Christian Duguay

Summary

Podcast Summary: You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes – Episode Featuring Christian Dugay

Introduction

In this engaging episode of You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes, released on March 19, 2025, host Pete Holmes welcomes comedian Christian Dugay to discuss a myriad of topics ranging from their shared love for the innovative Valley Heat podcast to deep dives into comedy, personal experiences, and philosophical musings.

1. Valley Heat Podcast: A Shared Passion

Pete opens the conversation by expressing his admiration for the Valley Heat podcast, describing it as his favorite and proclaiming it the best thing of 2025. He shares anecdotes about how every person he recommends the podcast to appreciates it, emphasizing its unique and humorous style.

Pete Holmes [00:15]: "Every single person I've turned onto this podcast has written me a handwritten thank you note. That's an exaggeration, but it is."

He then plays a clip from Valley Heat, featuring Christian Dugay, which sets the tone for their discussion.

2. Christian Dugay’s Comedy and Career

Christian Dugay delves into his journey in comedy, detailing his brief stint on MADtv and his time with The Groundlings. He candidly shares his struggles and the challenges of fitting into established comedic institutions.

Christian Dugay [78:25]: "I was there briefly. It really wasn't a fun time for me, really. Just... wasn't ready for that level."

Christian also discusses his work on Valley Heat, explaining the improvisational nature of the show and how it intertwines with his personal life and therapy.

3. Improvisation and the Art of Comedy

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the craft of improvisational comedy. Pete and Christian compare their approaches, highlighting Christian's ability to remain authentic without sounding like he's performing a bit.

Pete Holmes [13:17]: "I think I'm like... you never sound like you're doing a bit, even if it's completely ridiculous."

They explore the dynamics of live performances versus recorded podcasts, with Pete reflecting on his own experiences in stand-up and improvisation.

4. Personal Experiences and Therapy

The conversation takes a heartfelt turn as both comedians share their experiences with therapy and personal growth. Christian discusses how his therapy sessions influenced the creation of his podcast content, blending humor with introspection.

Christian Dugay [10:09]: "It wasn't like, oh, I came up with it in therapy."

Pete touches on the importance of understanding oneself and the continuous journey of self-discovery, relating it to his own struggles and therapeutic insights.

5. Philosophical and Spiritual Musings

Pete and Christian engage in a deep philosophical dialogue about the meaning of life, consciousness, and spirituality. They ponder whether human beings can truly understand the universe or if our perceptions are inherently limited.

Pete Holmes [128:15]: "Meaning what you are before all of the ideas of what you are... the empty space of what you are is what the whole thing is."

Christian reflects on his agnostic beliefs and the challenges of grappling with existential questions, drawing parallels to their comedic work.

6. Reflections on Comedy and Life’s Absurdities

Throughout the episode, Pete and Christian adeptly blend humor with profound observations about life’s absurdities. They discuss how comedy serves as a coping mechanism for dealing with everyday struggles and deeper existential dilemmas.

Christian Dugay [110:27]: "I played video games to feel like a winner. Like, if I want to know that."

7. The Interplay Between Personal and Professional Life

Christian opens up about balancing his personal life, including his recent loss of his father, with his professional endeavors. The conversation highlights how personal experiences shape comedic material and foster deeper connections with audiences.

Pete Holmes [83:17]: "I have to get my job."

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Pete and Christian celebrating their shared comedic philosophies and the unique bond formed through their discussions. Pete reiterates his admiration for Christian’s work on Valley Heat and encourages listeners to explore the podcast for its enriching and humorous take on life's complexities.

Pete Holmes [136:39]: "Thank you so much. We have the guests say keep it crispy... Keep it crispy."

This episode of You Made It Weird offers listeners a blend of laughter, introspection, and thoughtful conversation, showcasing the depth and versatility of both Pete Holmes and Christian Dugay.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Pete Holmes [00:15]: "Every single person I've turned onto this podcast has written me a handwritten thank you note. That's an exaggeration, but it is."

• Christian Dugay [78:25]: "I was there briefly. It really wasn't a fun time for me, really. Just... wasn't ready for that level."

• Pete Holmes [13:17]: "I think I'm like... you never sound like you're doing a bit, even if it's completely ridiculous."

• Pete Holmes [128:15]: "Meaning what you are before all of the ideas of what you are... the empty space of what you are is what the whole thing is."

• Christian Dugay [110:27]: "I played video games to feel like a winner. Like, if I want to know that."

These quotes encapsulate the essence of the episode, reflecting the blend of humor and philosophical exploration that defines their conversation.

Transcript

[Pete Holmes]

You made it with.

[Christian Dugay]

You made it with. You made it with. Oh, yeah, you made it with. Yes, you made it weird. You made it weird with Pete Holmes.

[Pete Holmes]

What's happening, weirdos? I am thrilled to bring Christian Dugay onto this show. If you've been listening to this podcast over the past. Past hot pee on that one. Over the past four months, I've been talking incessantly about my favorite podcast, Valley Heat. Not only is Valley Heat my favorite podcast, I think it's the best thing of 2025. I think it started in 2024, but it's so good it's already won 2025. Every single person I've turned onto this podcast has written me a handwritten thank you note. That's an exaggeration, but it is. I'm kind of talking like Valley Heat. It's an exag. Everyone, my brother in law Derek, obviously, Val, my friend Sam. Everybody I send it to is like, thank you. It's pure hilarious, silly. I'm going to play you a clip because that's the best way to know it. We're going to play a little three minute clip here of the Valley Heat podcast and it'll give you a taste and I think that will inform how you appreciate some of our conversations. But Christian is incredible. Apart from Valley Heat, we get into that. But there is a lot of Valley Heat talk. So I want you to familiarize yourself. What am I, your professor? That's. That's a Valley Heat style joke. Anyway, familiarize yourself with the show. So, Katie, Joe, here's a little taste of Valley Heat.

[Christian Dugay]

My optometrist Dean, who is mad at me for using the car wash across the street, upsold my 15 year old son Phil on transition lenses. I don't know if you know what transition lenses are. They're those lenses that are supposed to get darker when you go outside in the sun, but they don't get real dark, they just get kind of dark and you can still see the person's eyes behind them. And no matter what the person wearing them tries to do, they always look like they're trying to spy on you from the bushes. So yesterday I walk in his bedroom and he's wearing these transition lenses that make him look like he was fired from a library somewhere for licking books or something. You know, these things just make him look super suspicious. No one should put a 15 year old kid in transition lenses. I mean, you talk about sailing someone's fate. Give a kid a chance before you turn him into a hitchhiker with mug shots. All over the country. You know, it reminds me of when parents name their kids after some jazz trumpet player or something from the 50s or 60s. You hear them at a park, you know, calling to their kids and the kids name something like Gillespie or something. That kid doesn't deserve that. You named your kid Dizzy Gillespie? Paul Simon, Garfunkel Peterson? Yeah, that's his grandfather's name. I mean, you can't let your kid find his own identity. I mean, we get it. You can have one of those really expensive analog stereos and you like jazz vinyl, but come on, no one wants to grow up named Cat Stevens Coltrane. And no one wants to look back at their yearbook picture from high school and see a guy in a pair of transition lenses. You know, you see that and you go, I guess your parents weren't looking out for you, were they? Let's just let our kids create their own personality. And let's not put them in transition lenses. And let's not name them Guns N Roses. They deserve better than either of those things. And I know why Dean did this. I don't know if you remember, but my neighbor across the street, Gary Janthony, installed a drive through car wash in his driveway and then turned his backyard into a Chicago style pizzeria and then converted the garage into an 80s style arcade. And it made a lot of people in the neighborhood really angry. But Gary asked me to drive through the car wash to show everybody that it was okay to go through the car wash. So I did it a one time favor. But Dean was so mad at me. And then Nick, my other neighbor, ran into the car wash and was screaming at me and he got burned with hot wax and sprained his shoulder on one of those brushes in those car washes. It like twisted his arm. So there's a bunch of people in the neighborhood who are mad at me for going through that car wash. And Dean is one of them. And I think my son had an appointment with him. And Dean thought this was an opportunity to get back at me and upsold them on these lenses. I walk into my son's room the other day and he's sitting at his desk looking like a guy waiting to meet his parole officer in these glasses. So I recorded it. Let me just play it for you. Hey, are those your new glasses? Are they still dark? They're a little dark. I don't.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't really know what to do because they're weird. I would.

[Christian Dugay]

I would take them off, but I.

[Pete Holmes]

Can'T see without them. So I'm stuck in this state of either being blind or weird.

[Christian Dugay]

Did you just come in from the outside? Are they still changing to clear?

[Pete Holmes]

Maybe if anything needs to get darker, I go inside.

[Christian Dugay]

You're fine. You're fine.

[Pete Holmes]

Do not pretend that I'm fine.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay? I'm not fine.

[Pete Holmes]

I look weird.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay, yeah, obviously not ideal.

[Pete Holmes]

Of course they're not ideal. Ideal would be me looking like a normal person. I look like someone who's been following you.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay, so you heard that. And he's not wrong. They look weird. And I feel bad for him. He won't go outside. His friends, he said, won't ride bikes with him.

[Pete Holmes]

All right, we're back. We're getting into it. We're going into the pod with Christian Dugay, who I was literally starstruck to sit down with him because I'm such a huge fan, obviously. So listen to this podcast. Check out Valley Heat. Join his Patreon. He's not a very big pusher of the podcast, so I will happily push it for him. You have to listen to Good Morning Burbank, which is the Patreon version of Valley Heat. A lot of those episodes are, I'm going to say, even better than Valley Heat, and you can get it for, like, a couple bucks. So go on his Patreon as well Valley Heat podcast and. And enjoy it and. And write me a handwritten thank you note when you get into it. Speaking of get into it, go to peteholmes.com for all my tour dates. All of my tour dates. They're all on there. They're all on there. It's the PG13 Tour. It's a kind of dirty, very funny comedy tour. But not filthy. Not filthy. PG 13. Enjoy it. Petehomes.com It's a new hour, so I will be going all over the place, even places I've been semi recently. So I hope you can be there. Petehomes.com all right, Valley Heat. Check it out and enjoy this podcast. Get into It. And I put this as new. This is dad Grass. Have you ever had. It's got a little bit of weed in it. It's. If you want. It's actually thc.

[Christian Dugay]

It's funny that it's called dad Grass, because I think Dad's probably the ones that get the most stoned like this.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, let's open it up. Open up the market to dads.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The most stony people. It's actually interesting. There's like, it's hemp. And you know how, like, in Amsterdam you can buy Mushrooms. But if they're truffles, like, they passed a law that you can't sell mushrooms anymore. So then they like started selling truffles. Because truffles aren't technically is boring. It's like drug theory.

[Christian Dugay]

It's not boring. You can't sell mushrooms in Amsterdam.

[Pete Holmes]

They. They stopped that. But you can still buy psilocybin on a truffle. And there's something similar going on with hemp.

[Christian Dugay]

Why can't you buy mushrooms? I don't know why.

[Pete Holmes]

They were tired of the Swedish tourists playing Grabass in the Van Gogh Museum.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, because everyone was high. But you can buy. You can buy edible. Just food mushrooms. You just can't.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. Psycho. Psychoactive mushrooms. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they outlawed those.

[Christian Dugay]

Similarly, you can't thing to outlaw with. Considering Amsterdam, I thought that it's their thing. Most things were legal there. Right?

[Pete Holmes]

Look, I've been watching, listening. It's funny that he said watching. It's such an active. You're never going to meet a bigger Valley Heat fan. I'm going to say that.

[Christian Dugay]

Thank you very much.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm going to say it.

[Christian Dugay]

That's what I was going to say watching Valley Heat. And I'm always like. My neighbor was like, I. You send it to me, but I can't. I don't see anything. And he was like a guy who definitely is not going to like this show or he's not gonna understand it this. And I was like, okay, well, it's just. It's a podcast. You listen. And then finally I could tell. He walks his dog past me and he would. I could tell he was kind of avoiding me. And I was like, this poor man. I can listen to this show.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, do you think he did listen to it? He figured it out.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, he absolutely did. He was avoiding me. And then he was like, well, so much so. Do you do any other podcasts? That's what he said. That was his review. And I was like, no, it's the one.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm dead inside. Well, can I say, though, there's.

[Christian Dugay]

He's like an older guy.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a great. I stand by Bill Cosby in every way. I'm just kidding. But there's a great Bill Cosby quote. What a. What a. What a monster. But he said the key. I don't know, the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Let's. Let's pray that he didn't say that. Maybe it was Stephen Hawking, which I don't Know who could have said it? That we'd be okay with it?

[Christian Dugay]

You really could just invent anyone who said that's true.

[Pete Holmes]

Keanu Reeves. Keanu Reeves said that.

[Christian Dugay]

I mean, he said this, and he said it to me. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I saw a quote attributed to Snoop Dogg on Facebook. I knew it wasn't him, but I wrote it on my bathroom mirror. It meant so much. And I still think it was Snoop Dogg. And it's. Don't get upset hearing something you already knew. And I think of that constantly. Like, you call your parents and they're annoying you in this way.

[Christian Dugay]

That was, like, the first thing I learned in therapy.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that right?

[Christian Dugay]

I mean, I can't believe.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. That they were in there.

[Christian Dugay]

Like, yeah. He goes, yeah, you can. And I was like, oh, I can. I can believe it. You're right.

[Pete Holmes]

I am obsessed with that. That human beings would rather. I think neutral is a very unpleasant sensation for us. So would rather be chiding and raging and being upset and knowing that you exist. Not to get too deep right away, but, like, you're real. You fucking have shit going on. Than just be like, my dad's exactly how he's been my whole life. But that's a scary place. We start to vanish in that position.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a very, like, kind of Buddhist, like. Which. I swear to fucking God, dude, you're not going to get a lot of this. Maybe.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay, go ahead.

[Pete Holmes]

But I think Doug Dugay, there's something about him and the way that he engages with life that I think is a little groovy. I won't say it's.

[Christian Dugay]

I feel like it came. That the show really came out of therapy.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that right?

[Christian Dugay]

It wasn't like, oh, I came up with it in therapy.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

But I have a really great therapist, and I've had him for probably 12 or 13 years in.

[Pete Holmes]

And he's having an affair with your neighbor.

[Christian Dugay]

What's that?

[Pete Holmes]

He's having an affair with your neighbor.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes, exactly.

[Pete Holmes]

There's gonna be a lot of Valley Heat references in this episode.

[Christian Dugay]

It's funny. Cause when I went in, like, when I first met him, he had, like, sandals on and a dog with, like, a handkerchief around his neck. And I was like, I can just talk to one of my neighbors for free. But he was.

[Pete Holmes]

You want a little circumstance?

[Christian Dugay]

He was just like, so, you know, he's in shorts and you're like, this is okay.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't even like my UPS drivers in shorts. I want a little formality out there. I do want a long pant you're out there with my packages?

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Are your balls on my packages?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, exactly. You don't want me to show up in, like, those really short jogging shorts. This is something he's doing on the way.

[Pete Holmes]

Were you just out. You were just out on a.

[Christian Dugay]

Thanks for doing this and you came to the park.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't wear shorts. I only said this on stage once and I got a laugh. And I was just like, sometimes you do a bit and you're like, that's an unrepeatable. I just. I'm not even gonna try. I can't wear shorts.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I want my daughter to respect me. That's what I said. But it just came out in this way. Like, I can't expect my daughter to listen to me if I'm wearing half my pants.

[Christian Dugay]

Right. It's true. And it's funny. Cause I used to have. I had a thing where I, for a long time, did not understand how short shorts were supposed to be.

[Pete Holmes]

How short.

[Christian Dugay]

There was a transition in like, I think like the mid-90s, where shorts started getting longer. Yeah. But I was. Had just been in the forest the whole time, and so I just came bounding out. I, like, worked for this.

[Pete Holmes]

Were you really?

[Christian Dugay]

No, I. You were in the forest? Well, I lived in Maine from, like 14 on and I worked for like, a rafting expedition company and I did videography. That's where I kind of learned how to edit, was putting those videos together. And I, I. When I left to come to la.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry, we have to step out. The fun that you learned to edit in the woods of Maine.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes. It's really the best school.

[Pete Holmes]

If you go.

[Christian Dugay]

Go into the wilderness, the trees will tell you where to. Where to cut.

[Pete Holmes]

A waterfall knows a transition. There's a waterfall transition. The first dissolve.

[Christian Dugay]

You're right. You're right.

[Pete Holmes]

That's hilarious. So you didn't. You came out of your.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, I had this thing where I had, like, really short cutoffs, like, really short.

[Pete Holmes]

Which are cool now.

[Christian Dugay]

What's that?

[Pete Holmes]

Are they cool now? I think they might be back.

[Christian Dugay]

I mean, not.

[Pete Holmes]

Not for us.

[Christian Dugay]

Me. I mean, I don't think they were ever cool on me because I feel like I came bounding out of the woods in those shorts. And I think I was with my family at Magic Mountain at one point. And like, some girls. Food just fell out of her mouth. Laughing. Something's gotta change.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, this is the 90s when the short would end, like, but almost below the knee. Like, I really horn. Like the really, like, horn pants that.

[Christian Dugay]

Are Too short is what they look like.

