trying to embody the character, not Chris Parnell. But this guy wouldn't think this is funny, right?

[Chris Parnell]

Exactly. Exactly. He would. He would just be there in the recording studio, and he's trying to, you know, make a good recording. Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Katie, I don't know if I've told this story before. Just tell me if I. If I've told it a million times. We were doing the Street Fighter. We did these Street Fighter parodies where I fire characters from this. From Street Fighter, basically.

[Chris Parnell]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm telling M. Bison that his M. Bison is the last guy.

[Chris Parnell]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't even. This isn't important. But it's his tournament. He's, like, the big villain that in the reality of the game, he's sponsoring the tournament. And I'm telling him that logistically, that's a nightmare. And, like, the insurance alone. And one of the fighters is a monster like Blanca who can kill people. And, like, one guy has knives on his hands. Like, this is not gonna work.

[Chris Parnell]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Also, sorry to relive the sketch, but, like, you should have them all. The fighters should fly to one central location. Why are we Flying Ryu to America to fight again. Have them all go to Atlanta. It's not gonna work. And the actor. I'm so sorry, I don't remember his name. And this is the part that I would have said a million times. He cries. And after the scene, I was. I was pretty new at acting. And I was like, how did you do that? Like, really impressed. And he said what you said. He was like, I just imagine that I'm the guy and I really want to put on this. I really want to put on this tournament. And. And now I'm being told that my dream. You haven't heard that. He's like, my dream can't come true. And he wasn't, like, bawling, but it wouldn't have been appropriate for him to bawl. It was sort of like a tough guy, tears coming down his face. But he did the Parnell.

[Chris Parnell]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

Just like, what is the reality for the guy?

[Chris Parnell]

Just for the record, I don't think I invented that. But, you know, we're calling the Parnell. Well, you know, mostly it's not like, super deep. It's just like, I'm hearing the recording studio. I'm not necessarily that guy. It's just like I'm here in the scene and da, da, da. You know, I still.

[Pete Holmes]

If something. Will's shirtless.

[Chris Parnell]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Wigged face with the glasses and the gyrating. And at that point, I mean, I have to think we did this on. On Home Sweet Home Alone. I would always be trying to make you laugh. That was, like, one of the ways that the whole movie was better because we were being silly.

[Chris Parnell]

Sure.

[Pete Holmes]

So when I say Will was probably trying to make you laugh in the same way that Farley was trying to make Spade laugh in. In Matt Foley, like, he's trying to. Like, he's. There's a little bit of him being Will to Chris, I have to admit. Would you agree with that?

[Chris Parnell]

I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I mean.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's a good job.

[Chris Parnell]

It's hard to tell, though. I mean, he's. He's very committed, you know, and he's got this look in his eyes. This sort of dead shark look in his eyes. He's going to. He's so pissed off that. That guy. That character is so pissed off that he. That they're cutting down his cowbell, you know? But, yeah, it was. It was hard not to laugh.

[Pete Holmes]

And even harder when you saw all of the more cowbell T shirts. I mean, merchandising.

[Chris Parnell]

You can't stop it. I know, I know. Yeah, it was a big. It was a big surprise. I mean. I mean, not a huge surprise, but it was, you know, it's taking on this whole life of its own.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I have to imagine when you're. Well, you tell me. But here's the leading question. When you're doing so many sketches, like, you're saying you don't even remember the dress because you're doing so many.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Would you say it's true that you don't even know which ones are gonna hit? Not necessarily with the live audience, but like. Like a more recent sketch that seemed to catch the imagination was Mr. Pumpkins. You know, I don't know if you saw Tom Hanks do Mr. Pumpkins.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That really felt like they reverse engineered something viral to me, actually. They were like, we need something that, like, everyone's gonna go as for Halloween. And they were like, well, dress Tom Hanks up and call him Mr. Puffin.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

It's really funny, but more cowbell. Did not. That seems like a. I'm not saying it's not funny, but it. It seems like it could have just as easily not made it. Like somebody would have been like, okay, this is funny, but, like, I don't know if it's like, essential to the show. Like, maybe we'll put something else in there. Like, you know what I'm saying? I guess my question is, do you. Did. What was your Spidey sense for when something was going to be popular?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, I think. I think the fact that everybody was breaking in it like that, I mean, it was a pretty good sign. It's like when Rachel Dratch was doing Debbie Downer with. I can't remember who the host was, but, you know, she was really trying not to laugh, but she couldn't help it. And it was just, you know, other people were breaking and. Oh, Lindsay Lohan. That's who it was. Yeah, yeah, but it's. It's. Yeah, when somebody's really trying not to laugh and they're really laughing and the audience is on board with it, you know, Know, it's. Yeah, it's a pretty good sign, right?

[Pete Holmes]

So then you'd have a sense. But what about, like, obviously lazy Sunday is another big one for you. Did you. When you saw that, were you like, this is going to be big, or were you like, who knows?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, you know, when we were doing it, we were joking, you know, that, oh, this is going to be amazing, you know, but not really thinking it was going to kind of be what it was you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

Kind of pretending to be full of ourselves. But then I got a. I was home for Christmas and I got a call from. From, I guess it was Mark lepus and NBC publicity and said they. They wanted to do a piece on it for the New York Times. And I was just like, oh, wow. I didn't realize this had become a thing.

[Pete Holmes]

That's hilarious.

[Chris Parnell]

But we. Mark always thanks me for mentioning him when I talk about that.

[Val]

Oh, wow.

[Pete Holmes]

We'll edit it out.

[Chris Parnell]

No, don't.

[Pete Holmes]

We'll go ahead and.

[Chris Parnell]

So this is for you, Mark.

[Pete Holmes]

Everyone will think you said some swear that we don't allow. Like the worst swear, like, oh, Jesus. For the New York Times. So Mark wrote it. I know that. I know that name. I think we work together.

[Chris Parnell]

That's awesome. He's probably cool.

[Pete Holmes]

He's a comedy guy.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Very, very cool.

[Pete Holmes]

So they did a piece on it. And did they ask you what I'm about to ask you, which is, did you used to go out for cupcakes? By the way, Chris, we're not just gonna go through the greatest hits of your career. I'm happy to see you. We're gonna talk about real life stuff. But I was watching so many clips of you before you came, and I was just like, we got it. There's certain things we gotta hit. Well, sure, let's hit them up top.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then we'll be like, have you ever seen a ufo? We'll late. Did you go to cupcakes? That's my dumb question.

[Chris Parnell]

I did not. I did not go get cupcakes.

[Pete Holmes]

It seemed. If I had to guess, I would have guessed that was your answer. Because it seems more like that style that you did so often, which is like, it's absurd to be rapping about a baker's dozen of cupcakes.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, that's more the joke that, like, oh, on Sunday they would go and get cupcakes.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, that's what we did. Yeah. And they. And the person who was on duty as the acting manager at the time, like, wanted to confiscate our tape. They were not pleased that we were shooting.

[Pete Holmes]

Really.

[Chris Parnell]

And even though we. They. We couldn't shoot inside. We went in and got the cupcakes or somebody did, and then we shot outside. And they did not like us doing that. But of course, it's a public space, and I don't think they can. But, yeah, had they known what business.

[Pete Holmes]

It was like a real, like, get out of here, you ruffians.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, they weren't nasty about It. But it was just like, they did not like that there was. There was shooting going on outside the cupcake store.

[Pete Holmes]

But then I'm assuming they probably saw a bump in biz. Although that was one of those. That was a time in New York when I feel like cupcakes, like, people were lining up for cupcakes. We're not doing that as much as a people. But I was in New York at that time, and it was like, here come the cupcakes. Like Sex and the City cupcakes.

[Chris Parnell]

It was a thing. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What kind was it? Cause it's not the kind they have here in la. They have sprinkles here.

[Chris Parnell]

Magnolia Bakery.

[Pete Holmes]

That's it. And that was on Sex and the City, I think.

[Chris Parnell]

Was it?

[Pete Holmes]

I think they made it very pop, very trendy.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, so they made it popular.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Chris Parnell]

Take it away from us, Pete.

[Pete Holmes]

The Chronicles of Narnia, a moderate hit.

[Chris Parnell]

Did we?

[Pete Holmes]

Did we? Did we?

[Chris Parnell]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

When I was a kid, I went to church. And this is. Right. Actually, I must not have been in New York yet, because the Chronicles of Narnia was coming out. And I remember my mom. This is what happened at churches around the country. I'm sure everybody's mom knew somebody that was maybe working on the Chronicles of Narnia because it's like a C.S. lewis book, so it's like a Christian production. So there'd be like a lot of, like, I think we can get you in this movie. Like, my mom is talking to Gail Vacante or something, and she knows somebody and coming back to you. How often does that happen? When you were a kid? Did somebody try to help you out in some way that you just. I just knew in my gut, I was like, no, don't even try, please. I'm embarrassed to be associated with this. Do you recall ever having that feeling of, like, I don't know how show business works, but I know it's not this. Does that feel familiar?

[Chris Parnell]

You know what? Not. The thing is, my dad was a. Was a disc jockey. And he. And after he left that business, he had his own recording studio.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm picturing will and more cowbell. Because when you say disc jockey, I'm picturing long, no buttons on that shirt, a couple lines of cocaine on a patty. He was not a rock and roll disc jockey.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, he was. He was.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, his personality.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, no, he was. You know, he's pretty, you know, conservative guy. But. But, yeah, he would have. Then he had his recording studio and he would have my sister and me sometimes do the voices of kids and in commercials and things. Oh, that's fun. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you remember when you did. Oh, Tangy Whip of Miracle Whip?

[Chris Parnell]

Was that Good, Dad?

[Pete Holmes]

They left. Was that good, dad? What was that Good dad is in the spot. I guess it's selling Cool Whip.

[Chris Parnell]

I remember one of them, I said something about wanting to be a football player like Joe Namath. So that gives you a sense of how long ago it was, if you even know who Joe Namath is.

[Pete Holmes]

I do know.

[Chris Parnell]

I know you do. I know you do. But hand all your listeners. Is that what they call Joe? I think so.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I always think of Joe Namath with the purple lips. It's not. I don't. I'm not even saying this to be funny. You know that clip where he's, like, really ripped?

[Chris Parnell]

I don't. I don't know. I do know that clip.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, if you love Joe Namath, and I'm guessing you do, maybe don't watch it, because it's like, I think he cleaned up his act after that. But there was, like, a low moment. It's like some super bowl or something. And he clearly got lit while he was watching the game. And he's talking to the woman. He's like, I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you. Like, he's just kind of like, Joe. No, no, no, no, no, no. Joe read the room.