[Pete Holmes]

They're Capri pants.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. Or when they come down to here. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You're wearing a Capri. You're wearing, like a boat pant.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like you don't want to get the cuff of your. I'm talking, like, Valley Heat, by the way.

[Christian Dugay]

What? What? What?

[Pete Holmes]

My wife has pointed out that since becoming a rabid fan of Valley Heat, I can't stop. I. First of all, I can't do it. So with full respect.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, thanks.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't do it. In fact, I think that's the only true compliment is if I try to do what you're doing on that show. I sound like a guy who's doing a bit. You know that. That sound.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you never sound like you're doing a bit, even if it's completely ridiculous.

[Christian Dugay]

Thanks.

[Pete Holmes]

I think I'm like.

[Christian Dugay]

It's real to retake it.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that right?

[Christian Dugay]

It's important in that show that nothing sounds like a bit. And sometimes I'm never quite sure. I'm like, I'll have to cut something, anything. That's, like, pointing to the joke. But I. I'm not saying it's never there. Yeah, I definitely am trying to. To not do that.

[Pete Holmes]

Look, as a fan and one of the ways I appreciate comedy, like a magician watching another magician. So I'm not trying to catch you, but I'll say I've never once heard you do something that. Oh, he went over the line.

[Christian Dugay]

That's great.

[Pete Holmes]

And I've kind of waited for it because I'm fascinated. So what I'm saying is Valley Heat, for those. I've been mentioning it so much on this podcast.

[Christian Dugay]

Thank you. Oh, that's. You know, I meant to thank you for that.

[Pete Holmes]

No, you don't have to.

[Christian Dugay]

I heard that some people had heard about it for three.

[Pete Holmes]

We can't stop talking about it.

[Christian Dugay]

Thanks.

[Pete Holmes]

And when. Even the way we're talking right now, you. That. When I say rambling, I mean that in the best possible way. Almost Garrison Keeler. Ish. Kind of like there's like a flow to it where it's like. You know when you go to your therapist and he's wearing shorts, it's like if you put on a long pan. I'm talking. But see, I can't.

[Christian Dugay]

No, I know what you're.

[Pete Holmes]

Can't do it. But it's so natural. It's like the woods of Maine. That's what you learn. In the woods of Maine.

[Christian Dugay]

In the woods of Maine. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And when someone like me, for better or worse, I've been in the clubs and doing the jokes. Like, I've learned how to tell that. Indicate to the audience that I'm telling a joke, and you're just never doing that. But I scream. Sorry. I scream, laugh.

[Christian Dugay]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

At every episode of El He Scream. There are moments where we're covering our face and one more compliment, and then I swear I'm going to give it to you. We. It's one of those things, like, I think you should leave where you laugh when you listen to it, but then when you explain it to someone else, you cry, laughing like you can't do it. Have you gotten that particular compliment when.

[Christian Dugay]

You'Re explaining it to somebody?

[Pete Holmes]

If you try to explain Pete the pool guy's mugs to somebody, you'll just find you can't do it.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're kind of like, it's hard to explain. It's like explaining a dream or something, but you're experiencing it again. That's great in the retelling. It's almost funnier.

[Christian Dugay]

I can't tell anybody. I mean, if I try to talk to my wife Emily about it.

[Pete Holmes]

Emily, my mill.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes. She's in it. She plays Fayette. But I can't. You know, I talk about the ideas I'm having so much that all I experience is like, I really don't have time to process any more Valley Heat information.

[Pete Holmes]

I will say I've. I've worried about. Let's get. Let's not forget to talk about Doug's grooviness, because that's what we were on.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

But I have worried. There's so much in an episode of Valley Heat, it almost borders on insanity. Like, I worry. Not really, but I go like, poor Christian. I mean, like, there have been late.

[Christian Dugay]

Nights, some very late nights, but sometimes those late nights are very. Are good. And you get. You get good mistakes. I think a lot of it is recognizing good mistakes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

Like, there's certain things where I don't think I would have thought of that.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you were down to the Wire.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, no, I wish I was. I mean, I could use some down to the wire people are really. I don't. I don't make them on a schedule, which really is infuriating to see.

[Pete Holmes]

I wonder, because that's on the show. You often say, like, people are mad.

[Christian Dugay]

That I haven't do. They'll be like, one guy was like, what am I paying you for? For the Patreon or the Max Fun on Max Fun Network. What am I paying you for he goes, I love the show, but you can count me out. And I was like, count it out that I've been fired.

[Pete Holmes]

First of all, what am I paying you for? The episode I was listening to. You're one of the rare guests where I'm not listening to you for research. I would have been listening to Valley He. If you were. If it was a different guess. That's just what I listen to when I'm driving. But here I am, I'm like, oh, look, I'm doing my diligence.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it says like, you made the joke where someone says to you, you have no idea what you're into or you're in way.

[Christian Dugay]

What you're. That's my. Really is my favorite thing in a movie when they go, you have no idea what you're up against. And they will always say it and they always have. And it's clearly the writer who's like, they're up against something. Right. There's motivation here. Something's going to happen. And. But you're like, guys, we should have an idea of what he's up against. But even the character 60 minutes and we have no idea what you're up against. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, keep it vague. We saw the poster. You're In a way.

[Pete Holmes]

And then that was. The other part is that they're resisting the call, which is a mythic trope.

[Christian Dugay]

Which is. I think that it is a thing that.

[Pete Holmes]

But we're over.

[Christian Dugay]

It happens. No, I think it happens, but it is done. Well, we don't. We don't go. It's not just like, you got to go down there and avenge your son. He's like, I'm not. I don't do that anymore. Like. Well, we. We have seen the commercial. We know that you do it.

[Pete Holmes]

Obviously.

[Christian Dugay]

That's why we bought a ticket.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And you. You reference the Kate Winslet show. What was that called? It had a weird name. Two old men trying to remember the detective show. You watched it? It's.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, yeah, I love. I loved it.

[Pete Holmes]

What was it called?

[Christian Dugay]

It was like.

[Pete Holmes]

It was her name for Elise or something. What is it? Mayor of East Town. Yeah, Mayor.

[Christian Dugay]

I loved that. Mayor of east something. What was it? There was a thing.

[Pete Holmes]

They. She has to turn in her badge.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, yeah. In the middle of it.

[Pete Holmes]

I can't work on it.

[Christian Dugay]

Be so angry. It was like, okay, this is cheating. You're just cheating in an episode so that she has to go wander around the house and not know what to do with herself.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'm not kidding. I wonder if this is why you put these two rants together on the show. It's like the bridge of a song. The Kate Winslet turning in her badge is the bridge in the season of a show.

[Christian Dugay]

You're right.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the treading water.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's edging.

[Christian Dugay]

It's. What if the song wasn't good?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, what if the song wasn't good?

[Christian Dugay]

But it is good. Remember?

[Pete Holmes]

What if the song. But you know what I thought of was in welcome to paradise, the Green Day song. I don't know if you know Green Day. There's a long breakdown where they're really like just not giving it to you.

[Christian Dugay]

Really.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the bass line is. And then the like. It's like kind of solos, but not really.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Just so you can vote. Dear mother Ken. And everyone gets really excited.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, that's cool. So there's like this buildup.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a build up.

[Christian Dugay]

It's not really a anticipation.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's what Kate Winslet handing her.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the bridge of a show. And those two rants are next to each other. I'm the guy at Yale that reads too much into it. I'm like, there's a reason those turns.

[Christian Dugay]

Out to turn her badge in for structural perfection is why she turned her badge in. We need the bridge in this series.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, let's slow down because I'm really excited and I'm going to Valheat and I gave myself the note. I was like, let's ease into it. Let's talk about you.

[Christian Dugay]

I don't mind talking about it. I mean, no, I want.

[Pete Holmes]

For the audience.

[Christian Dugay]

I mean, I appreciate that. But if it's. Yeah, let's not. I mean, I bore Emily and my kids talking about ideas and really walk into the garage. I'm like, listen to this song. Or like just in.

[Pete Holmes]

Do you do the music? That is my question I have for you. You're Randy. Yeah, I knew. Is Nick Thune playing? Randy?

[Christian Dugay]

No, Drennan Davis.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. I knew whoever was playing. See, I'm. I'm a super nerd fan. I'm like, I don't think that's the guy singing. But I thought it was you because you went to Berkeley.

[Christian Dugay]

I did.

[Pete Holmes]

In Boston. I'm from Boston.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I wanted to go to Berkeley.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

For music production. Wait.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Before I realized what I liked about using a four track was playing the songs. You know what I'm saying?

[Christian Dugay]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, I hadn't yet green lit my own ambition. That I wanted to play songs and I wanted to be the voice and. And the artist. So I was too shy. So I was like, oh, I'll turn the knobs.

[Christian Dugay]

And then you're like, oh, I want to make this music.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll make it for other people. Like, I have no interest in that. But it took me another couple years in high school to, like, Green light. No, I want to be on the stage when you.

[Christian Dugay]

What kind of recording was there when you were in high school? Like, did you.

[Pete Holmes]

What was I using? Yeah, it was a Tascam Little 4. Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

I had to rent it for 25 from the music store.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God.

[Christian Dugay]

And I never made anything that I really. You always were like, well, I just play guitar. So it's like four guitars layered on top of it.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's like.

[Christian Dugay]

But I have it. I have four tracks.

[Pete Holmes]

I couldn't. And type two cassettes. You had to get type two.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, I forgot about this. Means they have more. Maybe more space.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Christian Dugay]

Better coding or something.

[Pete Holmes]

You couldn't four track on a type one. And then if you really loved it, you'd go in with a screwdriver and break the. The tab off of it, which would make it so you can't record over it. Do you remember that?

[Christian Dugay]

Yes, I do.

[Pete Holmes]

Isn't that a trip?

[Christian Dugay]

Because I just found a cassette that had me. I used to. One of my favorite albums when I was a kid was the story of Star Wars. Remember that? No, The Story of Star wars was just the movie. This is before vhs. It was just the movie on a record. So it was like. That's exactly what you thought it was like, what, I can have the movie in my house all day long? And so you would just listen to it. And it started with Alec Guinness goes a Long Time Ago in a galaxy far.

[Pete Holmes]

He reads it. Okay.

[Christian Dugay]

And then the rest of it is just the movie. And it was like magic. And I used to read the back of that album and I used to, like, try to do stories on tape. And I found one. Yeah. And my dad, I. And my dad died a couple years ago, but he. He left all these cassettes. And I found one that said Chris on it, and it was written like. I didn't even know there was an H in my name yet, I guess. And I was like, oh, I gotta hear this. It was just completely taped over with Band with a Bluegrass.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no. Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

He just loved bluegrass.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, no.

[Christian Dugay]

Which. And I mean, every song's exactly the same.

[Pete Holmes]

I know. I mean, could we try. How about this one? There's a really long banjo solo.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I. I'm so with you and kind of like a quaint metaphor for life. Like I keep my skillet good and greasy or something, and then it's. And then it's just that over and over.

[Christian Dugay]

It always was kind of like that, but then suddenly death and.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's the third verse of you Are my Sunshine. Or the second verse.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, what's the second verse?

[Pete Holmes]

The other night, dear the other night, dear As I lay sleeping I dreamt I held you in my arms When I awoke, dear I was mistaken so I hang my head and cry It's a very sad song to sing your baby. Just stick to the first verse.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, just.

[Pete Holmes]

You are my sunshine.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, you're gone. Meaning you're dead.

[Pete Holmes]

She's dead. She's gone. It's over a lot of those.

[Christian Dugay]

See, for me, I was. She just wasn't in the house. She went to work.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. That's a. I'll take that. I'll take that as a segue, that for. For people who haven't heard me going on and on and on about it. Valley Heat is a podcast where you play Doug Dugay. Your name is Christian Dugay, but you play Doug Dugay, who's reporting on the events in Burbank, the Rancho equestrian neighborhood.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's. I don't know how to explain it. I've never listened to a podcast like it, but it follows this one guy. It's about this guy making a podcast and the things that happened to him. And we're going back to therapy thing.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I wrote this down when we got in touch, and I was like, christian is going to do the podcast. And I was like. Without killing the. The swan while we're dissecting it. Because it's such a precious thing to me. Enjoying this show. But I'm curious, like, how your therapy and stuff. Doug is very unafraid. He's very like. And Chuck has a problem with me, so I'm going to call him. And he calls him. And there's. And he's also. Things are always falling apart around him. And this is the weird thing I wanted to say to you when I started listening to it. And it's so funny. But to Doug, it's his life. And then you realize your life is funny. Like, we have a gardener. Our neighbor has a gardener who comes every day. He really bothers me. I've talked to my neighbor, and she told me that she pays him to come on Friday. So this guy.

[Christian Dugay]

But he still comes every day.

[Pete Holmes]

He comes every day and he smokes cigarettes so you can smell them. And he's got a cell phone tucked into his hat. So we call him triple cancer. I mean, he's in the sun all day smoking, and he's got a triple cancer. He's triple cancer. And he's just constantly leaf blowing, so it's such a valley heat. I'm not pitching that to you. I'm saying I went from being annoyed to kind of looking at it, like, Doug and being like, I don't know if this guy is just, like, looking to, like, promote himself, like, for people to see him, but you start looking at it in a comedy way instead of just like a fucking. It's like the difference between my life and, like, this is my life. It's funny. Your life is funny?

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

My dog jumps on me.

[Christian Dugay]

That's funny. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, so hearing Doug's kind of Zen, almost like fringing on a Big Lebowski. Things happen to him. He's always in the wrong place at the wrong time, but he goes with it, and he's very unafraid. I just would love to hear your thoughts on the character.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, he wasn't like that when I first thought of it. I was doing these Instagram stories as a joke because there was really a Jaguar parked outside on the curb forever. And it was. First it drove me crazy, and then it was just funny. And I started doing this bit where I was filming it to see if. Because if it doesn't move, you can have it towed, which I wouldn't do. Yeah. And then I didn't care that you're putting chalk on the wheel a little bit, you know?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

And I just started using things like that in the Instagram, and I was acting as though I was bothered by it. Yeah. And my neighbor. I realized Airbnb. It was Airbnb, his home across the street. And they seem very self conscious about it. Doesn't bother me at all. But I thought it was funny if it did bother me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Christian Dugay]

And I started posting about it, and then people said, hey, you should do, like, a short film or something. But. And I did. And Emily directed it, and it looked amazing, but I didn't like it because it was him. He was upset by things. And I thought, no one who wants to watch a person who's upset about anything.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

I mean, I guess Larry David would be the one exception.

[Pete Holmes]

I hear that. I hear that. It's a different approach, although it's Funny that you say that because a lot of the scenes remind me of Curb. Let's not forget where we are here. There is a Kirby element in that. There's nothing formulaic about the show, but whenever there's an argument, it tends to skew into an argument about something else.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, so he'll be confronting somebody about something and then they're talking about whether or not if you self publish a book, it's really publishing a book.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Which is delightful. And that always reminds me a little bit of Curb. You don't want the mustard sauce on your burger. And the guy playing the manager reminds me of the people on Curb that have to improvise against Larry, who's always right. The sauce is mustard. And I'm always like, wow, these guys are very good.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That they can embody a person. That's like.

[Christian Dugay]

Because you really don't want to watch much of an argument. No, I think that. That the reason changing directions works probably is because you can get the fun pieces of maybe two arguments.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Christian Dugay]

Just the fun stuff. And without getting the labor is lost in this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Christian Dugay]

And it's why he's like, you know, he says, I'll take that remark because it's like, well, if he doesn't, then what? What are we just listening to? Two people bouncing off each other, in fact.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay, so we're back on. On the original topic. Because I'll take that remark. I don't know if you know that I'm like, I'm into spiritual ideas and like non resistance or the art of doing nothing. These are like very ancient ideas. And I'll take that remark. If I have a mantra to my life that's very useful. It's. Yes, thank you. And I'll take that remark as very close to that. It's just a guy being like, yeah, I'm wrong. I'll take that remark. Yeah, I did that. And yet here we are. I still have my feelings.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

But like I'm hearing you.

[Christian Dugay]

I'm not going to deny that you believe this.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, it's not a narcissist. It's not like an insane person.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just a good. That's what it is. It seems like a good guy.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Kind of like in a weird world.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. But he seems decent, which we all feel that way. That's how we. I think about ourselves.

[Pete Holmes]

That's how we see ourselves.

[Christian Dugay]

We're a good person and everything's weird.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. And there's a Jaguar on my street.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. But are we gonna. How Mad are we gonna get about it? Because it is what's happening.

[Pete Holmes]

But that's what's key to me is Doug doesn't lose it. He doesn't. He's often right, you know what I mean? And he'll. He'll, you know, make his points and stuff, but usually he's just getting bombarded on. Yeah, yeah, he's just kind of losing. But unlike Larry David, who will get pretty worked up, he's going. He's going with it. It's almost like a guy who realizes that reality doesn't work like that. You know what I mean? It doesn't just go your way.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

But he has an equanimity about that.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Does that sound right?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, it does. I auditioned for that show twice. Didn't get Curb. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you would have been great on that show. I mean, who would have been better than you?

[Christian Dugay]

I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't understand. I'm really upset.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, it's funny because both parts were so small. I watched them and was like. I guess I didn't.

[Pete Holmes]

I couldn't do that little.

[Christian Dugay]

I guess I couldn't. I remember being very nervous because I was with him, but.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. I have that exact air filter.

[Pete Holmes]

This one.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

IQ air.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That means you're a pretty nervous Nelly, huh? You got the hospital grade and then.

[Christian Dugay]

We had to change the filter.

[Pete Holmes]

You ever do that?

[Christian Dugay]

And it's very expensive.

[Pete Holmes]

It's three tiers.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They call it getting minestrone in there.

[Christian Dugay]

You got a minestrone. Your air filter.

[Pete Holmes]

Sorry, I have to step that out. That's a great example. The show. Let's not forget Doug is a character, but, like, is a master study in specifics and how funny specifics are. So you talk about how in the neighborhood, when people are mad at you, they'll. They'll minestrone your soup.

[Christian Dugay]

Minestrone. You soup your pool.

[Pete Holmes]

They'll soup your pool.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The show is chock full of, like making things. Verbs and making things things.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And. But then, sure, we can say you soup the pool, but then you go. It's called getting three layered.

[Christian Dugay]

I think that's what it is.

[Pete Holmes]

Three layered.

[Christian Dugay]

Three. Yeah. You get. It's a three layer problem or something. I think it's three because some floats.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. The oil goes to the top, the.

[Christian Dugay]

Beans things on the bottom, and then.

[Pete Holmes]

The carrots go to the bottom.

[Christian Dugay]

It really would ruin your pool.

[Pete Holmes]

It would, absolutely. But when I'm. When you're listening to it, you can listen to somebody doing some Jibba jabba. Like just kind of riffing and enjoying themselves. But Valley Heat always takes it and then builds on it in like a craftsmany sort of way. I know I'm being very serious about a silly show. Silly, brilliant show. But it's like souping someone's pool is one thing, but then being like, they call it three layer or a three layer problem, and then explaining that the oil floats on the top so there's three layers in your pool. This is when I'm screaming. I'm literally like, ah, I can't handle. So you're. This is the big question. We're gonna go back to Doug as a character. But like, are you improvising? Is that. Beat it out.

[Christian Dugay]

I am improvising.

[Pete Holmes]

Three layered. Is that on there?

[Christian Dugay]

I am improvising, but I'm definitely stopping and thinking. I'm writing, I'm just writing. I'm writing out loud. It's the same as writing. And then I'll stop and think about it. I could redo something or realize it can go in this direction. It isn't. It's definitely improvised, but improvised. If you did an improv show and you could stop time and go, I should have done it like that.

[Pete Holmes]

Uh huh. So you don't have an outline that says soup your pool?

[Christian Dugay]

No, no. There aren't any jokes I don't have. Well, I guess sometimes I'll see something or hear about something. I think, oh, that might be a funny Valley Heat idea. But those often, I mean, I have so many texts to myself that I. I don't even know what they mean anymore. So I usually just end up. I'll just. If you sit down and just start talking, it's very uncomfortable and then eventually it's not, you know? Yeah. Do you do that? Do you, do you write out loud?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I do it on stage. Yeah. As a stand up.

[Christian Dugay]

I wish I had it in me to do that in front of people.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. I get so nervous in live performances.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's so funny. I. I certainly used to. And then. And then some. It's like improv itself. Something flips and then the lack of control becomes the comforting thing. But like, I. I feel like I could convince you to do it. Meaning I know you could. And when I'm doing stand up, it's always talking about something I really have strong feelings about, which is what you're doing too. Like, I imagine you really do feel weird about the Bridges of Songs. So you don't have to like write it out. You just know how you feel about.

[Christian Dugay]

Right. Sometimes it's something. Often it'll be. There's. Have you listened to the Good Morning Burbanks?

[Pete Holmes]

I am a Patreon. Check out the Valley Heat Patreon page. So I am. And I have them all downloaded, but I haven't listened to one yet.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, it's. So there's a lot of material that I'll be talking. And then I'll realize. Like you were saying, you realize how funny your life is. I'll be talking about something and realize how ridiculous something was in my life that I never really realized how crazy it was.

[Pete Holmes]

It's so cool. Like, just kind of turning the faucet on and see.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. You know, you'll just be rambling. And then I realized. Oh, yeah. I remember I had a dirt bike when I was 12, and two kids just took it. And I just didn't have the courage to tell my dad it was gone. And so I would see it driving around. This is when we lived in Arizona. And I. I was like, when I see those guys, I'm gonna get my motorcycle back. And one time I saw them and they stopped, and I was like, I gotta. I need my motorcycle back. And, well, how are we gonna get home? I don't. I don't know. And then they.

[Pete Holmes]

That is such a Valley Heat moment. Is that on the show?

[Christian Dugay]

That's in Good Morning Burbank. I talked about that, and I might have embellished some things.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Christian Dugay]

Usually it's taking something that happened and then that is just pure comedy and expanding.

[Pete Holmes]

How are we gonna get home? Is the essence of every comedy that's ever existed. I'm saying, like, I feel like a scientist, and we have, like, a set, like a thing to put under a microscope. And we're like a guy whose dirt bike is stolen, and then he finally gets them and stops them, says, you gotta give me back. And they say, how are we gonna get home?

[Christian Dugay]

And it's funny because you knew the second I see them, the bike's mine. You're like, damn it. Right? They got me immediately.

[Pete Holmes]

Right, right.

[Christian Dugay]

Figured it.

[Pete Holmes]

Because you need to be. This is what tough guys have, which is like, not my problem. Yeah, not my problem.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, you're right. It's not my. It's fucking walk. It's my problem.

[Pete Holmes]

But we're like.

[Christian Dugay]

I.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, I suppose. See, like, people who are trying to be good are very funny. Like, we're back to Valley Heat philosophy. It's like, if you just go, not my problem. The scene's over. But if you're like, I could give you a ride. And then of course they live really far away or they both live trying.

[Christian Dugay]

To drive two people on a dirt.

[Pete Holmes]

Bike and then you get pulled over or whatever it is. Yeah, exactly. That's over the maximum. And you explain they stole it.

[Christian Dugay]

Maybe. You know, because the things that people are doing on the show might not be as funny if there wasn't somebody who was trying to be understanding about it.

[Pete Holmes]

I think that's what Doug is doing. He's trying his best. Best.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. That's what. And that's what I realized would make this short film was. Was. Oh, this. I should just not be upset. You know, I should. I should be accepting these things and. And having the madness and the conflict around me.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. Yeah. I don't think anybody thinks that Doug. I know this is very inside valley, but that Doug is like a bad husband. Like when Chuck is your father in law is being really mean to you.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Nobody's like, he's right, Doug. We gotta get rid of Doug. Like, you're rooting.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You see him caring.

[Christian Dugay]

There are times that he's kind, that he's right. Especially in the beginning.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

Like, well, you should be in jail yourself. And you think. Yeah, he's making a very good point.

[Pete Holmes]

Who plays Chuck?

[Christian Dugay]

Mike O'Connell.

[Pete Holmes]

Mike O'Connell. I don't know if I know Michael. Wait, Mike O'Connell. I know Mike O'Connell. He's a stand up.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Now I can immediately. He's brilliant.

[Christian Dugay]

Very close friend. We aren't enemies in the least.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, of course. He's so funny.

[Christian Dugay]

He really is.

[Pete Holmes]

He's one of those guys. He did this podcast too. Does he still say demons? Like.

[Christian Dugay]

He sure does. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You can tell him I asked that. That's the first thing I think of is a guy that just says demons.

[Christian Dugay]

He has his own language. And he'll listen to this.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, he was a delight on this show. And I told him when he was on it, me and Kumail and all these Chicago guys saw him perform and he put on his onesie. We'd never seen a guy like this. He's wearing like a Ziggy Stardust onesie. And he went up and, you know, he's also a remarkable musician, as are you.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And that makes it funnier. You know what I mean? It's funnier that the music is good.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes, I agree with that. And I don't even. I usually don't like musical comedy.

[Pete Holmes]

Me neither.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, I think you have to be doing music in earnest.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Christian Dugay]

The idea of the music, I think could be funny.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

The idea of a big rock anthem about Frisbee golf. Yes, the idea is funny, but I don't think you should be putting funny lines.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree. You know, in fact, the more earnest that it gets and the more it seems like you like yacht rock. Am I correct in that?

[Christian Dugay]

I do.

[Pete Holmes]

Will you take that remark?

[Christian Dugay]

Yes, I'll take that remark. I do. I love R B from that era and, and, and that whole, that whole genre of music. I just watched that documentary recently where Donald Fagan. Oh, you have?

[Pete Holmes]

Go ahead. You can, you may, you may.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, he takes a phone call and then tells them to off over what he's like. He's like, and what genre are we talking about? He goes, yacht rock. And he goes, why don't you go yourself?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, because he won't accept that remark.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, he won't. He doesn't accept that remark. You know, if someone makes fun of you, it's your job to make fun of you back to them. It really is. That's hilarious.

[Pete Holmes]

Make fun of yourself back to them. That's the real power.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, it's true.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

I've been doing. I've been fucking with myself my whole life. This is my.

[Pete Holmes]

This is my area. You've just stepped into my arena.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, right.

[Pete Holmes]

That's funny. I've said a similar thing, which is, if another comedian makes fun of you, write it down. It's like, that's the same thing. It's the same thing. You go like, thank you. Yeah, incredible. I always give this example, but. And it's a name drop now, but John Mulaney and I started together and he called me. We were checking into a hotel. I know the story. But they go, one of the rooms is a non smoking queen. And I don't know if this joke ages well, but I went, that's me, right? It's a dumb joke. And Mulaney just goes, we're like both tired. And he goes, you're like a fun dad. You're like an embarrassing dad. And that joke, calling myself a fun dad, like an embarrassing dad was how I got Montreal. It's like. Because they're waiting for you to like, click and understand who you are. They want you to know who you are. Yeah, but it was someone else telling me who I was.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And I was like, ah, so you're absolutely right. When someone makes fun of you, it's your job to make fun of yourself with them.

[Christian Dugay]

It's really your only choice. It's like someone throws a ball to you and you're like, are you gonna bat it down or are you gonna catch it and throw it back?

[Pete Holmes]

I recently threw away all of my weed because it was too damn strong. That's true when all you want to do is relax, unwind, get silly, have fun. Modern weed products strap you to a rocket like a confused chimp and blast you into outer space where you're too out of it to follow the plot of a movie, hold a conversation, or know it's not a good idea to eat 17 pizzas. Then the day after I'm cloudy, I got the weed hangover, I'm foggy, there's a malaise and you feel like your head is full of cobwebs because the weed that you took was designed to tranquilize a gorilla. Well, thankfully now we can just take the edge off, get a little giggly with our friends while keeping our feet on the earth. Thanks to our friends at dad Grass, I am obsessed with their new leisure drinks. As you know, I'm California sober, I don't drink alcohol, but thanks to their leisure drinks I can be at a party with a can of something cold and delicious, taking a little edge off, having some fun, getting a little bit silly and it ships legally to all 50 states if you're over 21. This is too good to be true. But it's true. They're delicious sparkling cans of Yuzu flavored goodness that finally offer a casual, light hearted way to have fun and relax your body and mind with friends. I've been putting them out at parties, I've been sipping them with my family movie nights and because they're just a little lightness, not a trust, fall into a black hole of oblivion where I can laugh a little easier watching the Parent Trap and eating pizza with my family and just enjoy it a whole lot more. 3 grams of THC, 6 grams of CBD, 2200 MG of Lion's Mane per can. It's mild dose and sessionable for a mellow experience. Happy and relaxed without the hangover. Stackable for a bigger buzz. And it's fast acting, meaning you're going to know how you feel. 10:20 minutes. It's not nine hours like other edibles. Get leisure drinks in all of dad Grass products including joints and gummies. Go to dadgrass.com weird and use promo code weird for 20% off. Try the leisure drink dad grass.com weird use promo code weird for 20% OFF. We're also brought to us by our Friends at Living Libations. If you guys are fans of this show and want a easy and fun way to support it, go to livinglibations.com and get something small or do what we did and redo your entire beauty cabinet, medicine cabinet, and your health and beauty products. Because Living Libations is an amazing company that makes some of the most effective badass and premium products that are made with ingredients you can actually recognize and pronounce. Because the stuff you put on your skin gets into your body and so much stuff that you buy at the convenience stores is filled with toxic chemicals that were never intended for humans. Living Libations isn't like that. Their best skin ever moisturizer, which by the way, I've had the same bottle of their best skin ever moisturizer for years. It lasts forever, it feels great, and it brings out a healthy natural glow to your skin. Both Val and I use that. They have deodorant, they have baby products, they have stuff for your teeth, for your gums. They have basic stuff all the way to top tier stuff. Get some Living Libations in your life and replace the random chemical nightmare that you're smearing on your skin and doing who knows what to your body. It is awesome. It's a great gift. And a great gift you can give yourself. 15% off by going to living libations.com weird. That's 15% off@living libations.com weird. So, okay, let's. We should have done this up top. But how did the show come about? Like what? I know you made the short film.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, it was. Yeah, it was just. It didn't, it didn't just dawn on me what the show was. I was doing these Instagrams and I felt like people, other fellow comedians were thinking it was funny, but there was something about it that was a little negative. And I didn't really put my finger on it until we made that little film. And it was some funny ideas. No, it was some funny Ideas like Mike O'Connell was not my father in law. He was a guy who. Well, there was a van parked in front of the house that was like topless maids van. But it had just been there for months and it was bothering me. So it just became kind of boring in the middle of the movie. But he was a guy that ended up being. He was sleeping in it and torturing me. Which it's. I just kind of didn't find it, but was important to do because I think I eventually found it.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Christian Dugay]

And I had this computer that I bought six years ago to make music on. And I really had never recorded music before much. And I thought, oh, maybe I'll do a podcast. It was always something in the back of my head that would be secondary, like, well, I guess if I can't make the film, I'll make the podcast. But that's how I was just sitting down. I think by the second episode, I understood what it. What it would be.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I actually think it's strong right out the gate. I always tell them, start at the beginning because you're talking about the solos and, like, you're genuine. Like, how many guitars is this?

[Christian Dugay]

I mean, and listening to it, I thought it was funny. It started with just talking about Pete and his music, and then I started listening to Boston, and I was. That's a lot of guitars at once. And then they did a second solo. I mean, I was just kind of riffing on it, but I couldn't believe how much more was coming from the music. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then Maximum Fun puts it out.

[Christian Dugay]

They do now. Originally it was independent, that it was at Starburns, and then it was independent again when Starburns Audio went under. And, yeah, it was independent for a while, and then it went. Went to Max Fund.

[Pete Holmes]

And what is Max Fund's Maximum Fun?

[Christian Dugay]

They are a podcast network, and you. It's. You can listen to all of their shows for free, but if you have a subscription with them, then you can get the bonus content, which is the Good Morning Burbanks. They're also on Patreon. Okay, so you do one or the other, and. Yeah, I forget where I was going with that.

[Pete Holmes]

I was. I'm just so, like, is Valley Heat kind of like what you're doing now? Like, that's a weird question.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, that's what people go like, so what else are you doing? No, I'm not just in the garage all day long.

[Pete Holmes]

I want to know. I want. Like, I signed up for the Patreon Max tier. I think you should have a higher tier. If there was a $25, maybe I should.

[Christian Dugay]

Maybe I should, because it's. The only money I make right now is on Patreon.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, this is what I'm wondering. I'm like, okay, you have, like, 1100 subscribers. It just tells you, by the way. And I'm like, I hope they're all 10, because this show deserves.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, my God. I wish. I wish, I wish they were. Most of them are the lower tier. And I should. I think I should. Maybe I don't know, Retire it. I always felt like, well, what do you pay for Netflix?

[Pete Holmes]

That's the wrong way to look at.

[Christian Dugay]

It, really, I think. Is it?

[Pete Holmes]

There's. You know, it's funny that you say this because, like, I will bend over backwards to save 200 at a hotel. Like, I'll pick a cheaper hotel, I'll save 200, but I'll easily give a very good masseuse 200. It's a different $200, you're right. And Valley Heat is a different $20 than your fucking monthly Starbucks or whatever.

[Christian Dugay]

Maybe I could just add one in case someone wants to give more money. Because I've. One of the things I've struggled with is just making it fast. And some of them take months. And the last one came out like four or five months ago, I think. So they take a long time doing the Good Morning Burbank, many episodes which were supposed to be short. Now I take too much time with them, so I struggle. Like I said, I need a deadline. Is. I just. I. I'll be like, oh, you're not gonna get stuck on a song. Yeah. For another two weeks. And then I'm immediately stuck on a song, which I have been for the last two weeks.

[Pete Holmes]

Champagne Cowboy is one of the best songs. I die. And you'd think listening to the show, you'd get the formula. You'd be like, oh, and there's gonna be like a really over the top song. It doesn't matter. You're not ready. And it's the earnestness. Okay. Have you thought about making it into something else? Is there are people sniffing around?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, you picture it as something else.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, it was. It was picked up by Sony and a company called Counterbalance, who do Cobra Kai and I picked up.

[Pete Holmes]

Very valid they only do Valley things option.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. Oh, they only do karate. Karate. Centric Valley.

[Pete Holmes]

If these guys were playing foosball.