[Chris Parnell]

Not, not.

[Pete Holmes]

Not.

[Chris Parnell]

Somebody was there with a camp.

[Pete Holmes]

He has a. No, he has a. He's on the air, like, talking to him about the game. Wow. And his lips are dyed purple from drinking too much red wine.

[Chris Parnell]

Holy moly. No.

[Pete Holmes]

What is your vice, Chris Barnell?

[Chris Parnell]

I'm going to try and talk more.

[Pete Holmes]

Like you, so this whole. If I talk a little bit more like this, this podcast will just be number one. But on the health and fitness charts.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, Pete. I guess my vice is booze. You know, I like. I like the rye, and I remember that occasional Scotch.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. And knows the difference between scotch and rye.

[Chris Parnell]

That's not our Pete.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't it? Wait, what is the difference?

[Chris Parnell]

Bourbon and rye are closer, but bourbon and ry.

[Pete Holmes]

Rye. What's the difference between scotch and rye?

[Chris Parnell]

It's what they're malted. What you use to. To make the beverage, which I can't.

[Pete Holmes]

Tell you, but they taste very different.

[Chris Parnell]

They have a very different taste. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because. Okay, this. I also. There was no way we were going to miss this, but. And I want to talk a little bit more about your family, for sure. So that'll be what we go to after this, just to give you some previews. The. One of the funniest nights of my life. And I really want to remember how.

[Chris Parnell]

You remember it too.

[Pete Holmes]

Remember we were in Montreal.

[Chris Parnell]

Mm.

[Pete Holmes]

You're gonna have to correct me, because I might have. I might be, like, storybooking this memory. Yeah, it was. It had snowed.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It was, like, really, really snowy. And I think that's important is that we were at this hotel and it snowed so much that, like, you couldn't go anywhere. But we were shooting home alone.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Val]

And.

[Pete Holmes]

And it was one of these great things. It's one of my happiest places. Are you like that? I love being in a hotel and knowing there are friends there. And we're all gonna go to dinner and it's a job, but it's not that hard. Like, it's fun.

[Chris Parnell]

No, absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It feels like. It feels like being snowed in.

[Chris Parnell]

And we were. Yeah, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

And you and I decided to go to dinner. And there was a place, like, the only place we could go. Cause it was freezing out. Was two if that. Two blocks to the right.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Very close.

[Pete Holmes]

And it was. What kind of food was it? I remember what you got, but it was just like fine dining.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Yeah. It was a nice restaurant. Yeah. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

We. It's just you and me. We go in this restaurant. Katie, I can't stress. It was like the size of four of these garages. It was a small place. It was intimate. It kind of looked like somebody had turned their apartment, like a nice apartment into a restaurant. I'm not putting it down. I'm just saying it was small.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's important.

[Chris Parnell]

It was the size of a warehouse, Katie.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm huge, so I was like, dumb place. There's nowhere for me to put my puma. So you. Good puma. Riff, you got recognized by the manager and the waiter. And the waiter.

[Chris Parnell]

Right. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

This is what. This is some. I don't recall exactly who spotted you first, but I think it was the manager. Because I think he was one of those hands on managers, like, proud of his restaurant. Helping with the coats.

[Chris Parnell]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

So he's taking our coats, and he recognizes you, and he starts chatting you up a little bit and, like, really showing a lot of favor.

[Chris Parnell]

Right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

To you. Which I'm gonna say, you are not that kind of person. You're like a very even person. You know what I mean? I think so.

[Chris Parnell]

I'm not usually wild like I am on this podcast.

[Pete Holmes]

But that's sort of it. It's like if Russell Brand had gone in, there might have been more like, I.

[Chris Parnell]

Wild.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, come on. You know, like, like there's more of a show. Robin Williams, like, oh, here, table.

[Chris Parnell]

Table for two, table three.

[Pete Holmes]

Like that. There's certain personalities that if they're recognized by a hands on manager in a tiny, tiny French restaurant or whatever it was in Montreal and there's snow, they would play into it. But you're, you're like a. You're not playing that up. You're like, oh, nice to meet you. You're being nice and all that stuff. But they are ringing every bell inside that there is a celebrity here. And the hands on. The hands on manager was so invested in how much you liked the food.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm pretty sure he told you to get the rabbit.

[Chris Parnell]

I think so.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm pretty sure I know you did.

[Chris Parnell]

I know I got the rabbit.

[Pete Holmes]

You got the rabbit. But I think he was like, Mr. Cornell, you. You will not have a lazy Sunday if you try to say that. He's not doing that. He's. He's basically being like, I know Paul Rudd's cologne smelled so bad in Anchorman, but try saying your credit. And you order the rabbit. And you. And this is where you correct me if I'm wrong. It's not great. Like, you didn't love it.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, I do. I do. Remember not. I don't know if it was gristly or what it was. I feel like it was maybe a fair bit of fat on it. Yes. Yeah. No, this is so key.

[Pete Holmes]

It's so small, it's so quiet and it's so snowy. And he is so laser locked on your reaction. And you barely eat it. Like, you don't eat a lot of it because it was fatty, right? Whatever it was, you didn't like it. And he comes personally by to clear the plates. And there's like 99% of this rabbit on your plate.

[Chris Parnell]

Maybe 90, maybe 90, maybe 90.

[Pete Holmes]

And he has the audacity to say, did you like it? And you, your face sort of quivered in the way that a big lie will bubble up to your nostrils. And you were like, yeah, yeah. I was like, you're taking it away pretty much as it was dropped. He didn't like it. But like something about you, specifically someone who seems like you don't want to. Like, this guy was so nice, you don't want to hurt his feelings. But the plate, it was like the telltale plate. Like you were trying everything you could to make this guy feel good. But the plate protested too much.

[Chris Parnell]

It did. But I also don't think. I don't think. I don't think I worked that hard to sell the idea that I like the rabbit.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you let out a meek. Yeah, like that. And that killed me. And it became church laughter. And I was just crying and laughed the rest of the night. And I'm still talking about. I think I've told that story without you here.

[Chris Parnell]

Really? Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

One of the funniest nights of my life. Something about who you are. I don't know. I can't even quite describe it, which it will take. I know we were going to talk about family, but when.

[Val]

Talking about that.

[Pete Holmes]

Like Russell Brand or Robin Williams, you are even keel. Is that like a good way to put it?

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

When I picture snl, I do picture more of that. Like somebody's rolling a piano up the stairs, you know, like they're just like, we gotta get a piano for sketch. And they're drunk and they haven't worked there for three years. It just seems kind of wild. Or at least the hours are kind of strange. Did you gel with that lifestyle?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, you know, when I was doing. Wasn't the crazy lifestyle for most of us that you might picture from the 70s or something. I mean, there wasn't an abundance of drugs up there. I mean, we had a bottle of whiskey in our office. Will and Jerry Collins and I, when I first started there, we called it the gentleman's quarters. And after the table read on Wednesday, we would have a little glass of Scotch or whatever it was. And that was very nice.

[Pete Holmes]

Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch.

[Chris Parnell]

Scotty Scott from Anchorman.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm assuming you don't watch.

[Chris Parnell]

I do. I do. Remember that, though.

[Pete Holmes]

People who weren't in it.

[Chris Parnell]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, we throw it on.

[Chris Parnell]

No, that's good.

[Pete Holmes]

People still throw it on. No, it's worth throwing a very funny movie. So he says, Scotty, so you have a. In the gentleman's quarters?

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, we'd have our Scotch, but, yeah, I mean, it was. It was. It wasn't too crazy, you know, and it. And it was competitive, I guess. But most of that was kind of behind the scenes. And people in general, I would say, got along pretty well.

[Pete Holmes]

What does that mean? Competitive? Like, how did that manifest when it did?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, I think it would manifest itself by a cast member going into Lauren's office and sort of expressing their frustration that their sketch hadn't made it in or didn't, you know, get a good spot or whatever. And I kind of didn't never. I never knew about that kind of until after the fact. It would trickle down, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Right, right. You mean, like, not gaming the system, but being like, I think I can go to this guy and, like, whisper in his ear a little bit?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, not even that. It was more like Lorne being scared of the person, really.

[Pete Holmes]

I never think of him that way.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, that. That was my take on it. I was never there for it, but it was described to me, and I think he just didn't want to deal with this person's upset. Being upset, you know, and coming after him, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, that's so interesting. Of course. He's a human being. He doesn't want people coming in and yelling.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So then maybe we're hypothesizing, but maybe then that would nudge sketch on. Maybe Squeaky wheel. Getting the grease, Maybe.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Did you face that frustration? Like you'd write something you really like or you had something written for you that you really liked and it would be kind. By the way, this isn't, like, a nasty podcast. I'm not trying to be like, what's the dirt, Chris?

[Chris Parnell]

What dirt?

[Pete Holmes]

Who do you hate? Who do you hate?

[Val]

You mad at Jay Moore?

[Pete Holmes]

Like, that's not what I'm about. So I'm just curious. Were you seeing results? Were you getting stuff on, or were you feeling a little bit more frustration and then you got better at learning how to get stuff on or.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, you know, I. Yes. I mean, everybody's. Most Everybody gets frustrated on the show because, you know, you spend so much time writing all these sketches, and then, you know, you're gonna do them at the table read Wednesday, and then only a handful are gonna get picked.

[Pete Holmes]

It's brutal.

[Chris Parnell]

And then after that, they're gonna get cut at air and that kind of thing. But when I fared best, I mean, I think the only things really that I got on beside my. My Weekend Update wraps were when I would write with one of the people on the writing staff.

[Pete Holmes]

You were freestyling, Completely incredible. Freestyler.

[Chris Parnell]

Thanks.

[Pete Holmes]

Knowing you can't swear. Wow. Keeping it clean but dirty. It was really incredible off the dome. Thank you.

[Chris Parnell]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

What would be.

[Chris Parnell]

What would be hard was when a sketch would make it to dress that, you know, you're really hoping would. Would then make it onto air, but it would get cut. And I had that happen a lot of times with a. A character called Terry Funk.

[Pete Holmes]

Terry Funk. Tell me everything. Can you close the door?

[Chris Parnell]

There's a.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a Leaf blur. Please just. I'm talking to Katie like she's. Alexa. Alexa, close the door. Thank you, Katie. She's leaving. She's finally added up. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

[Chris Parnell]

You did it. B. Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

She was in a rage with my kid, with Leela. I. I sometimes am polite to Alexa. Do you ever do that? You're like, alexa, play frozen, please. Because I don't think she knows the difference.