[Christian Dugay]

What if it wasn't karate everyone knew but foosball?

[Pete Holmes]

So Sony did it. Is optioning it.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, they did. And this was a while ago, and it was before the strike, it was optioned. And then, as you know, a lot of things go. People change. You know, people who were in charge of things change. And.

[Pete Holmes]

And it's the truest thing Seinfeld ever did. When they're pitching Jerry the executive gets fired and the show goes away. Like, the number of times that's happened, that's happened to me recently, where someone's, like, on fire for something. They get fired and the new guy just wants his own Stuff.

[Christian Dugay]

It's almost like there should be a contract that says if they fire you, can I still have this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or am I also fired?

[Pete Holmes]

Is it contingent on your mood, or is this a good show? You just like me. Yeah, but it is. It's dating and you. It's hunting. They want to bring the elk into the thing, and they want to be like, I brought it in when it's a big hit. So then they go like, well, I can't even get that. So fuck off. They'd rather cut it loose than when Succession wins a million Emmys. Be like, well, it was really Steve before he was fired. He found it like, who cares? You have nine Emmys. Shut up. It's so dumb.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We AI executives. I'm in favor. I'm just kidding. It's coming. That would be the AI Network.

[Christian Dugay]

What would it be programmed to do?

[Pete Holmes]

What I worry is that it would only look at numbers and stuff, because like. Like, Valley Heat is brilliant, but it's not the Joe Rogan experience, because I can't.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, if I wish I could make it faster, I think that if I made it regularly, it would be bigger, but it also wouldn't be as. It wouldn't be what it is. It wouldn't be as good. And I really. Once you make something, it's out there forever. So I think you should. If I could. Yeah. If it ever got to a point where I could hire anyone to help.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

There are a couple people who volunteer sometimes, but they also have jobs, so.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, you could get a staff. I would happily email you.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, you know what's funny is I think that people want to help. That people do. They really want to help. And. And. But what I know now is, like, I just know. Yeah, you want to help, but you have a whole life.

[Pete Holmes]

You think they won't.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, you are wrong. I have your.

[Pete Holmes]

I have your phone number now. I'm gonna.

[Christian Dugay]

I'm gonna help. I'm gonna. And then he just disappeared. It was like, of course you did. You just. You got.

[Pete Holmes]

You got all lit up. And then you realize that what Valley Heat actually is is long days in a garage by yourself.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

With Emily going, can you get out of there?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. It's like, I love Game of Thrones, but I was like, I'll do anything to work with you for free.

[Pete Holmes]

It's funny that we talked about Curb, because when I worked with one of the directors from Curb, and I would email him because, you know, when you have a Curb idea, you're like, that's yes. It has its own ring.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I was like, that's a curb your enthusiasm thing. And I would email it to him. I feel the same way about Valley Heat. It's the highest.

[Christian Dugay]

We'll always send something if you ever want.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, now that we're in touch, I will. I'll send it to you. And. And you never have to. You don't even have to reply.

[Christian Dugay]

It's just like.

[Pete Holmes]

You can be like, yeah, okay, look, I wrote down some things that are ripped from my brain that I heard on the show. This might be fun for people who haven't heard the show, but when you talked about bumper stickers, do you remember talking about bumper stickers? I can prime you more than that.

[Christian Dugay]

Tell me a little bit. I do, vaguely. Because I've always thought bumper stickers were pretty funny.

[Pete Holmes]

They are. And so are mugs, by the way. Same genre.

[Christian Dugay]

Really? I didn't really realize until I was talking about the mugs that rude mugs are. You know, sometimes it's just something you start talking about. What could he be doing?

[Pete Holmes]

That is so Chips Ahoy Cookie Boy. I also think you could be merching a lot more.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, there's.

[Pete Holmes]

You could be selling this as you mugs.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, you do sell them on Threadless.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, okay.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is Chips Ahoy Cookie Boy available?

[Christian Dugay]

What's that?

[Pete Holmes]

I don't. I get the feeling Chips Ahoy.

[Christian Dugay]

I don't think I can, but I meant to bring you that shirt and I forgot it. But I'll get it to you. But I need to expand. But you can get Pete's worst. This is you mug. It's a grave with a grave. It's this. This is you. All right.

[Pete Holmes]

When you talked about bumper stickers on the show, you pulled a thought straight from my brain, which is how I feel about tattoos. And there's no mood I'm in every day. You know what I'm saying?

[Christian Dugay]

That's funny.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's basically what you say. You go like, that's. What do you want to say every day?

[Christian Dugay]

Right. And especially the political ones. You must come out to. You have a flag on your truck. You ever just leave the store and go, God, I'm still doing this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Christian Dugay]

All day, screaming this every day.

[Pete Holmes]

And we can't not read them. Bumper stickers are the most compelling things. There could be an accident. And a car with a bumper sticker.

[Christian Dugay]

Are the ones that are mad at you about their words. My kid goes to school, but I don't have a kid.

[Pete Holmes]

That's the one you talk about. That's the one you. That's your example. You go, I don't care where your kid goes.

[Christian Dugay]

I can tell you where my kid goes to school.

[Pete Holmes]

Or Calvin peeing on something.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Which I just watched a really interesting YouTube about how Bill Watterson never. There was something about, like, if Bill Watterson had sold the rights to Calvin, he would have had enough money to sue the people that were making Calvin peeing. But he was so anti. Selling his becoming a. A commodity instead of an artist IP his. He wouldn't sell it.

[Christian Dugay]

He would not sell that. So they had the right to make.

[Pete Holmes]

Him praying because he could yet pray.

[Christian Dugay]

That he's praying and peeing.

[Pete Holmes]

That's us. Don't you see? That's us. That's the nation. We're either like, yeah, this, or we're pissing on the Chevy logo. And there's no subtlety. There's nothing.

[Christian Dugay]

It really sounds like a 90s 90s comedy. Like a feel good comedy with Julia.

[Pete Holmes]

Roberts praying and peeing. Eat, pray, eat, Pee, love.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. That's what I. That's why I was like, yeah, but.

[Pete Holmes]

You pulled that out of my. You also said that Dragon's Lair is the worst 80s video game, but you didn't go into it.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, it's. There's. It's extended on Good Morning Burbank. Yeah. Really? It came from. Some of the ideas in Good Morning Burbank appear in Valley Heat, sort of a truncated version of it, but it just.

[Pete Holmes]

I couldn't agree more. By the way.

[Christian Dugay]

I was infuriated because it seemed like they've done it. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a cartoon.

[Christian Dugay]

They've been amazing. And then instantly, 50 cents gone immediately.

[Pete Holmes]

And you play for 30 seconds.

[Christian Dugay]

You really do.

[Pete Holmes]

And you have to know to hit left at like, on a frame.

[Christian Dugay]

But it's not like, as fast as you can think. It's slower than you think. And so you're like, okay, I'll go this way.

[Pete Holmes]

And then it cuts to black and it loads the footage.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, it's like, hold on just a second.

[Pete Holmes]

And then it shows you dying.

[Christian Dugay]

We're showing your 50 cents. We have a very graphic way to show you how you have no money left. They're always falling through the floor. It's all they do. Yeah. The only thing that happens.

[Pete Holmes]

There was one where I remember he got hit in the head and he's like, bang. But you just.

[Christian Dugay]

You just lose style of the cartoon. That drives me nuts. The way he walks.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Christian Dugay]

It's like, why, it's almost like The.

[Pete Holmes]

Keep on Trucking guys. It's like, kind of got like a. It is like there's something 70s and trippy about him.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And he sucks. I play video games to feel like a winner. Like, if I want to know that.

[Christian Dugay]

I'm gonna die real loser. Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Dragon's Lair. You stink. And if you're good at Dragon's Lair, you're a millionaire. You had.

[Christian Dugay]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

You were that kid with the.

[Christian Dugay]

And that's coin belt. Because it was just for the rich kids.

[Pete Holmes]

It was for the rich kids. No, I don't know if you did.

[Christian Dugay]

It was. It was just for kids who had all those quarters.

[Pete Holmes]

I remember there were kids that had the.

[Christian Dugay]

I mean, the coin belt quarters. If you have 50 cents to sink into a game you're doing gave you a lot of money. I don't know when. I mean, I. I was a kid when they. When they really first came out, like Pac man and the arcades were the. The place to be.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

You got five bucks?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

And that was like.

[Pete Holmes]

Yep.

[Christian Dugay]

20 minutes.

[Pete Holmes]

Yep.

[Christian Dugay]

But if you sunk 50 cents, that's a big.

[Pete Holmes]

That's a big loss. Do you remember the phenomenon of continue screens being kind of big use.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Like Ninja Gaiden.

[Christian Dugay]

Right. It's like a slot machine.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. It would taunt you to play more. So if you lost in Ninja Gaiden, it would cut to your character tied to a plank. And there's a bone saw coming down with a 1098.

[Christian Dugay]

You want to see this guy die? Kill him. Go ahead, kill him. Walk away.

[Pete Holmes]

And final fight, too. You were tied to a chair and there was a stick of dynamite. And he's going. He's trying to blow it out, and you have to watch him die.

[Christian Dugay]

You can help him, man.

[Pete Holmes]

Help him. Do it. Like, it's like Feed the children.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like an ad for like a.

[Christian Dugay]

Like a charity, really. You could. And if you run out, you could run. Maybe your dad's outside and you could, you know, run to him in the mall.

[Pete Holmes]

Make it.

[Christian Dugay]

I just need another dollar.

[Pete Holmes]

Make it.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, that guy was a friend to the programmers. He was just pixels, the ninja. And Ninja Gaiden was my friend. He was me.

[Christian Dugay]

I don't know that game, but I, I.

[Pete Holmes]

There were other. Other continuation. See, that's like a Valley Gorf.

[Christian Dugay]

Do you ever play Gorf?

[Pete Holmes]

Well, it was gorgeous.

[Christian Dugay]

It was like Tron kind of wears four games. It was simulations of other games, like copies, but they were all great.

[Pete Holmes]

Really?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. No one's really ever Heard of?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

No. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I feel like we might be a little separated. I'm like Street Fighter and all those.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes. That's after my time.

[Pete Holmes]

You were Spy Hunter.

[Christian Dugay]

I was Pac man and Space Invaders even. And.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow. Centipede.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Centipede King, Donkey Kong.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. There's just certain types of people that played certain games and anything with the engine. That was Missile Command. It was like, oh, yeah. Kids got throwing stars. Like, that's a kid that'll beat me up. He's got a crossbow. But if you played Pac Man. Fun Guy. Fun Guy.

[Pete Holmes]

You are killing me. The Missile Command kid. I mean, think about it. You picked a game called Missile Command, and you play, like, a bunker.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And you're, like, guarding the country.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Pac man is literally a pizza with a slice missing, eating dots.

[Christian Dugay]

I never thought about his pizza with a slice.

[Pete Holmes]

That's how they came up with it.

[Christian Dugay]

I didn't know that.

[Pete Holmes]

And it was Puckman. Did you know this?

[Christian Dugay]

Puck Man. Much worse.

[Pete Holmes]

And there was a mistranslation. Talk about good mistakes.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It became Pac man. And they were just like. Don't you mean Puck Man? And they're like. It's like. It was a real. Like, it went out like that.

[Christian Dugay]

And it's Pac. Oh, it was a really.

[Pete Holmes]

I think it was.

[Christian Dugay]

It was an accident.

[Pete Holmes]

I think it was an accident that somebody doubled down on. And they're like, no way. These guys meant Puck Man.

[Christian Dugay]

There's no way. Change it. Are you serious? Change it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's Pac Man.

[Christian Dugay]

Trust me on this. And that guy gets no credit for that. For the action.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, he's gone. Nobody knows where he is. So there was. Oh, and then Joe Camel. When you said Joe Camel on the show.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Looks like the Cheetos guy. I think my brain, like, inverted. Like, I had never thought of it. Joe Camel is Chester Cheetah.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes. They look same guy. It really. They have that same dick face. Fisheye. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

They have that big, like, Freudian face. The sunglasses.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And the same tude. One is like, you can't tell me where to eat cheese puffs. And one's like, I'll smoke in this pool.

[Christian Dugay]

I never wanted to be like any of those guys. Either of them.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. We're Pac man guys.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

We're Pac man guys. We don't want to wear a purple blazer. It's like Vin Diesel's Wet Dream. Like, you got a giraffe lady on your arm and big Camel wide.

[Christian Dugay]

And they all played sack. There was a saxophone thing at the time. You said that playing saxophone to the point where I was kind of into sack. I remember I had, like, some. My mom got me. I think it was Camels playing saxophone. A poster. And so that was on my wall. That really was. My mom had a poster framing shop. That's what she did. And she would frame these. Some were just samples. And she would go here, Camels playing saxophone, Blues Camels.

[Pete Holmes]

You said that on the show. I know. It's hard to believe because saxophone is a joke instrument now.

[Christian Dugay]

It is.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a joke instrument.

[Christian Dugay]

It's really. It's been killed.

[Pete Holmes]

It's been killed in the 90s if you played the sax.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Everyone's getting pregnant. It was like this amazing.

[Christian Dugay]

What happened.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, in the moonlight, throwing back. That wasn't a joke. It was like, holy.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And like, I feel like Dave Matthews Band was the last time we took a saxophone.

[Christian Dugay]

Did they have saxophone?

[Pete Holmes]

They had. I think it was like a. Alto, maybe. It's like kind of a clarinet. Saxophone.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. Soprano, soprano, sacks.

[Pete Holmes]

But like, the real fat uppercase J made out of brass.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

C3PO's leg.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That used to be hot.

[Christian Dugay]

I know.

[Pete Holmes]

And you and I. I swear to you, that is the bond. Whatever. The Valley Heat. The people who relate really hard to Valley Heat feel like we're sensitive. I don't mean overly sensitive. I just mean, like, alert. And that means we didn't relate to Joe Camel. If you were like, that's me, and that's what I want to be.

[Christian Dugay]

You're not listening to Valley Heat.

[Pete Holmes]

You're not listening to Valley Heat. And you're not listening to my comedy either.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If you're like, I just want to wear, like, a laceless leather shoe and a tailored slack and a purple blazer with a chain and like, a V neck, white T shirt, and I want to smoke Camel wides in a pool ball and I want to bang a jukebox, and it starts playing like, even you're pointing out of Jesse's Girl. These songs are funny. It's like, funny.

[Christian Dugay]

That song is so funny to me because it's. Everybody is so happy when that song comes on.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

Including me. And then. And then within it changes. And you're like, hey, we got to get this song.

[Pete Holmes]

It becomes a different song.

[Christian Dugay]

That doesn't change. It's just. It's.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, you. You lose your stomach.

[Christian Dugay]

Right. About the. The anticipation. It's. I guess a lot of songs in the 80s have that where they just feel great for us for 30 seconds. The TV shows, too. Like, Just the theme songs.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree.

[Christian Dugay]

You didn't have to watch the show. The theme songs were so good. But, like, welcome Back Cotter was not a good show. No, but the theme song was.

[Pete Holmes]

And somebody just pointed out Family Matters. Full House and Step By Step. We're all the same guy. Some multi gajillionaire.

[Christian Dugay]

That's kind of my time. So what was the family? What was. What was it? Family.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know which one this is. I think this is Family Matters. Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paper boy, evening tv?

[Christian Dugay]

So it's like a throwback. It's really. Those were the days. It's the new. Those were the days. It is.

[Pete Holmes]

Those were the days. It's very similar.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They're going for that.

[Christian Dugay]

Whatever happened to predictability?

[Pete Holmes]

The milkman, the paper boy, evening tv? Well, then there must be some magic clue. This is the pre chorus.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Inside these gentle walls Strings. Cause all I see is a tower of dreams Real love bursting out of every scene it doesn't mean anything. Days go by.

[Christian Dugay]

What goes by? The days, the days go by.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the bigger love of the family.

[Christian Dugay]

It's like a. I wrote it.

[Pete Holmes]

The song is over, by the way. That's the other thing.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, they knew.

[Pete Holmes]

It's done.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You have pointed out something that I never realized. None of that makes a lick of sense, but it's over before you can kind of go like what? As days go by, it's the bigger love of the family.

[Christian Dugay]

Whatever happened to predictability? As days go by, it's the bigger love of the family. I mean, I think I agree.

[Pete Holmes]

You sort of do. And then it's a rare condition, this day and age. Same idea.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Never happened to predictability.

[Christian Dugay]

Whatever happened to read any good news.

[Pete Holmes]

On the newspaper page?

[Christian Dugay]

Well, like, the news was great a long time ago. Remember when you read the news and they were like, people are happy. People are happy.

[Pete Holmes]

Nothing to report. Maybe check out the funniest. What did I read? Any good news on the newspaper page? Love and tradition of the grand design.

[Christian Dugay]

They're the grand design.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

Some people say is even harder to find. Well, then there must be some magic clues inside these gentle walls.

[Christian Dugay]

I really have no idea what it is.

[Pete Holmes]

Someone's coming in the kitchen and staring at the camera. At this point, it really.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because all I see is a tower of dreams. Wait, I already said that. Real love burst. Did I just blend two of them? I mean, I just blended.