[Chris Parnell]

She doesn't know it's not a sentient being.

[Pete Holmes]

She doesn't know it's not sentient. And she just. She either hears me being polite or she doesn't. We're gonna get back to that Funk guy. I'm just wondering, have you ever done that with your child? Being like, I'm gonna be polite to something that isn't real?

[Chris Parnell]

Just. No, we don't, you know, we don't do any of the speaking things in the house. Just.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you don't have any of those.

[Chris Parnell]

We don't have any of those. I'm just too paranoid about being listened in on. I mean, I do a lot of undercover st. So I have a pretty. I shouldn't be talking about it.

[Pete Holmes]

I had a bit of. It's so funny that they did put a listening device in her house. And the way they got me, for example, to do it was music. Something I already have.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

They just made it so I can play it with my voice. And you're like, no, I'll just get up and press play myself.

[Chris Parnell]

You know, I still do that.

[Pete Holmes]

That's not bugged.

[Chris Parnell]

I still do that with my phone, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

So you are bugged.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, you know, if. If they want to go that far to infiltrate my phone, then I guess we're all bugged.

[Pete Holmes]

I think it Sixes, man. They're like, we could either hack Parnell's Alexa or his phone. And they're like, just do both. We got a minute and a half. We can do it. You were saying the funk, though.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, Terry Funk.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, Terry Funk. Terrence to his friends.

[Chris Parnell]

He. He was a guy that lived in his parents basement. A very effeminate southern man who had some fun tastes. And, you know, he was. He was sort of. He was based on a guy at college that I knew not well, but. But yeah, we only. He only made it on the air a couple of times. Once with Jeff Gordon, the race car driver. It was. It was Jeff's best sketch by far. He really took to it. He was great.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

And then. And then. And then I did it another time. With Horatio doing one of his characters. Oh, shoot. I can't remember his name. The character's name. And Will. Will was the host, and the three of us did a called Going to the Movies, I think, and it was a terrible little movie review show.

[Pete Holmes]

Was it? This is leading, but it. You know, on the show, people did. They love to load the Chris Parnell irony, meaning, like, let's make a guy that seems like Ted Koppel. I'm, you know, like, who can play that straight and make him rap really aggressively. Like, obviously, that's super funny. But then it sounds like Terry Funk was like, I'm wondering if it was a little bit more like, let me. Let me be silly. Let me show you some. Another side. Is that what maybe makes it stick out?

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Thing that got cut.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, yeah. Because it was a character I really like doing. I wrote it with Paula Pell, and it was. It was just. It was a lot of fun, and I felt like I did it pretty well and. Yeah, it was just hard to, you know, find the right host for it. I mean, we did it. We did it. I did it with a lot of hosts, but I don't. I don't know how many times it made it to dress, but. Yeah, but, you know, I mean, I. One of the great things about SNL is just being able to do so many different kinds of characters and things. And, yeah, I didn't have that many characters, but, you know, I had like, the Bloater Brothers with Jimmy, which I don't know how many people remember that. We were two very awkward brothers and with. With curly little afros. And I had the DeMarco brothers with Chris Catan. We were. We were backup dancers, always auditioning for the musical guest. But, yeah, so sometimes I would have things. You know, I had a few. No, clearly, you are. You're saying I. You're saying I did one thing. You're saying I did one thing. I was a one trick.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I think I'm curious, though. You know, I'm not like you, but, like, I get pitched things like, you know, friendly guys and priests and pastors and stuff like that, and I'm fine with it.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I think you also had that groove, I wonder, sort of switching gears. Do you see when I saw Beck Bennett, who did this podcast, and I think is incredible.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm like, oh, he's sort of like the Parnell. Does that make sense? Like, it seems like Lorne figures out the different flavors that are needed, and then when you lose Parnell, you hire New Parnell. I'm not saying he's derivative. He does his own thing, and I absolutely love him. Did you feel that way where you're like, oh, he's doing the. That slot. We'll call it the. The yellow slot.

[Chris Parnell]

I did a little bit. I did a little bit. And I think I feel like there was some comparison.

[Pete Holmes]

Was there?

[Chris Parnell]

There were some comparisons made, yeah. Because he would also do the VO for a lot of the commercial parodies. And. Yeah, he's. Beck's amazing. I don't know that I've ever actually met Beck, sadly, but. But, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, you're sitting where he sat.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

Pre Pan. It's a long time.

[Chris Parnell]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

I. I think he's truly, truly, truly great. And I wonder what the different flavors are, like if you're Lauren and you're putting that together. I mean, like. Like, Will is sort of like a. What do you even call that?

[Chris Parnell]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, how do you get like, how do you make another one? But it's almost like if there was another Will, would you want. You wouldn't want five wills, you know what I'm saying?

[Chris Parnell]

Would you?

[Pete Holmes]

Or would you? I mean.

[Chris Parnell]

I mean, one of the great things. One of the many great things about Will is he was also a really strong writer. So he would bring a lot of stuff to the table either by himself or with, like, Adam McCain.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. You want five wills?

[Chris Parnell]

Take it back. You want five will.

[Pete Holmes]

But there are different, different flavors.

[Chris Parnell]

Ye.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, let's go back in time a little bit to the beginning of this interview. Do you like me? I'm just kidding. Let's go back in time.

[Chris Parnell]

This is awesome. Well, Pete, I think you're a good guy. I think you got a lot of great qualities.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you think I'm in the lineage of Beck Bennett?

[Chris Parnell]

I think in a different lineage of your own.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm more of a. Well, I don't even know who I am.

[Chris Parnell]

Stand up actor. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So that's more of like Rock and Spade. I just want SNL people.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, so I'm. Your story's very interesting. I'm. I'm sure you've told it many times, but I'm curious about why acting and why comedy and how it came about. But if you could, really, before you tell the story, what are those memories that you have of performing as a young person? Like, for me, it was like summer camp or it was like youth group, like those early. Or I was in a video production class. Where we'd learn how to make videos.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But like you'd have to have someone in the video. And I was like, well, yeah, like I'm immediately volunteering to be in everyone's video.

[Chris Parnell]

Sure.

[Pete Holmes]

For you. What were those early. Even before high school, do you remember? I guess you could say getting the bug or wanting to perform or realizing you didn't want to be an audience member, you wanted to be on stage.

[Chris Parnell]

You know, that, that didn't. I mean that took a little while to come. It was, it wasn't really until middle school. But I was, you know, I was, I was silly. I was a cut up and would try to make people laugh in class and got in trouble for that quite a lot.

[Pete Holmes]

And in the same style that I'm talking to today. Was it like kind of like an understatement or were you like just.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh no, I was kind of like.

[Pete Holmes]

A crazy fire hose.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Not a fire hose. I don't, I don't remember what I did. I mean, but one occasion I remember because I think it embarrassed my poor mother so much is we had like an open house sort of day in first grade and the mothers mostly, if not all the mothers, came to sort of see some projects we'd done. And one of the things that our teacher Ms. Smith did for entertainment was she was going to play the guitar and sing Sunshine on My Shoulders. And I thought that was a great opportunity to sort of act it out behind her until she finally caught me, corrected me.

[Pete Holmes]

Much like an interpretive dance.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, just like sort of just miming it all, you know, it was, I'm sure it was really lame.

[Pete Holmes]

Like Sunshine.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. And I was like looking at my shoulder, you know. Yeah. It was not good in my Baptist, in my Baptist private school.

[Pete Holmes]

Or was it so that. So you were a hammy kid?

[Chris Parnell]

A little bit, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And can I. Without getting too therapy. Ish. I like my parents were just here and I notice even when I'm with them, I really perform and I think like they would sort of be in their own worlds a lot of the time. And that made me want to like sparkle and get their attention. So I loved being heard and getting laughs was like a way to. It's like confirmation that you've been heard or seen in the case of a dance. So it was sort of like in the home. There were a lot of big personalities in my home and that made me want to like.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh sure.

[Pete Holmes]

Out outly or, or stand out in some way. What was it? What was going on in your life? That, do you think, developed a sense of humor? Like, why did you develop that?

[Chris Parnell]

God, you know, it's a, it's a good question. I, you know, I had a pretty, you know, solid family life, normal. Not, you know, not anything too crazy. We went to church and I was, you know, a believer. And I don't know. I don't know, but I'm sure. Well, I'm sure it was just kind of insecurity, just wanting attention, you know, wanting to be liked.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, I wonder, for me, when I went to church and was a believer in all that too, and when that performance principle of like, if you're good, you, you go to heaven, if you're bad, you go to hell. So I wanted to like constantly be proving that I was absurd. Like making laughs and here and good. Like they're laughing, it's okay. But like, I didn't want anyone to be mad. Like mad wasn't safe.

[Chris Parnell]

Sure.

[Pete Holmes]

And I wonder if that. I'm actually just processing this in real time. I'm like, that figure that God that was gonna like kick me into a furnace if I was bad probably made me want to sparkle all the more. Like, if I can get everybody going.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you don't send that kid to hell.

[Chris Parnell]

No. You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

I'm juggling and stuff. Does that make any sense to you?

[Chris Parnell]

I don't think so. I mean, definitely that upbringing affected me and continues to affect me, but I don't, because I think I separated. I was kind of literal. I mean, I knew if you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you're going to heaven. If you didn't, you're going to hell. And so my performative thing kind of didn't matter, you know, you, you felt locked in. Well, I, I would, I would ask for forgiveness when I felt like I would, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

Being. Being bad or, you know, causing too much trouble or something, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I understand.

[Chris Parnell]

But I didn't see it as a. It wasn't. I was always, it was always reinforced that getting into heaven was not a matter of accumulating good works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It was just a grace based sort of thing.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is great. Yeah, I love that.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Less guilt, less shame. How did it wear on is.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, no, there was plenty. I mean, it still wears on me now because I've. This is something. I, I don't talk about it the religious aspect, but in therapy, you know, like being very hard on myself and sort of watching myself and being a little strict with myself and so I'M always working on being freer and. And, you know, the general thing of being in the moment and enjoying life and all that kind of stuff. But I think I still feel. Feel the. The God sort of thing looking over me and I'd sort of become in my own head, I think.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

An overdeveloped superego, I guess. Well, the thing that. Just a fancy way, obviously, of saying the thing that's wagging its finger or wants you to do better.

[Chris Parnell]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Or like, come on, Chris, that's not how we behave or whatever. Well, that's why I asked you about the. The vice. Like, the. The drinking helps you lighten up, I'm assuming.

[Chris Parnell]

You know, I just. Yes. But I. I also just love the flavor of it. I really enjoy the flavor of a nice.

[Pete Holmes]

By the way, I don't drink anymore, but I. I'm with you. Like, I like drinking stringent things.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I'll just swallow my Listerine when I'm done. I don't care.

[Chris Parnell]

Cool, man.

[Val]

Guys, cool.

[Chris Parnell]

Mint.

[Pete Holmes]

Relax.

[Chris Parnell]

It's cool, man.

[Pete Holmes]

Still, I get. My dad was just here and he was watching my daughter eat something and she just lit up. And he was like, all the taste buds are still working. And I'm like, yeah, dad, she hasn't been gargling Listerine for 30 years. You've been searing them off. You laughed really hard. He's an original Listerine man. For a really long time. And they are a sponsor. So I shouldn't be saying this, but I think it makes it you unable to taste your food. But listerine.com weird for. I'm just kidding. They're not a sponsor. They are not a sponsor. That's.

[Chris Parnell]

I think you just lost him.

[Pete Holmes]

There they go. Okay, so interpretive dance. And then what happened in middle school where you continued to blossom, although we were on that God thing. That was pretty interesting.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, you know, there's. There was something that happened and this sounds crazy, but I was a big Charlie's Angels fan. I. Farrah Fawcett was like my first, you know, celebrity crush. And as I'm sure she was for.

[Pete Holmes]

For many folks, to quote Steve Martin, the amount of time I spent holding her poster with one hand. Dirty Birdie. Dirty Birdie. Steve, only masturbators in the building.

[Chris Parnell]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Weird, weird riffs. But you were obsessed with Farrah Fawcett.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, I love Farrah Fawcett. I had a Charlie's angel scrapbook, which I still have, and I. And I had the thought of, like, I wanted to be around beautiful Women like Farrah and Jacqueline and Kate. How would I get to do that? And. And it made sense to me that, well, you want to be in the business. You know, you want to be in the. In the film TV business.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, you wanted to be Charlie.

[Chris Parnell]

Right? I just. I just wanted to be around, you know, beautiful ladies. That was. That was a part of my childhood motivation.

[Pete Holmes]

I just say, Chris, this is one of the most honest and earnest and sort of innocent things that have been said on this podcast, and it's exactly what I'm getting at. It's like, when you say that, it takes me back to that age, middle school, and it being such a mystery, where are beautiful women, how on earth? And it wasn't even about, like. I like how you're saying it. I just wanted to be around them.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I hadn't yet put it together, what. What a relationship was, or. I didn't have a good understanding what sex was or anything like that, but I was just like, beautiful women. Farrah Fawcett. For me, it was Tiffany Amber Thiessen. I'm like, how do I get that? And you look on TV and we would see guys like us with beautiful women, and you're like, maybe this. Yeah, that was so earnest. I loved it.

[Chris Parnell]

That's true. Yeah. So that we had a. We got a new drama teacher at sbec Southern Baptist Educational Center. We had.

[Pete Holmes]

I knew what sbec.

[Chris Parnell]

Sorry. Sorry. I don't mean to condescend. No, I love that Gay Forbis, who was a very lovely woman in her own right, she started sort of a drama program there because we didn't have anything. And there were auditions, and. And I had noticed in the yearbook there was a drama club, and I was completely unaware of that. And one of my classmates was in it, and I was like, well, wait, I want to be in this. And so the auditions happened. I auditioned. I got a little part in this one play, and I. And then I got the lead. And I don't know if it was the next one or whatever, but I. But I. You know, I got to do some plays there, and. And then I changed schools and went to. We. We moved out of Memphis proper to a suburb called Germantown and went to Germantown High School and started doing speech tournaments and things there where you would just do a. I would do this duet acting scene or scenes, and you would perform them at different high schools around. And. And you were, like, competing against other schools, and you would get. You know, the judges would vote and. And. But it was. It for me, it was so important because it was just a matter of getting up in front of people and. And doing scenes and. And not, you know, being uncomfortable with that.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, acting, though. Acting. So it was a speech class, but you were doing, like, a scene from a play.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, it was a cutting from a play. It was called duet acting. I would also do radio or television broadcasting, which is where you take a bunch of clips from, you know, news stories that they'd give you in a box. You'd put them together and make a little. Make do transitions and an introduction, and then you would read that either to a camera or just to the mic. And then that was another competition thing that I would do as well. But. But, yeah, but I was very lucky because Frank Bluestein was the drama teacher there, and. And he. He, you know, he. He. We. The show. The school put on amazing shows. I mean, legitimately amazing for a high school. Yeah, they were. They were really incredible. He was a hard ass. I mean, he was tough. Everybody respected him, but he did not accept mediocrity from us. You had to, like, really show up and do the work and be there and, you know, do your best. And he would not put up with it, would he?

[Pete Holmes]

Like, how are we almost at whiplash level? Like J.K. simmons, maybe.

[Chris Parnell]

I didn't. I didn't watch. I never saw whiplash.

[Pete Holmes]

But, like, domineering.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, he would yell at us. I mean, he would really yell stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

That probably wouldn't age super well.

[Chris Parnell]

Probably not, no. But I mean, but it was, you know, everybody. Everybody respected him. You know, it wasn't like.

[Pete Holmes]

It was like cruelty for cruelty's sake. No, it was a. It was a. A leader. He was leading the charge.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. He knew what we were capable of, and he knew that to get it out of us, sometimes people needed yelling at.

[Pete Holmes]

Did he yell at you?

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, yeah. Parnell.

[Pete Holmes]

Did he call you Parnell?

[Chris Parnell]

I don't know what he called me, but. But, yeah, yeah, I certainly got yelled at for, I don't know, something, you know, I don't. I don't know, just, you know, not being where I was supposed to be or making a late entrance or not having the lines learned. I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, so all art stuff, not like having a rock and roll attitude.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, no.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you guys were there to do theater and this guy was going to take you to the top of the mountain.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're. It sounds like you were grateful that you had this person.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, my God. He's still a friend. I Mean, he was. He's my mentor. He's. He's the person who taught me what good acting was.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Chris Parnell]

And he understood it because we'd see these. We'd see these other students at these other schools, and their idea of acting well was just to emote to the 10th degree. You know, it was just super big. Everything was like this. And. Oh, my goodness. And this. And this.

[Pete Holmes]

Jimmy, we gotta get the cat out of the tree.

[Chris Parnell]

Exactly. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, he. You know, we benefited from his having a much better sense of what good acting was. And, you know, and we brought that to our scenes. And eventually I won first place in the state of Tennessee with my duet acting. Two years in a row. Pete. Two years in a row.

[Pete Holmes]

What scene were you doing? Glass Menage.

[Chris Parnell]

No, this was the gentleman. Call it. Good scene for high school, though. Yeah. The first one is from a play called the Diviners. And then another one. The second one was a place on the Magdalena flats.

[Pete Holmes]

And where did your teacher friend. What was his name again?

[Chris Parnell]

Frank Bluestein. Mr. B. I still call him Mr. B.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. I. Because of this podcast, I've been able to stay in touch with some of my high school teachers. It's really special.

[Chris Parnell]

That's nice.

[Pete Holmes]

Also, Mr. Bay, where did he learn how to act? Was. Was he an actor?

[Chris Parnell]

No, he wasn't an actor. He. He. He was an educator. I mean, he. He really cared about it. He loved it.

[Pete Holmes]

Taste. I mean, he could discern what. Good acting. Yeah, that's a rare talent, I think.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, I think so, too. He was. Yeah, he was and is a brilliant man, you know, and he was the one who, you know, after I'd done. I've been doing plays, like, up through, you know, my senior year and getting bigger parts and all that kind of thing, who encouraged me. He said, you know, if you wanted to do this for real, you could actually do it. He compared me very generously to Al Pacino. He said, you could be like Al Pacino.

[Pete Holmes]

And so I remember, by the way, someone said I could be like Liam Neeson.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it was my friend John Sruf, who was. I was in a play, and he's an actor, and he was giving me some tips. He was like, look at you. He was talking about my size. And he was like, you could be like Liam Neeson. And I thought he meant Leslie Nielsen. I really was like, oh, thank you very much. Well, only later did I realize he meant Liam Neeson. I was like, wow, that. That was not Leslie Nielsen. I'd be very happy yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

Great comparison.

[Pete Holmes]

But Leslie Nielsen is. Is. Am I saying Liam Neeson was more like Pacino? Like. Like a real dramatic. Like, oh, wow, I never could see myself like that. And he saw you as. As Pacino.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Yeah. As. You know, I mean, I. I don't know how literally he thought that, but, you know, he encouraged the potential. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

He encouraged you.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Yeah. And so, you know, that gave me the sort of. That was the encouragement that I needed to. Okay, well, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go for it then, because I do want to do this and, you know, audition for drama school and thankfully got in and.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're. Any resistance from the parents at this point?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, you know, my. My dad was already showbiz kind of adjacent with what he did, and so he.

[Pete Holmes]

And he knew that's what a DJ's business card says. Show visit. Jason. Hey, I'm Stan on him on kbam. Showbiz adjacent. You know that we think of you this way. That's brutal. But, yes. He wasn't big time is what you mean. He was in. He was. I. I know. Now I feel like I'm talking about your dad. I just mean he wasn't Howard Stern. He was.

[Chris Parnell]

No, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Showbiz adjacent.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Yeah. And. And for the. Only, for a little bit of my childhood, was he a dj. It was mostly him in a recording studio, recording commercials, producing commercials.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. But he knew Memphis actors who had gone to LA and done some work and had some success, but they had also told him stories about how hard it was. So he felt a responsibility to. To make sure that I knew how hard it was. And so, you know, they. They would talk to me about that, but once they realized how serious I was, they were. They were very supportive.

[Pete Holmes]

Really? That's great.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And your mom, too. She wasn't. I'm wondering. Nobody in the church was like. I remember some people were like, it's the devil's work. Like, a few people. Somebody wrote a letter, and my mom gave it to me. I feel like my mom could have gone ahead and just thrown that one away. She was like, roberta wrote this letter. And, you know, I still remember what it was. It was, comedy is in nightclubs, and nightclubs is where they serve alcohol. And then it had all these verses about not offering your neighbor strong drink or something whenever you're in Exodus, the early. The numbers of the book, you know, it's like the network channels on the tv, those aren't. I mean, you could almost prove anything you wanted to prove early Works the law. The law books of the Bible.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But you didn't run into any of that with your Baptist peeps.