[Christian Dugay]

They're all kind of the same Line.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I'm saying. Read any good news. It doesn't matter. That was the same guy. Clearly.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Those songs all blend together like the John Williams score for Superman. Star wars and Indiana Jones are incredibly similar.

[Christian Dugay]

Which ones?

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I'm sure you know these. Star Wars.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes. You're saying the soundtracks are similar. Well, yeah, because they're John Williams. Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Because they're very similar. I'm not saying bad similar, but like Star Wars. Now do Indiana Jones.

[Christian Dugay]

I don't know if I can.

[Pete Holmes]

That's my point. That's my point. Once you do one, I'm.

[Christian Dugay]

When you're done, you can do both. It's time for you to leave. It's kung fu time for you to leave.

[Pete Holmes]

Or Superman. Superman's the one that always sticks because I know it starts with.

[Christian Dugay]

You're right. That's a good way to get it. Yeah, I've never.

[Pete Holmes]

That's Star Wars. But it's. That's the part I can always get.

[Christian Dugay]

Now I have to think of Indiana Jones.

[Pete Holmes]

Indiana Jones is. No, I've been spending 10 years learning.

[Christian Dugay]

To sing these two songs together.

[Pete Holmes]

The guy that can do all three.

[Christian Dugay]

I. When I was a kid, it was always. Can you do Bewitched?

[Pete Holmes]

No, that starboard. With full confidence. With full confidence. I thought I had.

[Christian Dugay]

You thought you had it?

[Pete Holmes]

I thought I had Indiana Jones and I did Star Wars. That is embarrassing.

[Christian Dugay]

Do you know Bewitched?

[Pete Holmes]

Is it. Is it like that?

[Christian Dugay]

It's. It's. And then. Do you know I Dream of Genie.

[Pete Holmes]

Similar.

[Christian Dugay]

I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm guessing.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, but I can't do it. I can't think of it.

[Pete Holmes]

They're gone. You can only hold one at a time.

[Christian Dugay]

It's true.

[Pete Holmes]

It's called the Heisenberg principle.

[Christian Dugay]

It's weird that they call it that.

[Pete Holmes]

I have other things. Oh, and you pointed out. Sorry. Did you ever do a stand up? The California raisins thing is maybe the funniest thing of all time. Where you go like, that's a marketing feat. It's like, how are we gonna market raisins?

[Christian Dugay]

No, I never did in a stand up. It was only because I was talking about the. I think it was the Joe Camel or playing saxophone. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

They're all wearing sunglasses.

[Christian Dugay]

And then I. Then I remember the raisins and it was like, you have raisins on your shirt. You. This is the worst snack. And they're on your. Yeah, you love California raisins.

[Pete Holmes]

In the punchline, if you recall, is they go, how are we going to sell Kids raisins. And you go sell them. By the time I'm done with them, they're going to want to be raisins. I'm like, that is the funniest premise of all time. I just find that. Okay, so Sony optioned it. Then it went away because of the will the pit.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, it did. We pitched it to a few places, but it couldn't really get people. They. The pitch was fun. It was like Chuck was calling in and interrupting the pitch on the zoom and have they let you down yet? Easy. And telling them not to buy it, which they didn't. But it was.

[Pete Holmes]

What if one of the executives didn't know that was a bet? He was like, I think we should listen to that Chuck guy.

[Christian Dugay]

I mean, maybe it felt like they all got it, but they didn't buy it.

[Pete Holmes]

Animated. Was that the idea?

[Christian Dugay]

No, it was live. So do you see it animated?

[Pete Holmes]

I would see it in.

[Christian Dugay]

You would?

[Pete Holmes]

I've given this a lot of thought, actually.

[Christian Dugay]

Me too. And I. I've. Some people agree and some people don't.

[Pete Holmes]

But some people think it should be live action.

[Christian Dugay]

That's. Well, that's what we put all our time into.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna hard disagree with that.

[Christian Dugay]

Really.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna prove my point. So three words. Are you ready?

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Elevated by path.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Get the out of here.

[Christian Dugay]

But if you can draw, draw. It's easy. If you see it in real life, it's pretty funny.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree.

[Christian Dugay]

But how you can do it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's not even that. I don't think it's. It's work prohibitive. I'm. I'm saying in a world where we can make a cliff and we can make an elevated bike path and recumbent bikes and gas, if we had an unlimited budget, I'd still do it. Animated.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay. It's good. It's. I'm.

[Pete Holmes]

I've even considered this. Yeah, it's animated, except the music is real. What are you seeing, like Mick, then you see real people kind of like Wally. You know how Fred. Fred Willard was the one human in wall E. Do you remember?

[Christian Dugay]

No. Oh, was he like on a screen or something?

[Pete Holmes]

On the screen? I've considered. The only thing that's funnier if it's real to me is the music.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because seeing cartoons singing like champagne cowboy isn't funny.

[Christian Dugay]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

Seeing real people really emoting is funny. But everything else could be animated. But I'm not even sold on that.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, after this, I will show you. I will show You. Some stuff we shot, and you tell me what you. What you think. Just send it to you?

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, do it. Can we show it on the show? We don't have to.

[Christian Dugay]

I think so. I don't know. I don't know what. They own me.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait, because somebody, a production company was like, let's throw a little sizzle together.

[Christian Dugay]

They did. Yeah, we shot. We shot some. Some stuff. We shot about four scenes and it was.

[Pete Holmes]

It was the show about a guy doing a podcast.

[Christian Dugay]

It was, but it was as though you were what? You're watching a video version of the podcast.

[Pete Holmes]

I see.

[Christian Dugay]

So he's. But he's talking when the podcast is the podcast. He's talking directly to you. Yeah, but it's on vcr. Like, he has this. So you know, when it's. There's a little play blinking, kind of looks dated and aged and done poorly.

[Pete Holmes]

I see. Yeah. I have strong feelings about the show. I spent a lot of time thinking about how to make everyone in the world know Valley Heat.

[Christian Dugay]

I'm like, that's a thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm like an insane person. But that's also how I enjoy things. Things. I go, like, how do we. I could see like the Bob's Burgers. Lauren, maybe. Maybe we could just send it to him. He just needs to hear.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, the person that I was working with. And he doesn't disagree with you. We worked on it. But do you know who Ian Maxtone Graham is from Simpsons? He's one of the. He's been on sne, wrote on SNL and the Simpsons and did Veep and Man Seeking Woman. Brilliant guy. Like a Harvard Lampoon guy. And he. He is. As someone who worked in animation for a long time, was also like, yeah, I could see it. He wanted to do it live more.

[Pete Holmes]

Really.

[Christian Dugay]

But you know, when that. We didn't get any bites with the four times we pitched it. So we started talking about it, but we're still unsure.

[Pete Holmes]

That's interesting to me. I. I don't even trust my own instincts necessarily. It's not like I'm dyed in the wool TV producer, but I was like, it's got to be a cartoon. You couldn't have Mike O'Connell be your father in law.

[Christian Dugay]

Right. And it has to be him. I agree. I mean, it would be some really. It would have to be really great makeup. It's true.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't want to see Michael Connell in great old man makeup.

[Christian Dugay]

Maybe you do.

[Pete Holmes]

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[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And apologies for not knowing. I mean, a lot of people know you. You're a groundling. And you were on Mad Television, is that correct?

[Christian Dugay]

For a second, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What do you mean? Brief.

[Christian Dugay]

I was there briefly. It really wasn't. It was not a fun time for me, really. Just. No, I was. Wasn't ready for that level. How old? I was 30, I think.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Christian Dugay]

And it just. I just didn't really fit in there. People that watched it didn't. Didn't love me on it. My son, the other day, that Mad.

[Pete Holmes]

TV seems to skew towards the Joe Camel liking people.

[Christian Dugay]

I mean, it's. It's kids. And you get there and you're like that. You hear the audience laugh and you're like, those are all children. This is.

[Pete Holmes]

I wonder if that's what it was. It was like SNL for younger people.

[Christian Dugay]

I think so. I think it was skewed a little younger.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And you were gonna say, though. I interrupted. You got there, you were 30. You didn't fit in.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, I just. Yeah, I just. It wasn't for me, I was sort of, you know, it's a much bigger comedy. I came from the Groundlings, and I think that I found my voice long after that, being more just knowing where I was coming from, what. What I thought was funny. I was doing a lot. I always wanted to be on SNL when I was a kid, and so I really worked hard to. To be a sketch guy and an improv guy, but it was never quite my thing.

[Pete Holmes]

But when you got it, you must have been thrilled.

[Christian Dugay]

I was.

[Pete Holmes]

How did you audition? What was your.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, I auditioned like, three different years, and the first time I. My. I just did monologues that were so long and I had no idea. But then by the end, I was like, oh, just go in and get a couple laughs.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

So I had some characters. I just get a laugh, move on to the next character, and it. It just didn't quite click for me. My son, the other day, we were eating dinner, and he goes, you know, I was looking at one of your sketches on MADtv, and this guy wrote, oh, my God. Whenever this guy was on, I'd bring my friends in and we would just moan. Why did you tell me that? Then I felt bad because he thought it was really funny. He was like, oh, I thought you found it was funny. I was like, I think it just channeled this. I understand trauma from that time.

[Pete Holmes]

My friend Matt was like, I just read this horrible comment on this thing you did, and I was like.

[Christian Dugay]

Like, don't ever tell me. I don't even want to hear a good one. Just don't tell me any of it.

[Pete Holmes]

Leave me a. Leave. Leave me be. That is so funny. But it's so funny. On your list of impressions on your Wikipedia, the. Do you know what the first one is?

[Christian Dugay]

There's a list of impressions.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Who Adolf Hitler is. Your.

[Christian Dugay]

What would the. Anybody. That's funny. Anybody can do Adolf Hitler.

[Pete Holmes]

Screaming in German.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, I mean, but that. But the thing is, I'm not even. I'm singing. That's like.

[Pete Holmes]

You did a sketch.

[Christian Dugay]

Wasn't an impression. It was like a bit where. Remember when Elton John was doing duets with all. He did them with all these different people. So they did a bit where somebody was Elton John and then I was. And then in one of them, he was doing it with all these different weird historical figures, and one of them was Hitler. But he. He was like. He was like. He sang, like, unforgettable. So that was not. That was. That was not a Hitler impression.

[Pete Holmes]

No, that.

[Christian Dugay]

Nonetheless, that is. That's funny too. That's just someone going in and adding things, I think.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's what happens when it's an open source website.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

It also said Leno. I feel like that's another a lot.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, anyone can do that. I mean, back. I think back then it was. Nobody was doing it. But the problem with that was that the joke was kind of with Leno, is that the jokes aren't really that funny. So then if you do a joke about jokes that aren't funny, it's not funny.

[Pete Holmes]

I completely agree. And that's sort of a pet peeve of mine is when people do the character who's bad at stand up.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. It's like, what? And I'm like, we know this.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

We came here to not have this.

[Pete Holmes]

Or the bad magician. You see that just as much. It's like, well, what if he stinks?

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, really? I haven't seen that bit. That would be.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, Steve Martin did it. Well, but I mean, because he was brief. It was brief, but I've seen long bad magician gags and I'm just like, yeah, magic's really fucking hard. That's the point. It's kind of your point about music. Music is really hard. So it's funnier that you're.

[Christian Dugay]

If you're making fun of the music. It's like it's. Yeah, yeah, that's easy.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I just had this other area that I was gonna go to. This is like Valley Heat. Well, you heard that.

[Christian Dugay]

So you heard that. I don't even know where that came from. But I have to say it after every time I. Every. Every people have said, so you heard. That is really funny.

[Pete Holmes]

So you heard that.

[Christian Dugay]

I'm like, I guess I have to say that.

[Pete Holmes]

But that goes back to Doug. So after he plays a clip, a recording of his therapist or whatever, he comes back. So you heard that. And it's usually after something insane, and that's that Zen kind of. He's like a stone in a river. Everything's just kind of flowing over. He's like, you heard that? It's like someone just crashed into your house and you're just like, so you heard that?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a great attitude. Towards life.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, towards life.

[Pete Holmes]

So. And then what. What was. What have you done in your career? Mad TV was brief and now we're here at Valley Heat. What was in between that?

[Christian Dugay]

So I did Mad tv and then I was not on Mad tv and I.

[Pete Holmes]

How did you get canned? Was it hard?

[Christian Dugay]

Well, it hurt for sure. But I really was unhappy. I.

[Pete Holmes]

Who was on your season?

[Christian Dugay]

Alex Borstein and Stephanie Weir. Stephanie Weir was on. She had just. She was new as I was. And Andy Daly and Mike McDonald. Alex Borstein. Deborah was on it. Aries was on it. And Will Sasso.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. Yeah. Very funny, people. And they brought you. Is it like the classic they brought you in, or did your manager just say they're not bringing you back?

[Christian Dugay]

They waited until the day that the contract had to be renewed or canned. And then there was after business hours, and my manager had to call and they're like, yeah, like somebody hiding under their desk. Yeah, we're not doing.

[Pete Holmes]

We're not. What if you had the contract and you fold it in like MAD magazine.

[Christian Dugay]

And it says, all right, today's the day.

[Pete Holmes]

It says, I knew it. What do you get when you. It's like a riddle and it goes, you're not coming back. Can.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If you're laughing, you're over 40. I mean, like, if you remember Mad fold.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

So how did you bounce back? That must have been a big blow. Were you still with the Groundlings?

[Christian Dugay]

I was still with the Groundlings and I kept doing that, and then I got a job as a story editor at MTV with Reality Stuff.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay.

[Christian Dugay]

So I wanted to get back into comedy. Started doing stand up.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

And it was terrifying. Just like. Because I originally came here to do stand up.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Christian Dugay]

And I was terrified and didn't do it and went to Groundlings.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, wow. That's what all the standups think, by the way.

[Christian Dugay]

What?

[Pete Holmes]

We're all like, oh, yeah, you couldn't do stand up.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, they're right. They're right. But it comes back. You go, God damn it, I can't.

[Pete Holmes]

Is that. Is that your experience? First of all, I want to say there are. I keep saying, dyed in the wool, but there are dyed in the wool true improvisers that. You're like, holy shit, that is an amazing sketch person. Like, I wouldn't want Kristen Wiig in a million years to do stand up. Nobody thinks Kristen Wiig can't do stand.

[Christian Dugay]

Up and she's brilliant.

[Pete Holmes]

And then there are. I mean, the reason I know that is because I made that choice for a long time. I was, like, kind of high. I was a stand up hiding in improv teams because.

[Christian Dugay]

Is that true? You were doing improvisation?

[Pete Holmes]

I was briefly kind before I really dove into stand up. So I understand that I'm projecting myself on to you, but what was your experience with stand up?

[Christian Dugay]

Well, it's funny you say the improv thing, because I. I don't know if you remember. You probably weren't here yet, but there used to be another improv in Santa Monica.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Christian Dugay]

And it. After the Northridge earthquake, I think it burned down or something. But when you did an open mic, you went to this improv and you signed up to go up there in 30 days. And I got there, and I had never done stand up.

[Pete Holmes]

I'd never done it in 30 days.

[Christian Dugay]

And. And I went, and it was a packed house. And this is the improv. The improv to me was just something I saw on television when I was a kid.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

And I sat there for about 10 minutes, and I just go, I'm not going up. He goes, what? I'm not going up because. Okay. And he scratched it off. And I walked out so dejected. And I ran into a guy at the. On the promenade who I knew from some improv classes. He was like, yeah, do improv, because at least you're up there with other people. And so I did for many years.

[Pete Holmes]

You know, you might think that I. I might guess that you would think that. I think that story is, like, stupid or something. I love that story. Stand up is not like a packed house. It's your first time. Get out of there. Like, you don't. You. Very funny person. That's not how you should do it. You're supposed to be in a laundromat.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

For six people.

[Christian Dugay]

And that's what I knew after I had done that for years and mad TV and all that. I was like, you have to start.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

At the beginning. You cannot just step into this.

[Pete Holmes]

It's actually bad for you. Even if you do well. That's not correct. Like, you kind of. I don't know. It's almost like you have to work out more and get strong before you're in the game. Like, don't get in the game.

[Christian Dugay]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

You haven't done any drills. Like, do your drills. So, I mean, I had a couple.

[Christian Dugay]

Ideas that I'd written down in a little notebook.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Get out of there. Because it also would have scarred you. It would have been a. Probably a traumatic experience. Maybe. We don't know. So leaving and running into a guy, that's a good story. But then you went back to it after.

[Christian Dugay]

It was always something that I wanted to be good at.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

And I think I got to. Everyone I know now. I know through having gone back and doing stand up and. And I think I got. You know, I had my moments. I You know, I would love to go back, but it still is something makes me so nervous.

[Pete Holmes]

I just love that about you, though. I think you're so funny. And that sensitivity that makes you nervous. When I say sensitivity, I really mean an artistic temperament.

[Christian Dugay]

You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

Like, sensitivity isn't like being a candy. It's. It's a hyper awareness and a vulnerability, which is why you're able to, like, create and make so many people joyful with your. With your stuff. That's also the other side of that sword is like, I can't. You know what I mean? Like, I. What am I?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like, I wouldn't change it for the world. And yet I'm sort of surprised because when I hear, like, the Joe Camel thing, thing, I'm like, if we could just get you doing. What am I, your manager saying? You could just say what you.