[Chris Parnell]

I did not. I did not. But I don't think my upbringing was quite as strict as yours.

[Pete Holmes]

So they were like, go for it.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, yeah, great. Very much.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you got into drama school. How does that work? I'm not playing dumb for the sake of the show. How do you apply to drama school? Do you have to submit a tape or something?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, you submit a written application and.

[Pete Holmes]

But you have to write it with a quill.

[Chris Parnell]

You have to do it. Very fanciful.

[Pete Holmes]

I am mcmandammeter.

[Chris Parnell]

But basically you go, I could have done a group audition, which is what I was initially going to do, where you go to, like, one school, but a lot of representatives from different colleges are there to watch you do your scene or scenes or whatever, or your monologue. And Mr. Bluestein encouraged me to go to North Carolina School of the Arts and do the audition there for those drama teachers there. And. And I did. And so it's like, you.

[Pete Holmes]

That's good advice.

[Chris Parnell]

I think it was good.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, instead of putting it on tape or doing it watered down, maybe with the group, go directly.

[Chris Parnell]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Good advice.

[Chris Parnell]

And. Yeah. And so, you know, a lot of. A lot of kids auditioned and. And thankfully, I was. I was one of the ones that got accepted.

[Pete Holmes]

Big day. The thick envelope arrives.

[Chris Parnell]

I. Yeah, I'm. I know that it was. I know I was very excited. I don't remember many specifics of it. I think maybe I got a. I don't know if I got a call from my parents. Like, they might have called up at the school and somehow gotten to me. Oh, wow.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, because they got it at home.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. I came to. Came to my house.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. And they just went ahead and opened?

[Chris Parnell]

I think so. Yeah, I think they did. I think so. I have a terrible memory, Pete. So I could be making all of this up. I may not have even gone to drama school.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't think any of this is true. You're Bob Dylaning me. I always think it was funny that Bob Dylan just gave fake answers for interviews.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, did he?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, it's completely different from my style. I'm like, tell everything. Imagine. I don't think it's that cool. But I mean, like, it's a Bob Dylan kind of cool that it's like.

[Val]

Well, my dad was a shoemaker and.

[Pete Holmes]

My mom rose the dead. Just like, next interview. His dad's a carpenter. It's like, just change It. Yeah, I think he would do that for.

[Chris Parnell]

From time to time.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm glad you're not doing that. So the. We're coming to a part. You got some work after college.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Like, between junior and senior year, I went and did summer stock at the Berkshire Theater Festival, which was. I had to audition for and got. And that was a great experience. Amazing. And then I did the Alley Theaters apprentice program the year after I graduated down in Houston. And that was. That was a good experience overall. But I left there kind of disenchanted.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. I read this because they didn't take you into the main company.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Even though there really was no main.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no. Who do we want to say fuck you to? What's your name? Abby. Abby.

[Chris Parnell]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Sam.

[Chris Parnell]

No. Timmy. There was a guy in the company with me, lovely guy. And he. But he was much better. I saw it as about him being a much better socializer, much better schmoozer with the uppity ups in the theater. And also he was a much better singer than me, which was probably the real reason. Interesting. Yeah. He got invited to stick around and be a part of this musical production, and I didn't. And I was like. I was bummed and sort of naive and ridiculous. And I just thought, I guess I'm not going to have a career in the theater doing regional theater.

[Pete Holmes]

It must have hurt, though. I mean, that. It seems so silly now, but at the time, it probably felt like the world ended a little bit.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, it just, you know, I felt like that what I had done there, we would understudy these main stuff, main shows, and then we also would do our own shows. And I felt like I, you know, I'd made a good showing and thought something should come of that, but it didn't. So I went back and taught high.

[Pete Holmes]

School for a year that I want to talk about because I feel like. Did you ever pitch that as a show?

[Chris Parnell]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

That point in your life, you could do it like, Everybody Hates Chris, like, you're the narrator. Or it could be you. But, like, you. You would be a great English. Like the English teacher who wanted to be an actor.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, I was the drama teacher. I taught Introduction to theater. Yeah. Introduction to Film and Video.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, let's get to that. But put a pin just for one moment. I'm just curious how it's interesting. We've dealt. We've had two rejections. One was your sketches getting cut, and then the other was not getting in that piece of shit. What's it called? The Alley. Fuck you, Sam. Am I getting close with the name?

[Chris Parnell]

No, no.

[Pete Holmes]

But in both cases, it felt like there. And by the way, Chris, I'm not trying to expose you. I feel this way too. There must be some secret party, some secret room, some relationship that's being forged that I wasn't invited to. That's how I would interpret. It's still how I interpret rejection. And failure is. I'm like, well, there was probably some party I wasn't invited to, some. In some way, I was rejected. Like, on a personal level. All of this is to say, like, how do you cope with rejection now?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, I'm much better at it now.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

Obviously. Hopefully. I still don't particularly enjoy auditioning.

[Pete Holmes]

It's vulnerable. Right.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. And nowadays it's just all either. Mostly putting yourself on tape, they still call it, but even though it's on your iPhone or occasionally a zoom audition. But I just. I just switched agencies recently. I love my other agents, but I just went from UTA to A three and smaller agency. And. And, you know, and. And the guys over there have. I've gotten so many auditions in just the few months I've been with them.

[Pete Holmes]

That's great.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, it is great.

[Pete Holmes]

And so you need to, like, change the water in the hot tub, you know? Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

And. But. But, you know, it's. I do them and I feel good about them often, not always, but I'll do it. And. And then I'm just hoping, oh, maybe I'll get this one. Maybe I'll get this one. I almost, almost never do. Yeah, I get. I get.

[Pete Holmes]

Very surprising to me.

[Chris Parnell]

I get work almost always because people offer me work, you know. Yeah. So, you know, that's something to be.

[Pete Holmes]

Grateful for, isn't it?

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

Really cool. Did you. Did you. I read for Home Alone. Like, I drove in and auditioned, and that was actually good, to Mr. B's point. Like, it was pre pan, believe it or not.

[Chris Parnell]

I know, I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Crazy pre pan.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I drove to the casting agent and read for it. And it was one of those situations where I wasn't right for the part I was reading for, but they gave me a different part. But I don't think, for some reason I'm like, you need to be in the room with them to be like, I think they might be better for this. I feel like if it's on a tape, you're just watching a clip, you're like, nah, right. Like, it was better. Mr. B style.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you. Were you offered that?

[Chris Parnell]

I think I was, yeah. But I Honestly don't remember.

[Pete Holmes]

It's really cool. I mean, like, I'm. I'm just being grateful for your life.

[Chris Parnell]

I'm being grateful because your life has been rough.

[Pete Holmes]

My life is rough? No, no, no, it's. It. I like any opportunity to remember how special it is. Like the kid that was mad that he didn't get into that piece of shit theater company, the Alley, you know, now can't remember. Like it would have been either. Or like maybe you read for it. Or maybe they just called and offered you a part in a movie.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

That's something to be grateful for, right?

[Chris Parnell]

It is. It absolutely is.

[Pete Holmes]

It makes me feel nice just to think about it for you.

[Chris Parnell]

That's so sweet. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, you've come a long way.

[Chris Parnell]

I have, I have. And. And hopefully still have a ways to go.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, you're done.

[Chris Parnell]

I'm done.

[Pete Holmes]

You're done.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, geez.

[Pete Holmes]

Val and I were just left. Oatly has that campaign you maybe have seen around town. They're not a sponsor, although they would be. I love oatly. All right. Oatley.com. weird. It won't get you anywhere, but they have this campaign with frequently asked questions about Oatly. It says stuff like, if I drink oatly, can I drink other kinds of milk? Or like, they're stupid questions. Yeah, but one of them says, if I drink oatly, am I done? I thought that was so funny because especially in la, so many of us are driving around going like, am I done? Like, was it the outlet? You're absolutely not done. How ridiculous. I feel like it's almost like you, you're 55.

[Chris Parnell]

55.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel like you've always meant to be 55. You know what I mean? Like, I watched, like I said these clips and you made sense as a young man, but you make a lot more sense as a 55 year old.

[Chris Parnell]

You might be right. You might be right.

[Pete Holmes]

I think. But what I'm saying is it's like this is the prime. Like you've reached your cruising altitud. Like that's the Chris bar. Now when you're talking about being a little like a teenager in plays, I'm like, I can't even picture this guy, you being in plays as a kid because you were always meant to be a grown up. Like you're a perfect grown up.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, yeah, hopefully. I don't know about perfect, but yeah, it does feel like, you know, I've hopefully passed this sort of middle ground where maybe now I'll be cast as more dads and things like that. Absolutely. I've got this. I'm gonna pitch a little movie called Senior Year. It's coming out on Netflix on May 13th.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I think you're gonna pitch it to me. I'll write it.

[Chris Parnell]

No, no, no. I guess that's not a pitch. I guess I'm just gonna.

[Pete Holmes]

You're pitching a movie to the. Yeah, to the listeners.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. I play Rebel Wilson's dad, which might be a little unbelievable, but. Yeah, but, yeah, it's like. It's like more of a dramatic part. It's a comedy, for sure, but I get to do a little more sort of serious stuff. Which would you do?

[Pete Holmes]

An Aussie. Isn't she Aussie?

[Chris Parnell]

She is, but I am just American.

[Pete Holmes]

You almost said regular, but I'm just normal.

[Chris Parnell]

I'm just decent.

[Pete Holmes]

So it's called Senior Year.

[Chris Parnell]

Senior Year.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Chris Parnell]

Rebel Wilson and Gallery Rice.

[Pete Holmes]

Does she have to, like, go back? I'll tell you what it's about based on the title, okay? They find her transcripts, okay? So it's something unusual. The NSA wants to hire her. And she did go to college, and she graduated, but they look at her file and they're like, I'm sorry, but you didn't finish your senior year of high school. And she goes, crikey. And then I go, this is absurd, but J. Edgar Hoover is here. It's a period piece, and it's a period piece. And I know he worked for the FBI, but he's here at the nsa, and he's saying you have to go to high school just for your senior year. One year of high school. And. And all of the people that bullied her, their kids are now there, and she has to, like, learn about herself.

[Chris Parnell]

That is exactly it.

[Pete Holmes]

I knew it. What is it really about?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, we see her when she's in high school, and she's played by Angauri Rice, this amazing young actor also from Australia, and she is, like a cheerleader, cheer captain and all this. And she, because of something that happens, goes into a coma, and then she wakes up, I think, 20 years later. And so I play her father both when she's a young lady, a younger lady, and now as an adult lady. Okay. Yeah. And so it's sort of.

[Pete Holmes]

So she has to go to senior year.

[Chris Parnell]

She wants to go back. She doesn't have to. She really wants to. She really wants to go back and finish the senior year and all of that, that she didn't get to finish.

[Pete Holmes]

I think it's a great idea. I'M not just saying that because it has that twinge of, like, why didn't I think of that? Like, it's so simple. I didn't pitch this movie, but somebody told me about a movie. It was right when Will was in old school. You just got him on my mind. Somebody was like, had this movie script going around where it's a baby is left on the door at the door of a frat house. So the baby is raised by fraternities.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And now it's Will who still lives in the frat house, but he's never not known anybody other than frat boys. It's called Frat Boy, which is like. I was like, that's a perfect movie.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

How did that not get made?

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I want to see frat boy. Or I'm sure it. You hear those ideas. They probably got all the way up to dress rehearsal and then funding fell out or whatever. I know, but I'm actually trying to compliment senior year because those ideas that are simple, you know, like that, but have that. There's a. There's an engine to it. I'm like, I get it. Rebel Wilson has to go through her senior year.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

After 20 years in the combo, I got it.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. Well, I mean, it took a while to get it made. I think it took a while. And then it was, I think, the rewrites of Brandon. Brandon. I can't remember Brandon's last name. He's an actor and a very talented writer. He. And he's in the movie. Sorry, Brandon, I can't remember your last name. Brandon Jones Frazier.

[Pete Holmes]

And I think it's Brendan.

[Chris Parnell]

Brendan Fraser. But Brandon's hilarious. I mean, and I think it was his. His take on the script that really got it made.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, Brandon. Question mark. Question mark, Question mark.

[Chris Parnell]

He's in Ghosts. He's in this CBS series, Ghosts. He plays the. The old timey English. Early. Early American.

[Pete Holmes]

Katie's on it. She's gonna find it.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't you worry.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What was I just gonna. Chris, what was I just gonna say?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, you were gonna say Brandon Scott Jones.

[Pete Holmes]

Brandon Scott Jones.

[Chris Parnell]

There you go. That's it.

[Pete Holmes]

I love that. Senior year on the netflix.com.

[Chris Parnell]

Netflix.Com have to do the dot com. May 13th. Well, I don't think you do, but you can.

[Pete Holmes]

Have you ever almost died?

[Chris Parnell]

I don't think so.

[Pete Holmes]

Really?

[Chris Parnell]

I don't think so.

[Pete Holmes]

Even as a kid?

[Chris Parnell]

I don't think so. I mean, I was. I was floundering in a pool once, but my dad got me you know, that's close.

[Pete Holmes]

And that must have been a bonding moment.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, it was more of a frustration because he let me flounder for a bit because I think in his mind, and that was.

[Pete Holmes]

That was Mr. B style.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, tough love. Yeah, exactly. It was exactly. I was like, no, Dad, I can't actually swim out here. So he. He got me. So I was never like, really? I was never gulping water.

[Pete Holmes]

I understand.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But you remember it.

[Chris Parnell]

I do, I do, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I remember. I remember being on a rock water slide and I was really, like, old enough to realize this rock water slide is very dangerous. It wasn't a real water slide.

[Chris Parnell]

It was just like creek or something.

[Pete Holmes]

It was going down a fast creek, basically towards a ledge. And I was like, I don't think I can stop myself. And I was like, dad, dad. And he was, you know, holding a Heineken light and he was chatting to this other guy. And I remember just being like. He doesn't seem to be registering how serious this is.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then at the last moment, he, of course, he bent down and scooped me up. It was fine. But I was like, mad at him.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

For not communicating. Like, I hear you, I see you. I'm gonna get you. But as a parent, you might appreciate this. Lila was listening to the Hot Potato song.

[Chris Parnell]

The Wiggles.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Maybe it was the Wiggle.

[Chris Parnell]

Hot potato, hot Potato.

[Pete Holmes]

It's about like, if you have the hot potato, you're out.

[Chris Parnell]

I don't. Well, that may be a different song.

[Pete Holmes]

This might have been it. What? Leela. I don't think Leela understands what. Where music comes from. Because she'll. Let's say she's playing with a telephone and a combination. She'll be like, play the Telephone Combs song. And like, what we'll do is we just tell Alexa or Siri, play the Telephone Combs song. And often there is one that's really weird, which is gonna give us her this really unrealistic idea of what music is like. If you're doing something, they'll make a song about it. She thinks it's probably being made for her in the moment, which is really cute. But she put on the Hot Potato song for some reason. And it was like, if you're holding the hot potato when the song is on, you are out. Now go sit down. Hot potato, hot potato, hot potato. Like, it's like that.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But there's like a two second pause when you're out.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was listening to it. I was like, if you were going to do this song. It's an old song. If you were going to do this song today for our kids age, it would be like, you are out. Sorry, buddy. Big feelings.

[Chris Parnell]

It's.

[Pete Holmes]

You're frustrated and you're mad. Like there'd be like a 30 minute coping period and then the song would be like, okay, let's continue playing while holding Jeremy in our hearts. You know, like we're. It's just not. It's not as harsh nearly as it used to be. It's a bit more padded with dads keeping their kids in pools and scooping us up at the last moment.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, I understand it is.

[Pete Holmes]

What about. Have you ever seen a ghost? You seem like a guy that would see a ghost once in a while.

[Chris Parnell]

Never seen a ghost. I don't, I don't believe in ghosts.

[Pete Holmes]

No ghosts.

[Chris Parnell]

No ghosts for me.

[Pete Holmes]

So people that see ghosts, just. They were.

[Chris Parnell]

There's things in their liars.

[Pete Holmes]

I believe, like I make it incendiary. You know, they're a liar.

[Chris Parnell]

You're calling them liars. That's. That's the right approach. I mean, look, there's. There's certainly, you know, things out there we don't understand, but spirits of people staying on. I don't know. I just, I don't. That doesn't make sense to me.

[Pete Holmes]

So it's probably that belief serves you. If you're staying in. I'm always in like Austin. And they're always like, you know, this room is haunted. You'd just be like, yeah, no. And just go to bed.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, I think so.

[Pete Holmes]

See, there's an upside to your belief system.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Old Petey stays up when I open sort of thing the whole night waiting.

[Chris Parnell]

For a child, saying it wouldn't affect me. I'm not saying there's not a part of me that would be superstitious and would be like. I mean, I think I might have some response to that, but I think deep down I don't believe it enough to like. Really?

[Pete Holmes]

I know what you mean. Yeah, I understand. I've hosting the show. I've heard some really, really great ghost stories.

[Chris Parnell]

Have you seen a ghost?

[Pete Holmes]

I've never seen a ghost except the ghost of my cat. I know that sounds ridiculous, but when I go visit my mom and my dad is also there, I'll sleep in my old bed. This is a long time ago. I don't do that anymore. Pro tip hotels. Hotels are good for everybody.

[Chris Parnell]

Airbnb.

[Pete Holmes]

It's really. Yeah. Just don't, don't stay there.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, I still do when it's just me. I do.

[Pete Holmes]

If it's just me, I'll do it for one night or maybe two nights. But not. Not any more than that. I don't. Even if it's just me, it's a little too much. But if it's me and Val. And me, Val and Lela, I'm like, we're gonna say elsewhere. But when I would sleep in that bed, it would be not just once. It would be every time I sleep there in the morning, the ghost of my cat Clem, exactly his weight, exactly how he moved. He'd jump up on the bed and curl up and sleep with. And I'd be awake and I'd. I'd just be like, don't move. Don't scare the ghost cat.

[Chris Parnell]

Wow.

[Pete Holmes]

So it was like a regular occurrence, and Clem did die somewhat traumatically in that bed. Or not in that bed, but in that house.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Okay. So no ghosts. We're back.

[Chris Parnell]

No ghosts.

[Pete Holmes]

You peed. And I chewed minty gum, but I still feel kind of blocked up. It's okay.

[Chris Parnell]

I'm sorry.

[Pete Holmes]

No good. Anything you can explain that's happened in your life, a good example would be like a psychic said, chris, in two days, you're going to be surrounded by beautiful ladies, and you're like, finally, something like that.

[Chris Parnell]

You know, what comes to mind is something. When I was a kid, I was in my bedroom at our first house, and I have a memory of, like, these lights going by outside my bedroom window. And I feel like there was a sound associated with it. And I. I went outside to see what it was, and I never knew. And. And I don't know if it was a car driving down the street, but it looked like it was right outside my window. Like a toy of some kind going by my window with sounds. And I have no idea what it was.

[Pete Holmes]

Like a drone kind of thing. Like a little ufo?

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah, but. Yeah, but more like fire engine kind of lights or something, you know, interesting. But. Yeah. I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you. I think it's so interesting that UFOs have broken into. Like they're real.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And we're all just like, what are you having for lunch?

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't care at all.

[Chris Parnell]

I know it's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a strange thing. It's just like. Because part of me still like, are they real? I mean, but it seems like we got this evidence now.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, it seems like they are.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

For real. For real.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is Crazy. I think, though, if the CIA or whatever released evidence that there are ghosts, like there are other dimensions.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

With alternate realities overlaying on ours, that would be a bigger revelation than, like, spacecraft. That seems to defy the laws of physics as we know it.

[Chris Parnell]

Maybe. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because it would be like.

[Chris Parnell]

It's right here. It's immediate.

[Pete Holmes]

It's here and it's. And I think people like ghost because it speaks to some sort of afterlife or like a soul.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, sure.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. Right, yeah. Do you. Where are you at with all that stuff? Now I'm interested. You were raised Baptist.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I always thought the Baptists don't drink. That's not a thing.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. I mean, in general, they don't. No.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Chris Parnell]

But I think, you know, probably many of them do.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. But it's not like it's not part of their culture. Like.

[Chris Parnell]

No.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, Catholics drink wine. It's, like, part of it. It's. Actually, I've said this before, but wine is the beverage of Christianity. Coffee is the beverage of Islam. Like, different. Tea is obviously Buddhism. Like, there are different drinks for different religions, which is very interesting.

[Chris Parnell]

It is.