[Christian Dugay]

I keep telling you, Pete, I can't do it.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm on a car phone in a Corvette. Just do what you do on the podcast.

[Christian Dugay]

Now he's going. He wants me to stand up again. Hold on. Listen. God damn it. I. I would love to do it. And I love the idea of doing it. And I can do it. It's just. You know what I never got? I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but you can never simulate what it is to be standing on stage live, no matter what. I never. Every time, I know you got it. This time.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

This time you've got your jokes, you get there, you're like, I don't have it. I don't have anything. I've got nothing.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna agree with you because what's funny about Valley Heat is you have the control. That's what's brilliant about it, is you.

[Christian Dugay]

It is the control.

[Pete Holmes]

Wait till you're in the mood. Or you can warm up and get in the mood. So you're talking about doing things again and then you're editing it. And that's the way to. Archaeologist soft brush off. Christian De Gay. And there. There he is.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Comedy, like live comedy, stand up comedy, is a very unnatural thing. And the older I get, the more I realize what a toll it takes on me is to deliver yourself in a certain state of playfulness and desire to connect. And when sometimes you do feel playful and you want to connect.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like most of the time, some of my best shows, I'm like, I don't have anything. And. And it's just like this forcing and it gets in your muscles and then you Start, like, muscle memory.

[Christian Dugay]

I think it's really important for that. I can see how that. That's true. And I never really got to that point where I could feel that free up there. It just. The experience of the green room and the dreariness of, like, it's just a weird place to sit.

[Pete Holmes]

You're making.

[Christian Dugay]

Just sit here.

[Pete Holmes]

This is what we do.

[Christian Dugay]

We sit here and we don't know each other.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

And you look at your phone and you're fine. You're fine.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm dead. What you are highlighting, I think needs to be printed on billboards all around town, which is the overlap. I'm a lucky person in that here's talent and comedy, and then here's ability to tolerate banal, bizarre, uncomfortable, unnatural situations.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Some of the. Everyone in stand up will tell you this. Some of the funniest people in the world. No shot. They never had a shot. I'm not saying this about you, by the way. I'm just saying they're hilarious. But they go in a green room and they're like, what is this?

[Christian Dugay]

There's something about the limbo of that room. And especially five other comedians. None of them know each other, but they're all really comfortable.

[Pete Holmes]

You're making me barf.

[Christian Dugay]

It's. I can't.

[Pete Holmes]

I just.

[Christian Dugay]

I can't believe it. I'm like, jesus Christ, how do you do this?

[Pete Holmes]

And. And when you look at the humiliations and the degrade, like, waiting in line to sign up for an open mic, like, that's a certain kind of. It's almost like a salesman grit. It's like, well, if you want to close the deal, you got to drive to Boise.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's like.

[Christian Dugay]

And they're probably going to be butterfingers in a hotel room for the rest of your life. Forget about taking a crap.

[Pete Holmes]

You're done. I would do.

[Christian Dugay]

I'd be in hotel rooms just, like, eating ice cream and going over my lines. My biggest fear is always forgetting my joke.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm dead.

[Christian Dugay]

Do you? Do you?

[Pete Holmes]

I completely agree. And again, another skill of doing standup is squashing or ignoring those fears until they're gone. Again, I'm not giving you guys. I'm such a fan. I admire everything you do. So there's no part of me trying to get you to be like me. But I'm just saying, like, what are the chances that someone who's funny can also be sensitive enough to write jokes about reality? Which means you're overwhelmed most of the time.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Jokes are coming from a place of like, this is fucking weird. And you're compelled to say to people, are you seeing this? And then you feel better. So that's like your Xanax. But everything leading up to the moment where you're on stage doing that is so bizarre. It really is like being at an orgy or something, and you're just not comfortable.

[Christian Dugay]

And every time, every time, it's like this gauntlet did the drive there, and you're like, God, why do I do this?

[Pete Holmes]

You're killing me. The drive there. How about a flight home? That's even worse. It's so vulnerable. I pitched a show yesterday, Chris, and I was driving here and I was like, why am I in a bad mood? And it's because I real. And I didn't even know this. 45 years old. I've been doing comedy for over 20 years. I'm still slow on the uptick to go. Like, you just pitched a show. You just put your fucking neck on the line and you're leaning in for the kids and you're pretty sure they're gonna say no.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You might be a little grumpy today. Like, that's.

[Christian Dugay]

But you can't put your finger on. You can't put your fingers, like, rattled. And.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, I said to Val, I was like, I don't know why I'm in a bad mood today. And on the drive down. I live in Ojai, by the way.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, that's great. That's great. My father in law does live in Ohio.

[Pete Holmes]

Does he really?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Get the out of here. So I have a long drive here, which I love because I have, you know, I just. I'm an introverted person. I love a long.

[Christian Dugay]

I love drives.

[Pete Holmes]

I love a long drive. When I listen to my Valley Heat, it's like when someone says, this seems like a Valley Heat thing. It's like. Like I like having a cocktail. But you don't want to call it my martini. Like, as soon as you call it my.

[Christian Dugay]

Like, you cross the threshold, my martini.

[Pete Holmes]

I go home, I have my martini. Like, that's when you know something's wrong.

[Christian Dugay]

That's when you're alive. When you have your martini.

[Pete Holmes]

It's your medicine.

[Christian Dugay]

This isn't even me.

[Pete Holmes]

Nothing makes me sad. Or like mommy needs her medicine or like I'm low a quart. I'm just like, we're so stuck in these fucking things. And I don't drink, but I do go like, God damn it, I need a cookie right now. Like, there's microbes in me.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. There is like an hour where you're like, what's the thing I put in my body at this hour? And I just feel better. But then you don't.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I tell you, that's a premise I've been trying to get to work for a long time, which, as I go, when I wake up, I want coffee. After I have my coffee, I want food. After I have my food, I feel a little too slow, so I want more coffee. Then I feel a little too high. Then I want to, like, relax. So, like, take a nap. And I'm like. The punchline is, you know how I want to feel different.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That's. That's the only. That's the human experience. I. I could be in euphoria, and I'd be like, this is getting a bit much.

[Christian Dugay]

Absolutely.

[Pete Holmes]

Time to curb this.

[Christian Dugay]

How can I change this? We need to change this. I need a different euphoria.

[Pete Holmes]

Could it be more mysterious? Yeah, it's a little obvious.

[Christian Dugay]

The best, though, is when you forget that it exists. You go, oh, coffee. You, like, forgot one of the chemicals.

[Pete Holmes]

You go, oh, you've nailed it.

[Christian Dugay]

Coffee.

[Pete Holmes]

Can I tell you something? I do something called I do. It's so boring. It's the most LA thing I could say. I got it from Jimmy Kimmel. It's five days, you eat. Two days, you fast. You eat. One fourth of your calories is almost over.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay. The point, this is the story is almost.

[Pete Holmes]

I. That's my favorite warning to give people. I go, this is boring, but it's almost over. So yesterday was a fast day, which means I only have about 500 calories, which is almost nothing.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

But it's enough to, you know, you can get something and you don't go crazy. But anyway, on those days, food is off the table. And I've noticed that, like, you just go to anything else, and then you realize you're not really hungry.

[Christian Dugay]

You just.

[Pete Holmes]

You just want something to rub on you and get in you. I would even include flossing as something you can do to just be like I'm alive. Like you're bleeding.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

You just want something.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Give me coffee. You live by coffee. Give me a nap. Give me jacking it. Whatever. Something.

[Christian Dugay]

I think it's the thought feeling. I think it's the thoughts. There's too many thoughts. Too many thoughts. Like, I can be digesting.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

Then my brain kind of shuts down.

[Pete Holmes]

You're absolutely right. The food coma.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Eating. Eating pizza makes you stop thinking about and.

[Christian Dugay]

Or coffee. You're kind of Flying for a second. You. And then you have to come back down.

[Pete Holmes]

I've really been paying close attention to weed. Like, for some reason. Something about this. I'm not a big weed guy, but lately I've been. I don't know, I. I just have been smoking more weed. Not a lot.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

More regularly. And I've noticed. Tell me if you. Have.

[Christian Dugay]

You.

[Pete Holmes]

Have you smoked weed?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, for a long time. I mean, I did. I went to music school, so that's really the only thing you do in music school. But then I stopped for years, and whenever I would smoke, I. I'd get so paranoid.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, really?

[Christian Dugay]

But now I. Now I've. I've been able to enjoy it.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, okay. That's great.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, then tell me if you agree. The best part of weed is when it comes on. It's. It's when you're still. You have one foot in sober.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And high is showing up. And you're like. Because you have the contrast.

[Christian Dugay]

You.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I did feel that way. And now I'm feeling this way. Oh, no. Yeah, you're leaving Earth.

[Christian Dugay]

Where was there?

[Pete Holmes]

And then when you're high, you're just high.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Then you're just like, well, I'm just high now.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And then you're like, maybe I'll get more high. Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

And then your body's like, yeah, because you want.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, this again.

[Christian Dugay]

Maybe I gotta go all the way in.

[Pete Holmes]

And then if you're like me, you smoke more, you don't get more high. You just get more dissociative.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So you're not even having an interference.

[Christian Dugay]

I only think about death to me and loved ones. I'm like, that happens. And then that happens. And. Oh, you're high. You're high. You're high. Watch. Bob Newhart.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm so with you. I'm pretty practiced at going like. You just have to agree with it. It's like everyone you know is going to die. And you go, you're right. Good job.

[Christian Dugay]

You're right.

[Pete Holmes]

You can't argue with it. You have to be like Doug Dugay. You'd be like, I'll take that remark and then continue with your day in the valley.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. A lot of valley he does have to do. I feel like it has vaguely a lot of death. There's something to do with death, I think more in the Good Morning Burbanks. I think that's interesting. Death is something that's always kind of on my. I have a big skeleton by my back door that I high five just to remind myself that, like, oh, you high five it. And I think that it helps me because I had not thought about death for so long after my dad died. I was like, you're gonna just. You're gonna die.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, you have to make friends.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. Make friends with it. That's what it is. I'm trying to do that. And so maybe that's helped me with relaxing, with.

[Pete Holmes]

It's funny because I. I'm with you. What I noticed about Valley Heat is it's like, it's, you know, there's like salty, spicy, sweet, umami. Valley Heat is doing a good job at finding all of the flavors. Meaning there's conflict, but then there's also violence. Like, violence. And the threat of violence.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Is like, yeah. Tell you. Tell me, Chris.

[Christian Dugay]

No, I'm with you. I'm with you.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm gonna. This. I want you to.

[Christian Dugay]

I think I'm fascinated by. By. With. With violence. And I find it obviously horrible, but also just funny that so much of it occurs.

[Pete Holmes]

That's it. Well, we're talking about getting high and realizing that you're vulnerable. Like when you're really high and it's like your heart could stop.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And the only defense is to agree with it. Like, yes. I. I was so high recently, and it was like, what if you choked and died? And I was like, then I'll choke. And that's it. You just have to concede the point.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That's making friends with it. You can't be like, that's not gonna happen. It'll be like, it might.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'm telling you. And don't overthink it. Keep Valley Heat clean and pure. But in the basement of the show, what. What does life feel like if we're out here and we're so exposed and we're so vulnerable and life is so strange? Other than a foosball. A used foosball table place that is like, don't come here on Monday.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Between these hours.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That, to me, helps me laugh at. Like, you could get hit by a car. Like, that's the non comedy version of like. There's these foosball players who are incredibly competitive and they'll punch you in the neck.

[Christian Dugay]

You can randomly get very hurt.

[Pete Holmes]

They'll randomly kill you. So you're finding a way to get us to laugh at something that's very scary.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, also, the idea that you're like, stand up, I think is a good parallel to it because it's like, yeah, you want to do foosball's fun. And then you get there, and it's like, stand up's like, get the fuck out of here. Get out.

[Pete Holmes]

We don't want you. You've just taken me back to Little League. Do you want to wear a uniform and have a bat and.

[Christian Dugay]

That sounds awesome. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You get there, and someone calls you the F word.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. You're like. You're like, oh, I thought it was. We were having fun.

[Pete Holmes]

I thought this was fun.

[Christian Dugay]

I thought it was fun.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's so much of life. And again, one of the recurring themes of Valheat is like. And you just roll with it. You just.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

What can you do?

[Christian Dugay]

Like, that's. That's what it's like. Yeah, you. Sometimes you die if you put. I don't. Do you play foosball?

[Pete Holmes]

Because I'm not even.

[Christian Dugay]

It is such an upsetting game, really, in a work environment. It's like.

[Pete Holmes]

It's the one where you spin the guys, right?

[Christian Dugay]

You spin the guys. You would think that's just a fun game for kids, but if you get four adults playing the game, it's really. Friendships ruin. There's something about it. Rattling. It's like just body rattling about it.

[Pete Holmes]

Is it. Because if we're on a team and they score, it's like, your fault. I'm mad at you.

[Christian Dugay]

I had somebody at. We had a foosball table at work, and we were playing. We lost, and the guy was playing with what? He was going up the stairs, he turned right. You know, you might think about. No, I'm not gonna say it. I'm not. I'm not gonna. It's like, wow, this is a game we're just playing. But you can't really blame him because you get so upset.

[Pete Holmes]

I will relate. I'll take that remark because when I play, there's a telephone Pictionary game I don't. It's called telestrations. Maybe. Doesn't matter. I'll get the clue. And the clue is singing in the shower.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I will, in my opinion, draw. Look, I'm a New Yorker publisher, cartoonist. You understand?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You are? I am. Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

Wait, what is this?

[Pete Holmes]

This.

[Christian Dugay]

Tell me this.

[Pete Holmes]

No, it's.

[Christian Dugay]

Tell me afterwards.

[Pete Holmes]

That's the only good part, is you get to brag every once in a while afterwards.

[Christian Dugay]

But just tell me that.

[Pete Holmes]

That's a. That's a Doug. Apparently, he's had some cartoons in the New Yorker. I mean, I. I don't. Why. Why is he living here? So anyway, I draw what I think is a perfect singing. It's a man in a shower. I do the speech bubble with music notes, and I. I pass it to the next person he's just supposed to write singing in the shower than the next person draws it. It comes back to me, and it's like floating down the Mississippi. I'll get mad.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'll be like, I shock myself. But I'm like, how could you have thought this was. Yelling at my neighbor, like, that's what you wrote. He's in the shower. He's like, I thought that was rain. It's like, yeah, what's the. There's a spigot. It's like, I thought that was the sun. I can get that way. When it comes to, like, drawings specifically, that's like Pictionary.

[Christian Dugay]

Did you see the. The Charles Schultz documentary where I don't know if I have, you know, the exclamations that he would write, like, with different letters. The first one, he swear.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

It was like, ah, a G, H. Someone changed it to, like, a H. He was like, maybe you should do it. Maybe you should be doing these cartoons.

[Pete Holmes]

That is so funny.

[Christian Dugay]

It was very. He would get furious.

[Pete Holmes]

This is not shots fired. One time I pitched Bo Burnham a tag, and almost like, a bit, he just went, you do it.

[Christian Dugay]

He had that one.

[Pete Holmes]

We laugh.

[Christian Dugay]

He had that one loaded.

[Pete Holmes]

He was ready. He just didn't want to hear it. Like, but these really are artists. Like, Bo is a genius and an artist. And I'm like, you know what you could say? He just goes, you do it. We both laugh. But it was also a little Charles Schultz.

[Christian Dugay]

Like, yeah. And you're kind of like, what's actually a good idea?

[Pete Holmes]

Some people don't want anyone else in their car.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, stay out of my car.

[Christian Dugay]

And it probably varies, too. Sometimes someone does want help with it.

[Pete Holmes]

And sometimes, you know, who wants help?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I just told you. Mulaney gave me fun. I mean, like, yeah. Comedy is so hard. I'm not. When. When you say cheat, cheat means, like, stealing jokes or, you know, unethical stuff. I don't mean that, but I mean, like, if someone wants to help you.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

If they give you a line, my opener will always be like, did you consider there's. There's this? And I'm like, holy shit. And I'm doing the same for him. Like, that's great. Don't go it alone Valley Heat.

[Christian Dugay]

Don't let it alone.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't let me text you Valley Heat stuff.

[Christian Dugay]

No, do, please.

[Pete Holmes]

Did you really? Again, when I listen to Valley Heat, it Reminds me to like novelize and, and sort of narrativize my own life. Life. And you bring up these things. Like, like when you were talking about that dirt bike. I remember my dad put a certain amount of money in a. In like an IRA account or something like that.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And if you put in, let's say it was $5,000, you got a free camcorder. So I was really pushing him to put in. 5000.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like 2500 was like a, you know, an alarm clock.

[Christian Dugay]

I love those gifts.

[Pete Holmes]

Those deals changed my life.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

So he gets the Sylvania shoulder mounted VHS camera. We. I mean, it literally changed my life. And I kind of had the feeling I'm probably adding this, this is going to change my life. It did. But then I'm also the, you know, I'm kind of a soft, round boy and I have a video camera, you know, like, that's a. That's sort of a target.

[Christian Dugay]

You get the cool thing.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a target.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, my God. You think it's going to be so cool. And it's the, it's the. I had. When I was a kid. I got. I mean, it sounds. I wanted this. It's a Porsche, but it's like a really cheap Porsche. It's called. It was a 914. It's like basically a Volkswagen.