[Pete Holmes]

But where are you at now? I don't know if, you know, we always talk about that. Do you have any framework for the universe?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, I'm an atheist, A heratheist.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you're happy about it? Like a her atheist or a yatheist.

[Chris Parnell]

It took a long, long time to. It took me a long time to get there, but once I sort of came to the realization for myself that. That Jesus was not the son of God, but just a great teacher who had this amazing message of love and forgiveness, that if we just held on to that, that was. That was the main thing. But he didn't rise from the dead. He wasn't born of a virgin. And so that's, you know, of course, the cornerstone of Christianity.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Parnell]

You take that away and, I don't know, just everything made sense then. For me, it's like, oh, yeah, okay. This is how all these religions of the world co. You know, they all have their kind of different version of God and these different rules and laws and things, some of which overlap. But how can they all be right? And why would I think mine was right? And.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you were born into it.

[Chris Parnell]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So those are good questions.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then how did you get to that? You sort of alluded that it was a long process.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, I started questioning, I guess, really in high school. But, you know, I.

[Pete Holmes]

Was there an event that spurred that.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, it was about it wasn't even. No, it wasn't even just in high school. It was. It was the idea of hell that I found very hard to wrap my mind around. The idea of, you know, this is Old Testament hell, a place of eternal torment where the worm dies. Not, you know, your body never dies. It just suffers unspeakable torment for eternity. And so I remember lying in bed and trying to envision that I was saved, but I got saved again. First time I did it was in kindergarten. I went forward in a chapel service, and then I did it again in the bathtub by myself, because I was so scared that maybe I hadn't done it right when I was in kindergarten. But. Yeah. And I just. It was just so. There was no end to it. You know, you can't conceive of eternity. And so that stuck with me. And then the idea of proselytizing. We're supposed to go out and share the word of God with other people and try to get them to convert to Christianity. Because if you believe that somebody who doesn't accept Christ as their Lord and savior is going to suffer eternity in a lake of fire, you got to try to help them. Right. You know, and.

[Pete Holmes]

Which doesn't make it not awkward.

[Chris Parnell]

No, no, Exactly. And it never. It never set well with me. I was never. I was never good at it.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, when I saw the movie Liar, Liar. Remember, he can't lie, obviously. I know you know that, but, like, when I watched that, I was, you know, a Christian, and I was like, I wish I had that. So you could ask me, do you really believe that everyone goes to hell? So I could. So I could find out if I really believed it. That's what I took from that movie. And I think that was the beginning of an inkling of, like, I remember I've said this before, but Kurt Cobain, obviously, famously died when I was in high school. And I was like, you think Kurt Cobain's soul right now is being tortured? And, like, that's just a lot.

[Chris Parnell]

Sure.

[Pete Holmes]

To try to consider. And then obviously, you know, in that George Carlin sort of way, weigh that against the idea that God is love. And you're like, I don't. Why would you rig the system.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

In a way that you're. There's a way. Like, wouldn't it be more compassionate to not have that be an option?

[Chris Parnell]

Sure.

[Pete Holmes]

And then people in my church will always be like it was because God loves justice, and God values your free will, your ability to deny him. And I'm like, well, Great. But, like, you can keep that. Like, I'd rather you disrespect my free will and not torture me forever. You know what I'm saying?

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. It's like this God of love has created a structure where if you don't accept his son as your Lord and Savior, you will suffer for eternity. And that's the. That's worse, obviously, than anything any human can do to another human.

[Pete Holmes]

Right?

[Chris Parnell]

It's peanuts.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, there's a. There's a great book. I always plug it whenever I can called Love Wins. And it's like the things that you do in a finite period of time. Let's say you live 80 years, right? And most of humanity lived, like, 40, 50 years. You know, like, we're now. We're 80, 90, 100. But, like, so what you do in 50, 60 years. And we can even trim 10 off, because for the first 10, I believe most churches have that doctrine of, like, you're not accountable until a certain age. So stuff that you do in 40 years is judged with an attorney. It's like the most unbalanced system that I've ever. It's insane that I've ever seen. And when I. Even when I look at the way energy moves in our universe, nothing is just, like, endlessly tortured. Everything is. And I'm using religious language, but I'm just talking about our reality. Everything is redeemed. Meaning you're made of an exploding star. That's a type of redemption. What was dead is reborn. And you and I will die, and those atoms will be reborn. Our matter, our carbon, will be reborn. The whole planet could explode, and that planet will not go to waste. So I see a forgiving and gracious universe. I'm not saying terrible things don't happen, and I'm not trying to anthropomorphize that and say there's a God somewhere that's pulling levers with kindness or anger in his heart. I'm saying the system we're in, as confusing as it can be, doesn't do what we're talking about. I see rain that falls on thorns and roses. You know what I'm saying? And Jesus even says that. He says the rain falls on the just and the unjust. And rain is a good thing when you're living in the desert of Jerusalem. So he's saying, blessings, go on. Everything. How we turn that into believe this or burn is very confusing. And there's actually not a lot in the Bible. I really feel like a lot of that has to do With Greek mythology, Hades, Dante. We didn't have this understanding of hell until Dante came along. You won't find a ton of it in the Bible itself, but we like it. There's something that we like. We don't want a football game where both teams win. We want the winners to win, and we want. Winners only exist because there are losers. So it's a real ego trip to be like, we're in and they're out. But when you have the compassionate heartbreak that you did, which is like, wait, you're in your bathtub afraid of love? This is what always happens when I talk to atheists. It's almost always out of this really compassionate place of, like, I just can't accept that that would be what's going on here.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. It just. It just never made sense.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

So, I mean, I continue to sort of question internally, not so much externally, but to myself as I went through high school and then went to church in high school some, but I think less and less than. I didn't go to church in college at all.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

And. And it wasn't until I got to LA that it sort of all gelled for me.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you meet other people that were having similar journeys and, you know, I.

[Chris Parnell]

I don't know that I did. There was. There was a man who was taught composition at School of the Arts who was a believer, and he would sometimes ask me, how's your faith? Because he knew I was. He would, you know, I would pray before my meals in the cafeteria, and. And we would talk about it some. And he was, you know, a lovely, lovely guy. And. And then I remember. I don't know if it was him or somebody else recommending CS Lewis, Surprised by Joy, which talks about his journey with Christianity, but I think by the time I read that, I was. I was pretty. I was pretty doubtful.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. What flavor is that book? Is it very like, stay in the church, be a Christian, or is it more.

[Chris Parnell]

It's been a while since I've read it, but the gist, as I remember it, is, here's why you should believe. I mean, for all of these reasons that. That, you know, now make sense to me.

[Pete Holmes]

I see.

[Chris Parnell]

You know. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It was like a Persuasion. So this guy is like, read it because it'll help you stay on the path.

[Chris Parnell]

Exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

It wasn't. Read it because there's other types of believers or there are people that don't necessarily. I'm thinking of Julia Sweeney, who did this podcast, who's obviously famously an atheist, but she goes to church.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's really interesting to me. She. I believe she goes to a Unitarian church, but still is an atheist, but likes the community. And I think she enjoys thinking about big questions of the universe and as I said, looking how energy moves in the universe. To me it's interesting. We need these metaphors when it comes to the virgin birth and the physical death and resurrection of Christ. I'm sort of, I don't know, like, I can't say either way if it literally happened. But I do know that there's certain things that. That evokes like feelings that. That evokes as a story. You could say in the same way that other myths might not be true, but they evoke a feeling. My feeling with the resurrection is I think we're all resurrected in the same way. That meaning your energy is dispersed and goes back into its source. And that if I said that to my 15 year old self, I would have been like, well enjoy the lake of fire, motherfucker. I would have said it under my breath. But anyway. Do you feel so don't let me put words in your mouth, but I'm totally with you. No old man in the sky pulling the levers. But we're still in this like, right, like this appears to be happening reality.

[Chris Parnell]

You mean you and me?

[Pete Holmes]

I mean this here, right now.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Life is happening.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you, without a God, do you feel like there is like an essential irreducible nature to the universe? Like could you strip this down to its smallest component and that component would just be being. Is there any, any sort of flowing energy feelings in you? Or is it just a cosmic mistake, a cosmic accident?

[Chris Parnell]

Probably, but I don't even know if it's an accident. I think if you. I think there is somehow a tendency for, for life to come about and you know, just with, you know, as things go from this state to this state to this state, somehow they progress, it seems like, and you, you get these molecules that can then become a form of life and you know, on and on from there. But I mean in terms of the universe, I mean, I just. I see. I guess I would, I would think of like whatever the ultimate smallest particle is or wave is, you know, which I don't even think we know what it is. But yeah, that's, that's how I would see it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like a God idea. Like a, or not a God idea. How you would see what, How I.

[Chris Parnell]

Would see the universe. I mean, I don't, I don't see any, I don't really see any spiritual aspect to it. I just think it's there and it's what it is. And it's beautiful and it's amazing and it's extraordinary. And there's. There's much to take from that. And I. And I'm not saying spirituality is wrong or that should exist.

[Pete Holmes]

You're in a safe space. Nobody's going to be like, Parnell shits on spirit. You're in a very safe space. So don't worry about that. And then, like, I think about this too, with the Big Bang. So that was. I mean, nobody knows, right? I'm always trying to make this point that if you thought, I think it was God or it was nothing, it was a very similar idea.

[Chris Parnell]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Because God is no thing. It's not a thing. It's. It's a. It's something we can't understand.

[Chris Parnell]

That's.

[Pete Holmes]

That's one. A very liberal definition of God. Not a man in the sky, but something we don't understand. And nothing is something we don't understand because there is no nothing.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We don't have nothing. Like, you can't show me nothing, Right. We have evidence of the existence of nothing like a zero in the equation of the universe, but we don't have it.

[Chris Parnell]

Right?

[Pete Holmes]

So either way, we either have nothing erupting or God erupting. It's very similar. Something we don't know is doing something we know, not what, like.

[Chris Parnell]

Sure.

[Pete Holmes]

Right, sure. We don't know what's going on. This is. Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, Isaac. Isaac Asimov has a great short story called the Last Question. And the question keeps getting asked. I'm going to mess it up. What happens at the end of the universe? Or what is the end of entropy? And it keeps getting asked over and over. And as it's being asked by, like, kids, computers progress until. In spaceships progress until, you know, they're like asking their computer at home and then not enough data is the response. And then they ask their much more complex computer on the, on their spaceship or whatever, not enough data. And it keeps going on and on until computers are no longer something that we hold in our hands. They, like, sort of exist in, you know, at a molecular level, out in the universe or whatever. And finally somebody or something or some part of the. The computer, quote, unquote, ask the question. And at that point, entropy of the universe has happened. Everything, all the light, everything's gone. And. And then the answer is, let there be light. It's like, then the. Then the universe is reborn because the.

[Pete Holmes]

Because this is good.

[Chris Parnell]

The Computer of the universe has finally gathered enough data to figure out the answer and to produce the answer.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. I love that I knew you were a Sci Fi guy and I love that answer.

[Chris Parnell]

I haven't done it justice, obviously, but are you kidding?

[Pete Holmes]

I love that I ask these questions every episode and I got the chills.

[Chris Parnell]

When you were talking.

[Pete Holmes]

I think that's so cool. But the idea. Ray Kurzweil, the futurist who coined the term the singularity, he has that quote. He goes, does God exist? I would say not yet. So that's that really interesting idea. But what you're doing is kind of making it a looper thing where it's like this. But this is just another thought experiment, another myth, another thing that might not be literally exactly what happens, but it's such a fun way to think that, like, maybe God as we, the creator, the thing that created the universe, is actually what we make by the. And we'll have enough time by the time the Big Crunch, I believe it's called. So there's the Big Crunch, and the universe ends, but this thing has been uploaded into the molecules of it and it reboots itself. But we made it. But it's like. Which happened first. It's really fun.

[Chris Parnell]

It is. It's an amazing story.

[Pete Holmes]

But yeah, I love it because when I see that, as in the story of Adam and Eve is like, you can look at it, that they ate the apple, that they were bad, or it was us opting into the system of duality, the tree of good and evil. Like we had a hand in it.

[Chris Parnell]

It was the tree of the knowledge.

[Pete Holmes]

The tree of the knowledge, Right, exactly. So they were in a. They were in a non. Dual place where there was no good and there was no evil. And then we came into this place we chose to be here. I find that sort of comforting. But I also think, who are we? Even from a materialist standpoint, we are this. You know what I mean? We're made of this.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Like we belong here.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And. And there's something dignified about that.

[Chris Parnell]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

I really like that.

[Val]

So dead over.

[Pete Holmes]

We think death is the end, sadly.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah. I mean, I hope I'm wrong.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

You know, I hope there's an afterlife and. And, you know, we are the reincarnation or something, but I just don't have any reason to believe there is.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

Personally, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, I had that bit about. I just want to see what he says is the reason I don't find an afterlife preposterous. Although, to quote Rupert Spira. I think everything is consciousness, which is water. If you think of consciousness being water, like, awareness itself being water, I'm like a whirlpool. Pete is a whirlpool underwater, sucking everything down. Sucking everything down and ruining everything. Killing people. No, no. But, like, if you see, like, a little tornado underwater, it's made of water, so it's just consciousness, but it has the appearance of Pete. That's what I am. I'm a movement. I'm activity in the one mind.

[Chris Parnell]

Consciousness.

[Pete Holmes]

And then when I die, that whirlpool pool dissipates into the water, so it hasn't gone anywhere.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

And then he. He made this point that, like, there's nothing to say that, like, another whirlpool couldn't form in that same area of the same water and have another life. Like, that could be reincarnation, but either way, it's all just one thing thinging itself, and, like, nothing's going anywhere.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm sort of to. So when I say an afterlife, I don't mean white robes, although I'm open to anything. White robes and walking around and being like, hey, Chris, remember when we talked about this?

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, my God, this is nuts.

[Pete Holmes]

That would be hilarious. I think it's much more likely that there's not necessarily a memory of this life, but it just keeps. It keeps doing itself. And the evidence for that potential is this meaning. And this is just a joke, but I'd love to see what it makes you think when we say an afterlife is preposterous. I agree, but so is life. Like, it's crazy that this exists. So this is evidence that things that don't make any sense and that are miraculous, that we can't really understand meaning consciousness happen.

[Chris Parnell]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

So that lends itself to the idea that there might be more things that we don't understand.

[Chris Parnell]

Sure. I guess my take on that is we. Maybe we don't understand the. The very fine details of it, but I feel like we, science does have an idea of how consciousness happens and. And how that comes into existence, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

You mean evolutionarily?

[Chris Parnell]

Evolutionarily.

[Pete Holmes]

I think they can tell us when it showed up.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, but also, just even, you know, in the physics, in the development of a, you know, how the eggs and the sperm come together and. And eventually that. That little being has human brain waves, and then it, you know, becomes human thought, right? Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But the thing that hears the thought, like the awareness that is the background of all thoughts and all experience, I think does remain a mystery. Meaning if someone had the, like a theory on human consciousness, like broke it and could reproduce it. That would be, that would be page one news right there.

[Chris Parnell]

Sure, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. But, you know. Yeah, I don't know. I, I'm, I'm not sure that we won't get to the point where, you know, we do computers have a sort of consciousness, you know, the AI thing. I think it's a, it's a long time off and maybe it never will, you know, but.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, according to Kurzweil, it's 2054, I believe.

[Chris Parnell]

Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So take our vitamins. We'll get to see a robot crush our own skulls.

[Chris Parnell]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't it funny that that's like as a sci fi person, that is like the, that's been the most foregone conclusion of all time is that like, we will make robots. We will give them consciousness. We will program in fail safes. They will overwrite those fail safes. They will enslave us. Like we've known that in the same way that you see it in nature. It's like the survival of the fittest or the predator that is the strongest dominates everything. And we're currently, like, I was watching the WeWork documentary. After we finished, we crashed, we watched the documentary and the guy, the, the main fun massa son or something like.

[Chris Parnell]

That, I don't remember.

[Pete Holmes]

He's. He's SoftBank. He's the CEO of SoftBank. So he's the most money in the world. He's the one of the biggest proponents for funding the Singularity. And I'm like, this is Terminator 2. You're, you're miles Bennett Dyson. You're the guy that's like, we need to give a trillion dollars to the people that are going to make the thing that, that every creative mind through all of history has been like, that's how it works. If you make a lion, the lion will eat us. And we're like, we gotta fund this lion initiative that we got to.

[Chris Parnell]

I know, I know it. I mean there's clearly there are a lot of people out there asking these questions in, in the world of AI and, and, and rightly so. Yeah. I mean, you know, it's like we want, we want to have more complex computers to do more things for us and robots that can take care of the certain mundane tasks.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Chris Parnell]

But yeah, it's, it's. Where, where does that stop, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, hopefully we'll get to see that and then we'll be in like regular Looney Tunes heaven eating Ambrosia being like, I can't believe the real God was Mormon Jesus.

[Chris Parnell]

It was Mormon Jesus and the streets are gold.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, thanks, man. This has been really great. Is there anything we didn't cover that you were hoping we would cover?

[Chris Parnell]

I guess not. I don't, I don't think so.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, well, we didn't really talk much about when you were an English teacher. Was there any highlight from that?

[Chris Parnell]

Well, I was, I was the.

[Pete Holmes]

I was drama.

[Chris Parnell]

Drama. I was. I taught Intro to Action and Introduction to Film and Video.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. And did you like it or were you like, I gotta get the out of here.

[Chris Parnell]

Mostly the latter.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

I, I, I liked working with all the kids who stuck around after school to be involved with the theater department and the television department. Those are, like, really dedicated kids who had tasks and jobs and responsibilities.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Chris Parnell]

The classroom stuff, for the most part, I did not enjoy. I was very young, and I wasn't ready to be Mr. Parnell or an authority figure, and I wasn't good at maintaining discipline in the classroom, and I just felt kind of inadequate, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I, I can completely relate.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't imagine being like, you're staying after class, Johns. Jasper Johns was in your family. Yeah, but, yeah, that's, that makes perfect sense. Well, I'm glad you got out, and I'm glad you're getting offered movies, and you can't even remember if they were offered to you, which is such a great sign of success. You did it. You made it. Amazing. The last question we always ask is, can you think of a time in your life we open by talking about how good you are at not laughing. But when have you laughed so hard you were crying, falling over on the floor? Maybe you were a kid, maybe it was at snl, maybe with some other project. But when you think about laughing really, really, really, really hard. Where are you? How old are you? What happened?

[Chris Parnell]

I was. I think I was a young adult. And it was Spinal Tap. It was watching Spinal Tap. And when the Stonehenge set comes down and, oh, how they dance, the people of Stonehenge or something, just that all coming together. I mean, it just destroyed me. And I don't even know if it was the first time I saw it, but I just, just. I remember that being a moment where I was just laughing so, so hard because.

[Pete Holmes]

So Beck Bennett, you. It's almost like Hank Azaria is sort of a U type.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Wouldn't you say?

[Chris Parnell]

I don't know. Is he.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't Hankazaria the bass player? In Final Tap. Oh, no, no, no.

[Chris Parnell]

Harry.

[Pete Holmes]

Harry Sheer.

[Chris Parnell]

Harry Shearer. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I up. Harry Shearer seems like a a U type, then a back type. I'm just saying, this is. This is a type in comedy. We don't want, like, a wacky, floppy, sweaty guy like me being Harry Shearer in that movie. You want Chris Parnell. You want, like, a serious guy.

[Chris Parnell]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Or that can play like. I don't know. You're. You're. You'll always be in demand. Because I feel like out of comedians, there's so many more loud. I was the loud guy in my improv team. There's so few you. So I'm not surprised that you keep getting plucked up and will continue to be.

[Chris Parnell]

Well, that's very kind, Pete, but you can do. You can do all of it, you know.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, you don't have to.

[Chris Parnell]

You can't get the shit out of here.

[Pete Holmes]

No. You know, it's funny. There are certain things that, like, I really think you gotta go crispy. Which is funny because we end the show. Ever since I've wanted to have you on the show, people have actually told me that we have to do this. So we end the show by saying, keep it crispy.

[Val]

The guest says it, huh?

[Chris Parnell]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

And we. For 10 years now, we're like, if Chris Parnell ever does it, we're gonna ask him to say, keep it Chris P. Okay. Like your name.

[Chris Parnell]

All right.

[Pete Holmes]

And if you would bless us with a keep it crispy. That'll be the first and only time we've accepted a derivative of keep it crispy. All right, let's go ahead.

[Chris Parnell]

Thanks for having me, Pete.

[Pete Holmes]

Heavenly fun. Here we go.

[Chris Parnell]

Keep it Chris P.

[Pete Holmes]

I've been waiting 10 years. Thank you so much, Chris. What a lovely chat.

[Chris Parnell]

Thank you.