[Pete Holmes]

It's a car.

[Christian Dugay]

But I wanted this. Yes. I wanted this car. Then I got it and it was like, you're the worst person. I would. People would actually pick it up and move it somewhere else in the parking. The school parking lot. And then it. And then I crashed it. And I mean, the joy that people felt. I mean, and you can't blame them. I was not an expensive car, but it was way more flair than any child should have.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm dead. I. The Sears catalog, which was the Internet. Yes, before the Internet.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

And I'll look in the toys. I'd look at the bras, obviously, but I'd also look at the toys. Masturbate to both. But they were.

[Christian Dugay]

To the toys.

[Pete Holmes]

There were these walkie talkies that looked like cell phones. Like flip phones. Yeah, I bought them back then you had to wait like six weeks.

[Christian Dugay]

So these are not Star Trek style. They just flip open, though. So they feel like Star Trek.

[Pete Holmes]

It was a total scam. Yeah. It wasn't. It wasn't that. They look like gray flip phones.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, wait, they're. Sorry, they're cell phones. They're not.

[Pete Holmes]

But they're walkie talkies.

[Christian Dugay]

They're walkie talkies.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah, they are walkie talkies.

[Christian Dugay]

Because I had Star Trek walkie talkies.

[Pete Holmes]

I know that was just on the episode. It probably made me think of it.

[Christian Dugay]

Part of it was true.

[Pete Holmes]

Did somebody that broke it or stole it or.

[Christian Dugay]

We'll. I'll tell you later. Finish this story. Go ahead.

[Pete Holmes]

So well, I think I bought it and I was like, I'm going to give one to my best friend Aaron and I'm going to have one and we can like call each other. Cuz all I wanted in eighth grade was to be like talking to my teacher. Like, sorry, one second.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

But of course it sucks. It's not a phone.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. It's a low. It's like it's making all these.

[Pete Holmes]

It also can't ring. It has to be on. Yes, it's a walkie talkie.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

So I can have it on. Like what is this, Aaron? Also it was a school with two rooms. Aaron couldn't be very far. It was not a big school. And what are we talking about?

[Christian Dugay]

It's just. Just that you're doing it. It.

[Pete Holmes]

But I brought you. It's just having it, you mean?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I brought it in and we try one day. This is my Porsche. This is. And also the video camera. So I was filming also Aaron. And we were filming a. Making a video and then these kids, Boston were across the street and they're like, hey. They wanted us to film them and we did. And then they just stormed us and took the camera.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh my God, that's amazing.

[Pete Holmes]

Then they didn't have. They had like a crisis of conscious. They didn't steal it.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, they just wanted to show you that they could. I guess they just.

[Pete Holmes]

In the moment they were like, send a message.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I think in the moment they realized that that's not who they were.

[Christian Dugay]

I pulled a knife on a kid when I was. And he just grabbed it and threw it. And I was like, yeah, you pulled a knife? Yeah, I used to talk about this. It would stand a bit. I pulled a knife. I put a switchblade in my switch.

[Pete Holmes]

Suck, by the way. For people who didn't grow up in the 80s, that seemed like what we were supposed to do.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Every movie told us, where's your switchblade? Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

He came at me and I was. I pulled it out. He goes, what are you gonna do with that? And grabbed it, just threw it in the woods. And I was like, I'm. I. I know who I am now.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Christian Dugay]

I don't stab people.

[Pete Holmes]

And These kids realized they had a learning moment.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And we played the video back. It was like watching the Trauma.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because I thought they just wanted to be my friend. And then they took the camera. So when you tell the story, I wonder how much of it was true. That there was a girl that you liked and you gave her a necklace. Is that.

[Christian Dugay]

I really did do that.

[Pete Holmes]

That felt true.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. I got her a necklace and a little license plate with her name on it. And I told her that I found the necklace on my way to school. I go, I found this. You wanted this necklace. And then later in the day, I was like, I got you this. This little. It was second grade. I got her this little. It said Jean on it. And then she came back a few minutes later on the playground and was like, did you buy these for me? And I was like, no, I didn't buy the necklace, but I did buy the license plate.

[Pete Holmes]

I don't know why, but you just brought the feeling of being in second grade right up to the high sphincter.

[Christian Dugay]

I was a guy who, if I had the thought, I had to do it. I had to try.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow. Well, you said that story. You go, I had intense confidence between 9pm and 11pM and that was a great.

[Christian Dugay]

So true. Every night I would think I was gonna do it. Every night I'm like, you're gonna do it? You're gonna do it. You wake up, you're like, what are you talking about?

[Pete Holmes]

A different guy wakes up. A different guy wakes up.

[Christian Dugay]

A guy who's in, like, the reality. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I. It vividly brought me back to having a crush on a girl. This was insane. 7th grade, and I found a rock. This was a real turning point in my life. Romantic. Like you. Like, I wanted to get the necklace.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

I wanted to give the gifts and the personalized license plate. So I found this rock that kind of reminded me of the girl.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, it's great because it's so beautiful.

[Pete Holmes]

It's so beautiful.

[Christian Dugay]

Such a beautiful thing. And it'll make no sense to anyone.

[Pete Holmes]

No one will get it. And that's what it was. But unfortunately, it's sort of a loss of innocent. Story is I didn't give it to her because I was developing the faculty that goes, don't do that.

[Christian Dugay]

Don't give her a rock.

[Pete Holmes]

Don't give.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you know what?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Anyone watching that would be like, sorry, you're giving her a rock. Like, it sucks. You went every part of it. She didn't throw it away.

[Christian Dugay]

No, I don't Know what she did? It was hot. I don't know if you know what Holly Hobby is.

[Pete Holmes]

It was.

[Christian Dugay]

It was like a big brand. When I was a. When I was a kid, it was like girls, little girls. Jewelry.

[Pete Holmes]

The vulnerability of that.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

How old are your kids?

[Christian Dugay]

20.

[Pete Holmes]

20. Okay.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. They're twins.

[Pete Holmes]

No way. Both of them?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Get out of here. I'm gonna say little people jokes. I'm not saying you should make little people jokes. Twin jokes. Very close to little. Like, in ease of making them.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Very easy.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

To be like, my birthday. Is this both of you?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean? Like, it's too easy. Little people jokes. I'm not going to give you an example. It's too lazy. I don't have any respect for what I just did. But you just want to do it. So anyway, you've helped me compartmentalize my life. We're here at the 90 minute market, which is when we always talk about the meaning of life. We talked a little bit about your therapy. You could infuse some of that here. But I'm trying. I actually just gave myself this note. Don't I sound like I'm doing Valley Heat? I just gave myself this note. Stop telling the guests what you think about God and actually ask them what they think.

[Christian Dugay]

What? Tell me. I want to hear. Oh, you don't do that.

[Pete Holmes]

Because every episode, that's what happens. We just. No, no, I love it. That's actually my problem is there's. There's. I don't know if you. You know, I'm 45, and I'm. Sometimes things start to dry up and I'm looking for what actually excites me, and it's comedy. I love doing comedy and I love talking about the meaning of life. But the pro. The downside of that is we just had Joey McIntyre from New Kids on this podcast, and I realized. I was like. I just talked to him about my feelings about God and then he agreed with them. And I was like, that's not good. I need to stop doing that.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, I see. Because then they feel like they need to react to what you're saying. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And I throw out all these big words and I have receipts. I'm checking my references. And then people go like, yeah, it could be that. And that sucks. I want to stop doing that. So I'm just curious, do you have. And by. This is dumb to say, too. This is the safest place ever. You could believe in nothing but any sort of framework or guess or just way of interpreting this, like, what's going on here? Do you have any container to pour this mystery into?

[Christian Dugay]

Do I. You mean, do I believe in. Do I believe in God?

[Pete Holmes]

You could take it that way. Yeah. Or what's going on here?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. I. I don't know. It's such a. It's a huge question. It's a. It's tough to. It's one of them that I'll be driving home thinking, I should have said that.

[Pete Holmes]

No, no, no. Well, let me ask you this. And not to trivialize that you just lost your dad. Do you still feel a connection to your dad? Is that.

[Christian Dugay]

I do. I do feel a connection to him, but I don't know what I. You know, I don't know what I believe. It's hard. It's. It's hard. I. I think I'm going through this phase where I just feel like we don't really know anything at all. Like, you know, we're not like. Like a dog trying to understand the Internet. Yeah. Like a dog trying to open a door or something. Something. I feel like it's. Why are we different than that? Like, my dog's just like, I gotta go out. He'll come. He'll have to be in the bathroom. And he's like. And then I close the door. He's like, I want to be out of it. And he goes back and forth like, that's what we are. That's what we are. The door close. I gotta open the door.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

I closed again. I gotta open the door. And I don't know why we're any. Any different.

[Pete Holmes]

Why would we be different?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, why would we be any different than. But, you know, where do you draw the line? What's an ant doing? I don't know. I've been feeling guilty about. But there's ants in my house. And I killed a little ant, and I was like, yeah. No idea what was going through that ant's head.

[Pete Holmes]

I was thinking about that on the way down. I was thinking about disgraced people that still sell lots of tickets. Right. Like, people that have been, like, scandalized.

[Christian Dugay]

Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

And without going too much into that, I was just kind of like. Yeah. And I'm not even making, like, a vegan vegetarian point here. I'm like, our meals are murder ice cream. Like, we're just incentivizing things.

[Christian Dugay]

You're right.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm just saying, like, every. I'm not excusing it. I'm just saying human beings are pretty good. In fact, I would say masters at going, I like ice cream. I don't care if a cow was, like, on its feet for 6,000 hours and just impregnated over and over.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm not even going to go into the whole.

[Christian Dugay]

We don't even think about that because.

[Pete Holmes]

And similarly, it's like, oh, this. This person makes me laugh. I know. They were scandalized in this way. Who cares? Like, we're very good at just going like, this helps me.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Ice cream helps me. Entertainment helps me.

[Christian Dugay]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

We'll turn a blind eye. And similarly to your aunt thing, like, in this house we used to live here, there's a huge long line of ants. And I felt like a real piece of shit just going, I know.

[Christian Dugay]

And yet. I know, but what are you gonna do? Let ants.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm telling you, I know. That's what this. It's very Doug Dugay. It's very. Like, that's what this is.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Is sometimes there's ants and sometimes.

[Christian Dugay]

Sometimes there's. And I've had. That had ants in the garage and was going through a thing. I had crickets in the garage, and I didn't want to kill the cricket, and I didn't know what to do. And it was in the door. It was actually in my door. And it's.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, that's another phenomenon. It's like we. We're like. We're so compartmentalized. Meaning, Anyone? Most people. I'd say 8 out of 10 people. If you catch a mouse on a glue trap, you feel horrible.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And. And also those 8 out of 10 people will have chicken for lunch. And I'm not.

[Christian Dugay]

Not great. Right. But that chicken had a much worse life than that mouse.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Christian Dugay]

Question.

[Pete Holmes]

I had a mouse on a glue trap, and I put it outside, and I was like. I just imagined the horror.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Of being stuck. And in the morning, it was gone. And I'm like, no, I think something made it.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh. Or he walked. Maybe he learned how to walk with the trap.

[Pete Holmes]

He's got flippy flops on now.

[Christian Dugay]

I like to think that he's got.

[Pete Holmes]

But the trap was still there, scuba flipping.

[Christian Dugay]

He's just like, what are you doing? I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

It's just like we're all.

[Christian Dugay]

He snowboards on it.

[Pete Holmes]

He's Sonic the Hedgehog, basically. I. But we're very. We're very good at focusing on just what's in front of us.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, yeah. We think our problems are real and everyone else's are imagined.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Christian Dugay]

Even I think we just naturally do it.

[Pete Holmes]

It's really profound.

[Christian Dugay]

Even with our partners, we're like, yeah, but that's just in your head. It's like, well, it's all, it's all. None of this is, none of this is real. It's just.

[Pete Holmes]

Sir, I mean I really feel like this podcast has been great, but that moment is really, really, it's weird to say touched me, but I'm like, that's exactly right. Is you go around being like my.

[Christian Dugay]

Is this is real. You don't understand the circumstances.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Christian Dugay]

And everybody else else's.

[Pete Holmes]

And honestly, it's a self preservational thing because if you could consider everything, you would do absolutely nothing.

[Christian Dugay]

You know? What do you mean if you could consider everything?

[Pete Holmes]

The implications of any move. Like, it's easy to take cows. But then I, Neil Degrasse Tyson did this podcast and he really changed my world when he was like, well, your house is made out of the habitats of owls. Like, like you cut down owl habitats. Nuts.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Show me. Anyone who gives a about that. Show me. That person is maybe not schizophrenic, but paranoid. We would call that paranoia. It's like, I can't live there. That house belongs to an owl. You have to say off to something to be.

[Christian Dugay]

That's a funny philosophy. Look, you gotta say off to something. What are you gonna do? Let the ants eat you?

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, right? Well, Joseph Campbell had that thing too where he's like, vegetarians, vegans are not off the hook. You're still eating life. You're still eating like a tomato wants.

[Christian Dugay]

You could say funny, just angry at them. He's like, oh, a tomato's not alive. Okay.

[Pete Holmes]

I mean, well, you hold a knife up to certain plants and it will like here, Joseph, like move away.

[Christian Dugay]

Right, right.

[Pete Holmes]

They're true. But like. Or just because it doesn't have a central nervous system or like cognitive function, it certainly has a drive to be.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

But I'll put it in my blender and I don't give a fucking shit.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, there's certain, there's. There's something about life that is just intrinsically taking life from something else. Life being alive.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's what's so funny about money too is I've been tripping out lately. Everyone wants money, but the, the thing that has money are other people. So we're just trying to get each other.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You know what I mean? Like we have it.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And if we all put our hands up, this is kind of like communism or like different or social, like different ideas. It's like, why don't we just give it to each other. Yeah, but that actually really doesn't speak to the hunter and the primate and the animal.

[Christian Dugay]

Right.

[Pete Holmes]

That actually would promote. Prefer to play hide and go seek with the money.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And be like, I have it.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. I have to spend it on real things is what it is.

[Pete Holmes]

Mine is. My shit's important.

[Christian Dugay]

Right. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Okay. So what about. We're not sure about. One way into the God thing is like. Or the meaning of life thing is, is death is like. Do you think it's over when we die?

[Christian Dugay]

I don't know. I think about it all, you know, I think about it like anyone else constantly.

[Pete Holmes]

Constantly.

[Christian Dugay]

And I, you know, I. I've always thought that there was. There was a. Another consciousness. Yeah. I've gone through stages of believing in a Christian God and. And your namesake. That was just sort of. Yeah, right.

[Pete Holmes]

You're looking at your license. Like, what should I. Oh, it's right in my name. It's.

[Christian Dugay]

He's been there all the time. But I've. I've gone through stages of that and I, I don't. I, I really. I guess the word is agnostic.

[Pete Holmes]

Right.

[Christian Dugay]

I. I just don't.

[Pete Holmes]

You don't think human beings have the capacity to.

[Christian Dugay]

Is that what agnostic is, then? It's not the word. I don't know what the word is. It's a word. It's just.

[Pete Holmes]

It's.

[Christian Dugay]

Obviously we aren't the smartest thing. We didn't come from nothing.

[Pete Holmes]

Let's ask Chat GPT. Let's ask the robot. We could ask Katie. It's more fun to use.

[Christian Dugay]

It would be great if Chat GPT could tell us what the meaning of life was. Oh.

[Pete Holmes]

What is the definition of agnostic in 25 words, please?

[Christian Dugay]

Agnostic refers to someone who believes the existence of God or the divine is unknown or unknowable, neither affirming nor denying religious or spiritual claims. That sounds like the right word.

[Pete Holmes]

That's pretty good.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. I said that it wasn't possible for human beings.

[Christian Dugay]

I don't know that it's not. I guess, in a way, I think it's not possible. I mean, if. If we're looking at the universe and thinking, well, how did it get here? We obviously have reached the limit of what we can understand because it probably has nothing to do with a beginning or an end. Like it. You know what I mean?

[Pete Holmes]

I agree.

[Christian Dugay]

So beyond.

[Pete Holmes]

I agree with that.

[Christian Dugay]

What we could possibly. It's like it's expanding. Is it you? I don't think you have any Idea what is happening. I mean, obviously it's. Science is, is a wonderful thing and very necessary.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I'm with you on that.

[Christian Dugay]

But, but, and we need to be measuring. I mean, I'm really getting into idiot territory here. I don't know.

[Pete Holmes]

No, I'll join you in idiot territory. But the, the hubris. It's a hypothesis. It's like there's evidence that points to the, the idea that the universe is expanding, but nobody has a tape measure out to the edge of the universe and they're going, look, look, look, look. Yeah, but there was somebody smarter than us. Could be like, but the reason we think that, like, yeah, I remember where I was when somebody was like, the reason why we believe in the Big bang is there's like radiation of an explosion that they can measure. And like, it seems like, it seems.

[Christian Dugay]

Like a good, A really good theory.

[Pete Holmes]

Still a theory.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And any scientists, in fact, that that's the foundation of science is like, we think maybe this. Until the evidence suggests otherwise. What's interesting. You want to hear my woo woo response?

[Christian Dugay]

I do.

[Pete Holmes]

And then I talk for 45 minutes and you just start crying. Blood.

[Christian Dugay]

A cigarette just comes out of my mouth. Smoke already lit.

[Pete Holmes]

Already lit. No, it's really short, actually. I think when it comes to the meaning of life. Oh God, I'm just realizing how I might sound, but it's how I feel. You can't know it, but you can be it. Meaning what you are before all of the ideas of what you are, man. This age with your experiences, your thoughts, your memories, but the blank slate of what you are, the empty space of what you are is what the whole thing is. So you can't know it. You can't even really talk about it. But you can settle down. This is kind of what meditation is. You can settle down to the place where you are it. And as somebody who's had more than my fair share of like, mystical experiences, whether on psychedelics or otherwise, the frustration for the, for the ego, for you and I as Pete and Christian, is that when you come back, you can't bring it with you. We. We often joke that it's like carrying some of the ocean and you're trying to walk it to your car, and by the time you get to the car, it's completely gone. And that's just what this is. So there is something beautiful in surrendering and just going like, we don't know it. I would say both. And we don't know we are dogs.

[Christian Dugay]

We know some things.

[Pete Holmes]

We are it, though. And. And, yeah, yeah. It's like when people are like, look inside or find out who you really are or know thyself. On the. The temple of Delphi says know thyself.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That doesn't mean figure out that Christian doesn't like switchblades. You know what I mean? It's not like a list of attributes. It's to know that which doesn't change. When you were five years old, you had a sense of being yourself, and now you're 50 something, you have the same sense. So they call that the golden thread. Like, what gives you the experience of continuity? Even as your beliefs have changed, your body has changed cellularly. Every seven years, you have a new body. You and I are both divorced, so we used to be someone else's husband. So everything's changing. But there's this through line of continuity that we call being myself.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And that I, which is the common name for being myself, is the only I there is. So the more you sink and relax into it, you won't necessarily explain the universe, but you can taste the fundamental building block of everything that is.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes. Yeah, I agree with that.

[Pete Holmes]

That's what I did to Joey McIntyre. See, I'm doing it.

[Christian Dugay]

No, I agree with that. I had this thing when I was a kid where I used to have this long walk from the bus stop where I was dropped off through the desert to my house, and I would have these really contemplative walks, and I used to do this thing that would. I would freak myself out. I would repeat, I am me. I am me. And there was a thing that there was a point when I would reach this strange sense of myself beyond my body. And it was terrifying, but I used to kind of dare myself to do it.

[Pete Holmes]

Wow.

[Christian Dugay]

But it started for probably a couple months and then went away. But it seemed applicable to what you're talking about.

[Pete Holmes]

No, absolutely.

[Christian Dugay]

This sense of. It's strange to think that you're this body walking around that's just gonna die, and there's something within that that is part of all of history. You can feel it. Yeah. And when you get really close to it, it can feel wonderful, but it can also feel terrifying.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, my favorite teacher, Rupert Spira, talks about the moth and the flame. Like we're drawn to the truth. Truth. But we know that to really go into it would be subsumed or consumed by the flame. So the moth wants it and is also terrifying.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. You're getting really close.

[Pete Holmes]

So you're talking about, like, the dog and the door. Like, it's the moth and the flame.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's life.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. If you show the dog how to open it, it's like, now I gotta drive right now.

[Pete Holmes]

I gotta get a job. Yeah. I can open doors. What else can I do? Day dance, something. Yeah, we can get this dog going out there. Yeah, There's. I think when we're children, we intuit. It sounds like what you were doing is I am me is very close to what a lot of people in spiritual circles would say is like the highest mantra, which is just I am or I. Yeah. It's like. What do you mean when you say I? So it's this reversal, Right. The materialist worldview is that we are obviously material, and then we. We developed consciousness, and then we interact in a world of matter, and that matter is, you know, witnessed by this consciousness. But the consciousness is a faculty of the brain. It's like a function of the brain. But the. The spiritual traditions flip that. They're like I or awareness is the only thing. And when you think that all that we know of the body is seeing it, touching it and feeling it, and all of that is experienced in the knowing of it. It's like, why presume that matter is real? Like, why. Why go like, I'm an instrument that feels this chair. Why not just say, like, the only thing I know is that the feeling. This is where you get real lava lamp and strange. But like, that's kind of. That's kind of the. The Sufi idea that everything is the face of God, or everything is.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

Made of the knowing of it. It. And that can be paranoia and freak out until you realize that you are.

[Christian Dugay]

You are that when you're. When you're comfortable with being within. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yes.

[Christian Dugay]

You are just part of this. You're. You're. You're not really. Your perception of it is essentially nothing.

[Pete Holmes]

Right. Well, it's written on my bathroom mirror. It says, wisdom tells me I am nothing.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Love tells me I am everything. And in between these two, my life flows. So that's the tension between those two. I forget who said that. It's Swami something. But it's in between those two. So we can have a total narcissistic ego freak out by saying, I am nothing. But you have to hold in the other hand, I am the love that.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

That you're everything.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's sort of like you're not a thing. Or really, another way to put it is you're not what you think you are. You're having sort of like a dream or you're dancing a dance.

[Christian Dugay]

That's a great way of putting it. You aren't who you. Who you think you are. I mean, you have probably a closer version than other people, but it's thousands of miles away from really knowing.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

You really aren't who you think you are.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right.

[Christian Dugay]

True.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. And that. So you. Once you have. Once you're anchored in the safety of knowing that there's only one thing, and that's what you essentially are, then you can get really weird with it and be like, so Pete really is just a character in Valley Heat. You know what I mean? Like, when you start taking yourself too seriously.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

And when you forget, we can even bring this down to Earth. You can go like, I'm a child of this Earth. Like, I'm a part. I'm an interconnected part of everything. Meaning, let's say everything is real. You are valid. You, you, the Earth. Every breath is, like, sustaining you. Gravity is literally holding you to the Earth you belong.

[Christian Dugay]

That is a really important thing to remember.

[Pete Holmes]

So important.

[Christian Dugay]

Really is very important. Right. Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

I had therapy yesterday. We were talking about that. I'm just crying because I have these, like, codependent programs where I'm like, I need my parents to. No, you don't. You really don't. You're being loved by so much more than just this infantile. Literally, like a. Like an old groove that you thought to be safe. Whatever this, this or this. Look at how you're being supported constantly.

[Christian Dugay]

Really. It's hard to remember. And I think a lot of it comes from when you're growing up. I think for most people, you just sort of feel like you don't belong. You're like, oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

That's every story we've told.

[Christian Dugay]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So you're constantly feeling like you're imposing?

[Pete Holmes]

Yes. Like a visitor.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

There's a great Alan Watts quote. I say it all the time, but he goes, you didn't come into this world like a visitor. You came out of this world. Meaning, like. Like an apple grows out of the tree. You're a natural occurrence. And every building and every emotion, every job is as natural as a waterfall because this is what's happening.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

The thing keeps bumping up against itself and expanding. So it's like, just relax. It's just what we're doing.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. Yeah. It's hard.

[Pete Holmes]

I know.

[Christian Dugay]

You meditate. You meditate.

[Pete Holmes]

I'm actually not a huge meditator. I'VE been. I've been. I'm more of a contemplator. Like, I'll read something and then close my eyes for a while.

[Christian Dugay]

And then close my eyes for a.

[Pete Holmes]

While, but I don't. I've been thinking about maybe. Maybe doing some more formal meditation. It's hard with a six year old, but it's hard.

[Christian Dugay]

It's hard. Yeah. Yeah. I did TM for a while and then I. And then it's hard to keep it up, but it's always been beneficial when I do it. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

That's why I'd, like, be clear. I'm not feeling guilty. Like, I don't meditate, but I sure sound. I talk like someone who loves meditating and everyone I like likes it, but. So Rupert Spiro, who's my teacher, he's not big on meditating, per se. It's more like meditating. The idea that you'll meditate and you'll go to some divine place is sort of not where I'm at. Or you'll calm down into some place. That's better.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

It's more trying to include everything, including this conversation, including my ride home, and just be like, here it is and here I am. And that's incredible. It doesn't. It's not. The only spiritual thing isn't just sitting quietly.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes. I believe there's. Yeah, there's. Meditation isn't just sitting quietly. It can be anything that. That settles you into now.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. And being profoundly in the. In the now is a type of meditation, even if you're eating a burger with mustard sauce.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I brought Valley Heat back. I brought Valley Heat. Well, I am thrilled to meet you. I couldn't, as everyone that listens to this podcast knows. I'm such a huge, huge fan.

[Christian Dugay]

Thank you.

[Pete Holmes]

I was gonna bring you a trophy. I wish I had, but I couldn't find it. But I was gonna repurpose this trophy I have, and I was gonna write funniest podcast and funniest thing ever. Question mark. To value.

[Christian Dugay]

Thank you very much.

[Pete Holmes]

So it's unbelievably hilarious.

[Christian Dugay]

So. Well, you got to come. You got to come and do it.

[Pete Holmes]

I couldn't believe that you asked me to do it. I was sure, too. Don't worry about that. I mean, I'll take it.

[Christian Dugay]

It's cool. I just had them made, these screen prints. They're really cool.

[Pete Holmes]

Cello pods are people.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

I just googled what a cephalopod is. I didn't know.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, really?

[Pete Holmes]

An octopus?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And they're so smart.

[Christian Dugay]

I mean. Yeah. It kind of goes back to that. Who are. You know? Well, yeah, because we. How are we different? I mean, I know that there's things we don't get me believe we know.

[Pete Holmes]

But don't get me started. I mean, do get me started. I took my daughter to a farm, like a. Like a. Like a riding ponies kind of place. And there was a pig. And it was asleep. I've said this before, but this pig was dead asleep, like, and it was smiling, and it was just. There was another pig sleeping on it. I was like, this pig in its own experience of deep sleep, which is awareness without an object. It's just complete void. Is exactly the same as me when I'm in deep sleep.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

This pig will slowly wake up and realize I'm a pig in the same way that I wake up and go, I'm a person. But the base ingredient of it is the exact same awareness.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And that's. Cephalopods are people.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. That's. I mean, maybe Valley Heat is the sleeper. Philosophical spiritual podcast we didn't know we.

[Christian Dugay]

Needed, but it's like, you wake up and you're like, ah, fuck.

[Pete Holmes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christian Dugay]

Get your shit together.

[Pete Holmes]

God damn it. Yeah. Sometimes I get up and pee and I'm like, I can't believe I'm still draining this bladder.

[Christian Dugay]

Yes.

[Pete Holmes]

I have to do it. You ever eat something and you're just kind of embarrassed, like, I need this.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah. It is strange.

[Pete Holmes]

I have to chew it. It's too big. Swallow it. Then I have to poop it. It's too much to have. So pathetic.

[Christian Dugay]

Always I have to do this. Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

And if I want to go somewhere, I have to walk there. Then I see it. I take a guess as to where the entrance is. Everything is. It can be a drag. Unless it's not. Let me make sure with my notes that I have anything. Oh, yeah. Dragon's Lair. Well, we have one more question. This is for you, by the way. I think you'll love it. This is Modern Mammals. It's my favorite. It's actually the only shampoo I love. They are a sponsor, but this is completely real. You have the right hair type. You know when you go to the beach and you swim in the ocean and then, like, the next day you have perfect hair.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Because there's kind of like a little hold and a little grit to it. Yeah. That's what this is.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, my God.

[Pete Holmes]

It's Beach Head. It's like a little bed heady. It's a little bit like. Like it leaves some of the oil in there. It's not fluffy and poofy like shampoo. I swear by this. Modern mammals, absolute game changer.

[Christian Dugay]

It just opens. Just mud.

[Pete Holmes]

It does look like mud. It actually, they call it magic mud.

[Christian Dugay]

This is great. You will love it.

[Pete Holmes]

You will love it. So give it a try and that after this promo. Jan Robinson. I just want to do valley promos, obviously listen to Valley Heat. I mean, I've said that every episode of the podcast since I've heard it, so that could. Thank you so much. I just want you to walk around the rest of the day feeling like you've really done something special. It's incredible.

[Christian Dugay]

Thank you very much.

[Pete Holmes]

The last question is, can you remember the time in your life where you laughed harder than any other time in your life? Maybe you were a kid, maybe somebody fell.

[Christian Dugay]

Maybe I can. I don't know how funny the story is, but at the time.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, they don't have to be funny. It's just for you.

[Christian Dugay]

I was moving out of an apartment with a friend and I had a recording of the Never Ending Story and I had taped off of the tv.

[Pete Holmes]

We're back. We're full circle. Your Star wars album.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

You started making your own, so.

[Christian Dugay]

Well, I taped it and then I. I was packing it up and I Never ending story. We never. We never did see the end of that one. And then I put it away and we laughed for like, it was. It was just in that moment, like we were like in our, I don't know, 20 or something. I mean, I never laughed that hard. It was not that funny.

[Pete Holmes]

Like, you just threw it away. It's the timing.

[Christian Dugay]

I never did. Never did see the end of that one. And for some reason that was so funny.

[Pete Holmes]

I love it.

[Christian Dugay]

The other time, I was. I was. I was trying to do stand up and I was writing a joke about Dr. Prager's spinach cakes. And I have 20 minutes of me doing this bit and laughing hysterically. And it's not funny at all. But what's funny is how hard I'm laughing at it.

[Pete Holmes]

See, your whole thing is very precious to me. It just reminds me because I'll one for one you on that. One of the hardest laughs of my life. Me, my friend Rob Buscemi and my mom were in her house.

[Christian Dugay]

I just saw him.

[Pete Holmes]

Rob Buscemi?

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, I'm glad you know him. He's great.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, it's awesome.

[Pete Holmes]

I love Rob. We started together as well, and we were. I was making him and my mom laugh. I mean, this is less than what you just told me. I just kept going, have you seen my dog?

[Christian Dugay]

It's pretty funny, though.

[Pete Holmes]

You're easy. But the dog's name was Pappas. I'm looking for my dog Pampas. And I wouldn't. That's okay. I agree with you. That's. There's something charming and funny about that. But it's also that I wouldn't stop. I just went, he's a little dog and his name is Papos. And my mom, a first generation Lithuanian refugee, like, was crying, laughing, and it was one of the highlights of my life. I've never thought of that one. I always ask this question, but that's one of my moments, is, have you seen my dog Piaples? Piapos. Gosh. I also had one recently with Val, where, again, I was stoned. I've been getting stoned a lot lately. And I said to her it was the cleanest snapshot of how I am when I'm stoned ever. And it's this. I went, val, I'm going to tell you three things. I only know one, but by the time I'm done with it, I'll know the other two.

[Christian Dugay]

That's great.

[Pete Holmes]

She was like, that's. That's who you are when you're stone.

[Christian Dugay]

That's great.

[Pete Holmes]

Blindly confident. So sure that after I tell you this one thing, I'll definitely have at least two more. I'm the guy you watch a movie with me, Stone. I keep pausing it.

[Christian Dugay]

Oh, we have a problem. We have a problem with it. Like, if the other person pauses, it's infuriating, of course, but we're constantly pausing.

[Pete Holmes]

Got to do the bit.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, do.

[Pete Holmes]

Well, Emily's so funny. You got to be ripping in some good bits.

[Christian Dugay]

Yeah, that's true.

[Pete Holmes]

All right, well, I really appreciate this, Christian. I'm so happy to know you and thank you for all the count. Everyone I've shown this podcast loves it, so thank you.

[Christian Dugay]

Thanks for sharing it.

[Pete Holmes]

Thanks for having. This will never air.

[Christian Dugay]

It's not even recording. Listen. You just like to hang out with another person with microphones.

[Pete Holmes]

Actually, that's not a bad idea. And what we were saying philosophically, that's sort of what's happening. You know what I mean? It's all just going into the.

[Christian Dugay]

It would be funny if you had a dinner party and everyone got a microphone. You're taping it. One time, my father, we often do that. And he was. He was wearing a GoPro at Thanksgiving dinner.

[Pete Holmes]

He just filmed Thanksgiving.

[Christian Dugay]

The kids were, like, 10.

[Pete Holmes]

Oh, my God. No one told him not to.

[Christian Dugay]

No. He's a big guy. He's taller. He's a big guy.

[Pete Holmes]

Is he kind of like Chuck?

[Christian Dugay]

No, he's not, but he has. He has, conversely, taken my hat off in his house. You wore a GoPro to Thanksgiving dinner?

[Pete Holmes]

I can't wear a chapeau. Unbelievable. Well, thank you so much. We have the guests say keep it crispy. I. I don't want to put a nickel in the jukebox, but if you want to say keep it crispy at, like, Doug Dugay would say, keep it crispy, however that strikes you, or it's just your regular voice, but go ahead.

[Christian Dugay]

I keep it crispy. I guess.

[Pete Holmes]

That's right. That's right. Apparently. Apparently, they want me to say keep.

[Christian Dugay]

It crispy, but they wanted me to say keep it crispy. They wanted. Okay, let me say it twice. Keep it. Okay. Keep it crispy.

[Pete Holmes]

You made me very happy. Okay, this is just facts about Chuck. I'm telling you, it's the funniest thing that's ever existed. All right, goodbye.